Transcript for:
Elder Holland's Lecture on Trials, Faith, and Forgiveness

Thank you, Sister Holland. Te amo. In General Conference of October 2016, I told  the story of my friends Troy and Deedra Russell   of the Dutchman Pass Ward in Henderson,  Nevada. No one will remember the talk,   but it dealt with their experience  when Troy pulled his pickup truck   out of the garage on his way to donate  goods to the local Desert Industries.   As he did so, he felt his back tire roll over a  bump. Thinking some item had fallen off the truck,   he got out only to find his precious nine-year-old  son Austin lying face down on the pavement.   The screams, the priesthood blessing,  the paramedic crew, the hospital staff,   all in due course were engaged in trying  to save this beautiful boy's life,   but to no avail. Austin was gone. Over  time, Troy and Deedra found peace in their   faith, in the Lord Jesus Christ, in the  comforting presence of the Holy Ghost,   and in the scores of loving friends  and neighbors who helped them,   especially their then home teacher John Manning.  My purpose today is not to repeat that message,   but it is to tell you in your university years  that some of life's lessons will be difficult,   and you may be asked to face more than you think  you can, and certainly more than you want.In   Brother and Sister Russell's case, one might  think that losing a child in the nightmarish   way that they lost Austin would be enough of  a parental test for any young couple to face,   but there is language in the very heart of one  of the greatest of the Book of Mormon sermons   that implies trials and tests may come to  us often in life. In his farewell address,   King Benjamin taught that a fundamental purpose  of mortal life, perhaps the fundamental purpose of   mortal life, is to "become a saint through the  Atonement of Christ the Lord" which will require   as he goes on to say to become, "as a child,  submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love,   willing to submit to all things which  the Lord seeth to inflict upon him, even   as a child doth submit to his father." Well what  does that mean for us? It means, in part at least,   that struggle and strife, heartbreak and loss,  are not experiences that come only somewhere   else to someone else. It means that moments when  faith feels frightfully difficult to hold on to   are not reserved for bygone days  of our persecution and martyrdom.   No, times when becoming a saint through christ  the lord seem almost almost too much to achieve   are still with us. And so it will  be until God has proven his people   for their eternal reward, we will be  asked to submit, to obey, to be childlike   and for some of us that is difficult  now and it will be difficult then.   My plea today in this university  that I love with all my heart   is that we practice now and be strong now  for those times of affliction and refinement   that surely will come. For some of  us, they come now in university years.   That's when faith in God, faith in Christ, faith  in the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints   will really count. That's when faith must  be unwavering because it will be examined   in the refiner's fire to see if it is more  than "sounding brass or tinkling symbol."   For some, the severity of the test may seem like  a marathon length final exam in mortal life 101.   It is then, sailing in what  Hamlet called "a sea of troubles,"   that it may take all the faith you have  just to keep your little craft afloat. But you can sail on, King Benjamin said, if you'll  be childlike, "submissive, meek, humble, full of   love." I think the only commentary needed for this  verse might be regarding that line suggesting that   God inflicts trials and burdens upon us. Now we  don't know Reformed Egyptian, but in English,   the word inflict which comes from the latin  "infligere" has at least two meanings:   one is "to strike or dash against or beat down,"  but that's not applicable to God or his angels.   No, the proper definition of the word as King  Benjamin uses it is, "to allow something that   must be born or suffered." Now allowing  something is a very different matter.   God can and will do that if it is ultimately  for our good. I'm going to say it again--God   does not now nor will he ever do to you a  destructive malicious unfair thing ever.   It is not in what Peter calls the  "divine nature" to even be able to do so.   By definition and in fact, God is perfectly  and thoroughly always and forever good,   and everything he does is for our good. I  promise you that God does not lie awake nights   trying to figure out ways to disappoint us,  or harm us, or crush our dreams or our faith. Now with that long introduction, let's return  to Troy and Deedra Russell just four months ago. Early in the morning hours of September  eighth, having spent much of the night   getting her second son ready for his  beginnings of university at BYU-Idaho,   Deedra Russell was traveling northbound on  Interstate 15. Near mile marker number 14,   where the highway is tightly cut into the  sides of the Virgin River Gorge, Deedra saw   a pickup truck traveling at freeway speed.  Unfortunately, it was traveling right at her   coming south in her northbound lane. At the  wheel was an inebriated male driver aged 39. This is a photo taken by emergency personnel  at about 5:30 in the morning, so forgive the   dark lighting. It's what was left of Deedra's  charcoal-colored Honda after a head-on collision. In spite of what that wreckage would seem  to indicate, Sister Russell, though pinned,   immovable inside the car, was not killed in  the accident. With remarkable assistance from   emergency personnel, she was extricated from  the wreckage and life-flighted to the St. George   Regional Medical Center where, after 132 days of  hospitalization as of this morning, some 40 of   them in intensive care, she is still waging the  fight for her life. Fortunately, she is alive. Here is the best she could do to say goodbye  to her oldest son Colin who left two months   after the accident to serve in the Canada  Edmonton Mission, Tagalog speaking.   Her dreams of helping him get ready and seeing  him off to serve were left somewhere near mile   marker number 14 on Interstate 15. I need to move  past the details of Deedra's medical condition,   but as I do let me say that  her lacerations, fractures,   and surgical needs almost defied description. She  has been in the operating room for 18 surgeries   with more to come. Her kidneys have been  damaged, and at least two of her external wounds   have to remain open with wound VAC assistance  until they can be closed. Indescribable pain,   interrelated injuries, recurring nightmares, and  most recently a sequence of paralytic seizures   have been her lot day and night, but every  indication is that she's going to make it,   for which we are all very grateful. Here's a photo  of Deedra with Troy on the right and Area Seventy,   John Smith, on the left, to whom I'm  indebted for many of these photos. Now let me share a few gospel related  thoughts that I've had as I've   heard these reports from my friends. First of  all, public condemnation of the driver--who   miraculously survived this incident, and  is with his parents and some of the Russell   family in the audience today as our special  guests--that's not the purpose of this message.   Our purpose is to learn. That's why we  come to a university and one thing this   brother and his family have taught us is when  we've made a mistake, serious or otherwise,   we should feel genuine remorse and sorrow and  we should take responsibility for damage done   and suffering caused. In the process we should  demand of ourselves a change in the habits   and behaviors that brought on those harmful  events, but even when we've done what we can   it often won't amount to much.  And so we'll have to ask god   to carry all the parts that we can't repair or  repay. To deserve such help we surely ought to   seek to live a life that would warrant it, always  remembering that heaven's grace exceeds our merit.   I'm touched that this good brother who caused  this accident is trying to do everything he   knows how to do and has done just what i have  said in all ways that he knows. For example,   I was touched to learn that in addition to writing  to praying for and visiting Deedra and Troy,   he and his extended family spent not  a penny on Christmas gifts this year   in order to give that sizable cash equivalent to  the Russells to help defray some of the horrendous   financial costs that will most assuredly  bankrupt them before this is all over.   An equally poignant example of true remorse  is this handwritten eight-page letter,   a copy of which I hold in my hand.   It's too long to read here in its entirety,  but I give you just a sample of a line or two.   "Deedra, I feel so horrible about what I have  done to you. My heart is broken, my lungs can't   breathe, I'm so sorry for the pain you were  in. Troy, you were an angel to forgive me.   I am so sorry you had to go through so  much in your lives already, and now this   and all because of me. But I'm going to church  again, and I'm reading my scriptures every night,   and please tell the kids I'm  so sorry I hurt their mother.   Deedra, I know I nearly took your life,  but if it matters you've saved mine. Sincerely..." Behind what we want to be, a truly hopeful and constructive ending to this  story is the constant reminder the drum beat in   my brain, rain or shine, night or  day, spring, summer, winter, and fall   that there is a loving reason to obey  gospel laws and a worthy reason to follow   gospel principles. The keeping of  God's commandments really is important   and the revealed do's and  don'ts are for a purpose. Without needing another photo of that Honda to  prompt us, we all ought to recognize the wisdom   of a loving God who, decades before cars, and  freeways, and life flights were ever imagined,   revealed the destructive possibilities in  this case of alcohol consumption. Without   listing again the cost borne by the victim and  the perpetrator of this accident, we ought to   acknowledge the tears of a Heavenly Father who  simply asked us to take care of one another   to be careful rather than reckless with the  well-being of our sisters and our brothers.   Childlike obedience to his parental calls and his  divine warnings will spare us and others agony in   the end. Thus the cry of his Only Begotten  Son, "If you love me keep, my commandments."   It is part of the apostolic burden for me and my  colleagues and associates in the twelve to stand   with the Savior in that plea. In that request we  always extend our love-- always. We are morally   obligated after that love to ask for obedience to  the commandments as evidence of that affection.   Now please, please as I have  tried to speak for a moment of   childlike Christ-like saintly submission  to the trials and tribulations of life   and to divine commandments. However  tried and tested you may already feel,   please do not walk out of here today eager to  tell your absentee roommate that Elder Holland   gave a devotional today on the word of wisdom.  If you want to see an old man cry, do that. I pray you will find my message larger and more  significant than the sorrow of drunk driving. After understanding the reason for commandments  and the need to seek forgiveness when we break   them, I offer a second lesson. It's  the other side of the forgiveness coin:   just as the transgressors seeks forgiveness  as part of the quest for relief and peace,   we need to forgive at least in part  for the relief and peace it brings us.   As angry as Troy and Deedra might justifiably  have been over this terrible experience,   they have felt that they could not and should not  withhold forgiveness for him who gave offense.   At least part of that motivation was because  Troy has spent these last five years of his life   struggling with his role, accidental as it  was, in the loss of nine-year-old Austin.   To carry that into this setting, this morning  there's not one of us anywhere on this campus   who has not needed forgiveness for  some mistake made somewhere, sometime.   Our deed may not have been as severe  as the kind we're recounting today,   but we've all made mistakes and some of them were  serious mistakes. I include myself in that list.   Whatever the event, we all thank God  for being the Father of Forgiveness   and for the gifts of mercy and relief that he offers us. All of it ultimately coming to   us through the majestic Atonement of his  Only Begotten Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. We are to join in and participate in that  offering the Russells have done, that   they've looked up to their  God and even in their anguish   have humbly but resolutely joined the Savior  in extending forgiveness to one in need.   They have been "submissive, meek, humble, patient  and full of love." Without embarrassing them,   surely they are "becoming saints through  the atonement of Christ the Lord." Now a third lesson from this incident. I've  never heard them say it, but like all of us   in moments of suffering and pain, the Russells may  have sometimes shouted "Why me? Why us? Why again?   Or how much do we have to face in life?  Or does God really care about me at all?" If they've asked those questions, they would  be in good company. The Psalmist asked,   "How long wilt thou forget me O Lord," and the  prophet Joseph asked, "O god where art thou?" Even the savior himself, in the excruciating ordeal of Atonement  wondered if he too had been forsaken. But the divine answer to every  one of these faithful souls   to questions uttered in the darkness of  despair, the answer is always and ever the same:   "Be still and know that I  am God." He has not left us,   we are not cast off, his promises are  sure, sanctified love is constant,   "The Lord of Hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge." So when you're being hammered  on the anvil of adversity,   when your soul is being  refined with severe lessons that perhaps cannot be learned any  other way, don't cut and run. Don't   jump ship. Don't shake your fist at your  bishop, or your mission president, or God.   Please stay with the only help and strength  that can aid you in that painful time   when you stumble in the race of life. Don't crawl  away from the very physician who is unfailingly   there to treat your injuries, lift you to  your feet, and help you finish the course. We don't know why all of the things  that happen to us in life happen,   when sometimes we're spared a  tragedy and sometimes we're not. But that is where faith must truly mean  something or it's not faith at all. In such severe circumstances, rare as we hope  they are, we can fall back on Alma's reminder   that faith and knowledge are  related, but they are not synonymous. In some matters you can have knowledge,  pure knowledge, perfect knowledge,   but in some things, faith will  have to do until knowledge comes.   And the sweet Sister Holland always tells  the missionaries faith isn't really faith   if you have anything else to hang on to. What we need, all of us together, you and I, from those solidly in the church as  well as those struggling to hold on: what we need in every case is still the same   powerful faith faith that sustains us here  and now, not just on the day of judgment or   somewhere in celestial glory. Most of us  have faith in the ultimate, long-term,   big issues like the truthfulness of the church  or the reality of Christ's Atonement and   resurrection, but sometimes we're less secure in  pulling that faith down to today, to this morning. To help with the challenges in the near term like  Austin's death, or Deedra's automobile accident,   or your financial troubles, or disappointment  in dating, or asking for a much-needed blessing   regarding marriage, or health or  some other personal need--prayers   which seem to go unanswered  and unanswered and unanswered. In these matters we need faith, we need it  then as well as having faith in ultimate things like the truthfulness of this church, the  reality of Christ's Atonement and resurrection. With this latter call for submissive and childlike  faith in the near term, with it coming virtually   every day of our lives, my young friends, I  welcome you to the life King Benjamin described,   and that Jesus perfectly exemplified. Welcome to concepts like  patience and long-suffering:   words and principles that take on  meaning you never knew they had. Welcome to not knowing, but still believing. Welcome to trusting in your Father in Heaven and  believing that all his promises near term or long   will all yet be kept in full, every word. But be aware that along this  journey is some degree of anguish. That's because the road from faith   to pure knowledge, from mortal trials to celestial  rewards, always somehow winds through Gethsemane. And when we're invited to join the  Savior of the World in that place,   we should be prepared to  answer the demanding question   he put to Peter, James, and John,  "Could ye not watch with me one hour?" Figuratively speaking, our entire cycle of searching and waiting of repentance and  forgiveness, important as they are, add up to much   less than an hour compared to his blood producing  purge of all the sorrows and all the sins   and all the mistakes of all humankind  from Adam and Eve to the end of the world. Please, you absolutely beautiful  young colleagues in this work, when your life seems to be one tear, and  tragedy, and heartache after another,   the meaning of which and the answers  to which you cannot understand,   I ask you as Paul did to hope for things which are  not seen but which are true. As sure as you live,   all of the blessings of Abraham, Isaac,  and Jacob, of Sarah, Rebecca, and Rachel   are waiting for you, short  term, long term, and forever. Well tragedies and submission, heartache  and belief, repentance and rainbows,   love and head-on collisions,  these are big boy and girl issues. Even seemingly contradictory issues at times,   but I promise you in the name of the Lord that  help will come and resolve those contradictions   through the cohesive power of the  Gospel of Jesus Christ. What President   John Taylor called once the "cementing and  harmonizing influences of eternal truth." So the Troy and Deedra Russell submit  like the young saints that they are   and they watch the miracle of love and  faith ripple out in ever widening circles   to touch literally hundreds of people,  literally hundreds of people. For example,   the groups upon groups that have done the  Russell's laundry, who brought in meals every day,   who've taken their children to school,  stayed by Deedra's bedside every day   and night she's been in the St. George Hospital,  remembering that they live in Henderson, Nevada.   Love and faith have helped Troy drive those miles  and stay with his bride fully one half of those   132 days and nights. His colleagues have doubled  up at work to free him to give such attention.   Meanwhile, two of his patients have begun reading  the Book of Mormon a close friend who over the   years has refused invitations to five different  baptisms and a baby blessing, vowing he would   never set foot in a Latter-day Saint chapel,  came to the sacrament meeting in which Collin   spoke, prior to leaving on his mission. This  friend thought that was the least he could do   for an absent mother lying in an intensive  care unit miles away. And so miracles flow even   from the mangled wreckage of a charcoal  gray Honda and a white Silverado pickup,   all in response to childlike submission and  meekness when dealing with what the father allows. "We appreciate Elder Holland letting us share our  testimonies with you all today, and I know that   we wish trials weren't a part of our life, but  one thing I've learned these past few months   which have been really really hard for me is that  we have a very loving Heavenly Father. And the   reason he lets us go through these trials is so  that we can learn things about ourselves. We can   learn to have faith, we can learn to be strong,  and especially we can learn to rely on our Savior   and Heavenly Father definitely sends us angels.  He sent us so many people to help us. He lets   other people help us during our lowest moments.  I don't think that I would have had such a strong   testimony of just how much Heavenly Father really  loves us if I hadn't gone through these things."   "A few weeks after Austin passed away, a friend  came up to me and said that I'd gone through the   worst thing that anyone could ever go through,  and I thought about it for a minute and then I   said, "I don't agree with you. I think the  worst thing that any of us could ever go through   is to not be with our family for eternity."  In these past four months there have been   three or four times where I didn't  know if she was going to make it   but in the back of my mind I  knew that even if she didn't   that we had been sealed in the temple for time and  all eternity and that was really what mattered.   The the only thing I believe that we truly own  is our ability to make choices. Our bodies are   a gift from God. The air we breathe  is a gift from God all the materials   and they all can be taken away at any time, but  the one thing we have is our agency. And what's   so beautiful about the struggles and trials and  difficulties that we have is it allows us to   use our agency, whether we can forgive or not  forgive, whether we can show love, or kindness, or   help people. We hope you all know that we love our  Savior. We know that he died for us and because of   him we can be together forever as a family, and  we just hope that we always use our agency to   forgive others that have wronged us to show love  and kindness and to be there for other people.   And we leave this with you in  the name of Jesus Christ. Amen." Well my beloved young friends,  I too leave my witness with you.   I testify that when life brings you  disappointment or sorrow, and on occasion it will,   that the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the  church that espouses the fullness of it,   are true and strong. They are what the  psalmist called a "refuge for the oppressed;   a refuge in times of trouble." I bear witness of  love and faith, of repentance and perseverance,   of long-suffering and the merciful grace of  god. I particularly bear witness of joy at the   end of the quest, some of which comes from the  hard things we're called to do on that quest.   I testify we are in the process of rebirth  and refinement, of becoming a saint through   the Atonement of Christ the Lord and will  be reduced to childlike faith and humility   in the course of that experience. I testify of  these truths and I leave an apostolic blessing   on each of you for the realization of  every righteous desire of your heart   as you search for the God of Heaven and  Earth to be in your life. I willingly   and lovingly share with you my own faith in  you and with you and for you, that that faith   will lift you up from every burden that  you feel, the ones you can carry and the   ones that you cannot, and it will heal every  wound that you fear now are fatal. I do so   with love in the name of him who gives the  power to do such things, who himself was lifted   up on a cross so that we could be lifted up to  eternal life. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.