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Little Red Riding Hood, more like Little Red Serving Good. Skyroller check, helicopter pad, dropping off the buddy bag, money tog, yes I got the gifford gab, don't interject, don't intercept, you ain't on the jet, you and me ain't a bitch with this kind of money yet. And don't get it twisted, it is floor length. The 2005 animated movie Hoodwinked sits at the inner sanctum of the central temple inside the metropolis inside the largest continent of the MMCU. This movie was very crucial to my development as a 10 year old, specifically the line Dinemite, must be Italian.
Everything about this movie is funny to me. The fact that it was an independent release and the guy who financed it was an entrepreneur who created Sky Vodka. Sky Vodka and Hoodwinked on the resume, that's fierce.
The fact that it's a children's police procedural mystery comedy film. The fact it was inspired by Pulp Fiction and Memento. The fact that the sequel is mislabeled as being R18 Plus on YouTube. This movie looks bad.
That wolf was gonna eat us all. The guy's paw prints are all over the room. Bucket.
Hold the phone, Fuzzy Wuzzy. And that's okay. In fact, sometimes the feralness of the animation helps the jokes land better. But I do think if this was made by Disney, Pixar or DreamWorks and had the budget to emulate the animation style of other releases from around the same time, like Madagascar and Robots, then I think it would have smashed so much harder than it did. And it did smash, don't get it twisted.
It just comes down to the budget. They didn't have the budget to make it look like the computer animation from the big studios, so they decided to make the animation style similar to Stop Motion, which would be the same. would be cheaper, but it's like, uh, computer animation made to look like stop motion animation. It just doesn't really land.
I think it looks weird because we can clearly tell it's not actually stop motion. So the style reference doesn't really work unless you already know what they're trying to do. I find it especially ill, ill, ill.
Why does it look like that? When human characters come on screen? Like, ew, what is that?
And I mean, compare it to Wallace and Gromit or Chicken Run. And it's like, oh, that's actually stop motion. But again, guys, it's a budget issue.
According to Hoodwink director Corey Edwards, the budget of this movie was $8 million. I read somewhere that Edwards used Kermit the Frog as an example of a well-written, likable character that doesn't necessarily prioritize technical quality. And I see that in this movie.
The characters are cool, the story is super fun and weird, and the storytelling techniques and pacing are so interesting. It's just weird, and I like how weird it is and the fact that we actually have this movie. Hoodwinked is a retelling of Little Red Riding Hood, but it's non-linear, and it shows multiple characters intersecting versions of events.
Flashback stories that intersect... hmm where have I seen that before? I also just love it when films give you different perspectives of the same event.
Yes, it can sometimes get too unnecessarily com- complicated but I feel like Hoodwinked hits the sweet spot. Like this is a tight 73 minutes and I feel like it's quite engaging the whole way through. Alas the budget does not explain away every single aspect of this movie looking terrible. The film looking dead was actually a choice.
They wanted the film to look organic and different to other animation projects so they rubbed dirt into the colours. That's gonna go ahead and be a no from me. So yada yada yada backstory backstory.
The film was made and they're looking for a distributor. They got an offer from Dreamworks but didn't like it and the project eventually got picked up. by the Weinstein Company. With this studio's attachment, they recast the film with bigger actors.
So the thing was done. Like the voice actors had done the entire film. They had screened it at some festival. Weinstein Company saw it. They're like, yep, let's work together.
And they recast it with bigger actresses and actors. That's why we have Anne Hathaway, Glenn Close. Fuck you, bitch.
I've mentioned this before when talking about other animated movies, but it kind of sucks when voice actors get... pushed to the side for the sake of having bigger names on the poster. There's also restrictions on how much the new voice cast could improvise since the animation was technically done.
And the flip side of that being any improvisation by the original voice cast wouldn't be credited to them. Bro, that sucks. But all that aside, Hoodwinked did do well at the box office. It made $110 million off that $8 million budget and sold 700,000 DVD copies in its first week of sales.
That is very good. Something that I realized when I decided to do this video is that this movie is b****** borderline suspiciously hard to find. You can't stream it anywhere. You can't rent it on YouTube or Amazon Prime, at least in Australia.
It's almost like they're trying to make it lost media. Lost media. 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42. They're trying to cancel Hoodwinked. Gen Z is trying to cancel Hoodwinked.
So what I'm going to do is preserve media history by talking about the plot of the movie. And I'm also going to highlight some quotes because even though this movie does look terrible, the script is great. I'm going to tell you right now that is the number one quote of the movie. That is just fact and reality, two things that I dabble in and don't play about. So as I said, this movie is a retelling of Little Red Riding Hood.
And actually at the start of the film, it says, There's more to every tale than me. It's the eye. The classic story we know is that we have Sister Red arriving at Granny's house and there's a wolf pretending to be Granny. Wolf wanted Granny nachos, etc, etc.
So that's where Hoodwink starts. Red arrives at Granny's house and Granny is absolutely clearly a wolf in disguise. Your face looks really weird, Granny.
Plastic surgery. Grandma's had a little work done. What big hands you have. What big ears you have.
All the better to hear your many criticisms. That is going in the quote list. That is a banger.
Granny, what big serve you have. All the better to slay you with. Wolf Granny wants whatever Red has in her basket.
Red works out it's the wolf and says, You again? To which he says, I'm onto you, little girl. And they start fighting.
Save it, Red Foo! You've been dodging me all day, but now you might as well give up. Red Foo I'm sexy and I know it In my head, Sexy and I Know It and Gangnam Style are cousins, by the way.
Amidst the kerfuffle, Granny hops out of the closet. Yes! Congratulations, Granny!
And then a horribly animated lumberjack jumps through the window, and that's our setup. This is where things get so fun. because it goes police procedural drama mode.
Chief Grizzly shows up at the house and there's reporters everywhere trying to work out if this incident is linked to the goodie bandit. My goodies. What do we got? Ah, it's a domestic disturbance. Breaking and entering, wielded an axe without a license, intent to eat.
I actually got arrested for intent to eat recently, which is why I stopped serving during the July, August period. So incompetent Chief Grizzly thinks that this case is open and shut. Red was making dodgy deliveries to Granny, the wolf tried to eat them, and then the lumberjack tried to save the day.
Take them downtown, boys. Nah, it's the woods, chief. We don't have a downtown.
That is breathtaking. This is the forest. We don't have a downtown.
Then a frog detective named Nicky Flippers turns up and tell me this is not Colin Firth. Slow down, chief. We've got four suspects and that means four stories.
Well, it's not Colin Firth. If you get people talking long enough, someone will spill the beans. Beans? Don't piss me off.
That is Colin Firth. I also like how Nicky Flippers has a pet dog. The scale mathematics here is crazy.
Is the dog miniature or is the frog huge? He's a lot bigger than Red, who's a human teenage girl. So that raises a lot of questions and dare I say concerns.
Controversial, but I- I actually really like how Nikki Flippers is animated. So Chief Grizzly thinks this little incident will help him close the Goody Bandit case, where recipes are being stolen and goody shops are being closed down all over the forest. But Nikki Flippers doesn't think this case is as open and shut as Chief Grizzly does. So everyone's got a story, let's hear Red first.
Red says that she was making deliveries for her granny's goody shop. It's a tired old tale but it still rings true Okay Anne Hathaway vocals What the hell is going on here? Why is there a man in an animal suit in this world where animals and humans coexist and talk to each other? He's also just kind of there Like he pops up again later but doesn't really add anything to the story besides being a grumpy depressed man in a furry suit selling sandwiches Yeah, sandwiches The hoodwinked wiki describes him as the obese snack shack proprietor who for some reason wears a white tiger costume. Imagine getting whacked by the hoodwinked wiki.
So Red continues riding. She rides past a depressed lumberjack and she's singing her song, which is along the lines of, oh my God, every day of my life is the same. I hate it here. I want to leave the forest.
This shit is so boring. Then a rabbit named Boingo jumps in her bike basket for a combo. Boingo says that he worked for the muffin man, but the muffin man had to close up shop because somebody stole his recipes.
Did somebody say goodie bandit? This goodie bandit has everyone closing up shop. Even this store that has longer hours on weekends and holidays compared to weekdays.
I could not believe it. Red Cole's granny like, oh my God, this goodie bandit could steal your recipes. I'm going to take your recipe book up the hill to your house for safekeeping.
But granny's kind of like, no, don't. do that that's too scary for your little child in the forest. Anyway, gotta go by.
Red's pissed. She's mad about how everything is too dangerous for her to do. The world is too dangerous for me.
Fancy! Like what? Also, this animation is so ugly.
Someone throws a rock through Granny's goodie shop window with the message, you're next. So Red grabs the recipe book and heads to Granny's house. She takes the cable car up the mountain and the cable car is run by Boingo, who once again says, watch out for the goodie bandit. Then Red falls out of the cable car and Boingo reaches for the basket, not her, and has this shady boots expression. In the forest post fall, Red runs into the wolf.
Afternoon. Hello. It's quite a bit of falling he did just now. Gravity's working. He asks her all these questions about what she's doing, what's in the basket, and even growls at her.
Oh my god, have some grace and decorum. I'd rather you didn't. She runs away and gets the birds to help her trick the wolf into falling into the river.
Right, right. So after hearing this, Chief Groosley's like, yep, open and shut case, babe. It's the wolf. A wolf stopping kids in the middle of the forest? That's pretty creepy.
And then we get a gem of comedy writing, in my opinion. We don't arrest people for being creepy. Know that guy we got in the tank?
Yeah, better let him go. Like that is- absolutely giggle material. So Red keeps going up the mountain to Granny's house and she runs into a singing goat like, hey Mr Goat, where's Granny Puckett's house?
This type of shit I feel like is very funny to kids. Like, oh my god, a singing goat that can't stop singing. And I also see the appeal there.
He says that he can't stop singing because a mountain witch put a spell on him 37 years ago. Okay cool so witches exist in the HCU, good to know. That's right.
You just talked! Did I? Did I? Did I? Did I?
Did I? Did I? Did I? Did I? Did I?
Did I? Did I? Did I? Did I? Did I?
Did I? Also Red looking at the camera here is a good example of what I was saying about the attempted stop motion effects not really working. It's just bleh.
Red calls Granny again, this time from Charlie XCX. I mean, the goat's house. And Granny's in some sort of frazzled situation.
Red asks Madonna, I mean the goat, for the quickest way up the mountain, enter stage left minecart. The minecart is kind of giving me at Movie World in Queensland in 2007. Then there's an avalanche behind them and they go off the rails and shoot off into the sky. Granny? Use the hood, Red! Use the hood, Red!
Just dumb. Red without the cape on looks crazy. Put it back on, please, I'm begging!
So Red arrives at Granny's house, sees the wolf, etc, etc. Time for the wolf's turn to be interrogated. Detective Flippers realises he's seen this wolf before. I think I've seen this wolf before! Wait a minute, Flippers!
You saying this guy's a cop? Worse. He's a reporter.
He's an investigative journalist. I can't say that. Invest-a-gib-Invest-Investigative- Journalist.
He's an investigative journalist that flippers cross paths with during the Stiltskin case. You were snooping around for a lead on his real name. That was close too.
I was gonna go with Greg. Greg Stiltskin. The wolf's name is Wolf W. Wolf by the way.
Red is Red Pucket and Granny is Granny Pucket. big implications, large implications? Are there no other grandmothers in town? Oh my god. Imagine for a second you're a grandmother and there's another grandmother in town whose government name is Granny.
That would piss me off so bad. I'm an investigative journalist. You've probably read my column, Facts and Fairytales. On this Once Upon a Time's screenshot, is it saying the cost of the paper is 16 leaves, no trees? Do they have currency?
and the HCU. I mean there's all these goodie companies that are shutting down because of the goodie bandit. So people are definitely buying things but with what?
Journalist Wolf W Wolf has been undercover researching the goodie bandit. What did you say your name was? Shaw, Rick Shaw, I'm in from Japan. There's that weirdo human guy in the suit again. He works the sandwich van which is a frightening concept because what is in the sandwich?
In this town where the humans and animals coexist and talk to each other. Wolf starts getting suspicious of Red and he and his photographer Twitchy tail her. Twitchy, you scared me.
Hey Bart, I called, I peed, I beeped on your beeper, you get my beep? Twitchy, you gotta calm down. I love Twitchy, okay? He's so over the hedge hammy and even also towards the end of the movie, which I'll point out.
Undercover, got it, mm-hmm, yeah, nobody sees, nobody knows, click, click. You ever thought about decaffeinated coffee? I don't drink coffee! Wolf W. Wolf hits up one of his sources for Intel, who says that Red takes the cable car to Granny's up the mountain.
The concept of these sheep being functioning members of society yet also cattle, it gives me pause. Several things are giving me pause here, as you can see. I'm basically quadrupedal from all these paws.
Right, right. WWW World Wide Web Wolf W Wolf follows Red up the mountain and overhears her saying Granny's recipe is true. Evil plan.
Shut down everyone in the forest. So he thinks that Red and Granny are the My goodies. So this setup is how she runs into him in the forest when she falls from the cable car. And he growls at her because Twitchy gets his tail stuck in the camera. I'd rather you didn't.
And wow what a message. It just goes to show you never know what people are going through. So Red runs off and then we get this, which is such excellent situational comedy to me. Also did you guys know that Hoodwinked was actually part of CharlieXCX's Brat rollout? So Red evades the wolf but he's sure that she and Granny are the-My goodness.
Well what do we do? We go right to the source. We gotta get to- ...grannies before the kid does. Boingo randomly shows up with intel on a shortcut to grannies, which gets them stuck in a mountain. Never trust a bunny!
They get chased out of the caves and into a minecart, which is how we get my favorite cinema moment of 2005. Hey looky looky, I found these box of candles! What kind of candles are those? Bean and meat tangs! Oh, must be Italian!
That was... Life-changing. If ten-year-olds were allowed to get tattoos, I would have gotten Tattletalat, tattooed onto my forehead. That and I have a big head and little arms from Meet the Robinsons We also see Red and Beyonce.
I mean the goat going past in the background Intersecting storylines. Oh Lost season one Don't make that face. Wolf W Wolf and Twitchy throwing the Dinamite out of the cart is how the track blows up Which sends Red into the sky. Use the hood, Red Beautiful continuity They go to Granny's, but she's not there.
Wolf W. Wolf dresses up as Granny to try and catch Felon Red. When Red arrives at the house, Wolf throws Twitchy into the closet, and Granny's already in there tied up. And isn't that just so interesting?
For a reporter, you sure have a strange way of doing your job. What can I say? I was raised by wolves.
So dumb. Time for Lumberjack. Kirk's version of events.
For some reason this character mega mega mega mega shits me. I think it's the fuck-ass movement animations coupled with the eyelashes. Like I'm literally enraged looking at him. This guy's a loon.
Watch it chief, my mama's half loon. Kirk's story is that he's an actor. His dream is to travel the world in a yodeling group.
His non-acting job is that he drives a schnitzel truck. Schnitzel, the favorite treat for little girls and boys to eat. What the hell? Schnitzel!
My schnitzel truck, it's been pilli-pilli-leached. Like, yeah, okay, sure. Schnitzel!
Do kids still get around that? Like, I ate that shit up, but would a 10 year old still find that funny now? I feel like 10 year olds now are writing slurs into Dressed To Impress that are getting turned into hashes. Schnitzel!
Shady Bunny Boingo is also there saying, oh my God, if only someone opened a giant goody shop that we could all work for and be happy. Kirk auditioned for a role in a Bunyan cream commercial which apparently is a very relevant issue in the HCU. In said audition he's supposed to be a fearless lumberjack but in reality he is in fact very fearful. So when he gets a call back from the producers after the schnitzel van takedown they suggest that he go chop some wood in the forest to get in character.
Find an axe! Start swinging. Okay. I gotta be in a circle wipe across town. I'll see you in a tent All right So he gets to chopping and finds a huge tree to chop down to find his inner woodsman Which he chops down and it rolls down the hill after him propelling him into granny's house So that's how he arrived on the scene.
He's not really doing much besides pissing me off. So one suspect left Granny. Granny's been lying.
She's got a C grad. I noticed you have three G's tattooed on the back of your neck. She is an extreme sports competitor that goes by Triple G. Okay script flips. The fearless woodsman is in fact very fearful and the grandmother is actually a fearless extreme sports competitor. This frame of granny on the phone zooming out to show what we previously assumed were knitting needles are actually skis.
At the end of the day to assume is to make an ass out of you and me. I'm not sure if this is a good idea or not. So Granny didn't want Red to visit because she was busy shredding snow on the mountain.
So what's the desert, Grezzel? You ready to floss that hill, player? Full shizzle. Bloody boingos on the mountain too and so are these shady European competitors who work for the My goodness. Shady European competitors?
Ooh, that is so pitch perfect too, Elizabeth Banks, I've got your tea. Yo Granny! The fucking animation here kills me, like the stretch by-This is when Red calls Granny from Lady Gaga-I mean, the goat's house. Oh the Matrix, you'll always be famous. So Granny races against the evil Europeans, they defeat her and she overhears that they're now going after Red.
So she throws some explosives at the mountain, triggering an avalanche and riding said avalanche down the mountain. Winning the race in the process and parachuting into the air. This is how she ends up in the sky, see see.
Use the hood, Red! When she lands in her chimney, her parachute gets stuck in the fan, which is why she's tied up when Wolf W Wolf and Twitchy get there. After finding out that old mate Granny is Triple G, Red's mad that Granny demanded that Red live this little forest life while she's been out shredding, so Red goes for an emotional walk. Hey look, it's Little Red! No, it's just some food.
She's not wearing the red hood. Let's hear some commotion for this original song that goes Oh my god, like wow. Imagine that without the crunchy flop dirty animation.
It would be Oscars, Oscars, Oscars. Also Red needs to keep that damn hood on because that hair looks crazy. Red's thinking, oh my god, everything I know about Granny is a lie.
If there are two things your Granny doesn't do, it's lie and play extreme sports. If there's two things I don't do, it's lie and recap things inappropriately unhinged. While everyone's distracted, someone sneaks into Granny's house wearing Red's hood and steals the basket containing Granny's recipes.
So who the hell is the-My ghost. Ah, the wolf did it. Talk about profiling.
Red follows this hooded individual and discovers that it's... Bitch ass boingo. Bunny is a rider?
No. Bunny is a felon? Police can't find him? He's the one that pushed Red out of the cable car.
He sent Wolf W Wolf and Twitchy in the wrong direction. He was there when the schnitzel van got schnitzeled. He had Granny sign the back of his evil plan checklist.
I knew it. Never trust a bunny. Never trust a bunny!
The police head down the mountain to catch Boingo, but the gang realises that Boingo and Red would be heading up the mountain. Someone needs to rush after the police and tell them they're going the wrong way. And that, ladies, is when they give Twitchy coffee.
The hammy over the hedge of it all, which actually came out six months after Hoodwinked. Oh my god. A conspiracy theory.
Up at the abandoned cable car station, Evil Boingo is having a breakdown. I'm done dancing for the man. This fuck ass character bro. I'm never gonna answer to anyone ever again. Like he's just feral and has feral animation.
In some ways it's refreshing that he's so ugly. Red tries to Red Fu him. but he's a superstar ear foo fighter.
You best be fearing the ear, baby. Dolph, tie up the brat. Atlantic planted this brat promo in 2005 so that in 2024, we'd be like, I really liked the abandoned cable car station scenes of Boingo, A, because he's crazy. Like look at this Keith bit. And Keith, darn it, change your name, please.
That's not scary. Watch out for Keith. And B, because it somehow gives me Charlie's Angels 2000 vibes. Maybe it's the undercover villain of it all, CC Sam Rockwell.
How great is this Lady Gaga Jazz and Piano Vegas residency type performance? You've been hoodwinked, baby. Just excellent feral.
weirdness. No notes. So Boingo's the one that stole all the recipes, is setting up his own company, Boingo Snacks, and is going to literally blow up everything to build his HQ and zoo and airport and casino. The airport aspect is definitely interesting and it gives me a pull.
Is that just for humans or also for animals? Since as we've seen, the animals can have jobs, this poses an interesting thought experiment where a being that can fly on its own can also choose to fly in a vehicle that flies. being flown by a being that can fly, the plane and themselves.
Boingo puts Red in a cable car full of dynamite and Granny, Wolf W. Wolf and Kirk turn up to save her by staging a faux evil lair safety inspection. I do enjoy how hardly anything is consistent in this movie stylistically such as this random slow motion clip that eats. There you little bunny. So yeah, Granny goes triple G mode and ends up saving Red and all the bad guys get arrested.
Yay! Then there's this Avengers post-credit-esque ending where they're all just chatting shit. I'm about to crack a story about the three pigs running a home improvement scam. House is falling left and right. And then Nikki Flippers turns up to offer them jobs as secret agents for the happily ever after agency.
Like, girl, yeah, sure, whatever. My five-word review of this movie is... great story with bad animation. Yes, sometimes the bad animation adds to the physical comedy, but otherwise it's just so blech.
And the story is so fun and funny. Like what the hell? Why are we doing a police procedural drama version of Little Red Riding Hood? That is so funny.
I will say my main takeaway slash message from this movie is never trust a bunny. Also so many lessons for small businesses in this movie. And you know what?
I think I could help Granny Puckett elevate her business. Let's put these goodies online, Triple G. This video is sponsored by Squarespace. Squarespace gives people a powerful and stylish online platform from which you can build your own website. Granny Puckett could elevate her business with Squarespace, it's true. I mean, check out these features.
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I leave you with two things number one never trust a bunny number two Use the hood red