Once upon a time a long time ago a king and a queen had a beautiful daughter named Fiona but she was possessed by a terrible curse by day a lovely princess by night a hideous ogre only true kiss could lift her curse. So Fiona waited in a tower guarded by a dragon until the day when her true love would arrive. No one would have guessed that an ogre named Shrek, whose roar was feared throughout the land, would send a dragon to kill him.
saved the beautiful Princess Fiona. Mmm, true love's kiss led to marriage and ogre babies. The kingdom of far, far away was finally at peace. Oh, goody for them, and they lived happily ever after. That is, until he signed the contract.
Now, things are going to change. Time to unveil my secret plan to bring down that meddling green ogre! Oh Shrek, I have been watching you.
Ever since you stuck your big fat nose where it didn't belong! Fifi, to the box! Beautiful Dollies! So Shrek, think you can just march in here and steal my kingdom? No way!
After all, it is the happily ever after that I deserve! Roar! I'm Shrek, and I wanted my old ogre-y life back so bad that I actually traded it for the day I was born. Because I'm so stupid, and that Rumpelstiltskin is so smart.
Aww, thank you. You're welcome. Fiona?
Don't care. Hey, back off! I don't know you! In fact, I've never seen you before in my entire life! Ooh, ha ha ha!
An ogre and a talking donkey, friends! You would not happen to have a saucer of cream on you, would ya? That's right, Fifi.
Enough of this idle chitty-chat. When this day is done, so is Shrek's life. And far, far away will be mine, mine forever! Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Fifi! I'm Nick! Um, this is the part where you're supposed to run away.
Ah! Oh God! Ah! Ah!
Ah! Oh God! Ah, feels good to be the real me again. Oh, sure is great to be wanted again. Oh no, they're after Fiona.
What's going on here? You never, never, ever, never, ever, ever sign a contract with Rumpelstiltskin! He's got the slipperiest fine print in the world!
Tell me about it. Man, even his exit clauses are sni- Exit clause? Yeah, Rumpel's contracts always come with an exit clause.
Everybody knows that. Here, I'll show you. Give me the contract.
Okay, it's right here. Oh, I must have left it in the swamp. You what?
No! You don't understand. We've got to find that car track, Shrek.
All right. Time to move out. You two coming? Coming? Where?
Swamp Patrol. Some of Rumpel's witches have been spotted there. I want to know what they're up to.
The swamp? That's great. Sure, we love Swamp Patrol, don't we, Donkey? Oh, sure. Nothing I like better than a little Swamp Patrol.
Wait. Did she say witches? Mmm, no, no, not that, no.
Wait a minute, Donkey, I don't see anything here about an exit clause. Ha! I told you they were sneaky. Here, let me see that.
Try Lou's Bliss. Hey, who's Lou? What? Give me that!
True love's kiss! Well, Fiona's my true love. That must mean all I have to do is get her to kiss me.
And I get my life back! Easy! Easy, huh?
Yeah, well I hate to break it to you, but she got a serious Queen of the Battlefield thing going on, and you ain't exactly her type. I'm just saying. I did it once, I can do it again.
Come on, back to the Ogre Camp! You know, Donkey, I can be pretty charming when I want to be. Oh yeah? Tell that to Lou. Get your paws out of there!
This basket is for Fiona. All her favorites. Heart-shaped box of slugs, skunk-scented candle, and coupons! Good for one free kiss. From me.
There! That oughta do it. Right, then it's goodbye contract and hello-loo gloves blith! True love's kiss.
Now, I just need one more thing. Hmm... I've got it!
Fiona's tiara! Her tiara? Shrek, she hadn't had a tiara since she was in that nasty old dragon's castle. Exactly. Come on, we're going to Dragon's Keep!
You! You are foiling my plans! My plans are yet meant to be foiled! Quickly! Give me my foiled plan, Vic!
Aha! All I really need is someone who will bring Shrek to me! But whom? There needs to be someone gleeful. Someone devious.
Someone I can... deal with? Let's see...
King for a month... Night for a night... Ah, here it is. Queen...
for a week. Ah, fit for a furry queen. Um, hello? Between you and me, Shrek, she is definitely not the fairest of them all.
Alright, Granny. Hand over the tiara and we'll be on our way. That's no way to treat your new queen, is it?
Queen? Yes! Even if it's only for a week.
It's a start. It's something I've always wanted. Stiltskin.
Yeah? Well, whatever you are, we're not leaving without that tiara. The ogre is right, signora. That tiara will be ours.
Hangar! This doesn't mean anything, you know! I'm still the queen!
Do you hear me? The queen! There, that oughta do it. What's this? Um, is this some kind of joke?
What? No, no, it's a-it's a present. Look, you seem okay, but-and I'm only gonna say this once-I don't have time for any of this. We gotta get back to the ogre camp right now. That-Que lío, what happened here?
I can't believe this. Rumpelmastel captured the Ogre army while we were gone. This is all my fault. I should have been here. Fiona.
And you. It's because of you that I wasn't here. I have to find them and you're coming with me.
See, I told you that Lou was going to be a whole lot of trouble. Hey, wait for me! Dance, dance, puppy boy, dance! But you promised to make me a real boy!
Ah! My contract! Hmm... I'm sorry. If today were any other day, you would be a real boy.
But today's half-off Tuesday, and that means you only get to be half a real boy. Err, which half? I'm a lefty, you know.
Well, why choose? You could have both. All you gotta do is one small, practically insignificant little favor. If I're at the back of my neck is starting to tingle this can either mean danger or I need a good brushing All right, I'm ready for you I'll take that contract, thank you very much! You're welcome.
Wow, that crafty Rumpelstiltskin outsmarted me again. That's right! Oh, did I forget to banish you and your little friends to the dungeon?
Take them aro- Uh, okay, uh, Mr. Stiltzkin, I'm ready to be a real boy now. Oh, I am sorry, but if you had just read your contract closely, you would have noticed that I am not obligated to make you... you a real real boy. You see, there were strings attached. Hey!
That's not fair! What? Would sandpaper city for you? Yes, sir.
Ahoy there, prisoners! Oh, sorry to disappoint you, but you won't be escaping today. Or any day, for that matter. It's time to play the Piper.
Wait a minute, why am I screaming? Look at him, he don't look that scary. Oh, look Shrek!
That nice Mr. Piper is filling the world with beautiful music. See that? Woo!
Yeah! Alright! Eh, as a friend of La Musica, I must say those do not look like ordinary musical notes. And those are no ordinary rots.
You can say that again. Hey, you know, you were pretty good back there. Really? Really. Oh, for the love of Lou, just kiss already!
Uh, Shrek? Nothing's happening. I can see that. Ha ha ha ha!
Oh ho ho! Ha ha ha! Of course nothing's happening, you fools! You didn't read the fine print in your contract! It's all right here.
Ha ha! In the exit clause. See?
It says right here that Fiona has to actually... I'd be in love with Shrek for it to work. Not just in life with him. Okay, that's it, Shrek. I've tried to be nice.
But now you've gone too far. My angry week. Got to get that contract back from Stiltskin. You again?
We're on to your little game. No, Shrek! You gotta believe me! It was Rumble Stillskin!
He made me do it! But I wanna help you now! I know where you're going! I even got you a boat!
Look! Well, now you're talking. Uh, Shrek, not that one! Oh.
Oh well, it beats walking. Alright you, get pedaling! M-m-m-m-me? Look, Captain!
Whale pool! Hold tight, men! Fire the anchor!
Aye, Captain! Come, come, our anchor! We're drifting! I can see that!
Whoa! Hold tight then! Whoa! Blast!
That was a close one. Maybe we should surrender. Me lay that top, biggins.
Uh-oh! Another warthog! Get ahead!
Curses! Fire the other anchor! Guns away, sir!
Captain! Captain! We've cast off!
We're head towards the whirlpool! What are we gonna do? Grab your skivvies, Miggins! We're going for a swim!
There! That wasn't so hard, was it? Okay, this is it!
Stiltskin and my contract are both inside! And do you really think that getting your contract back will make things better? It has to. Well, let's go do it, then.
You know, Shrek, when this is all over, I could really get to like you. Hmm. Yeah.
If only you'd really love me. Come on! Let's go! You hear that, Lou?
We're coming for you! It's payback time. You're almost out of time, Shrek. Let the victory party begin!
It's time to let loose with my goose! Hit it with the... Hello good people, tis I, Rumpelstiltskin, the rightful charismatic- The Duke of the Dance Squad!
Come on, let's boogie! Oh yeah, oh, come on, shake it with just-Not so fast, Stiltzkin! I want my contract back! Uh, uh, uh, track... Oh, uh, uh, is that you?
You'll never get your contract back! Never! Do you hear me?
Oh, hey there, Shrek. Look, I can see that you're angry. Oh, you have no idea.
Wait, maybe we can cut a deal. No waiting and no more deals. All of this ends now, Stiltskin.
I'll take back my contract, thank you very much. You're welcome. You hear that?
You may have the contract, Shrek, but I still win! Your time is up! Oh no, it isn't. I don't understand it, Shrek.
But I should have known. You're what I was waiting for. What I've always been waiting for.
My true love. No! I'm back! Oh, Fiona, just look at you. You're beautiful.
Shrek, I don't know what's gotten into you, but I like it. I'm sorry, Fiona. I guess I was looking for something I thought I'd lost.
But then I realized I'd- I've got all I need right here. Alright, you two gonna make googly eyes at each other all night? Cause we got a party to put on here, and I gotta get my dance on. Might even do some singing. Anybody got any requests?
Oh, sure, I've got a request, Donkey. It's called Peace and Quiet. Ha ha ha, that's real funny, Shrek.
Almost like that guy, what's his name? Ripley whozits? Pigley whatzits? Uh, Rumpelstiltskin?
No! Wow, I can't believe... Hey! This is heavier than it looks.
Oh, this is great! Fiona may be like... Watch out!
Oh, yeah No fair ow take that that donkey is too much ah Yeah, keep your eyes peeled for the whole Stand back Haha you want to climb Look out! I've kicked pebbles tougher than you! Keep your eyes o-Like a gazelle. It's easy.
For me. And...Done! Hey there.
You wanna join the fight? Fiona says we can use all the help we can get. Fiona? Fiona's leading the resistance against-Fiona's leading a resistance?
What's all this about? Ooh, this must be my lucky day! Hey rookie, if the fights are too tough, you should buy cookies defense up. It'll really save you out there.
Stand back! Wow! What a find!
Adjust the world. If you're ever lost, welcome to my store. Welcome to my store! Ooooooh sugar!
You're gonna like that! Thanks for coming around! Stop on by here again, I'll be fixing up a whole new batch of goodies!
You-Uh, donkey? I-Uh, it didn't have nothing to do with no magical bee-Uh... That's good, cause I ate some-No, donkey! You-What?! Hmm, can't do that yet.
Oh well. Uh-oh, guess I'll have to try this one a bit later. Let's just take this one oil barrel at a time.
Aye. Well, thank you very much! Look out! Oh, nice! Uh-oh, I'm not strong enough yet to do that.
Maybe I should talk to that ogre in the camp again. Ah, Goss is enticing as cut-nip. Watch out! Thanks! Dios mio!
Time to light up the town, y'all! Look out! This is our swamp!
No ogres allowed! Come on, let's go! Looks like that- If you want Here you go stand back this one's for you Look out! I train for moments like this. Well, that's not working yet, now is it?
Take that! Hi! Who turned out the lights?
Oh, this is heavy. What a rotten, rat-infested hole in the ground this is. Uh, well it is a swamp, you know.
Yeah. Great, isn't it? Enough sightseeing. Let's get to it.
This is heavier than it looks. Mmm! Aye!
Hoo, you black and rock! One oil barrel, coming right up! Time to say goodnight!
Home run! Tango! Whoa, this is heavy! Oh no, another ogre! Time to get to work!
You know, I don't know which is worse, fighting ogres, or witches making us fight ogres! Okay, you ask for it! Hey, stop! Look, that hurts! My arm!
Hope you like seeing stars! Hey, stop running and let me catch you! Hey! No fair!
I love a good rumble! And this one's for you too! I'm gonna get you!
Gotcha! No fair! Plenty more where that came from! Get back here!
Oh, I'm gonna get you! Watch it, pal! Hey! No fair!
This one's for you! Hey! We sure beat the pants off them, didn't we? This is heavier than it looks.
Fuck! Have to come back later for this My lantern fire isn't nearly strong enough looks like I'm gonna need a more powerful flame to light this Watch out! Mental note, I'll do that later.
No oil barrel! Stand back! OOF NO!
One oil barrel coming right up! Watch out! I... I don't understand it. Where's my house?
It used to be right here. Uh, maybe we should get going? It's a veritable tower of fun in the un-normal world! That's right, it's Dragon's Keep!
Gee, this little guy is cute! Let's fire up this witch's brew! My lantern fire isn't nearly strong enough.
Looks like I'm gonna need a more powerful flame to light this. That should make it glow. This is it! This is the highest tower in the castle! I've got something special for you!
Watch it! You are no match for my big sword! Hey! Watch it! Go ahead!
Power like a little mouse! Apples! My favorite! Hey, watch it!
Did you get a boo-boo? Never knew I was such a green thumb! You don't get chance against us witches!
No! You don't stand a chance against us witches! That'll teach you!
Dear little apple tree Must we take what isn't yours? You don't stand a chance against us witches! Stop that!
You don't stand a chance against us witches! Grow! Grow! Apples! My favorite!
I never knew I was such a green thumb! Ha! My dear little apple tree...
Put that apple down! You don't stand a chance against us witches! Ouch! Did someone get hurt?
You don't stand a chance against us witches! This one's for you! You're making me angry!
That was smart! I never knew I was such a green thumb! This is my favorite!
You don't stand a chance against us witches! Help me... Growl!
Growl! Dro- Hey, Pinocchio, what are you doing here? Nothing much. I saw you coming this way and...
figured... you must be going to the castle. You know, I can help you get there. You can?
How? Well Shrek, I'm glad you asked. I can almost say with some near certainty that the fastest way to the castle is by boat. And one way to get one, not entirely without merit, is to click three missing bells and return them to the village. The resulting ringing will very likely, in all probability, ring a boat!
And you can take that, or vice versa, straight to the castle! Sounds reasonable to me. Are you sure that it is wise to follow in the footsteps of the little wooden boy? Well, if he was lying, his nose would grow, right?
Hmm... Nope, all clear! There, see?
Nothing to worry about. HOOK! Watch it, pal! Oh yeah, attention!
We're gonna need the rest of these bells to call the boat! Go get em! Oh look, it's color-coded ya-Hmm, that is a- Ah, good old far far away. Welcome to the village.
Wow! That oughta chase him off. Amazing!
Look at that! Wonderful! Wow!
What a find! Looking for an angry mob? Look no further. It's the not-so-normal village. Follow me, guys!
Oh man, this is terrible. More guards! Do not worry.
They will soon fear the sharp sting of my steel. No, Puss. We need to outsmart them.
Oh great. Now we're in real trouble. Hey, can't you read? Gape out!
Yeah, this'll light a fire under you. Go on! We're being attacked!
Oh no! Run! Come on, buddy!
If you are smart you will-Ouch. Better start running! Oh no!
Run! No! Heck.
This video was made possible by... Please subscribe! And hit the bell! Where do you think you're going?
Don't just stand here, go! That oughta chase him off. The code!
We're being attacked! Prepare to be dazzled. Don't even think about it! Oh, I love the Fiona fireworks! Ah, boy!
Hey! What the... This one's for you!
Better start running! Oh! Run! Stop! Okay, this way!
I'm almost entirely not uncertain, but this way is unclear of trouble! Oh, watch this! So spot-Oh, I love the Fiona Firework! Nah! Yeah, this'll light a fire under you!
Go on! Oh no! Run! That boy!
I do not wish to alarm anyone, but the- Whoa, this is heavy. This is heavier than it looks. Uh, maybe we should get going?
Aye! That's it! That's the last bell! Uh, won't be lo- Oh, my waffles lie over the ocean.
My waffles lie over the sea. Oh, bring back my waffles to me. Oh, I'm never going to see another waffle again.
Shrek, I got to get out of here. Those waffles need me. Donkey, stop that, will you?
And start looking for a way out. Oh, yeah, sorry. I was delirious with hunger. You're not getting away with this! Ouch!
If I may not... Whoa! Flee not! I will catch thee!
What the... Come backeth! Hey, watch it! Oof! Yee-ding-it, my armor!
Oof! Oof! Charge!
Oof! Defy me not! We'll catch thee!
Defy me not! Ow! Oof! Watch it pal!
Ye dingin'liar! What the?! Go!
Come backeth! Ow! Come ye, dick!
Watch it, pal! Flee not! Oof! Whoa! Come back here!
Whoa! Ouch! Hey, watch it!
Oof! Whoa! Oof!
Fight! Ow! I catch thee!
Yeet! Hanging my armor! Oh, run! Flee not! Oh!
Yee-ting in my armor! See you later! Whoa!
I will catch thee! Ouch! Ow!
Whoa! I love a good rumble! Yee-ting in my armor!
Defy me not! Ouch! Oh! This one's for you!
Yeet! King in my armor! And this one's for you too! Ow!
Whoa! Oh Time to say goodnight Fleeing! Whoa!
Ouch! Hold on! Ow!
You're making me angry! Oof! I love a good rumble!
What the?! Yee-ding-it, my armor! No! Oof! Come backeth!
If I may not, this one's for you too! Yee, dig in my armor! Oof!
Hey! Oof! I will catch thee!
Yee, dig in my armor! This one's for you! Oof! Oof! Oof!
Hey, watch it! Flee not! Whoa! Oof! Ow!
Plenty more where that came from! Yeet! Diggin'my alma! Oof! I almost felt that!
You're makin'me angry! Ow! You like seeing scarves!
Ouch! See ya later! Oh Chop ye king in my armor I may not Ouch!
Oh! Cookie! Ding it! My arm! Hold on!
We sure beat the pants off them, didn't we? I'm starting to run out of patience. I have always loved the docks. So much excitement, so much adventure.
So many crates filled with fish. Well that goes without saying. But it appears that we just did. I can't understand it. Why didn't the kiss work?
Heh, I may not have my sea lick. Hey, how do I- Why steer this thing? Just keep pedaling.
I'll steer the raft. What if someone else gets on? Then I guess follow them. Come on, let's get going. You know this would go a whole lot better if you'd just stand closer together.
Come on, everybody. Group hug. Did I ever tell you guys I'm afraid of crabs? They sometimes mistake me for driftwood. Oh, that is just the dumbest thing I have ever...
Ah! Crabs! Crabs! Oh, great. That pirate...
ship is blocking our way yeah and those whirlpools don't look too friendly either never mind that we've got to get that chain loose come on Can we d- Take a break! My legs are getting tired! What? How can you be tired? You're like a glorified wagon wheel.
Keep on turning! Teach you! Hey! Hey!
Can I come too? No, you stay here and guard the boat. Yeah, and just hope they don't show up with axes.
Axes? Hey look! Donkey-Hope this doesn't blow up in my face.
Just kicking it! It's just like kicking a soccer ball. A scary, explosive soccer ball.
It doesn't blow up in my face. Hey, how'd those blasted scallywags get past our traps? Ha, guess they weren't as ingenious as you said they were.
I got an ogre, and I'm not afraid to use him. Oh! Oh! Take that!
Slow down! Hit! Bam! Bam!
Ka-blam! Yee-gad! Oh, yeah! Come you hit me! Ouch!
Stop that! Splody dog! Slam!
Bam! Ka-Blam! Alright! Take that!
Oi! You can't get away from the likes of me! Ouch! Ouch!
Oh yeah! Just kicking it! I'm gonna get ye! Blow me down! Slam!
Bam! Ka-blam! Take that! You hit me! Ow!
Don't let him get away with that mate! You just missed me, doubloons! Arrrr! A sensitive sign!
Aw yeah! Now I'm handsome and rich! Wait a second, how come I can't kick open those golden locks?
Hmm... You stay right there, I gotta go-Oh! This is cool!
It's just like kicking a soccer ball. A scary, explosive soccer ball. It's gonna blow!
Bomb lit! Take cover! You did not mean to hit me! Just kicking it! Man, I wish they'd stop firing them big ol'cannonballs at us.
This is heavier than it looks! Whoa, I've got a live one here! Uh, are you sure these things are safe? Steady, steady...
Nice! Whoa, this is heavy! Um, are they supposed to be flashing like this? Watch it, pal! This is heavier than it looks!
Steady... Steady... Uh, are you sure these things are safe? Ow! Aye.
Look out! There you go! I've got a live one here! Hey, watch it! Um, are they supposed to be flashing like this?
I almost felt that! Whoa, this is heavy! Uh, are you sure these things are safe? Stay light on my feet. No problemo.
Whoa! You're making me angry! Do not look so surprised.
Oh, Reed. It was nothing. Dios mio!
We gotta stop these lovers! Yeah! Otherwise the captain will have our guts! Let's get him! Do not dare to cross boots in boots for I am him You are no man who that stinks My nose by a whisker fight me if you do not make my clothes come out Ouch!
Blow me down! How does that feel? Blow me down!
You just missed me, doubloons! This one's for you! Grrr!
No! Avast! Take that!
You just missed me, doubloons! Hey, run you binge rat! That's what you get! Avast!
Ugh! You hit me! That'll teach you! You hit me! Alright!
This is heavier than it looks. Stay light on my feet. It's easy...
for me. I am. Is that what I really look like? Here you go! Look out!
Oof! Ouch. Ooh, not stop that! Ow!
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr You run from me! Aye! Remember, Blue!
You can never have too many bows. That did the trick! The party! Now's my chance to dance with that dishy Rumpelstiltskin! Uh, where are we?
We are in the cellar, underneath the castle, boss. How do you know, Quos? I never forget a rat. You can't run from me!
Ouch! Oof! I love a good rumble! I like it! Ouch!
This one's for you! I'll catch you in a spell! Looks like Stiltskin's getting ready for a party. Uh, if no, you call this a party? Well, at least...
Psst, if you... Look! Another one of those colored lenses! I do believe the color we will need is purple. We must combine a red light and a blue one.
That's great, Puss! We'll do that! Hey, how come you know so much about colors? Well, you cannot have this much style without knowing a little something about color.
Hey, I've been looking for you forever! Huh, that was easy. I'll catch you in a spell!
Hey! Oof! Ow!
Ow! Time to say goodnight! Ouch! You can-Grr! Oof!
Ouch! See you later! I'll catch you in a spell!
Nahahahahahaha! You can't run from me! Hehehehe!
Aw! Grr! Woohoo! Catch you in a spell! Ouch!
You can't run from me! Hey, watch it! Whoa, this is heavy!
Come back here! This is heavier than it looks! I almost felt that.
Plenty more where that came from. Ouch! I'll catch you in a... Hope you like seeing stars.
You can't run from me. I'll catch you in a spell. KAKEEE Home run! I'll catch you in a...
And this one's for you too! Hope you like seeing stars! Plenty more where that came from! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
Come back here! Ha ha ha! Come back here! Aye.
You can't run from me! Whoa, this is heavy. I'll catch you in a spell! Oof! Home run!
Ha ha! Yeet! Ouch! Ha ha ha ha! Come back here!
You can't run from me! Hey! Oof!
I'll catch you in a cell! Haha! Cruise easily!
Ehehehehe! The party! Now's my chance to dance with that dishy Rumpelstiltskin!
No chance you had! He's mine! Ahahaha!
Look! Two lenses! The red and the green.
This one might prove to be tricky. Tricky? How come nobody ever says, Oh, this will be a piece of cake?
I mean, everybody likes cake! I'll catch you in a spell! This one's for you! Come back here! Ouch!
You! Oof! How does that feel? Hee hee hee!
Ouch! Grr! Haha, care!
Gate, you don't scare me. Ooh! Where's the syrup?
You can't run from me! I'll catch you in a spell! Ouch!
Stop that! You can't run from me! I care! I'll catch you in a spell! Well, what do you know?
It works! I care! This is heavier than it looks.
I'll catch you in a spell! Ouch! I'll catch you in a spell!
Whoa! Ouch! You can't run from me! You're making me angry!
Come back here! Now this one's for you too! Come back!
What the... Ouch! I love a good rumble.
Aye. Ouch! Ha ha ha ha! Come back here!
Come back here! Ha ha ha ha! Come back here!
Come back here! Ouch! Watch it, pal! You can...
I'll catch you in a spell! This is heavier than it looks! Time to say goodnight! Whoa, this is heavy!
This is heavier than it looks. Not this way! You know if I stand around too long I get leg cramp. Do you hear that? The party's starting.
Let's go! I feel particularly hex-y tonight. You can't run from me! Okay, the last one we need is orange. Orange?
Great, I like oranges. Especially marmalade or some orange juice. Donkey, for once would you please get your mind off your stomach and just concentrate? Ooh, orange concentrate!
Now how can I get my mind off food if yours is on it too? Aye. Wow, this place hasn't changed one bit. Oh yes it has.
Grab your dancing shoes, cause you're about to cut a rug of destruction! Next stop, Rumpel's Castle! Whoa, this is heavy!
Huh, that was easy. Woo! Do you hear that? The party's starting! You know what to do, girls!
Yeah! Sweep up the dance floor with them! Okay, you ask for it!
You're too late, Shrek! Defy me not! See you later! Charge!
Yee-pingin'my armor! Take that! It's over, Ogao!
Yee-dingin'my armor! Hope you like seeing stars! Come back or pay the consequences!
Ouch! Look out! I trained for moments like this! Thou dost know how to hit! Ouch!
Take that! Thou dost know how to hit! Yee-ding!
Look out! I trained for moments like this! Thou dost know how to hit! Hey!
You Witches stop them You're almost done, Shrek! How does that feel? I will catch thee!
Ouch! Oh, gee dangit, my armor! Oh, no, copay the consequences! Take that! Ow!
Happily ever after's almost mine! That'll teach you! You all dost know how to hit! Look out! I'm trained for moments like this.
Those ogres must be stopped now, before I flip my thing! That was good! You'll never get your contract back! Never! Do you hear me?
Never, never, never! Prepare to fight! How does that- How dost know how to hit? Watch it!
That is a gas! If I may not! Look out! I train for moments like this. Yee, take it my way!
Stop that! Come back or pay the consequences! That's what you get! You don't know how to hit!
Ouch! Ouch! AY!
How does that feel? This one's for you! Watch it! Hey! Take that!
Your time is running out Shrek, your day is nearly done You'll never get your contract back no matter how fast you run Thou dost know how to hit Take that! Watch it! That's what you get Look out!
I train for moments like this I train for moments like this Watch it! That'll teach you! Woohoo!
Hehehe! Charge! Aargh!
This one's for you! Watch it! Aargh! Yeet! Thing in my armor!
Take a-Ugh! Ugh! Watch it!
Hey! Aargh! No!
That'll teach you! No! Stop that!
Kumbaketh! This one's for you! Hey! Oof! You may run it, but you cannot hide it!
That's what you get! Aaaaah! Yee-ing in my armor!
How does... Hehehe! Hehehe!
Ahahaha! I feel... Ay!
That'll teach you! Oof! Whoa! Ow! Look at the couch!
Oof! Oof! Kick that! Oof! Come back or pay the consequences!
Watch it! Stop that! Hey! Oof!
Ow! This one's for you! Watch it!
Ah! How does that feel? Watch it! What did you get? I will catch thee!
Take that! Ow! Bleed not! Whoa! That'll teach you!
Oof! Oof! Oof!
Ow! Ow! Oof!
How does that feel? Whoa! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Oof! Oof! Ow! Ouch! Ow!
Oof! Ow! Oof! Oof!
Oof! Oof! Oof!
Oof! Whoa! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ow! Stop that one! Go ahead, power like a little mouse! Ayeee!
Fight me, if you dare! Victory feels so much better than defeat. Attention, attention!
I am offering the deal of a lifetime to anyone who could stop these horrible ogres, that pudgy pussycat, and that dreadful talking dunke. Get those ogres, you worthless witches! Ouch! Oof! Ouch!
This video is a derivative work of the Touhou Project. The original video was made by You can-Oof! I'll catch you in a spell!
Oof! Oof! I will have a good-You've found truth to everything! What the-Hey!
Hands off the pointy hat! You know where that came from! Oof!
Ow! Hey! Hands off the pointy hat! I'm here to fight you out today as...
The end of Ogre Day! Oof! You can't run from me!
Soon, Shrek! Whom will be gone? Whomever! Ouch! Eugh!
Oof! Eugh! I'll punch you in a spell!
I'll make an earring! Ouch! Attention loyal citizens of far far away!
Ahem! You are about to watch your magnificent leader... Mwah? Defeat the horrible and most horrible smelling... Shrek!
Ow! Time to say goodnight! Take the downed bat!
OK! Oof! Ow! Hey! And this one's for you too!
Hands off the pointy hat! Oof! Ow! Oof! But you know where that came from!
Hey! Hands off the pointy hat! There once was an ogre named... See ya later! The end!
Hey! Hands off the pointy hat! This one's for you!
Oof! HAPPILY EVER AFTER IS ALMOST MINE! HEY! I LOVE A GOOD NUMBER!
It's over, Ogre! Hey! Hands off the pointy hat! Time to say goodnight!
Yee-ting in my armor! And this one's for you too! Hey, watch it! Sly'em!
Ouch! No! Hey!
Hands off the pointy hat! I just stopped him! You're almost done, Shrek!
This is where it ends, Shrek. You, finally gone and forgotten. And me, with the happily ever after that I have always deserved!
EEEEH! If I may know... Look at you, or where the hell did you come from?
Get those ogres you worthless witches! Ow! Time to say goodnight!
EEEEH! Ouch! Now this one, I almost felt that! Your time is almost up!
Woah! Oh! You're too late, Shrek!
Oof! Yay! Who won?
Here's on the pointy hat! Ouch! Yee-tingin'my alma! Hope you liked seeing stars! You're one to one with an opening track!
See ya! Ouch! Yee-tingin'my alma!
See ya later! Take down that ogre! I love a good water, pal! Hey!
How about the pointy hat? Hope you like seeing stars! For soon, Shrek! You'll be gone forever! Plenty more where that came from!
Get ready for a taste of my poison! Time to say goodnight! The end of ogre day! Yeet-ting in my alma! Say goodbye, Shrek, to everything!
Ouch! Charge! Oh! Yee-tingin'my armor! This one's for you, too!
Ouch! Hey! Those ogres must be stopping now before I flip my thing!
I love good rumbles! Ouch! Kung bucket!
Ouch! Yee-tingin'my armor! Oh!
Ouch! Ouch! You're a wreck! You'll be gone forever! Yee-tingin'my armor!
Go! Yeet! Toghran! Yeet! Toghran!
Yeet! Ouch! Ouch! Home run!
Haha! Oof! Ouch!
Ow! Oof! Orca likes seeing stars!
I'm hereby... Hands off the pointy hat! ...and...
The end of Ogre Day! Ow! Haha! Time to sleep in my hand! Hands off the pointy hat!
Ow! Oof! Oof! This one's for you! Ouch!
Oof! Ye tiggin'liars! Get those ogres, you worthless witches! Watch it, pal! Hopefully Ever After is almost mine!