Ways to Make a Narcissist Respect You

Understanding Narcissistic Supply

• Narcissistic Supply: The primary driver for narcissists, comparable to a drug.
• Hierarchy of Narcissistic Supply: Grades from diamond level (high value) to coal level (low value).
  • Diamond Level: Includes sources like image, respect from peers, and potential new sources of supply.

Strategies to Gain Respect

6. Stay Distant

• Reasoning: Prevents them from learning your weaknesses.
• Caution: Early detection can be difficult, trust instincts.

5. Maintain Independence

• Types of Independence: Financial, emotional.
• Reasoning: Demonstrates you don't rely on them.

4. Have Something of Value

• Examples: Prestige, influence, social standing.
• Reasoning: Narcissists appreciate optics and connections.

3. Be in a Position of Control

• Examples: Judge, boss, respected group member.
• Reasoning: They need to maintain a good image in front of you.

2. Pretend to Respect Them

• Strategy: Let them believe you value them and their skills.
• Reasoning: Feeds their need for agulation.

1. Be Self-Assured and Confident

• Reasoning: They respect authority and confidence.
• Shift Dynamic: Resolute posture induces panic in narcissists, shifting balance of power.

Additional Insights and Tips

General Considerations

• Respect Layers: Different strategies for close relationships vs new encounters.
• Abuse Dynamics: Compare their methods to tantrums or bullying.
• Divorce and Legal Tactics: Gather information, education on rights, and strategic navigation.
• Confidence and Self-Worth: Self-validation, setting boundaries, and adherence.

Key Phrases to Use

• “I agree with you.” (Qualified with what they think)
• “I can see you are upset.”
• “Your approach is not working for me.”
• *“Okay.” (Remain unreactive)
• “You will need to remain calm, factual, and non-emotional.”
• “I know you’re hurt/angry, but that’s no excuse for disrespect.”
• “I’m choosing not to respond to that.”
• “I’m going to ask you to respect my boundaries.”
• “I hear you.”
• “For us to communicate, it must be respectful.”*

Emphasized Actions

• Walk Away: Ultimate step for gaining respect and self-preservation.
• Daily Accolades: Recognize and affirm daily achievements to build self-worth.
• Setting Boundaries: Essential for long-term respect and personal mental health.
• Reaffirm Control: Constantly remind yourself of your control over your life and boundaries.
• Seek Competent Help: Engage with professionals knowledgeable in narcissistic abuse and negotiation.
• Education and Information: Crucial for legal and personal defense against narcissistic tactics.

Emotional Health and Support

• Therapy and Support Systems: Vital for recovery and strength.
• Affirmative Statements: Reinforce self-empowerment with statements like "I am in control."