Transform Your Life with Ed Milet

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your next keynote speaker to the stage. Best-selling author, speaker, coach, and entrepreneur, Ed Milet. Thank you. All right. That might be the weakest applause I've walked out to in like eight years. What the hell's wrong with you guys? You get a little noise? A little better. Jeez. All right. A little better. Thank you. Make a man feel welcome. Good to be with you guys. So we've got an hour. Here's what I'd like to do for this hour. It's what I say every time I speak. I want this to be a life-transforming hour for me and you. And I don't know if it will be this much transformation or this much, but by the end that you and I are both a little bit different. Are you at least open to that possibility? Yes? All right, cool. Good to be with you. I know the market's been booming the last three or four years, so you guys probably don't need any of my advice, but I'm kidding. I have a lot of friends in this industry, probably more friends in this industry than any industry, so I've got a lot of admiration for what you do. I also have a lot of admiration for those that weed through these difficult times. They pick up all the market share, and then when it turns around like it's about to, all the money pours their way, and people think you're lucky. And you're not lucky. It's because of what you've had to go through the last several years, the mental toughness, the resiliency, the adjusting, the scaling back, the scaling up, all the things you've got to do. I really admire it because your industry is like this. It takes some real mental resilience and some innovation to be successful, and I really admire it. I've built different companies in different industries. I've had exits. I've been lucky. to, you know, in my life make hundreds of millions of dollars and get financially independent many, many years ago. I speak because I love it. I love people. I love helping people. I love inspiring people. And there were people that did that for me, which is why I now kind of love doing it myself. So anyway, great to be with you. Really great to be with you. That video's a trip, isn't it? Kind of cheesy. My team made it about a year ago, and every time I speak, I actually watch it because it reminds me of how blessed I am. All those are my homes. Isn't that crazy? And if you knew me, you knew where I come from, you would know that that's not really me. I've been able to coach. and interview or mentor people from every industry. People who have led big countries like this one. And athletes, entertainers. I have a call right when I'm done on the way back to the airport with a UFC fighter who you're about to hear just signed a real big fight. that I work with. And so I'm really blessed that I get to do all that stuff. But that's really not who I am. Here's who I really am. Could you put your phone down, brother? Thanks. You're in the front row, man. Let's put your phone down. Here's who I really am. And I'll call you out, any of you on it. I'm the son of an alcoholic and a drug addict. That's who I really am. And I always will be. I'm 53 years old. All that stuff's sort of bullshit, to be honest with you. I'm really the son of an alcoholic and a drug addict. I'm also a... sinner saved by the grace of God, by the way. And that's who I really am. And so, and that never leaves you. I don't know, any of you grow up with any neglect in your family at all? Anybody? I don't know, divorce, bankruptcy, they didn't hug you enough, whatever. I saw my mom the other day, I'm like, mom, we didn't even have like water back then. I'm old enough, remember when there was no water? Like I never drank a water before I was like 15 years old. It's just the strangest shit. But I had a very interesting upbringing. I had a good friend of mine, by the way, my wife I met in kindergarten. And out of our kindergarten class, three couples got married eventually one day. Tell me that's not weird. And by the way, I didn't grow up in some podunk town. I grew up in Southern California. Three couples. And two of us are still married. And interestingly enough, one of them ended up being the valedictorian. She was my wife, and her were the two smart girls all the way through high school. And she called me after, you know, some good stuff's happened. I had the number one book in the world two years ago. And I had a TV show at the time. And she said, hey, we're just so proud of you, Joe. Joe and I, you know, with all the neglect you grew up with, you know, the way life's turned out, it's just amazing. We're so proud of you. And I love this girl very much. She's a dear friend. I've known her, like I said, 47 years. And I've known my wife 47 years, too. And I said, I won't say her name because you might know her. I said, can I just be honest with you? I think you neglect your kids. And I've always wanted to tell you, but I've never had the heart to tell you. But since you're being so nice to me today, I figured I'd tell you. I think you neglect your kids. And she says, what are you talking about? about? We've been married for 26 years. Neither one of us even drank. Like, what's the neglect? I want you to hear this. How many of you have kids, by the way? Anybody have kids? It's worth saying. I say this as a dad. I said, I think you neglect your kids because the most insidious form of child neglect in the world is a child being raised by a parent who's not in pursuit of their dream. or their potential a parent who settles because things with our kids are caught not taught You're teaching them by watching you that it's okay not to be happy. Hey, sweetheart, you can be whatever you want to be. You can be the President of the United States. Well, why aren't you, Mama? See, at some age, all of us have grown up and we figure out who our parents are. We love them because they're our dad and our mom. But you figured out who your mom and dad were, didn't you? Your kids figure you out. Hey, son, you can be whatever you want to be. You walk in the room, people will know who you are. They'll respect you. Well, why don't... They respect you, Dad. Because Dad at some point started settling. Dad at some point started making excuses. Dad at some point started shrinking his life and his vision and his beliefs. And your kids don't care whether you own an island or a jet or a desert. They don't care about any of that stuff. What they do care about is your kids. about however is that you're happy and they know whether or not mommy or daddy are happy because you're the one driving them to school they look at you looking in the rear view mirror they see you on the couch on saturday they know whether mommy or daddy is happy and although your kids may not turn out like you they do catch your emotional home. Our children catch our emotional home. If your emotional home is worry and angst and fear, depression, frustration, maybe just sort of melancholy, your kids catch that. And even though they might have a different career and a different husband and a different that, they catch your emotional home. Can I get an amen to that? Say yes. By the way, I didn't even know I was gonna say this today. I'm not your normal one-trick pony speaker. I've got like 80 different talks. So when the Holy Spirit directs... me to say something. Someone in the room needed me to tell them that today. Get back up. Get going. Live blissfully. Live powerfully. Become the man or woman you know you're capable of becoming. You were born to do something great with your life. And if anything comes out of today, I'm here just to re-remind you, it's been a difficult time, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You were born to do something great with your life. I'll say it one more time for you. You, brother, sister, born to do something great with your life. Not the guy typing on his computer right now. He has no chance. And I'm not kidding. Can you imagine someone comes in worth $800 million and you're typing an email? But you think you're going to win and be big time. When I had a mentor in my life, I listened close. I take moments of life very preciously. And this one. I respect you way too much not to give you my A-game today. Hearing me speak is an experience. It's not just a speech. My wife would tell you that None of that stuff happened because of intellect. I can tell you that. One of the downsides of knowing your wife all your life is she really knows you. And there's a running joke in my family. Like, how does all that happen? I'll tell you how it all happened. I'll give you some keys. I'm going to give you some keys on growing your business too. But I can tell you how it didn't happen. It didn't happen with IQ. Can you tell those of you that see me on social we're on this nice guy all the time Can you tell that now that you're in person with me? There's an intensity to me. Maybe you didn't see before I think you've got to run a little bit hot to win I think you've got to want it more than everybody else. I think you've got to want to compete I think you've got to want dominate in life. I'm 53 years old. I've had two heart attacks. I still want to kick ass. I'm still here today. I spoke yesterday. I go to Charlotte tonight when I leave here. I'm after it. I'm in the hunt. I want to do something great with my life. I'm not wasting days. I don't waste moments. My wife tells this story. There's a joke in our family, I'll just be honest with you, that I'm not that bright. Now you wouldn't know that publicly when you see my show because I prepare my butt off. Someone gets interviewed by me, I'm not going to brag, I have the best podcast in the world. And they either don't listen to it, you're crazy. You can see the same person interviewed on my show that's on another show, totally different conversation. And the guests will regularly tell me, bro, this is different level type conversations because I've actually built something. I've actually done something. So I'm not like a social media talker person. I've built and exited multiple companies. I know exactly I know how to change your life and so when we have these conversations my wife's like I can't even believe this stuff's happened because every year about every I have two kids my daughter is a junior at Clemson and um bang yeah and my son's a professional golfer my son graduated college last year he's now playing pro golf and um about every four years since they were little we would take a family IQ test and the reason I really did I'll be honest with you when you're raised by a father or a mother like many of you who have become more successful than most people in your families. That can be difficult on a child. If your dad's real well-known or your mom's successful or they live in a good house, and even where they go to school, their friends, for some of you, know. You know, they know something's happened. That's a hard thing for children. And so I've always wanted my kids to know how average I was or below average, and so the one area I definitely am is intellect. And so we would take this family IQ test like every four or five years and I was fourth out of four every single time we've done it since they were little kids. True story. True story. And now that they're older, it pisses me off. So this last year, I swear to God this is true, this last year, I'm not lying to you, I trained for the test. Like everyone's asking, why are you reading so many crossword puzzles? Don't worry about it. I bought this thing called a Mendy. Does anybody even know what this is? It's a neurofeedback device. It's literally this headband you wear. You know what it is, brother. It's a headband. You just stare at your, I don't know how, but you stare at your phone, you wear this headband, and you're smarter. And you do it for 10 minutes a day. I did it every day for the year. They came home for Christmas this year. Christmas Eve, we took the family IQ test. Fourth out of four again. No offense to the folks at Mendy, you will never sponsor my podcast. I can tell you that right now. I don't care what you pay me. And at dinner that night, you'll get a kick out of this. My wife told a very funny story that's actually true. So I'll just tell you, then we'll get into how all that stuff happened. It's a true story. We were in third grade. My wife and I were in third grade together. And Mrs. Hanson was our teacher. Now, I'll just be honest with you. I fell in love with my wife for two reasons. Number one, she was the hottest girl in kindergarten. In fact, I came home, according to my dad, my dad was home one day drunk. And I came home the second day drunk. second day of kindergarten, I said, hey, daddy, I'm going to marry this girl in my kindergarten class. And my dad goes, oh, yeah, which one? I go, the brown one. My kindergarten class was 15 white kids and one Mexican girl. My wife's Mexican, right? And I said, the brown one, daddy. I'm going to marry the brown one. And he goes, well, they just moved in. I said, where do they live? He goes, at the end of the street. I said, she lives on our street? This is like gonna happen. So I fell on my wife because she was hot and also all through all the way to high school she let me copy off her paper because I was stupid. You know that, you remember the kid that would like, the smart kid who would like cover up? You know what I'm talking about, that kid? You know the dude. He don't have any houses like that, no. Nothing. My wife would literally, I just loved her. She'd just turn her paper towards me. So it's third grade, Mrs. Hanson's class, true story. I don't think I've ever told this story other than like once or twice. And we come in. The day before was a spelling test. I know I cheated off of Christiana, my future wife's paper. We walk in, and Mrs. Hansen is the sweetest lady. She sits down, but she's got this scowl on her face. And my wife's telling my kids this story, which they'll never end up getting out of my family. Now my grandkids will know it someday. And Mrs. Hansen goes, we have a problem. Everybody sit down. Somebody cheated on the spelling test yesterday. And I remember, even right now as I tell you this, I swear to you this is true. My heart rate's increasing right now. I was like, oh, no. because I have an alcoholic, aggressive dad at home too. Right? Oh, no. And she goes, so sit down. She goes, the reason I know somebody cheated is, number one, I have two identical tests here with the same three misspelled words misspelled exactly the same way. And also, I have two tests here from Christiana and no test from Eddie. I was like, oh my god, I am so f***ing stupid, I copied her name as if this was a question on the test. Christiana instead of Eddie on my test. That's a true damn story. So how does all that stuff happen from somebody like me, now that we've established where I'm at and where you're at? Here's how it happened. Did I mention earlier that I'm the son of a drug addict? That's how it happened. Let me tell you some of my theories on success and winning and bliss. I believe that everything you want is on the other side of pain and difficulty. And that if you can survive temporary pain, on the other side of that, if you look... look for it, if your reticular activating system in your brain, your RAS, which I write a great deal about in my books and my work, but you can even set all that aside. We'll just call it God. On the other side of temporary pain, if you're looking for it, God will give you some type of gift. It could be a new relationship, a new client, a new center of influence, a new thought, a new emotion, a new breakthrough, a new something. But there's a reward on the other side of temporary pain. Now, the good news is all pain is temporary. In fact, here's the real good news. Everything in life is temporary except our souls. everything is on the other side of that pain. I had Phil Heath on my show. Phil Heath has won six Mr. Olympians. He's a stud, big dude, makes me look real puny, right? And I said, Phil, why do you think you won all these Olympians? Not just one, but you could repeat it over and over. And he gave some answer. And I said, that's just not what it is. He goes, what do you think it is? I said, I think you have a different relationship with pain than average people. All those people that you saw, they're average, ordinary people. They got problems. They're faking it through life. Trust me, from my... kind of hay to any athlete I've had on. They're just people. But they have a different relationship with pain than most. I said, Phil, every bodybuilder loves leg day and grinds through leg day. I think you're a psycho and you love it a little bit more. And all of a sudden you change. That's exactly what it was, man. I love pain. I said, on the other side of that pain were these massive legs and six Mr. Olympias. That's why you won. I know Arnold real well. I've known Schwartz for a long time. He had a different relationship with pain, dog. Top UFC fighters I got, different relationship with pain. Whether you like Obama or Trump, forget it, do you agree with me that running, because you don't like them both, right, you like one or the other, would you agree with me that running for president is a painful experience and difficult? You've got to be a psycho! You've got to be a psycho! But on the other side of that pain... you lead the free world. In my case, I've been successful not with intellect, not with tremendous, I'm not 6'5". I didn't have great relationships. I didn't grow up on the right side of the tracks. I have a college degree because I... I played baseball at a school you've never heard of before. So I don't have any of that stuff. I didn't have self-confidence. I wasn't a good speaker. I hate sales. I hate rejection. So how the hell did this happen? I got two skills, and I have them in droves. Let me tell you what the two are, and I'll tell you how I got them. Skill one, I love people. And I'm present with human beings to where when I'm speaking to a room, I can see the dude on the phone, the dude typing, the dude moving in the back, the dude whose body language has already changed from when I walked out. Now he's like, oh, wait a minute. This dude's legit. The guy already doesn't like me because I bragged about him. myself five times, I got it. I love people and I'm present with them. If you were my Uber driver, my flight attendant, you were on my podcast, whatever it is, you'd feel a presence in someone who reads you and transmits energy to you in a freakish way. When I speak on stage, people feel things by the time I'm done that they didn't feel before I walked out. I can tell you that I have a very special ability to love, be present, read, and influence people. That's skill one. Skill two, I can communicate. Those are my two skills. That's it. I've reached hundreds of millions of people around the world, number one speaker in the world, number one mindset coach in the world, USA to Jay just said, and I've made hundreds of millions of bucks, and I'm not bright, and I don't have connections. Guess where those two skills came from? Pain. Oh, did I mention that my dad was a drug addict, alcoholic? Let me tell you how this goes. My dad, by the time I was four years old, my dad was a dude, I mean a man's man. Any of you guys or ladies in here raised by a man, you know what I mean, there's a difference. some men are just different my dad i've seen my dad more than 50 fights physical fights i'm not exaggerating that my dad's the type of dude you know when you put you cut someone off on the freeway and they flip you off my dad dad doesn't flip you off. My dad follows you to your driveway, and you're going to be beaten up in your driveway. I watched my dad in a fight in right field pavilion at Angel Stadium and the left field pavilion at Dodger Stadium. I watched my dad get in a fight in the donut line on Sunday at St. Dennis Catholic Church after church. True story. My dad's a dude. I was afraid of my dad. In fact, of all the people, all these fighters you work with, have you ever been afraid? I've only been afraid of two human beings in my entire life. Two. My dad. I'm talking about 65-year-old my dad. I was afraid of him. And Mike Tyson. And I've had fighters that are bigger than Mike. Mike's got something in there that I don't know what it is, dude. Trust me. Mike has something in there. I get why six-foot-four men are like, oh, my God, in front of this five-foot-eleven. dude. I've got goosebumps. I'm afraid of him. Here's where the skills came from. My dad would go on these drinking binges. He would say, Eddie, you're the man of the house. You protect your mom and your sisters if any bad guys come in here. I'm four. Now, what I didn't know was that the main person I had to protect them from was him when he would come back. I want you to imagine being four years old. I don't even like telling this story at all. When my dad would come back, I would go to the front door right away. And I'd read him when he opened the door. I would read my father. Is he drinking tonight? If he's drinking, can I smell any alcohol? How's his tie tied? How's he walking? What are his facial expressions? I became fully present with this man I loved so much. And I would send him all this love and presence. There was nothing else in the world. And if I sensed he was drinking, I would say, Mama, take Andrea and Erica and Mimi, and you guys go upstairs. And I would be left downstairs with this man. By the time I was about seven or eight. I recall being able to know whether he was drinking before he came through the door. I knew by the sound the key made in a lock whether he was drunk. Before the door would open, I'd go, Mama, you go take a bath. Take Mimi and Erica upstairs. Take Andrea. And I'm like a little boy. Now, I realized something recently. I'll just say this for some of you that may need to hear it. I just really realized this recently. I was never a little boy. I was not a little boy. I had to be a young man early in my life. Real early. Unfairly, I didn't have a childhood. Some of you know exactly what I'm talking about. When you grow up with a drug addict or an alcoholic or abuse or verbal abuse or just tension in a home, you're not a little boy or a little girl. That was real painful. I didn't know on the other side of that pain, though, God was going to give me this gift when I'm talentless, a tremendous gift to influence people, being present and loving them enough to say, hey, man, pay attention to me. It's not arrogant. I just, bro, we're brothers. Like, listen, I can help you, right? Enough to be candid and true with people. Ask the guy who drove me in my car last night. Ask the people who mic'd me up backstage. And then if my dad was drinking, I'd send mom upstairs, and then the second skill would kick in. I'd have to start talking, communicating, getting him to feel something. Daddy, how was your day? It was good. And my whole goal was at the end of our hallway, which I'll show you later, there was a liquor cab. Now, my dad's already drunk. Here's what my dad's routine was. If he was already drunk, my dad would make a beeline to this liquor cabinet, had all the booze there. Let me tell you what my dad drank. Beef eater's gin. You know how I know that? Because now to this day, no matter where I go, I can't drink. I'll be honest with you, I had a drink at the airport in Atlanta waiting for my flight last night. I'm at a bar there in a restaurant, people coming up, I take a picture, blah, blah, blah. And as I'm taking a picture with the dude, in the back of his camera, looking this way, I see Beefeater's gin. I'll see it everywhere. That's called your reticular activating system in your brain. Now, if you listen to my work, I will teach you to find clients, prospects, and referrals that way. But I see Beefeater's gin. You know what my dad would do? He'd drink eight of them. Eight more. Full glasses. I thought every daddy did that. Eight became such a prominent number in my life that I wore number eight in baseball. I played position number eight center field and everywhere I go to this day I can see eights. My entire job was to get them not there. You know how I did it? Talking. So daddy I was like, I go, okay well just so you know I hit two home runs in baseball today. What? What? Huh? Yeah daddy, first pitch. Where was the first one? Hey daddy, first pitch was up and in and I just stayed back, stayed back, stayed back, fired my hips, kept my hands inside the ball. pulled it right over right field. He's in. Wow. That's awesome, Eddie. Yeah. Where was the other one? The other one. And I'd get him over to the couch. I said, the other one, daddy was a curve ball was lowing in. I started to get out over my front foot. Like you said not to, but I kept my hands back and I slapped it over the left field fence. Wow. So daddy, you didn't have any good meetings. Well, my second one, what happened? And I'd get him on the couch. If I could get him there for 45 minutes, he'd forget about the eight drinks and sober up. My mom and sisters could come downstairs and we would have a normal. evening as a family. I will never speak about what would happen if I failed. Those were some rough nights for this little guy right here. What I didn't know is God was saying, little boy, if you can survive this pain, when you're 15, he's going to get sober. And on the other side of this temporary pain, I'm going to give you the two gifts you will utilize to reach millions of people around the world. That's what happened. So if you're going through any pain right now, or any pain is forthcoming, what you need to be looking for is I'm going to survive this. I'm going to get through this on the other side of it. I'm getting a gift for it I'm going to get a relationship a friend a referral a center of influence a thought a mindset a system Something i'm going to get some of you came to this conference Reluctantly because you're going through a painful experience. My sense is there's a gift waiting for you somewhere at this thing Maybe it's this talk. Maybe it's something else That changed my life. By the way, let me tell you one more thing that changed my life By the way, good news. My dad got sober when I was 15 And never had a drink again the rest of his life. Okay now You What's interesting about this, what's really interesting about it is that's why I don't think you can change your life. I know you can. I watched my hero do it. I watched my dad live a terrible life my first 15 years and the best life of any man I've ever met the next 40. The best. Shifted. By the way, I wrote a book called The Power of One More. The reason one is in there is there's so many ones in my life. When my dad got sober, he decided to give it one more try. When he got sober, I said, Daddy, are you never going to drink again? He goes, Eddie, I can't tell you that. Here's what I can promise you. I won't drink for one more day at a time. And that lasted the rest of his life. Something more powerful I'm going to share with you is going to blow your mind. Here we go. Now the learning starts. After my dad died, after I had written the book about two years ago, I woke up in the middle of the night sobbing. About 3 a.m. My wife has seen me cry two times. Once when my dad died. because he's my hero. Man, do I miss my dad right now. I've had a rough year. I wish I could talk to my dad. Wish I could talk to my dad. Biggest thing I learned from my dad in AA is to focus on the things I can control and to let go of the fact that I'm a hero. things I cannot control. You want to have a great life? You make those distinctions. You control what you can and you give the rest of it to God. And you do not obsess over things you cannot control. If I learned one lesson from my father through tumultuous times, it's what can I control right now? And I give up any attachment. See, the reason you're successful is you're a control freak. The reason you're also not happy. is because you're a control freak. You have not learned to distinguish between the things that are within your control and not in your control, and as a result, you are emotionally out of control and unstable. That distinction changed my life. I'm crying. My wife goes, honey, what's wrong? I go, babe, someone helped daddy. She said, what, honey? I said, someone helped daddy. She goes, what are you talking about? It's the middle of the night. I go, I never thought about this before. Someone helped my dad get sober. And I don't know who they are. I've never met them before. And by the way, what's crazy is my dad told me the story later. I remember this night we were at the church. My mom and my sisters and I were at the church. We spent the night in the church. And the reason we spent the night in the church is my mom had left my dad that night. My dad decided to go kill himself that night. My dad told me the story later. Eddie, I was taking my life that night. So some precious human being, check this out, saved my dad's life. They helped my dad get sober. I don't know who they are, and they likely don't. know I'm his son. They don't know the ripple effect of helping one human being with his son has reached millions of people on every continent in the world. Is that crazy? The ripple effect of helping one person. You don't know the ripple effect of you getting one family into a home. doesn't get divorced and those kids are stable or their credit card debt gets consolidated and now they live a healthy financial life you don't know the ripple effect when those kids go to college someday that guy becomes a heart surgeon and saves a life the ripple effect of the work we do is fascinating in life when you think about it she goes oh my god honey that's incredible that somebody saved your family i said you know what's more incredible by the way i'll give you a hint hack i found him i found the guy now by the way it gets crazier you know how cool god is you know who cool God is I have a totally dorky name named Edward that was also my dad's name also my grandfather's name I'm Edward Michael Joseph Milet the third guess what this dude's name is Ed what are the odds of that I said, babe, that's not the most incredible part. You know what the most incredible part is? What qualified this man to help my dad? What were his qualifications? Is that he was so amazing? Impeccable resume? Perfect life? Just like a saint? Nope. Guess what qualified him? He was also a drunk. He was also a drug addict. He also lived in the shadows for a good part of his life. Lied to his family for a good part of his life. Was ashamed of himself for a good part of his life. You know why? Ready? Because in life you're most qualified to help the person you used to be. Let me say that to you again. In life, you're most qualified to help the person you used to be. This man was perfect for my dad. By the way, a lot of you think you're disqualified from winning because of some financial setback. You're not. That's the adversary lying to you. You're disqualified because you cheated on somebody. You're disqualified because you had a bankruptcy. You're disqualified because you come in here with a drug or alcohol problem. You're disqualified because you've done some things you're ashamed of in your life. You believe that's disqualified you. That's the adversary using your sins against you to try to get you to settle to be average and ordinary. Maybe you just think you're disqualified because you've always been average. You've always been invisible, so you're always going to be. Your past is what disqualifies you. All of that is a lie of the adversary. The truth is you're most qualified to help those you used to be. So if you used to not know anything about debt or mortgage or real estate, and now you know a little bit, you're qualified to help those people. If you used to be an unhappy person, You're slightly more happy you can help unhappy people if you used to be a broken person and you're slightly less broken now You can help broken people the reason I'm pretty good at this is I've been screwed up most of my life The reason I can connect with most people is I know what it's like to feel inferior insecure ashamed of your family Not real smart not real talented not real gifted not real special I know what it's like to sin and make mistakes and do things you're ashamed of What I've learned is that means I'm qualified to help all kinds of people because I'm all kinds of screwed up. Can I get an amen to that? Say yes. So don't forget this. I told you this is going to be good. Now here we go. How do you do it? Let me tell you about Sally here. I'm blessed that I own, I'm going to brag, but this is to teach a story and I think it's fitting for you. I literally created this for this group. I own an island. A couple years ago I bought an island. My dream has always had my own island, my own place. When I'm done with this place, it'll be the greatest property in the United States. Bar none. Its own island on the ocean, 15,000 square feet of ocean frontage. That's just the ocean part. build my own golf course right now eight homes a saloon horses birds it's pretty bitchin right my wife's there right now I can't wait to get back a couple days I built it there was like well this golf course you're building it's a hundred million dollar like hundred million dollar property like, you know, it's just for me and my son and my friends. I have a full-time golf course superintendent, crew, equipment, everything. It's just for my son and I and any friends I have come over. They're like, what? The contractor every month, I gotta be honest with you, blows them away. I don't use debt on residential stuff. Every month I'm writing this guy $3 million checks. Every month. I've been doing it for three years. I got two years to go. He's like, excuse my language. He's like, who the fuck can write $3 million checks every fucking month? I go, me. Been in a lot of pain. My family's going to heal out here. This is Sally. Sally is a, we're pretty blessed. She's bald eagle. She was married to George. Found Sally one day very sad because George was just to the right. I tried to feed the two of them. Turns out George was in a bad way. I took him to the bird sanctuary and they couldn't save him. I tell you this story because I think it's fitting for where most of you are right now. Sally's a bald eagle. She was eight years old. They lived to about 12 or 14. Now, there's a meme on Instagram that's a lie. If you hear it, Anthony Hopkins is voiceovering it. It talks about how eagles pull their feathers and their beaks out and they can live to 30 years old. It's not true. But I can tell you what is true. Sally had a decision to make. She was eight years old. She'd just lost her husband. She'd gone through a very difficult time. If she doesn't change and remake herself, she dies within the next two or three years. I watched her literally remake herself the next year. Every time I'd see her, she was flying more than she used to. And she'd go up on these rocks and peck her beak against it. I'm like, she's going to ruin her beak. She wasn't. She was remaking her beak. And then when the beak became... She became new and got sharper. She started plucking out her feathers. She went from this beautiful bird that was all dark. I thought, this is weird. She was plucking all the unnecessary feathers out of her life. Then she sharpened her claws. Then I went away for the winter and I came back and there's this brand new nest up there. She found another dude. Now, I don't know how bald eagles find each other. I have literally no idea. I don't even know how this shit works. I'm just telling you, next thing I know, there's a dude living up in the nest with her. She remade herself during a difficult time. She sharpened her beak. She pulled out all the feathers that didn't work anymore. She reassessed what her vision and her dreams were for her life and she went to work on it. Here's what's crazy. This is just a dumb video. See if I could show you this. There she is. Not happy that I'm out here. That's one of those. That's her. And this is just to show you that it's actually a true story, that's all. There's her nest up there. This is the golf hole. By the way, you golfers, how about that little shot into the par 3? Pretty cool, huh? Every shot's got an ocean hole. Here she goes. Anyway, she's soaring high and beautiful again. In a minute, George joins her. They're out there. By the way, 8 foot wingspan. This doesn't do justice how beautiful this animal is. 8 feet. Why? She's a monster. She flies about 50 miles an hour. Anyway, I tell you all this because she created a whole brand new life with this guy in a difficult time by remaking herself, sharpening her claws, sharpening her beak, and pulling out all the feathers that no longer work together. Here's the crazier part. They now say she'll live to mid-20s. She literally doubled or tripled her life expectancy by making a decision at the worst time. I bring this up to you because if you are going through a little bit of a difficult time or a transition time, or even if you're... not, I regularly pull all the feathers out of my life that don't serve me anymore. I'm regularly sharpening my beak. I don't like doing it all the time. I'm tired of it, to be honest with you. I really am. But it's become who I am. I want to live as long and as prosperously and as happily and as blissfully as I possibly can, and that doesn't happen if you don't remake yourself on a regular basis. I watched her do it, and I would challenge you to evaluate today. What parts of you need to be remade? Well, parts of your business, I was hearing a lot of stuff on the panel that was up here. It was an incredible panel, by the way. One of the things that I have found with my friends that have flourished in the mortgage business is they are hyper-crazy psycho about the customer experience. They don't have customer service. They have customer experience. They're obsessed. Like, the way they do it is so incredibly radically unique that the amount of referral business they get that's on overflow is crazy to me. I would challenge you to evaluate that experience. I challenge you to evaluate everything in your life. Because let me tell you one thing I've figured out. People always go, man, when you make your dreams come true, it's better than you could have possibly ever imagined in your life. You ever heard that before? I could tell you that I don't think it is. I think working really hard, I know a bunch of people that have made their dreams come true and they get there and they go, is this all there is? Some of you in the room know exactly what I'm talking about. Your dream of making three or four hundred grand a year and it happened, you're like, that's it? Or a million a year? It's not as good. Having a Ferrari, it's not as good as you think. It's not. It's good for like six weeks. It's not as good. I'm just telling you. But I can tell you what's better. If you become successful on a level that's bigger than you have before, it's the dreams you will make come true of other people. That is way better than you can imagine. It's the dreams you will make come true of other people. in particular people in your family that don't even have the dream yet right now. I have a sister who's diabetic. She was born with diabetes. She lost her vision. She went blind. She was suicidal. Through the relationships I had and doctors I knew, I found someone that cured me. or blindness. When I started in my business journey, my sister didn't know she was going to go blind. I have this fantasy someday of my great-grandson being on that island playing golf with his death. He's not even born yet. I won't be there to see it. But to me, that's greater than anything I could possibly imagine in my life. I'll tell you a quick story about it. I bought this island. The way that it happened was the real estate agent, Ryland wasn't expensive. It was only $10 million. It's the $90 million that's preceded it that concerns my friends and family. But I always said I wanted to own an island. The real estate agent was smart. She got a listing. She had heard me on a podcast. She called me. It's a Saturday. I'm living in Laguna Beach. She goes, hey, I've got this island for sale. It's going to go quick. Blah, blah, blah. I go, islands don't go quick. But whatever. you know and she goes uh she tells me about it and it's in New England where you were born in Boston and blah blah blah and it's in Portland Maine and I know you love this area and it's the best summers in the world the best food in the world like I'll be there Tuesday I grabbed my daughter I said Bella we're jumping on the plane we're flying to Portland Maine I'll take you to a Red Sox game and we'll go look at Boston University it was at that time we do that we as we're boating up to it the guy that took me on the water taxi's got a prosthetic leg and as we're boating I said I noticed your leg what happened because I lost it in Vietnam and you It's just kind of a passing conversation. Well, thank you for your service. And in passing, he tells me as we're pulling up that he's a part of this group of severe PTSD. They do these retreats and yada, yada, yada. I said, that's great. I'm focused on this island when I see it. Before we even get there, Bella goes, Daddy, just please buy this. Please buy this. I'm like, Bella, this is a fortune. Anyway, I look at it for like six hours. I get back on the boat. He goes, how was it? I go, he goes, the owner doesn't let anybody on. I go, I'm buying it, but don't tell him because I'm going to negotiate hard. And as we get back on the water text, he's about a fifth. 15-minute ride. He goes, man, that place would be unbelievable for the retreats we do. I go, yeah, if I buy it, maybe we'll do one out there. I just say it in passing. I buy the island. It's about three months later. The same guy, Bill, takes me out there on the water taxi. And he goes, hey, were you serious about doing one of these retreats for the vets with PTSD? I said, huh? Yeah, yeah. He goes, okay, well, it'll cost you this or this. And I go, okay, I'll do it. Kind of reluctantly, because my mouth opened up a check. My butt didn't want to cash, right? So anyway, they scheduled the retreat in November. These guys have pretty heavy-duty PTSD. I forget it's scheduled. By God's grace, I'm on the island. I show up there to check on some construction, and when I get there, they go, you know, they're in the middle of that retreat. So don't go down there by the main house where all the guys are staying. I said, why? They go, bro, they don't talk to each other. This is really weird. They're all a little different. They don't even know. know each other's names they've been here a day and a half and it ends tomorrow and uh i don't you know just you'll be uncomfortable i go okay and i start a couple steps away and i go hey aren't they doing that dinner down there tonight they go oh it's not fancy it's like a little table with like a white cloth i go can i go to the dinner You sure? I go, yeah, I would like to go. So I walk down later that night to the dinner and there's all these heroes out there that don't think they're heroes and they're all kind of in their own corner drinking a beer and I go by and introduce myself to each one of them. Some of them make eye contact, some of them don't. Some of them couldn't believe the owner came down and and we sit down at this table for the dinner. That's the table No one's talking When we sit down, I mean nobody awkward silence And little insecure means kind of coming up from when i'm even a little boy And then finally, uh, the one of the hosts goes ed, you know, it's amazing. You've built this life why don't you tell us your story? And I go, well, son of an alcoholic, drug addict, my life changed and I went to work at this orphanage. All my boys at that orphanage, they were removed from their families. Their parents had either molested them, were dead, or were incarcerated. And when I went to work at this orphanage, my life changed. I found out I loved serving people. I loved making a difference. And that's how my business career actually started. I was making six bucks an hour at an orphanage. It's a long story, but that's how my life changed. I got emotional for a minute in front of these strong men thinking about my boys from 30 years ago that are now still in my life. They're like my sons. And I said, you know what's crazy about it is you're most qualified in life to help the people you used to be. I come from a dysfunctional family. They did. I connected with these boys immediately. I was perfect for them. I just didn't know it. I'm so uncomfortable, I haven't even looked to my left yet. This man's been sitting here now for about 30 minutes. I'm kind of watery-eyed talking about my boys. And he goes, well, I go, any of you guys want to tell me your story? Because I know they've never talked about it. This guy goes, well, I will. I'm Ollie. And I turn, and I go, Ollie, how old are you? I'm 93. He goes, I just wanted to tell you thank you. This is the most beautiful place I've ever seen. Six weeks ago, I lost my wife of 70 years. And it's just amazing to be here. She'd be so happy that I'm here. This has been so cathartic, so wonderful, so incredible. I can't believe you came down here and had dinner with us tonight. This hero is thanking me. I said, Ollie, do you mind telling me where you serve? He goes, I don't talk about it much. I go, okay. He goes, the Korean War. The Korean War? And he starts saying, sharing some things that will stay in that room about why he struggled for 70 years with what happened there. And then this guy jumps in and goes, Hi, well, I'm Victor. I lost my leg like your boat captain in Vietnam. I was a medic there and all of a sudden he goes, I've never said this before and he starts crying. Within three days I was picking up eyeballs and ears of my best friends. I've picked up more body parts and... limbs than I wish to tell you about. And I've just had a hard time with it. He's from Compton. Ollie's from Vermont. Then this kid over here goes, I won't say his name, he goes, he's from Houston. Texas from Houston Texas I did three tours in Afghanistan one in Iraq he starts talking this man gets up and goes and hugs and consoles him then this guy says I did tour in Kuwait I did four in Afghanistan and I lost my brother when we were over there so they pulled me out and it ended up being this unbelievable experience life-altering experience where we all shared and poured our hearts out and for some of them it was the first time since they left those war zones I don't know what happened I just know that I was a little boy in temporary pain, and if you're a little bit less broken than you used to be, something happened in that room. This is us two hours later. Everybody's sitting around their table, sharing stories, these beautiful men. This is the next day. Can't see it very well. There's my dude with his prosthetic leg. That's Ollie. All of a sudden, they're hugging. They become friends. They become very close. They've built a community. that supports one another. There's Ollie again. You can't separate those two anymore. We've done 11 of those retreats now with different heroes on the island. Now, I tell you that not to brag. It's okay. I tell you that is, I tell you that because I didn't know that's why I bought the island. It's not... for just my family i didn't know that's why i stayed up early i got up early in the morning and stayed up late that's why i wrote out the bad markets that's why i dealt with all the critics i didn't know when people were stealing from me and talking bad about me and doing bad business deals with me i had no idea when i was going through all of that that it would lead to making the dreams come true of these heroes some of which were born 40 years before me Some of which have grandsons who will see a different version of their grandfather for the first time. He's never hugged them or told them he loved them before they came to Hope Island. By the way, the name of the island is Hope Island. It was named that 200 years ago. Isn't that crazy? I didn't know when I was grinding in my business and doing all the work I did, thinking I'm going to own an island, I'm going to be a big shot, I'm going to show pictures. I didn't know. That's not why I own the island. That's why I own the island. So as good as you think it is to make your dreams come true, it's not. it's way better when you make other people's dreams come true than you think it is. Can I get an amen to that? Say yes. Why do I tell you this? There's got to be a part of you at this event right now that reignites your dream again. audit it. What do I really want out of my life? How do I really want to live the next 10 or 20 or 30 years of my life? Who do I really want to be? How am I going to use my business and my relationships, my context to remake myself again? Pull the... there's feathers off sharpen my beak forget all that how do you get reconnected like you did when you were young when you were new and you were in the hunt and you were struggling you didn't know anything and it was the happiest you ever been because you were back in the game man back in the grind about competing again. That ignorance, you know too much now, that's your problem. You know too much. You've had too many people hurt you, you know too much about the market, too much about the business, too much about life, and you're a slightly jaded, cynical, cool person now. And the way to live our lives is to drop all that and to be a kid again. And let me tell you why that matters. There's Ollie again. I can't get enough of Ollie, as you could tell. By the way, before I tell you this story, if you want my help at all, I have no products that cost... money good news if you scan that QR code I think my team sends you like how I run my schedule in my day you get all my content if you don't want it don't scan it I don't care I have nothing to sell you there's no upsell there's no clickfunnel there's no nothing if you don't get that thing scanned you can go to Ed my let calm put your email in there I'll help you I literally exist to help entrepreneurs win people win I admire you that's why I talk pretty tough I admire you I look I in many ways I look up to you I think the biggest compliment you give somebody is I see part of myself in you I know what it's like just it's hard running a business man and a family and a life just a lot you come here everyone's partying their ass off it's good two or three days and then when you get back to the airplane in a couple days you're like oh now I gotta go back to that thing again I don't want you to fear it. I want you to embrace it with a new dream and a new vision and a new hope. You know? You know? Do you know? Yes? Why does it matter? That's my dad. I've talked enough about him. I want to tell you about him. Great picture of me, by the way. Thank you to my team That's my sister andrea with diabetes in the middle. That's my hero not because he was perfect but because he changed That's my dad and I at andrea's wedding just validation that we were both good looking at one time Those are the three Ed Milets that I told you about earlier. That's my papa in the middle. That's my dad on the left and me on the right. Papa's my hero. Any of you have anybody when you were a little boy or a little girl that just when they looked at you or talked to you, they just made you feel special? Was it your mom or dad or an uncle or a coach or a pastor or a teacher? 80% of you have that person. Just your little girl, little boy, they would look at you. You were their special one. You have their face pictured, whoever it is, do you? By the way, if you don't have that person, I apply for the position, seriously. I'm not being funny. I'll believe in you. You can DM me, message me. I get about 1,500 a day. I get back to almost everybody. It may take me three or four days, but I'll get back to you. I'll create content for you and I'll help you. If you're willing to help other people with your problem, prosperity, I'm willing to help you, just like that person helped my dad. Mine was Papa, because my dad was a drunk. Papa didn't finish the fourth grade. The reason Papa didn't finish the fourth grade is this is what I actually come from. Papa's dad died when he was in the fourth grade. He drowned. in a gutter in front of a bar in South Boston, Massachusetts, passed out drunk and no one helped him. I come from three generations away from a man who drowned in a gutter. That's Puppa's dad. Puppa's a stud. He stormed the beaches of Normandy on D-Day. with his buddies. He's a stud. When I was a little boy, Papa would pick me up. He had this blue van. My grandfather worked in the presses at a newspaper. He's a pressman. And he would look at me and go, Eddie, you're going to do something great with your life. That's why I said it to you. I said, I am big, Papa. Hundreds of times. You're the special one. God gave you Papa's blue eyes. You're going to do just good. I said, I am, Papa. And he would tell me over and over, Eddie, you're going to change the world. You're the special one, Eddie. And I would just look at him because my house was so screwed up. I am, Papa. Yes, you are. Remember when other grandkids were born? He goes, they named you after me. Remember when my cousin Peter was born? Papa called me, Eddie, cousin Peter, six pounds, ten ounces, he's amazing, he's going to be incredible. And I said, he is, Papa. And he goes, but hey, one thing, just remember. I go, what's that? He goes, you're still my favorite. That was my guy. That was my guy. You picture yours? If you have that person, they just made, can I say something on their behalf? They were right. They were right about you. Maybe you've long since forgotten how they made you feel. I think they're right here. They were right. I'm just speaking for them. They were right. You ought to prove them right. If they're still here, make them proud of you while they're here. If they're gone, honor them with the man or woman you're becoming. They were right. Three days after this picture was taken, Papa died. He's got goosebumps all over my legs, just so you know, whatever that means. When I just told you they were right, I got goosies everywhere. I'm a Christian, so that's the Holy Spirit going, that one was good. My dad moved into Papa's seat right when Papa died. I remember thinking, my gosh, like that, like a flicker. Dad's in Papa's seat, I'm in Dad's seat. Like that, life's flying by. This is my dad and I about, I don't know, 10 years later, golfing. My favorite thing in the world was to golf with my hero, my dad. Neither one of us are good golfers. We didn't agree on almost anything, politics, religion, nothing. He's my best friend, man. That's the dude who had my back. I ever needed anything. I could call one man in the world. No judgment. I got you. Where are we burying the body? Let's go. That was my dad Right. You ever have that person? That was my dad what I would give Man, listen to me Do you know what I would give right now to get to play golf one more time with my father? You could take your stupid island in your jet. You give me five hours with that guy I would love to talk to my dad about what I'm going through right now. I would love to watch my father, my only dad, walk right across that green, get back in the golf cart. This close to me. Put his arm on me. Good putt, kiddo. Thanks, dad. My dad could care less about my wealth, could care less about my fame. My jet was parked one mile from my dad's house. Multiple planes. My dad never got on it once. I'd say, Dad, let's fly to Hawaii and go play some golf, man. Let's go. He'd be like, why would I go there? It's Planchino by the prison. I don't care about the golf course. I care about my son. Are you calling your sisters? Are you giving most of your money away? Are you reading your Bible? Are you being a good man? That's all my dad cared about. This day, my dad and I were golfing. My dad had a very deep voice, very similar voice to mine. And that day, he was like, hey, pal. And he was playing real slow. I said, hey, what's going on with you? You don't sound good. You don't look good. He goes, yeah. this pain in my chest. I said, how long you had it? He goes, yeah, eight months. I go, you need to get this shit checked. What are you doing? I go, you're going in on Monday. I'll have my team set it up. My dad went in on Monday. Tuesday, 12-hour surgery. Removed a tumor the size of a football from my dad's chest. They got about 80% of it. He was diagnosed with liposarcoma, a very rare form of cancer, particularly in men. When my dad got the cancer, he was diagnosed with liposarcoma. answer. He said, Eddie, here's the deal. I'll fight this one time. You know how it goes. Lose your hair. I'm not doing all that stuff. I'll fight it one time. If it comes back, that's it. Game over for me. I said, fair enough, but fight it. He said, deal. That's not what happened. My dad fought it for eight years. Surgery, surgery, chemo, chemo, radiation, proton therapy, surgery, chemo, experimental chemo, proton, radiation, surgery, surgery, chemo. eight years. I say, Dad, watch this. Wait, just so you see this. You see that? Every time I'd see my dad, I knew I was losing him. Exactly what he said happened. He was shriveling up. He lost his hair. See what my dad's wearing? White shirt and golf glasses. You want to know why he's wearing that? Because my dad and I could never play golf ever again after that picture I showed you. But I taught my dad all the visualization. techniques I teach in my book. So every day during chemo for five hours, my dad literally has the most specific visualization of he and I golfing together. Every shot, every ball, every dimple on it, I've taught him exactly what I teach all my athletes and business people. My dad golfed with me every day till he died. But we never were at a golf course. My dad got dressed every day for eight years to play golf with his son. There is no picture of my father not wearing that. I say, Dad, you said you weren't going to go through this and suffer. And how about, he goes, Eddie, I'm not suffering. I'm in pain, and there's a difference, and it's temporary. I said, why are you going through it? He goes, listen to me. When you are threatened with never having one more day with your family, you'll do anything to get one more day. I didn't know that when this came down. He goes, I'll do anything to get one more dinner with your mom. Talk to my son one more time. Maybe get to one of my granddaughter's weddings. Maybe I'll see old Max play one more golf tournament. Maybe I'll see little Alex play one more basketball game. Maybe I'll be around to see a great-grandkid born. You'll do anything to get another day with your family. That's eight months later. Don't you think about my family right now, you think about your family. You think about your family, the last seven, eight minutes here. Deal? That's my family. Every time I saw him, he was in pain. He would go through that pain, see his granddaughter, see his son, see what he's wearing. See what he's wearing? We played golf every day. That's my dad during COVID in the hospital. That's my only dad. That's my only dad. Only got one. See what he's wearing? In the hospital. I couldn't come up and hug him. We weren't allowed to go up. I couldn't touch him. I stayed in the parking lot every day. This day, my dad called me. Hey, what you doing? I said, I'm down here writing a chapter in the book. What are you doing? He goes, just played Pebble Beach with my son. He goes, guess what? I said, what? He goes, I played lights out. I shot 67. I finally birdied 18. Great shot into the green. I said, that's awesome. He goes, yeah, I don't know how to tell you this. I'm like, what? He goes, you played like shit. I go, shut up. He goes, my lunch is here. I got to go. He hangs up. An hour and a half later, my dad called me and my life changed. Hey kiddo. I said, what's going on? He goes, I want to go home. You think about your family. I said, what? He goes, yeah, I want to go home. Not doing so good. I want to go home. I want to be with mom and my own. Get your sisters and come over. I said, Dad, you're going to get another steroid shot. You're going to rally. Come on, man. You know that. I'll never forget this. All the one mores in my life. He goes, Eddie, listen to me. I have one more day. My stomach sank. I said, what? I have one more day. I'm going to be at home with my family. Please. I said, I'll call your doctor. I called his doctor. I said, Doc, Dad's talking crazy. Like, says he's got one more day and take him home. He goes, Ed, send an ambulance and take your dad home. I said, what? He goes, Ed, they know. I said, who's they? Someone who's going to die, Ed. They know. Send an ambulance. Take your dad home. That's three hours later. That's my dad coming home one more time. By the way, someday you will come home one more time. Who do you want to be in that moment? What do you want to felt, experienced, the memories with the people you love, the difference you've made in your life? Who you became. Who do you want to be when you have one more day left in your life? That's why I came here today. To remind you you were born to do something great with your life. And to sincerely ask you, brother, sister, who do you want to be when you have one more day? What did you see? What did you feel? What did you give? What are your memories? What are your experiences? By the way, that's my mom watching her precious husband of 50 years come home one more time. That man or woman you love, someday you will watch them come home one more time. You got a problem with someone right now, fix it. It's not worth it. You've been holding on to something, let it go. You've been afraid to go for something in your life, stop that shit, go for it now. It's like a flicker, man. That's my mom watching her precious husband come home one more time. By the way, that's the staircase I sent her up to hide. That's the liquor cabinet, it's still there, that I would get him away from. Listen to me, that's the same man when I was a little four-year-old I was terrified from. From the same door I watched him come through that door the last time, a totally different man. My dad, by the way, helped thousands of people get sober. I never knew it. Because you're most qualified in life to help those you used to be. I watched a totally different man come through that front door one more time. You can change your life. This is my precious dad with one more hour left. One more hour. Who do you want to be when you have one more hour? Who do you want to be? My dad woke up about 20 minutes after this. My whole life was worth it in this moment. He goes, I'm so proud of you. All the shit's worth it. Totally worth it. I can't believe God gave you to me as my only son. I love you. He closed his eyes and about 20 minutes later my father took one more breath with his family around him and he was gone. Watch this. You see that? Ready? Watch. Watch. Like a flicker. Like a flicker. Like a flicker, like a flicker, life flies by. Just yesterday we were there with Papa. Just yesterday we were at the wedding. Just yesterday I was a little boy. Life goes like this, man. Like a flicker, time's running out on you. Your problem is you think everybody else is going to die, not you. I don't know when it is, but I know it's coming, man. Like that, like a flicker, it's over. You might as well go for it. You might as well run up the score. After my dad died, I found all these index cards in his room. You know what these are? The dates of the people whose sobriety birthday my dad helped get sober. Thousands of them. Because you're most qualified to help those you used to be. Now check this out. After my dad died, I got four minutes here. It's hard for me. I don't like this talk. After my father died, my sisters were in the other room, and it was about an hour and a half before the hearse would come. And my sisters did not want to be in the room with him. I said, I will be. And I'll never forget this. I walked back in the room, and there was my dad. And I want to share something very personal with you. I knew instantly when I walked in there that wasn't my dad anymore. My dad was gone. That was his body, but my dad's soul was gone. So you are not your bodies. You're not. By the way, in the room my dad was in was all of his awards, his accolades. He couldn't take any of those with him. You're not your awards and your accolades. By the way, we were in my dad's house, one of his possessions. My dad's car was parked in the driveway. He didn't take that with him either. By the way, when my dad was dying in the hospital, he said, take me home. He didn't say, bring me my possessions. Bring me my money. Bring me my awards. He said, bring me my family. When it gets down to at the end of your life, it'll be the people, not the things. People matter, things don't. It'll be the people you love that your story will be written about. So we're not our possessions. My dad, by the way, had worries and problems and fears. He took none of those with him. So you take none of those things with you. The question then becomes, if you don't take those things with you, what do you want to leave here? My dad left something here. He left me here. He left his legacy. He left his family. He left his energy He left something real special here. What do you want to leave here? And those are the decisions that I came here to make remember in the beginning when I said, um I just kind of want this to be a slightly life-changing event for you Maybe this much or maybe this much Okay Somewhere in there. You need to make a decision to change your life in your decisions. Your destiny is shaped I did not come here to talk at you for a hundred grand Okay, I came here to impact your life. I came here because you matter brother you matter sister You were born to do something great with your life and just remember this last thing Last thing, when you see, I remember when I was a little boy, I'd see these happy families or rich families. I'd be like, who are these people? I remember, man, they don't yell in their house. Like they seem happy or they're rich. Remember this, when you see a happy family or a rich family, here's what's good to know. Somewhere back in their lineage, they weren't. They weren't until one thing happens. the one shows up. We've talked about all the ones today. In every family there's the one and that one person changes that family's legacy forever from being an unhappy family or a family with no faith to a faith-based family with love and happiness and bliss because with our children, it's caught, not taught. So maybe that's the change that needs to happen. Or maybe it's financial. When you see a rich family, somewhere back in there, they weren't. In my family, I'm the one. I'm the one who went to work. I stayed up late. I got up early. I took the hits. I dealt with the rejection. I dealt with the stress. I carried the emotional load of winning for the Milet family so the world will never have their thumb on the Milets again. We call the shots now, man. We walk in a room. They know who we are. We give to other people. We make other people's dreams come true. My nieces and nephews think different than I did when I was a little boy. We're a pretty damn happy, pretty faith-based, damn rich family now because I'm the one. My dad was the catalyst by making that. that decision, and then I went for it. If while I was talking today, you felt any sense of emotion of any type, you're the one. You're the one. If you felt anything today, that's the spirit confirming for you, you're the one. And it might be in small ways and big ways, it might be subtle change, it may be major change, but my hallucination is the vast majority of you in this room are the one. it's never who you'd pick it's the not so bright shy insecure you'd never pick them they're not the ones you'd see coming but they just keep coming they keep getting up they're relentless they keep getting up you can't keep these people down they think they're down they think they're going to quit somehow they get back up, they get back up, they get back up. Why? Because they love their family more than they're afraid, more than they're tired, more than they're insecure, more than how bad it is. They will fight for their families because they love them more than the adversity. And when you attach your love for other people to your big dreams, you pretty much become an unstoppable force because that's what you were born to do, was to help people just like you. Does that make sense everybody? Say yes. Can I get an amen? Can we potentially finish? a little louder than we started. Anyway, thank you guys for the time today. I hope today helped you. Thanks so much. All right. Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your next keynote speaker to the stage. Best-selling author, speaker, coach, and entrepreneur, Ed Milet. Thank you.

All right. That might be the weakest applause I've walked out to in like eight years. What the hell's wrong with you guys? You get a little noise? A little better.

Jeez. All right. A little better. Thank you. Make a man feel welcome.

Good to be with you guys. So we've got an hour. Here's what I'd like to do for this hour. It's what I say every time I speak.

I want this to be a life-transforming hour for me and you. And I don't know if it will be this much transformation or this much, but by the end that you and I are both a little bit different. Are you at least open to that possibility? Yes?

All right, cool. Good to be with you. I know the market's been booming the last three or four years, so you guys probably don't need any of my advice, but I'm kidding. I have a lot of friends in this industry, probably more friends in this industry than any industry, so I've got a lot of admiration for what you do.

I also have a lot of admiration for those that weed through these difficult times. They pick up all the market share, and then when it turns around like it's about to, all the money pours their way, and people think you're lucky. And you're not lucky.

It's because of what you've had to go through the last several years, the mental toughness, the resiliency, the adjusting, the scaling back, the scaling up, all the things you've got to do. I really admire it because your industry is like this. It takes some real mental resilience and some innovation to be successful, and I really admire it. I've built different companies in different industries.

I've had exits. I've been lucky. to, you know, in my life make hundreds of millions of dollars and get financially independent many, many years ago.

I speak because I love it. I love people. I love helping people.

I love inspiring people. And there were people that did that for me, which is why I now kind of love doing it myself. So anyway, great to be with you. Really great to be with you.

That video's a trip, isn't it? Kind of cheesy. My team made it about a year ago, and every time I speak, I actually watch it because it reminds me of how blessed I am. All those are my homes.

Isn't that crazy? And if you knew me, you knew where I come from, you would know that that's not really me. I've been able to coach. and interview or mentor people from every industry. People who have led big countries like this one.

And athletes, entertainers. I have a call right when I'm done on the way back to the airport with a UFC fighter who you're about to hear just signed a real big fight. that I work with. And so I'm really blessed that I get to do all that stuff. But that's really not who I am.

Here's who I really am. Could you put your phone down, brother? Thanks.

You're in the front row, man. Let's put your phone down. Here's who I really am.

And I'll call you out, any of you on it. I'm the son of an alcoholic and a drug addict. That's who I really am. And I always will be.

I'm 53 years old. All that stuff's sort of bullshit, to be honest with you. I'm really the son of an alcoholic and a drug addict.

I'm also a... sinner saved by the grace of God, by the way. And that's who I really am. And so, and that never leaves you.

I don't know, any of you grow up with any neglect in your family at all? Anybody? I don't know, divorce, bankruptcy, they didn't hug you enough, whatever. I saw my mom the other day, I'm like, mom, we didn't even have like water back then. I'm old enough, remember when there was no water?

Like I never drank a water before I was like 15 years old. It's just the strangest shit. But I had a very interesting upbringing. I had a good friend of mine, by the way, my wife I met in kindergarten.

And out of our kindergarten class, three couples got married eventually one day. Tell me that's not weird. And by the way, I didn't grow up in some podunk town.

I grew up in Southern California. Three couples. And two of us are still married. And interestingly enough, one of them ended up being the valedictorian. She was my wife, and her were the two smart girls all the way through high school.

And she called me after, you know, some good stuff's happened. I had the number one book in the world two years ago. And I had a TV show at the time. And she said, hey, we're just so proud of you, Joe.

Joe and I, you know, with all the neglect you grew up with, you know, the way life's turned out, it's just amazing. We're so proud of you. And I love this girl very much. She's a dear friend. I've known her, like I said, 47 years.

And I've known my wife 47 years, too. And I said, I won't say her name because you might know her. I said, can I just be honest with you? I think you neglect your kids.

And I've always wanted to tell you, but I've never had the heart to tell you. But since you're being so nice to me today, I figured I'd tell you. I think you neglect your kids.

And she says, what are you talking about? about? We've been married for 26 years.

Neither one of us even drank. Like, what's the neglect? I want you to hear this.

How many of you have kids, by the way? Anybody have kids? It's worth saying. I say this as a dad.

I said, I think you neglect your kids because the most insidious form of child neglect in the world is a child being raised by a parent who's not in pursuit of their dream. or their potential a parent who settles because things with our kids are caught not taught You're teaching them by watching you that it's okay not to be happy. Hey, sweetheart, you can be whatever you want to be.

You can be the President of the United States. Well, why aren't you, Mama? See, at some age, all of us have grown up and we figure out who our parents are.

We love them because they're our dad and our mom. But you figured out who your mom and dad were, didn't you? Your kids figure you out. Hey, son, you can be whatever you want to be. You walk in the room, people will know who you are.

They'll respect you. Well, why don't... They respect you, Dad.

Because Dad at some point started settling. Dad at some point started making excuses. Dad at some point started shrinking his life and his vision and his beliefs.

And your kids don't care whether you own an island or a jet or a desert. They don't care about any of that stuff. What they do care about is your kids.

about however is that you're happy and they know whether or not mommy or daddy are happy because you're the one driving them to school they look at you looking in the rear view mirror they see you on the couch on saturday they know whether mommy or daddy is happy and although your kids may not turn out like you they do catch your emotional home. Our children catch our emotional home. If your emotional home is worry and angst and fear, depression, frustration, maybe just sort of melancholy, your kids catch that. And even though they might have a different career and a different husband and a different that, they catch your emotional home.

Can I get an amen to that? Say yes. By the way, I didn't even know I was gonna say this today.

I'm not your normal one-trick pony speaker. I've got like 80 different talks. So when the Holy Spirit directs... me to say something. Someone in the room needed me to tell them that today.

Get back up. Get going. Live blissfully. Live powerfully.

Become the man or woman you know you're capable of becoming. You were born to do something great with your life. And if anything comes out of today, I'm here just to re-remind you, it's been a difficult time, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

You were born to do something great with your life. I'll say it one more time for you. You, brother, sister, born to do something great with your life. Not the guy typing on his computer right now. He has no chance.

And I'm not kidding. Can you imagine someone comes in worth $800 million and you're typing an email? But you think you're going to win and be big time.

When I had a mentor in my life, I listened close. I take moments of life very preciously. And this one.

I respect you way too much not to give you my A-game today. Hearing me speak is an experience. It's not just a speech.

My wife would tell you that None of that stuff happened because of intellect. I can tell you that. One of the downsides of knowing your wife all your life is she really knows you. And there's a running joke in my family. Like, how does all that happen?

I'll tell you how it all happened. I'll give you some keys. I'm going to give you some keys on growing your business too.

But I can tell you how it didn't happen. It didn't happen with IQ. Can you tell those of you that see me on social we're on this nice guy all the time Can you tell that now that you're in person with me?

There's an intensity to me. Maybe you didn't see before I think you've got to run a little bit hot to win I think you've got to want it more than everybody else. I think you've got to want to compete I think you've got to want dominate in life.

I'm 53 years old. I've had two heart attacks. I still want to kick ass.

I'm still here today. I spoke yesterday. I go to Charlotte tonight when I leave here. I'm after it.

I'm in the hunt. I want to do something great with my life. I'm not wasting days. I don't waste moments.

My wife tells this story. There's a joke in our family, I'll just be honest with you, that I'm not that bright. Now you wouldn't know that publicly when you see my show because I prepare my butt off.

Someone gets interviewed by me, I'm not going to brag, I have the best podcast in the world. And they either don't listen to it, you're crazy. You can see the same person interviewed on my show that's on another show, totally different conversation.

And the guests will regularly tell me, bro, this is different level type conversations because I've actually built something. I've actually done something. So I'm not like a social media talker person. I've built and exited multiple companies. I know exactly I know how to change your life and so when we have these conversations my wife's like I can't even believe this stuff's happened because every year about every I have two kids my daughter is a junior at Clemson and um bang yeah and my son's a professional golfer my son graduated college last year he's now playing pro golf and um about every four years since they were little we would take a family IQ test and the reason I really did I'll be honest with you when you're raised by a father or a mother like many of you who have become more successful than most people in your families.

That can be difficult on a child. If your dad's real well-known or your mom's successful or they live in a good house, and even where they go to school, their friends, for some of you, know. You know, they know something's happened.

That's a hard thing for children. And so I've always wanted my kids to know how average I was or below average, and so the one area I definitely am is intellect. And so we would take this family IQ test like every four or five years and I was fourth out of four every single time we've done it since they were little kids.

True story. True story. And now that they're older, it pisses me off. So this last year, I swear to God this is true, this last year, I'm not lying to you, I trained for the test. Like everyone's asking, why are you reading so many crossword puzzles?

Don't worry about it. I bought this thing called a Mendy. Does anybody even know what this is?

It's a neurofeedback device. It's literally this headband you wear. You know what it is, brother. It's a headband.

You just stare at your, I don't know how, but you stare at your phone, you wear this headband, and you're smarter. And you do it for 10 minutes a day. I did it every day for the year.

They came home for Christmas this year. Christmas Eve, we took the family IQ test. Fourth out of four again.

No offense to the folks at Mendy, you will never sponsor my podcast. I can tell you that right now. I don't care what you pay me. And at dinner that night, you'll get a kick out of this.

My wife told a very funny story that's actually true. So I'll just tell you, then we'll get into how all that stuff happened. It's a true story.

We were in third grade. My wife and I were in third grade together. And Mrs. Hanson was our teacher. Now, I'll just be honest with you.

I fell in love with my wife for two reasons. Number one, she was the hottest girl in kindergarten. In fact, I came home, according to my dad, my dad was home one day drunk.

And I came home the second day drunk. second day of kindergarten, I said, hey, daddy, I'm going to marry this girl in my kindergarten class. And my dad goes, oh, yeah, which one?

I go, the brown one. My kindergarten class was 15 white kids and one Mexican girl. My wife's Mexican, right? And I said, the brown one, daddy.

I'm going to marry the brown one. And he goes, well, they just moved in. I said, where do they live?

He goes, at the end of the street. I said, she lives on our street? This is like gonna happen.

So I fell on my wife because she was hot and also all through all the way to high school she let me copy off her paper because I was stupid. You know that, you remember the kid that would like, the smart kid who would like cover up? You know what I'm talking about, that kid?

You know the dude. He don't have any houses like that, no. Nothing.

My wife would literally, I just loved her. She'd just turn her paper towards me. So it's third grade, Mrs. Hanson's class, true story. I don't think I've ever told this story other than like once or twice.

And we come in. The day before was a spelling test. I know I cheated off of Christiana, my future wife's paper.

We walk in, and Mrs. Hansen is the sweetest lady. She sits down, but she's got this scowl on her face. And my wife's telling my kids this story, which they'll never end up getting out of my family.

Now my grandkids will know it someday. And Mrs. Hansen goes, we have a problem. Everybody sit down.

Somebody cheated on the spelling test yesterday. And I remember, even right now as I tell you this, I swear to you this is true. My heart rate's increasing right now.

I was like, oh, no. because I have an alcoholic, aggressive dad at home too. Right? Oh, no. And she goes, so sit down. She goes, the reason I know somebody cheated is, number one, I have two identical tests here with the same three misspelled words misspelled exactly the same way.

And also, I have two tests here from Christiana and no test from Eddie. I was like, oh my god, I am so f***ing stupid, I copied her name as if this was a question on the test. Christiana instead of Eddie on my test. That's a true damn story. So how does all that stuff happen from somebody like me, now that we've established where I'm at and where you're at?

Here's how it happened. Did I mention earlier that I'm the son of a drug addict? That's how it happened.

Let me tell you some of my theories on success and winning and bliss. I believe that everything you want is on the other side of pain and difficulty. And that if you can survive temporary pain, on the other side of that, if you look... look for it, if your reticular activating system in your brain, your RAS, which I write a great deal about in my books and my work, but you can even set all that aside.

We'll just call it God. On the other side of temporary pain, if you're looking for it, God will give you some type of gift. It could be a new relationship, a new client, a new center of influence, a new thought, a new emotion, a new breakthrough, a new something.

But there's a reward on the other side of temporary pain. Now, the good news is all pain is temporary. In fact, here's the real good news. Everything in life is temporary except our souls.

everything is on the other side of that pain. I had Phil Heath on my show. Phil Heath has won six Mr. Olympians.

He's a stud, big dude, makes me look real puny, right? And I said, Phil, why do you think you won all these Olympians? Not just one, but you could repeat it over and over. And he gave some answer.

And I said, that's just not what it is. He goes, what do you think it is? I said, I think you have a different relationship with pain than average people. All those people that you saw, they're average, ordinary people. They got problems.

They're faking it through life. Trust me, from my... kind of hay to any athlete I've had on.

They're just people. But they have a different relationship with pain than most. I said, Phil, every bodybuilder loves leg day and grinds through leg day. I think you're a psycho and you love it a little bit more.

And all of a sudden you change. That's exactly what it was, man. I love pain.

I said, on the other side of that pain were these massive legs and six Mr. Olympias. That's why you won. I know Arnold real well.

I've known Schwartz for a long time. He had a different relationship with pain, dog. Top UFC fighters I got, different relationship with pain. Whether you like Obama or Trump, forget it, do you agree with me that running, because you don't like them both, right, you like one or the other, would you agree with me that running for president is a painful experience and difficult?

You've got to be a psycho! You've got to be a psycho! But on the other side of that pain... you lead the free world.

In my case, I've been successful not with intellect, not with tremendous, I'm not 6'5". I didn't have great relationships. I didn't grow up on the right side of the tracks. I have a college degree because I... I played baseball at a school you've never heard of before. So I don't have any of that stuff. I didn't have self-confidence. I wasn't a good speaker. I hate sales. I hate rejection. So how the hell did this happen? I got two skills, and I have them in droves. Let me tell you what the two are, and I'll tell you how I got them. Skill one, I love people. And I'm present with human beings to where when I'm speaking to a room, I can see the dude on the phone, the dude typing, the dude moving in the back, the dude whose body language has already changed from when I walked out. Now he's like, oh, wait a minute. This dude's legit. The guy already doesn't like me because I bragged about him. myself five times, I got it. I love people and I'm present with them. If you were my Uber driver, my flight attendant, you were on my podcast, whatever it is, you'd feel a presence in someone who reads you and transmits energy to you in a freakish way. When I speak on stage, people feel things by the time I'm done that they didn't feel before I walked out. I can tell you that I have a very special ability to love, be present, read, and influence people. That's skill one. Skill two, I can communicate. Those are my two skills. That's it. I've reached hundreds of millions of people around the world, number one speaker in the world, number one mindset coach in the world, USA to Jay just said, and I've made hundreds of millions of bucks, and I'm not bright, and I don't have connections. Guess where those two skills came from? Pain. Oh, did I mention that my dad was a drug addict, alcoholic? Let me tell you how this goes. My dad, by the time I was four years old, my dad was a dude, I mean a man's man. Any of you guys or ladies in here raised by a man, you know what I mean, there's a difference. some men are just different my dad i've seen my dad more than 50 fights physical fights i'm not exaggerating that my dad's the type of dude you know when you put you cut someone off on the freeway and they flip you off my dad dad doesn't flip you off. My dad follows you to your driveway, and you're going to be beaten up in your driveway. I watched my dad in a fight in right field pavilion at Angel Stadium and the left field pavilion at Dodger Stadium. I watched my dad get in a fight in the donut line on Sunday at St. Dennis Catholic Church after church. True story. My dad's a dude. I was afraid of my dad. In fact, of all the people, all these fighters you work with, have you ever been afraid? I've only been afraid of two human beings in my entire life. Two. My dad. I'm talking about 65-year-old my dad. I was afraid of him. And Mike Tyson. And I've had fighters that are bigger than Mike. Mike's got something in there that I don't know what it is, dude. Trust me. Mike has something in there. I get why six-foot-four men are like, oh, my God, in front of this five-foot-eleven. dude. I've got goosebumps. I'm afraid of him. Here's where the skills came from. My dad would go on these drinking binges. He would say, Eddie, you're the man of the house. You protect your mom and your sisters if any bad guys come in here. I'm four. Now, what I didn't know was that the main person I had to protect them from was him when he would come back. I want you to imagine being four years old. I don't even like telling this story at all. When my dad would come back, I would go to the front door right away. And I'd read him when he opened the door. I would read my father. Is he drinking tonight? If he's drinking, can I smell any alcohol? How's his tie tied? How's he walking? What are his facial expressions? I became fully present with this man I loved so much. And I would send him all this love and presence. There was nothing else in the world. And if I sensed he was drinking, I would say, Mama, take Andrea and Erica and Mimi, and you guys go upstairs. And I would be left downstairs with this man. By the time I was about seven or eight. I recall being able to know whether he was drinking before he came through the door. I knew by the sound the key made in a lock whether he was drunk. Before the door would open, I'd go, Mama, you go take a bath. Take Mimi and Erica upstairs. Take Andrea. And I'm like a little boy. Now, I realized something recently. I'll just say this for some of you that may need to hear it. I just really realized this recently. I was never a little boy. I was not a little boy. I had to be a young man early in my life. Real early. Unfairly, I didn't have a childhood. Some of you know exactly what I'm talking about. When you grow up with a drug addict or an alcoholic or abuse or verbal abuse or just tension in a home, you're not a little boy or a little girl. That was real painful. I didn't know on the other side of that pain, though, God was going to give me this gift when I'm talentless, a tremendous gift to influence people, being present and loving them enough to say, hey, man, pay attention to me. It's not arrogant. I just, bro, we're brothers. Like, listen, I can help you, right? Enough to be candid and true with people. Ask the guy who drove me in my car last night. Ask the people who mic'd me up backstage. And then if my dad was drinking, I'd send mom upstairs, and then the second skill would kick in. I'd have to start talking, communicating, getting him to feel something. Daddy, how was your day? It was good. And my whole goal was at the end of our hallway, which I'll show you later, there was a liquor cab. Now, my dad's already drunk. Here's what my dad's routine was. If he was already drunk, my dad would make a beeline to this liquor cabinet, had all the booze there. Let me tell you what my dad drank. Beef eater's gin. You know how I know that? Because now to this day, no matter where I go, I can't drink. I'll be honest with you, I had a drink at the airport in Atlanta waiting for my flight last night. I'm at a bar there in a restaurant, people coming up, I take a picture, blah, blah, blah. And as I'm taking a picture with the dude, in the back of his camera, looking this way, I see Beefeater's gin. I'll see it everywhere. That's called your reticular activating system in your brain. Now, if you listen to my work, I will teach you to find clients, prospects, and referrals that way. But I see Beefeater's gin. You know what my dad would do? He'd drink eight of them. Eight more. Full glasses. I thought every daddy did that. Eight became such a prominent number in my life that I wore number eight in baseball. I played position number eight center field and everywhere I go to this day I can see eights. My entire job was to get them not there. You know how I did it? Talking. So daddy I was like, I go, okay well just so you know I hit two home runs in baseball today. What? What? Huh? Yeah daddy, first pitch. Where was the first one? Hey daddy, first pitch was up and in and I just stayed back, stayed back, stayed back, fired my hips, kept my hands inside the ball. pulled it right over right field. He's in. Wow. That's awesome, Eddie. Yeah. Where was the other one? The other one. And I'd get him over to the couch. I said, the other one, daddy was a curve ball was lowing in. I started to get out over my front foot. Like you said not to, but I kept my hands back and I slapped it over the left field fence. Wow. So daddy, you didn't have any good meetings. Well, my second one, what happened? And I'd get him on the couch. If I could get him there for 45 minutes, he'd forget about the eight drinks and sober up. My mom and sisters could come downstairs and we would have a normal. evening as a family. I will never speak about what would happen if I failed. Those were some rough nights for this little guy right here. What I didn't know is God was saying, little boy, if you can survive this pain, when you're 15, he's going to get sober. And on the other side of this temporary pain, I'm going to give you the two gifts you will utilize to reach millions of people around the world. That's what happened. So if you're going through any pain right now, or any pain is forthcoming, what you need to be looking for is I'm going to survive this. I'm going to get through this on the other side of it. I'm getting a gift for it I'm going to get a relationship a friend a referral a center of influence a thought a mindset a system Something i'm going to get some of you came to this conference Reluctantly because you're going through a painful experience. My sense is there's a gift waiting for you somewhere at this thing Maybe it's this talk. Maybe it's something else That changed my life. By the way, let me tell you one more thing that changed my life By the way, good news. My dad got sober when I was 15 And never had a drink again the rest of his life. Okay now You What's interesting about this, what's really interesting about it is that's why I don't think you can change your life. I know you can. I watched my hero do it. I watched my dad live a terrible life my first 15 years and the best life of any man I've ever met the next 40. The best. Shifted. By the way, I wrote a book called The Power of One More. The reason one is in there is there's so many ones in my life. When my dad got sober, he decided to give it one more try. When he got sober, I said, Daddy, are you never going to drink again? He goes, Eddie, I can't tell you that. Here's what I can promise you. I won't drink for one more day at a time. And that lasted the rest of his life. Something more powerful I'm going to share with you is going to blow your mind. Here we go. Now the learning starts. After my dad died, after I had written the book about two years ago, I woke up in the middle of the night sobbing. About 3 a.m. My wife has seen me cry two times. Once when my dad died. because he's my hero. Man, do I miss my dad right now. I've had a rough year. I wish I could talk to my dad. Wish I could talk to my dad. Biggest thing I learned from my dad in AA is to focus on the things I can control and to let go of the fact that I'm a hero. things I cannot control. You want to have a great life? You make those distinctions. You control what you can and you give the rest of it to God. And you do not obsess over things you cannot control. If I learned one lesson from my father through tumultuous times, it's what can I control right now? And I give up any attachment. See, the reason you're successful is you're a control freak. The reason you're also not happy. is because you're a control freak. You have not learned to distinguish between the things that are within your control and not in your control, and as a result, you are emotionally out of control and unstable. That distinction changed my life. I'm crying. My wife goes, honey, what's wrong? I go, babe, someone helped daddy. She said, what, honey? I said, someone helped daddy. She goes, what are you talking about? It's the middle of the night. I go, I never thought about this before. Someone helped my dad get sober. And I don't know who they are. I've never met them before. And by the way, what's crazy is my dad told me the story later. I remember this night we were at the church. My mom and my sisters and I were at the church. We spent the night in the church. And the reason we spent the night in the church is my mom had left my dad that night. My dad decided to go kill himself that night. My dad told me the story later. Eddie, I was taking my life that night. So some precious human being, check this out, saved my dad's life. They helped my dad get sober. I don't know who they are, and they likely don't. know I'm his son. They don't know the ripple effect of helping one human being with his son has reached millions of people on every continent in the world. Is that crazy? The ripple effect of helping one person. You don't know the ripple effect of you getting one family into a home. doesn't get divorced and those kids are stable or their credit card debt gets consolidated and now they live a healthy financial life you don't know the ripple effect when those kids go to college someday that guy becomes a heart surgeon and saves a life the ripple effect of the work we do is fascinating in life when you think about it she goes oh my god honey that's incredible that somebody saved your family i said you know what's more incredible by the way i'll give you a hint hack i found him i found the guy now by the way it gets crazier you know how cool god is you know who cool God is I have a totally dorky name named Edward that was also my dad's name also my grandfather's name I'm Edward Michael Joseph Milet the third guess what this dude's name is Ed what are the odds of that I said, babe, that's not the most incredible part. You know what the most incredible part is? What qualified this man to help my dad? What were his qualifications? Is that he was so amazing? Impeccable resume? Perfect life? Just like a saint? Nope. Guess what qualified him? He was also a drunk. He was also a drug addict. He also lived in the shadows for a good part of his life. Lied to his family for a good part of his life. Was ashamed of himself for a good part of his life. You know why? Ready? Because in life you're most qualified to help the person you used to be. Let me say that to you again. In life, you're most qualified to help the person you used to be. This man was perfect for my dad. By the way, a lot of you think you're disqualified from winning because of some financial setback. You're not. That's the adversary lying to you. You're disqualified because you cheated on somebody. You're disqualified because you had a bankruptcy. You're disqualified because you come in here with a drug or alcohol problem. You're disqualified because you've done some things you're ashamed of in your life. You believe that's disqualified you. That's the adversary using your sins against you to try to get you to settle to be average and ordinary. Maybe you just think you're disqualified because you've always been average. You've always been invisible, so you're always going to be. Your past is what disqualifies you. All of that is a lie of the adversary. The truth is you're most qualified to help those you used to be. So if you used to not know anything about debt or mortgage or real estate, and now you know a little bit, you're qualified to help those people. If you used to be an unhappy person, You're slightly more happy you can help unhappy people if you used to be a broken person and you're slightly less broken now You can help broken people the reason I'm pretty good at this is I've been screwed up most of my life The reason I can connect with most people is I know what it's like to feel inferior insecure ashamed of your family Not real smart not real talented not real gifted not real special I know what it's like to sin and make mistakes and do things you're ashamed of What I've learned is that means I'm qualified to help all kinds of people because I'm all kinds of screwed up. Can I get an amen to that? Say yes. So don't forget this. I told you this is going to be good. Now here we go. How do you do it? Let me tell you about Sally here. I'm blessed that I own, I'm going to brag, but this is to teach a story and I think it's fitting for you. I literally created this for this group. I own an island. A couple years ago I bought an island. My dream has always had my own island, my own place. When I'm done with this place, it'll be the greatest property in the United States. Bar none. Its own island on the ocean, 15,000 square feet of ocean frontage. That's just the ocean part. build my own golf course right now eight homes a saloon horses birds it's pretty bitchin right my wife's there right now I can't wait to get back a couple days I built it there was like well this golf course you're building it's a hundred million dollar like hundred million dollar property like, you know, it's just for me and my son and my friends. I have a full-time golf course superintendent, crew, equipment, everything. It's just for my son and I and any friends I have come over. They're like, what? The contractor every month, I gotta be honest with you, blows them away. I don't use debt on residential stuff. Every month I'm writing this guy $3 million checks. Every month. I've been doing it for three years. I got two years to go. He's like, excuse my language. He's like, who the fuck can write $3 million checks every fucking month? I go, me. Been in a lot of pain. My family's going to heal out here. This is Sally. Sally is a, we're pretty blessed. She's bald eagle. She was married to George. Found Sally one day very sad because George was just to the right. I tried to feed the two of them. Turns out George was in a bad way. I took him to the bird sanctuary and they couldn't save him. I tell you this story because I think it's fitting for where most of you are right now. Sally's a bald eagle. She was eight years old. They lived to about 12 or 14. Now, there's a meme on Instagram that's a lie. If you hear it, Anthony Hopkins is voiceovering it. It talks about how eagles pull their feathers and their beaks out and they can live to 30 years old. It's not true. But I can tell you what is true. Sally had a decision to make. She was eight years old. She'd just lost her husband. She'd gone through a very difficult time. If she doesn't change and remake herself, she dies within the next two or three years. I watched her literally remake herself the next year. Every time I'd see her, she was flying more than she used to. And she'd go up on these rocks and peck her beak against it. I'm like, she's going to ruin her beak. She wasn't. She was remaking her beak. And then when the beak became... She became new and got sharper. She started plucking out her feathers. She went from this beautiful bird that was all dark. I thought, this is weird. She was plucking all the unnecessary feathers out of her life. Then she sharpened her claws. Then I went away for the winter and I came back and there's this brand new nest up there. She found another dude. Now, I don't know how bald eagles find each other. I have literally no idea. I don't even know how this shit works. I'm just telling you, next thing I know, there's a dude living up in the nest with her. She remade herself during a difficult time. She sharpened her beak. She pulled out all the feathers that didn't work anymore. She reassessed what her vision and her dreams were for her life and she went to work on it. Here's what's crazy. This is just a dumb video. See if I could show you this. There she is. Not happy that I'm out here. That's one of those. That's her. And this is just to show you that it's actually a true story, that's all. There's her nest up there. This is the golf hole. By the way, you golfers, how about that little shot into the par 3? Pretty cool, huh? Every shot's got an ocean hole. Here she goes. Anyway, she's soaring high and beautiful again. In a minute, George joins her. They're out there. By the way, 8 foot wingspan. This doesn't do justice how beautiful this animal is. 8 feet. Why? She's a monster. She flies about 50 miles an hour. Anyway, I tell you all this because she created a whole brand new life with this guy in a difficult time by remaking herself, sharpening her claws, sharpening her beak, and pulling out all the feathers that no longer work together. Here's the crazier part. They now say she'll live to mid-20s. She literally doubled or tripled her life expectancy by making a decision at the worst time. I bring this up to you because if you are going through a little bit of a difficult time or a transition time, or even if you're... not, I regularly pull all the feathers out of my life that don't serve me anymore. I'm regularly sharpening my beak. I don't like doing it all the time. I'm tired of it, to be honest with you. I really am. But it's become who I am. I want to live as long and as prosperously and as happily and as blissfully as I possibly can, and that doesn't happen if you don't remake yourself on a regular basis. I watched her do it, and I would challenge you to evaluate today. What parts of you need to be remade? Well, parts of your business, I was hearing a lot of stuff on the panel that was up here. It was an incredible panel, by the way. One of the things that I have found with my friends that have flourished in the mortgage business is they are hyper-crazy psycho about the customer experience. They don't have customer service. They have customer experience. They're obsessed. Like, the way they do it is so incredibly radically unique that the amount of referral business they get that's on overflow is crazy to me. I would challenge you to evaluate that experience. I challenge you to evaluate everything in your life. Because let me tell you one thing I've figured out. People always go, man, when you make your dreams come true, it's better than you could have possibly ever imagined in your life. You ever heard that before? I could tell you that I don't think it is. I think working really hard, I know a bunch of people that have made their dreams come true and they get there and they go, is this all there is? Some of you in the room know exactly what I'm talking about. Your dream of making three or four hundred grand a year and it happened, you're like, that's it? Or a million a year? It's not as good. Having a Ferrari, it's not as good as you think. It's not. It's good for like six weeks. It's not as good. I'm just telling you. But I can tell you what's better. If you become successful on a level that's bigger than you have before, it's the dreams you will make come true of other people. That is way better than you can imagine. It's the dreams you will make come true of other people. in particular people in your family that don't even have the dream yet right now. I have a sister who's diabetic. She was born with diabetes. She lost her vision. She went blind. She was suicidal. Through the relationships I had and doctors I knew, I found someone that cured me. or blindness. When I started in my business journey, my sister didn't know she was going to go blind. I have this fantasy someday of my great-grandson being on that island playing golf with his death. He's not even born yet. I won't be there to see it. But to me, that's greater than anything I could possibly imagine in my life. I'll tell you a quick story about it. I bought this island. The way that it happened was the real estate agent, Ryland wasn't expensive. It was only $10 million. It's the $90 million that's preceded it that concerns my friends and family. But I always said I wanted to own an island. The real estate agent was smart. She got a listing. She had heard me on a podcast. She called me. It's a Saturday. I'm living in Laguna Beach. She goes, hey, I've got this island for sale. It's going to go quick. Blah, blah, blah. I go, islands don't go quick. But whatever. you know and she goes uh she tells me about it and it's in New England where you were born in Boston and blah blah blah and it's in Portland Maine and I know you love this area and it's the best summers in the world the best food in the world like I'll be there Tuesday I grabbed my daughter I said Bella we're jumping on the plane we're flying to Portland Maine I'll take you to a Red Sox game and we'll go look at Boston University it was at that time we do that we as we're boating up to it the guy that took me on the water taxi's got a prosthetic leg and as we're boating I said I noticed your leg what happened because I lost it in Vietnam and you It's just kind of a passing conversation. Well, thank you for your service. And in passing, he tells me as we're pulling up that he's a part of this group of severe PTSD. They do these retreats and yada, yada, yada. I said, that's great. I'm focused on this island when I see it. Before we even get there, Bella goes, Daddy, just please buy this. Please buy this. I'm like, Bella, this is a fortune. Anyway, I look at it for like six hours. I get back on the boat. He goes, how was it? I go, he goes, the owner doesn't let anybody on. I go, I'm buying it, but don't tell him because I'm going to negotiate hard. And as we get back on the water text, he's about a fifth. 15-minute ride. He goes, man, that place would be unbelievable for the retreats we do. I go, yeah, if I buy it, maybe we'll do one out there. I just say it in passing. I buy the island. It's about three months later. The same guy, Bill, takes me out there on the water taxi. And he goes, hey, were you serious about doing one of these retreats for the vets with PTSD? I said, huh? Yeah, yeah. He goes, okay, well, it'll cost you this or this. And I go, okay, I'll do it. Kind of reluctantly, because my mouth opened up a check. My butt didn't want to cash, right? So anyway, they scheduled the retreat in November. These guys have pretty heavy-duty PTSD. I forget it's scheduled. By God's grace, I'm on the island. I show up there to check on some construction, and when I get there, they go, you know, they're in the middle of that retreat. So don't go down there by the main house where all the guys are staying. I said, why? They go, bro, they don't talk to each other. This is really weird. They're all a little different. They don't even know. know each other's names they've been here a day and a half and it ends tomorrow and uh i don't you know just you'll be uncomfortable i go okay and i start a couple steps away and i go hey aren't they doing that dinner down there tonight they go oh it's not fancy it's like a little table with like a white cloth i go can i go to the dinner You sure? I go, yeah, I would like to go. So I walk down later that night to the dinner and there's all these heroes out there that don't think they're heroes and they're all kind of in their own corner drinking a beer and I go by and introduce myself to each one of them. Some of them make eye contact, some of them don't. Some of them couldn't believe the owner came down and and we sit down at this table for the dinner. That's the table No one's talking When we sit down, I mean nobody awkward silence And little insecure means kind of coming up from when i'm even a little boy And then finally, uh, the one of the hosts goes ed, you know, it's amazing. You've built this life why don't you tell us your story? And I go, well, son of an alcoholic, drug addict, my life changed and I went to work at this orphanage. All my boys at that orphanage, they were removed from their families. Their parents had either molested them, were dead, or were incarcerated. And when I went to work at this orphanage, my life changed. I found out I loved serving people. I loved making a difference. And that's how my business career actually started. I was making six bucks an hour at an orphanage. It's a long story, but that's how my life changed. I got emotional for a minute in front of these strong men thinking about my boys from 30 years ago that are now still in my life. They're like my sons. And I said, you know what's crazy about it is you're most qualified in life to help the people you used to be. I come from a dysfunctional family. They did. I connected with these boys immediately. I was perfect for them. I just didn't know it. I'm so uncomfortable, I haven't even looked to my left yet. This man's been sitting here now for about 30 minutes. I'm kind of watery-eyed talking about my boys. And he goes, well, I go, any of you guys want to tell me your story? Because I know they've never talked about it. This guy goes, well, I will. I'm Ollie. And I turn, and I go, Ollie, how old are you? I'm 93. He goes, I just wanted to tell you thank you. This is the most beautiful place I've ever seen. Six weeks ago, I lost my wife of 70 years. And it's just amazing to be here. She'd be so happy that I'm here. This has been so cathartic, so wonderful, so incredible. I can't believe you came down here and had dinner with us tonight. This hero is thanking me. I said, Ollie, do you mind telling me where you serve? He goes, I don't talk about it much. I go, okay. He goes, the Korean War. The Korean War? And he starts saying, sharing some things that will stay in that room about why he struggled for 70 years with what happened there. And then this guy jumps in and goes, Hi, well, I'm Victor. I lost my leg like your boat captain in Vietnam. I was a medic there and all of a sudden he goes, I've never said this before and he starts crying. Within three days I was picking up eyeballs and ears of my best friends. I've picked up more body parts and... limbs than I wish to tell you about. And I've just had a hard time with it. He's from Compton. Ollie's from Vermont. Then this kid over here goes, I won't say his name, he goes, he's from Houston. Texas from Houston Texas I did three tours in Afghanistan one in Iraq he starts talking this man gets up and goes and hugs and consoles him then this guy says I did tour in Kuwait I did four in Afghanistan and I lost my brother when we were over there so they pulled me out and it ended up being this unbelievable experience life-altering experience where we all shared and poured our hearts out and for some of them it was the first time since they left those war zones I don't know what happened I just know that I was a little boy in temporary pain, and if you're a little bit less broken than you used to be, something happened in that room. This is us two hours later. Everybody's sitting around their table, sharing stories, these beautiful men. This is the next day. Can't see it very well. There's my dude with his prosthetic leg. That's Ollie. All of a sudden, they're hugging. They become friends. They become very close. They've built a community. that supports one another. There's Ollie again. You can't separate those two anymore. We've done 11 of those retreats now with different heroes on the island. Now, I tell you that not to brag. It's okay. I tell you that is, I tell you that because I didn't know that's why I bought the island. It's not... for just my family i didn't know that's why i stayed up early i got up early in the morning and stayed up late that's why i wrote out the bad markets that's why i dealt with all the critics i didn't know when people were stealing from me and talking bad about me and doing bad business deals with me i had no idea when i was going through all of that that it would lead to making the dreams come true of these heroes some of which were born 40 years before me Some of which have grandsons who will see a different version of their grandfather for the first time. He's never hugged them or told them he loved them before they came to Hope Island. By the way, the name of the island is Hope Island. It was named that 200 years ago. Isn't that crazy? I didn't know when I was grinding in my business and doing all the work I did, thinking I'm going to own an island, I'm going to be a big shot, I'm going to show pictures. I didn't know. That's not why I own the island. That's why I own the island. So as good as you think it is to make your dreams come true, it's not. it's way better when you make other people's dreams come true than you think it is. Can I get an amen to that? Say yes. Why do I tell you this? There's got to be a part of you at this event right now that reignites your dream again. audit it. What do I really want out of my life? How do I really want to live the next 10 or 20 or 30 years of my life? Who do I really want to be? How am I going to use my business and my relationships, my context to remake myself again? Pull the... there's feathers off sharpen my beak forget all that how do you get reconnected like you did when you were young when you were new and you were in the hunt and you were struggling you didn't know anything and it was the happiest you ever been because you were back in the game man back in the grind about competing again. That ignorance, you know too much now, that's your problem. You know too much. You've had too many people hurt you, you know too much about the market, too much about the business, too much about life, and you're a slightly jaded, cynical, cool person now. And the way to live our lives is to drop all that and to be a kid again. And let me tell you why that matters. There's Ollie again. I can't get enough of Ollie, as you could tell. By the way, before I tell you this story, if you want my help at all, I have no products that cost... money good news if you scan that QR code I think my team sends you like how I run my schedule in my day you get all my content if you don't want it don't scan it I don't care I have nothing to sell you there's no upsell there's no clickfunnel there's no nothing if you don't get that thing scanned you can go to Ed my let calm put your email in there I'll help you I literally exist to help entrepreneurs win people win I admire you that's why I talk pretty tough I admire you I look I in many ways I look up to you I think the biggest compliment you give somebody is I see part of myself in you I know what it's like just it's hard running a business man and a family and a life just a lot you come here everyone's partying their ass off it's good two or three days and then when you get back to the airplane in a couple days you're like oh now I gotta go back to that thing again I don't want you to fear it. I want you to embrace it with a new dream and a new vision and a new hope. You know? You know? Do you know? Yes? Why does it matter? That's my dad. I've talked enough about him. I want to tell you about him. Great picture of me, by the way. Thank you to my team That's my sister andrea with diabetes in the middle. That's my hero not because he was perfect but because he changed That's my dad and I at andrea's wedding just validation that we were both good looking at one time Those are the three Ed Milets that I told you about earlier. That's my papa in the middle. That's my dad on the left and me on the right. Papa's my hero. Any of you have anybody when you were a little boy or a little girl that just when they looked at you or talked to you, they just made you feel special? Was it your mom or dad or an uncle or a coach or a pastor or a teacher? 80% of you have that person. Just your little girl, little boy, they would look at you. You were their special one. You have their face pictured, whoever it is, do you? By the way, if you don't have that person, I apply for the position, seriously. I'm not being funny. I'll believe in you. You can DM me, message me. I get about 1,500 a day. I get back to almost everybody. It may take me three or four days, but I'll get back to you. I'll create content for you and I'll help you. If you're willing to help other people with your problem, prosperity, I'm willing to help you, just like that person helped my dad. Mine was Papa, because my dad was a drunk. Papa didn't finish the fourth grade. The reason Papa didn't finish the fourth grade is this is what I actually come from. Papa's dad died when he was in the fourth grade. He drowned. in a gutter in front of a bar in South Boston, Massachusetts, passed out drunk and no one helped him. I come from three generations away from a man who drowned in a gutter. That's Puppa's dad. Puppa's a stud. He stormed the beaches of Normandy on D-Day. with his buddies. He's a stud. When I was a little boy, Papa would pick me up. He had this blue van. My grandfather worked in the presses at a newspaper. He's a pressman. And he would look at me and go, Eddie, you're going to do something great with your life. That's why I said it to you. I said, I am big, Papa. Hundreds of times. You're the special one. God gave you Papa's blue eyes. You're going to do just good. I said, I am, Papa. And he would tell me over and over, Eddie, you're going to change the world. You're the special one, Eddie. And I would just look at him because my house was so screwed up. I am, Papa. Yes, you are. Remember when other grandkids were born? He goes, they named you after me. Remember when my cousin Peter was born? Papa called me, Eddie, cousin Peter, six pounds, ten ounces, he's amazing, he's going to be incredible. And I said, he is, Papa. And he goes, but hey, one thing, just remember. I go, what's that? He goes, you're still my favorite. That was my guy. That was my guy. You picture yours? If you have that person, they just made, can I say something on their behalf? They were right. They were right about you. Maybe you've long since forgotten how they made you feel. I think they're right here. They were right. I'm just speaking for them. They were right. You ought to prove them right. If they're still here, make them proud of you while they're here. If they're gone, honor them with the man or woman you're becoming. They were right. Three days after this picture was taken, Papa died. He's got goosebumps all over my legs, just so you know, whatever that means. When I just told you they were right, I got goosies everywhere. I'm a Christian, so that's the Holy Spirit going, that one was good. My dad moved into Papa's seat right when Papa died. I remember thinking, my gosh, like that, like a flicker. Dad's in Papa's seat, I'm in Dad's seat. Like that, life's flying by. This is my dad and I about, I don't know, 10 years later, golfing. My favorite thing in the world was to golf with my hero, my dad. Neither one of us are good golfers. We didn't agree on almost anything, politics, religion, nothing. He's my best friend, man. That's the dude who had my back. I ever needed anything. I could call one man in the world. No judgment. I got you. Where are we burying the body? Let's go. That was my dad Right. You ever have that person? That was my dad what I would give Man, listen to me Do you know what I would give right now to get to play golf one more time with my father? You could take your stupid island in your jet. You give me five hours with that guy I would love to talk to my dad about what I'm going through right now. I would love to watch my father, my only dad, walk right across that green, get back in the golf cart. This close to me. Put his arm on me. Good putt, kiddo. Thanks, dad. My dad could care less about my wealth, could care less about my fame. My jet was parked one mile from my dad's house. Multiple planes. My dad never got on it once. I'd say, Dad, let's fly to Hawaii and go play some golf, man. Let's go. He'd be like, why would I go there? It's Planchino by the prison. I don't care about the golf course. I care about my son. Are you calling your sisters? Are you giving most of your money away? Are you reading your Bible? Are you being a good man? That's all my dad cared about. This day, my dad and I were golfing. My dad had a very deep voice, very similar voice to mine. And that day, he was like, hey, pal. And he was playing real slow. I said, hey, what's going on with you? You don't sound good. You don't look good. He goes, yeah. this pain in my chest. I said, how long you had it? He goes, yeah, eight months. I go, you need to get this shit checked. What are you doing? I go, you're going in on Monday. I'll have my team set it up. My dad went in on Monday. Tuesday, 12-hour surgery. Removed a tumor the size of a football from my dad's chest. They got about 80% of it. He was diagnosed with liposarcoma, a very rare form of cancer, particularly in men. When my dad got the cancer, he was diagnosed with liposarcoma. answer. He said, Eddie, here's the deal. I'll fight this one time. You know how it goes. Lose your hair. I'm not doing all that stuff. I'll fight it one time. If it comes back, that's it. Game over for me. I said, fair enough, but fight it. He said, deal. That's not what happened. My dad fought it for eight years. Surgery, surgery, chemo, chemo, radiation, proton therapy, surgery, chemo, experimental chemo, proton, radiation, surgery, surgery, chemo. eight years. I say, Dad, watch this. Wait, just so you see this. You see that? Every time I'd see my dad, I knew I was losing him. Exactly what he said happened. He was shriveling up. He lost his hair. See what my dad's wearing? White shirt and golf glasses. You want to know why he's wearing that? Because my dad and I could never play golf ever again after that picture I showed you. But I taught my dad all the visualization. techniques I teach in my book. So every day during chemo for five hours, my dad literally has the most specific visualization of he and I golfing together. Every shot, every ball, every dimple on it, I've taught him exactly what I teach all my athletes and business people. My dad golfed with me every day till he died. But we never were at a golf course. My dad got dressed every day for eight years to play golf with his son. There is no picture of my father not wearing that. I say, Dad, you said you weren't going to go through this and suffer. And how about, he goes, Eddie, I'm not suffering. I'm in pain, and there's a difference, and it's temporary. I said, why are you going through it? He goes, listen to me. When you are threatened with never having one more day with your family, you'll do anything to get one more day. I didn't know that when this came down. He goes, I'll do anything to get one more dinner with your mom. Talk to my son one more time. Maybe get to one of my granddaughter's weddings. Maybe I'll see old Max play one more golf tournament. Maybe I'll see little Alex play one more basketball game. Maybe I'll be around to see a great-grandkid born. You'll do anything to get another day with your family. That's eight months later. Don't you think about my family right now, you think about your family. You think about your family, the last seven, eight minutes here. Deal? That's my family. Every time I saw him, he was in pain. He would go through that pain, see his granddaughter, see his son, see what he's wearing. See what he's wearing? We played golf every day. That's my dad during COVID in the hospital. That's my only dad. That's my only dad. Only got one. See what he's wearing? In the hospital. I couldn't come up and hug him. We weren't allowed to go up. I couldn't touch him. I stayed in the parking lot every day. This day, my dad called me. Hey, what you doing? I said, I'm down here writing a chapter in the book. What are you doing? He goes, just played Pebble Beach with my son. He goes, guess what? I said, what? He goes, I played lights out. I shot 67. I finally birdied 18. Great shot into the green. I said, that's awesome. He goes, yeah, I don't know how to tell you this. I'm like, what? He goes, you played like shit. I go, shut up. He goes, my lunch is here. I got to go. He hangs up. An hour and a half later, my dad called me and my life changed. Hey kiddo. I said, what's going on? He goes, I want to go home. You think about your family. I said, what? He goes, yeah, I want to go home. Not doing so good. I want to go home. I want to be with mom and my own. Get your sisters and come over. I said, Dad, you're going to get another steroid shot. You're going to rally. Come on, man. You know that. I'll never forget this. All the one mores in my life. He goes, Eddie, listen to me. I have one more day. My stomach sank. I said, what? I have one more day. I'm going to be at home with my family. Please. I said, I'll call your doctor. I called his doctor. I said, Doc, Dad's talking crazy. Like, says he's got one more day and take him home. He goes, Ed, send an ambulance and take your dad home. I said, what? He goes, Ed, they know. I said, who's they? Someone who's going to die, Ed. They know. Send an ambulance. Take your dad home. That's three hours later. That's my dad coming home one more time. By the way, someday you will come home one more time. Who do you want to be in that moment? What do you want to felt, experienced, the memories with the people you love, the difference you've made in your life? Who you became. Who do you want to be when you have one more day left in your life? That's why I came here today. To remind you you were born to do something great with your life. And to sincerely ask you, brother, sister, who do you want to be when you have one more day? What did you see? What did you feel? What did you give? What are your memories? What are your experiences? By the way, that's my mom watching her precious husband of 50 years come home one more time. That man or woman you love, someday you will watch them come home one more time. You got a problem with someone right now, fix it. It's not worth it. You've been holding on to something, let it go. You've been afraid to go for something in your life, stop that shit, go for it now. It's like a flicker, man. That's my mom watching her precious husband come home one more time. By the way, that's the staircase I sent her up to hide. That's the liquor cabinet, it's still there, that I would get him away from. Listen to me, that's the same man when I was a little four-year-old I was terrified from. From the same door I watched him come through that door the last time, a totally different man. My dad, by the way, helped thousands of people get sober. I never knew it. Because you're most qualified in life to help those you used to be. I watched a totally different man come through that front door one more time. You can change your life. This is my precious dad with one more hour left. One more hour. Who do you want to be when you have one more hour? Who do you want to be? My dad woke up about 20 minutes after this. My whole life was worth it in this moment. He goes, I'm so proud of you. All the shit's worth it. Totally worth it. I can't believe God gave you to me as my only son. I love you. He closed his eyes and about 20 minutes later my father took one more breath with his family around him and he was gone. Watch this. You see that? Ready? Watch. Watch. Like a flicker. Like a flicker. Like a flicker, like a flicker, life flies by. Just yesterday we were there with Papa. Just yesterday we were at the wedding. Just yesterday I was a little boy. Life goes like this, man. Like a flicker, time's running out on you. Your problem is you think everybody else is going to die, not you. I don't know when it is, but I know it's coming, man. Like that, like a flicker, it's over. You might as well go for it. You might as well run up the score. After my dad died, I found all these index cards in his room. You know what these are? The dates of the people whose sobriety birthday my dad helped get sober. Thousands of them. Because you're most qualified to help those you used to be. Now check this out. After my dad died, I got four minutes here. It's hard for me. I don't like this talk. After my father died, my sisters were in the other room, and it was about an hour and a half before the hearse would come. And my sisters did not want to be in the room with him. I said, I will be. And I'll never forget this. I walked back in the room, and there was my dad. And I want to share something very personal with you. I knew instantly when I walked in there that wasn't my dad anymore. My dad was gone. That was his body, but my dad's soul was gone. So you are not your bodies. You're not. By the way, in the room my dad was in was all of his awards, his accolades. He couldn't take any of those with him. You're not your awards and your accolades. By the way, we were in my dad's house, one of his possessions. My dad's car was parked in the driveway. He didn't take that with him either. By the way, when my dad was dying in the hospital, he said, take me home. He didn't say, bring me my possessions. Bring me my money. Bring me my awards. He said, bring me my family. When it gets down to at the end of your life, it'll be the people, not the things. People matter, things don't. It'll be the people you love that your story will be written about. So we're not our possessions. My dad, by the way, had worries and problems and fears. He took none of those with him. So you take none of those things with you. The question then becomes, if you don't take those things with you, what do you want to leave here? My dad left something here. He left me here. He left his legacy. He left his family. He left his energy He left something real special here. What do you want to leave here? And those are the decisions that I came here to make remember in the beginning when I said, um I just kind of want this to be a slightly life-changing event for you Maybe this much or maybe this much Okay Somewhere in there. You need to make a decision to change your life in your decisions. Your destiny is shaped I did not come here to talk at you for a hundred grand Okay, I came here to impact your life. I came here because you matter brother you matter sister You were born to do something great with your life and just remember this last thing Last thing, when you see, I remember when I was a little boy, I'd see these happy families or rich families. I'd be like, who are these people? I remember, man, they don't yell in their house. Like they seem happy or they're rich. Remember this, when you see a happy family or a rich family, here's what's good to know. Somewhere back in their lineage, they weren't. They weren't until one thing happens. the one shows up. We've talked about all the ones today. In every family there's the one and that one person changes that family's legacy forever from being an unhappy family or a family with no faith to a faith-based family with love and happiness and bliss because with our children, it's caught, not taught. So maybe that's the change that needs to happen. Or maybe it's financial. When you see a rich family, somewhere back in there, they weren't. In my family, I'm the one. I'm the one who went to work. I stayed up late. I got up early. I took the hits. I dealt with the rejection. I dealt with the stress. I carried the emotional load of winning for the Milet family so the world will never have their thumb on the Milets again. We call the shots now, man. We walk in a room. They know who we are. We give to other people. We make other people's dreams come true. My nieces and nephews think different than I did when I was a little boy. We're a pretty damn happy, pretty faith-based, damn rich family now because I'm the one. My dad was the catalyst by making that. that decision, and then I went for it. If while I was talking today, you felt any sense of emotion of any type, you're the one. You're the one. If you felt anything today, that's the spirit confirming for you, you're the one. And it might be in small ways and big ways, it might be subtle change, it may be major change, but my hallucination is the vast majority of you in this room are the one. it's never who you'd pick it's the not so bright shy insecure you'd never pick them they're not the ones you'd see coming but they just keep coming they keep getting up they're relentless they keep getting up you can't keep these people down they think they're down they think they're going to quit somehow they get back up, they get back up, they get back up. Why? Because they love their family more than they're afraid, more than they're tired, more than they're insecure, more than how bad it is. They will fight for their families because they love them more than the adversity. And when you attach your love for other people to your big dreams, you pretty much become an unstoppable force because that's what you were born to do, was to help people just like you. Does that make sense everybody? Say yes. Can I get an amen? Can we potentially finish? a little louder than we started. Anyway, thank you guys for the time today. I hope today helped you. Thanks so much. All right. Thank you.

Transcript for:Transform Your Life with Ed Milet

Transcript for:
Transform Your Life with Ed Milet