yes oh what's like the line because I mean if you just like went into full release I was thinking oh I could just stand up and walk around this room and draw like a s over there on the board but then it's like you're interfering and actually legitimately influencing the environment around you like where do you want to draw that line you want to think of it like this in this area or field of study we're faced with many such opposites seeming opposites seriousness playfulness disciplined approach Freedom approach high energy low energy direct indirect um who am I now what can I become complete Freedom versus a sense of decorum when you're faced with a seeming polarity of opposites like that the best approach is to transcend it as an A or B black and white situation because look that is one of the conditionings of society is Du a dualistic black and white thinking approach things are right or wrong up or down black or white off or on start to look at them as choices along a spectrum it's not I have to do this like either I'm running around like some 2-year-old drying on with crayons on the walls or over here I'm like this prim and proper person who's trying to walk on eggshells when you're faced with the spectrum of energy understand that the greatest point of Vitality along a spectrum is through the synthesis of the poles so you want to be able to do all of those things things you want to be able to like have this again uninhibited flow of energy through all these channels not trying to care what other people think but then of course you have to take into consideration empathic accuracy how are you making these other people feel the Mind here it can be a bridge between the inner and outer or it can be a barrier and for many people it's a barrier now I don't want to cast The Mind as some sort of villain here we don't want to throw the baby out with the bath water there's a lot of good things that your mind does they're very very necessary you know it can it can make creative Discerning decisions in the moment about what to say and do it can understand certain techniques involved and what you're trying to accomplish and Lead You Down the way points of these types of interactions it can uh remember the past and learn from it it can imagine the future hopefully however it can also judge and that's where most of the problems come in so remember we are conditioned from a very early age to be very careful with our uses of energy right from a young age your parents like sit down shut up don't run around in the store don't be loud in the restaurant etc etc this could result in judgment censure loss of validation confrontation embarrassment humiliation rejection you have held these conditionings or these inhibitions to be useful and necessary for your own protection for so long that you are like no longer even aware of them they're likely below your threshold of awareness so now many you know decades later all you know is that okay there's someone you know at a party or someone who could help me with my business or someone I just want to talk to and I want to go introduce myself to that person and all you know now is you can't do it you just can't do it or when you do go up you feel stifled there's there's like a something blocking and the energy flow is is is in it's inhibited it's not verbally thought out in your mind it's not oh here I go I better shut this down it's this right brain culturally conditioned error that just prevents you from having free flow of energy through these these channels ever been in a party where you know one friend there they brought you and then the friend's like oh there's my buddy I'm going to go talk to him they step away for a moment and then you're just like the thirt look at my phone look at my phone so you know you want to you want to kind of go around and mingle so you'll be like all right I'm going to go speak to somebody you'll immediately feel some sort of inhibition but here's again here's the mechanism first thing that happens mind's going to anticipate potential judgment now to that midbrain that sort of lyic system that monkey brain quote unquote that equals Death humiliation equals Death and you know one thing my buddy Owen says the Mind wants proof not promises so you can tell your brain all you want it's gonna be fine this is ridiculous intellectually I know that nothing bad is going to happen but your mind's like no I don't want your I don't want your promises give me give me the proof that I'm not going to be ejected from the tribe and left to die in the tundra or or whatever to be consumed by a saber-tooth tiger so and again we can argue whether these are in like some somehow intrinsic fears that we have they're related to some sort of evolutionary biology or they're learned I'd argue it's likely a combination of both doesn't matter why once those once those fears have been installed in the amydala they are basically indelible you cannot remove them now this is again good from an evolutionary standpoint because it means you don't have to keep reminding yourself you know finding out every time not to put your hand on the stove you're kind like okay dangerous situation it's it just happens immediately but in a situation where the so-called danger is arbitrarily related to reality like again you know very well how like if you were out with your co-workers and you were at some bar and and you told one of those co-workers go talk to that that person over there it's highly unlikely they'll be able to do that they will have to be cajoled browbeaten ridiculed pushed physically and then even then they they may they may or may not do it because they're thinking if I get rejected I'll be embarrassed but the opposite is true you likely be applauded for Having the courage to even do that you know Win Lose or Draw so you know this but intellectually it does not matter because what's going to happen is it's going to say potential danger at there's about to be a it detects that there's about to be a change in the quality or quantity of energy put through these channels right because again if you want to go meet somebody let's say let's say you're at a bar if you want to go speak to somebody at a bar if you just go up to them and sayy what's going on if I go if I go up if I go what's going on and I speak in like a normal speaking voice like I would in just a quiet area what are they going to do huh huh what they're going to say what and the moment that they have to say what that it it's basically determined that you're not worthy of even speaking to because you're Comm you're subc communicating this insecurity so they're just going to be like they're going to ignore you in fact you know it's funny cuz I I'll go out for many years I went out and I you know these extremely loud nightlife environments and I would come home and then and then like in the darkness I would be hearing this ring ring ring I'm like oh no that's not good so I began wearing uh earplugs but with those in you'll you'll think you're speaking a little louder than you actually are because of the nature of them it just sounds like you're so sometimes at the beginning of a night I would go and i' talk to somebody be like oh hey blah blah blah blah blah and and they're like what I'm like oh right I think I'm speaking like louder than I am and I'd kick it up and I'd fix it like D and they they'd be like done even if I fixed it it wouldn't matter because that first impression was already made so anyway long story short you want to go introduce yourself to somebody the mind anticipates there's about to be a change in the quality or quantity of energy push through these these channels and so again the anticipation of judgment comes into play and then it's going to call the Mind cannot do anything on its own so what it's going to do it's going to call you play physical tension the body as its Enforcer to shut you down and that again so I'd say overarching an overarching sort of fundamental law of this learning how to communicate better and more freely is tension is the enemy tension is the enemy not just physical tension intellectual language based densities as well this is why if you see me out you will almost never see me just like standing there stock still like right why am more likely I'm going to be like this bare minimum I'm going to be like tapping my foot to the the music no matter what Dumb Song dour is on like what's the dumbest song they play in the club now all of them all of them I don't know that Miley Cyrus one about buying herself flowers or whatever like I'll be like I'll be like bopping to that even though I find it somewhat you know unpleasant like I I want to maintain a rhythm a looseness to prevent that subliminal onset of tension because it will creep up and you will not even notice it and once you're in the grasp of it you're done it's very very difficult to get out of that and this can manifest in a number of ways it can be breath holding it could be jaw clenching it can be darting eyes it can be bre uh it could be like a eniz shoulder neck tension it could be weird finger hand activity [ __ ] with your cuticles it could be hands in your pockets it could be shifting from foot to foot it could be lock knees but once it's there it's very difficult to get out of it when I go out some of my assistants our prime directive is just do whatever we think is the funniest thing to do in the moment not trying to Pander to what we think other people might like I think that that's probably the biggest determinant of whether or not your Vibe is good cuz think I want you to look at all of your interactions through this lens when you're going to introduce yourself to people are you a seeing people having fun and then trying to weasle your way into their fun like there's a group of people having fun excuse me can I join the fun can can you please give me some some energy give me give me energy so I feel better about myself so I don't feel unvalidated can I join like anytime you're asking for energy generally that's going to be not very well received generally now imagine on the opposite side you're in you're already enjoying yourself in the environment and then you're going to go up and add that to their night and invite them to collaborate with you and enjoy in like I'm having a good time you appear to be having a good time join me in this middle space here and we can kind of collaborate and make something new as oppos to suppos to can I get in can I get in like anytime it's can I get in there going to be get get out of here like just go like I do not have excess I got my own problems here like I'm trying to unwind for my stressful Work Week here and this like needy competitive ener it's a competitive energy that's what tends to not get a good result it's competitive energy what I mean competitive it's like if I if I talk to these people and they don't like the things I'm saying I am diminished I I am a loser I have [ __ ] up it's something bad has happened and then consequently what H what subsequently after the almost guaranteed poor reaction then what happens it becomes a story in their head about what does it all mean about me and who I am and this that and they're so inside here that they can't there's no space for the other person's experience at all it's like what does it mean for me what what is the story about me and it's you know it's no it's no wonder cuz they're they're so solipsistic like they can't even they wouldn't even know how to collaborate with with another person because it's all about them understanding this is not going to necessarily help you you're not going to drop Decades of conditioning overnight awareness is the first step now the problem with that is a lot of that awareness will come with shame it'll come with guilt uh which is kind of paradoxical because that's what caused all this in the first place so the awareness needs to come without like and again particularly with socializing particularly with dating like it's so results oriented and so it's so easy to get into like a defensive mindset about it especially when you're told what you're doing is quote wrong the Mind needs to like be allowed to relinquish its death grip over this entire system and be relegated to more of a a coaching role or a guiding role cuz it could be a bridge or a barrier but yes even a bridge has guard [Music] rails