marriage and relationships are one of the few things that connect pretty much every culture in every time period after all many would argue that the desire to find love and companionship is simply human nature but the way that our society approaches relationships is always evolving sometimes compatibility is the thing that is valued the most while other times the primary purpose of a relationship is to be a business transaction when looking at marriage in ancient Rome for example many of the attitudes and Customs that were common would be considered downright Unthinkable today however the Romans also had some ideas that were surprisingly modern for their time ladies and gentlemen this is histor Dame and today we're learning all about love and marriage in ancient Rome in ancient Rome the perception of marriage was Far different from how we treat it today its primary purpose was to trade wealth and create connections between families by uniting one member from each in matrimony it also involved the goal of producing heirs to carry on the husband's line and to keep the local population steady the idea of love was an afterthought and sometimes it wasn't important at all in Roman society the rights of women were very limited their main purpose was seen to be exclusively for marrying and bearing children a woman was not a full person under the law she was property though whose control she was under would change throughout her life going from her father when she was a child to her husband when she was married this could happen as early as 12 for young girls and 14 for boys though most girls would be married in their late teens while men would marry in their mid to late 20s with ages tending to skew younger if you were upper class marriages were arranged by the girl's father with her future husband and she rarely had a say in who he would be once an agreement was drawn up a dowy was given by the bride's family to her new husband which was an amount of wealth that was intended to cover various expenses in supporting her this could include money but also land slaves and valuables early in the Roman Republic women would marry into a state of Manus where they would be transferred from their father's legal control into that of their husband there were actually a few different types of Manus marriage that were recognized the first first was cotio which roughly translates to the word purchase this type of Union most closely resembled a business transaction where the wife was essentially being sold to her husband the second type of marriage was usus which was based on cohabitation if a couple lived together for an entire year the woman would come under the man's legal control unless she moved out of the house for three consecutive days and finally there was conero which had more ties towards religion included an entire ceremony and was probably the most similar to what we know as marriage today now it is understandable that no woman would want to agree to anything that translated to the words purchase or usage because well yikes but luckily in the later years of the Republic another version of marriage came into prominence known as Sin Manu unlike the marriage of the past this type of Union allowed a woman to stay under the legal control of her paternal family rather than that of her husband this gave women more freedom and allowed them to manage their own financial affairs and property if their father passed away rather than having their husband own [Music] everything Roman weddings were heavily influenced by religion with certain Customs including the day that the ceremony would take place being carefully thought out to appeal to the gods weddings would usually be held in the month of June June due to its ties to the goddess Juno who was closely associated with women in marriage it was believed that a couple could never have a happy marriage if they experienced any bad Omens on their wedding day so it was crucial that the ceremony never took place on a day that was considered unlucky in addition to that following all the marital Customs further ensured the prosperity of the marriage now in order to get married three conditions had to be met both participants needed to have the right to marry under under Roman law be of marrying age and all parties involved had to consent to the marriage though this came with some caveats the woman didn't have a choice in her marriage so whether she wanted it or not her lack of public objection would be seen as her consent before the wedding took place the future bride would be required to make a sacrifice to the household Gods from her childhood items on the day of the wedding the ceremony and reception would be hosted at the house of the bride's father who would also pay for everything including a lavish Feast an ideal bride was expected to be both excited and somewhat scared in regards to her new marriage Not only would she be starting a new life but she would also be under total control of her husband and he had new expectations for her role as a wife one interesting wedding custom in ancient Rome is that the groom would actually stage a kidnapping of the Bride since the marriage would make her a part of his household she would be leaving behind her father's household gods and coming under the jurisdiction of his this kidnapping was done so that the previous Gods would not be offended by her leaping them of her own free will once the ceremony was over the wedding procession would lead the new couple to the groom's house the front door would be smeared with oil and pig fat before they entered which was supposed to protect the bride since she would have no household Gods to do so in the window between getting married and arriving at the groom's house afterwards she would be carried through the doorway and the marriage was considered official the procession would then leave so that the couple could have some time alone for their wedding [Music] nights as was the expectation for many marriages throughout history in ancient Rome it was a husband's duty to provide for his family and country while it was a wife's job to tend to the household and raise children while the husband might have a career or fight in the Army women would occupy their time at home doing things like spinning cooking looking after the household gods and tending to the children despite the fact that most unions began as a business transaction Roman society valued maintaining a strong and happy marriage and in an ideal situation it was believed that love could bloom along the way it was thought that a well-matched couple displayed complimentary personality traits and were emotionally supportive of each other Mutual devotion and loyalty was incredibly important for the Roman people especially when the state of your marriage could respect your place in society writers at the time further emphasized the ideal wife should be a one-man woman remaining modest loving supportive and subservient to her husband men on the other hand received more leeway when it came to having relations outside of their marriage if a woman were to be intimate with anyone other than her husband that would be considered adultery which could have some serious consequences for men however it was only considered adultery if they slept with someone else's daughter or wife slaves and prostitutes did not count and men were also free and expected to participate in same-sex relationships as long as they took the dominant role that being said most of the records that we have from this time period are in fact written by men specifically ones who were higher class so it is likely that some bias clouds our perception of what the average marriage was like it is possible that many marriages were much happier than they might sound after all though an arranged marriage might not be the norm today they were standard back then and most people didn't know any different but unfortunately we will never know the true feelings of these people since we only have historical records to go off of and those are [Music] limited despite many other nations not making it legal until hundreds of years later divorce was generally accepted in ancient Roman society in terms of both morality and religion breaking off a marriage was seen as a neutral action and was relatively free from social stigma the worst you could expect was some gossip amongst your circles if you were upper class in contrast to the sometimes drawn out court cases that we experience today divorce was a topic that was kept private and like the marriage itself was handled by the two families involved but a marriage could only be broken off for serious reasons and like with all aspects of Roman relationships men had much more leeway initially being the only ones who were allowed to request the dissolution of a union some documented reasons for a man divorcing his wife could include adultery alcoholism or infertility but by the beginning of the Classical period women were also allowed to divorce their husbands the only real consequences that came from breaking off a marriage involved finances and family Dynamics any existing children from the marriage were considered to be a part of the husband's family since the main purpose of getting married in the first place was to produce heirs he would receive sole custody of the children in order to carry on his line their mother might still have the opportunity to see them of course but they would no longer be living together in the same household she was also required to pay a portion of her Dowry to her husband for each child though the rest would be returned to her family divorce would also sever any ties between the two families and some might lose certain influence or benefits that they received from the alliance after officially dissolving the marriage both the man and the woman would be encouraged to and often did end up remarrying so in some ways ancient Roman customs more closely resemble modern times than we realize all I know is if I lived in ancient Rome I think one marriage would be more than enough for me hey everyone thank you for watching if you enjoyed the video please consider leaving a like or a comment down below if you want to see more content like this you can also subscribe to my channel and keep up to date on all the fun histor videos of the future but for now I bid you farewell