harry potter and the philosophers cern chapter one the boy who lived mr and mrs dursley of number four privet drive were proud to say that they were perfectly normal thank you very much they were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious because they just didn't hold with such nonsense mr dursley was the director of a forum called gronings which made drills he was a big beefy man with hardly any neck although he did have a very large mustache mrs dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time crawling over garden fences spying on the neighbors the dursleys had a small sun called dudley and in their opinion there was no finer boy anyway the dursleys had everything they wanted but they also had a secret and their greatest fear was that somebody would discover it they didn't think they could bury it if anyone found out about the putters mrs potter was miss his dursley sister but they hadn't met for several years in fact mrs dursley pretended she didn't have a sister because her sister and her good for nothing husband were as unders leash as it was possible to be the dursleys shuddered thing what the neighbors would say if the potters arrived in the street the dursleys knew that the potters had a small son too but they had never even seen him this boy was another good reason for keeping the putters away they didn't want dudley mixing with a child like that when mr and mrs dursley woke up until great tuesday our story starts there was nothing about the cloudy sky outside to suggest that strange and mysterious things would soon be happening all over the country mr dursley humped as he picked out his most boring tie for work and mrs dursley gossiped away happily as she wrestled a screaming dudley into his high chair none of them noticed a large tony owl fluttering past the window at half past eight mr dursley picked up his briefcase pecked mrs dirtly on the cheek and tried to kiss dudley goodbye but missed because dudley was now having a tantrum and drawing his cereal at the waltz little tyke chartered mr dursley as he left the house he got into his car and backed out of number four's drive it was on the corner of the street that he noticed the first sign of something peculiar a cat reading a map for a second mr dursley didn't realize what he had seen then he jerked his head around to look again there was a tubby cat standing on the corner of private drive but there wasn't a map inside what could he have been thinking of it must have been a trick of the light mr dursley blinked and stared at the cat it stared back as mr dursley drove around the corner and up the road he watched the cat in his mirror it was now reading the sign that said privet drive no looking at the sign cats couldn't read maps or signs mr dursley gave himself a little shake and put the cat out of his mind as he drove toward town he thought of nothing except a large order of drills he was hoping to get that day but on the edge of town drills were driven out of his mind by something else as he sat in the usual morning traffic jam he couldn't help noticing that there seemed to be a lot of strangely dressed people about people in cloaks mr dursley couldn't bear people who dressed in funny clouds the get ups you sow on young people he supposed this was some stupid new fashion he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and his eyes fell on a huddle of these weirdos standing quite close by they were whispering excitedly together mr dursley was enraged to see that a couple of them weren't young at all why that man had to be older than he was and wearing an emerald green cloak the nerve of him but then it struck mr dursley that this was probably some silly stunt these people were obviously collecting for something yes that would be it the traffic moved on and a few minutes later mr dursley arrived in the groning's parking lot his mind back on drills mr dursley always sat with his back to the window in his office on the ninth floor if he hadn't he might have found it harder to concentrate on drills that morning he didn't see the owls swooping past in broad daylight though people down in the street did they pointed and gazed open mounted as our after-hours bred overhead most of them had never seen an owl even at night time mr dursley however had a perfectly normal hour-free morning he yelled at five different people he made several important telephone calls and shouted a bit more he was in a very good mood until lunchtime when he fought he'd stretch his legs and walk across the road to buy himself a bun from the bakery he'd forgotten all about the people in clothes until he passed a group of them next to the bakers he eyed them angrily as he passed he didn't know why but they made him uneasy this bunch were whispering excitedly too and he couldn't see a single collecting tin it was on his way back past them clutching a large donut in a bag that he caught a few words of what they were saying the potters that's right that's what i heard yes their son hurry mr dursley stopped that fear flooded him he looked back at the whisperers as if he wanted to say something to them but fought better of it he dodged back across the road hurried up to his office snapped at his secretary not to disturb him seized his telephone and had almost finished dialing his home number when he changed his mind he put the receiver back down and struck his mustache thinking no he was being stupid potter wasn't such an unusual name he was sure there were lots of people called potter who had a son called harry come to think of it he wasn't even sure his nephew was called harry he'd never even seen the boy it might have been harvey or harold there was no point in worrying mrs dursley she always got so upset at any mention of her sister he didn't blame her if he'd had a sister like that but all the same those people in cloaks he found it a lot harder to concentrate on drills that afternoon and when he left the building at five o'clock he was still so worried that he walked straight into someone just outside the door sorry he grunted as the tiny old man stumbled and almost fell it was a few seconds before mr dursley realized that the man was wearing a violet cloak he didn't seem at all upset at being almost knocked to the ground on the contrary his face split into a white smile and he said in a squeaky voice that made passersby stare don't be sorry my dear sir for nothing could upset me today rejoice for you know who has gone at last even muggles like yourself should be celebrating this happy happy day if the old man hugged mr dursley around the middle and walked off mr dirtly stood rooted to the spot he had been hacked by a complete stranger he also thought he had been called a muggle whatever that was he was rattled he hurried to his car and set off for home hoping he was imagining things which he could never hope before because he didn't approve of imagination as he pulled into the driveway of number four the first thing he saw and it didn't improve his mood was the tubby cat he'd spotted that morning it was now sitting on his garden wall he was sure it was the same one it had the same markings around its eyes shu said mysteriously loudly the cat didn't move it just gave him a stern look was this normal cut behavior mr dirty wondered trying to pull himself together he let himself into the house he was still determined not to mention anything to his wife mrs dursley had had a nice normal day she told him over dinner all about mrs next door's problems with her daughter and how dudley had learned a new word want mr dursley tried to act normally when dudley had been put to bed he went into the living room in time to catch the last report on the evening news and finally bird watchers everywhere have reported that the nation's owls have been behaving very unusually today although owls normally hunt at night and are hardly ever seen in daylight there have been hundreds of sightings of these birds flying in every direction since sunrise experts are unable to explain why the owls have suddenly changed their sleeping pattern the newscaster allowed himself a grin most mysterious and now over to jim mcguffin with the weather going to be any more showers of house tonight gym well dead said the weatherman i don't know about that but it's not only the owls that have been acting oddly today viewers as far apart as kent yorkshire and dundee have been phoning in to tell me that instead of the rain i promised yesterday they've had a downpour of shooting stars perhaps people have been celebrating bonfire night early it's not until next week folks but i can promise a wet night tonight mr dursley sat frozen in his armchair shooting stars all over britain house flying by daylight mysterious people in cloaks all over the place and a whisper a whisper about the putters mrs dursley came into the living room carrying two cups of tea it was no good he'd have to say something to her he cleared his throat nervously uh petunia dear you haven't heard from your sister lately have you as he had expected mrs dursley looked shocked and angry after all they normally pretended she didn't have a sister no she said sharply why funny stuff on the news mr thursday numbered owls shooting stars and there were a lot of funny looking people in town today so snapped mrs dursley well i just thought maybe it was something to do with you know her crowd mrs dursley sipped her teeth through pursed lips mr dursley wondered whether he dared to tell her he'd heard the name pata he decided he didn't dare instead he said as casually as he could their son hit about dudley's age now wouldn't he i suppose so said mrs dursley stiffly what's his name again howard isn't it harry nasty common name if you ask me oh yes said mr dursley his heart sinking horribly yes i quite agree he didn't say another word on the subject as they went upstairs to bed while mrs dursley was in the bathroom mr dursley crept to the bedroom window and peered down into the front garden the cat was still there it was staring down privet drive as though it were waiting for something was he imagining things could all this have anything to do with the potters if it did if it got out that they were related to a pair of well he didn't think he could bear it the dursleys got into bed mrs dursley fell asleep quickly but mr dursley lay awake turning it all over in his mind his last comforting thoughts before he fell asleep was that even if the potters were involved there was no reason for them to come near him and mrs dursley the potters knew very well what he and petunia thought about them and their kind he couldn't see how he and petunia could get mixed up in anything that might be going on he younged and turned over it couldn't affect them how very wrong he was mr jersey might have been drifting into an uneasy sleep but the cat on the wall outside was showing no sign of sleepness it was sitting as still as a statue its eyes fixed unblinkingly on the far corner of privet drive it didn't so much as quiver when a car door slammed on the next street gnar when the owls swooped overhead in fact it was nearly midnight before the cat moved at all a man appeared on the corner the cat had been watching appeared so suddenly and silently you'd have thought he just popped out of the ground the cat's tail twitched and his eyes narrowed nothing like this man had ever been seen on private drive he was so thin and very old judging by the silver of his hair and beard which were both long enough to tuck into his belt he was wearing long ropes a purple cloak that swept to the ground and high heeled buckled boots his blue eyes were light bright and sparkling behind half moon spectacles and his nose was very long and crooked as though it had been broken at least twice this man's name was albus dumbledore albus dumbledore didn't seem to realize that he had just arrived in a street where everything from his name to his boots was unwelcome he was busy rummaging in his cloak looking for something but he did seem to realize he was being watched because he looked up suddenly at the cat which was still staring at him from the other end of the street for some reason the side of the cat seemed to amuse him he chuckled and muttered i should have known he found what he was looking for in his inside pocket it seemed to be a silver cigarette lighter he flicked it open held it up in the air and clicked it the nearest street lamp went out with a little pop he clicked it again the next lamp flickered into darkness twelve times he clicked the put outer until the only lights left on the whole street were two tiny pin bricks in the distance which were the eyes of the cat watching him if anyone looked out of their window now even beady-eyed mrs dursley they wouldn't be able to see anything that was happening down on the pavement dumbledore slipped and put outer back inside his cloak and set off down the street toward number 4 where he sat down on the wall next to the cat he didn't look at it but after a moment he spoke to it fancy seeing you here professor mcgonagall he turned to smile at the tabby but it had gone instead he was smiling at a rather severe looking woman who was wearing square glasses exactly the shape of the markings the cat had had around its eyes she too was wearing a cloak an emerald one her black hair was drawn in a tight bun she looked distinctly ruffled how did you know it was me she asked my dear professor i've never seen a cat sit so stiffly you'd be stiff if you'd been sitting on a brick wall all day said professor mcgonagall all day when you could have been celebrating i must have passed a dozen feasts and parties on my way here professor mcgonagall sniffed angrily oh yes i'm celebrating all right she said impatiently you think they'd be a bit more careful but no even the muggles have noticed something's going on it was under news she jerked her head back at the dursley's dark living room window i heard it flocks of hollows shooting stars well they're not completely stupid they were bound to notice something shooting stars down in kent i'll bet that was daedalus diggle he never had much sense you can't blame them said dumbledore gently we've had precious little to celebrate for 11 years i know that said professor mcgonagall irritably but that's no reason to lose our heads people were being downright careless out on the streets in broad daylight not even dressed in muggle clothes swapping rumors she threw sharp sideways glanced at dumbledore here as though hoping he was going to tell her something but he didn't so she went on a fine thing it would be if on the very day you know who seems to have disappeared at last the mughals found out about us all i suppose he really has gone to it certainly seems so said dumbledore we have much to be thankful for would you care for a lemon drop a what a lemon drop they're a kind of muggle sweet i'm rather fond of no thank you said professor mcconnell coldly as though she didn't think this was the moment for lemon jobs as i say even if you know who has gone my dear professor surely a sensible person like yourself can call him by his name otis you know who nonsense for 11 years i have been trying to persuade people to call him by his proper name voldemort professor mcgonagall flinched but dumbledore who was unsticking two lemon drops seemed not to notice it all gets so confusing if we keep saying you know who i have never seen any reason to be frightened of saying voldemort's name i know you haven't said professor mcgonagall sounding half exasperated half admiring but you're different everyone knows you're the only one you know oh all right voldemort was frightened of you flatter me said dumbledore calmly vodamod had powers i will never have only because you're too well noble to use them it's lucky it's dark i haven't blushed so much since madame pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs professor mcgonagall shot a sharp look at dumbledore and said the owls are nothing next to the rumors that are flying around you know what they're saying about why he's disappeared about what finally stopped him it seemed that professor mcgonagall had reached the point she was most anxious to discuss the real reason she had been waiting on a cold hard wall all day for neither as a cat nor as a woman had she fixed dumbledore with such a piercing stare as she did now it was plain that whatever everyone was saying she was not going to believe until the lord told her it was true tom budar however was choosing another lemon job and did not answer what they're saying she pressed on is that last night vodamod turned up in godric's hallow he went to find the putters the rumor is that lily and james potter are are that they're that dumbledore bowed his head professor mcgonagall gasped lillian james i can't believe it i didn't want to believe it oh albus the budo reached out and patted her on the shoulder know i know he said heavily professor mcgonagall's voice trembled as she went on that's not all they're saying he tried to kill the potter's son harry but he couldn't he couldn't kill that little boy no one knows why or how but they're saying that when he couldn't kill harry potter voldemort's power somehow broke and that's why he's gone the buddha nodded glumly it's it's true faltered professor mcgonagall after all he's done all the people he's killed he couldn't kill a little boy it's just astounding of all the things to stop him but how in the name of heaven did harry survive we can only guess said dambudo we may never know professor mcgonagall pulled out a lace handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes beneath her spectacles dumbledore gave a great sniff as he took a golden watch from his pocket and examined it it was a very odd watch it had 12 hands but no numbers instead little planets were moving around the edge it must have made sense to dumbledore though because he put it back in his pocket and said hagrid slade i suppose it was he who told you i'd be here by the way yes said professor mcgonagall and i don't suppose you're going to tell me why you're here of all places i've come to bring harry to his aunt and uncle they are the only family he has left now you don't mean you can't mean the people who live here cried professor mcgonagall jumping to her feet and pointing at number four dumbo you can't i've been watching them all day you couldn't find two people who are less like us and they've got this son i saw him kicking his mother all the way up the street screaming for sweets harry potter come and live here it's the best place for him said the poodle firmly his aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he's older i've written them a letter a letter repeated professor mcgonagall faintly sitting back down on the wall really dumbledore you think you can explain all this in a letter these people will never understand him he'll be famous a legend i wouldn't be surprised if today was known as harry potter day in the future there will be books written about harry every child in our world will know his name exactly said dumbledore looking very seriously over the top of his half million glasses it would be enough to turn any boy's head famous before he can walk and talk famous for something he won't even remember can you see how much better off he'll be throwing up away from all that until he's ready to take it professor mcgonagall opened her mouth changed her mind swallowed and then said yes yes you're right of course but how is the boy getting here dumbledore she eyed his cloak suddenly as though she thought he might be hiding hurry underneath it hagrid's bringing him you think it wise to trust hagrid with something as important as this i would trust hagrid with my life said dumbledore i'm not saying his heart isn't in the right place said professor mcgonagall grudgingly but you can't pretend he's not careless he does tend to what was that a low rumbling sound had broken the silence around them it grew steadily louder as they looked up and down the street for some sign of a headlight it swelled to a roar as they both looked up at the sky and a huge motorcycle fell out of the air and landed on the road in front of them if the motorcycle was huge it was nothing to the man sitting astrided he was almost twice as stow as a normal man and at least five times as wide he looked simply too big to be allowed and so wild long tangos of bushy black hair and beard hit most of his face he had hands the size of trash can lids and his feet in their leather boots were like baby dolphins on his vast muscular arms he was holding a bundle of blankets hagrid said the poodle sounding relieved at last and where did you get that motorcycle borrowed it professor dombudosa said the giant climbing carefully of the motorcycle as he spoke young serious black lent it to me i've got him sir no problems were there no sir house was almost destroyed but i got him out all right before the model started swarming around he fell asleep as we was flying over bristol tombouto and professor mcgonagall bent forward over the bundle of blankets inside just visible was a baby boy fast asleep under a tuft of jet black hair over his forehead they could see a curiously shaped cut like a boat of lightning is that where whispered professor mcgonagall yes said dumbledore he'll have that scar forever couldn't you do something about it dumbledore even if i could i wouldn't scars can come in handy i have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the london underground well give him here hagrid we'd better get this over with the budo took harry in his arms and turned toward turley's house could i could i say goodbye to him sir asked hagrid he bent his great shaggy head over harry and gave him what must have been a very scratchy whiskery kiss then suddenly harvard let out a howl like i wanted to talk shh hissed professor mcgonagall you wake the muggles sorry stopped hagrid taking out a large spotted handkerchief and burying his face in it but i can't stand it lillian james dead and poor little harry often live with muggles yes yes it's all very sad but get a grip on yourself hagrid or will be found professor mcgonagall whispered patting hagrid gingerly on the arm as the buddha stepped over the low garden wall and walked to the front door he laid hurry gently on the doorstep took a letter out of his cloak tucked it inside harry's blankets and then came back to the other two for a full minute the three of them stood and looked at the little bundle hogwarts shoulders shook professor mcgonagall blinked furiously and the twinking light that usually shone from dumbledore's eyes seemed to have gone out well said tamputo finally that's that with no business staying here we may as well go into enjoying the celebrations yeah said hagrid in a very muffed voice i'll be taking serious his bike back good night professor mcgonagall professor dumbledore saw his streaming eyes on his jacket sleeve hagrid swung himself onto the motorcycle and kicked the engine into life with a roar it rose into the air and off into the night i shall see you soon i expect professor mcgonagall said dumbledore nodding to her professor mcgonagall blew her nose in reply dumbledore turned and walked back down the street on the corner he stopped and took out the silver put outer he clicked it once and 12 balls of light sped back to their street lamps so that privet drive glowed suddenly orange and he could make out a tubby cut slinking around the corner at the other end of the street he could just see the bundle of blankets on the step of number four good luck harry he murmured he turned on his heel and with a switch of his cloak he was gone a breeze ruffled the neat edges of privet drive which lays silent and tidy under the inky sky the very last place you would expect astonishing things to happen harry potter rode over inside his blankets without waking up one small hand closed on the ladder beside him and he slept on not knowing he was special not knowing he was famous not knowing he would be walking in a few hours time by mrs dirtly scream as she opened the front door to put out the milk bottles nor that he would spend the next few weeks being prodded and pinched by his cousin dudley he couldn't know that at this very moment people meeting in secret all over the country were holding up their glasses and saying in hushed voices to harry potter the boy who lived