all right okay ready to go tell everybody okay so we do our little we do our little prayers so uh yeah hello everybody if we've met before i'm very happy and if we haven't met before i'm also i'm happy to meet you this time the first two lines are for anybody any one of us who already identify with being a buddhist it's reminding us of our reliance on the buddha and his teachings are confirmed and the second two lines are stating what the tibetans would say is stating our motivation but we might say stating our purpose why are we here together for this couple of hours to listen to these teachings of the buddha and that includes me i am also so it's to help the advice is to help us develop what for the buddha is really our extraordinary but also because we live in this crazy world together it's for the sake of others so we can be of benefit to others so we sing our little prayer in tibetan you can just think your thoughts or you can join in or you can read the portuguese words whatever you like okay so [Music] okay okay so what does it mean when the chocolate runs out what should we do when the chocolate runs out well it's pointing to the the whole buddhist approach really which we actually talked about in depth in the weekend but here we are again let's talk about a very particular way it's it's pointing to what buddha calls attachments basically okay no before that one way of describing the whole buddhist path is actually in terms of it's being a method to stop suffering and get happy [Music] fedex and that we sounds like something good we like we want to be happy we don't want to suffer [Music] and this is in fact this is what's presented by the buddha in his very first teaching which is known as the four noble truths the four out of the four the sort of like four facts about life four facts factors i don't think the truth these facts are noble it's just the way they call it i think they're referring to the four facts for the noble ones it's a particular term in sanskrit for those who have realized this realize buddha's teachings it's significant so the first one the first of these is is uh there is suffering the second is there are causes of it the third is we can get rid of the suffering and its causes so yeah so what is the buddhist approach if we look at the first one okay no before that the really the really powerful one isn't it it's the third one we can get we can get rid of suffering and its causes that's possible i mean those words are very simple but they're kind of powerful i mean if we heard someone giving a course or some scientists say i've now discovered this the cause of all suffering and i know how to get rid of it i mean we'd probably pay him 10 billion dollars you know imagine that because even though you know because actually it governs our lives we can think of think about naturally very simply it governs our lives this wish to not suffer is very powerful okay we might say it so simply but it really does our wish to be happy and i wish to avoid suffering really does govern everything we think and do and say in our life and that's just not humans but the dogs and the monkeys as well have a look you know but it's time to simplify well if you can get rid of some i mean if there's you know if if there's a problem and you're trying to find the solution a crucial point is you must point out precisely the problem mustn't you must be very precise about it the first job is to identify clearly the problem is but it seems evident doesn't it that you've got to know what causes it because if you don't know what causes a problem then you can never find the solution everything once you've identified the cause that tells us the solution it implies the solution is well the first one is kind of interesting the first of these truths the first of these facts there is suffering is very interesting already because remember what are we talking about here is what we do when when what do we do when the chocolate runs out means what do we do we don't get happiness what do we do when suffering starts what do we do when we don't get what we want so the first there's one presentation of suffering and it's in terms of three levels of suffering three levels grosser more subtle and more subtle and then of course he presents the causes in the second class just so the first kind of suffering is really is really evident speaking very simply it's when the bad things happen you don't want to happen so you know we've been talking as we've been talking already we can see that's probably a thousand times a day you know seriously things that happen that aren't that aren't what we hoped for we can't understand that because for most of us in our ordinary daily lives they're fairly mild events we don't tend to think of them as suffering it's not even the serious things happen is you know or you get accused of something or sent to prison when you're innocent or a thousand things we can see life life is really intense with so much suffering we can see this it's so evident the world look at it so i think it's really obvious we want to know what the courses are no we talked to the weekend very powerful we were a very powerful way we respond when really bad things happen why is this happening to me and then suffering is so much worse when we realized that there was nothing we did that we could see that that caused it you've been a good good wife for 35 years and you come home and there's a note and i've left you you know that's quite shocking what have i done to deserve that nothing that you can see your child stops talking to you as your child you get fired at work so okay so um so what's so what's so what's going on here what are the causes well we've talked a lot the weekend if you're there we've talked a lot the causes so we go to the second noble truth this is where buddha very precisely articulates his view of why suffering happened to me why is their suffering and we look at these causes of suffering this is where we really you know we really can see precisely buddha's big picture view of the world his approach to the world his philosophy his viewpoint is so you know as we talked the the buddhist view okay okay let's just even talk about happiness you know let's say we're saying what is there is happiness there are causes you can develop happiness to perfection and there are methods of how to do it you can say that just as much as the other way of saying it is and in terms of suffering it's called karma and then the deluded states of mind and in terms of happiness it's called karma and the virtuous states of mind yes [Music] it's it's sort of shorthand for that for what the buddha would say is this natural law of cause and effect that kind of within which the universe runs that every millisecond of what we think and do and say for the buddha every millisecond what we think and do and say that won't go astray but both as memories but also this idea of sowing seeds is the analogy they use in the in literature yeah and these seeds naturally will eventually if we don't do anything if we don't pull the seeds out and do something with them they're going to ripen as particular as our future experiences yes that's the main essentials nothing like that in buddhism nothing like that in buddhism because he's not a creator doesn't run the universe he's not the boss like we've talked he is a person who through his own hard work came to certain observations about the universe and then presented them [Music] so this this karma is created by karma is created these causes are created first by the mind the real meaning of the real meaning of the word karma is mental action there's a saying in tibetan that everything exists on the tip of the wish the thought what goes on in our mind actually for the buddha completely runs our lives everything we do with our body and speech is driven by what's in the mind but if we look at our lives this is quite this seems a very on the one hand it seems a very evident thing to say but on the other hand if we look at our lives we don't think like this message before the buddha is making is everything we think and then do and say is is the very process that produces the person i become that we don't think estrogen base but i've like i've mentioned before we do understand it when it comes to my becoming a mathematician or a musician we know we created the musician we had to depend upon a piano and a teacher et cetera et cetera but we were the one who did the work every single day professor [Music] on the piano we really do understand we created the musician not like in a magical sense created but an ongoing cause and effect sense yeah we call this learning but the same approach for the buddha is in relation to our emotions and thoughts and feelings like the presence of being good at football or music or math come on [Music] tendency to be angry or violent or jealous or good at music i think they said say hi come from previous tendencies come from my habit of having done them before in one sense it's reasonable we understand it the extent of which i'm good at piano today is obviously dependent upon my hard work yesterday and the day before we get it we don't think the main cause is my habit to be that from yesterday and the day before especially the unhappy qualities the anger the jealousy the resentment the depression these are our mental tendencies exercises and things just mean face so of course we then we then think well you know how come i've got born with a tendency to be good music how come i'm born with a tendency to be angry and this points to this fundamental difference in buddha's analysis of who we are and where we come from very different from the from the creator mode religions and very different from the material this one uh our consciousness is our mind or our consciousness is not a handiwork of either a creator or our parents and you track yourself back to mommy daddy grandma grandpa back to the monkeys that's that's the way we look at it isn't it [Music] and before that from a previous life and before that from a previous life this is the buddha's view this is observation about the universe this is a world view that's been around for like three thousand years and it's deeply presented in all the literature videos [Music] yeah so so then so then the implication of this view is this is pretty clear you know if i come into this world program with my own past tendencies and if we look at all these tendencies in terms of happiness and suffering but i don't want something but i do want happiness even if we just look into our own mind forget there's another level of it i'm going to go into but even we're just looking to our mind then it's very powerful the implication of karma is it you know that i can that i can take responsibility for it and because it's not set in stone if it's going to be causing me misery i can change it is so one of the ways our past tendencies ripen in the present one of the ways our past actions karma which leaves seeds in the mind ripen in the present is is our tendency to be like that so the body's view of the mind as we you know we discussed the weekend the buddhist view of the mind is very it's again extensive and vast the way it's presented but that we can narrow down all the contents of our mental consciousness all the contents of our mental consciousness down right down to sort of really basic qualities some fundamental qualities and we recognize all of them we've got a bunch of unhappy neurotic and for the buddha i based fear-based distressing states of mind we're very familiar and then we have lots of good qualities we know that the happy ones the pleasing ones the the joyful ones love compassion kindness forgiveness world we give equal stages to all of these as being a normal part of a normal person but the borders approach which is you know which we've discussed the buddha's approach is no the virtuous qualities which are the source of our happiness we can develop these to perfection they are at the core of our being are not at the core of our being are the source of our suffering our pain and why we harm others so these we can read get rid of yeah remain of our suffering or indeed two main causes of our happiness the main one one is called karma which means action and then but the second one is the main one what's in our mind the the the state of mind that drives that action the mind for the buddha is the boss this is something i think everybody can really begin to look at to begin if we're brave enough to begin to agree with uh forget about karma you know forget about even why you're born with anger or love or being good at music i think every one of us has examples in our lives where we first we were angry and then we changed our mind and forgave them one example and where everybody has an example like that that's the proof that we can the buddhist point is that we can change our mind it's not set in stone but what makes it difficult you know from the buddha's perspective as we've talked is these two main states of mind that are so kind of normal that we don't even think about it called attachment and anger you know in the categories of states of mind where buddha talks about the neurotic deluded unhappy ones and the positive virtuous ones these are the neurotic deluded ones and it's not moralistic we know it's true the fee the way you feel when you can forgive somebody is much better than the way you feel when you're angry establishing [Music] they're deep in our bones and they're almost there they're existing at the level of assumption they're just living at the level of an assumption and like we talked in the weekend we really need to unpack those assumptions it's not that easy but we need to do that so we all want happiness and all don't want suffering that's valid the buddha would even say that's a major that's a major step we have to take in order to have compassion for others because everybody wants happiness nobody wants suffering we want we need to learn to try and see that to develop compassion perspective we have to first understand why in the first place okay let's not forget that forget that so again let's forget about karma even the bigger picture let's forget about past lives all that for a minute if we look at our ordinary life mean by suffering isn't it excuse me to me tonight but we've gotta we really should analyze why why is that suffering i'm going to but generally because suffering is another word for unpleasant feelings so basically it's our response to the unhappy feelings that we can now just look at and which is the buddhist approach if we learn skillfully we can respond differently to when we have unhappy feelings we can respond differently to when we have happy feelings we can learn to change the way we respond so basically this attachment this simple word that we don't much use in our own lives but as for buddha is huge for this attachment it's really this junkie inside us that's driving everything it's an assumption that somehow i must only get the good things [Music] for the nice things out there to happen and the nice feelings in here triggered by it you when it whenever it doesn't get the nice thing it's obvious the response that's the unhappy feelings yes [Music] so there's two things there's the unhappy feelings then there are happy feelings in the the positions if anybody is going to study buddhist psychology in more depth these are crucial points they sound very minor but these are major points to understand the difference between these species [Music] so using the buddhist view basically we all are desperate to get happy feelings so part of our problem is with our with what buddha would say is the samsaric view of the world we totally believe that the pleasant feelings come from the nice boyfriend the good thing happening when the testament gets what it wants the pleasant weather not getting sick etc etc so that's what attachments job is like this junkie that has to try and make sure we get only the nice things so i can be happy in here that's when the junkie can't get the fix instantaneously it triggers unpleasant feelings instantaneously and then aversion kicks in so in the mahayana level of the path in the compassion wing the more advanced level there are these even the advanced level of that level there are these profound practices that they they refer to as um learning to like problem lovers over puts it we need to learn to like problems like we like ice cream it's logical we have to ask the question why on earth would i want to do that okay because what is saying attachment and aversion these these neurotic assumptions deep in our bones are leading us completely in the wrong direction we really believe at the moment that what happiness is is when attachment gets what it wants to do what he means by that subtle level of suffering is what we mean by happiness that sounds very depressing depressive but because basically he says attachment is leading us up a garden path attached to this misconception belief deep in our bones when i get the nice thing a nice cake boy um the nice one ever really believes then i'll get happiness and this is the problem because this attachment the buddha talks about at a very subtle level it's hard to see it because it's so primordial inside us never satisfied with what i've got [Music] never satisfied with how much my boyfriend tells me he loves me this is a very aching disease we've all got actually and from the buddha from the big picture point of view it's the result of practicing attachment before yo so naturally because you're not satisfied you hanker after something believing that when you get it you'll get happy because we believe that happiness is out there the object that we get will bring happiness this is not moralistic what is basically saying we got a misconception that that that is the cause of happy feelings the there's no question contact with the handsome boy in the delicious cake do trigger happy feelings no argument economy so this is really looking at this deeply this is really pointing to the buddha's big picture big view about the nature of our mind that our own consciousness as we progress spiritually lessening attachment lessening anger lessening fears et cetera et cetera let's program these kind of these this this pollution in our mind but she's not at the core of our being seeing something else deep this is the essence of being a buddhist essay beginning to recognize these neurotic states of mind actually are liars they represent the world to us in a way that the world doesn't exist and when we follow them like when we believe the cake will make me happy the boy will make me happy this is very depressing to hear but he says we should look at our experience and we can prove what he's saying is true so naturally we think we're going to get some food okay she basically says that you caught your only meat so attachment kicks in and you get all excited about the cake because the tattoo the deliciousness of the cake and we really attach what makes us believe that i'll get happiness when i get the cake i'll feel happy it'll stop the pain oh i usually the first mouthful is the best anyway i keep opening up the first method first mouthful ah i mean the best pleasure is that first mouthful on my own if we analyze that's really true we anticipate so exciting with the second mouthful but if we look carefully it's a bit less than the first one and then the third mouthful of course we don't analyze we just do all this automatically don't we clarify too much so we go from being hungry remember suffering suffering it's all excited boys you want a vomit for me so what happened in between it's okay it's what we call happiness i said something what we call happiness is getting what attachment wants isn't it to the anticipating of it the cake i'm talking about to getting it and then before you know it you're revolting again and you just and you have another level of suffering now the suffering of being fooled what happened so orville is saying sorry guys it is happiness but it changes into suffering but we don't want to hear that for a very simple reason we don't have any other method for triggering happy feelings [Music] this is the second kind of something the suffering of having attachment is but the second level is suffering i meant to say good things i mean it sounds very unkind of buddha to point this out it sounds very moralistic and very fundamentalist you know especially [Music] hey guys i found a method to get very happy levels of joy that won't change into suffering don't hear this is religion forget the long term the buddha says long term we can't even conceive of the marvelous potential of our mind having of depression anger jealousy attachment low self-esteem is in its nature painful [Music] then check how you feel when you're loving kind forgiving generous when everything's when you when you feel relaxed inside it is so evident the difference is unbelievable to get all the long-term view about karma forget all that one all together [Music] anyone anyone could understand this one if we look okay if we look carefully the way what is saying is this ego grasping attachment anger distress anxiety etc etc are in their nature unbearably painful they are suffering kindness forgiveness generosity etc are happy not so anatomy we can prove this to ourselves this is not this is not this is scientific this is you can prove this to yourself by looking at your own experiences so of course what's what's the learning from this what well it's hard because right now we know we have happy feelings and we know we have unpleasant feelings we know that we accept education but our problem is we think those feelings come from external world we think they come from certain things happening to us so when we think of the anger we think of the person who harmed us why should i go that's the person that should change i did nothing wrong i could have been sick thinking i'm allowed to be angry what we're looking at is our interpretation of these things we know the attachment and the neediness and the emotional hunger and the anger and the jealousy and the fears and the anxiety are painful this we know we've got to change our analysis of them don't we if we're going to do it we've got to change our analysis this is why i was you know i was often mentioned my experiences with my friends in prison so they're really extreme examples of when bad things happen and you can't change the bad thing but how you know i've always been very it's always very powerful experiences for me these these girls the one woman i always think about her the most incredible suffering in prison for 17 years her husband was executed she was accused of murder she lost her children she lost her parents unbelievable suffering um [Music] but they couldn't take my mind from me [Music] i mean these words are so simple they can't take my mind from me i've got a choice these are simple words if you're in the midst of incredible suffering it seems almost insane to think that you can change the way you interpret it in order to suffer less it seems very hard to accept that doesn't it that that's how deep these misconceptions are for the buddha but i see [Music] and this is this is the essence of the buddhist approach day to day practice becoming familiar with your mind distinguish between the neurotic eye eye-based fear-based unhappy ones and the positive optimistic valid reasonable ones positive i mean this is not our view in modern psychology at all isn't it and it is the hardest job we'll ever do there's no question there is so it's the hardest job we'll ever do because these habits of responding with aversion to when bad things happen is just so deep in our mind because attachment to get the nice things is so deep in our mind so what we're talking about now actually i think you could be a communist you could be a materialist you could be a christian you could be a muslim it doesn't matter these words are really quite common sense i think we can all agree and understand these things if we're brave enough the four minutes i was having a break i just looked at some news on any one of the things on my ipad and it was interview with one of the nurses in one of the hospitals in the states who's dealing with the pen with all the dying people you know there she is in this awful situation completely exhausted doing extra shifts because they haven't got enough nurses i mean she's exhausted because of working too hard in other words speaking very simply your attachment is not you know what she would prefer to be is with her children what she'd prefer to be is relaxed easy going in other words her attachment isn't getting what it wants so it's a rising all this exhaustion which is including with aversion and then it becomes depression all of this we understand it you know oh because there she is dealing with people who are dying every so this is a whole extra component you know it was just simply being too tired because she's working hard you know normally you get you get fed up so no noise i figured out you know share you you blame the hospital because you've got to work too hard when you're forced to have to have compassion for somebody this is a profound a profound thing to do you know because this is what is very interesting now the buddhist analysis when we think of compassion prevent space and compensation when we see terrible things happen which is true for this nurse she's seeing in her every day these young people compassion is in the positive heading it's a it's a powerful virtuous empathetic valid state of mind [Music] and actually compassion can't cause you suffering states of mind can't cause you suffering it starts positive as you mentioned so you you know if i think of somebody let's say like the dalai lama think of dalai lama for example you know you could say that he's an example of the of the proof of this practice we're talking about he's like he's a person who's done the job so if you look at his life over the last 60 years since he's been exiled just from the point of view of the environment it's just unbelievably it's un it's heartbreaking the way the country's been destroyed you know all the wild animals you know just just destroyed so much suffering so much something just environmentally not to mention the human being suffering you know hey and you look at the history of what's happened to this country and it's continuing to happen and it's continuing to happen i mean he should be out of his brain with misery you should be out of his he should be mentally ill from the intensity of your suffering for 60 years hasn't stopped this does not make sense to us it's a facebook thing how could a person with so much suffering not stop working for 60 years to try and change the situation how could they be happy this doesn't make sense to us at all it's not logical and it's completely natural if we have anxiety we get angry if we get depressed we really feel it's natural to be this way it seems almost insane to think that with all this suffering you could be joyful it just doesn't make sense does it seems weird but i'm not as i'm going [Music] this is not being moralistic it's not being heavy but that that woman in prison on death row 17 years of nightmare how brave and courageous he is so and this all this is doing is pointing to the buddhist the essential buddhist approach today that no matter how bad things are out there we have we have we can learn to be we can learn to change the way we think and feel so why would i want to get for this because i don't want to suffer okay i'd rather be happy i just guess if it is i mean it's a simple car as i said you can be a communist and understand this you know [Music] it's not religious the depression the despair the anger etc are unbearable [Applause] i mean this woman i met this woman in prison i i read a memoir briefly years ago and i've only met her she's been out of prison now for a long time and i i'm now i see her and we talk you know so i've met many people but either have been in prison or have had terrible suffering i've been in wars and have what we call in the west ptsd isn't it post-traumatic stress syndrome it is i mean it really is true we can see that some people the experiences they've been through are so unbearable that you just of course that's what ptsd is you bury them because it's unbearable you don't know how to handle it at the time you simply can't cope so you push meditation technique that's been around well before the buddha these indians invented it beforehand the technique's not magic techniques day by day you become more and more familiar with what's happening in here because that technique helps you do that and then you take this buddhist analysis of this attachment and aversion all of us and this is the monkeys the dogs and the ants and the humans it's all the same though todd and then naturally when the nice things don't happen enough and that could either be intense anger but some are hiding things or more mild annoyed irritated upset frustrated which is daily so this woman talked about how she was in her own cell i mean she was completely innocent she was this hippie in the 70s with her husband hitching in florida got and they got accused of killing two police and they're on death row husband even got executed and then she was in her own cell for like years in isolation or something most normal people go completely mad like that i've met many she knew she could choose to think and feel differently all i can do is call that unbelievable emotional intelligence isn't it is but nothing goes astray most nightmares nothing in the buddha would say nothing gets everything one llama said it's like we're shooting a movie all day sorry when lama said it's like you're shooting him shooting a movie all day everything we see hear smell taste touch think about gets stored in the mind you can't who have this ptsd they call it we call it and what so what the difference between them and her she was dealing with what was happening as it happened and so what don't so don't wait till you're on death row wrongly accused of killing two policemen to start to do that please don't we don't pay attention to most of the things that happen in our day it's only when the serious things happen that we notice when you get when your husband doesn't do the right thing each of those baby moments is more mean attachment doesn't get what it wants so anger arises but it's only small but it cannot but we don't deal with it because you don't need that it builds up and so when the serious things happen when that every second something's happening in the mind so we have to learn to be in charge of it we have to learn to know it we have to learn to be aware of it we have to learn to own it and help work with it each moment that's the plan then you would never get ptsd you would never go crazy this is a fact this is not mystical moment and the point about this is who is the beneficiary of this thing's beneficiaries we are noise is very simple for our sake and this is daily practice yes then if you do this they've civil support to deal with the difficult ones the serious ones she's dealing with the suffering as it's happening you know she's every second making decisions to work with her mind so he could continue to do her job and then when she comes home instead of being exhausted and crying all over her babies she now becomes a mum she's you can see she's every second working with her mind we all do this to some degree but this is the the essence of what practices is is and that's why certainly i know as a buddhist you know studying all the literature and studying and listening to how they talk about how amazing the human mind is what we are capable of this is very encouraging that's why it's inspiring to read all the stories about the great meditators the great yogis you know or inspiring just to read the memoir of this woman who's been in prison and how she worked with it it's encouraging we go wow i can do that too if she can do it i can do it i mean this woman i've talked to quite a bit the last couple of months i've we just talked casually you know if you met her you just think she's she's now like 70 something she's just this nice little old lady he was wrongly accused of killing two policemen for 17 years a husband was executed she lost her children and her family but there's not one ounce of anger or kind of ptsd in her you can see she's just this little pleasant little old lady living in ireland with a husband you'd never know ever you'd never know her history from how she is because she's worked on her mind then of course and you open your eyes and you see that the whole world is the same then you can have compassion for others we're all in the same boat i think we have to have some questions we'll do more on monday but from up before but any questions about now i think i'd like any questions about this moment are there any questions right now just based on what i'm saying now i think denise has one question she can't raise her hand because she's a co-host okay tell us her question what's your question sweetheart okay [Music] so this person in the prison she can purify her karma doing practices but that is saying that she she would have to also to um gay merits to create merits how could she generate merits inside the prison yeah but i mean if we put that i'm just using i mean i'm i'm using ordinary language and describing her life i didn't purposely use those types of words clearly they're buddhist concept something so when you think of those words purify and create mirror let's look at them every moment of suffering you have the momentum accept it or own it or if because you can't change it and she couldn't because that is purification and that is merit it's amanda what do you think denise what do you think purification means getting rid of the rubbish and merit is creating virtue she never stopped creating virtue every second by forgiving letting go of it not being angry dealing with a mind i mean that's like atomic bombs on delusions more and they're very affected i mean that she's not even angry there's no anger there she doesn't even talk about the people who wrongly accused her she doesn't go on about it there's no drama there's no residual so that's incredible that's both marriage and purification right there she might call it that she's not a buddhist um and also the fact that she could say i am not a prisoner i am a monk i am not in a cell i'm in a cave that's completely the view of emptiness she was practicing renunciation problems that's the buddha's analysis of her experience do you understand my point today she didn't say any of that she's not a buddhist yeah no i'm just do you understand my point thinking thank you so much any other questions yes no it's melissa miss trina yes darling talk to me oh here melisa is good darling talk to me um [Music] so she is she's asking um how can she can one deal with um the attack attachment to basic needs like shelter food but in terms of basic needs mm-hmm of course this is a cashmere knowledge is just the same exactly the same yes if we this is the thing that's hard to see because it's not our analysis in the west difficulty that woman in prison got none of her needs fulfilled she was living in this disgusting cell disgusting food and everything was revolting none of her senses were satisfied in any way so she wasn't getting anything fulfilled you could say that [Music] um so she was learning to accept the reality what she couldn't change so of course if you you know because we're so because you know the buddha's analysis is we've got these human bodies because of countless lifetimes of attachment that's caused us to have these five org sense organs and have the attachment to have the craving to fulfill the needs of this body that's very old habit so if you get if you starve obviously you'll die but still the suffering doesn't come from the suffering comes from the attachment in the in the states of mind that's what's so powerful is this is why the greatest meditators who have done all this work that we're describing have got renunciation given up attachment given up anger have got calm abiding have realized emptiness got body teacher highly evolved yogis they are able to completely sustain themselves by living on the air they don't even they can extract the essence from the four elements they don't even need food they don't even need sleep because that's because they're mentally so advanced and have given up the delusions you is there's a whole practice in um tibetan medicine and the and the llamas and the great meditators utilize this it's called chu len chun lin and these doctors or the llamas get the take the essence from all the minerals of all the natural environment which is what tibetan medicine is and then these yogis who meditate for years and years can live just on these pills they get very skinny but it gives them much energy and there's very because they don't have much attachment so it sustains them their bodies get very fast but they can meditate for years living on these little pills this is magical yes some of them like i said they can live they can take the essence from the air itself they're so subtle they're so advanced one of one of our llamas a great meditator he lived like that for years but it is but the buddha's got these methods where we can go beyond the norm [Music] yeah someone else what's your name darling carol caron i had two questions but i want to make one because we're telling the time uh what what can we do in the right moment of anger when we are so what we can understand i understand darling say it in portuguese and on my computer screen she's in the same position as you on the right hand corner i remember it this points to the whole our whole problem in the way we look at these things in our culture the fact is when we express our emotions you know like anger when the body's shaking and the eyes are wide and the spit is coming out the mouth and the crying and the crazy words it's only then that we go well i must be angry with and why that is is because we don't pay attention to our thoughts throughout the day when it's already getting angry the thoughts are already there but we're not paying attention and our trouble is because we're so addicted to the body and our physical feelings that we only notice it when you're screaming this is too late so the point is it's like the the real one is nothing much you can do at that moment except not kill the person hopefully for yourself [Music] it's a bit like driving 150 kilometers an hour on the road to suddenly notice the cars the wheels are breaking down the wheels are collapsing you can't do much at that point it's too powerful so at the same time when you're really angry all you can do is have some if you're lucky have some awareness that can help you change i mean look that's why people kill each other because they don't have that awareness that's the tragedy moment [Music] you know i mean you read stories about say a um say abused women in relationships for example and you hear stories after 40 years of marriage doesn't children's success i mean not being rude but what is it about us that for 40 years she hasn't noticed her anger is she just didn't suddenly get angry she'd been angry for 40 years but she didn't look at it she suppressed [Music] you must decide to go back to basics to start practice so you can start to con first first practice first one at least make a decision every day to not shout the words to control your body and speech this is a really advanced practice already i mean that woman for 40 years of suffering 40 years of being abused by her husband she didn't have any power in herself she was the complete victim mentality which is what we're like when we don't know our minds she didn't know she had choices she didn't know she could have walked out any day she didn't know that that's the tragedy of our suffering in our culture because we so we're so disconnected from our own thoughts and feelings and emotions yes do you understand carol just nod yeah so this brings you to another level of attachment which is really even more depressing and more profound more primordial more deep this attachment is the deepest one of all is so what it's saying this attachment in us is basically saying i am nothing is brave other people to like me praise me say good things about me because we need that to even show to ourself that i'm worthwhile this is our worst suffering of all they talk about the yogis in the mountains have given up everything given up attachment to sex drugs rock and roll everything well but they're still thinking about what the people in the village are thinking about them is [Music] our body speech and mind like denise was saying every day is so important then we become more and more conscious of what's happening in our mind more and more conscious more and more conscious and then we're going to notice that what's driving everything we think and do and say especially when we're living around other people a very arrogant person a very arrogant person wanting the good feedback from mommy in other words this attachment and it sounds too shocking almost to speak a bit like this we should ask this question why do i need other people to like me i'm not saying it's not good to be liked it's wonderful we have a good communication with each other it's wonderful [Music] but when it's the assumption that if people don't like me i mustn't be a good person that's when it's insane and that's how we are a problem in other words attachment is the symptom of a very low self-esteem person you don't want to stop and this prevents us from being authentic making the you know so what keeps people in relationships for so long that are really obviously abusive or just no good anymore [Music] [Music] so you know i remember reading about one australian nurse who did work with her dying in australia and she wrote a book the five greatest regrets of the dying. and the greatest regret oh i pinched me to my eye i didn't follow my heart i didn't really do what i knew i was was the right thing to do now that's that's very profound if you can really sacrifice yourself and have genuine compassion but most of us it's just it's a fear that drives us fear to do something because we might get criticized fear to make an extreme decision that we might get not seen as good this holds us back it's the worst suffering it's the worst suffering so the key thing here the summary really of what we've been talking about the summary because like that woman in prison 17 years he said i realized i could choose i had a choice to think something when things are going nicely in our life that's great because the moment the chocolate runs out of chocolate moment attachment isn't getting what it wants anxiety stress anger depression you whatever it is with your personality so the voice of attachment is always hungrily wanting the nice thing and the voice of aversion when attachment doesn't get what it wants or the stress or anxiety should not be happening what are our choices ever there's only two ever there's only two choices this is very shocking there's only two choices it's such a consciousness whether it's your boss your sister your husband when you've been accused of murder whatever the scenario is you've got two options yes i joke when i say and it's not a joke that actually it's a it's an accepted number that 40 percent of all women on the planet who get murdered are murdered by the bloke in the same bed so we had the courage all of us it's not criticizing any of us we're all the same if we had the courage when the situation got so bad that we realized we couldn't handle it the decision is i will leave that's why my friends in prison are such a powerful example but they they they did the second choice to accept this reality and change their mind about it so all this is all of all the people in victim in abusive relationships for example male female i don't care this could be an abusive work relationship a sister brother relationship your husband relationship any relationship that's abusive and that you're the victim and we've all got some in our lives we're victim to somebody we are not imp there is no lock on the door but there might as well be there might as well be it's as if the door is locked it's as if we're in prison it's as if we have no choice it's as if there's a door locked and we can't get out but there is not that shows the suffering of our mind so if we can't handle something if we're just simply not equipped to handle the suffering and that's perfectly reasonable stop seeing your mother this seems like outrageously simple doesn't it or no i might be criticized no it's the wrong thing to do we are out of our brains with misery you know because we have we're so disconnected from our own reality video [Music] we have to [Music] okay have courage okay we do our little prayers again i'm john because you're saying most places so we just think how amazing two whole hours we've been you know in as many thoughts as we've had in this two hours not one of those has gone astray everyone has programmed our mind everyone has gone into our mind we've sown these seeds in our minds so this first little prayers that's why i'm making this aspiration that all these seeds be planted then may we may we nourish them from this moment forward so that they do develop in the eventually in them in the dive so they do manifest in the development of our amazing potential so we really can be a benefit to others potentially and these two other prayers is really just the essence of it may all the may we grow and grow compassion and maybe we grow and grow wisdom the two wings of the birth is [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] thank you everybody so so much thank you thank you again