Arin [doing a shitty AVGN impression]: Mickey Mouse...
[Dan laughs] [Dan and Arin laugh uncontrollably] AVGN Arin: First of all...
[Dan laughs] [Dan and Arin continue to laugh uncontrollably] ♫ Hey I'm Grump ♫ ♫ I'm Not-So-Grump ♫ ♫ And we're the Game Grumps ♫ AVGN Arin: What the heck is up with this game?
[Dan laughs] AVGN Arin: Are those paintings or windows?
[Dan laughs] AVGN Arin: Jeez, game designers. Make up your minds. Dan: Uh, okay, so this is Mickey Mousecapade, and right before we started Arin and I were watching a walkthrough where one of those guys was doing, like, one of those fake-ass Like, Video Game... Angry Video Game Nerd voices, and now Arin can't stop doing it. And it's cracking my shit up. AVGN Arin: What is this bullshit?
[Dan laughs] AVGN Arin: Two cats? Why not three? Jeez, what were they thinking? [Dan laughs] AVGN Arin: This game's a bunch of poopy ass-dicks. [Dan laughs] AVGN Arin: Covered in chocolate feces... [Dan laughs] AVGN Arin: What is this, some kind of angel? I don't want religion in my game! [both laugh uncontrollably] Dan [through laughter]: Oh my God... AVGN Arin: Jeez, walking chairs? What's he in a hurry for? To get sit on? [both laugh] Dan: Stop!
[Arin continues to laugh] [both continue to laugh] Dan [through laughter]: Ohh, I can't handle it. AVGN Arin: What's this flashing bird flashing for? Is he the police? [both continue to laugh uncontrollably] Dan: Holy shit! AVGN Arin: Jeez, you open up a treasure chest to get a key. Isn't that ass-backwards? [Dan and Arin laugh uncontrollably] Dan: Oh my God! AVGN Arin: What's the deal with these wall grenades? [Dan and Arin laugh] AVGN Arin: You'd think they'd explode a little bit bigger.
[Dan continues to laugh] AVGN Arin: Come on, game designers! Get with it!
[Dan keeps on laughing] [yet more laughter from Dan] AVGN Arin: This game's a bunch of poopy ass-drippings covered in semen!
[Dan continues to laugh] [Dan sounds as though he can't breathe due to laughter] [Dan and Arin laugh] [Dan coughs while Arin keeps laughing] [Dan goes back to laughing] Dan: Oh God, the Skittles. I'm gonna throw up Skittles.
[Arin laughs] AVGN Arin: Are you okay, Dan? Or do you need a lobotomy? Dan [through laughter]: Shut up! Jesus! So stupid!
[Arin laughs uncontrollably] [Dan and Arin continue to laugh] Dan: Oh my God! AVGN Arin: In this game, you play as a retarded mouse named Mickey!
[Dan laughs] AVGN Arin: He's got his girlfriend with him... AVGN Arin: But she should be too busy in the kitchen! [Dan and Arin laugh uncontrollably] Dan: [through laughter] Oh my God! Dan: Oh! No!
[Arin continues to laugh] AVGN Arin: Some...
Dan: My Minnie! AVGN Arin: Sometimes your girlfriend gets kidnapped by a bird. AVGN Arin: Just like her... AVGN Arin: ...Bitch. [Dan and Arin laugh uncontrollably] Dan: Oh God! Dan: I can't deal with this! AVGN Arin: This game has nothing to do with Disney, except that it sucks! [Dan and Arin laugh] Dan: [through laughter] So stupid! AVGN Arin: What a bunch of poopy anus farts covered in dick waffles...
[Dan laughs uncontrollably] [Dan and Arin laugh uncontrollably] AVGN Arin: Being poured all over a fat girl's titties! [Dan seems to be having trouble breathing] [Dan and Arin continue to laugh like maniacs] Dan: Oh! My lungs are gonna collapse! [Arin laughs while Dan struggles to breathe] Dan: Minnie, you fucking bitch, where are you? AVGN Arin: I've never experienced such assitry in my life!
[Dan laughs] AVGN Arin: Well, except maybe after I took that long diarrhea dump when I ate IHOP! Dan: [through laughter] Oh my God! Dan: How many, fucking, um... Dan: Okay, so Minnie's in one of these statues. I gotta find her. Oh, damn it. AVGN Arin: This is the dumbest game mechanic ever. You have to keep going through a window. AVGN Arin: And if it's not the right Minnie, you have to come out again! AVGN Arin: Jeez, what were they thinking?
[Dan laughs] AVGN Arin: This game's a bunch of poopy dicks..
[Dan laughs even harder] [Dan and Arin laugh uncontrollably] AVGN Arin: That's been dipped in... vomit!
[Dan keeps laughing] AVGN Arin: From a cow's butthole! Dan: Yay! Minnie! Dan: Oh my God... AVGN Arin: So you get your girlfriend back, but she doesn't even do anything! AVGN Arin: Why would you even wanna get her back? AVGN Arin: ...Bitch. [Dan and Arin laugh uncontrollably] AVGN Arin: And then you get to the first boss. She's a fat-ass witch AVGN Arin: And she shoots cotton balls. Who gets hurt by cotton balls? AVGN Arin: Apparently Mickey! And his... b-b-bitch. [Dan and Arin laugh uncontrollably] Dan: Oh. Oh God. AVGN Arin: Gosh, this game sucks so much. Who designed it, Satan? [Dan and Arin laugh, not quite as heavily] Dan: Oh my God. Would you say it reminds you of anything, Arin? Like a, like a-- Dan: Maybe a certain type of feces, of some kind? AVGN Arin: Yeah! It reminds me of a pile of diarrhea dick farts
[Dan laughs] [Dan continues to laugh] AVGN Arin: Covered in cheesy vomit with a side of gorilla poop!
[Dan keeps laughing] [Dan and Arin laugh] Dan: This may be the most mature episode of Game Grumps that's ever happened.
[Arin laughs] Dan: Oh, come on Minnie. I need you. AVGN Arin: I've never played such a bad game in my life-- Well, maybe I have! AVGN Arin: It's called Mickey Mousecapade 2! [Dan and Arin laugh] Dan: Oh, I can't deal with this anymore... AVGN Arin: How are these spiders coming down? They don't even have web! AVGN Arin: What the heck, game designers? Get it together! [Dan and Arin laugh] Dan: Oh God, I'm gonna fucking barf. [Dan and Arin laugh] AVGN Arin: You're gonna barf, just like this game makes me barf
[Dan laughs] AVGN Arin: Out diarrhea dicks! [Dan and Arin laugh] AVGN Arin: I pissed a cactus out my dick
[Dan laughs] Dan: [through laughter] What?! Dan: What does that even mean? AVGN Arin: I farted on my mother's face, and she liked it better than this game! Dan: [through laughter] Jesus. [Arin laughs] Dan: Ohh. This is gonna be the-- this is-- Dan: I don't know if I've shown my mom Game Grumps yet
Regular Arin: Uh huh. Dan: But this is definitely gonna be the first episode she sees, just by fate.
[Arin laughs] Dan: And she'll be like, "Cool living you're making, Dan." [Dan and Arin laugh] Arin: Glad you get to giggle at fart jokes all day. Dan: Really proud I sent you through college. [Dan and Arin laugh] Arin: Sheds, like, sheds a tear. Dan: Oh, God. Arin: It's like, tear of joy, or tear of mmm... something else? Dan: Are you sensing that this door is requiring something? Dan: Mmm... yeah! Dan: Oh, we can do it! Let's get outta here!
Arin: Good, wow, oh wow. AVGN Arin: Wow, glad I escaped that game. Wait, there's more? Ohhhh nooo!
[Dan laguhs] AVGN Arin: This game sucks better than a dick-- b-- farting on a... bagina. [Dan laughs] AVGN Arin: Covered in poop! Dan: [through laughter] Oh my God. Dan: Did you say "bagina?" Arin: [through laughter] Yeah! [Dan and Arin laugh] Dan: Oh, actually I remember this board as being super hard, 'cause like... Dan: Rogue waves just come, that you can't, fuckin', like... Dan: Wait, is that a fucking fox? Dan: Ahh! AVGN Arin: Whoa! [Dan and Arin laugh] Dan: I feel like now everything we're doing is, like, in that voice, whether we want it to be or not.
[Arin laughs] Dan: Like... [doing a shitty AVGN impression] Oh no! AVGN Arin: Whoa, waves? Like that? That's not according to plate tectonics! Dan: Like, dude, is that a foxbird? [Dan and Arin laugh] AVGN Arin: And then you have to avoid these birds that are constantly taking a shit. AVGN Arin: What did they eat? Taco Bell? [Dan laughs] Dan: This episode of Game Grumps sponsored by Taco Bell. [Arin laughs] AVGN Arin: And then when you get to the end of the screen, there's a bouncing alligator. AVGN Arin: And he's got no hands! Wait, maybe he does. AVGN Arin: Come on, des-- game designers, make up your minds! Dan: [through laughter] Oh my God, dude. Dan: I can't handle it. AVGN Arin: This game's a bunch of diarrhea dick hairs.
[Dan laughs] Dan: [through laughter] Dude. Dan: It's when you compound the types of shit that the game is Dan: That I really can't ha-- I can't deal. [Arin laughs] Dan: Oh, God. AVGN Arin: The only thing this game reminds me of is the massive shit I took earlier. [Dan and Arin laugh uncontrollably] AVGN Arin: I've never been happier to play a game, except every other game I've ever played! Dan: [through laughter] Oh my God! Dan: Are there really a ton of guys like that? Arin: Oh, totally, dude. Dan: Oh, Jesus. Arin: I mean, once AVGN hit the scene and like, and made everybody laugh, Arin: Everyone was like, "I can do that! Let me put up my own videos!" Arin: And yet they all forget that you need to be talented, charming, and funny. [Dan laughs]
Arin: To pull it off. Dan: [through laughter] Oh my God. Dan: Oh no! Oh! Arin: So if Minnie dies, you die? Dan: Yeah, you just fucking, like... Dan: Die from grief, I guess.
[Arin laughs] [Dan yells as though he is dying Dan: No!! AVGN Arin: If useless-ass Minnie dies, you die. AVGN Arin: What is this, a marriage? [Dan and Arin laugh] Dan: [through laughter] Dude.
[Arin laughs] Dan: Plea-- Wow, there is a fuckin' massive jump in difficulty from level one to level two. [Arin laughs[
Dan: Wow! Dan: I was dealing with, like, chairs. Dan: And now it's every creature in the ocean, and foxbirds. [Dan and Arin laugh] Arin: Foxbirds... Dan: There's no... Arin: And jellyfish, and waves, and then Crocodile Man. Dan: Yeah.
Arin: Who, by the way, they don't swim in the ocean. Arin: They swim in lakes and ponds. Dan: Yeah. [laughs] Dan: Lotta people don't know that. Dan: God! Damn it! Arin: Sheez, man. Dan: Right? Dan: All right, I might not be able to make this happen. Arin: I think you can make it happen. Dan: Can you give me strength by perhaps listing a bunch of different types Dan: Of things that can come out of an anus? AVGN Arin: This game reminds me of a piece of dookie butt... [Dan laughs] Dan: Dookie butt?! AVGN Arin: ...that smells like I put my hand in my mother's butthole! [Dan laughs] AVGN Arin: I ate chili today just so I could take a shit that's better than this game! [Dan and Arin laugh] Dan: [through laughter] Oh my God... Dan: [still laughing] Oh my God. AVGN Arin: I dug up a grave because I hear that you take a shit when you die
[Dan laughs] AVGN Arin: And it's probably better than this game!
[Dan laughs] AVGN Arin: What a bunch of ass drippings!
[Dan laughs] AVGN Arin: What a bunch of kooky, docky poo poo!
[Dan laughs harder] [Dan and Arin laugh] AVGN Arin: What a bunch of brown and red feces!
[Dan laughs] AVGN Arin: Yeah, that's bloody feces!
[Dan laughs] Dan: [through laughter] Stop!!
[Arin laughs] [Dan and Arin continue to laugh] Dan: [wearily] Oh, God... [Arin laughs] Dan: Dude, we're gonna have amazing abs from laughing like goofballs
[Arin laughs] Dan: For fuckin' forty minutes straight.
[Arin keeps laughing] AVGN Arin: When you have better abs, it makes you poop better!
[Dan laughs] AVGN Arin: Which means you'll poop out a better game than this! Dan: [through laughter] Oh my God. [Dan and Arin laugh] Dan: [wearily] I can't deal. Dan: Oh! Dan: Oh no! Arin: You... dude. Dan: Oh. I'm dead.
Arin: Wow. Dan: I think that's the game. Arin: Good job.
Dan: I think I lost. Dan: Oh, man. Dan: [through laughter] Well, this has been a super fun fuckin' episode. AVGN Arin: What a piece of bullshit! You play the game and die, and you get a game over? AVGN Arin; What, do I just bring the game back?
[Dan laughs] AVGN Arin: Come on, let me try again! [Dan and Arin laugh] Dan: Ugh. Was this game sent to us by anybody? Arin: No! Dan: Oh, okay. [laughs] Arin: BYE!! [Dan laughs]