All right, guys. Are you ready to go see the Minecraft movie? Heck yeah, dude. What about you, Cody? Are you ready, Junior? Do I look ready? I'd say I'm ready. Oh, when Jack Black says, "Chicken jockey." Oh, he burning their bed down. We're going to light off fireworks and throw popcorn all over the theater. And I'm going to pull out my live chicken. And I'm going to ride that motherucker all over the theater. No way. Hell yes way. Cody, where'd you get a live chicken? My uncle Skater gave him to me from his farm, but when I asked if I could ride his [ __ ] at the theater, he got really disappointed when I wanted this. Lucky. That's going to be so crazy. We're going to make such a big mess. Oh, it's going to be the biggest inconvenience for the workers to clean all that up. Oh, yeah. They didn't sign up to clean up all this mess. No, they didn't. Wait, did you give the chicken laxatives? Oh, I almost forgot. Here you go, boy. Eat up. We got to make sure you [ __ ] all over the place. Oh, do you think the chicken will [ __ ] right when Jack Black says chicken jockey? We can only hope. Oh, dude. We got to record it. It has to go viral. Oh, it has to go all over Tik Tok. People are going to wish they were in our theater. Mhm. Oh, Cody, how many you think how many of the workers you think are going to quit? Oh, probably all of them. They're going to be up to their knees and chicken [ __ ] and fired. Dude, we're going to be such a headache. Oh, it's going to be so awesome. All right, grab some fireworks. Let's go to the movie theater. I already told Jeffy to meet us there with more fireworks. Oh, great. The more the marrier. I can't forget the rocket. Ooh, Cody, we got four large popcorns. Junior, I just Is that going to be enough? I mean, it's four large popcorns with extra butter. I just want to make sure like you can't even see the floor when we throw all the popcorn around. I mean, it's a lot of popcorn. Isn't the chicken going to be [ __ ] Oh, the chicken [ __ ] right? I almost forgot about the chicken [ __ ] Yeah. And also, we're going to piss on the people's heads in the front of us, right? Yeah. Yeah, I did want to pull my pants down around my ankles and just piss all over the back of their head when he says chicken jockey. Yeah, I mean, so there's going to be so much piss and [ __ ] and popcorn on the floor. So, I mean, this theater is going to be disgusting. Yeah, you're you're right. I'm overthinking that. And also, Joseph has silly string and fireworks. He's going to light this mortar cannon off right when he says chicken jockey. Oh, that's perfect. It's going to be so [ __ ] loud and hopefully it hits the ceiling and it sets off the sprinklers. Oh, I You know what? I don't want to get my hopes up. Let's Let's not jinx it. If it happens, great. But let's not ruin it. God, that's all I want to happen. Now, if that happens, I might actually cry. Yeah. Have you guys seen Jeffy? Hey guys, I brought a gun. Oh, that's perfect. Junior, that is exactly what we've been needing. Jeffy, just make sure when he says chicken jockey, you really unload the clip right into the screen. All right, got it. Yeah. Oh, we're going to make so much noise. We're going to make such a big ass [ __ ] mess. I just I just really want to make sure that we are known as the people who really [ __ ] this theater up. Oh, we're going to get banned. Oh, yeah. I hope my grandkids get banned. I think they're going to ban our dead bodies. Like, they're going to ban our souls. I hope AMC presses charges. Oh, that would be so sick. So [ __ ] cool. Oh, who the the the previews are starting, guys. What's the scariest thing you can imagine in a bush? A squirrel with rabies or a goose with rabies? Or a poisonous snake with rabies? How about a clown in a bush? Clown in a bush. Scared me. Oh man, that movie looks really scary. Yeah. If this theater survives what we're about to do, we should go see it and throw popcorn whenever he jumps out of the bush. Do you like Tom Cruz? Do you like Tom Cruz running? Do you like Tom Cruz doing stunts? Do you like Tom Cruz saving the world? Stop right there. Put the bomb down. Osiris clubs. Keep back, Tom Cruz. You know I have an explosive temper. Well, we better make this quick because I have explosive diarrhea. Well, it looks like you're going to die with poopy pants, Tom Cruz. Because if you can't beat me in rock, paper, scissors before this bomb goes off, half of Dubai is going to go bye-bye. Well, then I guess we're going to be playing rock paper pooper scissors. Mission somewhat possible. Rock, paper, scissors. Shoot. [ __ ] Best two out of three. Man, Tom Cruz has made a lot of those movies. I wonder when he's going to stop. I'm ready for this movie to start sucking like these damn fireworks. Patience, Joseph. Patience. Hey there, movie goers. Jack Black here. Oh yeah, I was in school rock. I am Steve. Just a friendly reminder to be respectful of your fellow movie goers and don't throw popcorn. Oh yeah. All he thinks we're going to do is throw popcorn. Junior, I'm about to piss on some people. When he says chicken jockey, I'm going to squeeze this chicken like he's a ketchup bottle until [ __ ] squirts out of his ass everywhere. Earlier, I put a whole roll of Mentos up his ass and I made him drink an entire 2 L bottle of Diet Coke. And the only thing that's stopping him from bursting like Chernobyl right now is the cork I stuffed in his ass. When that goes, I don't even know what's going to happen. He might actually explode. It's just going to be [ __ ] and feathers everywhere. Junior, [ __ ] yeah. Yeah. I like like JetBlack is going to have to film a whole new warning just for what we're about to do in here. It's going to be like 10 [ __ ] minutes long because they're going to have to realize everything we just did and warn people about every single thing. Oh yeah. Oh my god. You know this movie is going straight to streaming when we're done. Oh yeah, there's no way it's going to be banned from theaters. Oh, the movie's starting, guys. The movie's starting. He's about to say it. He's about to say it. Places, everybody. Places. Joseph, grab your popcorn and get the fireworks ready. Okay, dude. I got you. J, get your popcorn. I have it. Let me get my chicken. Okay, Jeffy, load that gun and grab some popcorn. Okay, look at me directing everybody. This is like a surprise party. You want to make sure it all goes right. Okay, everybody, we only have one shot at this chicken. [Applause] [Applause] Get pull my shorts down. Pull my shorts down. I'm pissing. I'm pissing on everybody. I'm pissing on your head. I'm pissing. Oh my god. The sprinklers are on. Oh my god. Dreams do come true. Oh, the ceiling's on fire. It's the best day of my [ __ ] The ceiling's on fire. Let's evacuate the fire chicken. Guys, today was the best day of my [ __ ] life. It could not have gone better. I mean, that was perfect. Just chef's kiss. I mean, if we had just thrown the popcorn and pissed on some people, that would have been enough. But no, we had the gun and the fireworks and in the chicken, guys, my [ __ ] chicken died. He literally [ __ ] his brains out. His his organs are all over the floor of what was left of that movie theater. This the [ __ ] sprinklers came on. I mean, what more could you ask for? We burned that place the [ __ ] down. And even if it didn't burn down, it wouldn't matter because there's no way they could have cleaned that. They would have had to demolish the whole building anyway just because the stench of all the [ __ ] in the piss. Oh, the piss. How could I forget about the piss? There was a couple in front of us that brought their kid to the movie just hoping for a nice evening out with the family. I pissed all over them. They were mortified. They are never going to go to another movie again. I mean, partially cuz we burned the theater down, but also cuz I pissed on them. I mean, can you imagine the stories they're going to tell? Insane. Infinane. We weren't even humans in there. We were animals. We were chicken jockeyies. Oh, yeah, we were. Let's turn on the news and see if we made the news. Oh, we have to have made the news. Probably the national news. [Music] Breaking news, K. A local movie theater was burned to the ground when a bunch of teenagers shot off fireworks and a gun during the Minecraft movie. These four teenagers are currently wanted. We made the news. We wanted the police want us. Yeah, they do. Joseph, show us the video. Uh-huh. Huh? The the video that you took of us like [ __ ] up the theater. Uh, you have the video, right? I didn't get a chance to get a video. Dude, you didn't get the video? No, I had popcorn and the silly string. And don't forget the fireworks. Yeah, he had a lot of jaws. I only have two hands. We pulled off the greatest chicken jockey of all time. And we don't even have a video of it. We have a memory. That's true. We do have a memory. I mean, it would be really cool if we could have put on TikTok. Yeah, that would have been sick as hell. But, I mean, you know what? I'm selfish. This can just be our little moment just between us as friends and the other people in the movie theater that burned down. Yeah. Yeah. You know, we made the news. That's not nothing either. Yeah. We did make the actual news. Yeah. I mean, there are plane crashes that don't make the news. There's shootings that don't make the news. Yeah. What we did is worse than a shooting. It is. Hey there, you four are under arrest. Yeah. [ __ ] what? Well, you're arresting us cuz we pulled off the greatest chicken jockey of all time. Chicken joggy. Chicken doggy. Chicken jogging. I'm arresting you cuz you burned down a movie theater and you pissed on some people, so you're now a sex offender. Well, that was going to happen eventually, right? Well, no. And also, there was the fireworks. Oh, yeah. The fireworks are sick. Yeah, that was me. Yeah. And then there was the gun thing. That was especially [ __ ] up. Oh, yeah. That was Jeffy's idea. I wish I could take credit for it. So, they just uh, you know, slap on the old handcuffs and take us down to the courthouse. No, I I don't have enough handcuffs. But I mean, you guys have to go to court. Well, you're not like actually going to go to jail, though, right? Yeah. I mean, what do you mean? Of course you're going to go to jail. You committed arson and a whole bunch of other crimes. Wait, Junior, is he is he [ __ ] serious? Yeah. You are you saying facts? Just like a slap on the wrist, though, right? No, I'm I'm talking like prison like multiple years in prison. What? What the [ __ ] That can happen. Wait, it was a joke. Well, it was it was funny though. No, it wasn't funny. You guys You guys committed a bunch of crimes and people got hurt. You know, we're [ __ ] It It was a It was a joke. We did it. It was haha joke. No, there's no exemption for jokes. Joe say it's all your [ __ ] fault for not filming the Tik Tok. If we had the Tik Tok, he'd see it was a joke. He thinks we did it on purpose. You might be right. Yeah. Yeah. And it would have at least been worth it cuz we I mean, we did it on purpose, but like it was a joke purpose. It was pretty funny. We said chicken jockey and [ __ ] I'm going to have to take you guys down to the courthouse. But other people were doing it. No, they weren't. Come on. Well, other people order. I am the honorable judge Boomer and today we will be hearing the case of Junior Joseph Cody and Jeffy. you for being accused of yelling chicken jockey at the Minecraft movie and then throwing popcorn all over the theater, lighting off fireworks, pissing on your fellow movie goers, riding a chicken around the theater while it was [ __ ] shooting a gun, and then eventually burning down the entire movie theater. Boys, what would make you commit such a crazy crime? Well, your honor, Jack Black said chicken jockey like from the Minecraft game. He said a video game reference. How else are we teenage boys supposed to react? Sit in our seats and not ride a live chicken that's [ __ ] I think not. Now, I do see how that would be very exciting for you boys. But you should still know better than to act that way in public. You ruined the movie experience for everybody who was in the theater. Well, even people who weren't in the theater, cuz you burned the entire theater down. My point is, do you boys feel any remorse for what you've done? Your honor, if anyone in the theater is complaining about what we did, they obviously aren't Minecraft fans. They should be proud about how crazy we went. I see you have no remorse for what you've done. Well, since you boys love mining and crafting so much, your punishment will be to build a new movie theater for this community. And you can't have any outside help. You have to build it with wood and pickaxes and and netherrack and redstone or whatever the [ __ ] Your honor, how the [ __ ] are we supposed to build a movie theater? We're just kids. Well, you boys managed to find a way to bring a live [ __ ] chicken and a gun into a movie theater. So, I'm pretty sure you can figure it out. And if you don't build the theater by tomorrow, you will all go to jail for 5 years. Case dismissed. By tomorrow. Come on, guys. Let's get started. But this is [ __ ] impossible. Okay, guys. Let's get started on this movie theater. God, this chicken [ __ ] stinks. Guys, we're so screwed. There's no way we're going to build a movie theater from scratch. Well, I don't know how you'd build it from a scratch. You have to use your fingernails. Scratching is We're not going to build it with no help. We have help, Cody. There's four of us. Okay. Yeah, there are four of us, but we need materials. Okay. Well, one of us can go look for materials. Joseph, go out in the woods and collect wood. Okay, dude. I got you. What do I do? Um, me and Jeffy. Hm. You can go look for hammers. Look for hammers. Yeah. And and pickaxes. I'm just going to find those. Yeah, he's go look for it. And Jeffy, uh, you can go help Joseph look for wood, too, because you're like you have strength, so you can like pull push trees down. Okay. And I I'll just And I'll draw what I think a movie theater should look like. This is stupid. This isn't Minecraft. This is real life. Wait, say that again. I said, "This isn't Minecraft. This is real life." Say the first sentence. This isn't Minecraft. Say that again. This isn't Minecraft. Say it one more time. This isn't Minecraft. But what if it was? What are you talking about? I'll see you at court tomorrow. Where the [ __ ] are you going? We only have 24 hours. Order, order, order, order. I am the Honorable Judge Pub, and today I will be seeing this brand new movie theater that these boys built for our community. Boys, where is this movie theater? It's right here, sir. Oh, I see. This must be a video of it. Oh, no. We made it in Minecraft. What? That's the game Minecraft. We made the movie theater in Minecraft. Oh, that that is actually very cool. You you have the the seats and the screen and that that is that is quite cool. But I actually meant a real movie theater in real life. You never said that, your honor. You said a movie theater for our community and it's a public server so anyone can join and go in the theater. Damn. Damn. Damn. I've been duped. You kids win this time. But I'll be back. I'll be back. Where did he go? It doesn't matter, guys. We won. [Music] Hey.