Pac-Man just gives me this feeling of giddiness like there's all these tingles running up and down my nipples You're watching the learning channel Hello fellow learning nerds good to see you welcome to class kids in class today We have a girl who is addicted to being a Ninja Turtle this lesson today was suggested by your fellow student Toasted shoes self-proclaimed my biggest fan so he says honestly I find his obsession with me kind of creepy it goes too far You know, a student should never love a teacher like that. Uh, yeah, it's really weird. Uh, be on the lookout for this man. If he gets close to you, run away. That's my first lesson today.
Run away from Toaster Chews. 26-year-old Michelle Ivy is convinced she's a Ninja Turtle. Croak!
Gah! Damn, so real. So realistic.
Ah! For the last 14 years, 26-year-old Michelle Ivy... Has dedicated her life to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
She's got some moves. I regret laughing. Don't hurt me.
But when I make these things, there's so much stuff I always want to say, but I just have to hold myself back. It's like being the Hulk and not going full Hulk mode. I'm here ready to insult, but I just have to hold it down.
Has dedicated her life to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. Michelangelo's my favorite turtle because he reminds me. Bitch what? Leonardo is clearly the superior turtle.
What kind of shit are you on? I've lost all respect for you. It's outrageous!
Hold your powers down, ladies and be-Hold them down. These here are my heads. Yes, this is not my head.
These are my heads. She's got a Leonardo though. Alright, my respect's slowly growing, lady. This is not my head. These are my heads.
This right here is my new pride and joy, Michelangelo from Turtles 3. Turtles 3? Is there a way to like delete videos from existence? This should never be seen. Turtles 3?
So any scene where you see Michelangelo like when he goes, Wait, really? I'm just a beautiful princess in disguise. Ah, sword. Break the spell. Give me a kiss.
Then it's actually this head saying it. Wow, that's the actual head? She went to the effort of getting a full-on movie prop and she has the goddamn movie memorized?
I can see dedicating your life to being a ninja tur-but Turtles 3?! You could have gone to school Michelle. You could have been a duck! Because Michelle works at a factory for a minimum wage, she takes out bank loans to feed her Ninja Turtle obsession.
This hat cost me $2,000. I paid $1,800 for Leonardo. Michelle's going high-risk. She's willing to put herself in the debt in order to say, I have the head of Leonardo.
I have been downright told by several people, just drop the turtles and get a real life. Yet, I have a life. I respect that attitude.
You've got to own what you like to own in life. Once you become an adult, no one else's opinion matters. As long as you're not hurting anyone. I hope she's not actually going around beating people up as a ninja turtle.
She's a b****. beating up old ladies you're not hurting anyone so you don't give a shit what anyone else says one bacon pizza yes she's got the pizza down she's authentic to the pizza yeah michelle lives on a strict ninja turtle diet that means pizza every day michelle also died at the ripe old age of 35 from heart disease okay i am making us a healthy pizza she put she put in mayonnaise on pizza you Thy Jesus, I thyeth need you. Smite her! Smite her!
I said, you can live whatever life you want as long as you're not hurting anyone. That right there is a war crime. But it didn't stop at the costume for Michelle.
She even spent $5,000 on karate lessons, becoming a blue belt so she could fight like a ninja turtle. Not even a black belt? Maybe try harder.
Maybe actually spend some more time in the gym. Instead of that war crime that's mayonnaise on pizza. When the turtles entered my life, they taught me to be self-aware.
They taught me to never hide behind any wall of who you really are. That is exactly right. I show you these videos because it's some crazy shit. She's absolutely insane. But I don't show you these to belittle people.
She's living her best life. She's not hurting anyone. She's not that lady that's sniffing diapers from other people's kids. That's weird. We're gonna see lots of weird people today.
But I want to remind you, just be who you want to be. It is home to a couple... Who have been raising a cabbage patch doll as their own son for the past 19 years. I take back everything I said about insulting people.
I'm going in. All right, buckle up, guys. About to be a wild ride.
Insult Hulk is released. We adopted Kevin in 1985. This is my favorite little kid, Kevin. He's easygoing.
Quiet. Behaved. Well-behaved.
Well-behaved. I don't know, maybe because he's a fucking doll. Can't see him like causing much mischief, eh? Can't see him punching a wall.
Can't see him stabbing someone. He's a fucking doll. You say he's quiet, yeah, can't see him breaking out into song and bloody dance. He's not gonna break out into friggin'Macarena, is he?
Okay, Kevin. SpongeBob. Tonight.
Have you seen this? I don't know if I have yet, I gotta watch it for a little bit to see. Oh my god, he speaks for him. Oh my f-Oh my god.
What the fu-Hi! How you doing? He makes friends very easily.
He's very easy to get to know. Kevin. My name's Kevin.
Dude, mate, they're bloody crazy. Run. They may eat you.
I don't know. Like, I haven't got to that part of the video yet. They could very well eat people.
We don't know that yet. You need to run. And this kid has it all. A custom vet just like his dad's.
His own 1,000 square foot playhouse. A college fund. Oh, yeah. And a real life sister.
You're telling me these crazy sons of bitches have a real kid? Yeah, that's the face of, like, my childhood was not good. I didn't appreciate, you know, this kid coming along and, you know, taking my stuff. Well, she had her own room that she went to, but there could have been some jealousy, maybe.
No shit, you were giving her stuff to a freaking doll. Like, I feel so bad for the daughter. You know, I kind of wished a little bit of harm on Kevin.
You know, I thought, hmm, I wonder if I stuck needles in him, like, would he really feel it? I mean, I'm not gonna lie, girl, you could have got some gasoline, poured it over Kevin. set it on fire kids will be kids you think it's time to go to bed take a snooze come on kevin it's been a long day i'm ready see you in the morning bud have a nice sleep these people are fucking insane imagine that childhood a doll gets more love than you i need to get a closer look yeah they're they're fucking crazy meet tim christ a man obsessed with pac-man hold it down lacey boom After all this time, he's still there, he's still yellow, he's still perfectly round, he's still eating things. I feel as if his glowing light is always protecting me and guiding me and making all my enemies blue and edible.
Pac-Man just gives me this feeling of giddiness, like there's all these tingles running up and down my nipples. And it... This shit just goes... Pac-Man just... it tingles my nipples, man.
Oh, Pac-Man. Oh, Pac-Man. Just this wonderful thing, like, hey, look!
It's Pac-Man! Definitely check this man's house for bodies. I figured it out. This guy is the Zodiac Killer. It was this guy.
He's so authentic to Pac-Man, he may literally be eating people. It's like he has a bond with-He has a goddamn wife. What the fuck? What the hell am I doing wrong? What am I doing wrong?
Pac-Man! Pac-Man! I get kind of an oddball little Pac-Man feeling when I get the impression that he may be nearby. And there he'll be, you know, his golden yellow light just-OOF!
Now he's publicly humping the machine. Don't insult him. Bullying is wrong.
He must be a good master for your students. Honestly though, to be fair, Pac-Man's pretty hot. All before Pac-Man, feel his glory! Hear the glory of Pac-Man! See Pac-Man!
No! Pac-Man! I think these people are gonna look back on their lives.
They're gonna be lying there desperate thinking my god I have squandered my life think of all the times. I played things that weren't pac-man. That's what I'm doing wrong guys That's why I'm single man like this I'd pack man. Will you ever forgive me the glorious yellow one? I'll even rub my nipples for you man I think that's our class for today guys Your homework is to accept the Lord and Savior of the great yellow one the pac-man into your life That's what we learned from this lesson.
We need everyone needs needs Pac-Man in their life. I'll see all you fellas later, and as always, praise be to the yellow one.