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3 ways to resolve a conflict | Dorothy Walker | TED Institute

Aug 12, 2025

Overview

This lecture discusses how positive energy transference can resolve conflicts and outlines a three-step process for mediating disputes using compassion and empathy.

Energy Transference and Its Impact

  • Emotional energy, such as moods and attitudes, can be transferred between people unconsciously.
  • Positive energy can uplift others, while negative energy can bring others down.
  • Energy transference affects both personal and professional relationships.
  • Everyone is capable of influencing the emotional atmosphere in a group.

The Role of Positive Energy in Conflict Resolution

  • Positive energy transference is an innate and learnable skill.
  • Anyone can mediate and resolve conflicts using positive energy.
  • The desire of all parties to resolve the conflict is essential for success.

Three-Step Conflict Resolution Process

Step 1: Prepare

  • Avoid mediating when emotions are high; schedule a later time to allow emotions to settle.
  • Choose a distraction-free, comfortable setting and ensure participants' basic needs are met.
  • Meditate or center yourself to maintain impartiality and bring positive energy.

Step 2: Diffuse and Move Forward

  • Observe, listen, and ask neutral questions to help defuse negative emotions.
  • Neutral questions make participants pause and reflect, promoting collaborative thinking.
  • Validate all viewpoints and steer the conversation toward new ideas and solutions.

Step 3: Make an Agreement

  • Once emotions are neutral, guide participants to form a consensus.
  • Formalize agreements verbally or in writing to prevent misunderstandings.
  • Use specific steps or written documents even in informal conflicts to ensure clarity.

Key Terms & Definitions

  • Energy Transference — The process of transferring personal emotions and attitudes between individuals.
  • Mediator — An impartial person who facilitates resolution between conflicting parties.
  • Neutral Questions — Questions that do not favor any side and encourage open discussion.
  • Consensus — General agreement among all parties involved in the conflict.

Action Items / Next Steps

  • Practice the three-step conflict resolution process in upcoming disputes.
  • Reflect on how your energy affects those around you.
  • Consider learning basic mediation techniques to use in everyday life.