Lecture Notes: The Power of Deep Questions and Communication

Introduction

• Experiment Proposal: Ask a stranger the question "When was the last time you cried in front of someone?" and answer it yourself.
• Initial Reaction: Audience not excited, as expected due to discomfort.
• Objective: Convince the audience that this experiment improves life quality.

Personal Story

• Pattern of Miscommunication: The speaker and wife experienced repeated communication failures.
• Resolution: Sought insight from communication researchers.

Insights from Research

• Golden Age of Communication: Advances in neural imaging and data collection.
• Three Types of Conversations:
  • Practical: Discussing logistics or solutions.
  • Emotional: Sharing feelings and seeking empathy.
  • Social: Discussing identities and societal relations.
• Matching Principle: Successful communication requires matching the type of conversation.

Practical Applications

• Teachers' Approach: Ask students if they want help (practical), a hug (emotional), or to be heard (social).
• Deep Questions:
  • Definition: Questions that invite sharing of values, beliefs, or experiences.
  • Examples: "What do you love about your job?" instead of "Where do you work?"
  • Purpose: Encourage vulnerability and reciprocal connections.

Case Study: Dr. Bafar Adai

• Situation: Patients insisted on prostate surgery despite advice against it.
• Solution: Changed approach to asking deep questions.
• Outcome: Patients chose active surveillance after meaningful conversations.

Experiment by Nick Epley

• Context: University of Chicago study on deep questions.
• Findings: Participants felt highly connected and valued conversations.
• Conclusion: Deep questions lead to better understanding and connections.

Conclusion

• Call to Action: Encourage engaging in deep conversations with strangers.
• Benefits: Enhances connection, combats polarization, and utilizes evolved craving for communication.
• Final Words: Try the experiment and share the experience.