Transcript for:
The Complex Saga of Chris Chan

Chris Chan is often called the most documented person on the internet from an extensive Wiki to thousands of YouTube videos millions of onlookers who have jumped on to observe the story it's hard to name someone more synonymous with modern internet culture and even with Chris being a subject of forum talk for more than a decade at this point it seems like people are hardly losing interest so today we'll try to cover the entire story of everyone's favorite or least favorite internet celebrity Chris Chan's story starts and ends with women and with one in particular his mother her allegedly abusive parenting being why he became the most documented individual in the world and it was on account of his unspeakable acts toward her that he was suddenly pulled out of the public eye and into a jail cell seeing as he was just released from that jail cell everyone's worried about what's next for Chris it's natural to think history will repeat itself but many still don't know the full extent of that history a history which spans over 40 years with its groundwork being laid even prior to that it all started in the year of Our Lord 1980 when a 53-year-old bob Chandler and 39-year-old Barbara Weston got married Barb was involved with a few other men before Rob such as a man named Ron Coleman ye senior who she had a child with by the name of Cole Barb however disputes this and claims to have never been involved with ran but with a man named Jack Smithy with whom she supposedly had a fancy wedding Cole grew dubious of his mother's claims about who his father was and decided to hire private investigators to settle the matter in emails he eventually exchanged about the pursuit of the identity of his father Cole said it seems likely since Ran's middle name is Coleman that this man is my biological father however Barbara never spoke of this marriage I would never have known about it had I not made a special trip to Richmond to get copies of all of her marriage certificates can you imagine having an essential part of your personal family history shrouded in mystery for 44 years because the one person who could clear the air insist on lying to you Barbara hung up the phone in my face when I asked her about these Revelations needless to say I really don't give a [ __ ] about Barbara or about her [ __ ] lies in 1966 when Cole was 3 years old Barbara began a relationship with a man named Jerry Harmon Jr who would become Cole's stepfather another Finding of Cole's investigations was that barb never actually married Jerry despite her claims of having doneo a trend of dishonesty was forming in an email about the domestic situation during this time Cole said Barbara is mistaken about the bunch of good years we supposedly had together I grew up in an abusive household with Barbara and my former stepfather Jerry where physical and mental punishments ran the gamut from bare beatings to cold showers to bizarre scenarios acted out with Glee by two deeply neurotic adults the treatment I received in Richmond Virginia was another matter altogether to raise a child in such conditions is inexcusable even at a very young age I knew they would abandon me they were both irresponsible and incompetent parents who exposed me to traumas that I would rather not remember as for Barbara professing her love for me I have not seen any evidence of it in close to 20 years and that's a very long time Barbara's definition of Love is a hackneyed sentimental term she uses to extract a response at some point in the early 1970s Barbara nearly killed Cole when attempting to scare off a wouldbe robber a burglar tried to break in when my dad was out cheating on my mom we had a steel front door some dirt bag was making no bones about trying to break down our front door Richmond was the capital of America at the time my mother Barbara left the living room for the adjacent bedroom where said pistol sat waiting she returned with a fully loaded gun I Stood Beside her about 10 ft from the door where the wbe thief was still loudly at work trying to break down the front door my mother pulled back the hammer attempting to [ __ ] it but she didn't pull it back far enough for it to lock blam the gun fired the bullet Hit the Floor ricocheted onto the steel door then onto the ceiling before lodging in the plaster wall less than a foot to the left of my head the wouldbe thief was scared off so mission accomplished there but I could have easily died in 1978 Barbara and Jerry separated and not long after Cole moved to California presumably to get as far away as possible from his dysfunctional mother despite being directly connected to the endless Odyssey of chrsty as this often called Cole is a relatively normal person after they both separated from their respective spouses and married one another Bob and Barb didn't see their Advanced ages as a reason to avoid conceiving a child whether this was due to their lack of knowledge of the risks carelessness or a mixture of both is anyone's guess by 1981 Barb was pregnant and on February 24th 1982 a child was born that would change the world forever Christopher Weston Chandler unfortunately whatever bad parenting techniques were present when Barbara was Raising Cole were at least as bad if not worse when it came to raising Chris by 1983 probably due to her lack of interest in raising Chris herself Barbara hired a babysitter that would end up abusing 1 and a half-year-old Chris by locking him in a closet later on he would claim that this led to him having autism although that claim is doubted this situation caused him to become non-verbal only occasionally screeching and crying which made him very difficult to deal with for his parents by 1985 Chris met the first person besides his parents whom he recalls as a friend Sarah Nicole Hammer according to what he himself says in his Wikipedia autobiography which yes exists Sarah brought him out of his autistic shell and helped him become more social though she did every once in a while take advantage of Chris's less than Advantage intellect by doing things like locking him in a house's crawl space or trying to get him to put a honeysuckle in his mouth but apart from that Sarah was actually nice to him they played hideand-seek rode swing sets and even roller skated this was one of the very few times Chris got to be a regular child a couple of years later Chris began kindergarten and Bob retired from his job in fear that he was going to die from his heart problems Bob decided to write Chris a letter for him to read in the future in the case that he passed away and one excerpt it read I hope I've been able to provide for you and your mother until you at least get to college and for your mother until she joins me at the great singalong in the sky or wherever anyway I expect you to take care of her love her and never disappoint her for as long as she lives I also expect you to never disappoint me because I will always be with you to help you when the going gets tough and you need me since everything always seems to happen for the best for me and when I need it I've always felt like my mother was my guardian angel you look exactly like my mother and I I didn't plan my life I just took it as it came along I seem to have had no control over it it always came along with what was right for me look at me 8 years ago in 1979 when I was really down and out and ready to cash in my chips with heart problems I didn't even even know about your mother Barbara Anne helped me through the rough spots and together we had you now I really had something to live for no better things or events could have happened to me your mother and I have done our best for you and in return we expect at least that from you for yourself and your children despite Chris still being mute at the time it's evident that Bob had high hopes for him which included college and children on top of all of that he emphasized as much as he could Chris ought to love and take care of Barb advice which will eventually know Chris took to heart in quite a peculiar way regardless of Bob's shortcomings as a father it seems that he did genuinely care for Chris and wanted the best for him at least based on this letter as his childhood progressed and he attended speech therapy classes Chris eventually started speaking again at age s this was a relief for his parents who could now actually communicate with him instead of having to guess what was on his mind according to Chris himself he quickly made up for his time in Silence by talking a lot with his classmates through the entirety of his childhood Chris's parents showered him with gifts the brunt of which were video games for Christmas that year he was given a Nintendo Game Boy which eventually allowed him to play Pokémon as we'll learn later this culminated in a major timeline shift in Chris for the rest of primary school Chris's life wasn't any more eventful than your average kid he had a crush on a girl for a little while and played lots of video games however when he entered fourth grade something very odd happened five faculty members ranging from teachers to the principal as he retells it abused him by pinning him to the ground holding his wrists and ankles and audio taping his cries and shouts regardless of how farfetched or possibly false the story may sound it must have had some degree of truth to it since Bob and Barb went as far as suing the school proceed eding to homeschool Chris for the time being we don't have detailed knowledge about the legal proceedings of this lawsuit but we do know that it eventually got dismissed whatever your opinions about homeschooling may be when it concerns children in Chris's case being around other kids was beneficial for him and he needed the social interaction to improve while taking him out of school might have been necessary due to the treatment he was getting from the staff being isolated entirely was certain to do him harm in December of '92 Bob and Barb took Chris to a mall where they would stumble across the Leonard bearstein Symphony Orchestra a band of animatronic Bears during their interaction with the leader of the band Leonard barstein himself the performer that operated the animatronics behind the scenes accidentally called Chris Christian instead of Christopher his birth name for whatever reason this deeply struck a chord with Chris who insisted that his name be legally changed to Christian a wish that would eventually be granted by his parents and even got coverage in a local newspaper later on it seems Chris believed God himself was acting through that bear I am chrisan Weston Chandler so get it through your damn fing skull and call me a real name that have got that's been given to me and up there at Regency Square shopping center dur 1989 in 1993 the passion for Sonic the Hedgehog that Chris already had for years at that point would grow to new degrees with him entering the Sonic the Hedgehog Watch and Win sweep Stakes contest where he won the grand prize a $1,000 shopping spree at a local toy store this win was reported on television making yet another instance of Chris attracting the attention of the media even as a young boy by 1996 Barb would retire as well meaning both her and Bob were spending the entirety of their time raising Chris though whether their increased presence was good or bad for him only time would tell this was also the Year Chris began high school and in his opinion these were his happiest years it was during this period that he became the water boy for the basketball team and just a year later he's a manager for it however I assume that if Chris was able to exercise that position it must not have been that serious of a position in the first place during one of his high school's basketball games Chris unknowingly received a vision of the things to come as he tells it one day during bball practice I was randomly thinking with a picture of mighty the armadillo of knuckles's chaotics 32x leaning against one of a bunch of tall Lockers in my head when suddenly the door behind him opened up and out popped this orange Hedgehog with a basketball so I drew and colored him on paper immediately bionic the Hedgehog Sonic's long lost brother was born as you can imagine it's just a dismal recoloring of Sonic but orange oh and by the way in case you didn't figure it out his name is bionic because B is for basketball along with having crushes on a couple of cheerleaders and involving himself in an altercation that got him demoted to the short bus his time in high school was marked by a prophetic dream about Sonic being on Game Boy after getting an F in English a 16-year-old Chris recorded his very first video dubbed song of Christian where he read a poem he wrote and proceeded to meander about other topics I hear America singing as I sing of myself and you experience as I experience the problems of yourself are my problems the E of the young singing cries a happiness the children's song is song of laughter and also wa mother one and also sometimes mother and I buy some Lego s build together like for example like for example this old bicycle pit shop here you can tell there's an oldfashioned Lego s on the C there's the oldfashioned Lego Land on the corner if you're already familiar with Chris Chan in any way you might be able to notice that he sounds different in this clip almost like he's a different person his voice is deeper and his speech is clearer than what he later became known for to some extent it's almost as if he was just your regular '90s nerd as opposed to the love crafty and entity he eventually came to embody this is due to the fact that during this time Chris was regularly interacting with people that weren't his Beyond geriatric parents which resulted in him being a lot more socially capable and normal but normaly was on borrowed time in the Chandler household for starters Chris discovered how to as he puts it Mass debate in the ripe old age of 16 years old After figuring out how to break the parental lock on his TV he figured it out for himself whatever that means in 1998 the Pokémon anime began being broadcasted and Chris was immediately hooked becoming a fan of the series shortly thereafter the Pokémon red and blue game would hit the shelves in America and in a way Christian's fate was sealed at that very moment during 1999 Chris's obsession with Pokemon would grow more evident and in April he created his first website called cwc's Pok site which was meant to be a Pokemon content and news aggregator which of course Chris lacks the confidence to maintain it seems the site's code was based mostly on a pre-built temp template and most likely was made under a doll supervision considering one of the entries on the site's guest book seemed to be from one of Chris's teachers throughout most of the Year Chris created playing cards for his Pokémon OCS his ideas weren't always the most creative such as drumore and symbolic two Pokemon that were basically just sentian drums one of these Pokémon Espanola a comically stereotypical Hispanic Pokémon served as the mascot of the Spanish version of the second edition of cwc's Pok site the absolutely broken miscarriage of a website that came as a result of trying to make his website from scratch in HTML instead of using a template in late August he made Yoshi into a Pokémon which set a precedent for him taking copyrighted characters from other franchises and making them into Pokémon in the year 2000 Chris turned 18 and held a birthday party he eventually wrote about saying we hung balloons and streamers and we laid Refreshments out on the table at the door was four of my high school Amigas and one of them brought a friend we ate pepperoni pizza and drank Pepsi it was great as mother lit the candles I was filling up with ecstasy after I blew the candles I was presented with a big jawbreaker from Kelly an RL Stein novel from Sarah a planner with stickers from Miranda and a rabbit doll with jelly beans from Tiffany we washed good burger and had fun after they left it was done what did I wish for I'm not telling though they obviously went to his party in the spirit of charitability the facts that he was likable enough to inspire these girls to humor him as a sign that despite his problems Chris was functional even if in his own way in the same year Chris began taking paxel a medication to help with his autism and overall it seemed like things were headed in the direction of of stability but who could ever predict what was coming next Chris's interest in Pokémon endured and he continued to create new Pokémon playing cards while having people from miss school stist sit's guest book complimenting his art with all of the social rewards he was getting from expressing his creativity through his interest Chris's ambition and belief in the potential of his Creations only grew during a computer Graphics class Chris was assigned to create a CD album cover but with a caveat that the image could not include any copyrighted character because of his dependence on derivative material he struggled with this limitation that is until he came came up with a brilliant idea if he were to make a hybrid of two copyrighted characters the resulting ad mixture wouldn't be copyrighted and thus it had to be acceptable the CD dubbed Christian's favorite hits would feature a picture of Chris himself alongside a few OC's of his but with one unforeseen addition the one and only sonichu a mixture of Sonic the Hedgehog and Pikachu he commented on this moment saying it dawned on me at that moment after lunch much like the random creation of bionic the Hedgehog during basketball practice in my freshman year sonichu just burst right into my imagination a blur at first but then it became more clear and came together very well so as swiftly as the creation of bionic I drew Sona shoe on paper from imagination then I drew him on my currently open Photoshop program after checking with my teacher and my father who is Big on copyrights and whatnot sonichu was legal then and still is and only mine so soon after the CD cover was made printed and passed with an A+ grade and just like that things would never ever be the same soon after son shu's conceptualization Chris would immediately start start making a homemade sonichu merchandise as if he was a real character one of the girls that went to his birthday party Kelly received a sonichu sweater Chris had made though it's a virtual certainty she had no idea what kind of psychotic hor Crux she was dealing with at the time Chris's creative streak would continue to manifest through another assignment he had to do wherein he would have to document a week of his high school life which he would dub a week with Christian Chandler the cover art is a picture of him wearing an ash kesum hat with his dog Patty above it is the title scribbled in Chris's incomprehensible handwriting while underneath is the most menacing drawing of Sonic the Hedgehog ever made this pattern of randomly drawing Sonic's head continued through the project as in the first page of this assignment we have this rendition of Sonic looking like he's been run over by a Japanese bullet train as for the actual content of Chris's paper it details a pretty uneventful week with Chris helping his parents move sleeping during class playing Pokemon and reading RL Stein books While most aspects of his life kept their monotonous Rhythm sonichu festered in the deepest crevices of Christian's mind taking on a myriad of different forms such as sonichu surfing sonichu and snowboarding sonichu a man for all seasons by June Chris graduated from high school though it was not a good experience for him in his Wikipedia autobiography he said graduation for me was a sad one then I only got recognized for my grades with a star pin yet they had more fancier awards for more important qualities I should have been highly recognized for my artistic talents I showed in many art classes for the award ceremonies before graduation day I felt Crest Fallen greatly from not getting recognized for any of my talents I excelled in math too for the love of God I had gotten over the award ceremony on the graduation day but to add lemon juice to an open wound it was dark and rainy that day and they handed out more talented Awards right before handing out any diplomas when I went up there to get mine I was feeling depressed upset crestfallen and ticked off when the award was handed to me I took it without looking anyone in the eye and I did not Shake anyone's hand I just walked back to my seat in the graduating crowd then soon after I just walked the wrong way up the center aisle found an isolated table and cried myself out my mother found me later and comforted me my father father was so ashamed of the way I acted and he would later still be angry at recalling the moment Tiffany also found me and gave me a caring amount of condolences back there I gave her a plush Psyduck as a graduating gift beforehand but I left out two other reasons why I felt Crest Fallen a graduation I never got the chance to ask Kelly out on a date and more importantly that I was leaving all my close gal friends behind soon after finishing High School Chris would enroll in a community college though at this point his priority was clearly sonichu in cwc's Pokey site he announced that a dedicated sonichu page was in the works and a logo for it was released his indelible originality follows sonichu and roseu with chachu and meu the female versions of Pikachu and Raichu respectively though what function these pieces of OC serve is completely unknown in October the sonichu site goes live and it looks about how you'd expect zero Improvement whatsoever in website Creations since cwc's pokes site 2 as a matter of fact the sonichu website is mostly a carbon copy of the Pokey site mostly containing recycled material from it at around the same time Chris azed to further his commitment to the sonichu IP and makes a Crayola Medallion of sonich shu's head with his mouth covered with red sauce like he just feasted on an order of glizzies at the tail end of that year he creates sonich Chu's female counterpart rosechu which is basically just Amy Rose from Sonic the Hedgehog with little if any changes to her appearance all of this marks the beginning of Chris's rapidly deteriorating mental health as his obsession kept growing into unhealthy and straight up odd directions and he started putting on significant amounts of weight though the first half of 2001 was mostly uneventful CH began working at a Wendy's in August his job description being cleaning trays tables and carpet SL tile flooring keeping the place neat and serving the customers with kind understanding help just a couple of months after he was hired however he was let go Chris claims this was due to emotional differences and that the manager had a spike on his shoulder against him over time more concrete reasons for his dismissal began surfacing such as drawing a coworker of his as an ugly Pokémon or making a child Cry by doing a terrifying impression of Donald Duck regardless he made a total of $500 off the job before being fired 2002 was a pretty uneventful year for Chris Chan standards with nothing much happening besides him turning 20 and developing a nigh unexplainable seeding hatred for Harry Potter apparently because it became more popular than Pokemon around that time in a card he made of himself called Dark chrisan whereas Pokemon type is autistic his ability is knocking out whoever says that they love Harry Potter more than they love Pokemon the bottom of the card reads Christian says kill Harry Potter revive Pokémon early on in the a his 21st birthday is ruined by his teacher as he details my 21st should have been as nice as my 18th or sweet 16 right wrong I was attending an English class at pbcc with this old male teacher I don't even remember the son of a bitch's name anyway on February 24th 2003 the day of my 21st birthday he had the nerve to kick me out of his class just because of my dog gone autism if I could do it over I'd give him a swift kick but then I might have gotten kicked out of pbcc and violence is rarely the answer anyway still though he wrecked my turning 21 angry face the actual reason for him being kicked out of class is mostly unknown with Chris sporadically saying the teacher randomly ejected him from the class because he was autistic a more believable iteration of the story happens in one of Chris's retellings of it where he mentions that the topic of homosexuality came up in a group discussion during class and Chris being the fancy gentleman we know him to be said something offensive though we don't know what exactly it was Chris expounded on it saying essentially when it came to critiquing the papers of the other students when they started talking about drug use and homosexual content I wrote with exclamations you'd likely hear from a black person in church he also emphasizes that the teacher being a man had something to do with it and how whatever problems he was having an English class went away once he retook the class with a female teacher Chris also says without explanation that after that day he realized he needed a female sweetheart this was the beginning of what would be known as Chris's love quest initially not much changed in Chris's General Behavior he continued to give CDs and gifts to his galp Pals and of course they all included sonichu in some form because he genuinely thought it was Charming being romantically INSP inspired he wrote the first sonichu story called sonichu and rosu the Genesis of the love Hogs though this story was not Illustrated as the latter entries into the Chris Chan Cinematic Universe would be it provided revelatory insight into the inner workings of sonichu Cannon according to this sacred text sonichu came to be when Chris accidentally collided with a Pikachu that stood nearby as he fought a monster due to being charged with energy from the chaos emeralds the Pikachu was permanently transformed into sonichu roseu on the other hand was a Raichu that happened to get hit with the rainbow that emitted from the creation of sonichu eventually for no reason other than Chris's tendency to insert everything from real life into his work sonichu and Rose Chu kissed and became lovers about a month later as Chris resumed his community college classes for the fourth year he came up with a brilliant idea to solve his problem he posted up the very first attraction sign which was a resume to attract a girlfriend the sign read 21 in single white male shy smart young at heart computer skilled humorous a great thinker and go-getter natural salesperson enjoys good parts of life diplomatic friendly loves his family peaceful very creative he's lonely seeking a cute 18 to 21 single female companion 18 to 21 years of age does not already have a boyfriend single average to slender weightbody type White lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville area does not smoke or drink alcohol happy positive personality average slh high income drives a vehicle if any Men read this huge sign mind your own business and to all men with girlfriends except marrieds and blacks go go jump off a cliff have a nice day you know I would make fun of the fact that he requires the girl to be average to slender have income and drive a vehicle despite Chris himself possessing none of those things however my standards have become so low due to the typical kind of person I cover in my videos that honestly I'm just glad he's looking for someone older than 18 even lows used to have standard back then they should strive to be more like Chris oh yeah don't let me forget to mention that he also emblazon this sign with some like white version of sonichu perhaps to Signal how much importance he attributes to the girl being white this month is also special because that's when Chris makes his debut as a recording artist dropping his album Christian and the Hedgehog boys it's interesting to note that the cover includes Chris alongside Sonic and sonichu in the foreground while two black versions of Sonic at least one of which is supposed to be Shadow the Hedgehog are in the back looking upset the album boasts eight tracks all of which consist of Chris reciting parody lyrics over actual songs not even instrumentals just full-on songs ranging anywhere from Backstreet Boys to the Macarena seriously just get a load of so neat a cute girl Chris's rendition of the Backstreet Boys I Want It That Way and I never want to hear I another track best friends forever is subliminally dedicated to the aforementioned Sarah Hammer who at this point had a boyfriend whom Chris was jealous of the lyrics are quite interesting you hang out with your new friends you made in your boyfriend who acts as a black sonichu it is your choice to go with them instead of me soon you'll realize you're not complete because I'm not there if it wasn't clear yet sonichu along with Prett pretty much every other character he made up were either self-inserts or blatant wish fulfillment fantasies for Chris because of his utter inability to deal with the problems he was facing in his life he articulated them through his OC after a few months of his sign being posted up without any takers as you'd expect it was taken down by the dean of the college Mary Lee Walsh Chris had a few words to say about her that evil witch Mary Lee Walsh mocked me and even crumbled my efforts and threw them into my face it was serious heart-shattering insults like that which literally shattered my heart to almost nothing and murdered my soul like as if I didn't already understand that love can't be hurried but they all left a huge impression among the general population that having a sweetheart was illegal in Virginia thus Virginia is for virgins not lovers despite Mary's best efforts every time she took one of Chris's signs down he just made more and more of them and posted them up around campus even creating Myspace and Facebook pages to advertise his pursuit of a boyfriend free girl as 2004 began Chris began mulling over the idea of merging his writings with his drawings and making comic strips sonichu stories he also tries to negotiate with Mary Lee over emails saying Mary I've slept on it and I've realized that note hanging is not the way to get attention and I don't really want to meet with either you nor Susan no offense I'll tell you what let's forget the meeting and if you will allow my newsletter to stay in distribution I will do all of the following I will never hang notes on the wall again I'll consider stopping my silent treatment on Susan I'll consider knocking you and Susan up my scale of respect each by two points zero equals no respect 10 equals Respect by newsletter Chris means sonichu news Dash which he thought would more effectively attract Girls by mesmerizing them with his artistic talent Mary wisely chose to not engage with Chris the shenanigans opting to just remind him of when his appointment was and leave it at that at said meeting despite Chris's sa Goodman tier bargaining skills he was forbidden from putting up signs as well as Distributing his newsletter which deeply embittered him leading him to resent Mary and make her the primary villain of sonichu Adventures from then on in one of the Diary entries he would post to his no longer existent Myspace accounts Chris wrote Mary Lee Walsh made it illegal to distribute the the news Dash I am very angry at that in response I plan to incite the masses and hope they demand the return of the news Dash so my chances on getting a girlfriend can be restored I've also declared war on them as well about a month later he added that Mary Lee was trying to get him kicked out of college altogether for a stunt though it's unknown the degree to which that's true as Chris is a very unreliable narrator since he could no longer attract the ladies in the college campus he took his sign to the Charlottesville Fashion Square Mall though initially seeming more promising than his love quest attempt in the college campus it ran into problems at the mall as well his diary entries go into detail I've just had my worst trip to the mall I was working with my heart on a red string of fate when from out of the blue a jerk cop shattered my heart and ripped up the red string I am very mad and upset because that jerk took my idea for a fall just like that exploitive at pvcc did before I read on I have to make a note here to explain that the red string of fate Chris mentions is referring to a heart made out of paper that he would throw at girls at the mall in the hopes they held on to it so that he could reel them in if this sounds insane Saye it's because it is anyway Chris continues I was not bothering anyone at the mall today while I was just trying to sell myself when I got arrested for trying I fortunately did not go to jail but I've been stripped of my right to go to the mall by myself I would be required to bring my mom or dad with me my Independence and my soul were practically murdered this encounter inspired him to create one of his most famous terms jerk Ops a portmanto of jerk and cops from then on whenever something bad happened to him Chris would find a way to blame it on the jerk cops he even made a Pokémon card for them with the description reading this copper fiend wants to shatter the virgin's Heart by destroying his tools for attracting a boyfriend free woman within a week of his arrest and possibly because of it Chris gets suspended from his college saying I got suspended from pvcc by the board and I have that meddling exploitive to thank for this as well I am super angry my dad is bloodthirsty for Revenge as well he's going to write to US President George W bush Jor and Laura Bush to help me get allowed back to pvcc we all curse death upon Mary Lee Walsh after this both his diary entries and his attempts at the Love quest die down for the time being most likely due to his parents telling him to cut back on it to avoid getting in even more trouble in the meantime Chris was mandated to consult a psychiatrist for an evaluation as a result of his community colleges board it has a few noteworthy excerpts such as according to his parents there have been a number of incidents which led to a suspension they feel strongly that the suspension was unwarranted and did not take into account the patient's developmental limitations one such occurrence was during an interaction with African-American classmat mates these young women were questioning the patient regarding his search for a girlfriend at which point he told them they could not be his girlfriend because they were not white this was perceived as racially insensitive although from the patient's perspective he was merely pointing out that they did not me a standard criteria for a female companion to the surprise of many the psychiatrist considered Chris to be dealing with his autism in a relatively healthy way despite the occasional Mischief he got up to one interesting point that has been brought up is that consequence of this document is the fact that both the Love quest and sonichu Chris's two most destructive Obsessions By far only began manifesting after Chris began taking paxel in 2000 though I'm no specialist on the matter some have said that Chris should not have been put on an anti-depressant let alone paxel which is the most potent SSRI available considering how mild a symptoms were up until that point it would make a lot more sense for him to just have regular appointments with a psychologist instead of being medicated with no followup whatsoever the psychiatrist that did this particular evaluation however was not of this opinion and instead recommended that his dose of packs will be increased from 20 Mig to 30 Mig daily I bet that after this Chris improved by Leaps and Bounds regardless the rest of 2004 was quiet with the exception of a video Chris recorded in his bedroom singing a few of his songs wherein he was wearing the outfit he would become almost exclusively associated with along with it he is Dawning his esteemed sonichu Medallion completing the Chris Chan uniform to a tea unfortunately despite asking Santa Claus for a girlfriend Chris spend yet another Christmas is a virgin full of Rage 2005 rolls around and a few posts began popping up on Chris's website claiming to be hot chicks who have seen him at the mall but didn't come up to him for one reason or another though few and far between at this point these were Chris's first proper trolls first of exceedingly many however one of the people that commented this wasn't joking an actual girl witnessed what Chris was up to at the mall she worked at and decided to seek his website out this was quite the event since up until this moment Chris never got the time of day from anyone let alone a girl her name was Anna and in a blog post titled the tale of the crazy Pacer she writes extensively about her encounter with Chris saying once upon a time there was a guy who paced in front of abber crobby and Fitch he had come and do for hours on end just walking back and forth he was an okayl looking guy not evil looking like creepy molester dude so he would pace for his a lot of time then leave sometimes as he paced he would sing or shout nobody really could ever tell what he was saying oh yeah and he always wore the same shirt a nice little long sleeved red and blue number that had a gold Crest on the left side and a white collar in cuffs someone I can't remember who suggested that the next time he looked in we wave at him whoever suggested it should die unless it was me in which case I feel I've received enough punishment of course he looked in and we all waved at him he looked kind of bewi Ed and sort of scared at first but quickly caught on and waved back so we went about our business doing floor set and junks and a little while later he came in I was kind of apprehensive about this I mean I've been doing floor set all day and I didn't really feel up to dealing with another crazy but he came right up to the counter I was standing behind and he looks right at me all fidgety and Twitchy and this conversation ensued Chris he looked to be about 19 years old right I busted out laughing because he guessed it right that's exactly right see I know these things I can just tell how old someone is he said kind of proud and still timid at the same time my name is Christian but you can call me Chris I'm Christian W Chandler oh hi Chris so do angels have names I found out later that he meant to say do angels like you have names poor guy was so nervous he didn't get it right probably but I don't know well what's your name sorry I don't go for pickup lines I replied kind of laughing his face kind of fell and I felt sorry for him but he pressed on oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to insult you I was just asking your name so what is your name my name is Anna okay well Anna is there any way I could um get your phone number and maybe I could give you a call sometime no ah well do you want my phone number then you can call me on my cell phone no thanks so um do you have a boyfriend Anna no I'm not looking for one though all right well um do you have access to the internet yes okay hold on one second I'll be right back I nodded and he went back to his spot where he kept his two tote bags in his Sam's Club cup so Christian came back and handed me a card where they crudely drawn Sonic the Hedgehog and some other yellow Sonic looking creature on it along with Christian's name email address and website it was a homemade business card that's my email address and you can just email me some time okay okay I said not intending to email him at all despite how awkward these exchanges self-evidently were you got to give it up for Chris's autistic Riz even if just a little bit for a guy with as many setbacks as him he handled the situation with more dignity than expected many guys today are afraid to even approach a girl on March 24th he released one of the earliest proper comic book Productions sonichu Adventure sub episode 1 dubbed jerop tastrophe despite being called sonichu Adventure it's mostly just about Chris himself retelling the story about being banned from a mall on March 29th an update to his love quest is posted to his diary well at the mall today my heart had an extremely fast recovery then it became majorly shattered again I went to the mall like normal I picked up some chicken nuggets and a drink then I went to my spot I pulled up a chair to sit and eat my food then from out of the blue this cute girl approached me and she asked me if I was looking for a girlfriend her name was Hannah and she was 18 years old I said yes and we small talked for a bit then she invited me over to Starbucks for coffee after she left I became very excited and oh my God all over after after calling Mom and eating my nuggets I lefted the chair with such cheer and Grace and spun around with it like a dancer then I put it back where it was I felt that my love quest had finally come to an end and I so elated that my shattered heart had a full Fast recovery I went to Starbucks and we talked about basic things I showed her my sonichu scrapbook she was very impressed I gave her my email and both my phone numbers on a sonichu site card and she gave me her email address I was very attentive as I took notes about her and maintained eye contact as I left her I gave a double take flirt that was the rise now here comes the fall as I was sitting at my spot thinking about future steps for later dates Anna and Dana told me that when they talked to Hannah she told them she was setting me up in a prank I could not believe it so I found and asked Hannah sadly it was true that in major shock Anna and Dana told me that when they talked to Hannah she told them that she was setting me up in a prank I could not believe it so I found and asked Hannah sadly it was true then in major shock my heart shattered Again by 85% and I let out a big no after that shout I got kicked out again and I'm still without the Fashion Square shopping center that I've grown accustomed to after my whole life so my love quest has restarted and as for that date of ours I'll always remember it but as far as I'm concerned it does not count as my first date I was not as happy as I was today in a long time I'm once again heart shattered and sad but I will not give up on my love quest because there has to be one true boyfriend free datable non- pranking girl out there somewhere poor guy really cannot catch a break around this time Chris finished sonich Sho number zero the first proper edition of the comic book series the handdrawn premiere issue as he puts it the story in it were mostly reworkings of previous Standalone comic strips complete with nonsensical plots and nightmarishly ugly artwork that Chris Chan later became synonymous with he also begins drawing new sonry releases during his public outings for his love quest and is even noticed by someone who gives probably one of the best summaries of Chris and his Essence at this point in their blog post so sonichu returns to Alderman today I'm not sure what to make of him he sits in his chair and draws the sonichu comics harmless I assume yet I feel like he knows he's different he knows that the world rushing in front of him is not his own surrounded by the brightest students in America whatever that means he sits in his chair and draws 23 years old I'm not sure he even graduated high school in front of him texts of Plato faler God and cly swirl does he have the capacity to understand these Works whether he can or not I'm not sure but there is something in his eyes that realizes that there is a level of understanding and thought that he is unable to partake in as he slumps lower and lower in his chair with each student he eyes reading or holding a book he falls into himself into the markers and colors on the page in front of him he seems intelligent enough to understand that he does not understand and that is the hardest part of all I never thought I'd see chrisy describe this poetically in my life I suppose there's a first time for everything I miss these sightings Chris decides to go to the Mid-Atlantic anime convention where he took a few printed copies of sonichu number zero and distributed them to whoever would accept as his love quest thanks to new Lowe's Chris gets kicked out from the local McDonald's where he's also been conducting his attraction sign experiments I'll spare you from hearing the diary entry in its full extent but the manager Chris's nickname for the managers started calling the cops on Chris for loyal ring in their establishment in later sonichu episodes the manager received in Universe stand-ins one of them was named married seor comic an alias which is completely unexplainable to anyone with a functioning brain and for no apparent reason had robot arms and legs after married Senor Chris's creativity must have run out since the other one was just distinctly referred to as black fat jerk on account of the fact that to Chris that's all he really was if his diary entry is anything to go by Chris began explaining his situation to them in song and dance when one of the managers asked Chris to just have a normal conversation with him he sat silent for a minute until he came up with possibly the most schizophrenic own ever uttered I do not speak to any man other than myself because they have all taken the pretty girls leaving me with none what a word Smith he followed this up by giving them verbal punishment the finger and last but not least curse y hameh has what say curse y hameha you may ask well luckily for us Chris is demonstrated in video I'm on later a similar situation played out at Target as the manager called the cops on Chris he claims that as he was about to give them a prepared speech five cops chased him down pulled his pants handcuffed his wrist and legs and hog tied him after being briefly taken to County Jail Chris was given a court date for disorderly conduct and trespassing later on he dramatized the situation and a sonichu comic as he always did fortunately for Chris after two hearings he was given a $30 fine and had to pay $56 in cost within a week of the target Fiasco he was once again arrested for following Too Close while driving and yes at this point he was a licensed driver if you can believe it after his suspension from college was lifted and he started regularly interacting with other people his age again things relaxed a bit for a while as advances were made in the Love quest after bidding goodbye to Anna who moved to Utah Chris makes a few more attempts at finding a date over Myspace messages mostly to no avail the first one was Galena who turned him down because he seemed too desperate then came Lindsay who consistently rescheduled her dates over the course of 2 months in order to never actually have to see Chris in real life overall things seem dire for our brave hero but it was around this time that he began to Rouse online attention with a thread on a Sega Forum centered around sonichu popping up earlier that year YouTube was created so the Golden Age of Chris Chan was at the gates meanwhile he was getting some Traction in his emails though his application to become a official Nintendo game tester was rejected Chris got into regular correspondence with a girl named Megan on the 1st of November Megan emailed Chris asking him to buy an episode of tin10 on eBay for her they had already met in person before in a video game convention a year prior but it wasn't until these emails of the tail end of 2005 that Chris grew obsessed with her though she clarified from the get-go that she wasn't interested in Chris or anyone for that matter in a romantic way this didn't deter Chris who clearly saw her as a love interest and continued to invite her on dates to date Megan was probably the person who had been the nicest and most patient with Chris 2006 marked a significant rise in Chris buying the most random useless garbage from eBay from My Little Pony and Sailor Moon paraphernalia two German World War II photos apparently all of the purchases were influenced by Megan's interests based on her email we know that Megan was into MLP Sailor Moon and for some mysterious reason we mocked soldiers from World War II considering how desperate Chris was to get a girlfriend it's surprising he didn't start laring as a Nazi to impress her eventually he got her a Nintendo DS which she turned down due to the fact that she already had one she bought herself while Chris was busy spinning his wheels into the mud during his love quest by chasing after an uninterested Megan he managed to graduate from Community College getting a degree in computer aided Drafting and design over time Chris began wearing her down continually being put about wanting to date her despite her repeatedly saying she wasn't interested most likely because of this Megan severely limited the amount of times they met up in real life to once a week and even then Chris would take that as an opportunity to be as handsy as possible which she obviously wasn't okay with after months of this Dynamic going back and forth Chris overstepped a few boundaries when he started complaining about Megan being friendly with other guys this was grading for her since not only were they not dating but she was also not interested in the guys Chris was paranoid about this caused her to email him in a slightly stricter tone saying I don't want to have to tell you again or I might get really angry cuz you know unwanted remarks or advances to a girl is sexual harassment and I don't take that lightly okay so can you understand now anyway sometimes I get the feeling that you copy me to get me to like you like Sailor Moon for example the only Sailor Moon thing you had was that adult video and since I told you how much I love it then you start getting into it kind of like My Little Pony that kind of thing really annoys me you make it sound like I have to get your approval to be that kind of friendly to someone and I felt rather disappointed about those remarks and you already know I don't love you so why do you make yourself unhappy by holding grudges and trying so hard to win me over so please if you really want to make me happy please let me make my own decisions and figure out my own life okay besides even if I had a boyfriend what makes you think I'll stop being friends with you I'm not that kind of person who'd say well I have a boyfriend now so see you no I'm not that kind ofy girl you know I haven't talked to this person in a year I'm not really wanting to get together with him either boyfriends aren't for me don't want them don't need them however I can't say I like how much you call him a lucky jerk why is he a jerk why do you call all guys that because they take all the pretty girls leaving you none to choose from hat to be blond but that's a pathetic Way To Think you don't go to a mall and buy a girlfriend the thing is guys didn't take all the girls the girls just didn't choose you quit blaming other men personally I think you shouldn't be so picky about what they look like all you say is you want a pretty girl well it's the inside that counts after all a pretty girl can have the personality of Satan meanwhile an ugly girl may have a heart of gold but you wouldn't even give a second look would you I often wonder if I was an ugly girl you wouldn't even come near me would you little did poor Megan know that the powers of the chaos emeralds render Chris impervious to reality checks of any nature nature while this drama ensued Chris never stopped cranking out new issues of sonichu all containing the same themes recycled over and over again such as sonichu enemies always being conspicuously black the text bubbles being randomly placed on the page with no discernable reading order Chris M curiously defeating his real life opponents such as Mary Lee Walsh and the guy who Sarah Hammer dated instead of him so on and so forth what was noticeable in the later episodes was that progressively sonichu became a secondary character in his own comic with the protagonist becoming Chris himself sonichu fun function was primarily to Serve and Protect Chris and every once in a while symbolically represent who he wanted to be additionally other than real life people Chris also added a character called Crystal Weston Chandler a female version of himself that seems to simultaneously fulfill the ideal role of the mom the ideal daughter the ideal sister and the ideal girlfriend the facts that this guy wasn't regularly seeing a therapist is a travesty to be honest as Megan put a healthy amount of distance between herself and Chris his eBay purchases started drifting towards the salacious items include Bootylicious doll Pearl Beed prolong ring nah Harley's guide to sex toys and my personal favorite Space Nuts after years of frustration Chris began taking matters into his own hands and following this General theme he also decided to give up on Santa since for the past 3 years he was asking for a girlfriend which Sansa never delivered 2007 begins and Chris begins working on a new project called yep I'm on TV which consists of videos he had recorded on VHS tapes burned onto a DVD of course he had no idea how valuable an archive of his activ activities would eventually become and most likely he just did this out of his narcissistic self-obsession with every moment of his life later on the leaking of this DVD was of great assistance to those interested in the CWC lore but at the very end of this highlight reel about Chris's life there was one video filmed solely for the purposes of being put into the DVD called Christian Weston Chandler's future message hello ladies and gentlemen girls and boys and dudes of all teenages in this 9 minute long prophetic Manifesto Chris summarizes the lessons he learned up until this point he did this because ideally he wanted this video to be played in schools in it he goes on about why going to school isn't torture why drinking and smoking are bad the extreme importance of staying straight and last but not least that girls should consider dating uglier guys because they will have a better personality and a brighter future it's around this time that Chris reconnects with Cole his previously mentioned half brother to offer him a copy of his autobiographical DVD for the first half of the year it's business as usual for Chris who continues to exchange emails with Megan where she continually complains about him touching her when she doesn't want him to by June she leaves for Kentucky and Chris misses her dearly since she was pretty much the only female he could get close to that wasn't his mom this wasn't the only thing causing him to be upset though is by the end of June Chris's dog Patty that he had had since 1988 had to be put down he even wrote his dog a eulogy saying when Patty was brought to the vet on that faithful day I was distraught with fright and concern for her health I stayed with her during her final moments with my hand on her head and a tear in my eye when my mother was brought the paper that gave the doctor permission to sent her on her way I didn't want her to be the one to sign it I raised Patty since she was a six-week old pup and I wanted to take the strain for signing the one-way ticket it was hard for me but it was for the best so I signed that paper with a crying sonichu face saying we love you Patty after that I gave her my final pets hug hand to Paw hold eye contact ear rub cheek to fur rub and I sadly waved her for the final time and I said goodbye Patty I love you as I stood outside I heard Patty's last bark saying I will always love you Chris thank you regardless of how thorny and problematic of an individual Chris Chan is losing a pet you've had for that long is tough especially considering how few and far between were his sources of affection Patty must have meant a lot for him and it's hard not to feel for the guy but let's not dwell on this for too long because Chris did not either by July Christian had entered a contest called Chop Chop Master onions rap Showdown which was created to promote the PaRappa the Rapper game that was coming out that year the grand prize was two PSPs and an all expenses paid trip to Seattle for the 2007 Penny Arcade Expo which Chris was hoping to use and order to seduce Megan out of Kentucky and back into his arms well not quite back since she was never there anyway this is Chris's entry if you were curious hey P station my name is Christian Chandler I live in roxville Virginia I have a PSP I like the rap I play with the rapper I go with you now the only song I know is Master onion July was also a very active month for his eBay and he bought plenty of more sex dolls adult videos and masturbation AIDS of all kinds mind you all of these trinkets gizmos and gadgets were bought on the credit card of a nearly 80-year-old Bob whenever he wasn't getting busy with those he was emailing every person he'd ever interacted with in his life to vote for his PaRappa the Rapper contest entry so that he'd win the prize he even tried Cole but to no avail says he seemed to be interested exclusively in trashing Chris's parents this technique must have proved effective since his video made it to the final rounds but in early August it was made public that the winner of the contest was not Chris but a guy named Adam stack house Chris would put in his two cents about this unfavorable result that stupid no good Adam stack house won the trip he had music and more than one person in his video which were in violation of the official rules three other videos out of the remaining nine apoi brutal and storya buckwald all violated the official rules as well those seven people of those four videos should have been disqualified period I am so angry of the fact that the PlayStation company and their promotional Associates will not do anything to bring these violators to Justice sworn on my autism Justice will be served to the seven people of those four videos of course while accusing other people of cheating Chris overlooked the fact that he himself had made over 120 fake accounts to vote for himself as he admitted in an email to Megan also his claims that Adam's video had music are based on the facts that Adam beatboxed which hardly qualifies in any event his Tia continued over at his PSN blog this is directed mostly to Adam stack house the SOB who was the alphabetically first video in the Parappa contest and got wrongfully the big prize I loathe Adam and his sister for stealing my one chance at taking my sweet galri to Seattle it would have been terrific I might have even been able to change her outlook on not planning on having children she and I are both virgins although I am a frustrated High functionally autistic 25-year-old virgin I don't have much going on for me really because I have been the dog in America's favorite game kick the autistic for my whole life I curse those seven people between the cast of the Three legal videos to die and burn as for Adam if he's reading this and is asking you've got something to say to me I do P.S [ __ ] you you dream smashing son of a [ __ ] one thing I've neglected to mention is that while Megan was away in Kentucky she wasn't checking her emails so she had no idea what kind of garbage Chris was filling her inbox with with when she returned and saw what he had been up to she once again tried her very best to shut Chris down I just want to say that your behavior has irritated me for the last time first I'll start off with saying that I'm glad you didn't win the contest because I have no interest in going on a trip alone with someone who can't keep his hands off me I'm not your girlfriend and I never will be when I say don't touch me that means don't touch me what may seem friendly to you is sexual harassment to me you whine that you're just being friendly but you obviously have no consideration for my feelings also I can't say I like how you use my photo in your video and on the cover of your comic book I want them removed from the internet immediately since I'm not a MySpace member I can't view what you post if there are any photos of me on your blog I want them removed and I don't like your Megan Obsession I don't like being a character in your Comics I don't like how you made me a character in Soul Caliber and Animal Crossing that kind of behavior really freaks me out with all that said we're down to two options a we remain friends and only friends period as in no more touching me following me asking me personal questions and giving me things we can still battle and trade cards and talk or B never see me again I'm sorry has come down to this but I've told you repeatedly in a nice way to stop but you've never listened I hope you will finally take what I just said into serious consideration and now know that if you try your advances again I won't be very nice about it despite how clear Megan was being it would once again fall on mostly deaf ears as Chris would reply with another email titled ouch my heart trying his hardest to guilt trip and yaking about his love quest once again concluding it with a declaration of his love for her a couple of weeks go by and Chris continues sending her love mail all while purchasing more and more sex dolls eventually it seems he did take what Megan said to heart and complied with her demands and she thanks him for it the peace treaty between them didn't last very long after Chris began expressing his distaste for one of Megan's friends who happened to be gay after being confronted by Megan about it Chris replied originally I was not fond of him because it was obvious that he was a homo yes I am a homophobe I fear them all and I fear the tormenting Temptations of falling off the straight path but then I mentally sometimes from a DVD and if you'll pardon the expression shove some [ __ ] in my face I'll tell you what if I ever stoop down to changing my path I might as well would get a gender change operation what a prophetic statement from Mr Chandler by some miracle Megan is once again tolerant and patient with him saying she understands why he's like this since she also had a tough time in high school and felt very lonely in that same month a new dimension to the CWC story was revealed as for the very first time an online community took note of his existence on a thread about UL Lilia on the website something awful Chris gets brought up along with his sonichu Comics soon he gets his own dedicated thread titled sonichu and his quest for a boyfriend free girl after two decades of people either pitying or distancing themselves from him due to his eccentric sensibilities Chris finally finds his Niche a target audience of people who Relish in how strange and demented he is in the thread people point out how his website looks like a visual rendition of a grand M seizure some even theorize that there was no way everything CWC made was this naturally awful and that he must have been doing it on purpose is a really elaborate prank or performance art piece but a handful of the users actually had experienced Chris in person one user said I posted in the other thread but I've seen this guy in real life this is no prank he used to go to the college I attended until he got kicked out if anyone he us from Charlottesville Virginia you may have seen him also he hangs around the UVA Alderman library in the Fashion Square mall I had seen him around campus and just thought he was in an anime club or something I never saw him with his signs I learned a lot more about him when he messaged my sister on MySpace and invited her out for a soda she declined and he became increasingly more harass of towards her until she blocked him yes he wears that sonichu necklace around everywhere he goes people slowly realized that Chris was definitely not your run-of-the-mill internet weirdo Not only was it evident he was a special kind of well special but no one up until that point had probed the depths of the Quicky verse despite how small of a community there was around Chris and Sonu at the time it was like stumbling into King tutt's tomb and finding mountains of archaeological artifacts that have been hidden away from the world for centuries these same user from the previous post found and shared an updated and enhanced version of the attraction sign on Chris's website this this addition included a list of Chris's turnoff which are the following smokers real drunk alcoholics gone to Mo often current SL previous mothers I support them fully but I would not feel comfortable walking into a previously made family I would feel more comfortable starting fresh and having my own children real ugly women currently over 230 lb the low functionally mentally handicapped the seriously physically deformed autistic High functional or otherwise although I myself am high functionally autistic but that's besides the point medium or dark chocolate police women what stands out firstly is the amount of hypocrisy in this list not only does he exclude the ugly fat and autistic all of them being catagories many would group him in with but he says police women are a turnoff when at this point he had bought a total of three cop themed blowup dolls he also mentions that mothers are a turnoff but I don't want to get ahead of myself so I'll save that wretched can of worms for later in the dark underbelly of the internet news travels at light speed and just a little after cwc's debut as a l cow in the something awful forums discussions about him sprung up in the cartoon and video game boards on 4chan unfortunately because these were from so long ago that 4chan didn't have the reputation it currently has and consequently almost nobody archived what went on we don't have all of this chatter saved regardless we can imagine the kind of discussions that were going on a few days after the word of Chris Chan had been spread around someone named Evan from the cartoons board emailed Chris saying this is some fan art of sonichu my friends and I have drawn I hope you enjoy it one of the attached images seemed to be a gift that depicted Chris in a staring match with a Sonic like figure and that was the only attachment that wasn't a veiled troll the first one was a drawing of Chris and his love quest with a sign that said no [ __ ] while the other two were NSFW Renditions of Chris and sonichu doing unspeakable acts because of his infinite naive Chris replied saying thank you for your fan art contributions in constructive criticism I like the one with me and the girlfriend auditions as well as my glaring in the eyes of the blue guy but I am feeling great to test towards the other two sonichu and I are not of that nature at all if you would like to make it up to me though please draw a strip of rosich stripping for sonichu and have him [ __ ] her and draw rosich masturbating and squirting emphasis added I am straight damn it I will not be veered in any other disgustingly grotesque direction again most nasty fan arts are not appreciated at all please feel free to share that quote with the rest of the fans sincerely Christian Weston Chandler attach was an image of Chris and sonichu staring menacingly subtitled by the phrasee we're keeping track it's bad enough that Chris likes the no [ __ ] image but the rosich H request signals a major shift that Chris was undergoing at this time from Oddball virgin to corrupt perverts Evan obeyed his wish but with a Twist much to Chris's surprise and shagrin rosu was depicted as having a giant penis Chris replied do me a favor draw a vagina on rosich rosu is a girl she never had a freaking pickle if I see one more freaking pickle and you may spread this quote to other adult fan artists I will create you in Soul Caliber 3 and beat you up like there's no tomorrow to which Evan responded with a simple uh-oh along with another Ms paint drawing of rosu holding a pickle this time literally and not figuratively this trolling configration hit his Peak when an article about Chris went up on encyclopedia dramatica after being informed about it by two people who seemed to genuinely care Chris claimed that the article caused him to have the worst weekend of his life saying a hacking terrorist group Anonymous and forchan are somehow involved in that page when the article itself mostly went over the things we've already covered it did so in the typical Ed fashion r with insulting expletives directed at Chris and his Creations along with it came a few people trolling on his email but no one really got to him besides Evan probably because Chris's attention was directed elsewhere all of this obviously upset him and a couple of days later he expressed his disapproval of the Ed page in an uncharacteristically polite and genuine way that it's hard not to sympathize with him in the video titled Chris Chan's Public Announcement he simply asked that the page be Rewritten in a more favorable light suggesting edits such as including his family history according to his head Cannon he was a descendant of Anne Bolin on his mother's part despite the fact that Anne Bolin never had any children additionally he claims to be 16th Cherokee through his father saying we're a respected tribe after apologizing for anything he could have possibly done that wasn't nice he asked that the pagee be taken down much later Chris relayed on emails that during this time he and his mother were badgering the management of the game place for CCTV footage to try and figure out who took that picture of him that was featured on the Ed article which they deduced must be the same person who wrote it however they stopped once the owner of the place threatened to ban him for a month it's really funny how Chris isn't afraid of being arrested by actual cops like he was at Target but if someone merely suggests taking away his ability to play Pokemon cards with pre-teens for a single month he folds just like that on November 10th an image of goatsy was added to the article's gallery of images above the caption the true brains behind Chris Chan and this was the straw that broke the camel's back that set him off to make an account and tried to edit it into a positive light himself emphasis on the word try because seems not even Christian is capable of making himself look better he removes goatsy along with words like [ __ ] and scary because he doesn't like them in the section about evans's trolling he replaces the phrase masturbation and squirting with just masturbate and added a couple of notes that said every person is doing it and ah relief with a smiley face next to it in an attempt to defend himself from the accusations that he was racist Chris edited in the following section he's also old-fashioned in his idea of a sweetheart she is not black is cool with adoption but his dream of his future daughter calls for blood tears and seal dissent his verbal Acumen never ceases to amaze me in regards to the mockery of his attraction sign he put in the only reasonable and inexpensive idea he could ever fuing think of there was also some clarification about The Medallion which people were speculating was made of clay but Chris specifically said it was made of Crayola Model Magic this was just the first days worth of edits it was a day later on November 12th that Chris made the brunt of his most notable edits such as comment on his officer nasty doll saying nah it's just my artificial woman in her plastic blue outfit awesome to [ __ ] and the cleaning maintenance is simple she'll only lasts until she has her internal injury among these discretionary even humorous additions he also makes possibly one of the worst mistakes of his life for absolutely no comprehensible reason he makes multiple additions to the gallery all consisting of handdrawn sonichu head tie with the exception of two images the first is titled Mary wants it. jpeg a nude Mary Walsh on her evil Throne beckoning with her finger and saying come and lick my [ __ ] my jerk off slave what the [ __ ] if you can believe it that wasn't what got him in trouble but the next image the infamous shame came for quickie. jpeg which featured Chris with a smirk fing a naked female with one hand and doing a thumbs up in the other captioned with your sister has come for me though obviously I can't show the whole image people have done some anatomical analysis on it in order to understand the inner workings of Chris Chan's creative mind people began wondering what Chris meant with the caption because usually when doing Trash Talk the target tends to be people's mom not their sister discussions ensued as to what this actually meant to Chris with some even thinking that the girl in the drawing was crystal his imaginary sister Slaughter slgl little did they know that Chris at least at the time he wrote The caption believed John Megan's brother was The Mastermind behind the trolling and the caption was meant for him the girl in the drawing was Megan but no one knew this other than Chris the rest of that Year's edits of the Ed page were uneventful back and forth between Chris and the sight's moderation over in Chris's emails on December 30th he wrote and sent a poem that's quite the mouthful to say the least for my true love I treat her tenderly sweetly gently like a Summer Breeze I'd caress her skin gently with my strong fingers I'd take her to eat and provide for her to my ability I'd start small at McDonald's then let it get better in due time when the mood is right I'd whisk her in my arms and lift her up in sweet gentleness if she is willing to allow the pleasure I'd lay her down caress her gently tickle her fancy have her Tickle My Fancy and give it to her with the Learned lonely experience I've endured I have no idea how Chris's post MacDonald's erotica is more articulate than the writing of sonichu it's insane to think he thought this would be romantic for a woman to read by the way he didn't send this directly to Megan but to a mutual acquaintance of theirs who presumably read it before passing it on to Megan it's unknown if it actually got to her as there's no email of hers acknowledging any of the stuff said in the poem for the first two months of 2008 there was a great quiet before the storm that is besides Chris getting some anal beads that came with another one of his purchases and Megan briefly living under the same roof as him due to her having issues with her family given his reputation for touchiness I'm sure she tried to keep her time there as short as possible their uneasy but not quite all negative relationships survived until early March when Megan emailed Chris thanking him for a trade and consoling him over being banned from his local church which later we find out happened because the pastor found out about his Ed page the tune suddenly changes to a very different one come the 12th when Chris emails her profusely apologizing saying he was caught up in the rage when when he did that followed by a string of Megan I'm sorry for hurting you it's worth noting he doesn't specify what he's apologizing for exactly this may seem like a random thing but it's actually because in their Communications outside of emails Chris was trying to pretend that the girl in the drawing wasn't Megan but Crystal as the trolls had supposed at the time of sending this email he hadn't quite let go of that lie hence the vague language he uses he also promises to take the Ed page down or his name isn't Christian Weston Chandler which is interesting considering it used to be Christopher and eventually would become Christine but that's for later the next day he emails her again with some quote unquote detective work on this 4chan fell that's been ruining his life in this one he does specify that he was the one that made the drawing giving up trying to dodge that particular bullet on the same day Megan replied saying I just don't know what to say now I'm very much scared by that image and it will never leave me and I can't decide what's worse the image in general or the fact you intentionally drew it and gave it to the Web Master for that sight that you hate so much not only have you poured gas on the fire by doing that adding obscenity to the already horrific site but you've also embarrassed and humiliated me and degraded and demeaned me whether you realize it or not I mean I'm not that kind of girl and you know what so why and you also lied to me about it so I'm unsure what to do about this I can't say I really think of you the same way anymore I'm sorry to say I will continue to give the remaining items for the zoon and that will be all the contact you will have with me unless I decide otherwise I hope you understand so we'll let time decide how I feel about this current situation until then please don't come up to me anymore unless it's to give you what I owe which seems kind of awkward now I know how it feels to be alone but I can't keep throwing away my pride little by little just to keep you satisfied you know what I mean there has to be an enough is enough at some point and I cannot continue to disgrace Myself by forgiving things that I never find forgivable in the first place I'd like for you to just completely leave me alone for a while until I can sort things out myself you understand it's not like I hate you but I don't see you in the same light anymore so just leave me be for a while let me try to recuperate with my few other friends and maybe we can just start from scratch sometime despite this message having a much more final perspective on Chris and Megan's relationship Ship by some unexplainable reason she still leaves a window open for possible reconciliation in the future Chris in his all- enduring Grace sees this charitable reluctance to completely cut ties with him is an opportunity to Cork out the gnarliest gigantic turd on it here's what he replied with I understand you may or may not have had much exposure to sexual images as I've had so the idea of a hand job which was the ACT drawn there as a part of outer course versus interourse was a surprise to you I'm sorry if it helps put things in perspective I can recommend finding information on the internet through this educational website I found through Adam eve.com or I recommend renting The 40-Year-Old Virgin that movie touches on some of the issues around SE and how it can really frustrate an older virgin who hasn't had the pleasure yet or I can loan you my copy of The 40-Year-Old Virgin the point is allowing yourself more exposure to se actx to make yourself more comfortable with that fact of life while I am on the verge of taking that encyclopedia dramatica page down I understand that there are a number of other web pages of hate against me and as much as I would like to be able to track down everyone and report them and get on the verge of taking them down as well someone else may put up another hate page up against me it's a fact of this modern world known as cyber bullying as for the drawings while I have shoved the text information down their throat in an attempt to drw them into submission there were too many images of pieces yet on there I drew drawings promoting vag to go against those di heads I did the drawing of sonichu fing rosich I did the drawing of Bubbles getting it from black sonichu I had the idea of pairing them up in the comic book anyway I did the drawings of Angelica and Mary Lee Walsh that witch hag masturbating and I did draw the drawings of me giving you a hand job from among my adult fantasies with your eyes censored to conceal your identity it was a massive step outside of my boundaries and I did it out of anger and I regret having done it and I'm really really sorry but we all do things in the heat of anger and or out of our boundaries that we end up regretting later no accountability whatsoever with the cherry on top being Chris implying the only reason she got upset was because she wasn't as seually mature as him to make matters worse a couple of days later after getting no reply from her for entirely just justifiable reasons he emails her again asking for her to help him out with the Ed page he also mentions he's been trying to remove or work around mentions of her in the article and his genius way of doing that is concealing her face by zooming into her vagina in the drawing this once again sparked Megan's ey who replied look my main issue is not the website itself it's just the fact that you drew those weird pictures instead of removing that one completely you just enlarg my crotch thanks a lot why didn't you just remove it I don't care how lonely you are I haven't had luck with relationships either but I don't boast about being a version with rage when you say things like that it just makes you sound like you're looking for someone to [ __ ] P.S I think it's rather amusing how you complain of these people defiling you yes many posts are ridiculous but you have defiled Mary Lee Walsh and our wonderful security officers who were simply doing their job then you defiled me and lied about it you need to stop with this mindset that the whole world's against you and start taking some responsibility for once example it's wrong to hate these people when you broke the rule by soliciting SL loitering hey at least they're doing their job and I support that in many instances during the general story there are moments where we can sympathize with Chris but this certainly is not one of them he continues to email her blaming everything on Ed and claiming he's the resistance against the alien dominators whatever that means worst of all he begins defending his drawing of she came for CWC jpeg saying as for the drawing itself I've realized that it was done not only out of inspired fantasy angst against Ed and love for you but also a major release for my crazy mixed up hormones if I didn't have the foresight to put my Pence up frustrations and feelings in the form of something I might have become an abusive Maniac so thank God for allowing me to release my bottled up frustrations and a more positive yet not so politically correct and not physically hurting others method so not only is he blameless for the actual drawing it's actually a good thing he did and should be thanking him for because if it weren't for she came for Quicky he might have raped her or something I don't know exactly what's being implied what a thing to admit to a girl you're supposedly in love with he follows us up with claims that he's suffering way more than she is to get her to pity him which does not work as intended I can't stress enough how disrespectful it is that he keeps acting like it's somehow Ed's fault he drew part of his friend if that wasn't bad enough his next email was him complaining to her that she brought the page up again describing the drawing as a little dirty detail they should both forget about and that in giving it so much attention she made his month stressful he also reiterated his lack of regret for drawing the image just in case it was understated in the previous one completely unaware of how deranged he sounds he closes it off with the following statements although I do understand your feelings and I can only respect your wish of staying away from you SOB SOB my heart still cries for you I'll always be worrying about you and I will always love you Megan Schroeder in order to display how contrite he is he edits Ed once again creating a gallery of images called you know what I hate me too consisting exclusively of drawings from sonichu wearin Chris was being beat up or hurt in some way this was not an effective strategy as a month later Chris and Megan shared their last email correspondence with Megan saying she wasn't interested in any more gifts from Chris and just like that Chris's most worthwhile acquaintance is alienated because he couldn't resist drawing himself fingering her and putting it up online after being baptized in the month of May Chris earns himself a permanent ban from the game place for reasons such as scaring the kids he played card games with taking his consoles with him into the store and hogging the TV with them singing Britney Spears during games among other things he tried to apologize and appeal the ban along with his parents to no avail as the manager of the game place Mike would just call the cops on them much later he had this to say about Mike he's hated my guts after multiple times borrowing the store's HDTV for console gameplay and in subtle retaliation I hand wrote on a cardboard box Michael loves the F out of Mary Lee Walsh I tried to protect myself when he found it weeks later after having wrote it I even convinced myself that the F meant fiddle sticks it originally meant [ __ ] that was why the son of a bit Jew kicked me out of the game place permanently after years of loyal volunteer service in the Pokemon TCG League I had apologized numerously before but he's still the pigheaded stubborn he was back then out of all of the isms Chris had expressed up until that point a dislike of the Jewish people was certainly a new one with both Megan and the game place now gone from his life he was in the darkest Place he'd ever been without any place to escape to and no one to vent to anymore Chris takes to YouTube to confront encyclopedia dramatica and a surrounding community over the article on him blaming them for his Fallout with Megan all the while very explicitly publicizing that the girl in the drawing he made was her which most of the time did not know the video was titled quickie second message and it was a certified golden age of YouTube classic in it Chris coins terms like pedop Forks when trying to defend him himself from pedophile accusations as well as proclaiming his love for China not the country but his staled way of saying vagina conclusively he threatens to never release the seventh issue of sonichu if the Ed page wasn't promptly taken down a little while later Chris would post another video requesting that people send hate mail to the creator of the page Jason closing the video with the iconic line as sure as I am to get at least 1 o of Aina I have your number and you're going down I should mention that for the duration of both of these videos Chris always held a PS3 controller as he spoke as if it were some kind of Regal staff through the rest of the month Chris made and uploaded more videos in the same vein dictating commands to an imaginary community of loyal followers telling them the latest sonichu news and teasing the new issue in the middle of August a now oxygenarian Bob would make an extremely depressing addition to his letter to Future Chris saying dear Christian at this time in life you and sonichu need a quest and purpose in life let sonichu become a champion for autistic persons everywhere and continually defeat The Perils of autism sonichu could become the spokesperson for autistic persons with an ongoing fight for them in chapter after chapter or Good Deeds on the internet he could become the spokesperson from now on you and sonichu could become famous worldwide Jesus I forgot how stupid this story is in a few ways you know Bob was right and Chris would become famous worldwide just not for being a good role model for autists during the same period Chris would establish contact with another girl through emails her name was Blanca and she took the initiative emailing him to show her OC character jiggly Amy a hybrid between Jigglypuff and Amy from Sonic of course they were lying and trolling and of course Chris fell for it hook line and sink her and within a single day he was telling her he was interested in a relationship not only that but he also asked her opinions on pory and asked her to get on webcam with him Mr Chan was in quite the hurry after uploading even more images of rosich drawn naked to the Ed article for no particular reason he does the unthinkable and sends nudes to Blanca for the sake of accur accy and journalistic integrity I should make it clear that this wasn't exactly Blanca he sent nudes to it was someone unrelated to the three trolls behind the original Blanca identity who took it upon himself to pose as her and ask him for nudes which Chris gracefully obliged I should also specify that these aren't your regular nudes but a closeup picture of Chris's penis with a sonichu drawn on it along with pictures of Chris wearing his mother's panties within a month of the nude being successfully acquired they went up on the Ed page much too Chris's topair who preemptively emailed his church to notify them of it Blanca's Myspace page would have its About Me section edited to say hello I am a large hairy homosexual black man in a pickle costume you love me pay no mind to my profile pictures this is the real me the message is followed by a picture of a man in a pickle suit and Chris's email to his church he says he was deceived and that Blanca was a troll but that was just posturing on his part as he would hang on to the obviously non-existent Blanca for much longer after this incident claiming she was real and exchanging emails with the other Blanca accounts it's also during this roller coaster a month that he briefly entertains the idea of a love triangle between him Blanca and another troll that claimed to be a Sarah Jackson unfortunately for Sarah Chris picks Blanca eventually drawing Sarah getting hit by a truck in one of the later issues of sonichu the Fallout of the nudes being sent was still going strong as a whole week later all of Chris's accounts were hacked and everybody in his contact list got a copy of the images meanwhile Chris got himself involved in yet another conflict with a troll this one called Jimmy Hill who was claiming to be the original Creator and IP holder of sonichu speaking of sonichu around the same time that the seventh edition of the comics were released online Chris one announced that a video game was in the works he announced it on his website saying with the sonichu franchise growing wildly with lots of energetic hype I'm ready to take sonichu in my world of Quicky Ville back to Nintendo of America and Sega of America and upon the unity in business between Nintendo the company provided me with my second gaming system the Game Boy after my very first Commodore 64 computer Sega the company who introduced Sonic the Hedgehog is not only my lifelong hero after the American rabbit but as the true role model icon I am proud to have learned some of my attitudes and beliefs from since 1991 and myself Christian Weston Chandler we will make sonichu and rosich Chu in their world being more real than I was able to make them by myself with pen and markers in hand and a vastly knowledgeable imagination you won't be able to truly say you've caught them all until you've caught the original sonichu and rosu and a quickie approved Nintendo Sega Pokemon lightning version on GBA and DS to catch a great share of the other currently available for 493 Pokémon and I have the idea for the video game myself if I can swing that with Sega as well an epic tale of my tragic adult life straight from my tortured heart and soul I will bring the pain to the jerk offs I will kick Mary Lee Walsh into her cauldron to burn as well as the other villains and I will have support from my electric hedgehogs my mother and father my closest gal pal who I've grown to love Megan Schroeder and Anna McLaren to name a few sparingly in the game I plan to have this game alone go multi console between Nintendo Wii PlayStation 2 and PlayStation 3 with downloadable content and all this can come to fruition with your help the populace of sonichu rosu and Christian Chandler fans all I ask for in minimum is to contact Nintendo of America and Sega of America by way of posting in their respective forums sending them emails and highly recommended handwritten letters to both companies that you want sonichu and that they should get in touch with me Christian Weston Chandler via telephone or snail mail or in person both companies have my information in their computers as I have written to them a number of times in my life in the wake of this catastrophe a brief opportunity to find Solace presented itself to Chris first his church got him in contact with a counselor a particularly patient woman called Rocky who began accompanying him from a distance through his Misadventures for whatever that was worth but that wasn't all someone had been emailing Chris for a while now a girl named Vivan ghee despite being a girl Chris never gave her his usual CWC treatment for a combination of reasons she never sent pictures or indulge in his delusions about sonichu as a matter of fact she was the one person who was always consistently realistic and bluntly honest about Chris's situation which scared him off like the plague since he only wanted enablers to count on and naysayers to antagonize while initially acting similar to the other trolls this quickly gave way to a much more sincere and concerned attitude towards Chris she was also deeply familiar with the sonichu comics and held them in a kind of Fascination even making audiobook Renditions of every single one of them in a strange way during this period Vivien was one of Chris's only friends if you could call her that on the day the news were leaked she emailed him trying to snap him out of his delusions I don't know where to begin I'm not even sure why I'm sending this to you listen to me listen no one gives to [ __ ] your pictures are now all on the internet for everyone to see tons of celebrities have nudes and they don't care they are way more popular than you'll ever be so don't get youring panties in a bunch there are no fans of sonichu sonichu is a bastardization of properties that belong to other people your entire comic is pretty much a bastardization of your life sonichu will never get anywhere quit your dreams of sonichu the game the comic merchandise everything now and if you still feel you need to be creative or whatever [ __ ] you say make something completely original don't base it off your life don't base it off stuff that exists just make something completely new if you quit sonichu and start working on your real life harder I'm sure you'll find success if you stay in your diluted Fantasy Land I don't know what you'll become you have never tried when it comes to women never you can't just sit around and wait for it to happen you have to make it happen if you can't muster up the courage to do that then you will never get a wife let alone a girlfriend there are places where single men and women go to I'll let you find them on your own in your area take off that Medallion I can't stress this enough if you do it will signify your Detachment from Sonu into a brighter future forget about all those haters they don't hate you they're trolling you they want to see you become this way don't you understand there's no reason for you to get upset at them that's what they want if they see you upset defeated angry you're just giving them Victory your latest Comics as a retaliation is a result of that and they love it they don't view it as an attack they view it as a victory if you feel you can't do any of this get a therapist get a real one ask your parents to send you to one do something about your life instead of B and draw comics about it Chris you've got a way to fall but you can change that this didn't even get a reply from Chris so you can imagine how successful an attempt to help him this was later on in the month Chris goes back and forth between dating Blanca and a new troll account called Panda and more images come out this time of Chris making sweet love to his officer nasty doll a Skype conversation of his with panda where they discussed was also leaked at this time from it we can glean that Chris believes that men have a limited amount of seen which Chris refers to as comeuppance same way women have a limited amount of eggs at this point Chris was well aware that everything he told anyone always ended up on Ed but since he wanted to keep lying to himself or pretending Blanca and Panda were real girls and not trolls he started pretending everything was due to him being hacked early on in October the trolls got him to mail her a sonichu medallion along with a heartfelt letter after receiving the package on October 9th it was instantly leaked online prompting Chris to make a video doing damage control saying that Blanca wasn't the one behind this but random trolls that lived in her area and intercepted the package he also lied about having gotten the medall back to make himself look like less of a loser this lie is dispelled on October 20th when a video is uploaded of the trolls cutting The Medallion up putting it in a pickle jar beating it with a hammer and finally burning it all together a day later Blanca broke up with Chris supposedly over the photo of him wearing his mom's underwear that the pickle man tricked him into taking the same day he releases an update declaration that he has reached his lowest low a few days later he was pushed into doing a Q&A with the people from his IRC chat and an attempt to get him in better spirits though this wasn't very effective after years of claiming to be lonely depressed upset and a heap of other negative emotions this is the first time Chris genuinely seemed completely despondent without the motivation to keep up his regular Spiel the only mention worthy thing from the Q&A is that he pretends he's met a girl in real life claiming he's kissed her and lost his virginity to her he quickly forgot he told this lie and resumed his Lamentations over the loss of blanca while Vivian ghee was still trying in vain to prove to him that she wasn't another troll the next two months are notably uneventful compared to the rest of the year other than a few q&as in his IRC chat and some conversations with panda right near the Year's End we have the founding of two online forums the sonichu girls fan club and gaze for sonichu it would still be a while before he said anything about the latter but just days after sonichu girls popped up Chris was already posting on it himself introducing himself and once again reigniting his sweet heart search his introductory post read yes it's your man of the way more than an hour I've read my accent slvo was a favored feature blush I've rarely thought my voice was that alluring although in my honest opinion it sounds like a direct mat to Sonic the Hedgehog anywhere from the classic and Sonic X shows and all games starting from Sonic Adventure and when singing I can have a Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby flavor yeah honestly I'm honestly don't even disagree honestly I don't know why I'm still single either even my own mother finds me handsome oh no no no no aside from the understood fact I feel that I'm truly in touch with my feminine side to the point where I capable of learning from that to better understand how to treat women in a caring nurturing positive way sometimes I Wonder between my caring attitude and the lack of a sweetheart if I was born the wrong gender I would wonder what life would have been like if I had actually been born a girl but afterwards I'd realize that I should still appreciate being born a boy to gentlemen God gave me the package and I signed for it and while it is true and I am not ashamed to admit it that I've seen my fair share of Po I have learned how to better positively treat a woman before during and after the ACT I would definitely stay until she woke up and I would call her back later to see how her day was and I would have put the seat up then back down when I used the restroom she would use later I care more about every woman's feelings and opinions over their body on the flip side I feel discomfort around men because they can be such mean and cruel jerks I should go on with what I detest about them but I will not stop to their level of Cruelty also I feel discomfort when shopping for underwear for myself they do not need models pictured on the package it grosses me out to see that thing it's bad enough that I sometimes see my own when I look down of which I don't feel as much discomfort but the very sight of others is like Kryptonite to me it makes me feel like throwing up even when the image randomly pops up in my head the the amount of foreshadowing is tremendous but the lack of self-awareness manages to be even more fantastic he genuinely believes that the sonichu girls Forum popped up organically and beyond that that there's a worldwide fan base out there somewhere at this point Chris Chan's popularity had significantly died down and with it a lot more disorganized trolls appeared the only people left behind were stragglers interested in where this story would go next and dedicated trolls who saw Chris's full potential and weren't keen on letting him slip away anytime soon 2009 held exponentially worse things for Chris the year started out slow with Chris doing very little besides continuing his work on new sonichu episodes and his correspondence with the sonichu girls on IRC which in reality consisted of multiple male trolls actively participating in groups testing a severely autistic man in his late 20s honestly the lengths people will go to to do it for the vine are astounding and sometimes funny and sometimes pathetic on the 5th of January Chris is contacted via emails by none other than shagaru mamoto the game director behind most of Nintendo's biggest franchises the troll behind this particular interaction was Clyde cash who later became the central troll in the quickie Saga at least for a period Chris fell for the shagaru bit especially since a few days prior to this email Clyde was already preparing the groundwork for it emailing Chris as tekashi tzika the general producer for Animal Crossing acting as if he wanted to feature sonichu in the next game the day after the shagaru email Chris was already announcing that sonichu and rosu would be an animal crossing Clyde was multitasking the trolling of Chris simultaneously posing his multiple different characters after establishing the connection with Nintendo he began emailing Chris as Greg Mae posing as another Nintendo employee that was in charge of updating the sonichu website with an appropriate redesign to market sonichu for Animal Crossing by doing this he finessed the admin password for Chris's site promptly logged into it changed the password and lock Chris out ladies and gentlemen of the Sonu fan base unfortunately due to uh a troll having uh found access to the uh database behind s.net it is temporary shut down and uh I cannot change the password at the moment Greg [Music] maze if you do not re-upload s.net back to the way it was before you even started I will come down at you and my lawyer man for Nintendo JayZ you're going to come down with his boys from Nintendo and the boys at Sega they're going to rain they're going to track you down his next email to Chris read as follows it is I Jason hendrik Howell if you ever want to see your beloved site restored you must meet my demands if you ever wish for me to hand over your beloved website you must announce your homosexuality to YouTube you must not reveal that I told you to do this otherwise you will never see your site restored you must detail how you've been kept in the closet for so long your search for a sweetthe heart as a cover up and why sonichu is so gay you must be angry of course you could always make a video proclaiming how straight you are either Choice gay or straight which will it be Chris quickly obliged I Chris Chandler am straight don't you forget it but this didn't satisfy Clyde's demands for a longer video wherein he explained why he was straight and totally not gay Chris once again applied so I tell so I tell you for sure and for true that I am straight I can tell and I can tell you why from my lifetime stories but I'll tell it to you in just a few short minutes anyway right so Christian Weston Chandler I am straight after this Clyde's next request is for Chris to upload a short video where he and his parents go over his accomplishments in life that video would never be made instead Chris's next upload was him denouncing the Ed page in forchan once again though what led him to rekindle this beef is unknown this lack of compliance with Clyde led to the site being hacked once again and an email he admits to Chris he isn't Jason Howell the creator of the Ed page Chris doesn't even quite absorb this information replying with threats instead about involving the police in the situation and praying to God in Jesus for Clyde's death while Chris continues to refer to him as Jason this led into a voicemail Chris left for the real Jason who had no idea what was going on or why he was receiving it first sa message Jason kendri you bastard bastard you H everything you have driv me so beyond the wall I can't even describe it you you goodby this would do nothing to stop all of sau's web presence along with Chris's personal account for being constantly hacked and vandalized in all sorts of ways because of this he sees Communications with the sonichu girls unknowingly ending their cryptic troll campaign however he only did this after sending all of them locks of his hair in plastic packets along with certificates of authenticity you know just just in case someone tries to make fake Quicky hair packets to sell on eBay he had to make sure people knew these were the real deal in the meantime over at the shagaru email situation because of all the hackings Chris's identity came into question and to prove that it was actually him and not a troll he made a video addressing the Emoto and showing his driver's license on camera Chris also made another update to declare that he continues to be straight as an arrow despite what his more recent outgoing emails may claim in order to prove his straightness he claims to have a subscription the Playboy and Stomps on the dildo he got from Adam and Eve a couple of days later in his IRC chat when Clyde accuses him of wearing women's underwear which Chris did do at least once Chris inexplicably decides to reveal the fact that he has and I quote numbers of pair of dirty crapped briefs amidst his claims to loathe PES and love boobs and vaginas Chris also claims that at those times it mostly slipped out without my knowledge in reference to his bowel movements during this time Chris Hardly did anything besides staying in those IRC chats interacting almost exclusively with trolls to a masochistic degree though a lot of it isn't worth getting into is it's mostly just Chris voluntarily exposing himself to verbal abuse at one point Clyde and Panda Chris's quote unquote girlfriend at the time cooperated to say that Clyde has raped Panda and that she's EXP ing a child I would say that's cruel if Chris hadn't flat ignored multiple people that told him Panda was a malicious troll because he'd rather believe he had a girlfriend if their objective was to freak Chris out they didn't quite accomplish the goal because he reacted nonchalantly even suggesting she should move in with Clyde since the child was going to need a father going as far as to say Clyde had proven himself to be a good man after repenting for hacking the sonichu site and being willing to let panda in the child move into his house I can barely believe the words coming out of my mouth right now for the majority of January Chris fluctuated between wholeheartedly believing that Nintendo representatives were in direct contact with him and trying to set up a meeting and being dubious of the whole thing and just admitting that the emails were once again the work of trolls on the 22nd Chris claimed to leave Washington for the meeting and after that he spent a few days offline which caused people to wonder if he managed to convince his parents to let him go there 5 days later he came back with another upload talking about how he spent the past few days with shagaru mioto which confirmed that Chris had just been lying soon after he admiss to Clyde over emails that this video was a lie and later on makes this same admission public publicly in a new video in it he blames the deal falling apart on Reggie fiz having an issue with a panty shot in Chris's PowerPoint presentation he made to pitch sonichu even implying that this meant Reggie was in some way opposed to heterosexuality he also makes several references to seeing them in court as if that was a remote possibility though it was probably Chris's wishful thinking at work trying to make himself seem important enough to Warrant lawsuits from the top brass at Nintendo a day later Chris took the video down retracting his statements and apologizing for this Behavior which I can only assume was some attempt to get back on Reggie and sheru's good graces in a recorded conversation Chris had the same day he mentions he often Ponders what his life would look like if he was born a woman saying that it would at least be better than his life was right now it's during this time that another troll enters the fold blue spike a 13-year-old boy who used his high-pitched voice to pretend he was a girl called Julie and this is possibly the most disturbing and horrible chapter of Christy at least early on while Clyde Cash stuck to tricking Chris into admitting he was gay which is relatively harmless blue Spike went much much further initially the Julie LARP consisted of nothing but acting as a potential sweetheart by the 13th of February an audio had surface of Chris and Julie having what can only be described as furry phone sex where Chris is sonichu and Julie is a cat I won't play the audio to spare you the psychological scarring that inevitably comes from it but as sonichu Chris electrocutes Julie's genitals seems to have a lactation fetish and can be heard manipulating a plastic cup at the end of this hellish event what's the plastic cup for you might ask well later on Chris explains quite explicitly I don't like to make a mess so when I come I have a clean plastic cup by my side and I just make sure to put all of my SE in the cup there after recycle I rinse the cup and dispose of it I recycle my own seen because you know yes I do masturbate I'm not ashamed to admit it as a lot of guys I'm sure have done the same thing in their time anyway I recycle it so that way I won't lose any unborn children then I can still have a good number of good count keep maintain that by recycling it though personally I've been getting sick of swallowing my own So lately I've been disposing of them where to begin so so Chris spends 20 minutes M rating while in character as as sonichu having phone sex with a 13-year-old boy pretending to be an adult woman pretending to be a cat furry just a few days later it happened again and this time blue Spike would notify other trolls that he'd be engaging in cyber with Chris and they took this opportunity to make four calls with Bob asking about Chris to try and cause Bob to walk in on it what are you doing nothing give me that crap now what's going on we get out of here no I will not people tell me that you're about to kill yourself on YouTube what what are you doing I'm not doing anything I me to wake your mother up and find out no then get out of here off that internet fine what is your trouble I'm not going to kill myself get away from that TV fine get away from the internet I'm cutting it down right now no dad no yes no what are you doing don't do it dad I'm going to shut this thing right down no yes no dad no stop go wake your mother up don't bother me okay go wake your mother up don't bother me go and wake your mother up you tell what's going on this thing is going to go down yes well initially this wouldn't succeed the trolls began claiming that Chris posted a YouTube video threatening to kill himself which prompted Bob to run as fast as he could to where Chris was at which was in the kitchen where the computer was you can imagine how traumatic of a situation this was for all parties involved honestly I understand that a lot of things that happened in the late 2000s and early 2010s only happened because the internet was a wildly different place but this crosses multiple lines trolling Chris by telling him you're the original creator of sonichu is one thing but having cyber sex with someone as mentally debilitated as him borders on unspeakable besides blue Spike eventually said he was having phone with Chris pretty much every night I mean for what what was the point in doing that exactly and where were this kid's parents how can you be motivated to do that at just 13 years old and how could the other trolls be okay with this kid simultaneously subjecting himself and Chris to this hell all of this is beyond unexplainable and I doubt will ever get a good explanation Bob managed to spare himself from ever knowing the full extent of what was going on that night is when he walked in Chris instantly stopped what he was doing understandably having his sleep Disturbed he was mad at Chris and delivered the line he's probably the most famous for get away from the internet I'm cutting it down right now which earned him the nickname The Lumberjack Days Later another audio of this same kind was leaked all the while blue Spike continued to share a Skype conversations with Chris and everyone else on the 20th of February the results of another of blue spikes Julie Antics became public as some kind of private tantalizing display for her Chris made love to his body pillow of Kimmy filmed it and emailed it to her the video is 8 minutes long and it's available on YouTube and audio format though I doubt that anyone would be interested in suffering through it it was originally uploaded to an adult website say it where it received over 3 million views that's no small feat seeing as I have a hard time cracking that number myself if only Chris had the mind to use his autistic superpowers for good but the abject cruelty is not over yet in order to cover up the obviously deliberate leaking of Chris's tape Julie claimed that the leaker was her abusive older brother Max immediately following this new development in the Julie Cannon a new narrative was created Max had kidnapped Julie and took her to the headquarters of the miscreant the name for the group of trolls that blue Spike was a part of what he was planning to do with her was not clear but the conclusion was that in order to save her Chris would have to drive to Cleveland Ohio this Herculean task was mostly discussed in his IRC chat with the trolls though at this point the line was being blurred between trolls and people who interacted with Chris out of a genuine infatuation with him even if coded in irony while some people were all for pushing Chris to do this trip whether because they thought it would amount to anything beyond an inconvenience for him or that he wouldn't do it at all and just pretend he did or other people were becoming a tad more hesitant about this particular Mission the drive to Ohio would be 7 hours long as Chris had to drive 400 miles this was a cause for concern since as you might have noticed Chris is severely autistic and not quite the street smart survivalist if he were to encounter some serious trouble along the way he certainly would not be able to fend for himself like a normal person additionally an interstate car trip on the highway is a very different Beast than driving around your little Hometown in your mom's car which was the totality of Chris's Driving Experience according to Bob himself another person with whom Chris discussed the trip to Cleveland Ohio was the co-founder of sonichu girls Sarah May in this conversation Chris says I've been planning my trip to go to Cleveland to meet and escort to Virginia Julie I received much support in the trip not only from my online fans including yourself but also from God Jesus and the spirits of my aunt Karina as I touched her hand before they closed her casket even these Spirits from my past Weston family members who were buried at the same church including my grandparents and my great-grandparents I'm using money I got on my birthday for the trip I'm leaving tomorrow morning I have a road map for Eastern USA directions to Julie and from App Quest I have set aside six changes of clothes and I'm not informing my mother and father until the last minute with a note and photocopy of my printed directions and the portion of my road map with a mark path confidentially I have about $45 in my bank 16 in my wallet my phone will be fully charged and I have a freshly filled take of gas on the morning of the 26th of February precisely at 5:30 which is the exact hour that Chris was born he left his Ruckersville home to head for Ohio ignoring his parents' concern that this was some kind of elaborate troll or To Catch a Predator operation upon waking up and finding the note he left behind Bob and Barb notified the police and filed a missing person's report in feared that he would get himself killed on the trip the ride to Ohio would be mostly uneventful and when he was crossing state lines and passing a toll booth Chris managed to lock himself out of his own car luckily someone else at the toll booth had triaa and called on them to help Chris get back in his car in a fateful coincidence his other stop on his way to saving Julie was to get a hamburger at a restaurant called Sonic eventually he made it to the random Address given as Max and Julie's residence but all he found was a beat up old house where an old black lady lived with no sign of his sweetheart or her abusive brother fortunately this trip was harmless for Chris and after calling his parents he headed back to Ruckersville getting home at about 3:00 in the morning despite how much trouble he got in with his parents who threatened to leave him homeless if he ever did anything like that again and despite the money he wasted and the fact he was tricked into going there Chris himself eventually came to hold quite the positive outlook on it saying he enjoyed the sights as he drove after a safe return he had one last conversation with blue Spike where he related his story of the trip While Blue Spike struggled to believe he actually went to Ohio the conversation shows that Chris continued to be in the dark about Julie being completely fake even after the trip promptly Marsh began with his left foot someone from Ed produced postcards with frames from Chris's tape with Kimmy and sent them to Bob who took away Chris's ability to make videos which is quite fair and should have been done a long time before it came to this just two days after this another absolute tragedy happens also due to malevolent Deeds of blue Spike on the 3rd of March Chris gets in a call with Julie Max Clyde and few other people the circumstance now was that Max had control over Chris's PSN account his Yahoo email and the login information of sonichu and rosich chu.com by threatening to sell his accounts on eBay and send Julie back to Europe which is where she came from According to the lore Max gets Chris to do his bidding the particulars of this began mildly having Chris declare Billy Mays one of the other trolls as the mayor of quickvens imprisoned however things would go downhill in a way that every other troll didn't expect and weren't okay with in the middle of this hourong torture session Max begins demanding that Crest either burn The sonichu Medallion or cut it up into pieces and introduce them into his butt throughout this entire ordeal blue Spike's Psychopathic mean-spiritedness came off towards Chris as extremely off-putting and the other trolls had intervene telling him to stop what he was doing as it went way past any line imaginable blue Spike would follow it up with telling Chris to burn his house down which Chris immediately resisted against and the other people in the call once again intervened after all of that Julie finally made an appearance only to start telling Chris that she had had something to tell him Chris went along with it only for blue Spike to finally make the long overdue reveal stating that all of this time Chris had been having phones to they 13-year-old boy Chris reluctantly absorbed the information while the now fully revealed blue Spike accused him of being a pedophile and that Chris Hansen would have him arrested when blue is about to start up another narrative about how Julie died in the Wildfire like many of Chris's other faux girlfriends Clyde decides that enough is enough and chimes in in an attempt to get Chris to understand what had just happened he says now you're going crazy okay they don't have to do the whole Wildfire thing shut the hell up look Chris there are more things to life than your PS3 and whatever your whole internet life has been a lie there are no sonichu fans nobody gives two [ __ ] about you the best thing you could do is go outside for the love of God okay shut up blue Spike he's been fooled so many times what is this the ninth time so far you know when people have told you this that blue spike is a boy I can't believe how many times and you still believed there are very few moments in chrisy as grueling as this one thankfully it seems Clyde's mess message got back to Chris even if just a little bit after being ill for a little while and asking for his fans to attack blue Spike Chris takes up contact with another girl named Emily and on the 19th of March he's chaperoned by his father for a date with Emily at the mall sure she was also a troll who orchestrated the whole thing and plann to head to wear a wire during the date to record it but at least this time it would be in real life the video of this incident is scan and Emily's face is obscured however we have the audio of the entire thing from it we learned that the whole thing lasted for a little over an hour and that though the date was was Chris's it got completely hijacked by Bob who began talking to Emily way more than Chris did the date ends when a man dressed up in a pickle costume arrives at their table and invites Emily to go to the Watchmen movie which greatly disturbs and upsets Chris while Bob is mostly just confused about the situation after the date he calls her up but not before he receives hookers at his door ordered by Clyde cash later on in March Chris uploads himself giving a tour of his house as well as a video of him singing a song wherein he declares his love for farting Chris also mentions Megan but only to ask for trolls to stop bothering her after the end of the Julie Arc Chris moves towards another potential sweetheart by the name of Ivy he also pledges to leave YouTube forever though just a week later he returns announcing his new website shortly after this he makes another video greeting Ivy which is paired with yet another video this time of him kissing Kimmy the six doll with an image of Ivy tape to her face the first half of April is more or less calm with Chris uploading a few funny videos such as this one where he pretends to be some kind of Irish Easter Bunny by the 16th the Mis crean leak three videos they obtained directly from Chris by pretending to be girls one where he's drinking his own mixed with Fanta one where he's spanking his own naked ass and lastly one where he's dancing around naked in his filthy shower stall while absolutely depressing Chris takes these in stride as just a day later he uploads another video kissing Ivy's face on Kimmy it's also in the month of April that the long-forgotten Christian and the Hedgehog boys drop a comeback album other than that we have a potential Mar marriage proposal for Ivy and a couple of other leaked videos of Chris displaying his raw strength to attract possible mates I have the power we will now be watching the strong man lifting a very heavy office chair note the chair weighs a grand number of pounds hell now we will be seeing the strong man lifting the same chair but with a very heavy basket full of junk in the chair I watch you a man B Tucket as well as a video of him sprinting naked in his room which I can't show you but you can imagine how graceful it is one of this month's highlights is a comic Chris Drew for Ivy of himself about to begin intercourse with his giant ding-dong of course these instances of trolling are much more light-hearted than what preceded them when informed that a little girl called bear with me here their words not mine ching chong stumbled across the videos leaked of him doing those egregious things Chris felt compelled to explain himself and so he did in the couple of videos he posted he says the things he did were normal and good and Ivy the person whom he admits was the reason at least one of the videos was made is definitely a real girl and not a troll and that they soon will meet up in real life and have sex and it will be awesome one of the videos got linked to the website farc where it got over 200,000 views this landed him in the public eye of mainstream media a few of his videos were being Fe featured on a Boston radio station while his admission to drinking his own was being discussed on an LA radio station Chris Chan's Fame had gone Nationwide but he had no idea as while this was happening he was too busy drawing a comic of himself marrying Ivy as well as a few of himself as Sonic having explicit with a Sonic furry version of Ivy he also attempts to put his autobiographical article on Wikipedia but it gets taken down and he subsequently protests by the 15th his relationship with Ivy quietly ends as he takes down all the videos mentioning her and Clyde announces that they broke up later on Clyde goes into detail about what caused the breakup it was revealed during this time that Chris had gone to the police because of Josh and with Rocky as previously stated Chris kept mentioning going to the police but I didn't think he'd actually do so as that would entail explaining things to his parents also Bob and Barb have always been extremely afraid of the authorities Bob hid the vast majority of troll material from Barb the breaking point for Bob and Barb had been Josh he had sold Chris a PSP with a non-existent feature for a higher price than a normal PSP while Josh was scamming Chris Chris scammed Josh back by giving him a bad check Bob and Barb ended up greeing to go to the police with Rocky to catch Josh and only Josh they agreed only to discuss matters regarding Josh as they were handling Clyde and the other trolls on their own terms taking advantage of the situation Rocky blindsided Bob and Barb at the station by monopolizing and domineering the police's help she pushed for the authorities to investigate all the trolls and Ivy as well despite his parents protest Rocky went against their wishes and ignored their harbored anxiety needless to say I was pretty pissed while Bob and Barb and Josh continued their Feud over a PSP I broke up with Chris over his betrayal fun fact this Josh character happens to be one of Chris's oldest acquaintances having attended these same speech therapy classes as him during their childhood well this was going on quickie.com Chris's sight of the time got hacked and messages attacking Chris began being displayed on it 4 days later the site went down and the Revelation that ivy2 was a troll prompted Chris to upload a video to his YouTube channel saying that from now on he would only be taking real life encounters with women into consideration when it came to find a sweetheart too little too late a few days later his drinking confession Finds Its way to the at the time Infamous OPI and Anthony show which was nationally syndicated in one of the largest comedy shows in the US it's unsure if Chris ever found out that this happened but if he did it certainly contributed to the delusions of grandeur he was already harboring at the tail end of May Chris tries to engage in his love quest on Craigslist but his ad gets taken down for racism in June his YouTube account gets hacked and the hackers reupload the video where he admits to being gay which he was to worst in the first place into making by Clyde when Chris gets a hold of his account he immediately deletes it in favorit multiple Britney Spears videos to prove how straight he is later on in the month he uploads a song called don't trust any homos over there a spoof of a similarly named song from The Boondocks hello my name in uus no relation I'm going to sing y a song I just made up it's called don't trust any homos over there sing along if you know the words trust any homos over there leaving their homo stank in the air them Sapp Flappy dumb homos with their n finger on the trigger don't trust any homos over there once again in his attempt to attack gay people he throws some racism in for good measure also he appears not to know how to upload a video not recorded from his camera and his manually holding up a sign that says this video is Audio Only besides this the month is pretty scarce of any salacious occurring other than Chris drinking his first ever alcoholic beverage and a pretty strong one at that meanwhile possibly one of if not the best Chris trolls makes his debut in the latter half of June cchan sonichu CWC better known as liquid Chris despite sharing essentially no similarity with Chris Chan besides his last name liquid Chris decided to make the account to claim that he was the real CWC in early July he uploaded a video formally denouncing the original Chris Chan whom we'll be calling solid Chris whenever both him and liquid are being discussed I'm multaneously initially solid Chris chose to ignore this either out of laziness or because Rocky his adviser from church helped him avoid needless conflicts online at this time Larry Bundy Jr or Guru Larry as his channel is called conducted an interview with Chris and began uploading selective excerpts online in this interview Chris is decidedly uncooperative and not his usual energetic self though it's unknown if this was accidental or done intentionally by Chris to appear as more of an unfaced Diva who's used to being interviewed Rocky's efforts however effective they may have been at other moments came up short on the 17th of July when Chris uploaded multiple videos attacking random trolls calling them the RW which Chris previously denounced prior to this and also telling them to keep themselves safe the thing is the people that Chris was targeting in these messages had already closed their accounts by the time the videos went up so this was completely gratuitous because of the not exactly terms of service friendly rhetoric Chris was espousing his channel was shortly terminated thereafter a day later he makes a new channel called IBA Chandler and he makes a post titled A near public apology where he tries to get forgiveness for his past actions of attacking those users the real motivation for doing this was because his PSN kept being hacked and he was trying to appear krite to get it back however the trolls noticed that Chris wasn't wearing a sonichu medallion in the video which in Chris chanism meant that he wasn't being sincere after more videos of Chris drinking came out a picture of Chris with the lady servfaces on the v-board of forchan though little is known of her or the precise context of this image along with this shift in demeanor the Chris Chan classic Roland and trolling comes out which is widely seen as one of the more positive moments in this story all right we're coming to you live from quickfi today we're over at the quickfi Pavilion the Hedgehog boys and uh Master Christian mayor he uh dig for day perform here every Friday night and uh and it draws a crowd it's very good you know in it Chris displays some self-awareness about the fact that he's an online phenomenon for being who he is and plays into the theory that he had been a troll all along though it's evident he's just pretending Chris tries his hardest to sound like a normal guy in his 20s with a regular voice instead of his usual high pitch register and no sonichu Medallion on even if he was Coos to doing this which he most likely was as this doesn't really seem like an idea he'd come up with himself the video shows that Chris is well aware he's an unusual guy as he can approximate how an actual normal person behaves better than you'd expect for a myriad of reasons many people see this video as the Canon ending to Chris's story Little did he know that this little ruse of his was playing right into liquid Chris's campaign a couple of days after roling and trolling Chris uploaded another video dispelling it because a troll threatened to cut off his disability checks due to his claims to have a job in his lar as a normal man after liquid Chris supposedly sold some sonichu merchandise at an anime convention solid Chris decides enough is enough and makes a video addressing his counterpart in it he deres the fact that sonichu merch being sold of the convention was made out of paper when he the true and honest Chris Chan only ever makes medallions out of clay as the Embers of the conflict against liquid Chris slowly grew into a raging fire solid battle to reclaim his PSN account from hackers rageed da and he kept being coerced into making humiliating videos one of these videos which leaked to the v-board contains Chris humping his PS3 while declaring Sony and Playstation the winners of the console Wars against Xbox and Microsoft approaching the end of July solid Chris posted a video of himself playing More Than A Feeling in Guitar Hero which then prompted liquid Chris to reply with footage of himself playing the same song but on an acoustic guitar people were taking liquid Chris's side in Mass to RI left solid Chris even making version versus Chad type meme images mocking the real Chris and acting as if liquid Chris was was the original one and the creator of sonichu this culminated in solid Chris shaving his goatee in the apply titled video it took me weeks to perfect that goatee but it will grow back because for whatever reason that would prove that he is the authentic one I guess this isn't ever really explained and of course it did nothing to sway the people swarming his comment sections saying liquid Chris was the real one to deliberately annoy him so solid proceeded to challenge liquid to a battle on singstar which if you don't know is a competitive karaoke game for Playstation for most of the first half of August they squaring off for a total of five rounds in his entry for the third round liquid Chris took advantage of the fact that solid's online handle was IBA Chandler and decided to allege that his real name was Ian Brandon Anderson this led every troll under the sun to instantly pack solid's comment sections with mentions of Ian which deeply irritated his narcissistic sensibilities no matter how desecrated and disfigured the reputations and images of quickie and sonichu were he wanted to be the center of the attention it got regardless of whether it was negative or positive in order to preserve a himself solid went even as far as shedding his pride pointing out that if liquid Chris was the real one he'd be a lot more challenged and I'm paraphrasing here because Chris uses the RW to refer to himself in the video where he does this he claims that liquid Chris's real name is Jeff while acting like his dad somehow got in touch with a task force to settle this matter once and for all and that all liquid had to do in order for solid to call them off was to admit that he wasn't the original creator of sonichu as you can imagine this didn't have very much of an effect as solid's threats were obviously unfounded after liquid's fifth entry to the competition solid drops one of the most memorable highlights of his YouTube content succinctly dubbed Chris Chandler and another thing I name is not Ian Brandon something I am Christian Weston Chandler so get it through your damn fing skull and call me a real name that that God that's been given to me and up there at Regency Square shopping center during 19 89 you damn [ __ ] bastard apparently he was deeply irritated that liquid hadn't done the entire song but opted to just do a portion of it and then do commentary whenever he isn't comically raging about being called Ian Brandon Anderson he's once again threatening liquid with some type of unspecified legal action though it's a virtual certainty solid never actually went through the hassle of registering Sonu is his intellectual property so it's not a very credible threat is it he also reiterates that The Medallion is made of cray Model Magic and not paper which only signify how much importance he attributes to the exact composition of the sonichu artifacts like it must be made of just the right combination of materials or else it cannot be consecrated as truly sonichu a few days later solid Chris posts yet another video saying all of the same things but this time without the rages probably due to some counseling from Rocky who informed him that screaming and throwing Tantrums like a 10-year-old doesn't do him any favors with the trolls well he certainly noted as most likable this month is punctuated with a post from Chris where he expresses his dis gust and disapproval of some fan art that was sent him which included Goro it's a category of not safe for work stuff that includes grotesque themes and Chris specifies that the fan art of sonichu that was sent to him included pedophilia surprisingly this has been one of the things that he's been the most consistent on over the years despite the blue Spike occurrence he also claims to have the mind of a family man and Compares himself to Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin as if that was necessary to justify his opposition to drawn CP approaching the middle of August the winner of the singstar challenge is to be declared based on the votes of six judges and liquid and solid each get to pick three most likely due to the influence exercised by trolls one of solid's Judge picks chose liquid giving him the win by 4 to2 liquid uploads a video celebrating his win and at this point he's become extremely good at impersonating the real Chris's mannerisms in way of speaking after a few days of Silence Chris decides to manifest himself only to claimed that the contest was never to decide who was the real Chris but just for fun obviously because he lost behind the scenes Chris was furious at the gal pal Katie Bay who voted for liquid emailing her saying you know yourself after the extensive online history that I am the real deal so why did you final vote for that brown impostor I am on an emotional Edge right now and I apologize for raising my voice like that I implore you Kate please change your vote I had just dedicated two White Strip songs for you during a recent kcwc light everything lunch hour sigh stay safe Christopher Christian W Chandler unfortunately for Chris votes couldn't be changed and the result was set in stone for a while he was noticeably affected by this behaving a lot more irritable and vengeful towards people Vivian ghee who had been remarkably amicable to him in emails would once again start getting Chris's negative attention for promoting DVDs of her audio books of sonichu he commented on a YouTube video of her saying and you Vivian I liked your book but I'll be damned if I'm going to let you get away with that counterfeit lawbreaking stunt Christian W Chandler to which viven laconically replied it ain't lawbreaking bro on August 14th liquid Chris respectfully bows out of being an active Chris troll with the in Universe explanation that he would be focusing his Endeavors on turning sonichu into an acclaimed media franchise this once again aggravated solid to no end as he would publish yet another di tribe screaming his personal information at the top of his lungs to prove he was the real him this is also the source of the curse yeh hameha video played earlier but we'll play it again right here just for good measure K hameha it appears that Chris takes the Cur hameha much more seriously than everyone else did as soon after delivering it he becomes remorseful and fears that it was too great a punishment for liquid and decides to issue a retraction and forgive Chris for his past misdeeds we stand a merciful King as Clyde had previously mentioned Bob and Barb purposely decided to not involve anyone else in the troll situation claiming that they were dealing with it on their own terms partly this was because they didn't want anyone else finding out how inept and negligent they were in regards to their son's obvious special needs but to an extent it's also because they didn't know how bad it was most likely due to Chris downplaying or straight up not telling them about it the Chandler family strategy or lack thereof when it came to handling trolls was compelled to change after Bob found out Chris has uploaded two tours of their house which revealed where they lived in emails Chris said because of my month-old mistake referring to the house tour my mother took away my car keys my driver's license trapping me in the house that love built but years later chaos ensued SOB mom and dad are both very angry with me I'll call my detective tomorrow I don't know you have in with the trolls please see if you can talk to them into helping me remove that footage off the internet I know the be too damn stubborn stupid and cocky to help but any port in a hurricane feeling dizzy I got to get back to searching on YouTube for the similar videos and flagging them rally the good loyal troops yet another major reason to take down that Ed page because they probably have all that [ __ ] on there as well and all it took was one troll calling my house and telling my father about seeing a portion of his wall of Records in pictures the same day Chris takes this concern to YouTube in quite the peaceful fashion it's not even to serve a Captain's Log introduction because this is dead serious the inside and outside tour I did a few months ago at my house everyone on the internet my mother and my father are angry at me they're blaming at me it's my fault I admit it's my fault I want everything about my house off the internet I'll send in detectives I'll send in police I'll send in everything in my power so yeah please get everything off of the internet now now now now no no curse the trolls peace everybody El you might have noticed the strange jump cut in the middle of the video that's because there is a full uncut version of it which was leaked by Vivian ghee just a few days later after the upload in this extended version Bob walks in and begins explaining to Chris that the reason he's pissed off at him for exposing the house isn't just that it violates their privacy but due to how filthy and unkempt their living conditions were due to the fact they were hoarders the health department of Green County could condemn the house to be demolished and they'd be evicted and left homeless because of this leak along with their previous Deeds Chris was furious at Vivien expressing his wish that she suffers a heart attack and subsequently blocking her concominant Chris reveals in emails that he had recently begun applying for retail jobs like Target in Walmart probably in order to suo his parents qualms about how much time he spent on the internet however he stressed out about potentially losing his disability checks when he looked for a job Chris discovered he really enjoyed wearing sports bras describing it as a guilty pleasure at the same time he'd been using comment sections to single that he was suffering from something like split personality disorder and that his alter was a homosexual asking to come out of the closet for quite some time now he had been talking to one of his gal Pals about how he thought he had did which is a bad Omen that his mental health started deteriorating again in the middle of September Chris finally registered sonichu as his copyright property after around a decade of working on the project he also puts up two of his Guitar Hero guitars for sale on eBay which is a sign that he was either having to clear out his room or that he needed some money for whatever reason near the end of September another of Chris's drawings gets leaked this one of him having a four some which included a black girl signifying that he's overcoming his racial issues at last also Al the girls with whom Chris is enjoying himself are the members of his Guitar Hero band according to him while September was somewhat of a more quiet month as Chris was putting his nose to the grindstone as far as work on sonichu was concerned October was full of interactions with trolls on the first of the month Barbara contracted kidus and as soon as this news mitted to Chris's online following the telephone game turned that to AIDS which upset Chris prompting him to post it to YouTube and an attempt to dispel the AIDS rumors as well as to defend himself against allegations that he was gay for the eenth time he also o post this comment under a clip of Megan from Family Guy Megan has always looked good and here she is really hot even better than when she had her makeover if Seth would let her turn 18 I'd be all over her sweet p in breast wham bam thank you ma'am this moment is not particularly important I just wanted to share my pain with you guys frankly moving on from here we have a deranged video of Chris wigging out and breaking things in his room as well as throwing them at the camera this fit of rage was most likely prompted by his conflict with Clyde cash which were still going on and developing into multiple threats and invitations to a real life physical fight between the two later on in the month Chris makes an attempt to Blackmail by blowing smoke at Clyde suggesting that he may have some kind of compromising picture of him and demanding that Clyde stop the trolling of course Clyde cses Bluff and nothing happens as predicted in his attempts to be intimidating Chris does some flexing of his massive guns and even attempts to do 30 push-ups while listening to Eye of the Tiger he does manage it but it's noticeable that he set up the camera in such a way to conceal the fact that he had his knees on the ground the whole time which made every single push-up way easier though not easy enough considering he's grunting through the entire thing during October there's a brief Return of the liquid versus solid conflict to fight for the heart of Casey a mutual love interest of theirs and the month closes with solid Chris making a video addressed to her parents saying how much of a better boyfriend he would be instead of liquid for context Casey was Liquid Chris's real life girlfriend he was roped into the trolling campaign and played along after a 2-hour long phone call with her retired Marine father in which solid is humiliated for being a narcissistic and entitled Manchild he uploaded Sonu special number four in which he shoots liquid Cris in The Shins and gets together with Casey this culminated in another call this time between Casey and solid Chris that lasted for about a half an hour for the first 20 minutes Casey is reiterating what her father said which really puts solid in distress however this distress doesn't hold a candle to how he gets when liquid Chris joins the call a shouting match instantly erupts with solid losing his marbles every time he's referred to as Ian Brandon Anderson it's interesting that when other trolls call him this name he can keep his rage in without much of an issue but liquid saying it immediately gets under his skin insult is added to injury when liquid calls him fat which solid strictly denies despite the evidence suggesting otherwise things really come to a head when liquid says he in case he made passionate love at solid's house at which point solid decides to wake up Bob and Barb to get them to fight liquid for him mind you this call took place in the middle of the night and this mad man actually woke up his parents to vicariously attack an Internet troll for him the call comes to an end with Casey declaring she will marry liquid Chris one more call was made after this and Casey continued to carpet bomb solid Chris with the truth she tells him he won't make it past 30 and that just like every other potential sweetheart before her Chris will immediately forget about her as soon as she's gone going back to his usual routine of playing video games and being a general man babyy while Chris does nothing but sigh after liquid in Casey's marriage Chris actually did try and muster up some kind of genuine Melancholy even posting a video of himself doing his best to cry on camera as Casey predicted however he was back to his usual self the day after a little while after this he shoots Vivian ghe in email with a very different tone now that I finally have peace of mind I apologize for the past unali and emotional outbursts and past Communications I have decided I will fully approve your continued audiobook videos and sales but in return I ask for 25% of all the money changed to USA currency you have and will have made from all that you have put together and sold as well as two copies of each CD and DVD of the audio books and two of each other additional merchandise aside from the audio books I extend an olive branch of peace and I await your wellth thought response have a good safe day Miss Viv initially Vivian is doubtful that this all business act that Chris was putting on had anything behind it in order to have him prove himself she sent him an email detailing the kind of things he'd have to do if he ever wanted to make sonichu anything besides the schizophrenic Doodles on his website she began pressing him on emails asking him how he spent his time telling him to get new pages of sonichu done every day suggesting new ways to Market and promote it it's actually impressive that someone actually put time and effort into trying to make sonichu into a thing because despite Chris's psychotic obsession with inserting it into every facet of his life and clinging to it as his magnum opus he was more than comfortable to let it just fester in obscurity for the rest of 09 Chris was cooperative with Vivian's efforts to whip him into something resembling an actually productive artist even if he frequently failed another thing Vivien pushed him to do is start taking and responding to fan mail even if most of the mail won't be coming from actual fans surprisingly based on the mail from the first edition of the mail bag most of the interactions were pretty positive towards Chris even if occasionally trollish and ironic until the end of 2009 he would do around 30 mailbag entries and and this proved successful at keeping his following engaged and interacting with the content while things began running a bit more smoothly on the sonichu end of the CWC operation his YouTube was as erratic as ever upon Vivian's request he posted himself doing parkour to promote sonichu except he calls it paret and just does some light jogging also due to some interactions from the mail bag Chris also begins to attack the idea that Asperger syndrome is in any way related to autism and to this day it's not clear why he takes offense to that concept as if people who suffer from Asbergers are somehow trying to attract attention away from autistic people autism Stolen Valor he takes this seriously enough to write an entire article about it good day I Christian Weston Chandler of sound mind and body type the following from honest personal opinions and I apologize for all offensive remarks I'll be making the statement Asbergers is nothing at all like autism I have stated this fact over and over in my replies to messages from people who tell me otherwise I feel very sick and tired of hearing that false rumor that the two are anything to full similar firstly I can verify that I was diagnosed with autism with papers in my parents filing cabinets and I quote Mr Chandler is a 22-year-old man with a history of Developmental delays in autism despite these limitations he seems to have been quite successful in maximizing his academic abilities despite significant delays in language he has over the years developed relatively effective communication skills and with that I have not only helped cultivate the first generation of autistic people but I have gone beyond the autistic dreams Academy communicatively and socially still I have trouble maintaining eye contact my mentality is sometimes slow yet quick at other times the people who first evaluated me ever even stated that I would never even make it to high school much less even write his name take that and smoke it oldest doctors and those with Asbergers dare to try and take the shine and Limelight away from us autistic people not only with their social flaws and such possibly similar traits to autism but to shun Us autistics by being better communicatively and mentally than us I have received a message from one who dared to call me normal in comparison to him if anything the asger people are and have been normal they think they can one up or even match autism with the lack of social capability and their clumsiness and such those characteristics can be faked by them who are most normal compared to us true autistic people even their title is flawed Asbergers it can be misconstrued into a most terrible cut of meat from any animal even something that can be picked nasy I have fought long and hard to make a stand for the autistic people I will most certainly not let these imposters steal the true original title of autistic from any of us victory over autism belongs only to us true autistic people you would never expect a mentally disabled guy to find a way to be ableist I guess but Chris Chan has no limits to add to his war against Asbergers he creates an extra mail bag called autism mailbag dedicated solely to blowing up on anyone that tries to inform him on what Asbergers actually is on the ninth Chris makes a video complaining about how trolls bought up all the ad space on quickie pedia a site created to document all of his adventures only to use them to display gay ads this complaint only served to make the problem worse is the gay ads that were on the we site were removed only to be replaced by more gay ads along with images of pickles to terrorize Chris even further besides this the video also has him asking for ,000 EUR from his European fans and then pitching a sonichu themed episode of Family Guy to Seth McFarland who some trolls said was considering making an episode with CWC in it his pitch consisted of an elaborate crossover that concluded in CWC dating Meg and he was confident enough that Seth would watched the video that he left his phone number in the description which obviously was exclusively used by trolls who wanted to harass him and never used by Seth McFarland to get this deal of a lifetime together in the midpoint of the month Chris decided that the Hedgehog Boys music wasn't enough for him anded he tried out being a solo rapper his first song called iPods down and listen up has him describing himself non-consensually making love from the perspective of an animal not kidding here are the lyrics I tell you what ladies I have a game Let's Play jungle fever I'm the manly tiger you're the Sleek sexy Panther I pounce on you you Runa away I haven't missed but I chase anyway and and we Chase for a while and then you wear out and you take it like a gal and then we pump until we'll have your little tiger Panther Cubs to top it all off he finishes the song by shouting out Viagra a few days later he posted another rap this time in full Jugo Garb but this one isn't original and just a cover of an already existent song the year closes with Chris expressing his discontent at the people managing the Wikipedia because they wouldn't allow him to edit it to his liking which meant removing anything that wasn't sacarin sonichu worship the year of 2010 begins with the ads once again being replaced this time with comics of asperchu a troll campaign designed to do to sonichu what Chris did to Sonic and Pokemon copyright abuse and plagiarism the tweaks made to the character in order to keep it original were also selected to maximize the amount of anger in Chris the name of the character asperchu is because he suffers from Asbergers so if Chris were to accuse it of being derivative of the CWC extended Universe he would also be guilty of likening Asbergers to autism which he would hate with the success that liquid had it infuriating Chris by imitating him the Comon of copying Chris with aspergers was sure to be effective the ads on the website even had depictions of asperchu and sonichu with some degree of homosexuality suggested which ensured the CWC stamp of approval meanwhile Chris quietly established contact with another girl and though he tried to keep it private so the trolls wouldn't get to it he couldn't help himself and began name dropping her in his videos in a lot of ways this girl was Megan's successor though her Communications with Chris were a lot less cogent and lasted less as well while Chris kept pushing for them to date and being a general weirdo she kept herself at a safe distance on the YouTube end of things having a new good intentioned galp pal did nothing to calm his anger as after a Wiki is created for asperchu to further liken it to sonichu Chris threatens to kill them with psychic powers while these visible trolling stunts tried to be as entertaining as possible when it came to annoying Chris the demeanor of the trolls behind it was not particularly malevolent calls between Chris and the creator of asperchu who went by the Alias of Alec Benson leer show that Alec was trying to do the same thing Vivien was doing make Chris productive and care more about working on Sonic and not letting it rot away on the 2nd of March Chris took to his Twitter to say this my father went to the hospital last night at 3:00 a.m. with a case of congested heart failure he will be back out in a couple of days but I have had a long stressful day I only got 4 hours of sleep I will resume daily updates after this week redrawing on the last few pages of book ten are in the works so Alec his crew and I can be on Peaceful terms and that we can all move on with better stories that are more caned to all things sonichu and rosich currently daily updates will mostly consist of mailbag answering biopage Creations captain log updates Etc I appreciate your loyalty and patience and also thank yous go out to all who have sent me positive emails and US mail letters cards and presence with opposite feelings towards the few who sent me offensive graphically inappropriate fan art in the updates that followed this announcement up Chris said that Bob had made it through safely and was no longer in danger however if this event didn't have enough of an impact on Chris what happened soon after definitely did because of an oversight while making his Little Big Planet level Chris accidentally left in the full name of the girl who he had been interacting with and the troll picked up on it and immediately contacted her with all the defamatory information on Chris that the CWC pedia could offer her response was to tell him to get all of her information off of his things and that if someone were to go after her and bother her it' be his fault his reaction was this God damn another story when you try to hurt my friends and get them involved like you've been doing after some back and forth as Chris tried to do the same thing he did with Megan and plate her just enough so that she'll Overlook his blatant boundary violations Chris decides to send her a letter and once again invite her out this was her response sorry I won't be able to make it besides I wouldn't want to go if you were going to be there and I'm not going to the thing next week because I don't want to deal with you by the way that letter don't do that again ever I wasn't even impressed with your little gift I threw it away not only that I was pissed when you said that we had been going out for a month and a half first of all I never agreed to anything of the sort second I would never date you you're not my type also if you want me to stay safe then you would leave me alone from phone email and mail I don't want to hear from you ever again do you hear me and who cares if you're a [ __ ] acoustic virgin I'd rather have my best friend's boyfriend take me first because I trust him than you besides I'm asexual so there's no hope for you at least for me not only that not even a cheap [ __ ] would want your small dick inside of her neither would I pretty aggressive as far as put Downs go but given how things went with Megan it was probably for the best because of the compounded negative feelings Chris quits the Internet only to come back in a day and a half to talk about Family Guy mind you during this whole time little to no work is being done on sonichu which drives viven who up until this point was trying her best to be supportive and helpful into giving up on Chris and sonichu on emails she says obviously you don't give a [ __ ] anymore so there's no point in managing something you don't care about you had weeks to update with anything you're just playing video games and pretending you're actually putting effort into something you've shown zero intention of actually updating a week ago you said you might update but then you do nothing you told me like 2 days ago you would and you still haven't done anything how hard is it to do anything you probably spend like 5 hours a day just watching TV and playing video games instead of actually doing anything productive I'm still offering to take sonichu off your hands after this their communication slowly died down and eventually stopped all together through the month of June Chris's drinking once again perked up as he began attending Fridays After 5 a kind of block party Festival that takes place in Charlottesville he's actually been cited multiple times attending it sometimes dancing sometimes just posing menacingly in his sports bra with the writings want woman em blazoned over it and last but not least mysteriously walking around with a hula hoop under his arm an account of a sighting reads he was wearing a bright orange sleeveless shirt with what looked like a beer logo on the back and holding a Budweiser aluminum bottle a little mini fan made it look like an iPod and a hulahoop for some reason most importantly he had a sort of basic attraction sign with him nothing elaborate or directly sexual but it says something like friendly and flirty Manzone or something similar to that and with more smaller text under that I couldn't make out he was sitting on the back grassp part and left a few minutes before the music was over I would have loved to catch Chris's attempt at using the hula hoop I bet it was funny as hell following one of his attendances to Fridays After 5 Chris goes to a bar and drinks by his Lonesome until the brilliant idea of paying a visit to the game place crosses his mind he instantly drives there while obviously under the influence and decides to try and take pictures of the manager Mike to uses a dart board that's the story that Chris told in this video about the incident anyway because according to Michael the police and an unnamed woman he was taking pictures not of Mike but of his daughter Chris alludes to this himself as he admits that the police made him delete the pictures and if they had just been pictures of Mike there really wouldn't have been any reason for them to do so regardless of what whether he went there for Mike or his daughter Chris certainly went above and beyond the Call of Duty after police were called on him for trespassing on private property Chris tried to make a run for it and on his way out he tried to run Mike over twice as well as the unnamed woman once of course Chris's retelling renders this as Mike and the woman jumping on the hood of his car to make him look bad when the police showed up he still tried to drive away but due to his very limited getaway driver skills he was stopped by the cops in their interrogation of him he immediately breaks into a monologue about how internet trolls ruined his life it's safe to say it didn't take very long for the cops to figure out that Chris was mentally challenged they decided against arresting him settling for having him delete the photos speaking of the trolls Christian decides to one up them instead of having his mediums of communication be hacked by them he takes the initiative to infiltrate the trolls at least that's what Chris believe in actuality the troll set up a fake forum and made it look like it was their main hub for planning out the next attacks against Chris falling for it hookline and sinker Chris made an account on the Forum under the Alias of jenies Jenkins followed with a truly bizarre introductory post my real name is Junior Jenkins Scooby-Doo was the inspiration behind the jenies LOL I had a birthday party recently on the 16th of July so now I'm 15 I couldn't celebrate it with my friends like I would have wanted to because I was hitchhiking my way to Ruckersville from Boston I'm crashing at a house where I have some relatives there they're the black sheep of the family and they're not close within the same house it is cool because they won't rrap me out to my parents and siblings like I need another damn minute with those [ __ ] who Overlook me and a better part their house is across the street from Chrissy's house sad though the blinds to his bedroom are always closed but I still get some sights of him and the family out of their house I've arrived at my new home a few days ago on the 20th I'll be spending my sophomore year and so on in green County's High School I promised I'd write my gal back in Boston but what happens here she doesn't have to know I have to make some new friends come September but I'll be cool I'm a stud I'll also miss my favorite Duo of dudes Jerry and Dino they taught me the ropes of high school life they are both 16 I looked up to them like I would have for my older sister if she wasn't such a drag they were a gay couple and they respected as a friend only I made it my final realization I was not gay with the help of Jerry and my girlfriend Lisa sweet little [ __ ] took me in with gratitude on my 14th birthday she had a few exes from middle school and her mom was a bondage Queen what before then I had a gay experience in summer camp when I was seven my bunk mates were experimenting and made me their mofo unwilling guinea pig I was blindfolded during the entire thing I can't read this I I seriously can't read this uh the next part is basically like a a gay erotic that Chris is describing from summer camp when he was a child I guess I guess it didn't actually happen because this is the perspective of his troll who he's like making out to be gay so with that I was able to move forward feeling more confident in my orientation anyway after moving here I've studied the times of exis and entries from the Chandler Chateau looking for a pattern there was definitely one with Robert morning for breakfast at BK and afternoon outings to I don't know where Barbara appears to come out mostly either in the afternoon or night sometimes in the mornings and Chris has no set pattern as far as I can hell yet but I'll post new stuff as I learn them some with hopefully embarrassing photographs of Chris as I learn and take smell you later Junior Jenkins jenies I'm I'm actually uh speechless as to this I know I avoided reading a bunch of it you can look it up for yourself but um it's basically like summer camp erotica written by Chris what the is this post it makes sense for him to make the troll character he's playing kind of gay as a roundabout of attacking you know them but the amount of detail he goes into is beyond disturbing did Chris just post like CP erotica did any of this happen to him is he telling someone else's stories did he witness this I I have a lot of questions I mean since the Forum was a Honeypot to begin with and they knew from the beginning that Jenkins was Chris how did the trolls feel when reading this I don't think I want to know the answer to most of these questions to be honest but it does leave a lot to the imagination so to speak something Chris did not do all of his other posts as Jenkins are relatively normal but that one was more than sufficient to dump buckets of fuel to the already Raging Fire of rumors that Chris was secretly gay around the same time Alec the guy behind asper was running the usual pretend sweetheart program on Chris via emails and as their conversations drifted into the topic of Sex Chris messaged him this whammy I've had the question of sexual fantasies post to me before and there are a few one is having SE in a swimming pool to emulate a dream I had of being lost in a waterfill labyrinth where I was intercepted by a woman and we made out and had sex I am game for an sex as long as you're my partner and you wore a strap on or used a butt plug in me as long as it is not penis shape I would also like oral swing set pull dancing me you or both at once three-way with two women roleplay and others I can't remember right now feel free to suggest other topics and I'll let you know if it's cool with me or not it's not gay as long as it's not penis shaped a quote to live by also though it doesn't behoove me to body shame him the only way Chris pole dances is if the pole is roughly the diameter of a fire hydrant another emails to Jackie he also admits that he'd applied to an escort service passed out cards and even put an add up on escorts.com under the name of Carlos chanter but never managed to score one single client he's not managing to get with girls for free why does he think he'd succeed at getting paid for it according to cr's attempt to become an escort wasn't necessarily related to his new forlorn and destitute love quest but because he's in debt in more emails he explains that he has just one credit card and that he owes $720 on it though he's only paid $50 on it monthly which means that the interest rate would prevent him from ever being debt free despite Jackie pleading with him to be more frugal he's unwilling to cancel his Netflix subscription or sell any of his 400 video games actually I I have to correct myself here after repeatedly telling him to sell his video games to pay off his debt Chris did get rid of them and by that I mean he exchanged them for store credit at GameStop so he could buy even more games I truly hopeless on top of that every month he buys a $50 PSN card to buy add-ons for Guitar Hero he also admits that though he has told his mom and Rocky about the debt he's kept Bob in the dark about all of this because he didn't want to get yelled at meanwhile the troll set up a reward system for whoever gets their hands- on or destroys relics that belong to or came from Chris one of the larger payouts of $9,000 was for someone to sequester and Destroy his PS3 due to how much Chris noticeably loved it initially when Jackie brought this up as a potential way to make money Chris reacts negatively saying I saw their rewards topic firstly let me inform you that considering most of the trolls are immature underaged demented twisted sick evil and such the rewards would obviously be false If a troll actually comes up with such footage and gives it to someone like Clyde cash Clyde would not give out any money so with that considered I would never make such a gay video or PS3 wrecking video or even a billion dollars and with that I would appreciate if you would not even think of me making any footage for the trolls money ever again please however in his despair for some quick cash to pay off his debt with ideally before Bob found out Chris destroys his PS3 which at the time was at least worth a couple hundred bucks or maybe even more if he marketed it properly on eBay with some games given Jackie was the only one who talked him into it promising the destruction of the PS3 would mean Chris is moving forward from being a Manchild and becoming an adult who gets his Joy from being with his sweetheart of course as he himself predicted Clyde never paid for this this doesn't at all hinder his trust and love for Jackie though and soon after he declares his love for her followed by sending her multiple images of drawn you know not safe for work stuff of her which I obviously can't feature uncensored also upon Jackie's request Chris sings her a song while cosplaying as dragon balls Mr Popo which obviously was just Alec getting him to do blackface this was just one of many instances of of Chris doing cosplay other victims of which include Fred Flintstone and the infamous video of him turning into Sonic with a defective ear hello folks well and Now for Something Completely Different electric hit power this me in my super mode if I actually had the superpowers other illustrious Productions from this period include not one but two different videos of Chris simulating himself giving birth my goodness look at this I had since my girlfriend and it backfired on me can't believe this her egg went inside month and now and now it's been in me for like 9 months as well as an attempt at doing a single pull-up which he fails finally Alec is no longer capable of keeping up the loving Jackie facade and after months upon months of half trolling him half trying to genuinely help him he cracks when Chris suggests a Friends with Benefits Arrangement and replies with a barrage of emails with the most scathing words he could think of there are some girls who are perfectly willing to have a casual sex based relationship with no strings attached however these girls always possess the same qualities one they usually have some kind of psychological hangup whether it be that they have terrible self-esteem and hate themselves or they feel like no one could love them and that they couldn't deserve a real relationship or something like that basically every minute they're in this sort of hollow mockery of a relationship they're in pain and suffering but you probably wouldn't care about any of that since all you want to do is have sex with them and then ignore them two the thing I bet you will care about is that those women only care about the shallowest aspects of men by that I mean they want guys who are good-looking muscular manly and have big dicks you do not fit any of those criteria Chris you are significantly overweight and flabby you have virtually no muscle your skin is pasty and your forehead is covered in acne scarring that is the most readily visible thing about you even in low light low resolution picture or video your hair is thinning and looks stringy and greasy all the time because you don't take care of it your body isn't getting the nutrients it needs to maintain it and you probably don't wash it all that much when you dressed up as Christian sonichu your distended gut was hanging so low it completely covered your belt buckle and much of your front pants it reminded me of when Peter Griffin is naked and they don't have to blur his genitals because his giant gut covers them completely all of those are things that you could take care of if you actually tried but you just stuff yourself with fast food soft drinks and hungry man dinners all day and night and make no effort to exercise or keep in shape which is why you can't do a single pull-up in your body is falling apart before you even turned 30 also your p is rather small and bent at an awkward angle girls who want a Friends with Benefits Arrangement just want the biggest straightest death they can find and trust me they don't have trouble finding them for every one of a guy like you there are five or 10 guys who actually take care of themselves physically that these girls can choose from instead oh the other thing is that these girls will often forgive a less than attractive physique if the guy in question has a lot of money to spend on them but having never tried to pursue an actual career or earn money with your Comics which you have claimed many times you always wanted to do means you have no money either in all our time communicating with each other you show that you're incredibly Petty and vindictive you show that you care nothing for other people's property or livelihood as eviden by the ridiculous Grudge you still possessed against Michael Snider you went into the store he was in charge of running you hogged his TV to play your games even though he never owed you that and then when he tried to assert his dominance over the business he runs you scrawled vile graffiti slandering him in his own store and you refuse to play by the rules and that forced him to ban you and years go by and you still hold this childish Grudge to the point of repeatedly trespassing on the store's property and taking pictures of his children in a threatening manner you are hateful and judgmental towards entire groups of people you know nothing about you hate gays for absolutely no reason you're afraid of black people you think calling someone a Jew is an insult and yet you still get super self-righteous and act all offended whenever you think someone is disrespecting you because they don't like your autism you are a hypocrite of immense proportions always holding other people to standards of behavior that you believe you yourself have no obligation to follow you criticize other people for social networking saying the internet is turning them autistic even though you sit at home playing your PlayStation 3 all day long you throw words from the Bible at people when they do something that offends you even though you lie cheat steal want premarital SX threaten bodily harm on others and a whole host of other activities that God doesn't like and whenever you are cornered and can't explain away your rampant egotism and hypocrisy you'll just claim that the trolls are responsible for all your problems great and small and act as though your bad internet experience excuses you from having to take responsibility for anything and what's more you expect others to do everything for you and offer nothing in return whenever either of us offer you an idea of how to deal with some problem of yours you come up with some rationalization while you are too lazy to do it and beg us to do it for you instead you'll complain about the same problems over and over but you refuse to consider any solution that is offered to you you've talked down to me insulted me lied to me repeatedly refus to do something I asked you to do many times yet you still expect me to be some perfect girlfriend who makes you happy all the time you place your prize video games above all other concerns in your life you drop the majority of what little money you have every month on video games and then whine about how you don't have money you would need to accomplish actual goals you complain about other people being addicted you make excuses that once we're together then you will improve yourself suggesting that you expect me to be a babysitter and give your life Direction because you're too lazy to give it Direction yourself if you had been a good person things might have turned out different between us but you proved your inside was even uglier than your outside the most succinct way to put why you are not currently ready to be with a girl is that you want to be taken seriously as an adult man even though you're a person who sits in your room playing video games all day leashing money off the government that could be be going to people who are homeless and starving and at the same time convincing yourself that God wants you to have free money have no goals no aspirations and no Direction who avoids any and all work like the plague whs about his father telling him to do chores to real adults who have to work 60 hours a week and take care of themselves all the while growing fatter balder greasier and closer to death off your diet of fast food and hungry man's and a total lack of exercise or activity you need to change all of these things about yourself before a relationship friends with benefits or not with any girl is practical you might be wondering after I just got done explaining why you're such a bad friend why I would want to be your friend and that's a valid point well I want to be your friend because I think it is possible for you to change become good and get things you want and it's not hurting me to help you to try one more thing I have to ask you again what has Rocky really done for you has Rocky helped you get a girlfriend Andor partner no you're still alone and a virgin has she helps you get healthy or develop a means of interacting with adults no you still live like a slob and play with toys all day you are severely depressed because you don't have a social life but she hasn't helped you with all of that all she tells you is that nothing is your fault and that your problems will be solved when the trolls are gone will when the trolls are all punished he'll still be a lonely depressed version with no real social life no job no hobbies and nothing significant in his life why don't you ask Rocky to help you with your actual personal problems instead of just blaming the trolls for everything I'm trying to help you by pointing out things you need to change about yourself doesn't Rocky or does she just tell you that it's okay to sit on your ass playing video games and doing nothing with your life I've got news for you if that's what she was telling you it's because she believes you're too ret and stupid to accomplish anything and she's just humoring you anyway I know this Probably sounds all pretty brutal and shocking to to you that's why I want you to save this email and reread it over and over read it again each day so the shock can fade but my message can sink in because you really need this message to sink in Chris you need to do something different with your life if you don't then the life you have now is all you'll ever have this email unlike most of the other emails trying to get Chris to realize the cold hard truth was effective however it wasn't effective at getting Chris to improve his life instead it essentially caused what is called an ego death though it would take a while before it manifested he still replied to Jackie's email only to say that she has him deeply and that his piece was in fact bigger than previously photographed and no longer bent oh and he's not overweight in a follow-up email he says well the truth is appreciated sometimes there is a certain level of Truth telling that should never be exceeded because of hurting the others feelings and emotions worse than they already are is sympathy a lost art in this damn digital communicative age that makes more and more Society autistic like every day to which Jackie replied sympathy has nothing to do with this I have spent months sympathizing with you on every subject that bothers you but it has gotten you nowhere you still sit alone in your room depressed and resentful towards the rest of the world you don't listen when people sympathize with you I chose my words very carefully because I knew they would shock you I knew that shocking you was the only thing that might stand a chance of making you realize that you don't have a luxury of just sitting and waiting for the world to make itself perfect for you secondly you complain about not receiving sympathy but one of you ever offered it when people sympathize with you all you end up doing is demanding that they fix your problems for you you don't sympathize at all with people like me or Samantha when we get frustrated at how you routinely ignore Our advice and would rather piss your life away playing video games friendship seems to be a one-sided affair with you you expect sympathy which I think you misinterpret to mean coddling but don't return the favor the same day as the first email in this exchange was sent Chris uploads a video announcing that he's leaving the internet attention read my lips online socialization is a bust socialize in real life is the tops and also no more videos Fu you most and [ __ ] you social sites like my space some Facebook I'm out unlike all of his previous claims he actually managed to keep himself from uploading videos to YouTube for a total of eight months this could have and in my opinion should have been a major turning point in the Chris story despite his obvious learning disability it was an opportunity to turn his life around it was when someone was bluntly honest with him about the current conditions of his life and what he needed to do to change it Jackie was not kind to him but she was honest and if anything that's what he needed that's what a lot of people need in this period of public silence as conversations with Jackie continued though they didn't become public until much later in January Chris mentions that Barb's mental health has also begun to deteriorate as he essentially expresses that due to how fragile their familial unit is given financially emotionally and pretty much every other day she no longer wants to continue living within a month of this Chris films himself sticking his PE in snow for a jackass challenge about 6 minutes in now I've had previous experience with freezing with and I've even stretched it a bit right I'll be checking back in in s besides is now private BSN Chris was exclusively communicating through emails and no longer socializing online this also marked an entire year of absolutely no updates on sonichu it wasn't until March that the a mentioned ego death that resulted from the Jackie email reared its headed Chris realized that indeed he couldn't go on as he was but instead of improving who he was he decided that he wanted to be someone else near the end of March he emails Jackie saying the following the emails I'm sending you are straight ly confidential do not share the content of anything I send you with anyone I've gone through an emotional 180 more or less than the past month in a nutshell I've grown my hair out and I'm continuing to let it grow I've learned the best term to describe me Tom girl yes I am a tom girl and I'm damn proud of it I have embraced and appreciated my feminine side I'm still totally heterosexual otherwise I would be a full-blown you know what I've also had my ears pierced with amethyst studs my birth stone recently I've also been more self-confident and I have a sweet sachche walk hair and wink flirts and I am greeting women left and right hello also here's another way to consider me I am a Ken doll any Barbie can dress in her clothes and I would feel most comfortable in them and to model them for her come shopping with me sweetie Chris who is infamously homophobic is now dressing up as a woman and has a sachche walk couldn't make this up if I tried the pictures he was referring to in the email eventually leak and they look about as mesmerizing as you'd expect while Bob was going through a surgery to remove a tumor in his colon Barb was concerned that Chris was becoming a transvesti or gay of some kind which Chris resented this culminated on May 17th when Barb randomly conjures up the idea that Chris is preparing to kill her so she threatens to kill him takes the car keys and last but not least she cuts Chris's hair which according to him broke the last straw on his camel's back causing him to call her a b word Chris being the complete deranged psychopath that he is decides that he will wear the clippings of his hair as a necklace as a charm to make it grow back faster I don't even know on a forum for Tom boys and Tom girls he joined Chris shares that his parents hadn't been accepting of his transition in that barb had tried to pay him to stop wearing panties when Bob found out he shared many of Barb's concerns while he did stop uploading to YouTube he was still producing videos some even of an explicit nature for Jackie where he has sex with one of his dolls and twerks in the fitting rooms of a clothing store couple of months after this Chris sits naked on a store-bought cake and Forest for Jackie's Amusement while Bob dies of heart failure two days after turning the rip old age of 84 much later on it's discovered that when Bob died he had already been hospitalized not for any cardio issue but for bug bites as he aged and his health deteriorated he stopped doing maintenance in the house and since Barb and Chris never did any in the first place their home became infested with the bugs poor guy what a way to go just a month after his passing barbar and Chris are arrested for running Mike over this time successfully The Story Goes that Chris saw the game plac was Under New Management and deliberately ignored the fact that Mike was named as part of it after entering it which constitutes trespassing he took pictures of Mike with his 3DS and yelled out for the internet presumably the cops were called by the game places management while Mike followed the channelers back to their car and no joke according to Chris Mike began hitting himself with the car and no that's not a joke that is what he claims after that what happened is no longer a matter of what Chris or Mike claimed but what the cops themselves witnessed Chris and Barb failed to stop after their quote unquote accidentally hitting Mike followed by Chris assaulting someone most likely Mike and Barb attacking a police officer the court proceedings Drew well into the next year and thanks to a pair of CWC Pia users who lived near the court in which the hearings took place the information about it was spread despite Chris's radio silence despite filing protection orders against both Barb and Chris Mike didn't intend for them to get felony charges and hope that the judge would take their plea bargain ultimately Chris was sentenced to community service one year of probation mandatory psychological treatment and evaluation which would result in jail time if he didn't comply Plus $247 in court costs Barb on the other hand got community service with two years of Probation and almost $500 in court costs besides the hearings 2012 was a quiet year and the only one since the beginning of his online presence with no YouTube uploads however there's one glaring exception to this uneventfulness this is the Year Chris lost his virginity to a lady of the night he posted to Facebook about it saying I've been in a good mood a lot lately because I finally had so I'll divulge a couple of details I mean seriously I literally awake and the first thing that comes to mind is the occasion and I'm smiling for hours she was a very nice and sweet early 20s woman and even better she's half Cherokee we've hit it off from the shared characteristic of being good people and a very delightful and pleasant conversation we exchanged phone numbers and we did it in her room I put together a nice gift basket for her to show my appreciation oh I forgot to mention she really enjoyed my dick it was so big and good that it put the last dude she was with to shame her words while initially pretending this was some kind of romantic Rendevous eventually over private emails he would admit to having done it with an escort do yourself a really big favor go on Craigslist for your area find yourself a photo play with dump your virginity for me it was the best thing I was ever able to do for myself twice now I don't feel as bad because I won't be dying an untouched virgin and I have not obsessed about so much since then plus she was a nice woman the one who did it caring mother of two half Cherokee she was really good much much later on he retold the war story of how exactly their interaction went down which I won't read out for the sake of your sanity and my own but it's not that hard to find one thing that's worth mentioning is that he goes out of his way to say that he gave her the same strong-handed massage he gives to his mother which is both deeply disturbing and incredible for boing like many things are with Chris most of 2013 has little to know significant activity from Chris besides him wasting his time on Facebook and Twitter a few more videos of Chris's house leak and he opens up a group on Facebook called brasseries for males to see if he can find other men who share his interest in wearing bras is a totally straight heterosexual Tom girl you can imagine how successful this endeavor was in February he made a new video but didn't upload it to YouTube and we only have it now because it eventually leaks due to the diligent work of trolls in it he calls out his half brother Cole for not inviting Chris and Barb to his wedding and scolds him for not giving her attention as if it was his job as if he hadn't extensively explained to him over emails while he moved away from the Chandler Clan another sign that Chris was completely divorcing himself from reality was that around this time he left his church which had for a long time one of the few positive influences on his life explaining the decision he said I Christian Weston Chandler will not be attending church for a long time the pastor Banned Me from the church for a month he has banned me from speaking my peace during the sharing of Joys and concerns and from that I have felt unnecessarily silenced I also feel my meetings with Rocky no longer have much effect on me or my life my life continues to be at a disappointing standstill of sadness loneliness and a great stress only the people way older than me ever do so much as greet me and I have very little to share in common with any of them nobody even close to my age or even in their 20s gives me much to do or include me in their conversations aside from that I am hated by a number of people for reasons beyond my full understanding because I always tried to be a good and nice person for a long time and in public I'm constantly overlooked ignored or ostracized by everybody even speaking out gets me absolutely no attention I continue to be paranoid of most everyone because of them likely being among the internet trolls that still continue to haunt and taunt me I am still long desperate for a woman to be my sweetheart I am tired of being single dang it I continue to serve my family the best I can and I continue to feel sad depressed and lonely my heart feels numb and I'm forced to keep a great emotional distance from everybody outside my house and home I am an autistic mental and emotional mess and there's very little I can do to help myself beyond my knowledge and God sees fit for some hatef filled reason to continue to curse me as a jinx and so the church is not helping me much in my life mentally or emotionally at all so I will not be coming back for a long time along with his distance from the church came his hatred for Megan after years of barely mentioning her at all in a Facebook post he called her an ungrateful b word essentially saying that she owed him sex for the stuff he chose to buy her voluntarily from eBay he also says that the version of her he put in the sonichu comics Mogi Las skunk no longer trusts her whatever that's supposed to mean to top it all off he accuses her and the army of trolls he's now convinced was being ordered by her of being responsible for his dad's death certainly the facts Bob a Burger King for decades or his multiple bypass surgeries or the fact he was 84 had nothing to do with his passing and it was all Megan's fault finally he comes back to YouTube and only to post a Lego Recreation of his high school which is a little too close for comfort to a Doom wad of his school if you get what I'm saying for the longest time Chris much like his parents was a pathological hoarder and only bought more and more paraphernalia he just kept around and never got rid of it's the Manchild classic however it's at this time that we see him putting up certain things for sale which is quite unusual the first item comically enough was a package of all his used porn that he listed on Craig's List this odd action went overlooked at least for a little while because all of the attention towards Chris Chan was drawn to when the Chandler household went up in Flames the main Theory as to why it happened was that due to the general hoarding the kitchen sink was inaccessible leading the downstairs bathroom sink to be the main source of water for the Chandlers because of this an unusual amount of electrical devices were plugged in or near the bathroom one of these things was the coffee brewer which had an extension cord looping over a door because of the door opening in closing the cor's plastic covering was gradually chewed away until the wires were completely exposed this part is pretty much confirmed as the fire department itself named it specifically as the cause of the fire after about 3 hours the fireman managed to put the fire out while Chris went on Facebook to complain at kig blaming them for the Brewers faulty wiring with a house that was as much of a fire hazard as theirs it's unsurprising that a 3-hour long fire abs absolutely ravaged their living space at the time they made it out with pretty much nothing but what they had on their backs it would take about a year for the house to be restored to its former glory and during this period Chris and Barb lived at a rental house provided by their insurance company fortunately for them after the place was cleared for them to visit and inspect the objects that had been damaged by the fire many things were left unscathed as soon as the chaos died down Chris returned to selling things on eBay for cash though people generally presume this need for money was caused by the fire on an unrelated note in April he says this on an email to one of the pretend girls he was communicating with a new feat I have just randomly done something that would normally be useless and trivial and it would be something that would be more often done in a dream but I actually did it and I felt like I wanted to tell someone who would keep it confidential and possibly be interested right now I'm telling only you in confidence warning it is obscene and I mean no offense I have reached from behind and under and pulled my penis and literally stretched it to being wedged between the middle of my butt crack I could push the head into the hole but it was really smelly in there and I have just bathed oh my God oh my God and while stretched the balls can remain tucked in and I can walk like this it is that long and to take an opportunity you and a lot of women around here and wherever not counting the Cherokee women are really missing out thank you for listening and keeping it confidential on second thought I gave you permission to tell other women about it only if you feel it valid for the conversation just when you thought that Chris couldn't be any more of an elegant gentleman he's now practicing aerobics people had been speculating that he had some psychological complex that made him want to bang himself all the way back when he created the crystal character and now it had come full circle however through some unimaginable mental acrobatics he remained homophobic struggling to consider gay males a legitimate category of the LGBT acronym because of his feelings towards them another Exquisite morsel of Chris's gender expression is the and I quote unclick you may be wondering Tom what love crafty and horror Beyond human comprehension are you talking about well I'll let Chris explain it I had something done to me that is radical that I did for my lesbian soul I got a new piercing on my taint on Monday the 15th about where my clearest would be if I was a woman it is a short steel straight piece with steel spheres of which I render to them as my unclean I am tending to its cleaning personally in Daily baths or showers as well as cleaning the area with rubbing alcohol twice a day I Christian Weston Chandler with no other outside opinions from anyone have long been thinking about getting a piercing on my taint with a steel sphere from where my C would be if I was born female in my sole identity as a female and a liian as a fair substitute for that and to stimulate the woman's clipp wris via scissoring years ago after watching the lesbian couple tribing each other in the softcore porn movie The Key to sex and to make sure everyone understands me once and for all lesbian Soul trapped in a male body or to put it in another way I am a lesbian transgender I am seriously into woman males offend me even my own P totally grosses me out I'm glad that I tuck it underneath my taint so I don't have to look down at the ugly bulge I have come out as the lesbian transgender that I've always been and ever will and for every one of you sods who continue to mislabel me as a homosexual male or hint towards anything of that even in distasteful Gest you can all kiss my vagina of my soul you might have noticed that I deliberately expunge the parts of his little missive that go into the ins and outs of bonobo CES but I uh wouldn't punish my worst enemy with that information so consider yourself lucky also I'm real iffy on how accurate his locating of the uh organ is and I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to use rubbing alcohol on a recently done piercing but then again even if he got both of those things hilariously wrong there's just no talk in the fact that he chose to pierce his pennium the words pennium and piercing shouldn't even be in the same sentence and here we are Chris Chan once again Chris gets roped into dating an online troll this time it was an open relationship that included Chris Catherine and another guy Colin because of his plethora of bad past experiences with purely online dating there was a lot more rioting on going on an actual real life date and eventually it did take place Catherine's retelling of how it went down follows Chris wanted to spend an entire day together go bra shopping at Target with him wanted me to spend spend the night and watch movies with him even asked me what I like for breakfast so he could buy it it would have been kind of nice behavior if it weren't the first time he was going to meet this woman I told him a few times that I wasn't going to spend the night with him but he persisted in believing I would he was two booths down I bit the bullet and went over he wanted me to use some stupid pickup line what's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this but I just asked if he was Christian he all but leaped up and squawked Katherine you're here then he side hugged me before I could employ evasive tactics and I led him to our table the look on the waitress's face was priceless she may need some serious therapy after this Chris was wearing a red t-shirt and gray undershirt his Kilt really some old lady style plaid skirt to the calf with turquoise tights and groy sneakers I hoped he would wear high heels since he said he likes wearing them his hair looked like straw probably from the bleach he used to use and he had a silver hairband and green earrings he had on Blue Eyes Shadow and purple eyeliner and red lipstick that appeared to have been applied by someone with Advanced Parkinson's he smelled very strongly of what we later found out was that Britney Spear's perfume he seemed genuinely amazed I was even there he kept trying to hold my hand so I negotiated lunch like a t-rex with Stumpy little arms then he tried footsy under the table and he stared at my a lot and retrospect I should have called him out on it Barb's family apparently also think Barb is a useless drunken [ __ ] too a few days after the meeting Chris told me that when Barb was young she aggressively went after her sister's husband or fiance when he offered to show us his house we took him up on it we followed him even though Al knew where we were going Chris seriously drives like my demented old grandma who doesn't have a license anymore because she kept going the wrong way up oneway Street the place is bad much smaller than I thought it would be too it's overgrown and there's broken glass everywhere everywhere you look there's stuff all garbage Bob's old Workshop is full of rubbish his Greenhouse is doing slightly better but not much there's an early '90s Cadillac in the yard covered in plant growth that hasn't been moved since the fire they want to sell it and expect 2,000 to 5,000 for it we go to the rental it is literally stacked to the ceiling with stuff in places no exaggeration Chris occupies both upstairs rooms one is full of Lego including melted warp fire damage Lego a lot of it and the other has the same groy bedding from the old house the Chandler pets pee and poop in the house on newspaper because they're too lazy to take them for walks the dogs are untrained hate strangers and are at least 20 lbs overweight their bellies all but drag on the floor one nearly bit me when I offered to let it smell me when we made our Escape Chris said you asked what a girl like me was doing in a place like this which I didn't well I'm waiting for the sweetest most honest woman in my life and put his arm around me to kiss me so I sneezed again to get him to back off I waved at him when we got in the car and he still thinks I blew him a kiss it's been over a decade now and Chris is still as absurdly inept at respecting people's boundaries it's good to know some things don't change or maybe bad probably bad after this Chris goes to a gay club looking like a creature out of Goosebumps and then he attempts to donate spur but gets rejected truly nobody wants that come up in another unexplainable surge of aggression would flare up in protest of Sonic's arms in the Sonic Boom game being blue instead of classic beige color no it's not a joke that actually pissed him off and led him to create entire groups to protest the change his OB obession with stopping the game from being sold around him got so bad that after he had already been banned from every game store in the area due to his protests he decided that on the day after Christmas he'd once more go into GameStop and vandalize Sonic Boom copies a Tumblr user who happened to be present and know of Chris Chan eventually made a post detailing the occurrence I was in GameStop looking at the 3DS rack when I heard a racket from my left I looked up and saw Chris surrounded by three to four employees in a corner I recognized Chris's voice before their appearance a woman was telling Chris that they'd been banned from the store and needed to leave to which Chris responded with something like oh come on can't we let bygones be bygones the employees ignored him and continued to tell him to leave and threatened to call security eventually they dispersed to do so which is about when I began filming a woman buying a game at the counter asked the employee she had been interacting with what had just happened and the employee replied that Chris was some guy that came in from time to time to mess with the Sonic Boom games because he was upset that Sonic's arms had changed color or something to that effect sadly I did not check to see what happened to the sonic boom and only saved for another 5 minutes or so before leaving in the brief but very telling video that we have of the occurrence we can see Chris and what can only be described as an incomprehensible get up and paratively telling people not to call anyone presumably because of his terrible fear of being pinned down and handcuffed as he speed walks out of the GameStop it's visible that he sprayed something on one of the employees faces later on it was revealed that he had maed this man for simply standing in his way unbeknownst to the by standers Chris was at the mall with his mother but he got in such a state of nerves that in his hurry to leave he left his elderly mother alone loone at the food court and drove away we know this because when the police arrived she was interviewed and soon after Chris was located he was arrested and charged with and I quote dangerous gas unlawful release which is quite fitting a few days after the arrest Chris was released on a $2,500 bail and in October of the next year almost a whole 10 months after the masing Chris managed to plead his classic felony down to a misdemeanor level assault and battery and was served with 180 days of probation and a $541 fine this is a relatively light sentence if you consider the fact that while he was attending the court hearings during the time it took for the case to close he never showed remorse for his actions in a Facebook post he made immediately after being released he said to preface what has happened recently I simply remind everyone that Sonic the Hedgehog's arms are not freaking blue if # Sega had never changed them or reversed the change between February and November of this year in the new Sonic Boom video games and Cartoon Series on Cartoon Network as well as the toys and whatever else I would never have had to protest and rebel the way I have I peaked into the GameStop and I spotted a new Skylander figure blastermind I was set to buy it and I was going to consider checking out of their Wii U pre-owned software selection in their three for two deal innocent I was not looking for trouble but then this male loomed out in front of me frightened the crap out of me and he said in the booming voice that only scared me worse you are banned from here you need to leave now but still determined to continue my shopping I veered into the Wii U Direction when his female accomplice startled me and boomed in as well still feeling frightened and mentally overloaded I made a grab for my pepper spray to use in defense I offered a few peaceful Solutions but she ended up sending him to go get security so I shouted fine I'm leaving and I dropped the figure and on my way out I told the mail to not get anyone and we both stopped near simultaneous I still felt my own worse for wear with the fear startle paranoia and I did not want him following me and causing more trouble upon me and then in my defense and not to make my Escape I sprited a minuscule amount of pepper spray downward not in his face and then I left I did not learn until much later that the Spritz had done a lot worse than I had imagined it as well as learning that they were the so-called manager and ass manager of that particular store I had no idea of the contents of the pepper spray or that it was illegal for use in certain situations in the state of Virginia at all and I had tried the stuff on myself days before in the upstairs bathroom a 2-second spray onto my left wrist some of it got into the bathtub wall as well like sampling a perfume or deodorant it took me out damn well I had to open the windows turn on the bathroom fan and aim the box fan in the bathroom to air the place out and I wiped the wall off as well and of course I washed my hands it took 15 to 30 minutes to make it bearable in there again in the end I was the victim I did not cause the original provoking the assistant manager made the first attack onto me and provoked my defensive response I was minding my own business not looking for trouble and then he startled me similar to a potential rap vist in a dark alley in a big city any of you would have done the same as I have in defense and escape and we can sue Sega for changing Sonic's arm color and ultimately this male getting pepper sprayed think about it seriously ly if this wasn't bad enough just a few days after the GameStop debacle he was up in Walmart causing a ruckus and threatening to pepper spray the employees when they told him he was trespassing over his correspondence with a kiwi Farms user about the incident he referred to himself as badass while explaining that he didn't know for sure the people at Walmart with Walmart name tags were Walmart employees the cherry on top is that he considers anyone using a threatening tone with him is a self-defense situation that warrants the pepper spray it was now 2015 in his downtime Chris worked on on at you for the first time in 5 years and posted to YouTube apologizing for his past homophobia this apparent change in his demeanor didn't last very long as soon after he tries to Guilt Trip distant family members into contacting Barb invites people to his lesbian sleepover presumably so that he can SE harass them as he's known to do his work on sonichu wasn't exactly selfless as the comic was only reviewed when one of Chris's donation tiers on Etsy which promised a 100 page issue of sonichu for $1,000 was met by some mad man with a lot of surplus cash the donation was to no though as Chris defrauded him by neglecting to work on sonichu making only 16 Pages out of the promised 100 Chris's videos take a serious turn for the worst at this point as he shows frozen SC samples and post a lesbian sex audition in which he makes suggestive motions in order to impress a lesbian couple he supposedly was corresponding with at the time eventually the reason Chris had been monetizing his Creations more and more is revealed in a video called please donate where he explains Barb has been sued for a debt of almost $5,000 that they need to pay off and in order to do that they need people to donate mind you he says this while he's surrounded by a gaggle of expensive toys he's unwilling to sell later on the money donated begins also being dedicated to Barb's dental work which apparently is necessary because she has a lot of cavities and asthma meds however keeping in tune with his previously shrew Financial moves Chris completely wastes the money by buying things like a PS4 Transformers toys which he later destroyed when shump won the 2016 election and a plethora of other useless garbage meanwhile he attacks Cole for not giving them more money and claims they're so poor or that they can no longer afford soup to make matters worse Barb gets hit with more debt lawsuits and so does Chris eventually totaling over $30,000 worth of debt between the two of them with all of this mounting they begin struggles to pay their mortgage of $115,000 and to solve this Chris asks for a quarter mill on patreon when people begin telling him to get a job he angrily responds that he already has a full-time job which is taking care of Barb and can't apply for any other job because of the trolls he also implies a job would keep him from drawing and writing for his books but at that point Point new sonichu Comics are extremely Hit or Miss in a far cry from what they once were over at eBay he manages to sell a Sonic totem for, 1500 but preemptively spends the money and then fails to ship the totem which means now he not only owes 1,500 worth of garbage he bought on credit cards but he also has a negative 1500 balance on his Paypal in a particularly pithy moment Chris posts a video of Barb begging for money with a gold and pearl necklace on items that he bought her with a donation money instead of getting food or paying off some of their debt while the find it you crisis was going down another Arc reared its hideous head the idea guy Saga I will abridge this as much as possible because it's so comically insane it's not worth getting into all the details about basically a troll called Joshua wise emailed Chris pretending to be a character from the anime Hyperdimension Neptunia asking about Chris's Dreamcast and saying it held a portal to Quick Ville the land where sonichu lives what became immediately clear was that it was extremely easy to get Chris to believe things when you dangled the possibility of leaving the real world and escaping into the astonish you Universe it was like pushing a button that instantly detached Chris from reality altogether in fact his abandonment of real life was so total that it would even override his sensibilities through the Neptunia trolling Chris was talked into drawing an image of himself impregnating sonichu which is a sentence I never expected myself to say the result of this was that now Chris believes sonichu and a bunch of other fictional characters and their respective universes were alternate realities that he could access after tricking Chris into unknowingly spreading wignat jokes the troll posting to Kiwi Farm said Chris doesn't actually know about the Nazi jokes he just told what really happened was some White Knight tried to explain to him that he was making Holocaust references and the thing was that I saw that coming beforehand so I told him that anyone who said otherwise was a troll really convincing Chris all this is happening isn't as hard as you might expect in fact all it takes is one of these free photo editing sites and audacity to make quickfill come to life I actually once took audio from him during an interview and edited it poorly to make it sound like Christine was talking to random people fighting to save quickfill the images in question are hilariously bad quality but were more than enough to get Chris on board with pretty much anything the troll said just as long as it was backed with some driil about alternate dimensions and timelines Chris promptly conversed from Christianity to the religion of the CPU goddesses which is something straight from Hyperdimension Neptunia and he now believes he is one while this bottomless pit of schizophrenia was brewing up online Chris's real life adventures raged on he attended magfest to a very warm reception and even a standing ovation then he once again trespassed and was put on a therapeutic docket instead of facing jail time which meant he was appointed to see a psychiatrist regularly later on he asked for people to buy all of his Transformers toys so that he makes the $600 he needs to go to BronyCon followed by his house almost getting foreclosed because they'd been delinquent on mortgage payments though the hyper Dimension Neptunia trolling remained benign for a brief period it quickly devolved into the trolls running it manipulating Chris into making humiliating videos such as one where he slaps himself repeatedly while sounding like he's calling himself a [ __ ] or another one called Dick Laker that is I which they did because they had convinced him he was bisexual and to act it out he drew a piece on the wall and began licking it though it's not shown in the footage he then showed it to Barb who cried and ran upstairs he attends another convention called too many games and his ban fromit for randomly kissing people without their consent prompting him to crawl up in a ball which he calls his Hedgehog defensive States a day later he took to Twitter to justify his actions saying the following one question what is wrong with this world a peck on the cheek from a celebrity that one likes positively mind you is not offensive to me finally the Neptunia trolls are brought to justice so to speak when null the owner of kiwi Farms makes a thread called the Chris Chan extortionist dedicated to expose how Chris was tricked into shelling out about $6,000 in gifts and cash to the trolls as well as having Chris admit to being a pedophile and raping his mother in order to blackmail him this shift in the tides pretty much marked the end of the specific trolls activity however despite this information making it to Chris and him becoming aware that the majority of his current beliefs have been shaped by malicious trolls he would outright refuse to abandon those delusions in the epilogue to Sonu 13 called Awakening of a CPU Chris said they were royally messing with me as well as literally screwing up the Earth Equestria and even the CPU goddesses themselves destructively wise and his associate Steven Boyd extorted six grand out of me in Steam and Amazon cards and other toys they will pay me back the sixth Grand with interest regardless the joke is unwise because his slanderous destructive efforts only strengthen my own psychic links with our world there and the CPU goddess and I became allies and everything that was destined prophesized and Faded of me and the link between those Earths and dimensions came full circle Deja Vu and all that and we are still continuing on as such also I am awakened and I am still learning of my powers and everything I had lived a long trying and mentally and emotionally enduring life made my own progress recovery and whatnot me a half sonichu individual of this Earth 1218 destined to be a console Patron unit so yeah Chris's mental state was pretty much irreversible he then announces the dimension merge on his YouTube channel basically it means that soon the sonichu verse and real life will become one and he'll be able to transform into his other forms and uses powers of course when this doesn't happen he comes up with a cockamamy expression as to how it's being delayed by an interdimensional war between good guys and bad guys from every fictional Universe the very next video has him screaming because he got blocked by the Brony crew of TF2 analysis on Twitter to which he then begs to be unblocked in December of 2019 Chris shares a dream he had in which his current Sal is being pursued by his old self once again reaffirming his narcissistic fantasies 2020 then rolled by and of course Chris uses stimmy checks not to pay for any of his insurmountable debt he was dealing with but to buy an iPad if you want to get a good feel for how decrepit and demented the Chandler household had gotten by that point then just watch this ha Cole thanks for the flowers they're beautiful that was very sweet of you I'm I remember all the uh cars and letters that you mail me when you were in college I still have them and I still read them it's so nice to to be reminded of your love and support thank you very much I love you very nice very nice all right hey Cole got a little message for you myself self brother this is actually sonichu yeah the one and only Prime of the sonichu species from our sister Dimension that's literally my N St you hey you've been hanging out next to Iron Man you could say Chris Chan's Singularity was fast approaching in his DMS with one of the enablers of the Neptunia delusions he says this is seriously strictly confidential I genuinely do not want this to get out in public ears and radar especially anywhere on the freaking kiwi Farms I have been more sex positive lately masturbation has become easier and more fun with me in recent months but the more recent significant detail I have a sex partner of our 1218 half of our universe she's been very satisfactory her identity needs to remain a strict secret and this is a mutual genuine affection I'm finally getting the long overdue experience and she's helping me explore since we started this ship progress with the first intercourse last Sunday I've been feeling a lot less physically stressed and improved quality of life we're mainly still exploring the options and teaching each other up to where we find what works best she's physically older than I considerably fragile but she has great strength and soul power this was odd Chris was known to lie but seldom did he ever lie about actually having sex with somebody which meant that he was probably telling the truth here but who could he have been talking about well on the 28th of July he had a call with another one of his online trolls a girl called Isabella Jane and in this call he confided something he hadn't yet told anyone else I don't want to believe labels at all but obviously the incest manics have come true and approach her with care and caution and it was a it was a time approach so I just gave her comfort and talk with her and we just frenched out slow and stay and then I IC I encouraged her positively let her make the first move she wanted to do it oh she did really she made the first move yeah it's worth noting I have a separate dedicated video about Isabella Jane which was released as of the time all this went down which is pretty easy to find and goes in more depth about her as soon as this call was made public null became involved and started questioning Chris about it to which he replied that the sex was consensual with Barbara the air had shifted and null became noticeably more revols while talking to Chris and he shut down the GoFundMe page he had set up for him the police were informed and Chris was served with an emergency protective order until the 5th of August and was forbidden from communicating with his mother while she was at the hospital for senior care inspection furthermore n decided to follow up on another lead regarding Chris and Barb's relationship saying Chris gave me access to his emails years ago to help out a while back during the Joshua wise situation I've had access since Chris is aware I have access to his emails and after changing his passwords recently gave me access to them again I've helped him deal with trolls signing him up for spam and newsletters and other things like that I was going to send Chris's GoFundMe money but after talking it over and sleeping on it I've canceled the payment and I've asked GoFundMe to do a total refund I told Chris last night to spend one night sleeping in his vehicle and that this morning I would help him figure out a way to have a roof over his head until August 5th I suggested that he takes some time under the stars to reflect on his situation every so often Chris gets an email alert that barb is sent him money I've always been under the impression that barb tightly manages his finances and sends him a pittance however to my surprise at 12:38 this morning so less than 8 hours ago Barb sent Chris $750 I asked Chris about this the attached images show him questioning Chris about it who replied that barb hadn't sent him any money at all which was a blatant lie which he justified by saying that it was an emergency and that he planned on sending her the money back no ads of this could classify as a violation of the protective order since he's prohibited from stealing from Barb and he notified the police at about 6:00 p.m. on the 1st of August the police would arrive and arrest Chris while he Rambles about sonichu and the merge all filmed by killstream host Ethan Ralph going to jail and being separated from his network of supporters and enablers certainly had no beneficial effects on Chris's State of Mind as he actually became more insane during lock up in a letter of hiss he sent from jail he says firstly and vitally it should be made obvious and clear that aside from Andy Warhol my life events at present and so far can directly be compared and matched with that which have been chronicled of none other than Jesus Christ of Nazareth himself in any Holy Bible sounds reasonable in a later letter he justifies what he did to Barb essentially claiming he did it for her benefit he may or may not have heard of Christine our Lord having forn of an eventual circumstance upon Barbara that had our Lord not cleansed her Aura and regrets she would have ended up separated from our Lord by such a circumstance as a vehicular accident in August 2021 followed by a most parad paradoxical premature death from emotional depression and Trauma Wednesday November 24th 2021 Barbara was in the van and got hit by a tractor trailer truck the van is total but Barbara survived and continues to live with positive emotions and greater Divine protection by the power and Aura of Our Lord from that Soul bonding Barbara has two broken ribs and a bump on the head Chris continues to send many more letters and even drawings from his cell all the while continuing to ask for over $100,000 to pay off the mortgage of their house though now he refers to the donations as tithe and the house is the sonichu temple for a period of about 2 years there was peace as Chris got settled Behind Bars onlookers wishfully believe that perhaps this time the people around Chris would realize that he was simply unfit for living in society for just a hopeful second the possibility of the CWC sonichu Empire meeting its demise in a jail cell glimmered in the Horizon but in Christy no hope is left unshattered I've been Turkey Tom thanks for watching and until next time uh probably go outside after watching this video because this one was way too long leave me alone I've heard it times it's just not that [Applause] ah [Music]