Understanding the Value of Singleness

So let's take a look at this very important subject of The myth of singleness as we deal with this issue of intrapersonal relationship. I'm going to be talking about understanding the advantage of being single. Everybody say that. The advantage of being single. It is more important to be single than to be married. And that is why most married people get a divorce. Because they were never single. The reality is most people get married in order to try to become single. Now remember, my theme is the myth of singleness. Let's take a look at a statement I want you to put up on the board, if you will. It's called single but not alone. Say that with me. Single. We want to look at understanding the purpose and the priority for singleness. And please write that down, the purpose and the priority of singleness. Now notice I used the word priority. Singleness is more important than marriage. That is why God did not create a married person first. Whenever God creates, He creates in a program of priority. In other words, He always creates the more important thing first. Then He creates the consecutive items afterwards. So whatever God places as the foundation of something, that is the foundation of it. And so the first thing God created was not a marriage. He didn't create a couple. I want you to think now. God, marriage is not the most important relationship in the society. It isn't. God thought so. He thought it wasn't. So he didn't start with it. He started with the most important component and it was a single human. Let's take a look at something here I thought might be helpful to you first of all. Singleness is the foundation of all relationships. Matter of fact, there is no human experience more traumatic and tragic than divorce. Now, I want to begin with divorce first. Let me tell you why. Because divorce is the ultimate tragedy of relationships. I have an entire series on divorce. You should get it. And don't miss the opportunity to get that book and read it twice. Single, married, and life after divorce. Get that book and read it. If you are not married, it will save you and save your life. Divorce is the most traumatic experience on earth and you who are divorced know what I'm talking about. Secondly, divorce is the death of a relationship. These statements are not to be taken lightly. What is divorce? In other words, divorce is a death. Number three, divorce is worse than physical death. It is easier to handle someone who died physically than to get a divorce. Do you know why? Because when a person dies physically, at least you can take them to the grave. Cover them up and you have closure. And you don't have to see them anymore and don't have to visit them anymore and they don't have to come to see the kids. Come on, you know what I'm talking about, you divorce people. You see, when you get a divorce, it's worse than physical death because the person, even though they are dead, they are still alive. And every time you see them in the food store. In the gas station, on the bus, there's a resurrection. Bitterness, hatred, memories, anger. It's a perpetual death. That's why God says, I hate divorce. God never said I hate death. That's why you don't want to get a divorce. Now those of you who are not married right now, you think you want to get married. But you need a brief meeting with a divorcee here. And let them tell you that it's better to be in your apartment by yourself feeling angry with the world than to be with somebody you want to kill. Can I hear an amen somewhere in the back here? You just think you want to get married. The Bible actually discourages us from marriage. 1 Corinthians chapter 7. It says something very strange. It says, if you are not married, remain in that state. For those who get married have many troubles. I'm reading the Bible look at me like that let me quote it again those who are not married should remain in that state why for those who do marry have not just some many troubles in other words you dress in your white gown put on your tuxedo and walk down to many troubles And your divorce cousin is sitting there going, poor girl. It's traumatic. Write this down, please. Divorce is death without a burial. Therefore, nobody wants to experience a divorce. Now, why am I starting a divorce? Because some of you think that the solution to your loneliness is marriage. It's not. I put it to you that singleness is the foundation. Of all human relationships, here's some thoughts. Divorce is impossible without marriage. Is that true? Think about it. You cannot get divorced unless you're married. This is so funny to me. You cannot get divorced unless you're married. But the other problem is, marriage is impossible without individuals. And that leads to another principle then, and that is marriage is a prerequisite for divorce. I want you to think today. And that leads to the final thought that blows my mind, and that is singleness is a prerequisite for marriage. In other words, you can never experience the trauma of divorce unless you are married. And you cannot be married unless you are an individual. So here's my fundamental principle to remember for the rest of your life. Here it is. And it's this. Your marriage is only as good as your singleness. Whatever you are, that's what you bring to the altar. If your toe smells, if your breath is bad, that's what you bring to the altar. Your marriage is no better than your singleness. Marriage does not improve your singleness or your lack of it, it exposes it. See, no one knows that your feet smell by yourself, so you're safe. No one knows you can't cook and you keep buying McDonald's. They don't know that. But when you get married, it exposes all of your defects. I always tell young people who I do conferences for often, I said, look, when you think about marriage, think about this thought. If you knew all there is to know about you like you know you, would you marry you? And then you are asking someone to live with what you know about you. Serious business, eh? Write this down please. Point number two, very important. You bring to the marriage what you are as a single. So stop concentrating on marriage. Elizabeth Taylor is competing with Henry the eighth. And she still haven't gotten the message. Ain't nothing wrong with those men. She wouldn't come to my marriage class that I teach every Saturday. She still thinks that something's wrong with the men. She keeps bringing to the marriage what she is. And they don't want to live with it. So when you come to a conference like this, you need to have an encounter with yourself. Write this down. Very important point. Here's the myth of singleness. It's okay to be single, but it's not good to be alone. I'm going to prove that in a few minutes. When I discovered this, my whole life changed. And I was 14 years old. I read the whole Bible through at 14. Can you imagine that? And every year since then, I've read the Bible. When I discovered this, my whole discipline changed. I got married at age 25 as a virgin. My wife was a virgin also. And I was famous in my country at age 15. Very famous. I was a musician. I formed a group. We produced music. I play music. I also write songs. And our songs became number one on the secular stations. And so I was very well known. And what I'm saying that for is, the women, they sought after me. What kept me clean? What kept me as a teenager, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 years old, 21 years old, 22, 23, 24 and saved myself for my wife? What kept me? What kept me was when I understood this statement. It's okay to be... Being single but not to be alone. Let me give you a scripture I thought was interesting. And I want you to write these quotes down before we read the scripture. It's not a singleness problem that you have right here in this room. It's a being single problem. See we think that singleness is a negative thing and the church puts pressure on you as well and say how old are you? 30. You ain't married yet? No. You okay? No. You sure you ain't a lesbian? See and they put pressure on you. How old are you? 42. Brother, when you gonna do it? Don't want to do it. Are you saved? Yes. You sure you ain't homo momo? No. And they put pressure on you. Even your parents get into the game. So long as I'm in the house now. I need some grandchildren. See and the pressure it ain't God that's your parents talking. Sometimes the devil is using their lips. And you end up forcing yourself into situations that you ain't prepared for and not want to be in. And now we got two tragedies. No. it is not a singleness problem that you have it is a being single problem let me write down write down this other point please never confuse singleness with being alone why because relationships get better the more single you become now there's a shock See, it's a myth. Singleness has been given a bad rap. But singleness is actually the most important position and pursuit you could have. I keep pursuing being single in my life. Because the more single I become, the more safer it is for my wife. What attracted me to my wife was the fact that she was so single. Let me explain what I mean by that. Singleness is a state to be pursued, not avoided. Say it. Singleness is a state to be pursued, not avoided. Most people are running from singleness instead of running to it. I am here to recommend that you turn around and run towards singleness. Because the more single you become, the safer it is for the person you marry. When a person wants to get married badly, it's a sign that they are not single yet. It's going to get a little deep for you all, I know, but just hang on with me, eh? See, we have to correct this myth that singleness means that something's wrong and that I need to solve it by getting married. It's not the solution. Write this down. To be single should be the goal of every married person. How's that for a shock? Because singleness increases the value you bring to the relationship. The more single you become, the more worth you are to another person. Nothing in the world is worse than marrying a person who was never single because you got to become a babysitter, a parent, a victim, they become a parasite, a leech, a deficit. I said, this will be the moment your life will change. It will be this conference that will change and save your life, I tell you. Because I am so clear that this is the problem with relationships. You don't need marriage first. You need yourself first. Write this down, please. Singleness is God's original foundation. Matthew 19 is an example. I'm going to read this verse with you. You may want to write this verse down. Matthew 19. Here is an encounter that Jesus had with Pharisees and scribes. These were religious leaders. They came... addressed him in Matthew 19. Their question was, very simple question. They said, should a man divorce his wife for any and every reason? That was the question. They were discussing divorce. You see, divorce was a very epidemic. environment it was so bad when Christ came to earth it was it was it was an epidemic matter of fact it started in Malachi Malachi is 400 years before Matthew so the blank page in your Bible between Matthew and Malachi is 400 years And in Malachi, God was talking how angry he was at divorce. So by the time Jesus came, it was epidemic. And now they're discussing it with Jesus. They said, should a man divorce his wife for any and every reason? Now, if you study history... like i did in college i'm talking about biblical history and ancient history you'll discover that during the time of jesus a woman could be divorced from her husband for the silliest reasons for example if she sneezed while they were eating he would divorce her if she burned the food she get a divorce if she came into the room while he was with men discussing business he would divorce her if she didn't tell him in advance she had menstruation experience he would divorce her i mean dumbest reasons so it was bad And now they're asking Jesus, they're setting him up. They said, should a man divorce a woman for any and every reason? Is this right, Jesus? His answer, read it up there. His answer was, is it lawful, they said. His answer was, haven't you read? He replied, that in the beginning, see where he went? In the beginning the Creator made them male and female. Now they're talking about divorce. He ignored them. He went to something they never thought about. He says forget divorce. Let's go back to the beginning when there was only individuals. Oh come on, you're going to get it in a minute. He said you guys are talking about a product that didn't work. Let's go back to find out about the ingredients that you didn't use. He said ain't nothing wrong with your marriage what's wrong with you is the male and female in it if the male and female was right then the product you experienced would not happen watch this he said God made them in the beginning male and female and for this reason I like this Will a man leave his mother and father and cleave unto his wife and the two shall become what? One flesh. He said the only reason you should leave your mother and father. Now this is deep. Is if you meet a male or a female in the beginning. You missed it. I'm going to give you an illustration because you got to see this, all right? Can you come here, sir? Just stand right here for me. Okay. Face me. Can you come here, ma'am? I want you all to watch this illustration, okay? Can you stand right there? Fine. Okay. Now, I need... Can you come here, sir? okay stand here face me okay can you come here please stand here face me all right now the bible says if you meet someone he says the problem is calm down will you i know she gonna do this i knew it i knew it i almost switched with my wife or something you see all right that's fine okay jesus said look if you have a experience in a relationship like a divorce the problem is not the divorce the boss is not the problem the problem is you didn't meet a male or female from the beginning or in the beginning in other words these two here are the two that were in Genesis 1 and 2 these two are in Genesis 3 and 4 These are the two after the fall. These are the two before the fall. He said, now if you're going to get God's results, you have to use God's material. Very important, marriage is not a product of government. It was not created by sociologists, behavioral scientists. It was not a product of psychology. is God's product very important so only God knows how to make it work and God began with original material come on somebody so when you want to study what kind of person to marry you have to study the two in Genesis 1 and 2. Study their relationship with God study their position and their location in the garden. For example, for example. When you study, now I did this for 30 years so I know what I'm talking about with authority. This man in Genesis 1 was not interested in marriage. So you want to meet a man who ain't interested? Uh-oh, we're in trouble now. Why? Because he was so focused on dominating the earth, naming the animals, fulfilling his purpose, he was busy on his vision. I don't want to touch that. It's too deep. Matter of fact, he was so focused, it was God who had to interrupt him to get him married. It was God who said, it ain't good for you to be alone. Come on, give the Lord a big hand. Most of you meet men who are in heat. They are not in purpose and vision. They are in passion and you think they love you. So if you meet people after chapter 3, you are meeting defective humans. Oh Lord have mercy. And if a defect marry a defect, you got yourself a defect and a divorce. Good. And we keep trying to get out of him what he used to have. But he can't produce what he has because he ain't where he was. And he demands from her what she had and she don't have what she had because she ain't where she is And so you end up with this drawing on each other demanding on each other and 99% of all relationships are destroyed because of one word Expectation I didn't know you was like this. See, what they're saying is, I expected something better. I mean, you sing in the choir, brother. I didn't know you were so devilish. Thank you all very much, Adam and Eve and whoever this is. Praise God. Write this down please. Jesus said the only reason why you should leave your mother and father is if you find somebody in the beginning. Very important. In other words, he was proving to us that singleness is God's original plan. Don't look for marriage, look for a single whole person. Here's a thought. It says, so they are no longer two, he says, but one. Therefore, what God joins together, let no man put asunder. book out there on singleness make sure I get a copy everyone I bought enough everybody I think make sure get a copy I do a whole chapter on who God marries because God doesn't marry everybody look at that verse whom means there's a distinction somewhere what God joined. What means there's some that he doesn't? Sometimes it's better for people to go downtown to the registrar and get married. They come down the aisle in a church and they are defects. And they want the pastor to work a miracle. You know the brother ain't saved, but you 50 and you're scared. You know this girl ain't right, but you want someone to call wife and you want the pastor to work a miracle in one hour. Write this down, if he doesn't change to get you, he won't change to keep you. We got this idea that they'll change. well you already compromised why should they change you've lowered your standards you reduce your value why should i change to keep you if i got you with my low value very important watch jesus now verse 9 anyone who divorces his wife except for marital unfaithfulness and marries another woman commits adultery i don't want to get into that but that's a deep one oh i need to come back and teach you on just that because that is so difficult in the church today Verse 10, the disciples said to him, watch the disciples now, this verse 10 is interesting. The disciples said to him, if that is the situation between a man and a woman and his wife, it is better not to marry. That's in the Bible. See, the disciples understood what he said and you don't. Let me give you a hint of what he said, because some of you still need to hear this. He said, there's only one reason why God in heaven allows divorce, only one, and it's adultery. Now watch this. Therefore, God has no tolerance of these statements. I don't love him anymore. We grew apart. We're not close anymore. I don't like him anymore. I think she's gone crazy now. I lost my love for her. We just went apart. Let me tell you how dangerous that is. If you get a divorce for any other purpose than adultery, in heaven you are still married. This is a tough part of the session. That's why, if you get a divorce, for any reason other than adultery, you're still married in God's sight. So if you go with someone else, he says, you cause them to commit adultery because they are going with a married person, even though you think you are separated. Words of Jesus. when the disciples understood that in other words once you get into it you are locked unless the person commits adultery if they curse you spit on you beat you cuss you slap you now listen to me I don't agree with that stuff okay and I would advise you to leave the home that'd be my counsel as a pastor because you're supposed to be abused but even if you leave the home and go live by yourself or with your mama you are still married You all don't want the word. You all want someone to give you permission to do sin. And I ain't got no interest in sin. And so you separate from your husband or your wife. Because of some problem other than divorce, as far as God is concerned, you are still married. And that's why Paul says if you separate, you must remain alone. So you've been separated for 10 years. And your spouse who you are married to, with whom you are not living with, has not committed adultery yet. Then you are still married. So when someone winks at you in the church, in the choir, you must say, pardon me, I'm married still. And what are you waiting for? Waiting for my spouse to commit adultery. That's good, that's good, that's good. You see, the moment that they commit adultery... The covenant is broken, so you are free, Paul says, to marry again. Everybody say, whew. Now you feel better now? But if they didn't commit adultery, you are locked into that union in heaven. That's why that disciple says, if that is the case, then it's better. not to get into it that is why marriage is called an institution thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you god locks you in throws away the key tell you never i'm gonna slow down right now All right, write this down, please. The singleness principle, here it is. Singleness is the most important state of human development. It is. Secondly, singleness is the foundation of God's design for the human family. Very important. Why? Because God began the human family with one single human being, not a couple. People keep saying to me, well, the fundamental component of society is a marriage. That ain't true. Study God's program. It's a single human. God built the entire human race on one single human. One. O-N-E. One. Very important. Therefore God established forever that the foundation for all relationships is the single individual. What you bring to it is what it is. You don't marry people to improve yourself. You marry people to expose yourself. Please buy this tape. I'm going to say it again. You don't marry people in order for you to prove yourself, but to expose yourself. So singleness is the most important thing in relationships. That's why Jesus didn't get married. You don't need to be married to fulfill God's will for your life. Very important. Now, why is singleness the foundation? Well, you're going to like this. This is going to be so simple. But I know that it will change your life forever. Write this down. Genesis 1, 26. So God created man in his own image. In the image of God created him male and female. What did God create? Male and female. He didn't create married people. And that's where Jesus went when he in Matthew 19 was talking about how relationships succeed. He says stop focusing on marriage and focus on male and female. Why? Because marriage is like an omelet. It's only as good as the eggs. Let me say just one more time. Marriage is like an omelet. It is only as good as the eggs. Now, I did an experiment years ago when I was studying this, and this was over 28 years ago when I began to study singleness. I was counseling married couples at age 18. Because of my reading and my knowledge. And I did an experiment. I took a rotten egg. And a perfectly good egg. And I made an omelet. When I fried it. It was stink. And I discovered. That no matter how good the good egg was. I had to throw the omelet away. It would stink. And Paul says, don't be unequally. Who are you yoking with? Sometimes you think, well, they will change. No, they will change you. You can't go to church anymore. I don't like Bishop Butler. I don't want you to go there anymore. See, and here you were in the choir for 20 years and you marry a bum. Relax. Enjoy your singleness. He made them what? Male and female. In other words, God placed a priority on singleness, not marriage. And here's the reason why. Because singleness is the first building block of the human society, not marriage. Write that down, please, because you've been taught the other way around. And if you don't get this right, there will continue to be divorces in this church. In our country, we have the lowest percentage of divorce in our church. I sit with pastors in our country, I said, man, I don't know what you're doing, but you're doing something right. I said, well, look, before anyone can get married in our church, they got to go through a nine-month course that I myself wrote. Why do you think they're not getting divorced? Because it's not love that keeps marriage together. Write that down. It is knowledge. Kissing is not protection against divorce. Knowledge and that's what you're getting here today and don't miss tonight and bring all your divorced friends with you tonight because they're going to get blessed tonight praise God number two God began the human race not with a single I'm not with a couple rather but with a single and that's important because when you study how God did this you see why the single is the critical issue There are 6.8 billion people on earth right now and not one of them came from the soil. Come here, you're my friend today. Come stand with me. This is my friend. Stand up on this step right here for me, please. The step right there. Okay, good, yeah. Just look at me, alright? Now, God only made one human from the soil. Only one. He never went back. Anybody want to dispute that? Now, there's six billion here today. He only made one. He never went back to the soil. Never. and we got six billion that means the entire human race is built on one single person and when god made this one human being very important now he happened to be a male So God's prerogative was the male shall be the foundation of the human family. Most important part of this building is the foundation. Not these lights and these curtains, they're pretty, but they are not important. What's important here is the stuff you cannot see. More money went into this foundation than into this building. Why? Because the foundation has to carry the weight. Oh, I want to talk a little bit. Let me give you ladies, and by the way I got two books out there, you must get them please, because these are 29 years of study. One book is called The Power of the Woman, the other is called The Power of the Male. You have to read them and then exchange and read them both. because you gotta know about yourself and about the opposite sex here's something I found out the male if he's a real man I'm talking about a real man he is at the bottom of the foundation of his family which means he don't talk you see let me put it this way the foundation of this building we don't even see it but it's holding up everything see a real man ain't got a bride he just holds up everything oh come on shout amen women a real man never tells a woman I'm paying the bills here you know I'm the one who keep it no shut up man you ain't a real man Real men don't brag or nothing. All you do is you see their family steady, healthy, prosperous. Because the secret is a foundation underneath there. Holding up the wife and the children and the mortgage and the light bill and the water bill and the phone bill and the tuition and the clothing and the groceries. That's a real man. He doesn't brag on his responsibility. Shout amen somebody. It's a real man. Secondly, foundations are very quiet. Listen, can you hear it? See, you ain't hear nothing. Real men don't walk around announcing what they were supposed to do anyhow. Hallelujah. Now this is just gonna get a little heavy because I got much time left I only got 19 minutes boy I tell you this is crazy anyhow listen so so you see you have this this issue where God only made one human being a single person now what if you study the book of Genesis I ain't got time to get into it, but I'll just show you quickly. It says, and the Lord took the man and put him in the garden of Eden. That's Genesis chapter 2, verse 15. Write that down. Now, God begins to instruct this one human being. He's not talking to anybody else. He's talking to the one human being, it seems. And he said to this one single. He put him in the Garden of Eden. Everybody say Eden. Say it loud. Loud everybody. Eden is important. Write the word Eden down. The word Eden is a Hebrew word which means spot. S-P-O-T. It also means presence. It also means open door. It's a powerful Hebrew word. It also means delightful spot. I wrote a whole book on this. Please get the book. It's called The Power of Praise and Worship. It's about that spot. The word Eden means what? Spot. Let me define it for you. The word Eden in Hebrew means the spot for the moment where the presence of God is an open door to heaven. Everybody buy this tape please. You gotta remember all this stuff. So the first place God took the male man is put him in Eden. What is Eden? The spot for the moment where the presence of God is an open door to heaven. That's why Adam never had to pray, never had to sing, never had to clap, never had to dance, never had to worship. Why? You do those to get into the presence. The guy was put in the presence. Oh, I wish I could be here for two more days talking about this stuff. It's so important to understand that the first thing God gave Adam was not a woman. He gave him his presence, which means the first thing a man needs is not a woman. He needs the presence. If you meet a man... Who shows interest in you? Your first question should not be, do you love me? Wrong question. The first question is, where are you? First question, do you love his presence? Because if a man is in God's presence, he could never slap you. He could never curse you. Man, God's smart. The first thing he gave this male man was his presence. That means when you meet a guy, make sure you meet him in Eden. But you see some of you ladies are so dumb and stupid you go out of Eden to find a brother and then try to drag him back into Eden and the guy say I ain't coming and you wondering why you depressed in church and your husband watching sports Come on clap your hands you gotta get rid of it anyhow get get rid of it praise God get it out if you meet a man who doesn't love to worship run very important He gave him Eden. Then God began to talk to this man. God said to the man, he said, he put him in the garden of Eden. His first instructions, work. Everybody say it, work. Say it again, work. Say it again, work. The first place he put him is in his presence. The first command he gave him is work. So... Nope. The first thing a man needs is not a woman, he needs a job. God wants you to meet the man in his presence and working. By the way, the word work is an interesting word. I did a whole study on this in my book called Releasing Your Potential. You can order it through the internet because we only got a few books out there. I got it bought specifically for you. Make sure you get all of them. Okay, but this book is important. It deals with a whole four chapters on work. I studied the word work. The word work in Hebrew, in that verse. Are you ready for it? Write it down. Write the word work down. Here's what the word means. It's the word ergo. E-R-E-G-O. And it means, I love it. It means to become. It's a deep word. First Commander Adam, become! Here's what God is telling Adam. See, work is not something you do. It is something that you've discovered you're supposed to become and you start becoming it. So never meet a man and marry him who don't know who he is. Because he can't become what he doesn't know. In other words, you've got to find an individual who already has a clear understanding of their purpose. In other words, this man has a vision for his life. God told Adam to become himself. to become the vision he sees why because he's going to later on bring him an assistant I'm getting deep now see a female was created by God to be a help but if ain't nothing to help with you got yourself a frustrated woman come on brother sit up straight now There are thousands and millions of frustrated, quietly depressed women in the church even because they're living with a man who ain't got no vision. and they are full of energy see women come equipped because God made them to be help us that means they are sharp intelligent intuitive wisdom leaking out of them they are full of energy ideas and they're coming to help you and you ain't got nothing to do And so when a woman comes to a man who ain't got nothing to do, that means he ain't got nothing for her to help him with, she finally helps herself. She builds her own business, starts her own company, and then that dumb fool calls it aggression. I'm talking about her husband. Her boyfriend said, you're so aggressive. She ain't aggressive. It's you who ain't got no vision. Oh, I'm talking to somebody. You're so bossy. No, she ain't bossy. You're lazy, brother. She ain't got nothing to put her energy on. That's why she's busy. Come on, ladies. Go with me and shout a little loud for me. So when you want to marry a good man, your first question is what? Are you in the garden? Number two, are you working? Number three, where are you going? What's your vision? Let's not discuss love yet. Because love does not keep marriage together. Is this good stuff? I'm having a good time, I'm telling you. The third thing God told a man, he said cultivate. Everybody say cultivate. Chances are 215. Cultivate. Everybody say cultivate. The word cultivate means to bring out the best in everything around you. To cultivate means that you put fertilizer and you dig around it and you bring out the fruitfulness. In other words, cultivate means that you maximize the potential of something in your presence. God told a male you are to be a cultivator. That means a real man does not oppress a woman's gifts. He makes room for them. He encourages them. He sends her to night school to get more knowledge and he pays for it. Oh, I'm talking to myself. He's a cultivator. He improves his wife. To cultivate means that you make the thing in your presence the best it could be. Cultivation. I love Jesus, you know, he's a good man. And he does have a wife. Her name is Ecclesia. She's a beautiful lady. Here's how he treats her. It says, husband, love your wife like Christ loves his wife. How? He cleanses her. He washes her. He improves her. He gives her the word. He moves every blemish, every stain, every bling. and then it says he presents her to not to his father but to himself in other ways a real man cultivates a woman develops a woman refines woman and makes us so awesome he says that's mine brother look at that that's mine he presents her to him a real man improves God, I got seven minutes, praise God. So when you meet a man who winks at you, don't be impressed. Start asking the questions of the first man. Number one, do you love God's presence? Number two, are you working? Number three, do you have a vision for your life? Number four, can you improve me, baby? Come on, clap your hands loud and shout amen in this place. It's a real man. My wife teaches conferences all over the world with me now. She speaks to millions of women, television. She speaks to thousands of women in conferences all over the different nations. But when I first met her, she was so shy, afraid to even talk to cats. Very, very, very quiet introvert, you know. But you see, let me tell you men something. Listen to me, guys. Listen to me now. When God gives you an assignment, He gives you the material to use it on. Listen to me. So God will never give a male the woman He wants. That's why a male will never find the woman he really wants. She doesn't exist. God will only give him the raw material. Because his job is to what? Cultivate. So you men are trying to find a perfect woman. The perfect woman only exists in your head. Your job is to work on the one that you chose and make her the woman in your head. When Jesus first met his wife, she was full of sin and dirt and muck and damnation and hell bound. He says, I still love you, baby. Come on, somebody. And he married her. And he took his blood and he cleansed her. And then he took every spot, every wrinkle, every blemish, every sin. He said, look at that. That's my baby. Come on, praise his name. Hallelujah. That's a real man. All the ladies say with me, cultivate me baby, cultivate me baby, cultivate me baby. Come on, look at the guy next to you, say cultivate me baby. Come on, praise him just for a couple seconds. Just give him glory. You're getting revelation knowledge. Hallelujah! Praise God! Sit down, quick, sit down, sit down. I got four minutes. Oh Jesus, have mercy. Calm down, listen. And after God gave the man cultivation responsibility, then he comes with the last one. He says... He says guard the garden. Everybody say guard. He told this single man you are to protect everything that comes into your presence. That's why God designed the male to be physically larger. muscle mass is bigger his bone structure is stronger not to hurt women but to protect clap ladies right there praise God when a man hurts a woman physically with his hands or his body he is abusing the purpose for his strength The safest place for a woman should be in the arms of her husband. The safest place for a daughter should be the arms of her father. But we got incest everywhere. Protect. So when you take a young lady out, sir, in this church or wherever you're from, on a date... She's supposed to be safe, not sorry she went. She's supposed to come back safe, not pregnant. You shouldn't use your strength to overpower your date. You use it to protect her from yourself. Jesus was a protector of his wife, wasn't he? You want to hear him talk about her? Listen to how he talks about her. He says, if anyone offends my wife, it is better for him to tie a rope around his neck and a stone on the other end and commit suicide. In other words, don't fool with my wife. I will kill you, he says. That's what I call protection. Don't entertain a man who doesn't open the door for you. Oh Lord. And he open the door because you weak. He open it because he doesn't want you to hurt your nails. Protecting you, baby. Last command God said to the man, he says, and I command you, this is the last one now, he says, keep my command. Do not touch the tree. The last thing God gave the male, the single, was his word. Write it down. His what? Word. That means that the male had the word before the woman. And he had word before woman. By the way, I'm going to autograph all the books that you buy, because my publisher told me my autograph is now worth $56,000. Ooh, that's nice. Listen, when you meet someone who winks at you, first question is what? Do you love his presence? Second question, are you working? Third question, do you have vision? Fourth question, can you cultivate me? Fifth question, can you protect me? Sixth question, do you have the word? Now, I got 39 slides, I only showed you 5. Okay, watch this. So, I gotta go. Oh my goodness, the time is going. Where to go? Put one minute back, please. Listen, so when God finished, God said... Watch this, God said... When God... But the next statement says, then God said, it is not good for this man to be alone. Now, what man? The man who is in his presence, working, has a vision, can cultivate. can't protect and knows the word gossip is not good for that man to be alone so if you meet a man who ain't in his presence ain't working can't cultivate you can't protect you don't know the word it is good for that man to be praise God I say praise God. And when God was finished with this man, everything was finished, the man had everything. Then God went inside the man. He never went back to the soil. He went inside the man. And he pulled out another man. Can you come here please? Stand in the front of him please. Right here, this step. Okay. and he pulled out another man and the bible says he built her now the first word is he formed man that's why males are not good looking he just formed man but females he built. Now that's why I can't understand how a male could be attracted to a male. We are so yuck. I don't understand that. But he built. And the Hebrew word actually means to construct. He took his time. He built her. Why? He was making a few adjustments, you see. And he made an adjustment of the paps and the womb. And then he called her the Wound Man. She's a man, but she's a man with the womb. Now, if there are men here who are not sure they are men, don't break your wrists, put earrings in your ears and wear ponytails. That don't make you a woman. Check to see if you have a womb. And if you don't have a womb, you are a brother. You're a brother. So settle down and put on your long pants. Yeah, let me close on this. He took the woman out of the man and this is the position she's in. Now most of you have been taught that behind every good man is a good woman. Go behind him. I want to show you how dumb that is. God did not take man from his hip, his back or his heel. So when the devil attacks this man and pushes pressure on him, look what he does. He actually destroys the very thing he's supposed to protect. Come back in the front, baby. That's where she belongs, you see. And when the devil attacks her... I love you. God bless you. See you tonight. I gotta go.

The advantage of being single. It is more important to be single than to be married. And that is why most married people get a divorce. Because they were never single. The reality is most people get married in order to try to become single.

Now remember, my theme is the myth of singleness. Let's take a look at a statement I want you to put up on the board, if you will. It's called single but not alone. Say that with me. Single.

We want to look at understanding the purpose and the priority for singleness. And please write that down, the purpose and the priority of singleness. Now notice I used the word priority.

Singleness is more important than marriage. That is why God did not create a married person first. Whenever God creates, He creates in a program of priority. In other words, He always creates the more important thing first.

Then He creates the consecutive items afterwards. So whatever God places as the foundation of something, that is the foundation of it. And so the first thing God created was not a marriage.

He didn't create a couple. I want you to think now. God, marriage is not the most important relationship in the society.

It isn't. God thought so. He thought it wasn't.

So he didn't start with it. He started with the most important component and it was a single human. Let's take a look at something here I thought might be helpful to you first of all. Singleness is the foundation of all relationships.

Matter of fact, there is no human experience more traumatic and tragic than divorce. Now, I want to begin with divorce first. Let me tell you why. Because divorce is the ultimate tragedy of relationships.

I have an entire series on divorce. You should get it. And don't miss the opportunity to get that book and read it twice.

Single, married, and life after divorce. Get that book and read it. If you are not married, it will save you and save your life.

Divorce is the most traumatic experience on earth and you who are divorced know what I'm talking about. Secondly, divorce is the death of a relationship. These statements are not to be taken lightly. What is divorce? In other words, divorce is a death.

Number three, divorce is worse than physical death. It is easier to handle someone who died physically than to get a divorce. Do you know why?

Because when a person dies physically, at least you can take them to the grave. Cover them up and you have closure. And you don't have to see them anymore and don't have to visit them anymore and they don't have to come to see the kids.

Come on, you know what I'm talking about, you divorce people. You see, when you get a divorce, it's worse than physical death because the person, even though they are dead, they are still alive. And every time you see them in the food store.

In the gas station, on the bus, there's a resurrection. Bitterness, hatred, memories, anger. It's a perpetual death. That's why God says, I hate divorce. God never said I hate death.

That's why you don't want to get a divorce. Now those of you who are not married right now, you think you want to get married. But you need a brief meeting with a divorcee here.

And let them tell you that it's better to be in your apartment by yourself feeling angry with the world than to be with somebody you want to kill. Can I hear an amen somewhere in the back here? You just think you want to get married.

The Bible actually discourages us from marriage. 1 Corinthians chapter 7. It says something very strange. It says, if you are not married, remain in that state. For those who get married have many troubles.

I'm reading the Bible look at me like that let me quote it again those who are not married should remain in that state why for those who do marry have not just some many troubles in other words you dress in your white gown put on your tuxedo and walk down to many troubles And your divorce cousin is sitting there going, poor girl. It's traumatic. Write this down, please.

Divorce is death without a burial. Therefore, nobody wants to experience a divorce. Now, why am I starting a divorce?

Because some of you think that the solution to your loneliness is marriage. It's not. I put it to you that singleness is the foundation.

Of all human relationships, here's some thoughts. Divorce is impossible without marriage. Is that true?

Think about it. You cannot get divorced unless you're married. This is so funny to me. You cannot get divorced unless you're married.

But the other problem is, marriage is impossible without individuals. And that leads to another principle then, and that is marriage is a prerequisite for divorce. I want you to think today. And that leads to the final thought that blows my mind, and that is singleness is a prerequisite for marriage. In other words, you can never experience the trauma of divorce unless you are married.

And you cannot be married unless you are an individual. So here's my fundamental principle to remember for the rest of your life. Here it is. And it's this.

Your marriage is only as good as your singleness. Whatever you are, that's what you bring to the altar. If your toe smells, if your breath is bad, that's what you bring to the altar.

Your marriage is no better than your singleness. Marriage does not improve your singleness or your lack of it, it exposes it. See, no one knows that your feet smell by yourself, so you're safe.

No one knows you can't cook and you keep buying McDonald's. They don't know that. But when you get married, it exposes all of your defects. I always tell young people who I do conferences for often, I said, look, when you think about marriage, think about this thought.

If you knew all there is to know about you like you know you, would you marry you? And then you are asking someone to live with what you know about you. Serious business, eh? Write this down please.

Point number two, very important. You bring to the marriage what you are as a single. So stop concentrating on marriage. Elizabeth Taylor is competing with Henry the eighth.

And she still haven't gotten the message. Ain't nothing wrong with those men. She wouldn't come to my marriage class that I teach every Saturday. She still thinks that something's wrong with the men.

She keeps bringing to the marriage what she is. And they don't want to live with it. So when you come to a conference like this, you need to have an encounter with yourself. Write this down. Very important point.

Here's the myth of singleness. It's okay to be single, but it's not good to be alone. I'm going to prove that in a few minutes. When I discovered this, my whole life changed. And I was 14 years old.

I read the whole Bible through at 14. Can you imagine that? And every year since then, I've read the Bible. When I discovered this, my whole discipline changed.

I got married at age 25 as a virgin. My wife was a virgin also. And I was famous in my country at age 15. Very famous. I was a musician. I formed a group.

We produced music. I play music. I also write songs.

And our songs became number one on the secular stations. And so I was very well known. And what I'm saying that for is, the women, they sought after me. What kept me clean?

What kept me as a teenager, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 years old, 21 years old, 22, 23, 24 and saved myself for my wife? What kept me? What kept me was when I understood this statement.

It's okay to be... Being single but not to be alone. Let me give you a scripture I thought was interesting. And I want you to write these quotes down before we read the scripture. It's not a singleness problem that you have right here in this room.

It's a being single problem. See we think that singleness is a negative thing and the church puts pressure on you as well and say how old are you? 30. You ain't married yet? No.

You okay? No. You sure you ain't a lesbian? See and they put pressure on you. How old are you?

42. Brother, when you gonna do it? Don't want to do it. Are you saved? Yes. You sure you ain't homo momo?

No. And they put pressure on you. Even your parents get into the game.

So long as I'm in the house now. I need some grandchildren. See and the pressure it ain't God that's your parents talking.

Sometimes the devil is using their lips. And you end up forcing yourself into situations that you ain't prepared for and not want to be in. And now we got two tragedies. No. it is not a singleness problem that you have it is a being single problem let me write down write down this other point please never confuse singleness with being alone why because relationships get better the more single you become now there's a shock See, it's a myth. Singleness has been given a bad rap.

But singleness is actually the most important position and pursuit you could have. I keep pursuing being single in my life. Because the more single I become, the more safer it is for my wife. What attracted me to my wife was the fact that she was so single.

Let me explain what I mean by that. Singleness is a state to be pursued, not avoided. Say it. Singleness is a state to be pursued, not avoided. Most people are running from singleness instead of running to it.

I am here to recommend that you turn around and run towards singleness. Because the more single you become, the safer it is for the person you marry. When a person wants to get married badly, it's a sign that they are not single yet. It's going to get a little deep for you all, I know, but just hang on with me, eh?

See, we have to correct this myth that singleness means that something's wrong and that I need to solve it by getting married. It's not the solution. Write this down. To be single should be the goal of every married person. How's that for a shock?

Because singleness increases the value you bring to the relationship. The more single you become, the more worth you are to another person. Nothing in the world is worse than marrying a person who was never single because you got to become a babysitter, a parent, a victim, they become a parasite, a leech, a deficit. I said, this will be the moment your life will change. It will be this conference that will change and save your life, I tell you.

Because I am so clear that this is the problem with relationships. You don't need marriage first. You need yourself first. Write this down, please.

Singleness is God's original foundation. Matthew 19 is an example. I'm going to read this verse with you. You may want to write this verse down.

Matthew 19. Here is an encounter that Jesus had with Pharisees and scribes. These were religious leaders. They came...

addressed him in Matthew 19. Their question was, very simple question. They said, should a man divorce his wife for any and every reason? That was the question. They were discussing divorce. You see, divorce was a very epidemic.

environment it was so bad when Christ came to earth it was it was it was an epidemic matter of fact it started in Malachi Malachi is 400 years before Matthew so the blank page in your Bible between Matthew and Malachi is 400 years And in Malachi, God was talking how angry he was at divorce. So by the time Jesus came, it was epidemic. And now they're discussing it with Jesus.

They said, should a man divorce his wife for any and every reason? Now, if you study history... like i did in college i'm talking about biblical history and ancient history you'll discover that during the time of jesus a woman could be divorced from her husband for the silliest reasons for example if she sneezed while they were eating he would divorce her if she burned the food she get a divorce if she came into the room while he was with men discussing business he would divorce her if she didn't tell him in advance she had menstruation experience he would divorce her i mean dumbest reasons so it was bad And now they're asking Jesus, they're setting him up. They said, should a man divorce a woman for any and every reason?

Is this right, Jesus? His answer, read it up there. His answer was, is it lawful, they said.

His answer was, haven't you read? He replied, that in the beginning, see where he went? In the beginning the Creator made them male and female. Now they're talking about divorce. He ignored them.

He went to something they never thought about. He says forget divorce. Let's go back to the beginning when there was only individuals.

Oh come on, you're going to get it in a minute. He said you guys are talking about a product that didn't work. Let's go back to find out about the ingredients that you didn't use. He said ain't nothing wrong with your marriage what's wrong with you is the male and female in it if the male and female was right then the product you experienced would not happen watch this he said God made them in the beginning male and female and for this reason I like this Will a man leave his mother and father and cleave unto his wife and the two shall become what? One flesh.

He said the only reason you should leave your mother and father. Now this is deep. Is if you meet a male or a female in the beginning.

You missed it. I'm going to give you an illustration because you got to see this, all right? Can you come here, sir? Just stand right here for me. Okay.

Face me. Can you come here, ma'am? I want you all to watch this illustration, okay? Can you stand right there?

Fine. Okay. Now, I need...

Can you come here, sir? okay stand here face me okay can you come here please stand here face me all right now the bible says if you meet someone he says the problem is calm down will you i know she gonna do this i knew it i knew it i almost switched with my wife or something you see all right that's fine okay jesus said look if you have a experience in a relationship like a divorce the problem is not the divorce the boss is not the problem the problem is you didn't meet a male or female from the beginning or in the beginning in other words these two here are the two that were in Genesis 1 and 2 these two are in Genesis 3 and 4 These are the two after the fall. These are the two before the fall.

He said, now if you're going to get God's results, you have to use God's material. Very important, marriage is not a product of government. It was not created by sociologists, behavioral scientists. It was not a product of psychology.

is God's product very important so only God knows how to make it work and God began with original material come on somebody so when you want to study what kind of person to marry you have to study the two in Genesis 1 and 2. Study their relationship with God study their position and their location in the garden. For example, for example. When you study, now I did this for 30 years so I know what I'm talking about with authority.

This man in Genesis 1 was not interested in marriage. So you want to meet a man who ain't interested? Uh-oh, we're in trouble now.

Why? Because he was so focused on dominating the earth, naming the animals, fulfilling his purpose, he was busy on his vision. I don't want to touch that. It's too deep.

Matter of fact, he was so focused, it was God who had to interrupt him to get him married. It was God who said, it ain't good for you to be alone. Come on, give the Lord a big hand.

Most of you meet men who are in heat. They are not in purpose and vision. They are in passion and you think they love you. So if you meet people after chapter 3, you are meeting defective humans.

Oh Lord have mercy. And if a defect marry a defect, you got yourself a defect and a divorce. Good.

And we keep trying to get out of him what he used to have. But he can't produce what he has because he ain't where he was. And he demands from her what she had and she don't have what she had because she ain't where she is And so you end up with this drawing on each other demanding on each other and 99% of all relationships are destroyed because of one word Expectation I didn't know you was like this. See, what they're saying is, I expected something better.

I mean, you sing in the choir, brother. I didn't know you were so devilish. Thank you all very much, Adam and Eve and whoever this is. Praise God.

Write this down please. Jesus said the only reason why you should leave your mother and father is if you find somebody in the beginning. Very important.

In other words, he was proving to us that singleness is God's original plan. Don't look for marriage, look for a single whole person. Here's a thought. It says, so they are no longer two, he says, but one.

Therefore, what God joins together, let no man put asunder. book out there on singleness make sure I get a copy everyone I bought enough everybody I think make sure get a copy I do a whole chapter on who God marries because God doesn't marry everybody look at that verse whom means there's a distinction somewhere what God joined. What means there's some that he doesn't?

Sometimes it's better for people to go downtown to the registrar and get married. They come down the aisle in a church and they are defects. And they want the pastor to work a miracle.

You know the brother ain't saved, but you 50 and you're scared. You know this girl ain't right, but you want someone to call wife and you want the pastor to work a miracle in one hour. Write this down, if he doesn't change to get you, he won't change to keep you. We got this idea that they'll change. well you already compromised why should they change you've lowered your standards you reduce your value why should i change to keep you if i got you with my low value very important watch jesus now verse 9 anyone who divorces his wife except for marital unfaithfulness and marries another woman commits adultery i don't want to get into that but that's a deep one oh i need to come back and teach you on just that because that is so difficult in the church today Verse 10, the disciples said to him, watch the disciples now, this verse 10 is interesting.

The disciples said to him, if that is the situation between a man and a woman and his wife, it is better not to marry. That's in the Bible. See, the disciples understood what he said and you don't.

Let me give you a hint of what he said, because some of you still need to hear this. He said, there's only one reason why God in heaven allows divorce, only one, and it's adultery. Now watch this.

Therefore, God has no tolerance of these statements. I don't love him anymore. We grew apart.

We're not close anymore. I don't like him anymore. I think she's gone crazy now.

I lost my love for her. We just went apart. Let me tell you how dangerous that is.

If you get a divorce for any other purpose than adultery, in heaven you are still married. This is a tough part of the session. That's why, if you get a divorce, for any reason other than adultery, you're still married in God's sight.

So if you go with someone else, he says, you cause them to commit adultery because they are going with a married person, even though you think you are separated. Words of Jesus. when the disciples understood that in other words once you get into it you are locked unless the person commits adultery if they curse you spit on you beat you cuss you slap you now listen to me I don't agree with that stuff okay and I would advise you to leave the home that'd be my counsel as a pastor because you're supposed to be abused but even if you leave the home and go live by yourself or with your mama you are still married You all don't want the word. You all want someone to give you permission to do sin.

And I ain't got no interest in sin. And so you separate from your husband or your wife. Because of some problem other than divorce, as far as God is concerned, you are still married.

And that's why Paul says if you separate, you must remain alone. So you've been separated for 10 years. And your spouse who you are married to, with whom you are not living with, has not committed adultery yet. Then you are still married.

So when someone winks at you in the church, in the choir, you must say, pardon me, I'm married still. And what are you waiting for? Waiting for my spouse to commit adultery. That's good, that's good, that's good. You see, the moment that they commit adultery...

The covenant is broken, so you are free, Paul says, to marry again. Everybody say, whew. Now you feel better now? But if they didn't commit adultery, you are locked into that union in heaven.

That's why that disciple says, if that is the case, then it's better. not to get into it that is why marriage is called an institution thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you god locks you in throws away the key tell you never i'm gonna slow down right now All right, write this down, please. The singleness principle, here it is. Singleness is the most important state of human development.

It is. Secondly, singleness is the foundation of God's design for the human family. Very important.

Why? Because God began the human family with one single human being, not a couple. People keep saying to me, well, the fundamental component of society is a marriage. That ain't true.

Study God's program. It's a single human. God built the entire human race on one single human. One.

O-N-E. One. Very important.

Therefore God established forever that the foundation for all relationships is the single individual. What you bring to it is what it is. You don't marry people to improve yourself. You marry people to expose yourself.

Please buy this tape. I'm going to say it again. You don't marry people in order for you to prove yourself, but to expose yourself. So singleness is the most important thing in relationships.

That's why Jesus didn't get married. You don't need to be married to fulfill God's will for your life. Very important. Now, why is singleness the foundation? Well, you're going to like this.

This is going to be so simple. But I know that it will change your life forever. Write this down.

Genesis 1, 26. So God created man in his own image. In the image of God created him male and female. What did God create? Male and female. He didn't create married people.

And that's where Jesus went when he in Matthew 19 was talking about how relationships succeed. He says stop focusing on marriage and focus on male and female. Why? Because marriage is like an omelet. It's only as good as the eggs.

Let me say just one more time. Marriage is like an omelet. It is only as good as the eggs.

Now, I did an experiment years ago when I was studying this, and this was over 28 years ago when I began to study singleness. I was counseling married couples at age 18. Because of my reading and my knowledge. And I did an experiment. I took a rotten egg. And a perfectly good egg.

And I made an omelet. When I fried it. It was stink. And I discovered.

That no matter how good the good egg was. I had to throw the omelet away. It would stink.

And Paul says, don't be unequally. Who are you yoking with? Sometimes you think, well, they will change. No, they will change you. You can't go to church anymore.

I don't like Bishop Butler. I don't want you to go there anymore. See, and here you were in the choir for 20 years and you marry a bum. Relax.

Enjoy your singleness. He made them what? Male and female.

In other words, God placed a priority on singleness, not marriage. And here's the reason why. Because singleness is the first building block of the human society, not marriage. Write that down, please, because you've been taught the other way around. And if you don't get this right, there will continue to be divorces in this church.

In our country, we have the lowest percentage of divorce in our church. I sit with pastors in our country, I said, man, I don't know what you're doing, but you're doing something right. I said, well, look, before anyone can get married in our church, they got to go through a nine-month course that I myself wrote. Why do you think they're not getting divorced?

Because it's not love that keeps marriage together. Write that down. It is knowledge.

Kissing is not protection against divorce. Knowledge and that's what you're getting here today and don't miss tonight and bring all your divorced friends with you tonight because they're going to get blessed tonight praise God number two God began the human race not with a single I'm not with a couple rather but with a single and that's important because when you study how God did this you see why the single is the critical issue There are 6.8 billion people on earth right now and not one of them came from the soil. Come here, you're my friend today.

Come stand with me. This is my friend. Stand up on this step right here for me, please. The step right there. Okay, good, yeah.

Just look at me, alright? Now, God only made one human from the soil. Only one.

He never went back. Anybody want to dispute that? Now, there's six billion here today. He only made one. He never went back to the soil.

Never. and we got six billion that means the entire human race is built on one single person and when god made this one human being very important now he happened to be a male So God's prerogative was the male shall be the foundation of the human family. Most important part of this building is the foundation. Not these lights and these curtains, they're pretty, but they are not important. What's important here is the stuff you cannot see.

More money went into this foundation than into this building. Why? Because the foundation has to carry the weight.

Oh, I want to talk a little bit. Let me give you ladies, and by the way I got two books out there, you must get them please, because these are 29 years of study. One book is called The Power of the Woman, the other is called The Power of the Male. You have to read them and then exchange and read them both. because you gotta know about yourself and about the opposite sex here's something I found out the male if he's a real man I'm talking about a real man he is at the bottom of the foundation of his family which means he don't talk you see let me put it this way the foundation of this building we don't even see it but it's holding up everything see a real man ain't got a bride he just holds up everything oh come on shout amen women a real man never tells a woman I'm paying the bills here you know I'm the one who keep it no shut up man you ain't a real man Real men don't brag or nothing.

All you do is you see their family steady, healthy, prosperous. Because the secret is a foundation underneath there. Holding up the wife and the children and the mortgage and the light bill and the water bill and the phone bill and the tuition and the clothing and the groceries. That's a real man. He doesn't brag on his responsibility.

Shout amen somebody. It's a real man. Secondly, foundations are very quiet.

Listen, can you hear it? See, you ain't hear nothing. Real men don't walk around announcing what they were supposed to do anyhow.

Hallelujah. Now this is just gonna get a little heavy because I got much time left I only got 19 minutes boy I tell you this is crazy anyhow listen so so you see you have this this issue where God only made one human being a single person now what if you study the book of Genesis I ain't got time to get into it, but I'll just show you quickly. It says, and the Lord took the man and put him in the garden of Eden. That's Genesis chapter 2, verse 15. Write that down.

Now, God begins to instruct this one human being. He's not talking to anybody else. He's talking to the one human being, it seems. And he said to this one single. He put him in the Garden of Eden.

Everybody say Eden. Say it loud. Loud everybody. Eden is important. Write the word Eden down.

The word Eden is a Hebrew word which means spot. S-P-O-T. It also means presence.

It also means open door. It's a powerful Hebrew word. It also means delightful spot. I wrote a whole book on this.

Please get the book. It's called The Power of Praise and Worship. It's about that spot.

The word Eden means what? Spot. Let me define it for you.

The word Eden in Hebrew means the spot for the moment where the presence of God is an open door to heaven. Everybody buy this tape please. You gotta remember all this stuff. So the first place God took the male man is put him in Eden.

What is Eden? The spot for the moment where the presence of God is an open door to heaven. That's why Adam never had to pray, never had to sing, never had to clap, never had to dance, never had to worship. Why? You do those to get into the presence.

The guy was put in the presence. Oh, I wish I could be here for two more days talking about this stuff. It's so important to understand that the first thing God gave Adam was not a woman. He gave him his presence, which means the first thing a man needs is not a woman. He needs the presence.

If you meet a man... Who shows interest in you? Your first question should not be, do you love me?

Wrong question. The first question is, where are you? First question, do you love his presence?

Because if a man is in God's presence, he could never slap you. He could never curse you. Man, God's smart.

The first thing he gave this male man was his presence. That means when you meet a guy, make sure you meet him in Eden. But you see some of you ladies are so dumb and stupid you go out of Eden to find a brother and then try to drag him back into Eden and the guy say I ain't coming and you wondering why you depressed in church and your husband watching sports Come on clap your hands you gotta get rid of it anyhow get get rid of it praise God get it out if you meet a man who doesn't love to worship run very important He gave him Eden. Then God began to talk to this man. God said to the man, he said, he put him in the garden of Eden.

His first instructions, work. Everybody say it, work. Say it again, work. Say it again, work. The first place he put him is in his presence.

The first command he gave him is work. So... Nope. The first thing a man needs is not a woman, he needs a job. God wants you to meet the man in his presence and working.

By the way, the word work is an interesting word. I did a whole study on this in my book called Releasing Your Potential. You can order it through the internet because we only got a few books out there. I got it bought specifically for you.

Make sure you get all of them. Okay, but this book is important. It deals with a whole four chapters on work.

I studied the word work. The word work in Hebrew, in that verse. Are you ready for it? Write it down.

Write the word work down. Here's what the word means. It's the word ergo.

E-R-E-G-O. And it means, I love it. It means to become. It's a deep word. First Commander Adam, become!

Here's what God is telling Adam. See, work is not something you do. It is something that you've discovered you're supposed to become and you start becoming it. So never meet a man and marry him who don't know who he is.

Because he can't become what he doesn't know. In other words, you've got to find an individual who already has a clear understanding of their purpose. In other words, this man has a vision for his life.

God told Adam to become himself. to become the vision he sees why because he's going to later on bring him an assistant I'm getting deep now see a female was created by God to be a help but if ain't nothing to help with you got yourself a frustrated woman come on brother sit up straight now There are thousands and millions of frustrated, quietly depressed women in the church even because they're living with a man who ain't got no vision. and they are full of energy see women come equipped because God made them to be help us that means they are sharp intelligent intuitive wisdom leaking out of them they are full of energy ideas and they're coming to help you and you ain't got nothing to do And so when a woman comes to a man who ain't got nothing to do, that means he ain't got nothing for her to help him with, she finally helps herself. She builds her own business, starts her own company, and then that dumb fool calls it aggression.

I'm talking about her husband. Her boyfriend said, you're so aggressive. She ain't aggressive.

It's you who ain't got no vision. Oh, I'm talking to somebody. You're so bossy.

No, she ain't bossy. You're lazy, brother. She ain't got nothing to put her energy on.

That's why she's busy. Come on, ladies. Go with me and shout a little loud for me.

So when you want to marry a good man, your first question is what? Are you in the garden? Number two, are you working? Number three, where are you going?

What's your vision? Let's not discuss love yet. Because love does not keep marriage together. Is this good stuff?

I'm having a good time, I'm telling you. The third thing God told a man, he said cultivate. Everybody say cultivate. Chances are 215. Cultivate. Everybody say cultivate.

The word cultivate means to bring out the best in everything around you. To cultivate means that you put fertilizer and you dig around it and you bring out the fruitfulness. In other words, cultivate means that you maximize the potential of something in your presence.

God told a male you are to be a cultivator. That means a real man does not oppress a woman's gifts. He makes room for them.

He encourages them. He sends her to night school to get more knowledge and he pays for it. Oh, I'm talking to myself. He's a cultivator.

He improves his wife. To cultivate means that you make the thing in your presence the best it could be. Cultivation.

I love Jesus, you know, he's a good man. And he does have a wife. Her name is Ecclesia. She's a beautiful lady.

Here's how he treats her. It says, husband, love your wife like Christ loves his wife. How?

He cleanses her. He washes her. He improves her. He gives her the word. He moves every blemish, every stain, every bling.

and then it says he presents her to not to his father but to himself in other ways a real man cultivates a woman develops a woman refines woman and makes us so awesome he says that's mine brother look at that that's mine he presents her to him a real man improves God, I got seven minutes, praise God. So when you meet a man who winks at you, don't be impressed. Start asking the questions of the first man. Number one, do you love God's presence? Number two, are you working?

Number three, do you have a vision for your life? Number four, can you improve me, baby? Come on, clap your hands loud and shout amen in this place. It's a real man. My wife teaches conferences all over the world with me now.

She speaks to millions of women, television. She speaks to thousands of women in conferences all over the different nations. But when I first met her, she was so shy, afraid to even talk to cats.

Very, very, very quiet introvert, you know. But you see, let me tell you men something. Listen to me, guys.

Listen to me now. When God gives you an assignment, He gives you the material to use it on. Listen to me.

So God will never give a male the woman He wants. That's why a male will never find the woman he really wants. She doesn't exist. God will only give him the raw material. Because his job is to what?

Cultivate. So you men are trying to find a perfect woman. The perfect woman only exists in your head.

Your job is to work on the one that you chose and make her the woman in your head. When Jesus first met his wife, she was full of sin and dirt and muck and damnation and hell bound. He says, I still love you, baby. Come on, somebody.

And he married her. And he took his blood and he cleansed her. And then he took every spot, every wrinkle, every blemish, every sin. He said, look at that.

That's my baby. Come on, praise his name. Hallelujah. That's a real man.

All the ladies say with me, cultivate me baby, cultivate me baby, cultivate me baby. Come on, look at the guy next to you, say cultivate me baby. Come on, praise him just for a couple seconds.

Just give him glory. You're getting revelation knowledge. Hallelujah!

Praise God! Sit down, quick, sit down, sit down. I got four minutes.

Oh Jesus, have mercy. Calm down, listen. And after God gave the man cultivation responsibility, then he comes with the last one.

He says... He says guard the garden. Everybody say guard. He told this single man you are to protect everything that comes into your presence.

That's why God designed the male to be physically larger. muscle mass is bigger his bone structure is stronger not to hurt women but to protect clap ladies right there praise God when a man hurts a woman physically with his hands or his body he is abusing the purpose for his strength The safest place for a woman should be in the arms of her husband. The safest place for a daughter should be the arms of her father. But we got incest everywhere.

Protect. So when you take a young lady out, sir, in this church or wherever you're from, on a date... She's supposed to be safe, not sorry she went.

She's supposed to come back safe, not pregnant. You shouldn't use your strength to overpower your date. You use it to protect her from yourself.

Jesus was a protector of his wife, wasn't he? You want to hear him talk about her? Listen to how he talks about her. He says, if anyone offends my wife, it is better for him to tie a rope around his neck and a stone on the other end and commit suicide.

In other words, don't fool with my wife. I will kill you, he says. That's what I call protection. Don't entertain a man who doesn't open the door for you. Oh Lord.

And he open the door because you weak. He open it because he doesn't want you to hurt your nails. Protecting you, baby. Last command God said to the man, he says, and I command you, this is the last one now, he says, keep my command. Do not touch the tree.

The last thing God gave the male, the single, was his word. Write it down. His what?

Word. That means that the male had the word before the woman. And he had word before woman. By the way, I'm going to autograph all the books that you buy, because my publisher told me my autograph is now worth $56,000.

Ooh, that's nice. Listen, when you meet someone who winks at you, first question is what? Do you love his presence?

Second question, are you working? Third question, do you have vision? Fourth question, can you cultivate me?

Fifth question, can you protect me? Sixth question, do you have the word? Now, I got 39 slides, I only showed you 5. Okay, watch this. So, I gotta go.

Oh my goodness, the time is going. Where to go? Put one minute back, please. Listen, so when God finished, God said... Watch this, God said...

When God... But the next statement says, then God said, it is not good for this man to be alone. Now, what man?

The man who is in his presence, working, has a vision, can cultivate. can't protect and knows the word gossip is not good for that man to be alone so if you meet a man who ain't in his presence ain't working can't cultivate you can't protect you don't know the word it is good for that man to be praise God I say praise God. And when God was finished with this man, everything was finished, the man had everything.

Then God went inside the man. He never went back to the soil. He went inside the man. And he pulled out another man. Can you come here please?

Stand in the front of him please. Right here, this step. Okay. and he pulled out another man and the bible says he built her now the first word is he formed man that's why males are not good looking he just formed man but females he built.

Now that's why I can't understand how a male could be attracted to a male. We are so yuck. I don't understand that.

But he built. And the Hebrew word actually means to construct. He took his time. He built her. Why?

He was making a few adjustments, you see. And he made an adjustment of the paps and the womb. And then he called her the Wound Man. She's a man, but she's a man with the womb.

Now, if there are men here who are not sure they are men, don't break your wrists, put earrings in your ears and wear ponytails. That don't make you a woman. Check to see if you have a womb. And if you don't have a womb, you are a brother.

You're a brother. So settle down and put on your long pants. Yeah, let me close on this. He took the woman out of the man and this is the position she's in.

Now most of you have been taught that behind every good man is a good woman. Go behind him. I want to show you how dumb that is. God did not take man from his hip, his back or his heel. So when the devil attacks this man and pushes pressure on him, look what he does.

He actually destroys the very thing he's supposed to protect. Come back in the front, baby. That's where she belongs, you see.

And when the devil attacks her... I love you. God bless you. See you tonight. I gotta go.

Transcript for:Understanding the Value of Singleness

Transcript for:
Understanding the Value of Singleness