Welcome back to AM Northwest our first
guest is here to show us how to get people to tell us more or even confess
this is like a dream come true for parents property welcome back the author
of human lie detection and body language 101 Vanessa Van Edwards it's good to see
you having me and I mean that yes okay I confess it yeah I know
speaking of confession last night Diane Sawyer had a one-on-one with Amanda Knox
and I think we're all familiar with that story and the question is did she do it
now you're the person who might know the answer let's look at some some clips
from Amanda's interview with Diane Sawyer and you tell us if you think
being honest here did you kill Meredith Kercher no were
you there that night no do you know anything you have not told police that
you have not said in this book do you know anything you know I don't all right
what are you take away from that so I never like to say someone's lying I
always like to baseline them first which is the first step but some huge red
flags go up in this video first she said right before she said no to the second
question she went no right when you go like this usually it's an honorable cue
of yes or no it was very odd that she was saying no but she went no that's
very odd she also raised her eyebrows like this mm-hmm
which is usually indicator of surprise so that's not necessarily a bad thing
but I think she was surprised at that question and when she her instinct was
to say yes did you guys have big red flags here you go were you here on this
night no there you go there's that nod yes which is very odd and then she
swallows after before answer next question which is a sign of intense
nervousness so if you look at that video closely she swallows right before that
last of is there anything else did she tell the police she swallows which is
intense nervousness so I think there might be something that she's hiding
there they said any of that be as a result of being interviewed by Diane
Sawyer and the cameras on you yes and that's that's the importance of
baselining which if you're gonna do lie detection if you're gonna really do it
you have to know the first step which is looking at someone when they're not
nervous right right so I don't know if their nerves are lies but they're
definitely red flags that that not yet that could that nod they'll be because
because I've seen it when we talk to people we ask them a question and when
they comprehend the question they think they often not and then making the
answer right which was weird about it that would have made sense if she nodded
and said no but she actually said no and then nodded
oh you're odd so again red flags to dig a little bit deeper right was I am sorry
I would have I would have founded that that question a little bit harder by I
understand that you know live television you never know with you the other one to
very quickly on is there anything that you're not telling the police that
that's kind of a tough one because like well like I don't know if there's you
know I think I'd roll them everything right right that that big swallow that
she did I think that there's there's some intense nerves there I think she
might also been really coached on that question where they say you know what
it's gonna be easier if you just say no that it is to explain it so it might
have been bad it should be more indignation no I I did not I mean she
was very stiff during the few parts the interview that I watched I'm gonna do a
full debrief of it later today but she was very very stiff and that I think
that she was in she was coached and she had rehearsed answers that's what a lot
of her answer is she she didn't stutter she didn't sort of add emphasis I think
she had memorized a lot of them that makes now let's get on to dragging
confessions up right yeah it was how would you can use this talent if you're
a parent and you think your teen might be lying right so you can use as a
parent with your real estate agent with your lawyer or your friends I mean
spouse is everybody all workers yeah anything you want to do a little deeper
one of the first tips you have you say don't fill in the void or the silence
yes so this is really important for women right because we like to sort of
fill in the gap if you're a mom and you're talking your teenager and they
finish their sentence wait two beats in your head one two that extra silence if
someone's holding something back that makes them incredibly nervous and
they'll usually fill it and start to spill give me an example so um you know
I I heard that there was a cheating incident at school are you involved in
that you know any of your friends who did it oh no mom I didn't see anything
well I didn't really see any all right dad that happens if you're hiding
something it makes you want to fill it if you're telling the truth you don't
usually want to fill it that's a good luck to have invade their personal okay
yeah right you want to if you want to play cop this is the way to do it you
always notice a cop shows they'll scoot their chair close really close right and
so if this is because it actually invades
someone's space so they reset and they go oh they are they're on to me
someone's lying they often feel like you're on to them so you can either step
towards someone this is great for like a real estate agent you know you say so
let me get this right right you actually are invading their space and they'll go
okay they're onto me I should probably tell them about that leaky that leaky
air conditioner in the back right you can lean in order step four and you cops
do both that the wait for silence and the lean into questioning that's really
impatient um nod your head okay so nodding as I said earlier the universal
sign of agreement when people nod they speak three to four times more so if if
you're talking to your spouse for example and you want to know about sort
of this new new person at work tell me a little more about them and they finish
talking you can say 1 2 3 it's a 3 kusik section quick nod yeah people will speak
3 or 4 times more when they see you nodding oh because I think you're really
listening and agreeing with its engagement right so that's a really
great way if especially if you have a reticent teenager who holds back a lot
if you want to get them to speak more 1 2 3
it shows I'm listening I'm engaged and I expect you to keep talking it's a way of
expected yeah what would be the opposite of that that you that you you don't
believe him or you're doubtful of their story I nod no or the lean back lean
back is the disengagement I'm not buying it if you want to lead in
right but if you're like I'm done with this like if you want to show real
estate agent you ters not taking that price yeah right that's an honorable way
to say can you give me a better offer hey hey very good um changed the telling
I described this so that's been really good for Amanda Knox I'm sure her
interviewers did this with her if someone has a story that they're trying
to convince you on they've usually memorized that story so you can ask them
to tell it differently ask them to tell it backwards ask them to start in the
middle I'm asked them to tell from a different person's point of view for
people who are lying it's very hard for them to do that because they haven't
rehearsed that if you're telling the truth of course you can tell it
backwards because we actually did it so if you're trying to get someone to tell
you about a party last night or a meeting so if your kid comes on visit so
where did you guys end up last night perfect worry before that and they
rehearsed it's they go well we went to the diner and then we drove with Sarah
and then I went to Billy's house yeah but if you said where we where did you
Doug right then where were you before that
right we weren't you yet you make them certain places oh so before Billy's what
you do um I went to Sarah's right and or an honest person would be like oh yeah I
went to Sarah's right so it's right you can see those gaps in that they haven't
memorized it the other way how could anybody in your family we have a very
honest relationship and television okay so right so yes so um a lot of
times liars they don't want to admit the wrong things so if you suspect someone
of doing something wrong you can actually say like for example let's say
you worry that your child stole something from your wallet you can say
you know I think you gotta tell me the truth did you take any money and a
credit card from my wallet well if you don't have a credit card missing they of
course didn't take the credit card they're more likely to correct you on
the worst part because I don't want you think they took a credit card and then
they admit oh no I didn't take a credit card right I took your money well I
didn't see a credit card yeah and you're like oh but what about the money right
so telling the worst version Liars they want to protect what they didn't do so
that's a really easy thing you say minimize the significance
another classic cop move is to say you know what it would be I would totally
understand if you need that extra money prom is coming up it's 5% more um you
know I I would totally get it would be no big deal if you took it just just
tell me so minimizing sort of the in empathizing with them can make them feel
like oh I can tell them cuz it's not a big deal so that's a the last resort if
you are like I want of course there's no I want a circle around and you know
ground them for the rest of the night report my comment on your end and then
the book again is human law detection and bio 101 oh man oh man it's good all
right thanks so much thank you