I'm gonna get up after one more video oh what time is it you can't believe I wasted all that time what should I do today just one more video I really should get this laundry done damn it I've been sitting here for like an hour so maybe you've heard people say or you just don't want to do things or why do you spend 10 hours on your phone you want to watch Netflix for so long why don't you go to bed at a reasonable time why don't you do your laundry why don't you do X Y and Z you might have even had those feelings about yourself so if you're watching that earlier and you're like yeah ask me let's unpack the freeze response AKA hypo arousal welcome or welcome back friends if you're new here my name is Simone Saunders and I'm a licensed therapist and social worker in Calgary Alberta this page is all about lifestyle mental health and wellness don't forget to like comment subscribe and let's get into it whenever we think of emotionless regulation or nervous system dysregulation we always think of these big emotional responses we can panic attacks anger outbursts anxiety crying breakdowns what we don't think about is the opposite when you're just numb or you're Frozen let's all get on the same page and let's talk about the nervous system and the Brain the best metaphor that I like to use for the brain and the amygdala in specific is a smoke detector so our amygdala is kind of like our emotion Center up and the way that it functions is similar to a smoke detector so if you're gonna go make a snack you're gonna go make a grilled cheese and you burn the grilled cheese that smoke detector is going off if you burn your house down that smell detector is also going on that's similar to our amygdala in the sense that our Mandela doesn't really know the difference between real and perceived Danger so our amygdala is going to go off regardless and send us into an automatic response just in case that we can stay safe so what happens when our amygdala is turned on the smoke detector of our brain is our prefrontal cortex turns off our prefrontal cortex is our logic our understanding our ability to think things through it holds our coping tools allows us to essentially just make logical decisions and you're probably like okay that feels a little bit counter-intuitive why would your logical brain shut off the reason why is because it's actually counterproductive to pathological brain on in a moment of imminent danger so your body needs to make a split decision about okay how am I going to survive this situation rather than taking the time to logically think things for example if a bear were to come through this office right now and I were to be able to think okay can I fight this bear do I have enough stamina to outrun the bear I mean should I play dead would that be the best option I would be already so the way that the amygdala functions is actually really really important sometimes it causes us trouble because our smoke detector goes off when we're literally just making soup and it's a lot of steam there's no fire no burnt toast there's no burnt grilled cheese just a costume so the automatic responses that they make those sort of send us into is fight flight freeze and fawn so in order to explain these I like to use the window so the window of Tolerance in the middle is a state where we're not necessarily calm we're just emotionally regulated so that means that our prefrontal cortex is turned on and we can just deal with life's challenges so the stressors that come at us frustrations sadness life events big feelings we can handle those things and we can regulate ourselves we can ask for help we can logically think things through when we get outside of our window of Tolerance which is the red or the Blue Zone that's when we can't handle it and that's when that smoke detector is turned right on something important to note here is that you personally don't decide what you can or can't handle your nervous system decides that for you so if your nervous system decides I cannot handle having this tough conversation with my boss you will be in hyper arousal or hypo arousal hyper arousal the red zone is more consistent with your more emotionally activated States so your fight or flight response so that could look like anxiety or panic attacks addiction anger outbursts impulsivity whereas hypoarousal the Blue zone is kind of the opposite that's your freeze and fawn response Fawn is always a question I get asked and fawn is more so of the people-pleasing sort of acquiescing to whatever people want that's that response or the phrase response is sort of you're numbed out you might feel dissociative you might feel really really really tired or lethargic might feel unmotivated unable to do things that's the first response and that's where we're going to be spending a lot more time today a good way that I like to describe the freeze response is kind of like trying to walk through if you're trying to get to a checkpoint at the end maybe meters and meters away you can think to yourself okay I should be running faster I should be walking faster I should be taking bigger steps in order to get to the destination consistency of the mud doesn't really allow for you to go any faster than you currently are so if you think about when you're doing scrolling I as well as many others have had the thoughts of okay just two more videos just one more video I need to go to bed et cetera et cetera Etc but when it comes to actually doing that putting the phone away that's when it becomes difficult because we're stuck in the mud so your nervous system is just as much dysregulated in the freeze response as in the fight or flight response so what happens when we've been through a lot of hardship things that are really difficult for us is our window of Tolerance shrinks and what that means is our ability to handle different levels of discomfort different levels of emotional activation becomes really small and so things that feel small might bring us out of our window so the meeting with your boss that might feel small to someone else but that maybe brings you out of your window because you perhaps have a smaller window of Tolerance and maybe that's because of the experiences that you've gone through the goal of awareness and understanding is widening that window so that you can experience a little bit more emotional activation a little bit more discomfort without your nervous system feeling completely something I've noticed a lot in my work with people is that we're really unaware of the things that activate that in ourselves so we might feel like oh this just happens all the time this is just my every night and it's important for us to get curious about okay what happens every night to where my nervous system is it's not safe to just be with myself when we start to kind of get curious about the environments that we're in the people that we talk to and how that impacts our nervous system it can give us a lot of information about what dysregulates us and I think a lot of times we try and use a framework of shame in order to sort of fix ourselves so why don't you do X Y and Z why are you so lazy why don't you have enough motivation why don't you have enough determination you should be farther in life Etc et cetera et cetera but the thing about shame is that it kind of perpetuates the cycle that's currently happening already it might change things for a little bit but eventually your nervous system is really tired of just being very overactive and goes back to the freeze response and so I use the word curiosity intentionally because Curiosity has sort of a shame-free lens it allows us to understand what's happening with the sole intent of just gathering information so if X Y and Z is something that is really impactful for your nervous system whether or not it feels silly stupid objectively small whatever the case none of that really matters it's generation that we're looking for so what can I do to widen my window of Tolerance how can I get to a space where I am not just Doom scrolling all the time where I'm not on Netflix all the time or I'm not sitting in my room just daydreaming all of the time number one is to get curious get curious about what's happening in your day-to-day life when do you feel the most numb what do you feel the most Frozen when do you feel the most called to engage in these behaviors like Doom scrolling like Netflix like sitting there and daydreaming number two is that with hypoarousal the Blue Zone the freeze response in order to get out of that zone we need more activation whereas the Red Zone hyper arousal we need less activation so if you notice that you a big wave of exhaustion comes over you it could be that your body is physically tired and maybe you just need some sleep it could all cut also your nervous system feeling really dysregulated so I always encourage experiment with going for a walk going and doing something physical whether that's just stretching moving your body in some capacity and see what see what you might find that you feel the exact same afterwards you might find that the exhaustion Has Lifted and so experimenting with these things can help you understand okay if my exhaustion is lifted as a result of body movement as a result of more activation then the probability of your nervous system being dysregulated during that moment where you're feeling really lethargic and tired is fairly High other things that can be helpful outside of movement is I always recommend having sour candies on hand now this will kind of shock your nervous system to being in a present state so if you're scrolling on social media you're Doom scrolling and it's really difficult for you to get out of that state keep a pack of sour candies by your bedside pop one of those things in and it will give you a bit of a jolt of awareness of your entire body and what's happening and that might give you the ability to close that Gap put down your phone and do whatever it is that you've been trying to do for the past the last suggestion other than getting to the root root causing that dysregulation is calling it out when you are doom scrolling when you are sitting there daydreaming and you're able to say okay right now my body's in the freeze response right now I'm in hypo arousal that in itself can allow your body to gain the awareness of oh I actually don't feel safe right now and in understanding that and being aware of that it sometimes gives you the ability to initiate action if you have any questions comments or thoughts feel free to leave them down below don't forget to like comment and subscribe and will see you guys in the next video