Understanding Complex PTSD, Toxic Shame, and Procrastination

Introduction

• Presenter: Heidi Priebe
• Focus: Use psychological models to understand ourselves and improve relationships.
• Today's Topic: Complex PTSD (CPTSD)
  • Not necessary to have CPTSD to relate; relevant for those with toxic shame or insecure attachment styles.

Toxic Shame and Procrastination Cycle

• Procrastination as a symptom of underlying toxic shame.
• Toxic shame: Belief that struggles stem from being flawed or broken.
• Aim: To dispel the myth of inherent flaw and provide tools to reverse the cycle.

Life Stressors and Attachment Styles

• Everyone experiences major life stressors (e.g., job loss, academic pressure, relationship uncertainty).
• Secure Attachment Response:
  • Self-compassion and acknowledgment of stress.
  • Seeking support from social networks.
• CPTSD/Toxic Shame Response:
  • Difficulty recognizing the need for comfort and support.
  • May develop feelings of hopelessness and learned helplessness.

The Dysregulation-Procrastination Link

• Dysregulation arises when emotional needs are unmet.
• Procrastination can stem from distractions caused by unmet emotional needs.
• Emotions may manifest in unhelpful ways (e.g., irritability, inability to focus).
• Maladaptive coping mechanisms may develop (e.g., substance use, isolation).

Escalation of Problems

• Failing to address initial stressors can lead to a cycle of worsening issues.
• Toxic shame often surfaces, leading to feelings of worthlessness and failure.
• Understanding that problems arise from lack of coping mechanisms, not inherent flaws.

Reversing the Cycle with Self-Compassion

• Self-Compassion and Self-Understanding:
  • Recognize and validate the need for comfort.
  • Understand that it’s normal to need help with life challenges.
• Steps to Take:
  • Acknowledge the need for comfort when facing stressors.
  • Shift perspective from blame to understanding—analyze problem origins without shame.

Community and Support Systems

• Building a social support network for receiving and giving comfort.
• Recognizing that many others share similar challenges can alleviate feelings of isolation.
• Compassion for oneself is crucial for healing and developing a secure attachment style.

Practical Applications

• When feeling dysregulated, pause to assess emotional needs.
• Recognize and accept dysregulation without judgment and seek appropriate comfort.
• Mindfully choose coping strategies that promote problem-solving rather than exacerbate issues.

Final Thoughts

• Compassion and understanding can help shift the narrative from shame to support.
• This journey is long but can start with small moments of compassion.
• Emphasize: Feeling shame does not define one as shameful.

Conclusion

• Encouragement to practice self-compassion and recognize the shared human experience of struggle.
• Reminder: Progress isn't linear; small steps can lead to significant changes in perspective and coping.