Strategies for Controlling Conversations

Introduction

• Purpose: Learn practical strategies to control conversations in English.
• Benefits: Answer uncomfortable questions, change topics, set boundaries.
• Speaker: Annemarie, English confidence and fluency coach.

Strategy 1: Use Curiosity

• Purpose: Understand why the question was asked.
• Tactic:
  • Acknowledge the question.
  • Ask why to understand intent.
• Example Phrases:
  • "That's interesting. Why are you asking me that?"
  • "That's an unexpected question. I'd like to know why you're asking."
  • "Good question, but why did you move here?"
• Note: Use a higher tone and rising intonation to indicate curiosity and openness.

Strategy 2: Redirect the Conversation

• Purpose: Change the topic to something more appropriate.
• Tactic: Acknowledge the topic and pivot smoothly.
• Example Phrases:
  • "That's an interesting point. Speaking of which, have you heard about...?"
  • "Good question, but I'm not into politics. How was your trip to Slovenia?"
  • "We'll let you know when we decide. Speaking of kids, did you hear about the theater?"
  • "Thanks for asking, but I don't share personal life at work. How was your presentation?"
• Transitional Phrases:
  • "Sorry to change the topic, but..."
  • "Before I forget, I wanted to ask..."
  • "By the way, let's circle back to..."

Strategy 3: Assertive Boundaries

• Purpose: Clearly communicate what is unacceptable.
• Tactic: Use assertive tone and falling intonation.
• Example Phrases (Polite):
  • "I'm sorry, I don't feel comfortable talking about this."
  • "I respect your opinion, but I'd rather not discuss this."
  • "To be honest, I don't have much to contribute to this topic."
  • "I don't like talking about people who can't defend themselves."
• Example Phrases (Direct):
  • "That's too forward."
  • "That's too personal."
  • "I don't think this is appropriate for work."
• Example Phrases (Disapproval):
  • "That's inappropriate; I won’t answer that."
  • "That's a rude question; please don't ask again."
  • "We both know this isn't okay."

Using Humor

• Purpose: Steer the conversation and diffuse tension.
• Note: Use humor cautiously and ensure the context is appropriate.
• Example Phrases:
  • "Hmm. That's for me to know and you to never find out."
  • "Wouldn't you like to know?"
  • "I'm afraid I have to leave you in suspense forever."
  • "Oh, that's the million-dollar question. What are you ordering for dinner?"

Recap

• Strategies: Curiosity, Redirect, Assertive Boundaries, Humor.
• Remember: You do not need to answer uncomfortable questions.

Questions for the Audience

• How did you handle inappropriate questions in the past?
• How will you handle them moving forward based on today's lesson?

Call to Action

• Engagement: Share experiences and strategies in the comments.
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• Subscribe to the Speak Confident English channel.

Thank you for joining this lesson and see you next time!