whoa whoa whoa i can't believe you already buried me in likes and subscribes before this video has even started thanks for supporting the garden of english if you're here it's for one of three reasons you need help producing commentary especially for your rhetorical analysis essay you were directed to this playlist because of the garden of english's ap lang ultimate review packet or both of the above now you may be asking what the nonsense is an ultimate review packet it's an exclusive video series that i've created to help you review for your ap english exam it includes exclusive videos and note guides that explore all nine units of the course and exam description provides you with practice multiple choice for each unit offers practice exam opportunities and gives you resources to self-assess it also pairs with the writing instruction that's free in my youtube videos if you're interested in knowing more you can actually click on the ultimate review packet link right in the description below this video okay no matter who i work with whether it's student or teachers i'm consistently asked about helping improve commentary for ap lane question 2 which is the rhetorical analysis essay we've already broken down a prompt read and annotated a piece created a thesis written topic sentences and integrated evidence and all these videos that i just mentioned are labeled and linked in the description as well so you can check them out there but today i'm going to give you a commentary toolbox to help assist you in completing the hardest task in writing by the time we're done you'll have some new strategies to try to maintain continuity with my other videos this one will provide examples in response to the 2015 ap lane question 2 which includes the excerpt by cesar chavez of course this prompt is linked right in the description what's about to show up on your screen will be the thesis statement i'm relying on to produce my work it comes from an earlier video from this thesis we're going to continue writing body paragraph one that matches the choice that's listed as exemplifying a civil rights icon i'm about to bring up the topic sentence and integrated evidence to remind you of how the first body paragraph would start okay in order to finish this paragraph by providing commentary we're going to have to explain how our evidence proves the claim in our topic sentence and relates to what's said in the thesis so in this specific case this means that as we provide our commentary we'll need to explain how the language in our quote proves the power of non-violence the audience will be willing to embrace pacifist protest easy right some of you may be thinking easier said than done but let me start with giving you my first tip to provide commentary for rhetorical analysis i want you to remember five basic words and phrases that could put you on the right path and you'll want to remember them in this order because since thus if furthermore and ultimately moving the audience too if you write five sentences of commentary and each sentence includes these words and phrases in this order you will get better i promise this is because these words and phrases will automatically force you to explain how you think when you provide commentary you want to articulate the assumptions stereotypes and connotations that you know of that relate to the words that you see in the text and the author's message and purpose you need to realize that your commentary needs to explain how your examples prove the claims of your topic sentence and thesis so this means that you need to pinpoint exactly what words and your textual evidence relate to those ideas so before we write our commentary let's pick out the specific language in our textual evidence that directly correlates with proving non-violence is powerful and then moves people to embrace non-violence we'll want to highlight words like dr king example power of non-violence and in the real world the reason why doing this is so important is because if this is the language that we're going to provide commentary on these words and phrases that we picked out or synonyms of them will have to show up again in our commentary because we're connecting these words and phrases to non-violent action this idea will also have to be repeated throughout the commentary even though we're going to be repeating words and ideas as we write our explanations will make it so that our commentary doesn't sound repetitive based on the five words and phrases that i mentioned before i have to have the word because in my first sentence of commentary so what i'm going to do is refer to dr king and connect him to the power of non-violence and put the word because in this first line it will look like this acknowledging king showcases the power of non-violence because most americans at the time have heard of the pacifistic civil rights demonstrations he led throughout the country that were consistently capable of producing legislative change notice how the word because in the middle of the sentence makes me finish it and when i finish the sentence i mention an assumption that most people would know of the change that he brought through peaceful demonstrations but this commentary isn't complete because it doesn't explain how the recognition of successful demonstrations moves to action this only hints at the power of those peaceful demonstrations so we'll have to continue i'm going to start my next sentence with the word since and then follow this word with another assumption my second sentence of commentary would read as follows since people prefer to embrace tactics that are known to work rather than toyo and futility onlookers would be drawn to consider what made king so successful in the real world non-violence you can tell i'm communicating my inferential assumptions because i say things like most americans would and people prefer these are generalized statements notice how i also refer to the real world success that's tied to non-violence so until now i've commented on most of the language that i needed from the quote but i'm not going to stop there i'm going to start the next sentence with the phrase thus if to create a logical correlation of the success of non-violence with the language in the action of the people so my next sentence of commentary would read like this thus if dr king was able to bring forth such gains and civil rights by embracing pacifism it would only make sense for the audience to do it as well now i'm communicating how seeing king's success through non-violence would make the people think non-violence would work for them too but there's more to king his name carries connotations that would be like emotional weight and we need to mention this too so now i'm going to start my next sentence with the word furthermore and it will read like this furthermore in assuming that the audience most likely has a deep respect for king referring to him allow chavez to tie the positive emotions that are linked to this american icon with his stance on encouraging the use of civil disobedience in this case i mentioned an assumption about the respect the audience would have for king and i mentioned the positivity tied to his name and i tie that positivity of his name to his cause civil disobedience that's peaceful now the commentary we've completed is good but it's still not done we connected the evidence to the power of non-violence but we need to connect all this to moving the audience as mentioned in the thesis so i'm going to start my last sentence with understanding all this would move the audience to or some variation of that so here's what it would look like understanding all this would move the farm workers and their allies to embrace non-violent protests due to the fact that individuals are drawn towards positive emotions and positive outcomes so once they find non-violent protests practical and positive they will be more likely to embrace the tactic and here you'll see that i put the phrase due to the fact that this phrase can be easily substituted with the word because and it would actually mean the same thing i just didn't want to be overly repetitive with my word because in this particular sentence notice that i again reference assumptions with the words individuals i discuss connotations when i mention positive emotions and outcomes and i tie it to acting non-violently if you look in my commentary look at how much i talk about non-violence in some way or another whether i use synonyms or actually use the phrase look at how often i reference words that showed up in my textual evidence in that quote i chose from the piece look at how often i bring up assumptions and connotations these are all the things that you need to do when you provide commentary in any rhetorical analysis essay you write if you follow the five steps i've made here you'll be forced to do something similar now this does take practice but it gets easier and easier every time you try it let's take a peek at what our final body paragraph would look like in full it's going to show right up on your screen now that's a good paragraph you would want to make the rest of your body paragraphs look just like this if you found this video helpful you'll want to click that like subscribe to the goe and check out what's over here so you can find out how to write the best rhetorical analysis conclusions ever