crack crack crack crack crack crack crack what's up Greg and welcome back to another episode of C if you've watched my channel for a long time you may remember me making a video about the movie Standing Ovation like 5 years ago and you might think that that movie should have nothing to do with the movie we're going to be watching today Croc because well Standing Ovation is about a rag tag group of girls competing in a singing and dancing competition while Croc is about a man eating crocodile brutally murdering dozens of people come to think of it in Standing Ovation I don't think even one person is brutally murdered by a crocodile but the movies are related nonetheless because they were both directed by this man Stuart Raffi Stuart directed Standing Ovation he directed Croc he directed another movie called badir Island which I'm very curious about and he also coincidentally directed Mack and me that ET ripoff from the'80s that Drew has talked about on his channel and also Paul Rudd always used to bring a clip of on Conan this man has a prolific career of creating lowbudget films that leave you questioning if what you just watched could even be considered a movie and today I'm pleased to report that Croc is no different this movie starts off with a little origin story for the Croc you're probably wondering why he goes on this murderous Rampage is he hungry is he some kind of mutant uh no it's because two fishermen wake him up with a bomb hey man I get it don't wake me up with a bomb either until I've had my morning coffee am I right or until I've had my morning two fishermen because the crocodile leaps from his resting place breaks the boat in half and the fishermen try to swim away but they're not fast enough for the Croc all right man what was your strategy here what are you doing why are you even in that position that's not going to help you get away maybe if I just pretend I'm already dead he won't be mad at me anymore maybe he'll feel guilty and then he won't want to eat my whole head oh no he ate my whole head now I know what you guys want you just want me to go through and show you all the scenes where somebody gets eaten by the crocodile you know how I know that because this whole movie is on YouTube and all of the most rewatched parts are the parts where somebody gets eaten by the crocodile but first the movie has to introduce all the characters and set up the plot and the story but hey at least the plot of this movie probably mostly revolves around the crocodile right well good morning everybody Welcome to Jack's Farm good morning good morning most of the first half of this movie is about this sort of local business dispute between the main character Jack and the owner of a construction company K song it's okay ladies and gentlemen nothing to worry about not terrorism it's just a neighbor do his own construction Kong's still trying to get you out every day you see Jack an American man living in Thailand owns a zoo which is right right in the way of a road that Kong wants to build so he's been trying every trick in the book to get Jack out of his farm to get him to give it up including sending an investigator from the Department of Animal Welfare to investigate him Department of Animal Welfare Evelyn she said she's responding to a citizen's complaint congratulations we're having a new promotion at the park and you happen to be the 50th customer of the day what do I win a sushi dinner for two at any restaurant on the beach well maybe you should consider feeding your animal instead of me actually that's a courtship but is he Crocs are the most vocal and sexually aggressive of all the reptiles oh no no no don't worry that cocodile doesn't want to eat you he wants to sleep with you but unfortunately she's mine so back off does that make you feel better she's not having it but don't worry Jack's not getting his farm shut down he's the main character of this story he knows how to treat his animals he's a good old American Boy USA USA weevils you're feeding your bird's parasites Mr mcade you have problems with your food bins your water systems polluted I drink that water myself your Meats aren't fresh enough because your refrigerators aren't Co oh wait hold on why does it sound like he's not taking care of his animals I don't know if I'm really rooting for this guy per se honestly at this point I'm just rooting for the animals I hope they stage a coup and put jack in a cave uh-oh another crocodile encounter this little girl is swimming right towards him they wouldn't show a kid getting murdered would they hi Ro oh few dude thank God she said hi that's his weakness do you think when they were writing this movie they forgot how hard it is to talk underwater so when they went to film this scene they were like oh no what do we do uh well we'll just add her saying hi crocodile in a ghostly robot voice and post later on Jack is hanging out with his nephew and good friend Theo at the bar and we'll get into what they're talking about in a second but first can we just appreciate the people dancing at the beginning of this [Music] scene something about the way they dance is just so captivating do you think the director just said all right now everybody dance like a Sim look at this guy in the black shirt dude I've never seen anyone dance like this in my life he like strikes a little pose halfway through the dance I love extras man I want to be him when I grow up his shirt just says play while Jack is at the bar throwing back a couple of beers with his high school age nephew a detail which is never explained further Jack is investigated again this time by the tax Bureau Jack yes Mr Fang federal tax Bureau you have been avoiding me for the last 3 months so his animals are starving and he's not paying his taxes I actually feel like the construction company is like the least of Jack's worries right now but while Jack is being interrogated by the tax man Theo starts flirting with a girl and they devise a plan to help him are you Theo's father no I'm am Theo's Uncle oh uncle is he really a rich man he's a pretty rich guy yeah that line is my favorite line in the whole movie The inflection is so strange he's a pretty rich guy yeah you need to meet my sister very good for you come if it's okay with you if it's okay with you he's about to arrest you for tax evasion but he does let him go he's like look man I may be part of the tax Bureau but I'm not a block go meet this chick man let me know how it goes so Jack yes we are going to start a fire and you are going to dive into the ocean what don't worry kind stranger as we've grown quite fond of your nephew over these past gosh 12 seconds so naturally we decided to help you commit our sin to escape the [Music] police and off he goes dude they did that good they must do this a lot also I guess the tide must be out cuz they told him to dive into the ocean and once he leapt off the thing he landed in the sand that could have ended very badly if he didn't know that so long suckers oh oh God my legs I'm going to prison so they just barely escaped the police and I know what you're thinking it must be time to skip town right now that the police Animal Welfare tax enforcement and this construction company are all after him nope he just goes back to work like nothing happened but not before someone else gets killed by a crocodile also not before we talk about today's sponsor rocket money I signed up for paramont plus so I could watch old seasons of Survivor but unfortunately the experience of using Paramount plus is so bad that I never use it I don't know if it's just the app on my TV specifically but episodes of that show used to be shot in a 4x3 aspect ratio but Paramount plus stretches it out to widescreen meanwhile all of the ads which are shot in widecreen for some reason are squished down to 4x3 also pausing doesn't work it actually took me like days to even sign up for Paramount plus I don't know why I tried on 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the over 5 million members using rocket money today go to Rocket money.com danany or click the link in the description to get started with rocket money Mone for free and you can also unlock even more features with premium that's rocket money.com Danny to get started for free thank you to Rocket money for sponsoring this video and thank you to you guys for checking out rocket money now back to the video after the whole escaping from the police incident two of those teens from the bar decide to go make out in the ocean this is great they're smooching they're making out the boy goes underwater to I actually don't know what he was planning on doing down there it kind of looks like he's going to suck on her toes but you know who that attracts The Croc The Croc said hold on Old on if anybody's sucking on anybody's toes around here you better believe it's going to be the most sexually aggressive reptile so he eats the boy and then he eats the girl all while this lone terrified girl watches on in horror I love how casually she rides away she is in no rush ah a Killer Croc I got to go get help but I shouldn't go too fast I got to focus on me I got to take care of myself first my sister here saw a young girl get attacked by a crocodile are you sure it was a crocodile I'm absolutely sure it tail make a big splash and there was lots of blood okay What's My Line What's My Line What's My Line okay nailed it hopefully they just edit out that 5 Seconds of Silence that night Jack is tending to some of his baby crocodiles which sound like lasers for some reason when Kong's crew get a genius idea they sneak into the zoo and release Jack's adult Crocs who do not sound like lasers that way they can make it look like one of them killed those teens that night what time did you leave them last night just before dark do you have any idea what happened well we still don't know anything yet but they may have been swept out by a current or something oh yeah no good call no no need to give any Credence to the girl who literally saw them get eaten by an alligator now she was probably just making it up she probably just wanted attention she's like curled up in a corner traumatized somewhere and they're just like stop lying there's no such thing as alligators you idiot you killed them didn't you during this scene there's a mysterious man just kind of lurking on the sidelines of the investigation he's not part of the police he's just there and he's mysterious but it seems like he might have a hunch and then suddenly the police pull a leg out of the water [Music] do you think she could survive with this missing what kind of question is that uh maybe she's still alive it's just a leg she might not even noticed it fell out like a tooth or something look like some possible tooth lacerations here but it could also be a prop old prop what about a crocodile you must be joking maybe not well it could be a croc or a shark a Croc are you insane you should lose your job just for that suggestion uh but yeah it could be that's not going to sit very well with the Chamber of Commerce yeah I was just thinking the same thing man kid gets eaten by a crocodile first thing I'm thinking about is how is the Chamber of Commerce going to react so the police show up to interrogate Jack who is frantically looking for all the crocodiles he's lost you doing Phil I'm here on official business Jack yeah we assumed so you're a police officer and you pulled up with like 15 other police officers I know what it looks like but no strip club tonight Jack yeah I know people are dying I'm here on official business unless no dude we have to catch this crocodile before it kills again right right yes exactly but what if it's at the strip club yo so the girl that Theo was flirting with at the bar is having a funeral for her cousin and since everyone thinks it was Jack's crocodile that ate the cousin they are not very happy when he shows up and he is very confused you okay what's the matter he keeps asking are you okay hey and what's wrong when everybody doesn't want to talk to him dude somebody died what's going on why is everyone so sad Hey where's your cousin the ugly one you need to get these kids out of the water we've got a Croc out here what kind of Croc one that eats people yeah right all right man why' you even ask if you weren't going to care what he said he gave you the worst answer you could possibly hear while your kids are in the water and you were still like ah yeah I don't care but look we know from earlier that sure this movie is violent but they would never actually show a child getting murdered by a cocen no Liz you got AOS tanks yeah what's going on Croc just took a kid where'd it go why is everyone so nonchalant after hearing the craziest things Croc just took a kid oh word nice I was looking for somewhere to post up where did they head to the strip club it's from a different era monster from the past my uh grandfather got me a baby croc for my 10th birthday why not the best of pets ate my favorite hamster yeah he was a crocodile they do that Jack and Evelyn decide to take matters into their own hands and go hunting for the crocodile Jack almost shoots him but he misses and then he makes it sound like a cicada but on the plus side they do meet the mysterious man from earlier who finally introduces himself oh sorry Hawkins Croc Hawkins his name is Croc Croc Hawkins name's Croc now I know what you're thinking but no it's not short for crocodile I'm after the shoe and it's time for another crocodile [Music] attack I love this one because he is getting dragged away for so long and they just watch him nobody does anything to help they're just like oh man he's dead help I'm not dead there's still time it's like I can still hear his voice you sound sounds scared while Jack Evelyn and Croc are hunting the Croc the other two villains just die they get eaten by the crocodile so I guess that whole plot line is just over it's kind of anticlimactic Jack didn't get a chance to like triumph over the unjust Corporation they just got devoured by a wild beast but good for him I guess now he can tend to his malnutritioned animals in peace here you go a shot of OJ in your vodka thanks Nector of the Gods thanks I think the one thing that's going to help me kill this thing is being super wasted so who are all these people anyway you can't have this many friends oh my God skewer him man so who are all these people anyway you're way too creepy to have this many friends are these people you kidnapped or something they're the ones that couldn't run fast enough the ones that couldn't think fast enough the ones that couldn't swim fast enough basically just the really dumb slow ones one thing that really surprised me about this movie is how overwhelmingly positive all of the comments on YouTube are this movie is super boring the acting is really bad there are long periods of seemingly pointless plot development and yet the YouTube comments seem to love it but they are pretty much exclusively all about how pretty the scenery in Thailand is and not about the movie or the plot at all so I guess that makes sense great movie well filmed nice locations beautiful filming never thought Thailand was so perfect to Paradise thanks so much yeah well it's not that perfect if people keep getting eaten by by alligators is it great movie with beautiful scenery thanks do these people think that the director invented Thailand cuz he didn't it's been around for a while and you can go there so they find the Croc and they kill it it's honestly pretty unsatisfying I don't know what I was expecting for them to like pull off the mask of the alligator and it was the tax investigator all along but I was hoping for some kind of closure as to like why this happened out out side of two fishermen woke him up with a bomb the ending of this movie is very somber they're all just kind of traumatized on their little boat until Jack sister asks Croc if the crocodile ate his leg I forgot to mention Croc only has one leg I don't know if you've noticed that and so you just assume oh he must be hunting The Croc because the Croc ate his leg and Croc says oh I don't know lost that leg driving forklift in the Navy good good good I was hoping this movie would end like an episode of The Big Bang Theory well guys thanks for watching this video I hope you liked it if you're new here make sure you subscribe and turn on my notifications to join Greg I'll see you guys next time bye-bye