[Music] I'm capable of love and I'm capable of receiving love you're not saying it like you mean it tell the person you don't know what's coming next so better tell the person well say I have the capacity to love and I have the capacity to receive love in form of gifts say it well say it well you never know your your iPhone can be with the person sitting next to you you don't know someone is like ah this my friend that's not even share eyes with me the one sitting next to me that will give me iPhone good evening everyone how we doing I need energy if you don't give me energy I'll go to my house [Music] we're talking about love come on even people can pretend church people you can ah you people can we bind and lose ah today cuz tomor is Valentine so now let's be honest you know one of the one of the Hallmarks of the first couple you know that really defines them the Bible says they were what naked and not ased talk to me they were what noted they were naked and not that means they were honest right okay so if you're a married couple you're married here and you celebrate Valentine let me see your hand married marriage is be be proud now come on why I'm not about to I'm not about to send you to Hell Fire don't worry cuz we don't know what people want to St now okay so you're not married but you know you just love love you celebrate Valentine let me see your [Music] hand are you sh raise your hand well now the rest of you what do you do talk to me what do you do the youngest here are feeling cool like we don't do Val is a lie I don't know how many of you read the story I shared some weeks ago on my Facebook page and I was talking about how I I used to be naughty back in secondary school so in secondary school I used to be the social perect isn't it obvious yeah I used to be the social perect so at that time had I given my life to Christ I can't even remember was around that time that I gave my life to Christ so as a social prefect uh director chin you had the sole responsibility it was the boarding house so you had the sole responsibility of uh calling out people who had letters you know that kind of thing it was like a lifetime achievement you know how you just stand in dining hall everybody you know you're not be reading out the thing with so much pride shoulder p on your you know your shoulders like just be calling the names out you know like I have your life in my hand better come and collect your letter so when it's close to Valentine and I had some friends that would go and take their old letters and resal it so that when I'm calling names I'll call like 10 names 10 letter for one person I know how that would be in the dining hall everybody like be Clapp clap me and the person we know what we did his old letters nothing but as in the person probably didn't even have a new letter because usually you would get your Valentine letters about the time of Valentine so you know I did that coup then and um you know I really used to help me a lot it was just recently I now expose myself that's how my second this came for me on face so ah morning that's what you were doing I said well they gave me letter I called out their names that's all you know but thinking back today I'm just looking at that and I'm asking myself is that how much We crave is it love or validation from people is that how we Define who we are and what love really is by you know you know it's a whole lot and I really really do not envy my genzi people because the pressure is high God is getting wor by the day as in even I at my age like this and you know I'm not young I go on social media I'm feeling pressure married for 20 years I'm still feeling pressure the likes are wik James pressuring everybody left right and Center Middle up and down and in your mind you're like what's going on here let us breathe let the singles breathe so if I'm feeling pressured I'm asking myself what are the genz people feeling you know but the what I've come to realize is the greatest love gift you can give yourself is not the gift of another person it's the gift of yourself a because you cannot give what you don't have the reason why it seems that there's so much validation seeking is because there's emptiness on the inside and trust me there's that deception to think that marriage is going to fix it you know you hear all those sweet lines yeah you complete me better complete yourself complete yourself in Christ we are complete in talk to me it's like you don't like my message maybe I should be going home like people you're saying the things we want to hear you're all saying that they should buy us flowers a flow that will die chocolates that will give you a sugar level now am I saying those things are wrong of course not that's not what I'm saying I'm sure you know that that's not what I'm saying what I'm saying is that the greatest gift either as a lady or as a guy trust me that you can give to anyone is the gift of yourself whereby you have found How To Love Yourself some of us can't even stand 5 minutes in front of the mirror and appraise yourself how many of you do it no I didn't say confession I mean stand in front of a mirror and like how do you say that in English God finished work on this one I'm complete head to toe ahh well structured well carved everything complete on a more serious note and it's not just self motivation you believe it you need to be able to do that find that confidence in yourself to love yourself as in be in love with you so that if anyone wants to come and add themselves to you they will walk Hard and I think personally that was what God did with Adam if you have questions we'll go into questions cuz I know we have some some please don't sh ask me questions that I would just say that one ask Jesus no but on a more serious note we can write our questions down or when the time comes I can give us the microphone to ask our questions the greatest gift GI you can give anyone is the gift of yourself that has been thoroughly thoroughly worked on now I'm not saying that you are perfect at the point of marriage no but there's a measure of you that has gone through process that you yourself have come imagine that you are joining yourself to somebody else and you don't even know half of who you are you don't even know what makes you you you don't even know where you're going in life and I find is the Lord with women join yourself to another person and you yourself become lost we find that a lot in marriage become lost in marriage your identity is lost we are trying to look for you in the marriage you are not there someone says he going to point a and you know you're are going to point D but you join yourself to The Chariot that is going to point a and then along the line so many reasons you hear some really mindboggling reasons why people settle for marriage as in some really mindboggling and then you begin to ask yourself this is a lifetime commitment jenz I know that we we have this whole idea around the fact that you can get in and get out I know it's it's trending strengthen now that if you enter and it's not working you can leave no that was not how it was in our days and that was why the yard stick was harder before we get before we got into it marriage is not a social engagement absolutely not it cannot be a so it's not another time to call the whole world to come and eat food and you know you've got all the vendors all the big names splashed around your IV and you know hav we will know we spend a lot of energy on preparation for the wedding day without any preparation for the marriage itself I am one person who Advocates proper marriage counseling before you go to the Altar and I'm not saying the marriage counseling that your church people will plan for you they will do that because yes you've come to submit your date I'm talking about signing up for a professional marriage counselor because sometimes your pastors are not professional marriage counselor I hope you know that so when someone says I'm a certified professional marriage counselor that means that they study certain things and they can read in between the lines when you're talking and most times when you go for such counseling they're not telling you don't marry they're probably telling you wait give yourself another two years because time time time speaks volume that thing that doing you chaa cha cha now give yourself another two years you'll be asking yourself what exactly did I see it hasn't happened to you before is it true that love is blind talk talk talk to me church I'm asking a question now is it true that love is blind Divine do you think Love is Blind it is please give him mic give him mic is love blind please give me mic oh they say love is blind they say marriage will open it and I I've heard some people also say stuff like they are scared of marriage is there anyone like that in the room Divine is love blind somewhat to some extent please expans shate um so I believe there is depth to love um go go ahead go ahead don't mind me don't mind me there is there is depth to love there's depth Yes To Love love yes so what we see in the surface the appearance is not the full picture okay yes um so what you see is most of the time 30% of the whole picture right so to unlock the remaining 70% you need some level of spirituality spiritual discernment spiritual discernment okay you have to pray for the Lord to open your eyes wow okay so I'm going to uh go you know U ride on what you just said now that does that mean that God must show you D did God bring Pastor before you in the middle of the night and say my sister my sister my daughter my daughter this is your husband is is that is that the acceptable rule no no but he said God must reveal to you so what's that Revelation how do you define that Revelation please give director chin mic let's talk oh are you learning or we should just close and go home no because there's also that aspect where we feel like the person has God has to show give you the name give you the picture and tell you this is the person are there other ways God communicate to you when it comes to the choice of person that you want to spend the rest of your life with director CH I believe that love is a decision okay it takes two people to make that decision right God doesn't have to speak from heaven and say hello brother OK is your husband you know that's the name that came to my mind that's the name that came to my mind you know but as you walk with God you're able to make that decision okay because you have the spirit of the spirit of God I love that I love that thank you I love that you know the truth is is amazing when it comes to the choice of marriage sometimes that scenario does happen where God will specify yes it does happen so we're not ruling it out but trust me the greatest most important way God will lead you is how he has always LED you on other things amen so I have a problem with people that God has not LED regarding what job to take where to live where to work who to be friends with and then they wake up in the morning and they ultimately by force want God to tell them who to marry do you think God works that way because when he's leading you based on the things that the all these other lead to to things oh this morning you were planning to go there say no don't what's your name Christel Christel this morning probably wanted to go to dmu I'm just saying and then on your way the Holy Spirit just leads you and say just say there's just that nudging in your heart and say no go and see what's your name Shaman shamain yeah go and see shamain now you didn't realize that Shain had a bad dream overnight and she really needed someone to talk to but you were going to DM you but because you've trained your spirit man right to understand when God is leading you you make a U-turn and you go to shain's house and then when she sees you like wow just the person I wanted to see God has trained you the the next day something else will happen he those are the little ways in which he trains you when it's now time for you to find who to marry it's not going to be hard to know because he has trained you to hear his voice and you know how to but the problem is we haven't been trained or allowed him to tra allow him to train us on those other regular decisions that we make and all of a sudden when it comes the decision of a lifetime partner we start running Helter Skelter and we just expect that God will just speak to us and tell us that is the person did God say anything to Adam when he brought Eve talk talk talk talk talk to me did he when he made him sleep and he woke up did God say anything was God in that conversation are you sure let's go there please show it show put it on the screen Genesis 2 the god whisper into Adam's ears and say Adam Adam the wife has come wake up wake up can we have that then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man he made into a woman and he brought her to the man and Adam said we didn't hear God say anything why do you think God didn't say anything God had trained Adam how did God train Adam he brought animals ever wondered why he brought the animals who said that it is not good for you to be alone who's was it Adam that woke up one morning and say my father my father this loneliness he's killing me I'm so lonely send me a partner to set me free please don't record that about nobody more serious know the first couple Genesis 2 we know the story right the Lord God created a garden planted a garden put the man in there and he said keep it and tend it so what was the first thing God gave man work he gave him assignment he gave him purpose dear sister future ambition it's not going anywhere have you met those kind of brothers that they are always in the future have you met them ah follow me now I may not have television don't let me use that line because Pastor de used that line for me he used that line no have television said but in my vision are many televisions ah and truly in that Vision television y glory to God you can attest to it you know but you know those brothers that their mouth is very sweet you know and there are those ones that are the extreme cases whereby they will make you feel like your life is worthless without them and they are not going anywhere you know those kind of brothers that's not even where I'm going to so the Bible says that God created it and all that and then and the Lord said it is not good say it is not good preach it to your neighbor it is not good if you're a sister sitting beside a brother please preach it to the brother it is not good hey where are the brothers the sisters that are sitting next to sisters please the brothers are around you touch them say it is not good who said it is not good do you know more than God do you do you know more than God God looked at Adam he had given him what purpose he had given him an identity had given him work the guy was so locked up I don't understand for the brothers of today Adam was so locked in the assignment that he took God coming he's like Isaac this young man if you stay like this you will not marry until you're 0 I'm going to he was walking a focused guy now there are also those kind of guys that are just so focused and they don't realize that it is not good H it's not good that's what the Bible says that's what God God so that means God was watching Adam as he was really tending and keeping the garden sweat was it sweating okay was sweating okay did you see him now he was sweating hard working man I'm sure the guy had biceps or whatever he was was sh working really doing all of that and God looked at him this is a man that God himself formed created gave him work put his breath upon him and he became a living soul and he looked at him and said ah and Genesis 1 the Bible says everything God created at every Point time he will say what and it is good he now came to Adam ah it's not complete the brothers in the house just imagine life without women no no no that's not my my director did not say that he didn't say it no no I bra Steven is a good man he will not say that how will he say that that there will be no there will be no what no no he he didn't say did he say it he didn't say it no he's still he still good a man to say that you no he not say it I cannot tell you D your heart will break but you know the beautiful thing about it Genesis one backtrack God had already created man and woman male and female created he them so he had so in Genesis 2 in bringing forth Eve that's not the first time Eve showed up but the truth is you don't show up until you are needed if didn't show up on the scene until she was needed so you don't show up on the scene just because there's already a plan for you there was a plan Genesis one confirmed that he didn't bless man alone male and female he blessed them but when it came to bringing it forth he started with the man and then at a point he said it's not good that you should be alone he didn't say that you should be lonely he wasn't lonely for some people what drives them to those he had he had responsibility in terms of he he had a sense of purpose he had a sense of purpose and then God said it's not good for you to be alone I I will make you what's that verse let's go there Genesis 2 can we have it please and the Lord God said it is not good that man should be alone I will make him a helper beneath him a helper that he will Lord it over talk to me a a helper that he would stand on on top said a helper what what is the meaning of comparable perfect match it doesn't mean the same comparable doesn't mean you are the same it just means you are suitable you are fit you compliment so the areas he relax that's why you people should just lay to rest this whole argument about men and different from women before un call men will be forever different from women the reasoning will be different and have you noticed that God has a unique sense of humor he doesn't bring two couple together that two people together in marriage that are that are the same have you noticed it the married couples in the house you and your spouse are you the same do you do you agree on the same thing forget all the as that they use well those my people there forget all these that they I wear pink today you wear pink I wear brown you wear brown matching color you finish my sentence I say ah you say be but it's the be that's the beauty of marriage that word and opposite G that's what is making the marriage sweet that I Like It Hot you like it cold that I like beans that you like rice after like 20 years we will not like rice and beans together you get it we will it will mix we will not like warm you like hot you will like warm no I'm telling you no I'm I'm I'm making it you know sound funny but that's the reality of marriage eventually you you make compromises till you come to a middle ground and then you just realize that what you didn't like before you are now liking small small and it's called love because love doesn't seek to change the person love seeks to love the person into changing do you get me sometimes we want to we feel love is about you must change to be like me said no I'm going to love you as you till you change and that's the kind of love Christ has for us amen I will make him a helper comparable to him so we are Partners we're working together it's just for the purpose of of how do I put it now uh structure in marriage as it is with everything that God said the man is the head of the home and the man is the head of the wife but he now says the man is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the man and like I usually say a headless man cannot provide headship for a woman did someone get that a man without head can't be saying I'm your head and the reason why the man is under Christ is that the man has submitted to the totality of the character of Christ and that's the kind of man that can provide headship for a woman comparable to him next verse quickly out of the ground the Lord God formed every every Beast is it not interesting that God came and said it's not good that you're alone you know God did all those poetic thing that wow yeah just alone just stealing the ground ah you need a beautiful lady to just be bringing you water just be funing you making you okay and all of that you know saying all those beautiful things to Adam said I will make you you know God making a promise I will make you you know a helper it's comparable to you and then the next thing he brings animals have you thought about it why want to answer me why why did he bring animals he said I will make you a helper we have Farm dogs they helpers we have animals that are like helpers AB talk to me now oh okay that's fine project this please project away QR code so you can write your questions and then it's easier that way talk to me people now oh yeah talk to me talk to me why did he bring animals microphone is Q and A I'm not the only one that will be talking here why why why do we think he brought the animals he said I I I I I want to make you you know a a helper comparable suitable for you and then the next ver says out of the ground the Lord formed every beast of the field and every bed of the air and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them who wants to answer that Auntie was trying to talk this auntie was talking first I saw her she was trying to hit me hit me hit me talk to me I was thinking could it be because he wanted to give him work a sense of responsibility he wanted to give who to give Adam work he had work already he was stealing and tending the garden he had work responsibility somebody to something to look after something to to learn how to to nurture for something that can give him an a sense of being well he didn't ex you know for when he when he when he made form the garden and he put him in the garden he told him what he should do in the garden but for this one the Bible says he brought them to see what he would name them so he didn't exactly give him any responsibility with the animals but thank you for that she wants to say something why did he bring the animals brought gorilla I was thinking um it probably brother the animals to see if it was going to call any one of them woman do you think he attempted on any tinko Tino gorilla look like human being I mean the Bible didn't say exactly let's not say what the Bible didn't say right yeah you're close to it very close to it any other answer please the Bible says he brought the animals to see what he would call them I think to me um that was the first pH God was taking through the internship he was going through he brought up D is saying you will do intership you before you go this matter is serious to begin to have someone that's human being like you that will now be part of your life part of the that you be sort of responsible responsible you want to see how responsible you are with those ones the mixture of the different animal was how you to negotiate how you able to manage complexities hey so wait wait wait I don't understand wait wait wait wait wait did you are you getting what did say that God had to use all the animal kingdom to train Adam how to relate with we women sh complex to how to negotiate how to take some decisions how to be resp because I never saw it this way honestly like that means that God is like see the woman I'm bringing she's not one-sided yeah she's multiac like me Hallelujah because the animals are of different type h you understand so need you need to have wisdom there can be a okay no we not seent time are not why so there are some animals that are good some animals that are not good all the animals God created they good any other contribution ah okay please are you learning are you learning people is this making sense okay do we understand context I think uh God wants something good for but his decision he has to decide to see and decide that this is actually good for me the same way with salvation so there's life and death it's still your decision even though God loves you and he want to give you that salvation you see you that will say Okay I want to give my life to Christ so I think he was bringing a different option to see what he would call them and then obviously like like you mentioned that in the beginning I made them both male and female I'm sure he has a flash of that memory from the creation and so God is just saying I've brought lion donkey that can carry something in the F they can actually help they helpers like will he know when he see that person that is the one I think so it's the knowing part and is a personal thing right any other contribution please okay um it's a bit similar to what she has said but we're looking at verse um 18 that said said it is not good that man should be alone I'll make him a helper comparable to him then God started making animals everything but verse 20 then says so Adam gave names to all cattle to the birds and then the last part says but for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him so that means God was like he has created it I've said I will make you a helper right okay let's see what you can do he has named all the C this is what you are none of them did he find comparable and then when God then said okay he has seen cat is not good enough for him let's now do what we are meant to do if I'm sure if Adam had said Catu is the woman God would have said okay no problem but because he then said it maybe gorilla not okay gorilla yes because he then said it but for Adam there was not found a helper so that means he was also searching and he was trying to okay God said he's going to make a helper yes and this is the first thing God can he be this know now God is too good this person doesn't look like me then vers 23 now said okay verse 22 said then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man he made into a woman and brought her the same way he brought the C the C to see what he would name see what he would name this one so if he had called that goat too God would have said no problem let's try again then he said in verse 23 this is now the bone of my bom that mean the on he was doing before was just ah okay can it be no okay this one is it yeah and then in said she will be called a woman and the rest is history any other you still want to say something ah okay so we have two people let me give it to him and him and then we we tie this up and that would lead me to another question and um um I think apart from just naming the animals uh God sees the end from the beginning right uh I like to bring Bible to Modern days there are some things I will not modern days what the purpose of animals we slaughter them the goats the animals we have some aspect yeah we keep some some people especially in this part of the world prefer animals to human being right tell you I don't want to have a child oh yeah sure yeah things like that so to keep company so we can do whatever we're doing with the animals today and uh identity management like the sister said yeah if um you had called go a woman and all that that women would have been like that today but iidentity manag and all that and he saw the end from the beginning know that it was going to be like this we are using the animal for what Adam called them called them till today we are killing there's no party we do today without animal suffering from them so that's that's why I think wow more than thank you thank you thank you for that please she has something to say quickly she's here I just wanted to add uh what the sister said as well because later on um um maybe God was training Adam how because later on he names Eve the mother of all living things so when he was naming the animals he was also being training to make how to name to name her later on when they were cured but then he spoke life to her wow that she's the mother of all living things wow wow brilliant clad for yourself clad for yourself are doing well will be proud of you will be proud of you you all actually said you know uh the same thing in different ways the truth is like the scripture rightly says and it's really clear out there the reason why he brought those animals was to train him so that means most times and we find it with everything in the scripture and everyone God has used at the point where God comes to you that you need this or I want to do this trust me he not at that point he's going to now begin a journey like P would say a walk of Faith with you to now prepare you for that thing so he brought the animal mouth to see what he would name him and I want to take from what uh F said which is the fact that his knowledge of God influenced his naming because the Bible says and whatever Adam named that thing that means that was its name as is that is the original name in the heart and mind of God are you getting me and for the ladies that's to show you how much the extent God will go to to before he hands you over to somebody he needs to be sure the person can name other things so some God you God you are feeling it in your marriage marriage he now brings some sisters around you but they are not your wife they are meant to be treated as a sister as a mentee as what again a friend as someone that you provide support for not a wife your ability to differentiate to identify that identity that ability to say this is and I think that's always the problem and I think I've heard those things I don't know if it still happens today where you have brothers that are just hovering around somebody is this happening Pastor David no you are the pastor of the young people that's why I called Pastor David that's why I called him I not say he's over we all know his qu to please I'm asking him because in our days we had those they will not say anything amen sisters the single sisters here they won't say anything they're just hovering around you and every morning they waking you up with text good morning Beauty who are you you know hope he slept well my love why are you using my love it's not just greets who say it's just greeting it's not just you use endearing words and there's no you're not going anywhere you're not saying it and you know that words are weighty for women and they are seeds the Bible says the gift of a man we will do what ah But ultimately honestly guys I think for me the greatest lesson in that naming thing is Adam's ability to pick the mind of God God was see you had to be trained and when he brought Eve that's why I said it God was not there to tell him because God had trained him with animals God didn't tell him this is he had breathe upon him he had put his Spirit upon him he had given him his identity and his purpose so he knew that if I bring this before you what are you going to name them what are you naming the people God is bringing around you dear single brothers and perhaps married men yeah we should touch on it because married men today now we don't even know in this age and time that they don't even like wearing ring and now be doing G man everywhere complimenting we are not you've not compliment mented your wife at home they complimenting another sister every Sunday wow you look beautiful the wife you left church with you did not tell her she looked beautiful you didn't as much notice that she changed her wig amen married men I'm coming for you I this whole idea that you save everything for one day to show love you all know that that's my only gross against Valentine I don't have a problem I'm not here to discuss whether you are going to H if you go to Valentine or not it's just like an any other day that you can show love I'm not here to say is it a Christian day it's not a Christian day please is I categorized it under what Paul said about eating food giving to Idol I don't give myself stress over things like that but the issue I have is when you now separate one day to not that's not even love most times because love is not expressed once love is not a feeling is who you are if you haven't been showing love from January 1st to February 13th it's now February 14 you want to show all the Love by sending flowers and chocolate like as if who even invented that flower andol chocolate things just credit the account don't waste the money with flour and [Applause] chocolate can I get an amen why why why don't why you sending me FL I can go and buy flour myself okay they say money bouet that stress again I'll go and deposit it in the bank just transfer always go just you know say just just to tell you that you are wonderful let me just be seeing the aler amen they say alert used to make women you know just just aler any fight like this is over it's not it's not love of money it's not love of money we just understand how to use the money do we have questions because of time ah no question you don't have question no it's fine you can send in your questions anonymously but on a more serious note we're talking about love and everything in between I know that there are so many ideologies flying around you know flying around and people you know having difficulty in identifying certain things Drawing the Line understanding where to strike the balance understanding where to you know draw the line understanding at what what what level of Love is expressed within the Christian D you know as a mature single questions that I had a question yes I had a question around the naming yes where Adam was the one that saw Eve and said this is not the bone of my bone so there's that contemplation around can a lady ask a guy out is that still up for debate it's still up for debate why do you think so why do you think is wrong is it ons scriptural for a sister to express her love or her feelings to who am I to say was a scripture no I I was just thinking because obviously what you've said about him saying this is the B of my burone and the Flesh of My Flesh I strongly believe that she is the bone of his bone and not vice versa and then also I think it was in verse 24 it says therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife so I should be have you read it in Psalm Psalm Psalm 45 where the Bible says talks about the queen and the that she would leave her father and her family and be Joy is there in Psalm I will find that Psalm Psalm 45 so what exactly did root do to boas what his Bible we are looking at right yeah in Genesis the man is the one that said boy in Ruth what did she do by uncovering boas's cloths Mrs Kenny wants to say something please give her microphone say she obeyed okay she obeyed she was all following instruction AB yeah P sorry yes ma'am I think it's a different scenario she did not ask Boaz out as a woman she didn't ask him out eventually she presented herself dressed up went out did all the good things and the man saw and said I like what I'm seeing and she didn't ask him out verbally ma women do it when you dress up and make up and look fine you pass it he eventually is's a good man because he eventually did the needful I need a brother to answer this question she didn't do practical chemistry why okay she didn't do science she's not a science student I need a brother to answer that no the mus let's track this let's let's let's Tate is it is okay this is the question is it like forbidding is it wrong for a sister to express how she feels is it like an a a taboo would she have sinned by doing so talk talk to me church I want Nico to answer that please give it to Apostle niik yeah he had something I perceive it in my heart that he has something to say on this on this conversation please give him give him the mic praise God hallelujah okay um can we switch off this he um number one it's not forbidden okay it's not um there's a part of the Bible that okay now we all know the part that says Okay um it's the man that finds he that finds now that's what I'm talking about now is a part that also it's God that gives a prudent woman to a man now the only role of a woman one major role of a woman is to position herself now in positioning yourself I'm not saying you should just be in one place positioning yourself can be approaching and speaking to someone we not saying you're going to ask him out now this is what I will just put I'll use this scripture to explain myself okay now some women are anxious to do such things now when the Bible says that be anxious for nothing but by prayer and supplication make your what request known and what the peace of God what what it says it's going to guard your heart okay now it's that same piece when you speak to someone when you walk up to a man and you say okay you express yourself oh how are you and all of that there's no big deal in speaking to the person but you are not going there to say okay um um will you be will you date me no you can actually tell the person okay you look good I actually like your personality I like all of that but not necessarily saying okay I would like to go out with you that's not your Ro no it's not I would like to go out I I want to marry you um so now this is what I'm going to say this is what I'm going to say you know we say a lot of things I was listening to I was listening to um a when you were when I came in a bit late and I was to a part where um people think um God cannot reveal someone to you he can reveal it to you yeah he can now God is not he's not going to do it in a stereotype of where okay it must always be um you just hear something no it can actually re it can show yeah a man to you and a woman also can actually approach a person a guy if God is leading you to say okay you should do that there's nothing wrong if God has actually shown it to you but another thing is this it's not an of confusion he will speak to the man he will speak to the man also that is what I believe and I don't want to go too far but most importantly what is essential which which I will never forget over a decade ago director Mor she said the most important thing you need to do when it comes to relationship or marriag is have peace and if when that peace enters into your heart it will guard you it to tell you what to do it can tell you okay speak to that guy it can tell you oh take him out there's no big deal in taking someone out there's no big deal in taking a man out so that's I'll just stop there thank you thank you apost niik there's a question I'm coming okay you know amen we we we need to have answer this question today or else we are not going the honest truth is just like Apostle Niko said um there's no there's no scriptural rule around it if anything at was most times cultural bias which is okay and acceptable but like he also said in approaching a guy there's nothing wrong particularly if there has been some sort of a witness in your heart because sometimes the lady picks it sometimes the guy has picked it but he's not bold enough to ask said then I don't want to no but on a more serious note imagine they didn't go look for wife for Isaac no it doesn't mean that means there are people and I'm sure that some couples might not talk now but there are some people that that was how the the guy they know the guy they have the peace like Nico said in their heart but the guy is not just talking but they know the guy wants to talk but it's not talking now your talking is not I want to marry you of course not but like he said and like most people have said positioning yourself and at times you would need to be upfront so that you don't go dancing around someone's feelings and emotions that's what I mean what's the point of the song that comes to mind now it's not a Christian song Let me just leave it in my heart like that what I was thinking what's the point of allowing something to kill you Softly on your own and you are not addressing the matter and you are assuming that one day he will speak one day turns to one month to one year to 3 years and he has not said anything no but we know that there are women like that so what what do you expect you approach the situation and say uncle what are we doing you define it is important for to safeguard your own heart so that you are not asuming and sometimes God you feel God has spoken to you but the person doesn't feel convinced have you not heard it I'm in love with someone that is not in love with me and then we have heart aches up and down some some just said it now that you know their story I'm sure they'll share it one day that I just describe their story they know themselves to match to match couple no but on a more serious note as a lady ethically culturally of course you we don't expect you to go to meet a guy and be asking the guy please will you marry me or you on bended news with ring we've seen it on social media I don't subscribe to that it's not like he a scene the person has not sinned by doing it so I'm not making a law I'm just saying it's not ethically right it's not cultur culturally right and I think the proper thing you can do is once you sense that someone is dancing around you you two you have the feeling it's not like you don't have the feeling it's just appropriate at that level as a lady to Define it so as to safeguard your heart so that you don't prolong assumption and then he brings wedding Ivy no it's true it happens and then he after he's using all the endearing words but he has not see if someone has not verbalize anything assumption is the lowest form of thinking never assume oh he sends you gift he's always checking on you how are you doing why is it that only question Dr will answer this one only question men used to ask have you eaten why Brothers an hungry man is a angry man let me be sure this woman is not angry i e no seriously even in marriage have you eaten what what did you eat Uncle let's leave have you eaten well that was just you know a side joke but on a more serious note I think and for the guys that are here listening to me are probably listening to me online I think it's appropriate to be clear on your intentions if you have any and if you don't don't don't create assumptions don't create assumptions whereby everybody is saying are you look cute together and you know there's nothing and you are collecting the compliments are cute cute together and he not going anywhere I think it's irresponsible of such people and immaturity and I think the ladies the young ladies that are here don't get stringed along such especially when your emotions are involved love is not a feeling the love that sustains marriage is not the butterfly in your stomach butterfly will die no on a most serious note if there's anything I want to leave up what we answer the questions Love Is Not What a Feeling yes you feelings are are are are expected in love in marriage in a loving relationship but that's not what love is because there are times when you will not feel love but you will have love is like the difference between happiness and joy happiness is feeling based and it's based on something that has happened around you that is good but joy comes from the Wellspring of the Holy Ghost is not feeling dependent and trust me the love that you need to sustain marriage it's not the goosebumbs around you and feeling oh wow wow wow because there will be times that that love not that there will be times that that love will be tested every marriage goes through it every everything created by God will go through it it will be tested definitely 100% of the time oh I love you I love you we are the best we are awesome together we look cute together beautiful couple you're the bone of my bone and then you go on in marriage and 5 years down the line no children what happens we've not even come to the issue of in-laws and that's why maturity is important on both sides because most of the problems we have that people are treating on social media is immaturity immaturity on the side of the husband immaturity on the side of the wife you find two babies going to the altar to join themselves and then when the issues of Life shows up they caving a lot of people marriages starts going apart from the day they give birth and Mama comes to visit and then you now begin to see the holes in their marriages where mama is a major shareholder in your marriage so those are things that needs to be dealt that's not what we're doing here now that's why you need a marriage counselor before you marry six months ahead one year ahead do marriage counseling with a marriage counselor once you know that you're heading in that direction can I have the first question please uh first question is I have faith in God but I don't have faith in love does this question my faith in God and also how do I deal with it wow I have faith in God I have faith in God but I don't have faith in love does this question my fa fa in God and also how do I deal with it yes it does question your faith in God because like I started this conversation God is love and and if you truly do have faith in God you should have faith in love I think that question is deeper than that has that person been H served breakfast a number of times and I think another question we need to ask ourself is what what's what's giving us the labels in terms of love what's defining love for us the the experiences around us the the kuun that we are watching what Korean movie giving us False Image and false idea I'm not saying it's wrong to watch it I used to watch it too so please it's just it's just it's just sweet to watch but that's not reality I hope you know it's not reality mov is not reality I don't know maybe that person can see me but truly you can't have faith in God and not have faith in love because love Faith and love works together and maybe the love you're talking about is not the agape love that stems from God you're talking about the romantic love which actually gets his origin from God himself so there's no romantic love outside of God there's no there's no better person to instruct you and teach you romance beyond the Holy Ghost no seriously the Bible says he will instruct you in all things that all thing is all encompassing married people here will tell you especially the women when you want to say something and the only tell you not now not now d d my soul my soul don't say it now don't say it now just just be calm can I get an amen from the married women you are boiling you want to say it and the Holy Spirit is telling you not now be coming down and then he now tells you when to say it and you find out that the conversation goes smooth and you gain your husband yeah yes he would instruct you he will teach you he will give you love tips romantic tips some people used to think that when you're having sex god used to close his eyes because is too his eyes is too holy to be old it's not iniquity we are not babies here sex is not iniquity in fact if I tell you the topic of today's message that I give de is the only ho Pastor here did I tell you the topic I wanted us to talk about today was like more it's like our people are not ready for conversation like that they we'll be ready we're going to do let's talk about sex because the things you don't talk about here you talk about it elsewhere you talk about it on social media you talk about it amongst your friends and it's better we talk about it so that we do but it's not for today there are some teenagers here amen they will have their own conversation with their teen teenage coach in the way that they can understand it on on Saturday they will be able to break it down no but seriously for that person you cannot say you have faith in God and not have faith in love and if you need further clarification please you can see me next question okay uh what do you do when a a woman is emotionally avoidant or unavailable when a woman is what emotionally avoid emotionally unavailable emotionally avoidant or unavailable either unable you know one thing I've come to realize I think men and I think the brothers in the house should help me maybe Dr de has left to help me I find that you know this difference between male and female sometimes men find it really difficult to interpret certain gestures am I correct am I right they not answering me because sometimes that unemotionally available can be interpreted as Shakara do you understand what I mean like she's just doing shakar but in all honestly the lady is not interested so I think if a lady is not interested in you I honestly think respect yourself and move on like honestly does anybody have any other answer to that no if a lady isn't emotionally connecting with you then I think he's just important once either it has been verbalized So when you say is unemotionally available is either they in a relationship or they are not in a relationship they are married if they are married then they need counseling because before a lady becomes unavailable emotionally is not a oneoff thing it's a buildup of so many other things that were probably not addressed and swept under the carpet if it's marriage even relationship wise if they already in a relationship but if it's you are still trying to woo her and she's not giving you signal please face front Okay um so this one says what is the best way for me as a family member to suggest marriage counseling to an older couple after infidelity wow inid well one thing I know is that there's absolutely nothing that is irredeemable it doesn't matter what the sin is I think the major thing is if both parties are willing oh I know stories of people who have been in those shoes but because both were willing and they submitted themselves to counseling and to um building trust again they are both now Advocates and using their story to encourage other people but if that person is a third party it depends on the level of relationship and if it is something that is known to both the husband and the wife I think it's advice I think it's okay to advise you can suggest you can so because I think another problem also is that we try to eliminate the whole counseling part because we sometimes feel we got this we sometimes feel we're spiritual enough we can handle this but trust me sometimes you actually need to get out of that mindset and permit me I'm not being gender bias here but sometimes it's the men who really don't want that counseling and it's it's ego is ego sometimes and like why why will I going and be discussing my matter and you now going to bring a a lady counselor why I go and be discussing my matter but truly the Bible says in the multitude of counselors there's much safety and sometimes what you require in salvaging what is left of your marriage is to have conversations with professionals and they can sit and advice ASE especially a matter as huge as infidelity it should not be swept under the carpet wherever that person is but because you are not the person involved you are a third party the best you can do is advice you can't you can't enforce it and you can't go and report them on their behalf no you can't do that you can prayerfully suggest to the person and I I'm careful to use the word prayerfully because truly to really heal is to expose the wound it's not by covering it up he exposing it is there any more questions are there any okay why do women always think they are right in a marriage please come and give Dr de I've answered enough question today we have directors in the house please give Dr D let him answer let me hear his answer why do we think women Dr Deo will answer then I will get a lady to answer that question is a very okay Dr de why do women think that they are always right interesting um I think I'm going to answer this from a perspective of being a man and that is understanding the framing of a woman you know so even if they are wrong and they feel that they are right well they are right at that [Laughter] moment like for pistol rain no but but that is the truth it's not it's not just for peace to rain I mean it's for that moment they are right and I just think that men need to understand the factor of of love what what the scriptures say about the assignment that God gave to men um I think I'm trying to remember I think is Ephesians 6 where he talked about the of men for a man it says love right and for a woman it say respect and you know we started this whole conversation from what is love the emotional beat and all that but again we have we've understood that love goes beyond emotion and as a matter of fact the act of understanding that a woman is actually right when he feels that he right is a way of loving if you understand what I mean so and it doesn't mean that you are weak it just means that over time you might really get to know who is right or wrong but you just have to I don't think you see thinking about why is a woman thinking that they always right you are missing the point already as a man are are you getting what I'm saying now well I also think that it's a general statement being made and then it's thank you because I feel like the person is using the wife as a yard stick for all women because in some homes you find out that the wife will tell you why do men always think that they are right exactly that why why is why do the man feel like my word is final and that they are right so I think it's just a is a is a is a bias and um it's a personal issue within that family system that probably needs to be addressed and it could also be a personality issue in terms of the wife you know being that kind of person of which we have agreed was it during Workforce we said it that there are no there's no greater personality than the Holy Spirit controlled personality so all personalities should actually come under the Holy Spirit whether s GRE what is it again choleric fmatic and all of that that's the scientific way of explaining our personalities but we cannot be limited by those personalities the same we cannot be limited by where we are from so we bring it under the ministry of the holy spirit so to say that why do women always think I think he a he like saying why why do why do all men cheat do all men Che so I don't think it's it's it's a holistic way of looking at it to assume that all women are all it's it's an isolated case that needs being addressed in an isolated manner that that is my opinion I don't agree that women always think that they are right no um and I think it's a is a function of that marriage the husband and the wife and possibly would require some measure of counseling you know and all of that and and let me say this to the married couple that you haven't done wrong if you I know that when you are getting married you'll say oh settle your matter don't bring a third party don't do this don't do that yes but I think at some point when you actually feel like this is getting out of hand and the reason why you find people 10 years 15 years down the line and they are divorcing and then you're asking yourself what were they doing in 15 years the problem was building up they were either sweeping it under the carpet they were either not addressing it when it was meant to be addressed and so when they get to a threshold where they can't bear it anymore they say everybody go your separate ways 10 years have gone 15 years have gone so it's important that matters that need to be dealt with be dealt with the important thing here is who you go to seek counsel from so the problem you have in some young marriages and I'm saying this based on experiences of people that have had to councel you will talk to every other person aside from the right person to talk to you report him to your friend you report him to your friend's friend you report him to your mother and you know your mother will be sentimental towards you you report him to his friend and all the people you are reporting him to they don't have the capacity to weigh in on the matter they're just going to be giving you emotional counsel and advice e you mean he giving you 100K every month ahh no do you know B's husband give her 250k what's that when the real issue is not in the 100K or the 250k is communication issue amen doctor yeah that statement is biased I I feel that men should always give that allowance that allowance for women always just just always give it because that is the point of the loving bit honestly you need to you need to have that deposit in your whether emotional bank account or love bank account or wherever it is so that you'll be able to accommodate a whole lot of I agree with you that the greater responsibility lies on the man when it comes to marriage that's just the honest truth the greater responsibility and when I say responsibility I'm not talking in terms of Finance I'm talking about holistically when the Bible says if a man cannot provide for his household he's worse than an Infidel that provid there is not limited to money he's talking about providing a wholesome marriage a wholesome environment provide emotional support physical support all manner of support financial support so don't limit that provide to money is important and that's why we really need you know God and he's raising them in this house men who are mature who've grown you know out of certain things certain cultural traditional mindset and idea ideology they've submitted themselves under Christ understanding that they are spouses are their Partners they're not in competition with them you know there's the conversation around your wife is any more than you how do you handle it I know we can't even deal all with all of that here today but these are conversations that happen and they cause issues and Rifts in marriages amen yes ma'am do we have more questions no I just wanted to say something I want to say okay I have to go home no I just wanted to say something about that aspect of Rights sometimes um it could also be from the perspective that the man is looking at it from women naturally I just hope I'm trying not to be biased here women naturally have a sense of intuition that's to me how God has framed them over time intu that Eve did not use in the garden so sometimes you can have conversations I was only kidding sometimes you can have conversation it happens to me and my husband sometimes you have conversations and sometimes it look like I'm right right in a sense that I might have picked it if you look read the story of the Proverbs 31 Woman there are so many things that frames a woman up sometimes the way the men reason is different from the way the women reason women can be we can be more I'm trying to be biased now you been biased already so so so when you say um rights I maybe depends also that's why like people said maybe you need to have that more conversation with her it depends on the context where you coming from with that word women think they are right because there are sometimes that the men may not want to give it to them but in some circumstances they might be right so you need to understand and give that and if I'm to balance what she said even when you as a woman in marriage believe with all your heart that you are right trust me even in my marriage we have had such conversation people would say I told you sir you did not tell me I sir I know that you did not tell me married people can confirm people will say something I'll be like I said but I thought that sir I know I know that you not tell me but the the thing here is it's not in my arguing and insisting that no you did not tell me when did you tell me date and time what was I wearing what were you wearing sometimes submission is it's okay it's fine okay yes you told me it's okay he told you so there's that I'm just saying that because sometimes we women too can be headr strong and we want to have the last say because we know it in our heart that and truly you know that you are right sometimes from the man's perspective he can be ego sometimes he's not ego sometimes it's just genuinely saying that this is what I feel it's not your insisting and being very commanding that will have make you have your way there's a way you behave with wisdom in marriage and you still have your way I love someone say said the man is the head I'm the neck that turns the head amen I'm not fighting head sheep with you I don't want to be the head it's too much responsibility but I can be the neck and I'll position myself so much that I will turn you right turn you left you would have turn finished before you even know that I'm the one turning you it's called wisdom the Bible talks about the Proverbs 31 Woman the heart of her husband safely trust in her safely and you see vice versa as well so practically dear women it's not everything that we enforce our rights it's not in every conversation we must have the last say sometimes let me let me go a bit practical even if as a married woman you sense and and um a funny what's that word now sort of I won't call it relationship but maybe a young single sister how do I put it now hovering around but you are totally clueless as the husband you know such things happen said it happens sometimes totally clueless he's just being a nice brother in all honesty before man and God but you as a woman you pick it in the conversation for example she calls to I'm just using example maybe the sister is in media media I'm just using example he start calling calling um director Steven example me example director Steven and then sister Tomy is passing ah who is that is a let me look for somebody that is not in media give me name of someone that is not shade there's no Shia okay sh and then bra is say oh sh told me wants to say I no just greet her for me why are you not greeting sister Tomy red flag one or sisters that feel like is only the men that can Cel you wa that what happened and then he's saying oh you know my wife you can talk to my no no you know some matters of the heart what matters of the heart I'm Freer with you that my wife is what so maybe such little little things you notice it you picked it and just use that practically as an example and then you're trying to communicate sit with him but fortunately your husband doesn't see it and he genuinely doesn't see ah no a sh is just a sh is just it's not by your insisting or carrying face or even going to meet the sh and say leave my husband alone sometimes there are things some battles you win on your knees have you not read it is it not in Ephesians or where or James that talks about the woman that without a word wins the husband without not a word it's called wisdom meekness Sarah had it he said we should learn it from her so please women as well Ladies as well we have to learn also how to apply wisdom even in driving home our point but not necessarily insisting and you know being so forceful it's not it's not um it's not it's not nice it's not it's not nice at all I hope that's the last question um there's a couple but we'll take this last one no no we take this last one we'll continue tomorrow join me on Instagram tomorrow doctor what time is it um it's already time no no that's not the time I'm asking for Uncle yeah so I'm going live on Instagram myself and Pastor David we're going live tomorrow 5:00 p.m. on Instagram on my Instagram account and we would answer all the many questions they promise would answer it so you can send in tune in and send in more questions the holy spirit will help us tomorrow David we're answering it together okay so this one says uh um when I was in the world okay men were attracted to me but since I gave my life to Christ it's like I'm they've disappeared it's like I'm invisible to men it seems harder as a Christian woman no it's not harder it's the LIE the devil is trying to sell to you it's not harder your choices are just streamlined it's not harder no you can never choose the world over and above being in Christ when they were attracted to you what what did you have to offer now you've got something much more deeper to offer the right person would come the right person would come and I'm sure we understand that we are not so so it's not like you know um because you in the world you know uh the the men were more attracted to you now you're in the Kingdom there are no brothers that will be attracted to you that's not true I think God is even probably saving you heartache and saving you finding yourself in situations you are not even ready for and I think most importantly at this time just like we've read learned in Genesis Genesis chapter 2 the Bible says it was God that brought evil to Adam so after God made he formed her he brought her so this is your forming season wherever that person is and let God form let him cook you when the time is right you will bring the person you bring you to the person and you would find who that person is but do not let the devil sell that idea to you that you were better off in the world than being in Christ no there's no gain there but here in Christ you've got it all trust me it doesn't matter matter what propaganda is being spread out there that there are no good Brothers there are no committed Brothers there are no serious Brothers is a lie if we say they are no serious brothers or committed Brothers then we're saying God is a liar that means that God doesn't have witnesses but that's a lie we know God would always have a Remnant and would always have people that he has you know prepared for you so rather than say that wake up every morning if you are of marriageable age how person I ask question is not like 19 no not like at 19 you can't have a relationship that's not what I'm saying how old was I when don't let me say my age let's leave it but you I'm not saying if you're 19 you can't have a relationship all I'm saying is that at at this stage of your life what you need to do wake up in the morning look at yourself in the mirror and speak God's word to you say yes I'm blessed of God whatever it is that is the bone of my bone will find me will locate me at the right time have those conversations with yourself every morning have those conversations with yourself when you pray whatever God has made me for will locate me at the right time I am in Christ and because I'm in Christ I've got everything good and everything blessed Bible says I've been blessed with all spiritual blessings in Heavenly places I am not disadvantaged because I'm in Christ I am advantaged say that to yourself because what the devil is trying to sell to you is that your life was better off in the world than it is in Christ and that's a big fat lie is a big fat lie because the best things are always in Christ they're not outside of Christ they're not so it's your confession that will now tailor your mindset to ensure that you are positioned to receive what is yours in Christ amen have we been blessed are you sure amen let's give to the Lord thank you for listening to this sermon from envo Nation we hope that you are blessed by the message stay connected with us on all social media platforms by following at the envoy nation and visit our website at www.the Envoy nation.org for more information resources and updates may you continue to walk in faith and be richly blessed until next time take care and God bless