Lecture Notes: Healing After Betrayal Trauma with Polyvagal Theory

Presenter

• Name: Kristen Snowden
• Profession: Licensed Therapist in California
• Focus: Relationship crisis, trauma recovery, healing practices

Overview

• Purpose: To discuss healing after betrayal trauma using the Polyvagal Theory
• Themes: Understanding trauma's impact on the nervous system, regaining control and agency, practical tools for healing

Betrayal Trauma

• Definition: Trauma from betrayal by a trusted loved one (infidelity, addiction, financial lies, etc.)
• Impact:
  • Traumatic imprint on the body and mind
  • Emotional and physical distress
  • Loss of trust and sense of safety
• Symptoms: Hypervigilance, flashbacks, emotional rollercoaster, hopelessness, lack of control

Polyvagal Theory

• Creator: Dr. Stephen Porges
• Concept: Understanding autonomic nervous system's role in stress/trauma
• Key Ideas:
  • Neuroplasticity: Ability to change and rewire the brain
  • Hierarchy of Nervous System States:
    • Ventral Vagal: Engagement, social connection, safety
    • Sympathetic: Fight or flight, heightened arousal
    • Dorsal Vagal: Shutdown, immobilization, withdrawal

Healing Process

• Goal: Return choice, control, and agency to trauma survivors
• Strategies:
  • Identify Nervous System States: Recognize physical and emotional states in different phases
  • Self-Care Practices: Develop a list of activities that upregulate or downregulate your states
  • Breathing Techniques: Use breath to regulate emotional states
  • Social Engagement: Connect with others who understand; join support groups
  • Mind-Body Connection: Practices like yoga, Tai Chi, dance, mindfulness
  • Therapeutic Support: Engage with trauma-informed therapy (e.g., EMDR, somatic experiencing)

Practical Tips

• Create Safe Environments: Reduce noise, find calm spaces
• Develop Rituals: Structure daily activities for stability
• Use Sensory Tools: Engage with sights, sounds, and tactile experiences
• Practice Mindfulness: Stay present, aware, and connected to your emotions and thoughts

Additional Resources

• Contact: Kristen Snowden
  • Email: [email protected]
  • Website: kristinsnowden.com
  • Instagram/YouTube: Connect for more resources and videos

Conclusion

• Emphasize the importance of support groups and social connection for healing
• Encourage the utilization of personalized self-care strategies
• Acknowledge the complexity of trauma but affirm the possibility of recovery and return of agency

Note

• Groups and Therapy: Availability of co-ed betrayed partners groups and individual therapy options