Lecture on Cohabitation Before Marriage

Key Arguments Against Cohabitation Before Marriage

• Higher Divorce Rates:

  • Statistics show couples who live together before marriage have higher divorce rates.
  • Cohabitation doesn’t seem to help in learning to decide on a suitable partner or improve marriage dynamics.

• Association with Multiple Sexual Partners:

  • More pre-marital sexual partners correlate with higher divorce rates.
  • Early promiscuity is linked to antisocial behavior, suggesting exploitation tendencies that could undermine marriages.

Psychological and Philosophical Considerations

• Commitment and Stability:

  • Women cohabiting often feel insecure about the lack of movement towards marriage.
  • Men often minimize the need for marriage, labeling it as just a "piece of paper," which undermines its significance.
  • Marriage requires a vow before a community, adding social and personal pressure to honor commitments.

• The Role of Faith in Marriage:

  • Faith is essential for moving into unknowns, such as marriage.
  • Commitment to marriage involves faith despite lacking evidence about long-term compatibility.

Social and Emotional Implications

• Ambiguity in Cohabitation:

  • Living together often implies a lack of permanent commitment, leading to uncertainty in plans, including children.
  • This uncertainty can decrease hope and increase anxiety in relationships.

• Heat and Pressure in Marriage:

  • Carl Jung's concept of marriage as a "container for transformation" indicates that commitment involves enduring pressure and challenges to facilitate personal growth.

Practical Concerns

• Lack of Real Commitment in Cohabitation:
  • Cohabitation can't simulate marriage as it lacks the essential commitment.
  • Marriage requires facing challenges with a partner, which cohabitation might avoid due to the option to leave easily.

Final Thoughts

• Necessity of Commitment:
  • Commitment isn't just about evidence but is crucial for deep relationships.
  • A lack of commitment might lead to aimlessness and lack of direction.
  • True relationship growth requires faith and dedication, which cohabitation without marriage doesn't sufficiently provide.

The speaker concludes that the casual approach to relationships, seeking temporary arrangements or upgrades, is ultimately delusional and potentially harmful.