Key Lessons from 'Getting to Yes'

Founders & Book

• William Ury and Roger Fisher: Founders of the Harvard Negotiation Project
• Book: Getting to Yes

Main Concept

• Negotiation is not about splitting things 50/50 or winning vs. losing.
• It's about finding solutions that leave both sides happy without damaging relationships.

Examples Illustrating Effective Negotiation

1. Library Window: One wants it open for fresh air, the other closed to avoid wind. Solution: Open a window in another room.
2. Cake Division: One cuts the cake, the other chooses first to ensure fairness.
3. Kids & Orange: One eats the fruit, the other uses the peel. Asking why they want it could give each 100% of what they want instead of 50%.

Four-Step Framework for Negotiation

1. Focus on Interests, Not Positions

• Positions are clear but limited; interests are underlying needs and reasons.
• Ask why they want what they want.
• Communicate openly about interests.

2. Use Fair Standards

• Use objective criteria (e.g., market prices, legal requirements) to resolve conflicts.
• Examples: Cake cutting method, house construction standards.

3. Invent Options for Mutual Gain

• Brainstorm freely without judgment.
• Turn differences into creative solutions.

4. Separate People from the Problem

• Be soft on the person but hard on the problem.
• Build relationships before negotiations.
• Understand and manage personal perceptions and emotions.

Handling Difficult Situations

Dirty Tactics

• Recognize and mention tactics directly to neutralize them.

Imbalance of Power

• Develop your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement).
• Power lies in the ability to walk away.

Personal Attacks

• Use negotiation jujitsu: sidestep attacks, invite criticism, ask for advice.

Concluding Story

• 1964: Father and son playing frisbee in London. Bystander asks, "Who's winning?"
• In negotiations, focusing on winning misses the point—collaboration and mutual satisfaction are key.

Final Thoughts

• Effective negotiation seeks to work together for mutually beneficial solutions.