I'm Remy Blumenfeld I work as a professional coach mostly with creative leaders and entrepreneurs to live a life they love do you often feel that no matter how clearly you communicate your needs and motives get misunderstood by other people this is because they're listening to you through filters powerful filters of their own needs which transmute what they hear imagine everyone in your life was wearing sunglasses say your mother was wearing rose tinted spectacles and your dad was wearing I don't know bronze Ray Bans and your boss was wearing mirrored shades well everyone would see your white shirt completely differently through the shades of their work and that's a bit like how we listened we listened through filters which are more powerful than any sunglasses depending on what filter your listener is hearing through the most simple request such as would you drop this report could be heard by banners you're so bossy you're out to show me using control or you're lazy you're just trying to get me to do your work or you're really insecure and need my help with everything so it really pays to find out what filter you're being heard through and the best advice I can give on this whole topic is check with whoever you're speaking to after you've finished and find out what they heard just say just want to check out my communication really important to me to know what you heard I said you'll already be surprised by the answers you dare and then follow it up with another question such as what did you make that mean or how did you interpret what I said that question is designed to find out whether they think you're bossy or lazy or power-hungry client ease that out as well because once you found out what they've heard and how they heard it you'll be in a much better position to move on from there and communicate with them in the future George Bernard Shaw said the biggest problem with communication is the illusion that is taken place but if you're aware of the powerful filters that people including you are listening through you'll be much better prepared to speak into the echo chamber of other people's needs thanks for listening I'm Remy Blumenthal