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Critique of Marriage as Social Control

Mar 13, 2025

Marriage Will Never Set Us Free

Key Thesis

  • Critique of Marriage Advocacy: The article argues against the celebration of same-sex marriage advocacy, emphasizing that marriage is a tool of social control rather than a means of achieving true equality.
  • Systems of Control: Marriage is portrayed as a regulatory tool used by governments to control sexuality and family structures, prioritizing certain relationships while stigmatizing others.

Historical Context and Criticisms

I. What is Marriage?

  • Marriage as Social Control: Civil marriage is a mechanism for governments to promote and reward certain family structures, thus controlling sexuality and family formation.
  • Rubin's Analysis: Gayle Rubin's essay "Thinking Sex" describes a hierarchy of sexual practices, where marriage is part of the "charmed circle" that is rewarded by society.
  • Myths about Marriage: Societal myths, reinforced by same-sex marriage advocacy, suggest marriage is about love and civilization, but are seen as a means of enforcing sexual norms.

Marriage as a Tool of Oppression

  • Anti-Black Racism: Marriage has historically been used to control and oppress Black people, from slavery through post-emancipation laws.
  • Colonialism: Marriage was used to enforce European norms on indigenous populations, aiding in land theft and ethnic cleansing.
  • Immigration Control: Marriage is a tool for immigration regulation, affecting immigrants' lives and leading to exploitation.
  • Gendered Social Control: Feminists critique marriage as a tool for controlling women, enforcing unpaid labor, and cultivating sexual violence.
  • Property and Maldistribution: Marriage preserves wealth within certain classes, aligning with economic injustice.

II. Responses to Critiques of Same-Sex Marriage Advocacy

  • Choice and Individualism: Framing marriage as a choice ignores the coercive systems that reward participants while punishing others.
  • Myth of Love: The cultural myth that marriage is about love overlooks its role in controlling people and resources.
  • Queer Identity: Responses to critiques often include defensiveness and a misunderstanding of systemic critique as personal judgment.

III. Against Inclusion

  • Inclusion in State Systems: Same-sex marriage advocacy aligns with right-wing family values and undermines critiques of state regulation of family norms.
  • Divisive Strategies: Inclusion strategies promote certain narratives about deserving gay and lesbian couples, reinforcing stigmas against marginalized queers.
  • Top-Down Movement: The movement for same-sex marriage is driven by a small elite, diminishing grassroots efforts to challenge broader systems of oppression.

Conclusion

  • Call for Broader Activism: The piece calls for support of queer and trans activism focused on racial and economic justice, rejecting marriage as a false solution to systemic inequalities.