Lecture Notes: Marrying Yourself and Self-Commitment

Introduction

• Song from Childhood: "Tracy and so and so, sitting in a tree..." outlines a simple life path: Love, marriage, and children.
• Reality Check: Life is more complicated; presenter experienced love, marriage, divorce, co-parenting, and multiple marriages.

Personal Story

• Three Marriages: Married three times and divorced, but not seen as a failure.
• Issue: Marrying wrong people, but not choosing bad people.
• Realization: Needed to "marry" herself to transform relationships.

Concept of Marrying Yourself

• Definition: Enter into a relationship with oneself, commit fully, and recognize your own wholeness.
• Life Change: Understanding that self-completion doesn't depend on external circumstances.

Personal Background

• Childhood: Difficult upbringing with parents involved in crime and substance abuse.
• Motivation to Marry: Fear of being left led to early marriage at 19.

Marriages and Realizations

• First Marriage: To a "good guy," left after five years.
• Second Marriage: Ended after four years, shared a child.
• Third Marriage: Realization of chasing wrong partners.

The Vows of Self-Marriage

1. For Richer or Poorer: Love oneself unconditionally without waiting for change.
2. For Better or Worse: Embrace yourself even during failures and disappointments.
3. In Sickness and in Health: Forgive yourself for mistakes and learn from them.
4. To Have and to Hold: Love yourself as you wish to be loved by others.

Transformative Effects

• Personal Growth: Understanding personal wholeness and reliance.
• Impact on Relationships: New ability to love others as they are.
• World's Needs: More love and acceptance of self and others.

Current Life Approach

• New Job: Focus on lighting up personal and others' lives, offering help.
• Dating: Evaluating personal feelings over seeking acceptance.
• Relationships: No rush for traditional relationship affirmations like marriage.

Conclusion

• Self-Marriage Commitment: Found self-love and commitment more fulfilling than traditional marriage.
• Current Relationship: Dating someone, but prioritizes self-love over external validation.
• Final Message: Self-love enables fulfilling relationships with others.