Marriage Without Flirting: It's possible to get married without flirting. Flirting is not a necessity before marriage.
Importance of Communication: Talking is crucial before marriage, but it should be meaningful and purposeful, focusing on important topics rather than trivial chit-chat.
Topics of Conversation Before Marriage
Important Questions:
Deen (religion) and character
Likes and dislikes
Priorities and vision for family
Career aspirations
Character Alignment: It's essential to ensure mutual character compatibility.
Flirting vs. Talking
Connotations of Flirting: Flirting can have many meanings. It is important to maintain boundaries and not transgress Islamic guidelines.
Risks of Premature Romance: Romantic involvement before marriage can cloud judgment and obscure flaws.
Islamic Guidelines on Pre-Marriage Interaction
Talking in Islam: Encouraged to talk before marriage but within Islamic boundaries.
Avoiding Khalwa: The Prophet ﷺ prohibited being alone together to prevent improper interactions.
Serious Intentions: If a person is serious about marriage, they should approach the woman’s wali (guardian).
Boundaries and Intentions
Setting Boundaries: Both men and women should have clear boundaries to prevent unnecessary emotional involvement.
Seriousness in Intentions: Ensure that the person is serious about marriage and not just enjoying casual conversation.
Process of Getting to Know Each Other
Islamic Flexibility: There's no fixed number of times to talk as long as Islamic boundaries are respected.
Gathering Information: It's important to ask others about the person of interest to gain different perspectives.
Trust and Risk in Marriage
Inherent Risk: Marriage involves risk as individuals can misrepresent themselves.
Trust in Allah: Rely on Allah, intend to please Him, and pray istikhara when seeking a spouse.
Conclusion
Dua for a Righteous Spouse: Pray for righteous and good spouses, trusting in divine guidance.