chapter 19 of Jane air this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit librivox.org recording by Elizabeth clut Jane air by Charlotte Bronte chapter 19 the library looked tranquil enough as I entered it and the Cil if cble she were was seated snugly enough in an easy chair at the Chimney Corner she had on a Red Cloak and a black bonnet or rather a broad brimmed Gypsy hat tied down with a striped handkerchief under her chin an extinguished candle stood on the table she was bending over the fire and seemed reading in a little black book Like a Prayer Book By the Light of the blaze she muttered the words to herself as most old women do while she read she did not desist immediately on my entrance it appeared she wished to finish a paragraph I stood on the rug and warmed my hands which were rather cold with sitting at a distance from the drawing room fire I felt now as composed as ever I did in my life there was nothing indeed in the gypsy's appearance to trouble one's calm she shut her book and looked slowly up her hat brim partially shaded her face yet I could see as she raised it that it was a strange one it looked all brown and black L flocks bristled out from beneath a White Band which passed under her chin and came half over her cheeks were rather Jaws her eye confronted me at once with a bold and direct gaze well and you want your fortune told she said in a voice as decided as her glance as harsh as her features I don't care about it mother you may please yourself but I ought to warn you I have no faith it's like your impudence to say so I expected it of you I heard it in your step as you crossed the threshold did you you've a quick ear I have and a quick eye and a quick brain you need them all in your trade I do especially when I have customers like you to deal with why don't you tremble I'm not cold why don't you turn pale I am not sick why don't you consult my art I'm not silly the old Crone nered a laugh under her Bonnet and bandage she then Drew out a short black pipe and lighting it began to smoke having indulged a while in the stive she raised her bent body took the pipe from her lips and while gazing steadily at the fire said very deliberately you are cold you are sick and you are silly prove it I rejoined I will in a few words you are cold because you are alone no contact strikes the fire from you that is in you you are sick because the best of feelings the highest and the sweetest given to man keeps far away from you you are silly because suffer as you may you will not beckon it to approach nor will you stir one step to meet it where it waits you she again put a short black pipe to her lips and renewed her smoking with Vigor you might say all that to almost anyone who you knew lived as a solitary dependent in a great house I might say it to almost anyone but would it be true of almost anyone in my circumstances yes just so in your circumstances but find me another precisely placed as you are it would be easy to find you thousands you could scarcely find me one if you knew it you are peculiarly situated very near happiness yes Within Reach of it the materials are all prepared there only once a movement to combine them chance laid them somewhat apart let them be once approached and Bliss results I don't understand enigmas I never could guess a riddle in my life if you wish me to speak more plainly show me your palm and I must cross it with silver I suppose to be sure I gave her a shilling she put it into an old stocking foot which he took out of her pocket and having tied it round and returned it she told me to hold out my hand I did she approached her face to the palm and poured over it without touching it it is too fine said she I can make nothing of such a hand as that almost without lines besides what is in a palm Destiny is not written there I believe you I said no she continued it is in the face on the forehead about the eyes and the lines of the mouth kneel and lift up your head ah now you are coming to reality I said as I obeyed her I shall begin to put some faith in you presently I knelt within half a yard of her she stirred the fire so that a ripple of light broke from the Disturbed coal the glare however as she sat only through her face into deeper Shadow mine it illuminated I wonder with What feelings you came to me tonight she said when she had examined me a little I wonder what thoughts are busy in Your Heart during all the hours you sit in Yonder room with the fine people flitting before you like shapes in a magic lantern just as little sympathetic communion passing between you and them as if they really were mere Shadows of human forms and not the actual substance I feel tired often sleepy sometimes but seldom sad then you have some secret hope to bore you up and please you with Whispers of the future not I the utmost I hope is to save money enough out of my earnings to set up a school someday in a little house rented by myself a mean nutriment for the spirit to exist on and sitting in that window seat you see I know your habits you have learned them from the servants ah you think yourself sharp well perhaps I have to speak truth I have an acquaintance with one of them Mrs pool I started to my feet when I heard the name you have have you thought I there is diablerie in the business after all then don't be alarmed continued the strange being she's a safe hand as Mrs pool close and quiet anyone May Repose confidence in her but as I was saying sitting in that window seat do you think of nothing but your future school have you no present interest in any of the company who occupy the sofas and chairs before you is there not one face you study one figure whose movements you follow with the least curiosity I like to observe all the faces and all the figures but do you never single one out of the rest or it may be two I do frequently when the gestures or looks of a pair seem telling a tale it amuses me to watch them what tale do you like best to hear oh I have not much choice they generally run on the same theme courtship and promise to end in the same catastrophe marriage and do you like that monotonous theme positively I don't care about it it is nothing to me nothing to you when a lady young and full of life and health Charming with beauty and endowed with the gifts of rank and Fortune sits and smiles in the eyes of a gentleman you I what you know and perhaps think well of I don't know the gentleman here I have scarcely interchanged a syllable with one of them and as to thinking well of them I consider some respectable and stately and middle-aged and others young dashing handsome and Lively but certainly they are all at Liberty to be the recipients of whose Smiles they please without my feeling disposed to consider the transaction of any moment to me you don't know the gentleman here you have not exchanged a syllable with one of them will you say that of the master of the house he is not at home a profound Remar Mark a most ingenious quibble he went to milk it this morning and will be back here tonight or tomorrow does that circumstance exclude him from the list of your acquaintance blot him as it were out of existence no but I can scarcely see what Mr Rochester has to do with the theme you had introduced I was talking of ladies smiling in the eyes of gentlemen and of late so many smiles have been shed into Mr Rochester's eyes that they overflow like two cups filled above the brim have you never remarked that Mr Rochester has a right to enjoy the Society of his guests no question about his right but have you never observed that of all the tales told here about matrimony Mr Rochester has been favored with the most Lively and the most continuous the eagerness of a listener quickens the tongue of a narrator I said this rather to myself than to the Gypsy whose Strange Talk voice manner had by this time wrapped me in a kind of dream one unexpected sentence came from her lips after another till I got involved in a web of mystification and wondered what unseen Spirit had been sitting for weeks by my heart watching its workings and taking record of every pulse eagerness of a listener repeated she yes Mr Rochester has sat by the hour his ear inclined to the fascinating lips that took such Delight in their task of communicating and Mr Rochester was so willing to receive and looked so grateful for the Pastime given him you have noticed this grateful I cannot remember detecting gratitude in his face detecting you have analyzed then and what did you detect if not gratitude I said nothing you have seen love have you not and looking forward you have seen him married and beheld his bride happy H not exactly your witch's skill is rather at fault sometimes what the devil have you seen then never mind I came here to inquire not to confess is it known that Mr Rochester is to be married yes and to the beautiful miss Ingram shortly appearances would warrant that conclusion and no doubt though with an audacity that wants chastising out of you you seem to question it they will be a superlatively happy pair he must love such a handsome Noble witty accomplished lady and probably she loves him or if not his person at least his purse I know she considers the r estate eligible to the last degree though God pardon me I told her something on that point about an hour ago which made her look wondrous grave the corners of her mouth fell half an inch I would advise her black aist Suitor to look out if another comes with a longer or clearer rent roll he's dished but mother I did not come to hear Mr Rochester's Fortune I came to hear my own and you've told me nothing of it your fortune is yet doubtful when I examined your face one trait cont predicted another chance has Meed you a measure of happiness that I know I knew it before I came here this evening she has laid it carefully on one side for you I saw her do it it depends on yourself to stretch out your hand and take it up but whether you will do so is the problem I study kneel again on the rug don't keep me long the fire scorches me I knelt she did not stoop towards me but only gazed leaning back in her chair she began muttering the flame flickers in the eye the eye shines like Dew it looks soft and full of feeling it Smiles at my jargon it is susceptible impression follows impression through its clear sphere where it ceases to smile it is sad and unconscious lassitude weighs on the lid that signifies Melancholy resulting from loneliness it turns from me it will not suffer further scrutiny it seems to deny by a mocking glance the truth of the discoveries I have already made to his own the charge of both sensibility and Chagrin its pride and Reserve only confirm me in my opinion the eye is favorable as to the mouth it delights at times in laughter it is disposed to impart all that the brain conceives though I dare say it would be silent on much the heart experiences mobile and flexible it was never intended to be compressed in the Eternal Silence of solitude it is a mouth which should speak much and smile often and have human affection for its interlocutor that feature too is propitious I see no enemy to a fortunate issue but in the brow and that brow professes to say I can live alone if self-respect and circumstances require me to do so I need not sell my soul to buy Bliss I have an inward treasure borne with me which can keep me alive if all extraneous Delight should be withheld or offered only to price I cannot afford to give the fored declares reason sits firm and holds the Reigns and she will not let the feelings burst away and hurry her to Wild chasms the passions May rage furiously like true heathens as they are and the desires May imagine all sorts of vain things but judgment still shall have the last word in every argument and the casting vote in every decision strong wind earthquake shock and fire May pass by but I shall follow the guiding of that still Small Voice which interprets the dictates of conscience well said fored your declaration shall be respected I have formed my plans right plans I deem them and in them I have attended to the claims of conscience the councils of reason I know how soon youth would fade and Bloom perish if in the cup of bliss offered but one dreg of shame or one flavor of remorse were detected and I do not want sacrifice sorrow dissolution such is not my taste I wish to Foster not to blight to earn gratitude not to ing Tears of Blood no nor of brine my Harvest must be in smiles and endearments and sweet that will do I think I Rave in a kind of Exquisite delirium I should wish now to protract this moment add in finitum but I dare not so far I have governed myself thoroughly I have acted as I inwardly swore I would act but further might try me beyond my strength rise miss a leave me the play is played out where was I did I wake or sleep had I been dreaming did I dream still the old woman's voice had changed her accent her gesture and all were familiar to me as my own face in a glass as the speech of my own tongue I got up but did not go I looked I starred the fire and I looked again but she Drew her Bonnet and her bandage closer about her face and again beckoned me to depart the flame illuminated her hand stretched out roused now and on the alert for discoveries I had once noticed that hand it was no more the withered limb of el than my own it was a round Supple member with smooth fingers symmetrically turned a broad ring flashed on the little finger and stooping forward I looked at it and saw a gem I had seen a hundred times before again I looked at the face which was no longer turned from me on the contrary the Bonnet was doed the bandage displaced the head Advanced well Jane do you know me asked the familiar voice only take off the Red Cloak sir and then but the string is in a knot help me break it sir there then off ye Lings and Mr Rochester stepped out of his disguise now sir what a strange idea but well carried out eh don't you think so so with the ladies you must have managed well but not with you you did not act the character of a gypsy with me what character did I act my own no some unaccountable one in Short I believe you have been trying to draw me out or in you have been talking nonsense to make me talk nonsense it is scarcely Fair sir do you forgive me Jane I cannot tell till I have thought it all all over if on reflection I find I have fallen into no great absurdity I shall try to forgive you but it was not right oh you have been very correct very careful very sensible I reflected and thought on the whole I had it was Comfort but indeed I had been on my guard almost from the beginning of the interview something of masquerade I suspected I knew Gypsies and fortune tellers did not express themselves as this seeming old woman had expressed herself besides I had noted her feigned voice her anxiety to conceal her features but my mind had been running on Grace pool that living Enigma that mystery of mysteries as I considered her I had never thought of Mr Rochester well said he what are you musing about what does that grave smile signify wonder and self- congratulations sir I have your permission to retire now I suppose no stay a moment and tell me what the people in the drawing room Yonder are doing discussing the Gypsy I dare say sit down let me hear what they have said about me I had better not stay long sir it must be near 11:00 oh are you aware Mr roest that a stranger has arrived here since you left this morning a stranger no who can it be I expected no one is he gone no he said he had known you long and that he could take the liberty of installing himself here till he returned the devil he did did he give his name his name is Mason sir and he comes from the West Indies from Spanish Town in Jamaica I think Mr Rochester was standing near me he had taken my hand as to lead me to a chair as I spoke he gave my wrist a convulsive grip the smile on his lips froze apparently a spasm caught his breath Mason the West Indies he said in the tone one might fancy a speaking automaton to announce its single words Mason the way West Indies he reiterated and he went over the syllables three times growing in the intervals of speaking whiter than ashes he hardly seemed to know what he was doing do you feel ill sir I inquired Jane I've got a blow I've got a blow Jane he staggered oh lean on me sir Jane you offered me your shoulder once before let me have it now yes sir yes and my arm he sat down and made me sit beside him holding my hand in both his own he chafed it gazing on me at the same time with the most troubled and dreary look my little friend said he I wish I were in a quiet island with only you and trouble and danger and hideous Recollections removed from me can I help you sir I'd give my life to serve you Jane if Aid is wanted I'll seek it at your hands I promise you that thank you sir tell me what to do I'll try at least to do it fetch me now Jane a glass of wine from the dining room they will be at supper there and tell me if Mason is with them and what he is doing I went I found all the party in the dining room at supper as Mr Rochester had said they were not seated at table the supper was arranged on the sideboard each had taken what he chose and they stood about here and there in groups their plates and glasses in their hands everyone seemed in high Glee laughter and conversation were General and animated Mr Mason stood near the fire talking to Colonel and Mrs dent and appeared as merry as any of them I filled a wine glass I saw Miss Ingram watched me frowningly as I did so she thought I was taking a liberty I dare say and I returned to the library Mr Rochester's extreme palor had disappeared and he looked once more firm and Stern he took the glass from my hand here is to your health Minister Spirit he said he swallowed the contents and returned it to me what are they doing Jane laughing and talking sir they don't look grave and mysterious as if they had heard something strange not at all they are full of gests and gity and Mason he was laughing too if all these people came in a body and spat at me what would you do Jane turn them out of the room sir if I could he have smiled but if I were to go to them and they only looked at me coldly and whispered sneeringly amongst each other and then dropped off and left me one by one what then would you go with them I rather think not sir I should have more pleasure in staying with you to comfort me yes sir to comfort you as well as I could and if they laid you under a ban for adhering to me I probably should know nothing about their ban and if I did I should care nothing about it then you could Dare centure for my sake I could dare it for the sake of any friend who deserved my adherance as you I am sure do go back now into the room step quietly up to Mason and whisper in his ear that Mr Rochester is come and wishes to see him show him in here and then leave me yes sir I did his behest the company all stared at me as I passed straight among them I sought Mr Mason delivered the message and preceded him from the room I ushered him into the library and then I went upstairs at a late hour after I had been in bed some time I heard the visitors repair to their Chambers I distinguished Mr Rochester's voice and heard him say This Way Mason this is your room he spoke cheerfully the gay tones set my heart at ease I was soon asleep end of chapter 19