If you ever want to prevent yourself from getting cheated on, it's not so much that you have to spot the red flags in the other person. Sometimes you can become a person who never gets cheated on. No matter what relationship you go on, you can become immunized to it. It's really difficult for the woman with good intentions to find a man in this day and age. The woman that's not prepared to lead sexually and lead with that, she finds herself being overlooked by the women that are. The men that are pushed into commitment tend to resent their partners for making them a married man. They get angry at small signs of intimacy. They get annoyed that they have to be loving to you. They get annoyed that they have to check in with you every day and tell you what time they're coming home and what time dinner's going to be ready. They resent the patterns of being married. As I'm Yeah, it's You are right. I've seen the abusive for sure. I've seen a lot of men who feel like they just want a submissive partner who does what they want when they want and there's no no love there. There's no actual love there. They're setting all these boundaries, but they're aggressive with it. They're not reminding her that they love her. They don't even show her that they love her, but they want her to obey him. That's no way to set a boundary. And other men are just too on the soft side. And then she forgets what he actually truly wants because he's kind of people pleasing. So finding that balance is something that's become difficult. Yeah. It's so interesting you said that because I was thinking about so my mom was the breadwinner in my house and she did everything for me and my sister and my dad was aloof. He was kind of checked out. And it's so interesting you said the male role model piece because two things happened for me. One thing was my male role models were monks who were really good men. And then on the other side I saw my mom's strain and struggle and pain and that made me want to be a better man. But that's because she was vulnerable with me about it. So because I could see that my mom didn't have an easy life, I was convinced that when I got married, if I ever got married, that I would never let my wife work that hard. But that's a really common trait that the other type of man experience. Some men because they saw their mom really struggle, they just want to relieve their partner of all struggles. So the other way that they can go is that they want to save a lot of women. And what ends up happening is that they really want to make sure that she has no troubles and she lives a life of complete comfort. The problem is when you remove all struggle from anybody's life, um they lose purpose and they actually resent you for not allowing them to problem solve themselves. So some men in that position what they'll end up doing I'm not saying this is you but generally sometimes those men they want to protect their partner from any kind of pain and stress and in the process of doing that they can either become a bit people pleasing or just solve every problem that she could potentially have either or she doesn't actually get to fulfill her own potential and it can lead to resentment. So either way unfortunately the lack of male role model has a significant impact on how they behave with women. Yeah, I love that perspective and it's such a fine line and I would argue that probably while I was dating I was that kind of guy. It was only when I got married to Radhi did I upgrade to actually realizing that I needed my partner to also pursue her purpose, discover what it was, understand it and and that took a that took a while. Yeah. And and did you find that do you have that habit? There's a lot of men in that position. Sometimes they'll choose women that are heavily heavily traumatized or they choose women that have never had any work um and no work or they might choose somebody who is just really struggling with their some addictions and they like that because then they're like I can just show you and help you and help you recover. But the problem is sometimes when those women do recover they want a man with higher self-esteem. Somebody who wouldn't tolerate so much of that negative behavior. So they actually Yeah. So sometimes I'll meet men who like she had this addiction. She was an alcoholic. She was traumatized from sexual abuse. I helped her get through all of it. But when she's recovered, she's actually looking at him like, "Why did you tolerate all of that? Why did you select this? There must be something wrong with you. I actually want somebody who's got a higher selection process." Now, sometimes they can lose that woman that they have. And women suffer from this as well. They think that if I just show him I'm consistent, caring, and loving getting through the addictions. When he when he finally recovers, he actually looks for somebody with higher self-esteem. And they end up all that investment can sometimes go to waste. But isn't that so heartbreaking? It is because that was love in its best form. If someone was patient while you healed and they supported you like, aren't we moving away from love if we leave someone who is there for us in our darkest times? They are, but sometimes they don't know if you are there because you love them or you're seeking their approval. And a lot of people sometimes they are approval seeking and master that through helping. They will help that person financially, help that person with every single problem that they have. But there's an unconscious contract that the more I help you, the more you will love me in return. And sometimes we can see through it when it's not genuine. And when that person can see through that this was all done with a contract assigned to it that one day you will then be loyal and loving and committed to me, they didn't agree to sign that contract. So when they're healed, they can become ungrateful to the person that helped them. Yeah, that makes so much sense. Yeah. So it just depends what the unconscious contract is when you're helping people. I love that unconscious contract. Yeah, you're so right that if you're doing it just to say, "Look, I was there for you. I was there the whole time. You should love me more now." People sense that. People sense that. How do you communicate to someone that you're there for the right reasons? You have those boundaries. So, how you communicate? Cuz I suffer from that as well. I like to be super super helpful because then I'm like, I'm I'm so irreplaceable. If I do all of these things, I'm so irreplaceable. But the and there's unconscious ego attached to that. It's like, "Look how wonderful I am because I saw you through all your financial wos and all this stuff." But really, the best way to communicate that you're there for love and not for approval is that you still have deal breakers. Where people go wrong is that they are literally a doormat. There's nothing you can do that will make them ever leave. Whereas where you're still loving, but you're not approval seeking is there's a limit to how much you can take. And if there's not at least gratitude, respect, honor, and loyalty, you will leave. Whereas, if you have no deal breakers whatsoever and you're just consistently loving this person who is just taking from you, it signals low self-esteem to that person and it signals an incorrect attachment. You know what? I love talking to you because there's just everything you're talking about is like getting into the real like nuance like there's this gray layer of in between of all these ideas and that's really what makes all the difference. What is the 3M method? This is a program that I'm launching actually very soon. And here what I do is I teach men just three factors on how to have really healthy relationships. First one is mastering yourself. You can never have a healthy relationship without a healthy relationship with yourself. Without self-esteem and self-confidence, there is no point dating. Then you have to master women. That women speak a completely different language and men believe them. What they say they want and what they unconsciously reward are completely different. And the final thing is mastering relationships where you understand communication, conflict resolution. How do relationships work? If you come out of a relationship and you have good memories, good years, and beautiful kids, it's not a failure. If relationships, you're coming out of it with lowered self-esteem, broken homes, depression, anxiety, those are the failures. And that's where I come in with relationship skills. Listening to you, the question that's coming to my mind is we all seem to think we know why men cheat on women. Why do women cheat on men? I've gotten in a lot of trouble for saying this in the past, and I'll say it again. Usually, in my experience of when women cheat on men, it's not so much that, you know, he's done something toxic. I've met women who are in toxic relationships and stayed loyal the whole time. It's simply when he lacks masculinity, they are most likely to cheat. I don't actually see women often cheating on a toxic man. They actually quite loyal to him. They're more likely to cheat on a man that is too passive, too naive, and too people pleasing. And the reason for that is because there's something about that man that is so soft, so naive that makes her lose sexual attraction. Something about the fact that he can't spot red flags. Something about the fact that he believes everything. He doesn't question anything. He's afraid to assert his boundaries makes a woman crave somebody with a bit more masculinity. So, it's not so much that they're cheating on him because he's so bad to her. Cuz I've meet so many women saying, "He's a wonderful man. He treats me really, really well. I'm just not in love with him. And usually the reason why she's not in love with him is because they he's not protective enough. And what some men will provide, but what we mean by protective is she might be out all day with her ex-boyfriend and he won't get protective and say, "Hey babe, don't I don't feel comfortable." Or she might be doing, you know, disrespecting him or anything like that. And he doesn't stand up for himself. And in those moments when a man doesn't stand up for himself, she loses that respect and then she crosses new boundaries because mainly she believes he will stay regardless. And when we give our partners the belief that regardless of how you behave, I will forgive and maintain consistent. I'll love you regardless. We think we're showing them unconditional love. But what they'll end up doing is thinking that we are going to tolerate unconditional disrespect. And they end up just pushing our boundaries more and more. So what does he do? So what he does is make sure he's aware of when he's being disrespected. And we naturally human beings in general, and I think this is men and women, if you ever want to prevent yourself from getting cheated on, it's not so much that you have to spot the red flags in the other person. Sometimes you can become a person who never gets cheated on. No matter what relationship you go on, you can become immunized to it. And the way to become immunized to being cheated on is number one, understanding your partner's true needs. understanding what they actually need in a relationship and asking yourself, can I commit to that? So, some people be in a relationship with somebody who's got a really high sex drive. They just can't meet that need. If you know you can't, at some point that relationship's going to suffer. Or sometimes you might meet a partner who really needs financial support and you can't meet that need. At some point, that relationship will break down. So, understand your partner's true needs. The second thing is knowing that if they did cheat on you, you would leave. If you give the signals to your partner that you wouldn't leave no matter what they do and you don't meet the needs of each other, chances are that relationship will end in infidelity. But if you meet each other's needs and you have a rule, both of you have a particular rule like if it did happen, I'm going to leave. There's no two ways about it. Chances are your partner won't take that risk. They only take that risk when they believe unconsciously you're going to accept their behavior regardless of what they do. And the signals of that come earlier on. So it might be early signals that you catch that they're still on Tinder. You forgive them. You go through their phone, you find that they're still talking to other people. You forgive them. You forgive the footsteps too many times. I'm not saying you become toxic and don't forgive anything, but you let them know that this behavior is not something I tolerate. You can do it, no problem. But I'm not going to stick around for it. When they learn that you mean what you say, they'll naturally improve. But if they see that you make a big hoo-ha, you scream out, but you actually tolerate more and more disrespect, you give them the signal that you'll accept any behavior, and they start taking more risks if it's the wrong person. What is the 3M method? This is a program that I'm launching actually very soon. And here what I do is I teach men just three factors on how to have really healthy relationships. First one is mastering yourself. You can never have a healthy relationship without a healthy relationship with yourself. Without self-esteem and self-confidence, there is no point dating. Then you have to master women. Now women speak a completely different language and men believe that what they say they want and what they unconsciously reward are completely different. And the final thing is mastering relationships where you understand communication, conflict resolution, how do relationships work? If you come out of a relationship and you have good memories, good years, and beautiful kids, it's not a failure. If relationships, you're coming out of it with lowered self-esteem, broken homes, depression, anxiety. Those are the failures. And that's where I come in with relationship stuff.