foreign hello everyone welcome back to another guided journaling session of the emotions Journal so today we will be working on day four which is the anger Iceberg so as we move along through these journaling prompts you can see that each day we build on one another so the day three journaling prompt really spoke about primary and secondary emotions and so we're kind of deep diving into a secondary emotion for example of anger and anger is a really wonderful one to use and to really understand more effectively is because often we will feel anger and notice anger first but beneath the surface of anger there are multiple different emotions that we could be experiencing anger really offers us that chance to feel protected to feel like we can um avoid or not necessarily feel those more sensitive vulnerable emotions and it allows us to push outward it kind of gets us to feel powerful in the way that we move forward so in the journaling prompt so feel free to listen along or if you're writing along today please feel free to participate and in the prompt it says anger like all emotions comes with changes of how we are feeling mentally and physically we typically feel angry when someone takes away something from us or prevents us from doing something we feel entitled to for example not receiving a promotion or raise when we feel we deserve can Stoke our anger in this example anger mobilizes our bodies for defense or attack to take back what is rightfully ours so if we deep dive into that example of a promotion if we look at the anger Iceberg image if you're following along in your own journal or you can kind of search that image up as well it kind of shows that Iceberg that's floating in the water and what we've automatically may see and experience is that anger above the surface it's the tip of the iceberg what we're as we're moving along we feel and experience so after not getting a promotion we may really acknowledge that anger but below the surface there's going to be a multitude other emotions so for example in this in this specific case we may feel hurt you may feel disappointed that we didn't get that promotion we may feel misvalued or misunderstood because of all of the hard work that maybe had gone on into trying to get that promotion and so because we've worked so hard we may feel like it is rightfully ours to get that promotion and when we respond then with that emotional experience of anger it's trying to really show us that something didn't quite go right and we need to protect ourselves from that defense and that thing that's trying to hurt us which is the lack of promotion we may also experience anger in place of more difficult to express emotions or emotions that make us feel vulnerable such as pain insecurity or shame so we kind of touched on this in the day three of primary and secondary motions we don't really want to feel uncomfortable emotions in our bodies every time you have an emotion we have a body sensation and some Body Sensations such as pain insecurity shame guilt Etc they come with a very uncomfortable feeling body sensation and we don't want to feel that we don't want to acknowledge the meaning behind those emotions insecurity says for example I don't think I'm doing well enough or I don't think I am good enough in certain situations so for the promotion example insecurity may be one of those emotions below the surface of the anger Iceberg that's coming up and we don't really want to acknowledge it because it can be really uncomfortable and difficult to acknowledge that we don't feel confident in who we are or our work ethic or what we've done in terms of trying to get that promotion we may second guess ourselves and shame for example says I am myself I'm not good enough I am intrinsically wrong and shame is morally one of those emotions that are quite unique because it really looks as at someone's identity and the way that we have a relationship with ourselves when we look at something like guilt guilt would say I did something morally ethically legally wrong against a common subjective um expectation or guidelines such as like stealing we should not steal so when we feel guilt for that in that way that's a helpful experience but nonetheless it can be a quite an uncomfortable emotional experience and body sensation to have so in the prompt it says often this is because anger is seen as more acceptable on motion to express compared to other emotions and I want to pause there because that is such a powerful statement in that regard in society when we're growing up and we are being parented and socialized life can be really busy and we can be really focused on getting things done and achieving going to school extracurriculars whatever it may be in our childhood that often we forget to really develop our ability to know our own emotions label our own emotions and regulate our emotions and so if we have an emotion such as shame and it is such an uncomfortable emotion to experience it's really common for us to then go well maybe let's just Express anger anger everyone can understand and anger makes sense because it says I missed out on something that was rightfully mine I should protect myself there's a lot more opportunity for Connection in the regard of experiencing anger so we often put certain emotions on pedestals as being more acceptable to experience in society or between one another that we often push down to more primary emotions that are much more uncomfortable yet more primary and comfortable emotions allow us to truly know ourselves truly allow us to communicate effectively with others and it truly allows us to tune into ourselves in a more authentic way so I always encourage clients or friends and family to express your feelings Express the core Primary Emotion that you may be feeling I'm not saying that anger is not a valid emotional experience it has a purpose and it is valuable but it's okay to also step into those other emotions and express them whether that me having tears of sadness or saying and expressing verbally I feel sad Etc it's okay to step in those feelings so I'm always trying to encourage that so if you notice that anger is something that you're having an experience of regularly and regularly is a very loose term but something that comes up for you ask to yourself is there another emotion that is beneath that and could I go deeper with my awareness into what that may look like anger also tends to give us a sense of control which feels more comfortable than the vulnerable emotions at the root of her distress anger also creates that physiological response with that fight or flight uh response in our nervous system so it can really create this feeling of power and when we feel powerful that feels kind of good in some ways I don't know if anyone can relate to that idea like when we're in control it feels nice because we feel like we can have what we want um we feel like what we want can happen and we feel Invincible in some way so the anger can also be very consuming and it can be very easy to motion to step into regularly and frequently without going into the more uncomfortable primary emotions that have that distressing emotional and physical body sensation the anger Iceberg helps us to visualize this idea anger represents the emotions that others see or that we may first acknowledge or notice such as tip of the iceberg whereas our true emotions may exist below the surface so the iceberg below the water and so this is a really good image to kind of keep in mind that when we think about anger coming up and we see that as the tip it's like what is below everything in that what else is so for today's journaling and daily intention and reflection our first prompt asks us take a look at the anger Iceberg image that's included in the Motions journal or you can search it up if you'd like as well and think of an instance where you felt anger as a substitute for another emotion under the surface such as disappointment or embarrassment so for myself someone has once told me hey you did something wrong that's just kind of the core of what they were saying and I have even responded in Anger I've snapped back at them and I've maybe said like well you didn't do any better and that's like an angry aggressive way of responding for example if I slow that process down or use like the anchor Iceberg for example it can show me all of the other um emotions that would maybe coming up so for example like the anxiety loneliness sadness but in that specific example maybe I'm feeling pain or shame in terms of what I am really noticing so I've thrown up some different emotion words on the journaling page there so feel free if you are riding along to kind of write down your own examples when have you noticed anger and when did you notice now as you think back what did that actually look like so feel free to again there's no right or wrong way to journal with this or if you're just following along feel free to reflect what experiences have you had where you've experienced anger but in reality there's a more vulnerable emotion beneath the surface the second journaling prompt that we have is what was the scenario that caused that underlying emotion so these drilling prompts are really forcing us to distill down into the specifics of it the first really focus of this journal the first pieces are really about developing our awareness so as it asks this question of what was the scenario we can really start to glue together the things that may trigger us to have anger to really respond in that way so for me when I was younger I really grew up with a harder time receiving negative criticism I really didn't like that feeling the way that someone said if I did something wrong even if they were saying you're in a really productive kind feedback style way it was just really uncomfortable for me so I often I remember would not allow my teachers to see what I was writing in class I wanted to really make it perfect before it was evaluated or if someone today still does it and if I have less tolerance or maybe I'm having a harder day it may be easier for me to speak in a way that's angry fueled or in an uncomfortable way instead of acknowledging that it's okay to make mistakes or it's okay to not do things perfectly 100 of the time the third journaling prompt that we have here is was your anger used to protect yourself or mask more uncomfortable feelings so a very simplistic answer is yes and let me ask well why so it kind of goes to those points I've been mentioning today and in our day three per journaling prompt is it protected me from acknowledging the fact that I did do something wrong or I feel not confident in my work or it protected me from having to step into that uncomfortable Body Sensations and so it protected me from really acknowledging myself but that is kind of like a two-ended double-ended sword because by not experiencing those emotions I don't get comfortable with them and I respond in Anger sometimes to relationships which is an unhelpful thing that doesn't allow me to grow my relationships in a deeper healthier way and the final prompt is a bit more of a Forward Thinking prompt the next time you feel angry or anger reflect on whether your anger is masking your true emotions so if you can think of it like this another analogy that we can use for anger is we could pretend that we wear a mask and that mask that we see everyone sees is anger but if we were to take off that Mass what's beneath it what are our true emotions who is our true authentic self and our emotional experience that is beneath that mask and so it's really important to kind of think keep that in mind as we work through each of these days these journaling prompts to go who am I really and what emotions am I experiencing and can I just practice trying to sit with the uncomfortable emotion for a little bit longer maybe that's going to afford me a lot more authenticity or a strong relationship with myself or just allow me to grow individually and as always there's no right or wrong way to journal Within These prompts so feel free to take the time today the last 15 minutes allow yourself to connect with one another in the community in the chat or just take some time to write out or if you're not writing you'll take the time to reflect on these ideas of anger when have you notice the anger coming up what triggers it how does it feel for you or to protect you from different emotions and just really think about as we go along every day that each of these concepts are building on one another just go is anger really masking me from these true authentic emotions so hopefully this was a really great helpful analogy an image that you can all use in your day-to-day life and I really appreciate you joining me today and I wish you all wonderful uh rest of your day wherever you are joining in from and I hope you guys are having a nice lovely time 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