[Music] 300 americans [Music] it's 9.99 thank you it's on the line sir mr president hi henry how are you how's the weather out there weather is perfect a little breezy today but uh like yeah [Music] monkey [Music] hello hello rob uh-huh hi this is kasal miner you're kidding me hello yes this is me how you doing my brother i'm doing good blessed man oh man it's crazy what i've been hearing about you eh anyways there's a piece called why i write i write for men women and children anyone who felt alone anyone who felt the soul see i write for the bones buried in the country i call home i write for you the listener so listen up take a step back can imagine the bigger picture cause i write the real so feel me i write for inner city street kids struggling to find their place in the world too concerned with race i write for the moms and pop shops struggling to stay atop cause the dope boys got the block a lot can't compete with the drama so i write soap operas about single mothers and brothers about the struggle and hustle the bustling city where empty bellies rumble like solid earthquakes we shake hungry like young lions we define the odds praying to god lord give us the strength to carry on so i write to redefine the stars nah none of that hollywood glitz and glam with them stones that [ __ ] man glimmer but some of that earthy residue that comes through one is being true so i write to the few hoping i get trickled down to the masses i want to spark the world man be reborn in this ashes i want to unfold their glasses and make them see their sons and daughters they are banned to be bastards know that we grow like molasses i point to the north by david jones compass just follow the sounds of trumpets and listen up um where should i begin um 1980 i was born in refugee camp 81 went to the states california southern california grew up out there never knew my dad i made a lot of bad choices bad decisions growing up so at the age of 16 i was already dropped out of school no one could have probably reached me then because i was just too far off i got caught up in a gang fight not gang fight but it was more of a gang war at 16 i was charged and convicted of attempted murder i went to prison ended up fighting life at the age of 16. i went to prison at the age of 16 i did 14 years 14 years in prison after doing those 14 years instead of going home to my family immigration picked me up because i went to the states as a refugee my permanent resident status wasn't permanent at all they stripped that from me did a year in immigration and then a year ago so march 17th i got dropped off parachuted out here to cambodia and i didn't know what cambodia was place i never stepped my foot in i thought you know [Music] i mean did you ever get to go home at all no you kidding no i can't believe america is that cruel brother i'm so sorry that happened to you in 99 i ended up going to solitary confinement i spent a year and a half in the hole i was angry i was lost and then i heard somebody read some poetry and this guy name was marty williams and he read it with such conviction he read it with such feelings wow that is beautiful how do you do that what is that they said well because all that spoken word my man i want that could you please tell marty the things i'm doing out here is for him as well okay so london came around they're gathering the first and largest gathering of performance artists poets from all over the world apparently someone came across my body of work and nominated me and out of like 6 000 poets i was chosen by their committee 204 countries 204 poets and i was asked to represent cambodia am i the best person to represent cambodia in this i don't know that because sometimes i'm i get stuck still thinking i'm still locked up but i'm not i was once locked up somewhere somewhere during that time in new folsom something happened at one point in time [Music] i wasn't locked up anymore something broke started making my path towards freedom [Music] you know how he is he thinks that what he does [Music] yeah i know tommy's an amazing person tell him that keep doing what he's doing keep writing keep keep crying keep getting into that fire [Music] tell me about last night that i was fun so we ended up chilling ended up drinking and we ended up going into the airplane because we have a pool on a rooftop so sleep is tricky i get nightmares nightmare is good for christ sometimes i'll have nightmares that i'm still doing time sometimes i'll get nightmares of me getting killed and sometimes i'll have my dreams of me still being in the states waking up like i'm at home you know and i never really felt that say i wake up like all emotional and stupid stuff and i stay up almost mine was a was an amazing individual he he surprised a lot of people because you know most people wrote him off as just a skinny little kid without much value but once he stood up he was a powerhouse he was uh and he had a lot of respect he was awfully quiet you know he didn't say a lot but then he would get up and do these pieces that were just mind-blowing everybody's you know jaws would hit the floor but he struck me as uh that there was like a volcano burning there there was some some anger and rage and resentment that was just barely being contained most of the time [Music] i feel that shaw has come a long way i see a person going with talent that's so much talent in him so somewhat have made it and then you're just like yo but you got to check out the saw and then console stepped in did this piece felt like the walls in my apartment disappeared i was just like what the [ __ ] that [ __ ] and that i was alone with with him and his truth this guy is just willing just to go do anything this guy is so positive like just ready to go and he just got out like he's been in jail for 15 years that's what i saw in the song and also he's here in cambodia for two months and he's like loving life he had this really quiet spark about him the fire the passion that he possesses is just it's amazing and if he keeps it up he could become somebody bigger and bigger once he started shining the boys don't stop shining he respects you and if he loves you he loves you for you he's representing cambodia x-pac exiles and everyone that's been through some [ __ ] oh well i got a call from the embassy um told me to pick up my documents um hopefully pick up my visa today is good i woke up with all types of colors in my mind man crimson red purplish shoes lavender with a turquoise blue and a tinge of deep amber that softens out the edges just can't help but smile when you look at these kids right here what are we waiting for [Music] [Applause] [Applause] they should have drove slow like all these like no doing something better for ourselves we made a mistake in the states and now we have a second chance [Music] i'm trying to make a difference so my youth wasn't good it wasn't a good youth i didn't had a good view i didn't want anybody to know that i couldn't read it right at the time so i hid all those things from the people i hung around with a lot until i one day i realized that you know what i have to do something with my life i can't depend on people all the time to read this for me do this for me i did 14 years in prison the charger was attempted murder that was the child attempt to murder because of that choice that i've made i'm here today because of that choice i've made i have nothing right now you got it oh he got it you got it he's coming out holding a yellow envelope right now come on yellow hold on yellow envelope so what's up yes no i don't know [Applause] if it's approved or what that's to bangkok right oh i think this is it yep uk entry clearance yep right yep let's do one visa type tier five yep it's been approved that's right let's get approved going to the uk honored and blessed and speechless made it fool you made it you made it from the ground up man round up from the ground up right now rise from the prism rise like the phoenix reborn arkansas he made me happy like okay if he can do that to disagree why can't i do what i need to do to bring my life up this is it entry clearance uk impossible man see that again [Music] i slide right in there once i slide in there they already know that there's problems so now he's grabbing sheets of acid i mean stuff like this flying around everywhere because he's nervous i can see his hands grab the stuff and grab the stuff and go go open up the fridge we the bags open up this weed on the floor he grabs containers oh [ __ ] [ __ ] damn man [ __ ] damn what makes him tougher than us you know at the same time i'm only 17 years old there was no turning back after this i was so nervous um coming to cambodia at first i felt like it's so hard to fit in we can't believe because i'm not i'm not a local and i'm not an expat we're exiled we're in between to me i have no shame of being a deportee i am who i am and i will always be this person i was born in the refugee camp went to the states when i was 5. i was born in 1981 at a refugee camp called kawadan which is in thailand i was i was born in the refugee camps went to the states when i was like three from there we went to uh williamsburg massachusetts you know i would get picked on a little i can't i can be cool with you guys i could be your friend but ain't nobody want to be my friend or i would go sit with the other kids and they would all leave blah [ __ ] this [ __ ] there why are you here what are you doing here you don't belong here i fought with everybody the white boy's done testimony already and then the mexicans want to test me i fought with them then they want to bring guns to school so i had to bring guns to school too if you're 15 16 you see your older guys you know get shot you're gonna try to shoot the next guy too that's all you see in life living through that any kid will go through the same it doesn't matter what race white black asian whatever race you are you're gonna be just like one of us if i was to reverse all that school stuff i reverse it you want to slap me you want to beat me up go ahead man i find nothing else more valuable than education like right now for me i'm very happy to see casa go to london and represent as cambodia and as a deportee it's big it's huge you know i got love for the boys it's just people like exilers that come here and show people how it's done that's it that's with us all going to to london it's that's this is like that flame that extra gasoline it's like i had a bad day and then just having my mind like man you know my boy gasol he's going to london be happy and that like fuels like you know gets me keep on going and opportunities are out there we just have to go out there and get it you know i try to be the best person i can be sometimes i'm not sometimes i'm not the greatest person to be around [Music] i'm a teacher with myself i i'm a volunteer i met him he said he was a spoken word artist and we just like hid it off there it was like fire let's teach some kids to do spoken word in cambodia we're on this we're gonna do this and i'm sure that you guys took the two weeks when i was gone to memorize right we're gonna work with the first spoken word artists local local local youth that are coming from really tough difficult backgrounds right street kids initially we just started off like you know it was fire i'll give you guys five minutes to go over your pieces review it for maybe like the first two or three months it was all good we had tons of energy and then it got harder for him to keep that time commitment when you commit to something when you commit all the way all of a sudden everything becomes easier and then kosal started like showing up late i feel bad every single time if i don't make it to class i know i shouldn't go out the night before class when they ask you know is causal going to show up today not knowing what to say at one point everything was so slow you know and i'm still trying to catch up if this is about us teaching the future generation a spoken word artist in cambodia come out to class damn it these kids are worth it and he never let me like feel down i miss his face and miss his sound i love him when he was ramming and thinking the home the song called home it's been so long since we had a good night again and i hope i'm gonna be strong strong misfit come back and teach me again i can't trust nobody here man say good things about you in front of you because nobody here man then behind you you talk all the smack sometimes you just want to be loved you just want to be accepted i just want to be a part of something [Music] yeah i love that part right there that suck part [Music] [Music] i just feel like the past month and a half two months have been horrible horrible for like i have been feeling like really shitty because i feel very under-appreciated and now it's like i feel like i can't trust nobody here man say good things about you in front of you and then behind you they talk all this smack well how was i supposed to react i just got dropped on a dime it hurts because you let i let people win i give more than i take yeah i can just leave there's so many thoughts that's in my head we're like man you can just leave right now just disappear it looks it was painful so i just took him to uh we just took him to the clinic but as soon as we arrived at the clinic he felt better he has a lot of running through his head and he's confused scared and they kept on thinking one thought rolls over the next one thought rolls over the next we've been down so long we've been locked up so long that we just you know confused in life too over the next one thought rolls over the next and you can't make it stop thinking and use what's love and what's not and who really care about you and who don't one thought rose over the next one thought rolls over the next one thought this is my journey you can judge me you can say all that you want regardless i won't make it back home one day whether it be in flesh and blood whether it be in a pine box one day oh [Music] so today tonight's gonna be the fundraising party for kasal i don't know how many people is going to attend but hopefully a lot of people will come down here to support i know it's going to be a massive party loads of people here um i've got a feeling it's going to be one of the biggest nights we've ever had everybody's coming together and supporting cassandra i got a big show coming out i know congratulations thank you and then we have to make a box for the donations totally forgot about it ah i gotta pick up the business cards hey um can you come to java uh there's something happening with kosal and the police uh it seems that the police are looking for him he just got back from uh just went to his guest house please don't set someone had to but you know and someone almost understands because i think someone in the high ups was like wait a minute he representing us in cambodia you know let's let's throw up a trump charge and stuff like that and whatnot and just like it'd be easy to believe you know and then hold me back and i don't even have to i can't even get on the plane well before we like jump to anything hello maybe it's just um um i don't know what it could be actually it's cambodian anything could happen what the guest house people what did they get they loved him they said they love them as a family and they respect what he's doing what he's representing they know that he's going to london so when they got where the police were coming and searching his place they just went into his room and just grabbed everything so the guest house people they gave me this they didn't know what this was they thought it was uh some kind of a drug i looked at him like okay it's just regular advil you know headache medicine you know so they were being you know cautious and trying to help him out because they love him they just somebody's trying to set him up i don't i don't know i'm telling you that somebody has been spreading something i don't know i don't know i mean apparently it's from somebody because i've been touched none of that stuff i know myself i don't touch none of that stuff who shoots up who like snorts who does under that i don't do that all i said yo do not get in trouble do not do anything stupid do not get into anything that can get you kicked off of this stuff you know that's what i've been doing falling you have a show tonight so the goal is to to keep you free uh for the show until the show until the end of the show oh i've never been this nervous nothing happened in uh and when stuff like this happens i'm always reminded of the alchemist i'm always reminded of pablo coelho you know when you pursue your dream when you're committed to it everything opens up it's like wow wow wow but just when you're about to reach it everything stops the whole world conspires against you and then remember linda's email about the immigration you're going to be asked a ton of questions when you come in stay calm stay cool you have a visa you have an invitation there's no reason why you can't be passed through okay you just need them to stamp the thing when you take the shower rinse all of that off and let's just go in it with a really good positive attitude and let's not bring the drama because if you talk about the drama the drama is going to follow it yeah and then we get you on that plane all we have to do you guys is leave 7 30 a.m then you'll be there i'm hoping for the best man hoping for the best definitely preparing for the worst just like in the book and the alchemist he's crawling through the desert walking through the desert looking for water he's walking for days walking for days and all of a sudden he's crawling now and while he's crawling he sees these pile of bones piles of skulls and he thought to himself this must have been where they gave up not knowing that just beyond the horizon just beyond is an oasis water to be clenched i just gotta hold on things are moving against but i just have to hold on it's how bad i want it now hands are sweaty knees weak arms are heavy that's my spaghetti he's nervous but on the surface of the calms are ready to drop bars but it keeps on forgetting what it wrote down big night tonight i mean london here we come i love this city i love cambodia i love the people because the people are so generous so giving we keep on giving man it's been taken it's been taken it's been taken but and yet people still give that's what i love about this place place is home [Music] it's crazy oh my god [Music] [Music] you know what i'm saying [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] original 13 colonies man taking it back back to the day [Music] hello hi hi um i'm calling about kosalkia if he was he just came in on the uh tg916 flight from bangkok i believe he's being detained right now yes so he is here as a cultural representative from cambodia is ridiculous so what happened is uh we arrived from bangkok okay an hour huh i shaved it down maybe an hour kosala and i went up to that counter he showed his cambodian passport i showed my japanese passport there you go again there you go again people just staring now he's just attracting attention this lady started looking up more and more and more and she had more questions with console waiting for the i guess i don't know double check on the paperwork and whatnot i guess they might think i'm bogus or something i mean i got all the way through over here right she just called me up and said look you can go but i have to buy me or another immigration officer i am detaining you detain your friend is there any chance that we could talk to him we'll see what it is you know i mean i was um invited please put that away now one of the coordinators with the poetry parnassus she's going to give them a call give immigration here at the airport to call and follow up and see what's going on with kosala is he behind the bars apparently it doesn't seem to matter much why he's here or that he has a visa more groovy waiting music she would not comment about whether there's any chance that he might not even get through man hello hello is this cool hey cosal this is linda have they told you anything they haven't told me anything well yeah i got i got a blanket and i got like yeah i got access to that but it's just crazy that's how like how are you gonna invite me to your country and and then come and hold me like a criminal sarah sanders is my contact from speaking volumes tour she's on top of it they have contacts in with immigration lawyers whose specialty is this kind of stuff this this is quite an embarrassment they're confident that they can get him out what i'm nervous about is it's re-traumatizing him yeah that to me this is happening all over again i'm being treated like a criminal hello and thank you for calling colbrook immigration removal center and short-term holding facility if you know the extension you need to dial please press one followed by the extension number if you would like to speak to a detainee please press two for assistance if you would like to speak to a member of staff please press three whoa whoa they're crazy drivers here so this is my first day here on arriving i get picked up by immigration and what happened i ended up meeting some people no man's land a man with no country stuck in limbo there was a guy that was stuck in there for 10 years [Music] they don't know what to do with them he's trying to get back home but they won't send them home but they won't let him in the country neither this here is for those with no voice those from the struggle man's land i was like there was a whole lane there people was in traffic right i was thinking man where's the komoda people have been dipping already yeah they would have been dipping down the lane and going on the opposite direction yeah that smells good okay we're following the chalupa that's what we're doing we're going on an underground subway first time i feel like i'm in like the state my senses are booming right now this is the most white people i've seen in my life but i don't want china chinese food you don't want chinese food i thought we was going to go for it we can do that oh my my expenses are so alive right now wow i'm aware of everything that's why i miss baby back ribs that is not the best sweet [ __ ] i've had [Music] oh you know when we get on the street start street performing around here license sex shop look at that everywhere is like shops you gotta spend money to go anywhere exactly see propane that's why i love from faith i can go by the riverfront and just sit there a call to poetry love it [Music] look at this man oh was it meant to be man had to be had to be right i suppose martin's right in the sense that if you're looking for somebody to blame for the reason why you're here it's it's really me and jude that you should point the finger at we sat down a couple of years ago over a cup of tea and sketched some ideas on the back of an envelope and had this crazy idea that we should bring a poet from every olympic country to london during the olympics please come in olympic year and speak simply about how you view the world now that poetry matters this much the trouble with poetry is [Applause] poems are [ __ ] unless they poems serve absolutely no purpose unless they reach the audience they are written for the ears they are meant for he's a poet and tattoo artist and please pack your hands to welcome case lps and welcome kiev it's called moments in between the nights and just to give you a little backdrop on moments in between the nights i was in corker state prison and that place was crazy it was a mad house it breeded hatred and so many other things and i remember being warehoused in a room with 200 bunks 400 people i'm on the top bunk towel wrapped around my neck boots laced up late at night and i'm looking around and i said man these are moments in between the nights wow i had to write this down there are times in my life moments in between the nights where i've laid bathed in my own grief see the streets of only memories stories told with a glazing stare knowing full well with a full heart i should be there not here but i am here not there but that's neither here nor dead see i'm aware of these moments i'm alone cold in the zone a part of a world where tragedies happen every day i pray for peace some type of solace but release is six years away so it's safe to say to that day comes i'll be a vacant body a hollow tune force to witness man's doom meanwhile echoes of my life keeps bouncing off my eyeballs so what a scene seems like a dream but i'm way off that's me as a teen then the scene takes off which replaces the face so i can hardly wait to embrace so much love but love love slowly face it hate resentment lends a hand to an untimely break so late is the hour when i reach back and think back to what was always better yet what was mine cause these are times of my life moments in between the nights where it must reflect what was lost and check in with my thoughts see i've checked it with my chips of sin and this is the life that i bought my thoughts keeps going back i can't help it my thoughts keeps going black i can't help it i keep getting these attacks at night with my minds wanders back flipping memories and i can still see they're still fresh and intact my conscious ways on my back regressing shame weighs all my name like chains and i'm at a point in my life i'm tired these nights filled with empty silence these days filled with senseless violence so blinding on my thoughts when it raises behind my eyelids as they flutter visions of my death within my iris and there i was laying in the gutters so what was a quick glimpse of my demise remain shut to these eyes now what is visualize is a life i must rise to dreading the moment where i must open my eyes to another day i must fight through the same nightmares i close my eyes too cause these are times in my life moments in between the nights where i must reflect on what was lost and check in with my thoughts yeah check through my chips and sin this is the life that i bought sometimes just sometimes you wish you could die when crying wouldn't suffice but you take with a sigh and you roll to your side so that tear goes unnoticed from the eyes who deems it a weakness to those who can't cry so here it is on your why's and what is what should have been what should have happened with your life supposed to be if you never ran the streets you was told to ease up on that gun clapping but the money and fame was too enticing life behind balls wasn't that frightening so your eyes were soldered on the fast like the lights and glamour but it all came crashing down like a hammer correction a gavel a man in the black robe 16 years old 16 years 85 percent two strikes and off you go another branded cattle so here i am trying to unravel the sequences of my life what came first what came last too much time has lapsed eight years to be exact see these are times in my life moments in between the nights where i must reflect on what was lost and check in with my thoughts see i've checked it with my chips of sin this is the life that i bought thank you i don't really want to go into details about you know what we did do in the past whatever but you know make a long story short basically we all got locked up for attempted murder yeah we ended up shooting some people and you know we we went to jail you know with gasol we got into a lot of trouble back then i mean the first thing you know is pretty much if you see another group it's gonna be you know where you from you know if you know they don't say the same three acronym then you know then that's pretty much it you know get off on them you know oh yeah no i'm not so worried about getting jacked in london i mean you know i can pretty much take care of myself i'm worried about what i would do to them i think the first week i got out my brother and his family wanted to go bowling you know walking and stuff like that alone at night time is like man i'm like man i wonder if someone's gonna test me out he was like hey pope was that you he was one of the guy that got shot let's go hit him up man hey yo where you from damn man well i'm going back to jail you know i got a record for who you think they gonna bring you see one of your enemy that you shot he happened to live and you know but it didn't play out that way where are you from i'm from cambodia what's up he came he spoke to me and uh he was like you know what happened happening he's passed all that you know and you know we we talked for a second and he you know he asked me how basic everyone that that got locked up for shooting him doing you know it was kind of weird i guess you know let bygone be bygone it's cool it's cool it's like you know it's all love you know i mean like one one one fan he was like he was looking at me so i looked back at him you know i did the i did i did the path to the heart you know i mean he was like he was he tripped out he was like what do you like so he did the pound back like man did the salute he's like he was really excited just to take a picture with me he was like man i'm really feeling your i'm really feeling your stuff but i'm like man that's what's up man i'm glad man you know is the direction you're gonna go down yeah i'm going fresh huh from thanks to prepping from dog to prep right yeah the dude is like so like tatted up and it's like what the hell very disciplined right yeah like he looks educated but he's not [Music] like together posh yeah very put together then when i just come out yeah i'm very unassuming um today i'll be reading you look like a college newspaper editor oh it used to be uh me scotty tevin casal ghost uh ronnie bay face there's quite a few of us scrappy and scrappy now he's uh got double life how did he get double life uh they ended up catching a couple murder case how old was he when he got the double like i think he'd be like 16 yeah so 16 and with that much time you know i don't really know what to say uh this is the park we used to hang out at least one of the parks this is where uh the cops always swoop on us you know sometimes we get away run around the trees the bushes up there on the rocks you can see who's coming up the park you know if it's someone that we don't get along with you know trap him right here and then what happens next huh we get them at the age of 17 hanging out here with corsair what were you looking for i don't know i think we're just looking for acknowledgement recognition guess because half the time i don't even know why we do what we do it's more a sense of belonging responsibility duty you're pretty much a soldier you know you fight for what you believe in for the cause you know your people your family this is what got put in ask them once where do you think we'll be in 10 years and the answer is pretty much i don't know probably dead and that was like the norm that's how all of us felt one of us is here living and breathing we didn't really value life like that like i do now you know living and breathing with a heart that continues to keep on beating my cause these days you know for my family you know for the little ones all the boys in blue marty williams practice nolan you're here with me you know i'm happy just coming home and a two-year-old nephew you know wait for me at the door you know he hears me unlocking the door and you know there he is you know waiting for me to pick him up you know and that's what makes me happy these days you know you do realize that life is a lot bigger than uh what you had imagined when you was a kid out of all of us it seemed like i'm i'm the only one left out here everyone else out of the country or [Music] you know doing life at one point in time being in a cave and all of a sudden you come out and you drift you know you jerked wide open spaces you dreamt of prairies you dreamt of fields thank you guys man i remember those conversations in the dark those conversations were like glimpses of light never really fully realizing that one day it would happen [Music] that one day i'd be standing here [Music] these are tears of joy man tears of joy and i'm happy to shed them dreams being lived [Music] i thank you guys and man did you look outside before yes are you so outside let's go and this is what you see that's not how i get dressed when i go to prison it's me in a play as an actress i witness and i experience the power of the arts to transform and i believe that every human being has the potential to create value in the world for me the arts is the most effective way and most expedient way to be able to do that cassal was in our first class that we did at crc there are issues that are unaddressed that most people that are in prison are going to get out someday we have in california a complete lack of any kind of desire or concern for rehabilitation well let me give you a little background first when we first started doing this work i had done time and gotten in a lot of trouble when i was a kid and uh ended up finding myself facing a felony murder charge at 17. when i got out of prison i was worse i was way worse and i think most men come out much much worse i'm so inspired when i see these people who are considered the dregs of society when i see them transform their lives with so much courage and so easily really i feel like this actually actual proof of the power of the arts a person that represses fear for example or represses their sadness is a time bomb and i've only ever once had a dangerous situation actually because i was in the class with this guy caught who had lay on his face and i was trying to get him to allow himself to experience anger you can't touch anybody but you can get angry at me and when i sat in the first circle and they said your rage is welcome here i thought you guys are nuts you bumped your head you so you know if i get full of rage somebody's gonna get hurt and so he did get angry and he went like he was gonna hit me everything just slowed down i think it went in slow motion i'm gonna tear this room apart my rage is capable of doing some really violent stuff and i could feel all the guys behind me the rest of the class were like go ahead see what happens to you and he just went well the rest of the session he was fantastic he crossed a barrier in his relationship with women i'm sure you know most men don't show their grief or their sadness you know in fact most rage most anger is just the cork that keeps all the grief in the bottle you know that for me is a a reminder of where we are but i don't feel scared because i feel like we're giving them something we're not taking something from them we're giving them a gift more times than not if a man can get to that he'll drop right below it spends very little time in the anger and drops right into the grief or the sadness or whatever has has caused him to feel that broken-hearted experience that i think everybody's familiar with that happens in life how we doing manchester united anybody from contacting the world in the house the human being is capable of great compassion and great empathy doesn't matter what abstract you've been given by the media and the human soul is much more generous than any media outlet ever is a lot of the men that we work with have got life without parole we get asked the question you know why are you working with men who are never going to get back on the streets but i think as a responsibility to each other you know no one can really be said that they're unsalvageable every person deserves a second chance especially men like miner can have the opportunity to one day come back and and help us give other men the chance there were people that helped me and and i know that's that's what seems to make a difference in our world is is all of us reaching out to each other at some level in some way i i want the world to be a place where humans are valued and you know when you i don't know what the guys have done i don't know what their background is but i guarantee these people have been damaged at some point in their life i don't want that to happen anymore and that's what drives me it's not that i'm a particularly compassionate person i mean the reason i practice buddhism is because i'm not compassionate and i need to know how to be compassionate but i am very passionate bones buried in a country i call home i write for you the listeners to listen up take a step back and imagine the bigger picture cause i write the real song fill me [Applause] hello [Music] [Applause] [Music] just might be you have a waiting area it's classy i mean what do you want to do with your life man i have no idea you got any dreams or anything i can't tell you a straight way answer because i have a lot of plans now whichever one falls first and that's what's going to fall first but the creator my creator me and him right or me and her or mere it whatever that's out there that's controlling all this if he wants to put me in a place where it's like dark don't put me in a place that's dark i understand that i might not get it but i understand it listen to the question please if you don't have a job and you are not in any active pursuit of trying to find a way to earn money how do you expect to be able to eat every day and actually have a place to live i don't want to get stuck in a job i'm not no i'm not going to work for anyone okay but you still point blank like pay rent i understand that and it's going to come i'm not worried about all that i'm not worried about money money come and go money doesn't rule me some people have some people have everything that you talking about but are they living walking coming going where they're at in their lives wondering where are they walking to where are they coming from are they happy are they well with themselves okay do they have ambitions do they have dreams so me coming from a dark place homeless it's nothing i'm not i'm not with my mom i'm not with my family i'm homeless right now even if i have a home but are you living of course i'm living okay am i living i am soul living right now i'm living to the fullest of my own potential i can't i can't afford to spend any more and i miss cambodia as well so we stick to the plan and we go back and we'll see what awaits for me over there [Music] [Applause] [Music] the other day i came right here sat right here right and then the cat came up fat old cat too just came up to me boom you know and like about like two three minutes later a fox came and the fox was looking at the cat the cat was looking at the fox and that cat just sat on his haunches he just sat on his head and just looked at him and the fox walked away like what's up man you know like yeah walk on if that fox tried to do anything to that cat i would get away fox fox left won the way yeah but i am not a prison poet i can't enchant you with metaphors for gray the image of a torn throat or with a few words cast the shadow bars across your eyes and i can't stand on a concrete soap box and tell you what's wrong with the world and god or what makes the heart feel the tales of beating dogs it's like i said i'm not a prison poet back to reality man back to reality dream is over man about to go on and live another dream [Music] [Music] oh [Music] oh by the way i and when we found out that you know he was prosecuted and in a sense we we were not that shocked you know when he doesn't come home sometimes that's stressful on your parents they stay up they cry they wait for you behaviorally he became somewhat almost incorrigible nice to see him sit down polish his pistol he did not want to go to school very rebellious and aggressive with his um verbal i've seen the whole family cry over casal the day that he was gave in his sentence that day was in the back of mind just like yesterday very quiet everyone got ready no one said a word they just get ready it was like a going to a funeral [Music] i came to the us when i was roughly 11 years old and i think kusal was about one years old back then mom had seven children but life was was good even though we didn't have any money we were one loving united family couldn't ask for a better family than my family our family experienced much hardship like all of my families in cambodia companies come 1975. they know my husband very shortly soldier they take he goes to kill i have secreted not ever not yet [Music] after three days the sawyer companies come to tell my family go to take the body your husband put in the ground my brother and my mother-in-law would take a body my husband put on grandpa she cannot do because the fly so much in the body and smell bad too they they only had they take one piece give to me i put underground in a small home in a jungle [Music] while he was in prison my family and i would go visit him a lot i had to explain to my kid when they asked why is uncle there i wholeheartedly believe that if my brother was walking on the street he would not survive i thank god the first day and stay present you make mistake make mistake you supposed to learn i kind of wish we we did a lot more for him was it mom's fault was it sibling fall was it the grandma's fault all of us somehow we failed to somehow to be there for him where were we when cousin needed us the most so i'm i'm i'm done with all the regret all the what if i could have i should have you know for me i went through his his age also i came here 14 15. but when i stopped in this land i already had an absolute code of conduct as a young man found in the holy bible so i saw myself as us and them already because it was different i think he was he was somewhat a little bit confused as what he want but ultimately he he he chose that's true you cannot run away from problem you cannot what you do you pay and you know during of all these incidents was a child he wasn't thinking straight and at this magnitude it was his first time to try him as a doll i think it is i think it's not fair i think i think the legal system failed him he didn't make the right choice but he served his time he should be given a second chance to stay with us it's just unjust the torture of being separated from his family that that is inhumane in my opinion very inhumane i try to do everything the best i can do but i cannot right now [Music] right now we want it's a chance to be with him and to see him and hopefully they'll give him a chance to come back to us i thank god for her life i hope he come by i don't know listen to cambodia mama i love you know that i'll hug you witness these words as they tumble to love you crumble to hug you see mama mama i love you moms i know maybe you realize all the bad things is happening but none of it was your fault nothing was any of y'all fault so all my brothers and sisters but i got the strength from y'all thank you thank you for still believing in me never given up on me because i always knew that he has so much talent i would say such a momentous moment it's like you're so proud of him right now that's a family one day soon the wall has fallen let's break down all the wall one day soon all these walls will break down all the barriers all the boundaries i'll be back home again been separated for too long and i miss you guys more than ever i said moy is a warrior b is a clan blazers tribe they descendants of man boone is an army blime is a nation huddled inside for foreign [Applause] mercy and i'm like wow i have somehow like stuck i'm just too for it to come out the way it did like randomly like how did she find me like yeah how did it find you i don't know i haven't asked i i'll be at her just messaging when did you find out when did you get this look just now just recently like about like maybe 20 minutes ago i get a message out of the blue our friend request actually hey i'm from france i don't know too much english so but i have a question and then next like she's typing it out and then she send me a picture a baby picture of me like how'd you get this picture and she's like my dad gave it to me i'm like wait a minute i what does that mean your dad you're like yeah like oh he looks just like you um he misses you he's very sad he loves you i run away from companies and i come to my own home i saw that gosar nestle where you want to go i said i don't know i don't know where united states they opened the cam in the counter he want to help me too he went involved with me he said are you married with me i have your kid i stayed with him maybe two three months i had pregnant gossip [Music] very very beautiful but i am very very happy i know my son [Music] come in see me tomorrow afternoon i can hear the fight stop [Music] i like no i can't help you know i feel all sorts of stuff right like all sorts of stuff right now i can't help but feel anger too just angry at the whole situation of so many years apart so many years wasted angry why why the separation happened first place and we had like i have a new form of anger and even my rules [Music] then i mean everything's supposed to happen the way it's supposed to be right thank you thank you it's been a long journey here meeting family for the first time amazing blessed this next piece is called love ui i'm swimming through butterflies because your eyes remind me of sunlight reflected moon beams filled with dreams of sunshine see a surface search purpose or worthless nine times eternity earth merge with dirt she's worthy of love pure [Music] [Music] thank joy [Music] i think in kowi dang no chonburi not kaidan chonburi when we found out that we did not pass a test to come to the u.s mom decided to be separated from gustal's dead supposedly um kosala's father answered incorrectly with the questions yes console that really um wanted a console no that's our our brother you cannot separate him from us you know as much as he his dad loved him we didn't want to give kasal up the um refugee camp he was telling my mom that we should all stay together then my mom was like got scared saying like no what if we stay here you know four or five years and my older siblings they're already old and they're like you know like they won't be able to learn anything so they're gonna say okay you know change the paperwork and stuff like that and he let it go wow now i can understand my mom's like point of view as well you know like i'm not mad or anything like that i could understand the sacrifice my bad i have to make too as well but that's the soldier's way right you know don't worry about me like i can take care of myself i've been at war like all these years you know like i can take care of myself you guys go get safe [Music] sacrifice man and for him to be who he is today loving open honest he's a rare man i'm just proud to be a son this is the path that you're going to be on it's almost as if it was set long ago so me being deported it was meant to be you know the human spirit no matter how many times you may fall no matter how many times you get beaten up no matter the times you get kicked down that it will always search to thrive not just survive [Music] there's a saying which i really love you have no idea how strong you are until being strong is the only option you have [Music] an artist [Music] thank you for having me here this is the first time in paris it's a beautiful city love it city of love i was so negative and so full of angers and that's what writing came to me and poetry and you know me learning on raymond uh esther schneid mary oliver so many poets that i don't remember a birthday all the past two years would have been deleted would you join them live normal life in california and give up all the things you have done in spoken word ever since coming to cambodia would you exchange that delete all that just to be with your family yeah i would man i give it up man an instant boom right there chilling with brian right here come from their work we've been working boom boom come back chill may play some video games yeah go shoot some hoops none of this man no one would know me and that's fine with me you know i'm a part of something now but i've always wanted and true unconditional love and it's just you know realizing that man i got robbed you know making my way home again that's what i'm doing right now i'm making my way home again this started a long time ago this journey right now is still continuous i have yet to make it home and i made a promise i'm gonna make it home somehow somewhere i don't know how i don't know when but it's gonna happen [Music] take me home said i'm ready to roll so go ahead and take me on home i'm ready to rest my head down low said i'm ready to go and only the good lord knows how much farther i got baby i'm coming home 365 days times that to 16. man i've been six and 16 with six dreams with six beans aimed like six fiends ready to shoot and kill my pain like dope fiends full of dopamine and morphine 600 mulches and codeine man i gotta do 14. plus some odd months and days of wasting the weight in these last days i'm ready to go i'm ready to roll lord saver place me i'm ready to show my worth in this damn cursing place i'm ready to go see i'm dog tired of this dark maya put flames underneath these raw tires i'm on fire man i'm coming through and it's all alive while i said i'm ready to roll so go ahead and take me on home i'm ready to rest my head down low said i'm ready to go only the good lord knows how much farther i got baby i'm coming home man the sun is beaming pinch me the product with some must be dreaming my back i must have i see dimes in the sky dimes in your eyes i'm shining i'm dying to fly i'm no angel but i'm dying to try even if i have to blaze heat with my bricks and burners nurture with nature coach and i don't hate y'all i just hate these vultures thought you thought you picked my thoughts clean but my thoughts man where the red eye dot beam tell em man i'm just trying to start clean said i'm ready to roll so go ahead and take me on home i'm ready to rest my head down low i said i'm ready to go and only the good lord knows how much farther i got baby i'm coming home you