Transcript for:
Exploring Gurdjieff's Fourth Way Teachings

[Music] the cloud okay you guys so I am so happy that I get to show you these teachings because to me it's like being everyone remembers a person that first taught them how to roll a joint like that took the time to be like look you know nobody was born knowing how to roll a joint I'm going to show you these little hacks and then every time you roll a joint for the rest of your life you think about that person so I am so thrilled that I get to be this person for you and I'm just going to ask that everybody keeps an eye on their um just keep an eye if you hear a sound in the background make sure that it's not coming from you and do me a favor and just put yourself on mute so I've got my rajn pum shirt on right now and I thought it would be a cool way to open this discussion because when I first when that documentary about Oso came out on Netflix I was like I [ __ ] knew it about Osho you know I [ __ ] knew it about Osho these Osho people are all so weird like yada y y and then I realized that I really thought about it and I realized that even though I wasn't teaching Osho stuff or I wasn't dosing people buffets how did Oso manage to assemble such a large crowd like he had such a huge following of people he had multiple rolls-royces he had crazy custommade outfits you don't assemble a crowd of people that large if you're just teaching like parlor tricks if you're just teaching little bullshits like nobody's going to assemble around you and something that ROM do said that I think is really useful is like steal everything you can from a teacher literally steal every single thing that you can you're going to go through a lot of teachers in your life before you meet the one that's like really doing it for you and for a lot of people for 2third of spiritual teachers they're here to sample lots of different lineages it's only onethird of spiritual teachers that are here to kind of follow one lineage all the way to the end so just because like all teachers are human all teachers are flawed no teachers are Gods everyone makes mistakes a cow gives milk you turn the cow around and there's a hole where it gives [ __ ] everything that has the ability to nourish also has the ability to create waste so you have to decide do you want to be an expert in nourishment or do you want to be an expert in [ __ ] because most people are experts in [ __ ] I'm a deeply flawed person Osho a deeply flawed person all of my favorite teachers ger deeply flawed people but the need for a teacher to be perfect to check all of the boxes so that you can learn from them no this is just you feeling like you need to be perfect to even throw your hat into the ring so come to this conversation and steal everything that you can with my blessing if something's not resonating with you discard it no TR don't trust me at all I'm just going to give you these tests these tests that you can try out on yourself and if they are giving you a result that you like continue if you come to this conversation and you're hearing all new things that you've never heard before and you like the way that that makes you feel continue so we have a stacked we have a stacked class plan today and it's not Osho although Osho did study this method everything that I am teaching you in today's lesson is coming from a lineage called The Fourth Way who here raise your hand if you've ever heard of the fourth way so the fourth way is a teaching that was was really began by a teacher named gii GFF and GFF was trained by a lot of different teachers but mainly he went around to all of these different hidden secret esoteric schools in the Middle East and a lot of this was really influenced by the sufis a lot of this was it was a collective called the sarmon Brotherhood where it's not a religion nothing that I'm teaching you here is religious this is not a theology it's not a god it's just like esoteric physics what do all religions agree on how can we test this data without faith and this is why it works really well for me because I G of is spelled gur d g j i FF and for me this teacher is like I'm in love with him I'm in love with him I'm writing a book about being seduced by him that's how in love with him I am like this's the only F that does for me what my husband does for me I'm just like a like in love and when I was first introduced to this path um the teacher who initiated me for a lot of money the teacher who initiated me just kind of explained like look if you're a fourth W person nothing else is really going to do it for you and I had explored and studied a lot of different lineages Kundalini Yoga Tantra I spent a lot of time in epha and or epha and every single time I got close to one of these they would be like oh yeah you know you're Kundalini you're Tantra you're epha like you got to initiate you got to do the Priestess and you got to do this whole thing and it never really like it didn't it didn't feel like like me and so when I was told this about Fourth Way like hey if you're a Fourth Way student Vidant advita these things aren't really going to work for you the same way I was like me you know we'll see because everybody says that but I started studying the Fourth Way earnestly like with my whole heart really really wanting to learn and really really wanting to grow in 2019 it's now 2024 and I'm like more more hooked than ever but these are not like my beliefs as a teacher what I tried to do is just show you what a lot of different um religions what a lot of different esoteric schools all agree on especially with topics like death or what happens after death I think it's really important to know that there's a lot of different ways of looking at this so don't feel like here in this class like I'm saying this is the way this is the only way it's just the best way that I've found so far and if you're this type of person if you're cynical if you've been done Dirty by religion if you're not into this like leap and I'll catch you not doing trust Falls with your spirituality you just want something that you can you can hold something that you can SN your teeth into and results that you can feel working right away like something that you're like oh oh [ __ ] for me I didn't start getting results at all until I started working on this path and there's a lot of different types of students out in the world like some people want to dabble with spirituality and for them the exoteric or watch our mute please distracted if I have to come and mute let yourself but I really don't want to be like a grunt about this so just do me a favor and check and see if you're on mute thank you so much done this plenty of times um please you guys so there's three levels of spirituality there's the exoteric and the exoteric is religion the exoteric is the world of Duality and your first Awakening is all going to happen your very first Spiritual Awakening of three if you're lucky will all happen in the exoteric so raise your hand if you've had a spiritual awakening where you realize that there's a way to consciously engage with your life so that you're not just somebody that things happened to but you actually can take part in designing your own destiny yeah this is the first Awakening where you realize oh my God there's the seen World which I've been toiling in my whole life there's the Unseen World I've always known about it I've always known that there were these secrets but I've never really gone after it and now I'm going after and I'm seeing these amazing results in my life this is your first Spiritual Awakening and congratulations totally different level of Consciousness right the person you were before you had this realization is totally different than the person you are now new friend Circle New Look new interests new boundaries basically everything that was sustaining your life up until your spiritual awakening like no longer worked and now you need new nourishment you need new diet you need new boundaries you need new practices so this is always what happens when you are ready for a new level of Consciousness when you're ready to learn and grew more you grew an inch amazing now before you had that Spiritual Awakening when you were reaching the top of that pre- awakened level everything that had been working for you up until that point will stop working so let's say that like you were self-medicating and that was really working for you or just like always being in a relationship so that you didn't really have to get alone and think about stuff or maybe you had even things that you really liked where you're like just writing in my journal does it for me but when all of your tricks stop working this is usually a sign that you need new tricks so the exoteric is the first level and we're all incarnated into this level and the main belief system that holds up this level is the Battle of good bad right and wrong so God and the devil entities evil forces Heaven and Hell punishment and reward people say there's no escaping The Duality of life to me there is no no bigger red flag for a limited view of what spirituality is than that statement because there absolutely unequivocally is a way to leave Duality behind and that's the second Awakening so the exoteric the metaphor we use for the exoteric is the Outer Circle of the temple now anybody can come to a temple you know attend a temple on a weekend and be like wow you know cool Temple I love Jesus you know y y it's available to the public everyone has a right to it everyone can experience it now the second level is the mesoter and the underlying belief in the mesoter is Oneness there is no bad there is no punishment there is no evil and as a result of there being no bad punishment or evil judging others disappear appears but also your need for control disappears and considering that so much of that first Spiritual Awakening is about like how to manifest AKA like how to control your destiny it's important how to learn how to set high goals and work tirelessly to achieve them but it's very different than being like Universe please bring me this I'm going to do these rituals hope you like me well enough to do it and if the manifesting doesn't work we say let me go find more ways to manifest better or more consistently it it doesn't actually work that way when you're manifesting tools stop working it's a sign that you're ready to go to a higher level of Consciousness a level where you don't want to control so to know this is one thing but to really understand it will completely change your being and that's Awakening that's Enlightenment it completely change to go from the exoteric to the mesoter is Awakening this is your second significant Spiritual Awakening and you will be here for a long time somebody has commented here that says spiritual bypassing and just a note spiritual bypassing is not a possibility you might be seeing somebody for example not being willing to confront the death of someone because they're saying well they're always around and they're always around me and it might seem like they're cutting the line in some way cutting the line is not possible it's not possible to cut the line spiritual bypassing is not how spirituality works and anybody that has tried to spiritual bypass and seen the way that it catches up with you very quick knows this this is something that we you can't trick the universe exactly everything is weighed measured and earned there's no tricking the universe so moving from the exoteric to the mesoter is what the function of these sessions are all about now the mesoter the it's likened to the inner Courtyard of of the temple so in the inner Courtyard there's monks and they're doing their meditations and everything now you can't buy a robe off of Amazon and walk into the temple and sit down and start meditating it doesn't work like that and this going into this second level it's not for somebody that just wants to dabble like to even be interested to even find where can I go to enroll to get into the inner circle of the temple you have to be the type of person that's very devoted to the practice because historically the only way you could get access is through renunciation giving up everything in your life only devoting to this path shaving your head releasing all of your belongings the path of the renunciate this used to be the only way that you could get access to teachings like this so in order to go from the Outer Circle of the temple into the inner circle of the temple you need to be initiated and initiated isn't being like you know I now W KN you know it's not it's not like that it's just that all of the teachings of the second level are paradoxical so how can you be exerting effort and surrendering at the the same time how can you be ascended and grounded at the same time how can you use your mind but lead with the heart these aren't things that you can understand from a book the function of a teacher is to answer your questions and to basically take the complex teachings that they really understand and just keep tell just keep explaining them in new ways to you until you understand how this could fit your life it has to be done with a living teacher and I thought this for a really long time but something it's just I didn't make the rules I definitely tried to break them but I didn't make the rules um this is just how it is this is just how it's always been and when people say well you know you could look up anything on the internet of course like you could have any answer on the internet but it's the questions it's the questions who are we why are we here how high up is Earth in the chain of command do I matter is manifest all there is if I don't know what I want why am I manifesting what I want how do I know when it's time to effort how do I know when it's time to surrender questions like these they need to be given to you in a language that you can understand otherwise the book all the books all present his code though you can read the Bible when you know what the code is and you'll get a very different book a very different book than anything you've ever come across in religion you'll realize that every single Parable has massive meaning and the teachings at the second level are given in Parable Parable and myth so to give you a parable to illustrate this Jesus told a parable about a farmer that sewed seeds who's here has heard this Parable raise your hand a farmer was sewing seeds and some of the seeds fell on sandy soil and some of the seeds fell on rocky soil and some of the seeds fell on very fertile soil so inside your mind you have places that you've got your arms crossed it's rocky soil you don't want to receive information you go oh show that's some weirdness Raj per I got to go face tattoo I got to get can't receive information sometimes it falls on sandy soil it's a part of you that's open but is still not you're not willing to water it it has to be cultivated it's not fertile it's not going to it's not going to hit the same way and then there's the fertile soil where everything that is planted can grow and flourish and serve with with not so much effort from you so a good prayer before we start any of these courses is please let this fall on fertile soil let me be in a space of receiving here let me uncross my arms and come with an empty cup and be willing to be taught something that I don't know now the Parable doesn't end there because then Jesus says but then in the night somebody came and sewed in on the fertile soil all kinds of weeds all kinds of weeds and they didn't know until it already started to sprout and Jesus said to the farmer don't go and pull out the weeds because it will damage the roots that are already in the ground first part of the parable is easy second part of the parable a little more tricky and what this means is that if you already have existing beliefs or existing practices that you're attached to that you've been with for a long time and maybe they're right for you maybe they're wrong for you maybe they're the weeds maybe I'm the weeds who knows but if we go around pulling up everything saying no we got to throw this away this was wrong this was bad this was right this was wrong what we do is nothing ends up growing so don't drop any of your practices because I've soared in and said hey you know try this instead practices are like malas when they fall off it's time for them to go let them grow and then once they've grown up and you can see clearly you can discern what's what then you can pull out what doesn't serve you no trusting just testing so if you think about all the time that the parables are told in churches and stuff remembering that the churches are the exoteric so everyone gets the Bible but the meaning in the Bible the meaning in The Parables is this whole other world this whole other world I'm going to give you guys one more because I know a lot of you guys struggle with this when Jesus says honor thy father and thy mother he's not talking about the fact that you have to have a perfect relationship with your parents or you're not spiritual he says very clearly in the Asen gospel of peace which is a direct exactly what he gave to his students not all like doctored up he's talking about the heavenly father and the Earthly mother which is the Paradox of being ascended and grounded at the same time or using your mind and living from your heart so the heavenly father is space it's everything that you don't know about life it's the great mystery it's Quantum time it's all it's the unknowable and it is so important in your life to honor the unknowable to always be reaching for more to always be hungry for more to never be what Jesus called Rich in spirit but to be constantly hungry for more wanting more that is honoring the heavenly father but also you need to honor the Earthly mother and the Earthly mother is your body it's this Earth that you live on it's this world that we're living in right here it is the complex tragic and glorious Human Experience that is our life we are not trying to like be aliens and transcend life and never we're here to navigate these limitations we're here to love being a human nobody will ever be able to prove to you this happens after death you might only have one go of this life so enjoy it enjoy it enjoy it and that's what it means to honor your father and your mother cool so the mesoter of the whole world and all of these things that you've like known but couldn't articulate start to make sense this is and this initiation has to happen from a living teacher because you just can't like read stuff like this in books once it's been open opened up for you and people are like it's all code then you can go and start reading being oh my God code and it's all cracking open and you're like oh my God I love literally every religion because we're all talking about the same thing like this is amazing um but there's a lot of moments like these and and this is what the function of a teacher is is to help you understand cool and then the final Awakening is when you go from the mesoter to the esoteric now I have done this can't speak on it what I can say is I've been in the mesoter for a while and I'm [ __ ] loving it baby and I'm [ __ ] loving it so I'm very happy to be on this journey I know what it's like to be really hungry for new teachings and being like is this all we're talking about like [ __ ] manifesting you know like I want to know I want to work miracles you know I want to work actual legit Miracles I've seen unexplainable things happen I don't want to make a [ __ ] vision board I want miracles I want to devote myself to this path I want to help alleviate the collective suffering of humanity I don't want to just dabble and show up to the temple on the weekends like bro I want to live in here give me my robes tell me what to do and I'll do it I'm ready took me a while to get to that point but when I was ready I was ready and and like Jesus says in the Beatitudes blessed are they which you hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled like we'll fill your cup but don't come to a buffet with a full plate don't be like Toby McGuire coming into the restaurant I used to work out with his little vegan peanut butter sandwich and asking us to put it on a plate for you I can't feed you if you brought your little weird sandwich so get rid of that come hungry leave happy the third Awakening is when you go from the mesoter to the esoteric the analogy for the esoteric is the holy of holies the Ark of the Covenant where only the high priests can enter now of course course you can work your way up to this level but you got to stop trying to cut the line you got to stop trying to be a unicorn this is the biggest limitation to you getting more teachings it's being like I already know this I could look this up on the Internet how much [ __ ] time you got how much time you got to play The Pride game with yourself I had a lot of time going from the esoteric to the esoteric the teachings are not word they they don't use words for the teaching anymore it's just symbols so the interesting thing is like if you're passionate about teaching when you're at the first level you you teach with story and so the Bible is a collection of different people's stories about God takes a long time and that's okay we all have to start here totally it's very good it's healthy there's not a line you want to skip there's a lot of really useful stuff that you learn in level one that you will take with you even if it's just to use it paradoxically so the second level of teachings myth and Parable much shorter small little teachings that pack a wall up third level of teachings no word necessary the teacher becomes a symbol a living symbol it's like those amazing like Rishi and teachers and stuff in India where you know like maharaji didn't even say anything to ramas he was just like love and they were like oh my God like you don't even say anything to me but you're just this symbol you live on and you leave a symbol behind of like and and all people have to do is look at the symbol and if they keep contemplating the symbol they will eventually reach Enlightenment with no words it's so [ __ ] dope the daa Ching the symbol of the yinyang Geri the symbol of the anagram Jesus the symbol of the Cross so these are so cool and someone just someone just mentioned here you're meant to step into my life yes I arrived in your life because of something you have inside of you called magnetic Center and magnetic Center is something that builds up inside of you as a result of asking questions not getting an answer you're satisfied with and not letting the questions go and they start to bother you why am I trying to manifest my life perfectly if every time I get what I manifest it's a [ __ ] [ __ ] show why why is it like this am I supposed to surrender or effort why if God knows everything and sees everything is there conflict on Earth does God not see Refugee children dying does God not see genocide what these questions that no amount of of outer level exoteric oh God has a plan trust in God oh this works oh surrender more make a better vision board God might not like these people as much as it likes you I don't know and you're like H bitter in my mouth like give me something I can chew on give me something I can chew on and so your future self the part of you that has been through this many times before sends you teachers and sometimes these teachers this is really common I don't take offense of it at all but take but definitely raise your hand if this happened to you with me a lot of times the Miracles you've been praying for are underneath the judgments you have of how you think it's got to look so a lot of times when the teacher shows up you're like who the [ __ ] are you [ __ ] are you this is why in Parables they always have this analogy of like God coming in the form of the beggar and like getting rejected um totally fine to have that resistance totally fine to have that resistance but as we go deeper into second level teachings which is also where we learn about the true nature of desire which brings us to the world of Kink and all this whole different world um you learn that usually what you're the most like oh like I don't want to finger and my butt is usually like exactly groaning for a boning you know what I mean so usually the things we're very resistant towards are the things that we actually want so those are the three levels of teachings and this teaching that I'm teaching you here is one of many different mesoter paths but this is a lineage called the fourth way so why is it called the fourth way it's called the fourth way because typically there were three ways that you could reach Enlightenment the way of the fa year the way of the Monk and the way of the Yogi so when you get to one that you feel like you might have been on like your hand so faak ear are not something that we're very familiar with in the west but in India they're very common and a fakier is somebody that puts their body through very difficult situations for example holding their arm up over their head for their whole life sleeping on a bed of nails putting your body in physical discomfort so that you transcend the needs of the body you turn the body off and now you have extra energy to push yourself into Enlightenment you're taking all let's say that we had 50 gallons of fuel in the body and that we need 150 gallons to awaken and we have an empty tank up here so we have 50 gallons in the body we have 50 gallons in the mind we have 50 gallons in the feelings but then we have an empty tank so we need to take 50 gallons from somewhere and push it into the empty tank because when that empty tank is filled we're enlightened to put this in very coarse terms um so the fa year is like I'm going to take my 50 gallons from the body I'm going to completely just drain the body no attachment to the body and I am going to reach Enlightenment this way and they do but they end up with a withered arm or sleeping for this one beautiful life on a bed of nails yes they get Enlightenment but it cost them the body so the second way is the path of the Monk the way of the Monk and the monk is like okay here's what I need to do my desires my feelings this whole world too much of a liability I want my body so I can do the exact same thing every single day and I want my mind so that I can contemplate scripture and become awaken that way but anything that's going to trigger my desire for example living in a co-ed situation a monk having a different outfit than me having a good hair day being exposed to things in the town that I might want can't have that so I'm going to take the 50 gallons out of desire and I'm going to push that into the empty tank and I'm going to achieve enlightenment that way and they do but at what cost the only way that you can live is in like a religious jail basically and that's not to say everybody that reaches Enlightenment is so happy to do it you know they don't know they're like stoked about it my arm withered who cares you know I'm like I'm over here I'm a Mount Olympus baby I'm doing the thing monks the same so fulfilled but at the end of their one life they had you know all they knew was the monastery was the ABY and so the third path is the way of the yogi and the yogi is like look desire super necessary super useful most important GPS that we have we would never do more than the bare minimum if it wasn't desire desire is natural people say oh well isn't desire suffering there's three levels of Buddhism and in the exoteric in the first level you're definitely told that desire is this is just I don't think you're ever even told flat out that desire is bad I just feel like so many people have developed this narrative that now people are just like H desire but the monk is like desire is I'm sorry the yogi is like desire is very good and I need this and also the body is really good and I need this but the mind the [ __ ] Troublesome mind that never shuts up the mind never shuts up it's always talking it's always doing something it's always you know like so let me just get rid of the mind and all of my practices are going to be around getting the mind to be quiet now the mind is never quiet the mind is not supposed to be quiet and you really need the mind for a lot it's very useful for a lot of things for relating for planning how you're going to teach Workshops the monk says I'm going to take the 50 gallons out of the mind so that I can push it into the empty tank and then I'm going to be enlightened that way and they are but when it comes to relating to other people how they could also Enlighten you've got somebody that has a perfect body that is connected with the true nature of Desire but without their mind they can't really help others so it's just a personal achievement it's just a personal achievement and you get put on the same path say okay we'll keep meditating and maybe one day you'll Enlighten like him and then we start to get the narrative that Enlightenment happens to certain people that are lucky because the people that it happened to by Mind by releasing the mind they can't tell us the fact your's got no interest in telling you how the monk will be like I'll tell you how but you got to shave your head you got to come and move into the Abbey with you're like I'm good and the Yogi the yogi doesn't have a mind to put this together it's too much brain power and they release that for enlightenment which brings us to the fourth way if you guys have ever read The Yoga sutras of patan the first line of the yoga sutras of Paton say at yoga anas and that means and in Sanskrit and now the teaching of yoga now a lot of us picked this up in our first yoga teacher training and immediately went on to the next stanzas about what it is but just this first line at yoga anas and now you come to the teachings you've tried a lot of different things you've tried going at it alone you've tried spending tons of money on therapy coaches you've tried meditating you've tried breath work you've tried plant medicine you've tried all of these other things you've tried self-medicating tried to [ __ ] the pain away of pro and now you come to the teachings of yoga and now we have the fourth way and now you're ready for it so if you feel like you're ready to receive more I want you to just close your eyes with me and pray that this lands on first ground we've all been brought into this space it's an honor for me to be here please let me speak this message clearly devoid of Personality devoid of the unnecessary and may I transmit this gift the absolute best that it can be transmitted that's me doing my part the gift I can give but receiving it that's your prayer that's your prayer so let's go and take a look at what we have on our class list for today because I can really talk you guys I can really talk oh we've got the whole class set up here so oh perfect timing so without getting too far ahead the first you know we just talked about the gift being given but you have to receive it gift being given but not received in the wheel of Enlightenment and we'll go really deeply into this next lesson as well as really deeply into what the anagram is and lesson three but the triangle points on an anagram and this process of Awakening we're doing is an anagram it's a magical process we have to do it step by step in the exact order that it's meant to but the very first I'm sorry but the triangle symbolizes the three times we need to add a shock or a super effort to go from A to B who here has ever tried to go from A to B I'm going to write a book and you're like okay cool that starts off easy you're like wow you know this is going great I got my writing outfit I've told like my entire Social Circle that I'm writing a book I've set up my perfect schedule I've woken up at 5: a.m. I have my special writers desk facing the wall because I heard only real writers face walls and not Windows and now I've sat down at my typewriter and I've got my special writing hands on and no words are coming and no words are coming we don't go from A to B in order to make it from A to B we have to bring in shocks at certain points so we have to bring in shocks and the first shock of life so that we can get awakened and stay awakened so we don't just want to get awakened but we actually want to stay awakened it's like getting a BBL and get a BBL but you have to work to maintain it the first shock that we need to begin our journey to Enlightenment is the breath and what this means is that every single person on Earth every single organism I'm sorry every single person because animals don't have this function but every single person that can breathe has the right to Enlightenment has an empty tank every single person on the whole earth you were given this gift you got the first shock that you need in order to awake taken the moment you hit Earth and started breathing now breath can be given but if it's not received it's not working so if somebody dies and I'm giving them CPR which I've done I can give them breath all I want but if they're not receiving it then nothing can be done so as a metaphor for how teachings work I'm going to give you guys psychological tests at the end of each and every every lesson but your results are a gift from your efforts I can give you these tests but you have to work them but you have to work them if you don't receive and put this stuff to work it's going to be feeding your personality where you're like yeah you know I did all of this but you won't really be getting the results so I want everyone to take a deep breath in receiving the breath fully take a deep breath in [Music] let's do this one more time a deep breath in if we just focused on using our first conscious shock on really receiving the breath that we are so delightfully given free of charge if we were to just focus on this we'd have very little problems our tension would melt away we'd see new options it's being given all the time this gift of life but so rarely do we receive it but if you're breathing you can awaken and if somebody else is breathing no matter how much you dislike them that rise and fall in the chest is the presence of Enlightenment is the presence of creation is the presence of goodness so if they're breathing good rule of thumb if they're breathing don't judge them make as many judgments as you want about them once they've died historical figures usually get uh get wall up all right so I'm going to share my screen the first thing that we're going to be talking about today is who are we who are we where are we and why are we here so we somebody just asked in the comments why don't animals have this function well Humanity humans we we are part of a large organism which is called organic life on Earth organic life on Earth organic life on Earth We're part of a system that includes trees part of a system that includes animals microorganisms fungi organic life on Earth and organic life on Earth has a lifespan of 3.5 million years before it resets typically now in this cycle we have 600,000 and a few decades 600,000 years left of this cycle of organic life on Earth as far as the fourth way is concerned now I'm going to show you guys something on here let me just it's on my photos so I have to make sure that I have this the right let me pull this up first and then I'll show you and if you guys are on uh I can try and turn my camera around for my friends on Instagram so you can see but you can also feel free to attend this call on zoom and if anybody wants to help me out here if I have anyone on here that that works with me at my school if you want to drop the link in the Instagram live we have 170 people that would really like to be watching this as well so it's been said that intelligence is knowing where you are and so I'm going to show you what that is so can everybody see this picture up here this picture of the absolute let me see if I uh and what we have here is these numbers descending down this is called in the fourth way the ray of creation and this is the cosmology this is the in the fourth way what they believe exists outside of us where we are in the chain of command Etc so again the fourth way is a compilation of all World Systems all World Knowledge basically esoteric schools were built where they're like look this religion believes this they have really good results this religion believes this they also have really good results what are they all agreeing on and let's just study that so the first thing that we want to look at on here is the fact that there's one two three four five six 7even eight points now this is an octave an octave is do r and we count the reason why it's eight and not seven is because in an octave we usually count the same note twice it begins with do and it ends in do and all of the secrets of the universe all of the Mysteries of the universe can be explained either using math can be explained using light and color and it can also be explained using music so you'll hear this term a lot as you start you know kind of climbing up and being exposed to better more Arcane teachings is an octave everything happens in an octave we'll discuss this more specifically the law of octaves when we get to lesson three but all creations all happenings all abilities to go from point A to point B happen in an octave it happens in seven steps every single one now it means eight and again we call it an octave because we're counting that first note twice so it used to be that music every time you heard chanting or hymns or anything like that it was invoking the laws of the universe it was a code anybody could come to the church and hear the choir anyone could come to the church and hear the choir but for people who had ears to hear for people who had been initi ated they were listening in the music to the fundamental law of the universe the fundamental laws of creation it was a musical code so the soul F the soul which is where we get do rido from the soulfed these are short terms they mean something each note actually means something about who we are and where we are and why we're here now people have really had a hard time with the fact that I say cedo and not too because the the movie The Sound of Music had a huge impact on our relationship to the sues this is the original Latin version where we say cedo and not Teo so I know te is a drink with jam and bread but we're talking about something slightly different here so all of creation all of creation from the top from the microcosm all the way up to the macrocosm has this urge called the duplicating principle I'm going to stop my shirt because we're going to talk about this for a second it's called the duplicating principle and it is the desire for something to replicate itself so humans want to procreate teachers want to create students that can continue on the teaching plants leave seed needs for all creation from the macrocosm to the microcosm there is this urge to duplicate oneself to not let the cycle end with you but to continue pushing creativity and creation forward the universe is constantly expanding because it's constantly making love to and reproducing itself endlessly outwards and outwards and that's a bit of a tantric philosophy if you're like oh how does that work exactly we can we can really split apart some other teachings in here but that that tantrick everything is [ __ ] itself philosophy we'll do that one another day but the urge to duplicate is in all teachers it's in all systems it's in all humans and for some people they're like you know I choose not to do this for this life that's fine the gift is given it's not received I'm not saying that you have to procreate to be a good human but this is what makes things grow is the urge to duplicate so there's a law this seems like a good time to say it for everybody that's passionate about healing and teaching and helping others there's a law in spirituality that says you cannot go to the next level unless you put a student at least one student on the level that you're currently at this is the duplicating principle in action so if I'm like I want to go to the third level of spirituality the only way that I can do that is to bring students to the second level and make sure they get it and make sure I'm not leaving that level abandoned with a vacancy where I used to be you can only Master something by teaching it and in order to go forward you have to help at least one person at least one person get to the level that you're at because when you teach something it's mastered when you articulate it you realize wow I did know this when you don't articulate it or when you try to when the words don't come you realize oh there's something here there's something here that actually needs to be mastered there's something here that needs to be done so many people know but can't articulate articulating and teaching others is the art of self- graduation I am a I am a person I'm not a I I'm not a community person I don't like festivals I grew up in a commune I don't want I don't like tribes like this is not my my way at all so I teach tools for self initiates for people that want to be able to graduate themselves over and over and over again that want to do it themselves that are willing to put in the work if you're a self-initiate you don't you don't blame other people for your lack of progress anytime you're not getting a result you want you're like I take responsibility for this wherever there's responsibility there's power yes I want to do this yes I take this but you have to put somebody this is the duplicating Principle as a it relates to teaching you have to put somebody else at the level you're at if you want to go to the next level so now that we understand what the duplicating principle is we can go back over to this R of creation so all creation we're going to start with where are we and that'll help us explain who are we all creation began at the note do at the note do and the reason why as we talk about this we're working our way down not going do me upwards but DOA is that for this illustration everything came down from God descended from God or the absolute or the unknowable our journey as humans is to try to climb back up the ladder to get as close to God as we can because the closer to God that we get the less laws we live under and I'll explain exactly what laws are here so everything began with the absolute and the absolute is the note do so you guys can see right here on this Tre I'm just going to turn this around for my people on here can you guys see you guys might not be able to see super well but I will try for you anyway okay sorry my friends I got to do this in a way where we can all participate we'll do our best okay so it all began at the note do and as we see here the note do is short for Domina Domina and Domina means God God now this one here God had one law now where there is one law there are no limitations so what does something that have the one thing that has everything is lacking one thing if you have everything you don't have any limitations there's no tension there's no way that you can measure growth because you can't measure growth without limitations if I was trying to inflate a balloon but the balloon didn't have a bar I couldn't see that every breath I was pumping into the balloon was actually growing it I'm just trying to make things happen so there can't be growth without limitations so when there was only one law the absolute said I am going to split myself and this is the only time in the ray of create the the fundamental law the fundamental law of one is that to be one force to be one force you have to have three sides an active side a passive side and a neutral side in order for tension to occur in order for growth to be possible the one the absolute duplicated itself and when it duplicated itself it became three this is the only time in the ray of creation that this happened now this is articulated in the Tre merti and Hinduism also the Trav is the feminine aspect the Holy Trinity this concept of like father son Holy Ghost what this is saying what this is pointing at is that God Oneness goodness love has three Faces Sometimes that face to use the Hindu uh the tri merti sometimes that that faces creating and that's Brahma in the treti Brahma creating loving let's make stuff sometimes that's what God looks like sometimes the face of God is destroying or passive active creating passive destroying and that's the god Shiva for balance to occur in life balance is not to balances three a triangle distributes weight equally so sometimes God is creating Brahma sometimes God is destroying Shiva and sometimes God is neutralizing Vishnu now when we're stuck in the game of religion this is why so few people Awakening when things are going good you're like that's God that's God on my side baby and then you don't get your way and you go there's a devil at work here there's a devil at work here this is so wrong and you don't see a third Force you're like God devil God devil when things don't go your way God is still at work because sometimes God is destroying when things go your way sometimes that I'm sorry not sometimes when things go your way that's also God at work and when things go away that you were not not expecting whatsoever game Cher that is God at work so when you understand that the it to understand God to understand the concept of God you have to know that God has three sides when you know the three faces of God you see the face of God in all things what would your life look like if you saw the face of God in all things what would your life look like if in every conflict you saw the face of God the anagram this symbol is called the face of God so the one Domina split itself into three so that tension could be present so that things could grow active sperm passive egg neutral womb if we have an active symbol a passive symbol and a neutralizing symbol we can create anything in order to create any anything like Tesla said if you know the magic of the three the six and the nine the three the six and the nine you have the key to the universe this is how you can create anything because the fundamental law of creation was that you need three forces so the one Domina became three the note C now C is short for sedarius Orbee and we know this word sedarius from like siderial astronomy or astrology siderial my my astrologist friends say that astronomy is not astrology and they won't recognize siderial as being real um but that's another conversation for another day on the ray of creation we see that this sedarius Orbee corresponds with this place on here called all worlds so this is all possible worlds un unobservable Universe all possible worlds all possible galaxies all possible organisms all possible things this is the note C on the octave now in this realm there are only three laws this is kind of like only having to ask three people for permission to do what you want to do if we scroll down we see that here we are Earth with 48 Laws not that's a lot of people to ask we'll get there but in this world in the note C all worlds there's only if you get three three people an active person a passive person and a neutralizing person to sign off on your plan you can create anything manifestation can happen with just three pieces of clearance now these three laws will come with us these are laws that we live under here on Earth these three laws will be applicable to all levels on the ray of creation from the microcosm to the macrocosm everything that is not the absolute God has to abide by this threefold principle active passive and neutralizing you want to create anything try and find out what's the active passive and neutralizing principle here like a light bulb we have the bulb where it takes place that's neutral that's what brings the two forces together beneath it we have the filament which is passive it's receiving the electrical charge and then we have the electrical charge itself Act passive neutralizing if you can identify these components in all things you can create anything and if you can identify the three forces anytime you're in a state of conflict literally anytime for example you're like Palestine and Israel what's going on here well where are Palestine and Israel fighting they're fighting on Earth they're fighting on Earth and on Earth mixus Orie there is conflict this is just a part part of what it is there's no controlling that that's just what it is when we get down to the mix to Orie that'll make a bit more sense so the note C was like cool I love being all worlds but now I want to duplicate myself I have a duplicating urge so I am going to birth or duplicate a new realm and this realm is going to have my three laws plus three of its own and this became the no law so la is short for lactus Orbee and lactus Orbee anyone that's a vegan knows lactus milk Milky Way Milky Way is the world of all suns so all suns is different from all worlds but it's all the different solar systems that exist within our galaxy lactus Orbee everything in the lactus Orbee has six laws three that came from all the way from the top and three of its own lactus Orby was like I love this all son's life I love these six laws but now I have the urge to duplicate myself so the note lot duplicated itself and created the new note which is called soul soul means sun the sun has six laws that came from the note above and three of those laws came from the note above and six laws of its own so it just duplicates from Three Laws to six laws from six laws to 12 laws the sun was like I'm loving this life 12 laws sick I want to duplicate myself the note Soul gave birth to the note fa the note fa represents all of the planets that revolve around the Sun 12 laws from the Sun 12 laws of its own and this is the note fa and Fa is short for fatum fatum now all the planets have 24 laws now why are the planets called fate because our planets determine Our Fate the function of humanity is to translate planetary influences and send them to the note below so that it can duplicate all planets want to duplicate themselves all of these worlds want to duplicate themselves so they can go up higher the Earth wants to be a planet one day the planet wants to be the sun one day the sun wants to be an all Sun but in order for them to go higher they have to put someone at the level they're at the Moon becomes an Earth One Day the Earth becomes a planet one day the planet becomes a sun one day so everyone's trying to climb higher to God from the microcosm to the macrocosm now the planets determine Our Fate so for example when let's say two planets are crossing imagine you're walking down the street and some random person comes up and starts walking really close to you and you start going oh you know get away You're making yourself small you're creating tension you're getting weird or you're being like what Jupiter being like what Mars you want to go when planets do this when planets get too close to each other it creates big waves of tension on Earth and that's why we have wars that's why we have wars we have Israel we have Palestine happening on Earth Earth is not on the level of the planets Earth translates planetary influences sometimes God creates sometimes God destroys sometimes God is neutral this is just what it is but there's actually no controlling it Wars have existed for as long as humankind has been around and it's never it's never been great really the only way that you can kind of if if you really struggle with war then I recommend really getting into the Bava Gita and really because it's all about someone with struggle Arjuna struggling with being a warrior and the destructive face of God and it's a wonderful book but we all know it from Oppenheimer now you know so 24 laws for the planets planets were like loving this let's have a baby let's duplicate ourselves 24 or bog gave birth to the note me which is Earth by the time we are down at Earth relatively low on the chain of command we have 48 Laws Earth is a wonderful place to be but you have 48 Laws 48 people that have to sign off on your mission before anything can happen 24 laws from the planets 24 laws on Earth and Earth is the note me and me is short for mixus Orie this means the mixed rule humans incarnate on Earth it is one of these 48 Laws we incarnate on Earth to play the mixed rule of Good and Evil on Earth this mixed rule of Good and Evil is the theme in Tantra they say the one became two for the joy of returning to one again we incarnate to experience this Duality the pain of fearing punishment and seeking reward learning the futility of all of it so that we can wake up and get out of this law but every single human being on Earth comes to Earth to play this game of good bad right wrong wrong good bad right wrong and I think that there's no bigger game of Duality than politics I want to make a note here because a lot of people are like well what about social justice Warriors social justice Warriors are very necessary in humanity very necessary for Humanity and social justice Warriors are probably going to be super Satisfied by like dabbling and spirituality but really getting down with like politics and and stuff like that the way of the social justice Warrior is different than the way of the Seeker and the way of the Seeker there's no getting around this I understand that this can be hard to accept but I've tried to fight this I very [ __ ] publicly embarrassed myself for a long time got completely scoped descended in Consciousness under no circumstances whatsoever is the Battle of US versus them or the batt ATT of good bad right or wrong this is never and I repeat never the truth of existence under no circumstances no matter how appetizing the fight might seem and you'll be told by people you have to get involved or you don't care this is not just because they said it doesn't mean it's true you might have to experience this for yourself but ultimately on the spiritual path you're the Observer sometimes God is creating sometimes God is destroying sometimes God is neutralizing I'm going to observe without judgment when you realize how hard it is to observe without judgment you'll realize where the work is it doesn't feel like ah so relax it's hard it's hard to not want to control things so mixus Orbee the note me humans have 48 Laws now beneath us the note Ray Earth says we want to duplicate duplicate ourselves Earth duplicated itself became the note Ray Regina asri Regina asri means queen star Regina queen asri star and the moon has 96 laws now if you're living under 96 laws you have the amount of rights as a mineral you have as much agency as like a as like a rock would who here has seen extremely everything loud at the everything same time that really cool movie that I don't know what it's called but that rock scene such a [ __ ] sick scene but that's what it feel that that existence what's the movie called I I'm like Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close mod modifying it um you have as much rights as a mineral and it would be so nice I'll give you guys very clear drug examples of what each of these what it feels like to be under laws like this um but it would be so nice if we were on Earth and we were just living under 48 Laws usually the thing is is that we have a tendency to impose on ourselves more laws than necessary I'll give you a really clear example I went to the DMV this was the last time that I noticed that this happened and now I'm so like hyper aware well actually it happened to me at the dentist the other day I noticed my little legs were shaking because I get scared at the dentist and they drilled my tooth a lot um but I was at the DM I lived like very far away from the DMV and I had gotten all of my paper work in order and I had gone to get like a new ID and it was my had a brand new baby my ID was expired my passport was expiring like I had to get it done but it was like a [ __ ] three-hour drive to get to the DMV and when I got there the lady told me that I had to have mail with like my street address on it I had had my postage box but in New Mexico so many people live remote and you can't get mail delivered to your actual house it has to be to postage box and she was telling me that there was no way that I could get an ID and I couldn't see any way that I could get the qualifications and I noticed that my hand had CL I was I could only see one way forward and that was to like unleash the Karen I could only see one way I had one option I wasn't a human with 48 Laws and lots of Freedom if you if I take a human and I put them in prison and I say now you have more laws than a free person they can't do anything but I was under self impose laws my hands were shaking my little [ __ ] clenched fists all I could think about was like anger and uh and luckily I remembered myself in that moment and was like holy [ __ ] I'm under a lot of laws here and I managed to to walk away I was so I was so shocked at the degree to which I had disabled myself that luckily I didn't like turn up the Karen but I I was like whoa so a lot of times we put ourselves under way more laws than are even a requirement and when that happens we descend to like Moon conditions Moon conditions so we don't want that so our whole goal of doing work in this method is to try to live under less laws and Everyone is always like oh you know what's the 48 Laws like how do I know these 48 Laws if I told you the 48 Laws assuming that I knew them um they're it's not really written down in a place what all the 48 laws are what is recommended in the fourth way is to just contemplate Three Laws really really well the law of three the law of octaves and the law of time really focus on these three laws because if you just focus on these ones and if you just focus on these ones one of those being the law that comes all the way up from the top it'll it'll put you on the right path but it's so much better to master to to master three than to try and just know them all and say okay cool I know all the 48 Laws now you know it's like it has nothing to do with the 48 Laws of Power but think of how many people you know have read the book The 48 Laws of Power and aren't applying all of these all the time think about all of the laws that you learn from like your human design strategy but you can only really comprehend one at a time it's a lot better to just focus on the on on mastering a few of them because it'll set the other ones right so our whole goal this is the the work that we do in the fourth way the work that we do in regards to like wanting to achieve enlightenment is specifically to get out from less laws so like one of the first laws that you'll get out from under is one called The Law of accident which basically just means that like things happen to you in your life over and over again um now if somebody becomes conscious and gets themselves out from the law of accident let's say let's use this analogy we've got a man rushing through the airport there's long lines at security he's like rushing rushing rushing to get through the TSA he finally gets through someone bumps into him coffee spills all over him he like leave it I'm gonna lift my leave my plane running to the gate with coffee spilled all over himself cup is still sitting in the thing people are shocked around him being like what's going on with this person he makes it on the plane they take off and then crashes and he dies somebody that is not living under the law of accident might show up see that there's a very long line on the TSA and say I'm not going to be somebody that's pushing and shoving God is time I understand the law of time I'm going to be peaceful here and certainly by the time the coffee spilled they would be like this is a universal signal to slow the [ __ ] down you get he gets to his gate the plane has taken off he misses the flight and everyone says it's a miracle it's a miracle so what are Miracles whenever we demonstrate on Earth 48 Laws something that requires less laws people call it a miracle if that person was living under 47 laws he had only gotten out of one law the law of accident he now has 47 governing laws instead of 48 the fact that he missed that plane people would say that's a miracle so it's very that's just the work that we're doing we want to climb out from less laws so what does it feel like to be under laws let's do a little drug tour here 96 laws 96 laws feels like a mineral and to me I know that this is different for everybody but if you've what's a I guess it wasn't ketamine because I was swirling around on that but if you can think of any any trip that you've ever had sometimes is on alcohol or like maybe the first time you smoked weed and you're paranoid and you can't get off the couch you guys nothing's [ __ ] me up more than weed I swear to God getting to but like oh my God level three when I get really [ __ ] up on weed like Edibles it always happens in three this happened to me like three times and I just want to preface this by saying like I've never [ __ ] myself in my life but when I'm really [ __ ] up on Edibles I usually think oh my God I [ __ ] my pants that's like level one oh I [ __ ] my pants I can feel it level level two is like I [ __ ] my pants I can smell it I can feel it that's level two that's not even that bad level three full 96 laws I'm pinned to the couch I've [ __ ] my pants I can feel I can smell it and other people in the room are looking at me trying to figure out what the smell is and that's the [ __ ] 96 laws world that I'm in when I'm pinned to the couch trapped in my own mind and very very concerned very very concerned that I've [ __ ] my pants and other people are aware from it so that's how I would describe 96 laws now 48 Laws on Earth what it feels like to be under 48 Laws is like waking up after really good night's sleep so when you wake up rested this is what it feels like to be under 48 Laws you wake up rested you say oh my God I slept so good what do you want to do today the world is our oyster like this is what living to our rights on Earth should feel like and for me in the past I only used it when I was smoking a lot of weed because that was just my way for a while um I haven't smoked weed in two years almost to the day uh but I used to feel feel like like weed like smoking weed regularly like put me at that 48 Laws all the I used to feel that way um that even if I was having a shitty day that I could smoke weed and feel that like ah what do you want to do today I don't know what do you want to do today so for me that's what that's what we' felt felt like for a while now all planets 24 laws what does it feel like to be a planet what does it feel like to be under only 24 lies cocaine baby cocaine baby not come down cocaine but when you're like what do you you guys want to do we can do anything we want to do let's do it let's make this happen right now oh my God we can make anything and there's just you don't have these additional 48 laws that are like maybe this wouldn't be possible maybe we need to get clearance maybe it's not the best idea to carry a you know discarded Persian rug all the way back across the Williamsburg Bridge to our apartment at four o'clock in the morning like there none of that you're just like onwards like let's do it that's what it that's what it feels like to be under 24 laws to be under 12 laws now this is the least amount of laws that we as humans that we as humans can live under there's a minimum amount of laws that we can live under very few they say that Christ was six laws that I've heard be up for debate but something I haven't heard be up for debate is that 12 laws if we get to 12 laws above us that's like full Enlightenment symbolic realm good to go 12 laws to me because I haven't done heroin but from what I've heard that would be six to me 12 laws feels like mushrooms like right when the mushrooms are first coming up and you see the like interconnectedness of all things and you're like silly and goofy and you're like what this oh look at this thing over here you know and you're you're curious like a little baby and everything is like shimmering and together and you just see how everything works together to make things go that's how I would describe 12 laws and you have really big realizations and stuff it's like because your mind is so fresh like a little baby not pounded down from too many laws on top of you like everything kind of unfolds and and reveals itself in a really beautiful way I've had that experience many a Time the thing about drugs is that they can get you to these worlds but they can't get you back so I'm not talking about like the you know people are like oh well I have direct contact with God every time I take aasa that's not your realization that's just what happens to you when you're high on that plant and that's totally fine it can be really useful but we're talking about not going to a place and coming back we're talking about moving into a new level of Consciousness so that you're on mushrooms when you're washing the dishes when you don't get your way specifically when you don't get your way you're like oo I love this finally six logs is what I imagine heroin feels like for the first like for the first time just the hug your mom never gave you returning to that Oneness returning to the feeling of what it's like to be totally safe totally protected that everything is handled for you that you can just completely surrender and go with and and go with that flow while being overwhelmed with like a sense of everlasting and complete love kind of like the peak of an orgasm the first time you're having sex with somebody that you're super super in love with like that moment of just being completely enraptured in this like pristine moment of the first time you're ever hooking up with someone that you're super in love with and it's great and all things are well in that world for that moment imagine being able to live there fulltime that's the goal so why are humans capable of Consciousness and animals aren't because it's pretty [ __ ] special to be a human but when we talked about how nothing goes from A to B that a shock is required we'll talk more about this in lesson three but I want to leave a little bit of space for questions um a shock is always required between the notes me and Fa or C and do on the anagram that's between this and this me c do over here so I'm sorry C do so because Earth is the note me and all planets are the note fa and this Ray of creation would not continue to duplicate itself after the Moon it keeps duplicating itself on and on into Infinity on and on into Infinity more and more and more so the moon has a new you know 96 to 182 or whatever that is just all the way down it just keeps going down infinitely but by octaves and by duplicating over and over so because a shock is required it because this couldn't go A to B without a shock there's a shock here in between C and do and there's a shock here in between me and Fa and humanity is the shock between Earth and the planets this is the factor Humanity organic life on Earth is the factor that had to be brought in to make sure that this could continue There needed to be something by law that could translate the planetary influences and send them down the line Earth was not capable of doing this on its own so Humanity was brought in and as because this is who we are and what we are that's why we have a chance to awaken so even if you read like really old like the Sumerian texts and stuff about like anky the fish God or what life was like for humans before they became conscious basically just livestock that were here to just TR to basically toil and suffer through planetary conditions to translate those influences and send them to the moon so that things could keep ascending um they talk about about concept of Christ or Enlightenment or Consciousness as being this gift that was given to humans so that wouldn't just have to suffer unnecessarily with no agency in your life that you had this little flame inside of you that if you decided that you wanted more that you were really hungry and thirsty for more that you weren't content with just living the way that you've been living up until this point but that you really wanted to do something different that you could fan this little flame and that it could grow and that you could a sent in that if you did the right work you really could get yourself out of this meth mess and the fourth way it's also worth worth noting that they believe in recurrence and not reincarnation and so at the end of this life you just are born the same day same parents same conditions over and over again like Westworld and when you don't have that flame of Consciousness burning and growing you're you you don't pick up where you left off you just reset over and over and over again with no memory that you've just done this before and that your past is like what's ahead of you but this fire of Consciousness is something that can never be taken away from you so when I say to you study until there's a force in you that nothing can destroy I mean nothing can destroy this work of Consciousness that you do here everything else will be stripped and taken away from you without a doubt but this flame of Consciousness will never be taken away from you and when you graduate out of this you don't keep you get a new option where you don't have to keep any incarnating into this slop over and over again look at your scars you know imagine that you've gotten these every time think about your reaction to World conflict right now what if I told you that this Gaza thing gets you every single time it's not a very happy existence but the fourth way is not a very this is not love and light you guys because nature can't even handle 24 hours of light do I believe that it doesn't matter what I believe it doesn't matter what what I believe it doesn't and truthfully when I was first teaching I wanted to teach all about the mysteries of like God and the mysteries of what was out there now I'm really into just teaching about life like how can we enjoy life more and for me understanding that I can enter a world where true surrender is actually possible and what comes as a result of true surrender is that I don't have to worry about doing things right I don't have to worry about doing things fast I don't have to worry about where I need to go or what I need to be and for some people that have just always been naturally present their whole life this might not seem like an achievement to you but but I've spent basically my whole life worrying I've spent basically my whole life trying to do things right i' my life was super [ __ ] painful and it wouldn't stop being painful and I really wanted to not experience that I had heard I'd seen Miracles I had seen unexplainable things I'd seen people transcend I saw people with peace I saw people that weren't like thrashing against the flow I just didn't know how to do it and no matter how much I meditated it wasn't getting me results no matter how much I did Kundalini Yoga it wasn't getting me results no matter how many books I read it wasn't getting me results but then I started doing the type of work the fourth way which is called The Way of the sly one it's a sneaky way you can awaken while keeping your mind your body and your desires but you're going to have to take a very very hard look at what the reality of this combination of your mind your body and your desires actually looks like and it doesn't look as spiritual as you think it does it's horrifying to be honest but when you realize that like you aren't the person that you think you are and what you hate most in the world is usually the stuff that looks and behaves just like you then you can change and when you change where not just change when you transform when you become a different person because you've seen the reality of who you are and you really really want to awaken you have opportunities in life that were never presented to you before you're living under less laws you don't have to worry that all the stars need to align perfectly for you to get what you want you just you you do your duty for the sake of doing it great and things that are so much better than you could have ever manifested sort to show up at your doorstep like things so much better than you could have ever planned for yourself show up at your doorstep and you realize like man all these things I thought I wanted were so wrong for me you can be initiated into this flow that you realize has been moving all the time that the same thing that makes the Milky Way Spin and the way that it spins is a flow that's passing through your life and due to your own just not knowing it was there or not knowing how to be a part of it or fear or or thinking that you were already there that you've been like outside of something that really wanted to take you for a ride but for whatever reason you just couldn't let the universe twirl you in that way and for really good reasons you know you were hurt you were scared you didn't get results you didn't know how you weren't educated you didn't know that this was a thing like so many reasons but there's this poem by RKA and I I used to be like a full-on nihilist like no God whatsoever very wouldn't look at the stars want to look at grains of things nothing that could lead to any type of quantum thinking like who are we why are we here what is life I I just wouldn't let myself go there because I was so afraid of of becoming to devoted by by something and and joining a cult like my parents did that like it really hurt it really hurt to be the the child of parents that made those choices and I came across this poem um it was given to me and I didn't understand like what it what it me so I would just recite it to myself when I was running I was running over the bridges a lot in the city at the time and it a poem by Riner Maria RKA and he said I I live my life in widening circles that reach out across the Earth and I don't know if I'll complete this last one but I give myself to it I have been circling around around God the primordial Tower I have been circling for thousands of years and still I don't know am I a falcon am I a storm or am I a great song my son's name is Riner what this poem means to me I didn't know what it meant but I would just chant it to myself over and over again I am part of a very big system I am a very very small but to me very meaningful piece of existence and now that I realize how small I am in the chain of command now that I realize like I don't even know if I'm going to complete this last circle of my life that I've been going around and around I don't even know if I'm going to complete this but I surrender to it I surrender to the flow that is my life because now I know this whole time I've been circling around God that's the constant God is so big so great so massive I'm done even theorizing about what that is I don't need to have a personal like I used to have like a boyfriend girlfriend relationship with God you know like oh you like me right oh you're so cool oh I know this thing about you oh did I check in today sorry I didn't text you this very like human relationship with something so massive but now that I know what it is that I've been circling around like I don't need to know that anymore I've been circling around God the primordial Tower and I've been doing it for thousands of years so now I get to answer this question for me who am I am I a falcon I I I know what God is now so am I a falcon am I a storm or am I a great song this is the Journey of life that I'm on where I get to do what it is that I love so much which is study really complicated things that cost a lot of money and then just like radically tear down down the gates and I be like this needs to be available for more people so I'm going to give you guys one piece of homework and then we'll do a and then I can stay later for Q&A I I don't mind doing a two-hour session but I don't want to keep you learning for longer than 90 minutes so if we have questions we'll do them here but psychological tests this I'm giving this to you but receiving it is going to be on you the biggest block to Consciousness is believing that you're already there believing that you're already there so in order to be able to be taught you have to really want to wake up and the best way uh or the most jarring way to do this is I want you to commit to observing yourself for this next week and what I want you to observe in yourself is if it's possible for you to even go one week without telling a lie to even go one week you're spiritual right you're spiritual you're awaken shouldn't be hard right should be hard just just do this little thing just do this little thing and see if you can do it no lying to your boss no lying to your children no white lies no black lives no embellishments no telling stories that aren't yours just the truth just the truth no flow can you not tell a lie for seven days Scorpio stellium and all can you not tell a lie for seven days because if you can't tell a lie for seven days we got some [ __ ] work to do and that's okay when we become poor in spirit saying oh my god I've got some work to do we'll be we'll get everything that we want but when we're rich in spirit when we're walking around being like I'm already awakened I don't even need to try this lying homework because I already know I always tell the truth in every situation I tell the truth no I've even caught myself lying the other day because I just started this homework but this guy was like he said I'd been on the pafi too long and I was like no I just breastfed until I was 13 years old which is a [ __ ] boldfaced lie and I know you know fine okay it's funny I'm not saying that it's bad to lie it's just that we consider ourselves to be very honest very spiritual very holy you know we're so good right like and when you're when you realize that you can't even meet the super basic requirement the super basic requirement of not telling a lie it's like cool sarcasm isn't the truth yeah they say that Jesus never laughed like laughing is your mind trying to comprehend if something is like a yes or a no people like scientists were for the longest time couldn't figure out you know why do people laugh it's so weird it's like involuntary you're shaking you're making like a weird noise and the fourth way to explain it like it's just anything else but it's your mind trying to comprehend if something is a yes or a no so it's like somebody slipping and eating [ __ ] on the ice you're like oh my God no that's so wrong oh my God yes that's so funny like and comedy is such a good thing to watch as well if you're struggling with the conflict you know because comedians will always take a stab at it it's like the best news to watch I think but that it's it's your body trying to categorize something is this a yes for me or is this a no and you will laugh until you can file it away safely in your mind that was funny so if you're into advertising using humor and ads will create a lot of replays in the person's mind but they say that Jesus never laughed which you know is probably why he only had 12 followers but he uh but Jesus was in Integrity there was nothing that was on the edge is this a yes or a no for that cool so now we can do some questions go ahead I'm going to be taking questions from Zoom today we'll be doing questions here for the next 25 minutes so just go ahead and you need to have your camera on but if you could raise your physical hand so I can see you Olia please go ahead uh hi so uh thank you I've been studying with you for this past few months and it's been amazing I highly recommend to everybody yes I'm so excited and you know the way I came to you was really through having a vision of initiation initiation initiation and then I just started like questioning initiation what is this I've heard this word before but it never really clicked and so once it clicked and I saw your website and I was like [ __ ] who is who the [ __ ] is this person I was like oh my God no okay and I'm all love and light and you were like all dark and red and stuff so this was really really cool and I'm so glad to have known you you're my teacher I I I I'm very honored to be here and last night I was like studying and meditating and just reading and I have these books here of alchemy and mysticism so I started really like reading through them and like you say you know we start developing this uh awareness Beyond symbols and I had this book for three years and I never got anything of it but I got something yesterday which was like Magnus Opus and I would love to hear your intake and if it's from a lesson from far away let us know but I'm very curious about it right now what's a magnum what's a magnum opus yeah like because there is the rubo whatever negredo of and because I'm also I think you know writing a book about alchemy like how to alchemize uh my pain into poetry uh this is coming up because it's Alchemy I'm like what is alchemy what is it what is the the whole than magnopus got it thank you for your question I love this question so Alchemy super cool lineage and I'm not like the most versed in just you know the the basics but Alchemy is the process of turning lead into gold or for from taking the to to go all the way through the octave from the bottom D to the top D and I believe now look there's people I know a lot of people that know more about alchemy than I do um Twitchy Witch is a good example of somebody that teaches a lot about alchemy this isn't what I know the most of but what I know from my studies is and just from the way that we use magnum opus is like this is your great achievement this is your big this is like I I think Opus in in music is it's like your greatest achievement if somebody's working on their magnum opus this is like the big result from your alchemical turnover not like a little one where it's like oh you know when I went from my 20s into my 30s I had you know this Awakening but really like the transformation that took you from a piece of lead and you can't transform a piece of lead if you already think it's gold if you're holding something that's lead and you're saying oh this is gold no matter what anybody else tells you it cannot be alchemized we can't take it from the base elements into the highest vibrational thing that that that we can create which is not possible so we have to know that we're working with lead before there's even a chance that it can be alchemized but I believe that my magnum opus in life I believe that what I'm here to do I was told two things that it was to to help people the wheels reinvented work childhood trauma and the chakras and then that there was another piece that I was supposed to do on uh on teaching people about Tantra and time and that's the workshop autoerotic wealth but it's going to take me years uh it took years to get wheels reinvented to where it is right now to the point that it can go off in book form and I believe that Wheels reinvented was like my first magnum opus and it took a lot um autoerotic wealth and erotic wealth boasts are going to take a lot it's going to take years and years of me doing this and refining it and clarifying it until it'll be at a level where where it can go to the masses in book form like having to do these processes with so many people so and both of these represent big long alchemical shifts that happened with me for Wheels reinvented it was the Journey of going from like can a Healer heal themselves and is there a way to heal from a messed up childhood without therapy is there a way to start this and be done with this and it took me several times of doing it because as a teacher you have to master and it's amazing the last little things that were kind of pulled away at this last moment to really be ready to to bring it to the public and the the the opportunities that arrived really letting me know like [ __ ] it's go time like this is ready now let's go because the interesting thing about second level is that you're not always worried that like the universe is blocking you you understand that the the face of God is sometimes destroying the face of God is sometimes creating and the face of God is sometimes neutralizing and so a lot of times like when we are in the first level or trying to get God to like us or whatever because we're in that like bfgf relationship with it uh every time we get blocked or we hit difficulty we're like oh it's a sign that I'm not supposed to be doing it and if it's your magnumopus like it's your destiny you have to make it work because you have to you have to make it work because it has it doesn't matter how difficult it is it doesn't matter how hard it is it doesn't matter how on your own you feel like you are with it if you got to do it you got to do it because you must because this is your life because this is your magnumopus because this is your destiny so I there's a really good chance that I butcher that like I said I'm not sure what I'm not an Al an Alchemy expert but I did just buy the cabalian so um maybe after I read that I'll I'll have a bit more it's been cool picking up some of these older short shorter books like The Emerald Tablets of thought and stuff and and reading them with a a freshened up mind it's been been really cool um but to me that's just what magnum opus means uh can I relate that to purpose can I relate the Magnum op yeah because it's my because that is my purpose no so I would say that the magnum opus is the achievement the achievement of all of your efforts so like if I'm actively in the stage of writing a book and I hope it's going to be my magnum opus there's a really good chance that even by the time it's done and released that it could be a flop and that no matter how much I really want to be done with it or not have to run Wheels reinvented again or write this book or do a first second and third draft of something which I definitely felt like I was above um to me the magnumopus is the achievement of it but here's the thing is like you can have a purpose and give up on it all the time because it's hard like we believe that we should just go from A to B I put my writing outfit on and made a writing desk the book should come right oh the book's not coming I'm not supposed to maybe I should manifest it oh it's not manifesting I guess it's not for me like purpose it's something that you return to like over and over and over again and you're committed to bringing it to this level of Magnum Opus not just the level of like completed I'm done with it now on to the next thing but really seeing it all the way through and making sure that it succeeds and that it gets into the hands of the people that need it to me to me that's what it is um to me that's what it is now I'm not an I'm not an Alchemy expert but to me that's what it is so I hope that that answers your question and then I saw somebody else put a question in the chat um I'm gonna I'm going to do raised hands answering questions please with your actual hand I'll put it on video and I'll make sure to go through the different rooms on here um but somebody had just put in the chat so what do I do after the lying homework is done come here we have Thursdays at 11: Eastern we're meeting here for class I don't do a lot you guys will get reminders for these first two calls but anyone that's in my school knows I don't do reminders replay we put up as soon as possible by the next day at the absolute latest but Thursdays at 11: standing date we are here we're getting this done so next Thursday's class is also free we have some cool stuff let me just show you guys what we have um for the next class tomorrow we are studying um whoops tomorrow what is Enlightenment what are the four centers the issue of IE versus it how did we fall asleep how can we awaken the line of knowledge the line of being duplicating principle we already covered what are Miracles where are we going and a game that I like to call woke bingo so you guys will definitely love these you'll definitely love this one hey Eva um okay so I saw Emily had just raised her hand I'll try and go through these questions quickly 12 pages of Zoom you guys I'm having a great time here I love this okay and so I'll go on to the next page so go ahead and take yourself off and mute Emily hi Wendy oh wow I'm surprised um so you talked about having a living teacher to initiate right so what is the role I am being contacted by multiple spiritual teachers when I um and what is the role of a spirit guide I feel like I'm getting down loads from Spirit guides where I'm learn some of what you're teach you're teaching is matching the information that's coming in so what is that role versus a living teacher okay so I love that um and also just disclaimer if spiritual teacher a a spiritual teacher attracts students to them they don't cold call so if it's ever anybody in your DMs or anything like that they haven't figured it out because this magnetic force pulling on other people's magnetic Center this is how legit teachers get students it's not cold calling it's none of that and if you guys want to see something you guys can go and look at the the dream ads story highlight on my page of all these people saying that I came to them in dreams and we're like I'm to school and they're like okay uh now every single teacher began as a human even Jesus started his teaching he started his initiation really really young with the aines and they talk about that in the Bible they just don't really like you know it's like oh well if he's the son of God shouldn't he be like hover crafting and not have to go to school but it's even in the regular Bible it's really evident that he was trained and I love you know if you if you grew up religious and discarded it that's still a valuable foundation and when you understand the like the the deeper meaning all of this stuff that you remember from your childhood will open up in a way that's useful and not in a like you know doomsday is coming way that is that is not useful um but all of these different teachers had spiritual Awakenings had downloads had Revelations and this is just that's the welcome to the spiritual path baby and what you do with that is is your destiny that's your gift like I wasn't initiated when I started doing Wheels reinvented I was it was7 2017 when it all came together and I had just been the chakras for a really long time once I started um studying childhood trauma and how to repair it I was like oh that's cool and then I was asking questions like you know this is pretty inconvenient why does it have to be this way I have to wait until I'm struggling to be able to get to the bottom of it um how do I know when I'm done and as a result you know I was just in my kitchen one day and it hit me like a sack of bricks like you need to do it like this a voice came in the kitchen just as clear as anything and I was like you know what what's this but said you're going to teach two workshops shops that alter the course of humanity the first one's on childhood trauma and the chakras and the other one is on Tantra and time space and I was just thinking actually in the bathroom today like [ __ ] what happens when I'm done with that Workshop like I am I GNA like panic and be like well what's my destiny now because it took seven years to achieve the first one and now but but now I'm working on a publishing company so hopefully hopefully I never get to the top and I'm like [ __ ] what am I doing here um everyone has Awakening but what a teacher helps you do it a teacher initiating you from one level of Consciousness to the next helps you to get comfortable think about when you went through your first Spiritual Awakening and how much easier it would have been for you if there was somebody there and this isn't typical for that first Awakening but how much easier it would have been for you I've got to go to gallery view because I know you guys will resonate with this that first Spiritual Awakening where it's like grippy socks status if there was somebody there that was like this is normal don't worry about it just keep going this way don't [ __ ] check yourself into a psych wward not necessary don't worry about the lack of sleep maybe Chill on the weed for a little bit if it's working for you or if it's not working for you but ground ground ground and you'll get through it like as a new level of Consciousness is being downloaded into your brain like software the hardware your your being the way that you are the way that you're operating there's a lag that can be really uncomfortable you're in one world over here you're in one world over here here and what a teacher helps you to do is is make that transition is make that transition and help you to realize and identify the way that your being is in congruent with your thinking because all of us know got to drink more water all of us know what to do but understanding and applying it is super different so so many people are like well I don't need a teacher to go from Duality into Oneness because I intellectually know that Oneness is the truth of existence but the problem is that digestion being able to take something that you know but apply it to your life on a caseby Case basis a teacher that's initiating you will be like yeah don't pay attention to that don't get involved with this conflict no this is the way and a a teacher at this level it's just a signpost it's just a signpost so if I'm holding a sign that says Las Vegas is 200 miles this way someone can come and shake their fist at the sign post all they want but the signpost is like I'm just a signpost Las Vegas is 200 miles this way if you choose to go any other direction totally fine but I've been there and I've also been the wrong way and I know that it's this way so I'm just going to stand here holding the sign pointing that way because that's the function of a teacher now why does it have to be a living teacher is because the times are it always feels like we're in original times and that maybe these things were true then but are they true right now like maybe we shouldn't get involved but when we're actively witnessing a genocide shouldn't we get involved isn't this reason to get involved right now a living teacher helps you to understand that the same age-old truths are still true today are still true today and I know that this was my experience I know that this was a lot of other students of mine experience as well of even coming across sacred texts like Advanced books when they were really young and reading and being like wow this is cool but not really understanding how to apply it until much later on in life typically you can be exposed to these things the same way that there's parables in the Bible that you know and you can even chew on and be like what does this mean but it doesn't really open up for you until a living teacher opens that door it's an oral tradition passed down with with sound current teacher is here to kind of modify it until it's something that that you can understand and then once you have that like the second that I had the door open for me which I told you about the teacher that initiated me in email um when I had that door open for me all of the sudden I could study books and I did understand and I'll never really be able to explain how that was because I remember when I first started working with her she told me to pick up the book The Fourth Way by PS Bensky and I did and it was like I just could not get through it I would literally like read I could read the same page over and over and not remember that I had read that page like it wasn't sticking and it was really frustrating me because I was like what are you talking about I don't know what the [ __ ] you're saying and so I had to hear it in contemporary language and like the as we become more and more I don't want to say fussy because that's not it but as our standards for how we want to be spoken to as a collective becomes higher and higher even simple facts like like the fact that all these spiritual texts were written for men only that they only talk that there's no like women involved in it all this would even be a barrier to entry for for somebody that has a that that's fussy about something like that me I don't care now I care a bit more but but that might be cause for somebody to just throw out the book Al together to be like you know why isn't why isn't this for women as well and the reason why it's not is because you're here to change that you're here to speak it in your language and be that representation and be that living teacher because your students can only hear from you and teachers I really want you to be aware of this stop recommending books to other people stop if somebody's asking you how do I do this it's okay to tell them I don't know but I'm going to to find out but telling them oh go read this book or go do this this is you being lazy as a teacher that's not going to give them the result they're asking you they need to hear it from you it doesn't matter if everybody else has said this before they need to hear it from you and if you really struggle with this is like is there original thought can I be an individual then then practice singing mantras put on any Mantra that you can find and sing along with it and when you realize that like your voice contributes something new to this old old ass thing no matter how you think it should or shouldn't sound this will help you to get comfortable speaking they need to hear it in in your language so and and then I get asked this question a lot but it's it's a good way to to close out this answer my criteria for a teacher for finding a teacher is super super simple and I think that this will be useful for you criteria number one have they been where you want to go have they been where you want to go we are not ever you know weighing and measuring teachers by what it is that they're saying because anyone can give you a charismatic pitch about why them but watching how they behave especially in times of conflict also looking into you know the quality of their life if they're constantly complaining about being you know overworked or over tired they seem drained they seem angry I I think a really good question is to ask you know were they were they happy were they happy did they seem happy because this is is a very special life that we're living and did they seem like they were having a good did they get a kick out of all of this so I find really good teachers usually have a pretty good sense of humor Romos I think is is hilar is absolutely hilarious but every time I listen to Too Much rumos I always want to get on the path of the renunciate and like stop working and stop charging for my work and people really need to people don't value what what they don't pay for it's just you're not going to wear if you get you know the fanciest pair of underwear you're not going to wear them when you're on your period unless you're being like I deserve it because how you treat something that's expensive and valuable is different than how you treat something that that was cheap you know you wear your little I don't have any underwear so I don't know but people treat things differently when they value them another example is like you could be sitting at a bar and some freaking person missing five teeth next to you is like you know you got to love yourself and you're like shut shut up you know it doesn't gift is given not received but you'll go and pay a coach $700 for an hour and they'll tell you the same thing and you're like oh okay the difference is though is the teacher will be able to tell you when you're like well how do I love myself if I hate myself how do I love myself if I hate myself anyone here want to know how to love yourself if you hate yourself don't try to love yourself don't try to love yourself throw the word love like out of your vocabulary because real love is not wanting to change something or someone so just focus instead of trying to love yourself just try to accept yourself I want you to take pictures of the exact like the the problem areas of your body that you don't like and I want you to set them as the background of your phone and look at them until you can think you know it's kind of cute kind of cute in a way I could see how that's kind of cute if you ever take an ugly selfie don't throw it away force yourself to look at it until you can find a way of being like you know kind of cute this kind of cute is accepting this is who I am what if you didn't have to change anything about who you are or how you are what if you just had to accept this is who I am and this is how I am don't try and love yourself love is like it's hard but accepting loving something I'm un conditionally is the same as accepting something and it's the same as forgiving something all three of these things unconditional love forgiveness and acceptance are the same thing accepting that people are how they are things were how they were and you are how you are and that's just how you are and that's just how you are and you say okay well if I accept that I've got like you know Mom Pooch or whatever doesn't that mean that I'm going to have it forever the miraculous thing is that it's only when you accept something that you can change because when you resist something it stays in front of you like an opponent that you're always battling it with the second you accept something it becomes a part of you if you accept the whole world you don't have opponents anymore that's the value of Oneness we're all on one side nothing can be against you if you don't have any opponents there's no reason why you can't get what you want there you just have to work you just have to work and that's okay we love work but the second you accept something about yourself it's only then that it can be that it can be changed we'll do one more question if it's a if it's a quick one I'm on 50 I'm on 59 but what I'm going to do is I'm going to go specifically to okay where I'm at the second page of video here right now go ahead and raise your hand if you're on this page you want to ask a question okay cool I've got no one on the second page let me go to the first page anyone want to ask a question okay EA of course with your baby of course go ahead hi he's not happy right [Music] hello H that's okay baby that's okay it's here the thing is here it's here it's here it's here it's here okay your little piece of paper your little piece of garbage he's getting frustrated and that's okay I'm not wearing any pants so I can't stand up um uh you mentioned in your in the newsletter I think about um about when you learned the 48 laws that you sort of instantly eradicated anxiety from your life I can definitely I can definitely speak to this little bit now I definitely um is that is that the question do you want to add anything else to this yeah I want to know this what's your secret yeah no problem I can definitely help you out with this so when I when I was in a position very similar to you my business had was doing okay I was a mom to a new baby and everything was going pretty well I was just constantly overwhelmed with anxiety that my kid was going to die that my husband was going to die and I had anxiety in every possible location like driving down the street semi Tru is going to hit us going out outside there's going to be a snake like there was every single I I I just couldn't enjoy my life because I was so fraking anxious about what was going on around me and that and and how it would impact and I felt very validated in this because I had lost my fiance and so I would you know when my husband was like don't be anxious I was like well easy for you to say because you've never lost somebody that you love and I have and so I'm scared that that that's going to happen again and the first of the 48 laws that I learned of was the law of imagination and the law of imagination says that imagination isn't real imagination isn't real no matter how spontaneous the imagination was no matter how much of a premonition it might seem like no matter how much it seems to parallel things that have happened in the past imagination isn't real and the law of imagination is that you never imagine yourself succeeding if you imagine yourself succeeding we call it visualization it's hard we hardly ever do it we have to like wait for the right moon phase to do some visualizing whereas imagination happens like a hell ride spontaneously and takes you on this like roller coaster that you don't know isn't real and it's hard because spiritual people will be like oh no it's real you know it's it's a premonition this is definitely going to happen and then we can become hostile towards people that aren't as worried as we are about things that that aren't real so just because you imagined it doesn't make it real just because you imagined it doesn't make it real but this is how imagination develops and and we don't love the imagination in the fourth way because it's so different from visualizing so different from visualizing and so they just to to differentiate if you have like an einsteinian attachment to the word imagination that that's not relevant here visualizing positive imagination imagination on its own is anxiety for the most part when knowledge exceeds being it becomes imagination and IM imagination is kind of like a fungus or an infection of the mind because it can just pop in whenever take over whenever put you into a mineral state where you're shaking and scared and you can't absorb your surroundings you can't receive help because your brain's got you all like rattled up and how this develops is when you've taken in too much information but you haven't changed your behavior so like as a new mom this is no fault of yours but as a new mom you know you're constantly taking in so much information about how to raise these kids things that could happen to kids did you know that kids choke on grapes and hot dogs did you know that water is for kids you know that you can't give honey to kids you know that if you do this they're going to be traumatized you know and you're taking in so much information without experience really like being able to live in it and see what works for you and what doesn't work for you so when so much is ingested at a rate that's so much faster than you could apply it it becomes imagination and Imagination just torments you so once once I learned that this that I didn't need to pay attention to imagination because it's not a good it's not a premonition it's not telling me it's not mentally preparing me mentally preparing is basically like validated anxiety you know giving yourself these permission slips to just stress the [ __ ] out about something I would just have to say to myself imagination isn't real I would have to say it to myself out loud when I was fantasizing a mountain line breaking through our fence when I was worried that you know oh was there honey and the yogurt that my kid ate as he dyed I thought that both of my kids were DEA for like three weeks which is a very strange imagination and kind of hard you know if you're doing like hearing tests on newborn babies that are asleep all the time like I had a lot of anxiety but imagination isn't real and to bring it even broader because this was something the the teacher that I worked with that initiated me she had lost her daughter to SIDS and that was one of the main reasons why I wanted to work with her because I was like how could you possibly talk about God at all after losing a child to SIDS but she explain she she told me that and and I'm going to tell this to anybody that's experienced a big loss in their life when you're on your path crazy [ __ ] doesn't have to happen to you so I wasn't on my path with my fiance that died and I knew it I wasn't on my path and I knew it and I I knew it the whole time but I didn't know how to leave she said that as a mother at that stage in her life she was not on her path and she knew it she had a the the being a mom to her baby that she had lost was going to become her whole world and she wasn't doing the work that she knew she needed to do and there was some other stuff going on at the time as well which isn't isn't my story to tell but horrible things happen to get you where you're supposed to be and if you look back in your life and you see that like all of these horrible things have actually put you exactly where you needed to be to do the things to receive the things that you have now that's why they had to happen but when you're doing your thing the universe would the I used to fear that if I like surrendered to the universe that the first thing that would happen would be like my kids would die which tells a lot about the type of God that I was believing and I said I believe that God is love but when it comes to surrendering to that God that God that I was conditioned with in Duality was coming out the type of God that wants you to sacrifice your children my children help me do my job my children are a part of my destiny my husband is a part of my destiny Financial stability is a part of my destiny because the more the happier the healthier the better cared for the more peaceful all of these conditions are in my life my family my finances my sense of home all of this the more peaceful these things are the better work I do now if something happens to one of my children one day I used to say like God if anything happens to my children I'm out I don't have this is my contract with God yes everything else is blank there's not literally not one thing that I would say no to and no matter what happens I will deal with it no matter what happens I will continue on my path no matter what happens I won't drop this work because I'm committed I'm committed but my belief in a God that would kind of get off on putting me through pain and Agony just for the sport of it that's not a God that I believe in anymore so let's just recap these facets you can reduce the amount of anxiety in your life by reducing your intake so stop parenting books don't watch parenting Tik toks don't watch any of the the parent if it's anxiety in relation to your your kid like stop stop taking it in and just let yourself be a primal let it's innate this mothering journey is innate if you're anxious about conflict in the world stop taking it in when knowledge exceeds understanding it becomes imagination imagination is a pain in the ass when you catch yourself mid imagination say out loud to yourself imagination isn't real IM and sometimes you have to say it a few times imagination isn't real but you don't know that it's not real that's why you're watching it horrified and be like oh my god do they have the terminal illness that I don't know about and then the last step is that yes horrible things have happened to you in your life yes that's true but they put you on your path and you're on your path now are you doing what you love are you doing what you love that's your path are you not doing what you love that's not your path now you can go or be dragged but you came here to do what thing you can fight your whole life doing the thing that you love and your whole life will feel like a fight plenty of people live this way but if you know that you're supposed to be living in a different way and you're not doing that go or be dragged but if you're at the point where you're conscious that you're here to do a thing and you're not doing it you'll get dragged now I'm not of course as a new mom you know it's it's not career time but my kids if it wasn't for my kids I would have never learned how to be a successful business person on a very small amount of time I would have just done what everybody else around me was doing which was selling all their time raising it was really hard for me to work with my coach at that time because I had a baby she had like a team of nannies and I would get updates from her you know every now every now and then being like Oh guess how much I charge now guess I'm after I charge now and 50 Grand you know for 12 sessions and and I I felt like it was you can't repay a teacher in 10,000 lifetimes but I felt like that was pretty [ __ ] expensive and I I don't like that the whole world needs it and so few can get it uh but it was really hard for me to watch somebody just selling more and more oneon-one sessions while knowing that I physically couldn't do that because I had to be with my baby all of the time and I getting a nanny was like out of the question for me it was hard for me uh to not do what other people were doing especially when I felt like they were kind of waving it in my face of like look how successful I am like don't don't you wish you were doing this but with time it worked out really well so it's not like you're choosing between motherhood or career motherhood is teaching you how your career doesn't need all the time that you've thought it needed in the past 90% honing it mentally 10% acting on what's been honed all right you guys 111 I hope that that answers your question I just need to see your face and see if that made you feel any better where you go where's where's where's she at is she here where'd she go I know I know her from classes and cl there you are you feel a little bit bit better I know okay cool um definitely shoot me an email if you but I i' I've been there just even if it feels crazy we just did the Monty Pur Tru where the other day and I was telling people about this like anxiety steamroll I went down where the the white people one and you guys are on Wheel I'm not g to tell this whole story again but in time you'll be able to laugh at the [ __ ] crazy video your mind is showing you and be like it's gonna happen and you're like this is so out of pocket like this is so Random like where how the [ __ ] did I take one I'll just tell you guys somebody somebody made a comment on Instagram I don't even think it was on one of my videos uh but but a lady spelled spelled white people white people w y p i poo and I thought it was so funny like I thought it I was like this is the funniest word that I've ever read in my whole life but then I was I I had a coffee which is always good if I have a coffee and I'm not allowed to move around I'll get all of that energy just like implodes into anxiety in my head and so I had had a coffee but my daughter woke up so I was like lying in bed with her while the caffeine surging and my mind was showing me this whole video of how in some other reality I'm walking through the streets of Brooklyn and a little black kid trips and skins its knee and I go to pick up the baby and then the mom screams at me Get Your Filthy white peo hands off my baby and I'm like what and everyone's looking at me and then I lose my career and everyone's like what you know this and and I was trying to help but I ended up hurting and my mind just would not stop on like this video you know and I was by the time I caught it I was like damn like that's that's [ __ ] up that's a really strange so out of pocket what the hell all of this coming from one comment that I saw that wasn't even directed at me and now I'm like tweaking so I laugh that one off and then immediately up comes the next one like what was I worried about oh maybe your daughter has a tooth infection or just some random thing because once I'm anxious once that imagination is going off it just supplies me with more and more options well how about this well how about this well how about this but with time like when I say imagination isn't real the scared feeling goes out of my body the thought is still there but I can watch it to be like [ __ ] it tell me tell me what you think is going down here I want to hear hear the whole story because when I look at it without being identified with it when I'm looking at it like okay my mind is showing me something that's putting me into a state of Terror without being like this is happening or maybe it's going to happen which is what it means to be identified with it it's usually pretty funny like it's usually pretty funny how [ __ ] insane I am and and that's and that's my work so that's a route for today standing date on Thursdays you guys please don't forget your homework of lying I will see you next Thursday at 11: had such a good time being here and we'll see you uh next week for more mesoter thank you so much have a good day