Overview
This scenario humorously explores what might have happened if Kanye West had been given power in Austria-Hungary during World War I, analyzing whether his presence could have prevented the empire's collapse.
Austria-Hungary Before WWI
- The empire was deeply divided politically and ethnically despite recent industrialization.
- By 1914, modernization had occurred but feudal structures and unrest persisted.
- The outbreak of World War I and internal instability led to its dissolution by 1918.
Kanye West’s Hypothetical Involvement
- Kanye is transported to 1914 Austria-Hungary with only his album "Graduation" and several CD players.
- He faces significant language barriers and societal discrimination as a Black man in early 20th-century Europe.
- Initially, Kanye struggles to communicate or influence military strategy, resulting in military setbacks similar to real history.
Rising Influence and Military Campaigns
- Over time, Kanye's music is embraced by troops, boosting morale and uniting the empire's diverse ethnic groups.
- Inspired and unified, the Austro-Hungarian army achieves a surprising victory in Serbia and attracts Italy to the Central Powers.
- Kanye introduces "combat Yeezy boots" with music playback for soldiers, aiding initial successes against Russia.
Decline and Collapse
- The offensive against Russia falters due to logistical failures, poor equipment, and declining quality of morale-boosting music.
- Kanye's mental health deteriorates from negative feedback; he is hospitalized and removed from command.
- Following controversial public statements, Kanye is arrested and stripped of assets, further destabilizing the empire.
Final Years and Aftermath
- Austria-Hungary suffers heavy losses as leadership collapses and mutinies spread among the troops.
- Italy switches sides again, and the empire unconditionally surrenders; its lands are partitioned.
- Kanye's conduct ultimately causes more division, contributing to the empire's downfall.
Parodic Epilogue
- Adolf Hitler, inspired by Kanye, rises with the "National Kanye fan German Workers party."
- The scenario ends with humorous speculation about Elon Musk vowing revenge in a future conflict.