There are roughly 4,200 religions in the world today Not to mention another 41,000 denominations of Christianity alone This makes it kind of difficult to narrow down the belief system that's right for you If you're a slightly wayward hipster who has a wry sense of humor You might want to consider Pastafarianism Not to be confused with the Rastafarians, who are also a peaceful bunch The Pastafarians have an intricate belief system surrounding their God Who just happens to be a flying spaghetti monster Yes their supreme creator is literally a flying cluster of tangled noodles with meatball eyes Flying spaghetti monster made the whole universe and all its components in only 4 days All the while, drinking intensely He also made pirates the chosen ones because they live such a badass lifestyle Pastafarians enjoy the same privileges of other devout religious folk who follow the rules They too will ascend to heaven after their life here on Earth Their paradise is a wild land with lager volcanoes and many strippers The individuals who disregard and spurn the flying spaghetti monster go to hell The overall consensus of hell is that similarly to heaven It also has a beer fountain and strippers The distinction being that the lager is warm and stale The strippers have STDs And there are penguins all over... Pastafarians recognize Occasion around the time that most people celebrate Christmas Occasion lasts for the entire holiday season And since Pastafarians reject creed and formalism there are no particular prerequisites for a holiday Pastafarians celebrate a holiday in any way they please Pastafarians follow the 8 "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" to conduct morally responsible lives Perhaps the most profound being: I'd really rather you didn't build multi million dollar churches / temples / mosques / shrines to my noodley goodness When the money could be better spent ending poverty, curing diseases, living in peace, loving with passion and lowering the cost of cable R'amen to that Splat