💋

French Cheek-Kiss Etiquette

Sep 18, 2025,

Overview

This episode of French Connections delves into "la bise," the French cheek-kiss greeting, exploring its origins, rules, regional variations, etiquette, and workplace challenges, clarifying common confusions for foreigners and locals alike.

Origins and Historical Background

  • "La bise" originates from Latin traditions, symbolizing polite courtesy rather than romance.
  • The gesture is widely used in France and other European, Russian, and African regions.
  • Social norms around la bise have evolved, including pauses during major health crises like the plague.

Basic Rules and Etiquette

  • La bise is customary among friends, family, and sometimes colleagues.
  • Men typically shake hands with other men unless they are close friends; women may exchange la bise with both genders.
  • Formal situations (e.g., with employers, in-laws, or professionals) usually call for a handshake.
  • Key steps: make eye contact, step forward appropriately, put a hand on the arm or shoulder, touch cheeks, and make a kissing sound.
  • Never actually kiss the cheek, and avoid omitting the kissing sound.

Regional and Social Variations

  • The number of kisses varies by region, typically two, but can be between one and four.
  • Which cheek to start with and the number of kisses differ even at the village level, causing confusion even among French people.
  • Men are increasingly participating, especially among friends, reflecting changing gender norms.

Challenges and Trends in the Workplace

  • Work environments can be complex; some find la bise unhygienic or time-consuming, while others feel excluded if skipped.
  • In large offices, la bise can be impractical or controversial, leading to alternate greetings like high fives or simple verbal hellos.
  • Social judgment may arise if la bise is omitted.

Tips and Popular Culture References

  • When unsure, follow the lead of the French person.
  • Humorous takes on la bise, such as Paul Taylor's viral video, highlight common social dilemmas and awkwardness.
  • Despite confusion, many appreciate la bise as a cherished aspect of French culture.