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Women’s Friendships in 19th Century America

Oct 1, 2025

Overview

This lecture explores the importance of female friendship and the development of women's communities in 19th-century America, especially within female academies, linking these relationships to the broader ideology of "woman's sphere".

Female Academies and Women’s Sphere

  • Female academies were designed to prepare women for their roles in the home and society.
  • These were women-only spaces with female students and faculty, fostering strong female communities.
  • The concept of "woman's sphere" dictated that women shared traits and destinies, encouraging close bonds.
  • Teachers and institutions promoted the idea of "sisterhood" among students.

Development of Female Friendships

  • Close friendships were widely encouraged as preparation for women's communal roles.
  • Students formed societies such as the "band of sisters" to promote harmony and exclude unkindness.
  • Residential schools, shared alcoves, and beds fostered intimacy among students.
  • School rituals included choosing roommates and exchanging flowers, emphasizing friendship.

Romantic Friendships and Gendered Community

  • Intense and sometimes lifelong relationships, described as "romantic friendships," were common.
  • These relationships were called "homosocial" because they involved emotional but non-sexual intimacy.
  • Antebellum Americans believed women were passionless, making same-sex friendships seem pure and admirable.
  • Physical affection like hugging and snuggling was accepted as non-sexual within these friendships.

Social Attitudes and Ideology

  • Female friendships reinforced the ideal of woman’s sphere and did not threaten traditional femininity.
  • Intellectuals like Margaret Fuller argued that female love was spiritual and superior to heterosexual love.
  • Women usually married but maintained close female friendships alongside marital life.
  • These friendships did not disrupt women’s primary roles as wives and mothers under social norms.

Key Terms & Definitions

  • Woman's Sphere — the 19th-century belief that women belonged in private, domestic roles separate from men.
  • Sisterhood — a sense of collective identity and mutual support among women based on shared gender.
  • Homosocial Relationship — close, non-sexual, emotionally intimate relationships between members of the same sex.
  • Romantic Friendship — intense, affectionate, and sometimes lifelong same-sex relationships, not typically viewed as sexual in this era.
  • Passionlessness — the belief that women lacked sexual desire, which shaped perceptions of female relationships.

Action Items / Next Steps

  • Prepare for next lecture on emerging alternatives for women to remain single for extended periods.
  • Review notes on the ideology of "woman's sphere" and its social implications.