Coming back to Saturday Night Live after I had my daughter was transformative because I didn't, I gave no more fucks. I gave a baby. I will get you pregnant. Get me pregnant, please! But that's why I was saying, oh honey, I'll get you pregnant. Oh, hello there. Welcome to Offscript with The Hollywood Reporter. I'm your host, Yvonne Orji, and we are here at the gorgeous Georgian Hotel in Santa Monica, California. As an actress and comedian, I am especially looking forward to today's amazing panel of six versatile and talented comedic actresses, some of whom I am fortunate enough to call friends. That's right, guys. They have and are continuing to pave the way for women in comedy. You're about to hear from the amazing, the illustrious Quinta Brunson of Abbott Elementary. Michelle Batu of Survival of the Thickest, Renee Elise Goldsberry of Girls 5 Ever, Edgar Woldum of Saturday Night Live, Maya Rudolph of Loot, and Kristen Wiig of Palme Royale. They are, as always, on the record, but just a little off script with The Hollywood Reporter. Hey, Lacey, they're all yours. Thanks, Yvonne. Welcome to the Comedy Actress Roundtable. Let's get started. We're going to start with a question for everybody. What is the funniest or strangest feedback you've heard or read about yourself? The first thing I can think of is I won an award for being the number one vegetarian. I think I was eating a pork rib when I read it. It's written up as a... Me too. I think people are just very surprised that they laughed. Yeah. Yeah, surprisingly. Funny. Surprisingly witty. Surprise! Surprise! Isn't that a delight? Yeah. I'm surprised you're surprised. I think mine is too short for comfort. I think that's really funny. So it sticks out. It was someone saying that they did enjoy my work, but part of what made them enjoy it was that I was too short for comfort. And I thought... that was funny. I started doing podcasts before I was on SNL, like comedy podcasts. And so people would come and find me on Instagram. And I remember one comment being like, I'm pissed off you look like this. And I'm like, okay. What did they want you to look like? I didn't follow up. You got it. I think the first time I ever, when I started SNL and I learned my lesson, I do not read. I don't look. I don't. oh yeah when I first got on the show you have that moment where you're like and it was like comment comment comment and one of them just said she's ugly and I was like I mean it was it's okay it was before social media so they were like I don't even know sentences and then she's ugly period and I was like mindset chipmunk feeps ah Yeah, so we're starting off on our new album. I mean, that's good, right? That's why I'm seeing a lot of people. People are feeling their faces. Yeah, it's sexy. The crazy thing is that you can't go searching for the positive. I don't read the positive things because I don't want to get sucked into that reality. It makes you read nothing. It just makes you watch. people will tell you what the positive things are your family your grandma your mom this you've got this and they said this and they said this this crazy thing is when it's silent then you know that there are not positive things that's right then you go and look yeah it's not good yeah okay so what is the most transformative role sketch moment of your careers Starting off real light. Yeah. I mean, I actually did think of it because I just cheered with Ego when I got to do that sketch with you. Because I felt like it was a moment where. people who maybe didn't know me before Abbott, they, like, realized that I could do comedy. You know, you guys know comedy's a spectrum. But beyond Janine and beyond what I'd done before, getting to do that sketch with you in the car... The traffic altercation. The traffic. My goodness, we were just talking about that at work. Yeah. Like, amazing it was to see you come up with your own gestures for that. They didn't give you much direction for that, and that was so fun. I got to pop in and do truly one thing in that sketch, but it was... So fun. It was so fun. It was so incredible. Yeah, and that felt transformative. So I would say that one for me. yeah yeah I feel like I would guess it was maybe Hamilton honestly every time I get a job whatever job it is it's always like and the funny thing is whatever you do people are like, I can't believe you. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You were funny. Yeah. And now it's like, is she a serious? Because I just think she's funny. It's just whatever you do is what you do in people's minds. It always feels transformative to get to do anything. So when it works, it feels transformative. I think for me, it was probably booking my first series regular. On First Wives Club, on BET Plus, now Netflix. You know, I knew I could do the funny, but what was really fun and important for me is that I had sex scenes. And as a size 18-20, we don't get to be sexy. We get to be lucky that someone finds us attractive. I own my sexuality, and I'm like, this is important, and we can make it funny, but it's mainly important, so let's go and get it. And so it was... It's so amazing working with intimacy coordinators and directors who understood how I would be my most comfortable and then sexy. And that really kind of changed how people cast me and how I saw myself, quite frankly. And I'm like, let's go. Big bitches are beautiful and worthy of love. Let's get dick down. I had intimacy coordinators on that. I felt like that was before the huge push for them. So that's really nice to hear. Yeah. I mean, that's the great thing about working on an all-female-led show. Yeah. You know, where the showrunner is female. And you can go to your showrunner or your director who's also female and say, you know, Mother Nature might be calling next week. This thing is on the schedule for next week. And it's for kids. Yeah, there's so many things. Things happen in that situation. you know it's important and that's and that's why hiring us matters oh it's my turn i mean i i think this will count it was transformative in a personal way for me i did a dance for seo during the grammys like years ago yeah amazing I was releasing a relationship that was sort of like the subtext that I had. And I didn't think I could do it. I was terrified to do it. And I wasn't wearing a lot of clothes. And I felt super vulnerable. And then after it was over, I just like, I released this thing. And it was very transformative. Something shifted after that. in yourself which I think is even cooler yeah for everybody else yeah and we all know like being afraid to do something you have that moment before like why am I doing this it's not home and then you do it and then you're like oh that's why we keep yes back a little bit yeah yeah I just have to keep walking yep yeah Makes me want to change my answer. I know. Yeah, because I remember sometimes it's not about the big job that everyone knows about. I was in like a small fashion show across the street from the soap opera I was on many years ago. And nobody was in the room that knew me, which is probably why I felt so free. And I remember looking around and realizing that the more myself I was, the more I didn't care, just the funnier I was. I just kind of had a connection to power that was always inside of me for the first time. and that's what I'm saying you know what I'm saying nobody gave me any more no it didn't matter but it was the same thing I just remember being like oh yeah yeah this is where it is yeah thank you first I was gonna say SNL I'm like duh and then I was gonna say post SNL But then I was going to say bridesmaids, but then I was going to go back to like... Say them all. Different, right? Like transformation is different. Like for me, coming back to Saturday Night Live after I had my daughter was transformative because I didn't. I gave no more fucks. That was different for me because I cared so much and I was putting so many things in front of me that were not serving me and so I was wasting a lot of time worrying about what other people thought and doing the right thing and being a good girl and being a good student and being a good daughter and working hard at SNL and writing my sketches and well and then I was like, ah. this is all fluffy, light, nice thing. And it took that for me. That's not like the road for everybody, but that's what got me there, you know? And I had to be shaken out of the grip I had on. You think the shaking was the fact that you were another person? I had to stop being selfish. I had to have a baby. I will get you pregnant get me pregnant please but that's why I was saying oh honey I'll get you pregnant just think dad but that's the thing like it's that's not what I mean for everyone because we all know that the road to motherhood is not for every woman and it's also not easy for every woman and sometimes not possible for everyone or not destiny so it's not to say like the universal like get kids like it's not like that's what shook it out of me but bridesmaids was also transformative not just because people saw it and received it well it was transformative because it was the first time I got to enjoy making a movie that was funny and have fun with people that I thought were funny. I felt like that was the first time we got to do that. I didn't have experiences like that before. We would have fun and play at SNL, but it's rare to get to work and look at each other and say, this is really funny. We're having fun or laugh with each other. That was transformative too. Yeah, it was the Brooklyn Bowl. I saw your group. Oh, Princess. That was transformative for me. because I'm like, you don't have to do straight up stand up. You could do whatever you want and live your truth on stage. And so you love what you do so much that it affected me. And I was like, yeah, I can think outside the box. I had such a similar experience watching Amy and Tina's show in Vegas because they were just up there fucking around. And I loved every minute of it. And they brought out Rachel Dreyfuss. It was my Super Bowl. you know I'm like a bunch of other comedy girl nerds I'm drunk I'm like but it was so inspiring that yeah okay we don't have to be like in the in the trenches forever like they just represented a sort of freedom to me that I hope to obtain yeah someday because right now I'm in the shackles of the straight to shackles but but you're talking about being deep in it and I think that that was one of the things that I was thinking about in terms of transformative is that experience time appreciation of what you do which is what life gives you when you do something for a long time will give you that yeah so that is coming because you are working hard yeah and that's like when you're in the middle of it it feels like it's going to be like this forever and being able to enjoy it appreciate it and exactly what you picked up on with amy and tina's show is like watch people having fun and appreciating what they've got and each other like watch people enjoy each other yeah the best and that's coming what beautiful answers i'm like i have no because i don't have a baby I kind of regret bringing that up. It's not universal. I know. And I feel like you are being like, hey, I want to be clear that it's not necessarily a path for every woman. And I'm not saying that that's the thing that's going to transform a woman's experience. I feel like you're so clear on that. I just want kids. But, I mean, like so much of what you said, and we kind of had a conversation. I remember. Had a conversation in December. I mean, your voice has been in my head for weeks now. because I've been just thinking about you going, when I stopped giving a fuck, it's like when it started to feel great and truly just felt like play. SNL, the schedule is so intense. Grind. And we are in such a grind that when we have weeks off, such as this one, I like pop out. and I'm like, what did I just do? What did I just do? It truly is another world, and I'm like, what just happened to me, and how do I regain my personhood? And so everything you said was so meaningful to me then, it's meaningful to me now. The thing that felt so transformative for me is an SNL sketch. Ironically, getting to do Lisa from Temecula the first time was so fucking fun. So much fun and people who know me in my personal life or people who have listened to me be insane on podcasts are like, that's the most her thing I've seen on the show. And I go, five years. And then, you know, some people go, you should write more things like that. And I go, baby, if you knew how the process. it don't work that way that week was sort of like I'm at my wits end fuck it um I'm gonna I got seven hours of sleep on a writing night which I don't think I had ever done and I felt like oh this is bad but I was like I've done everything I'm I'm gonna I work really hard I'm really diligent and Lauren's always telling me audience doesn't care who works the hardest and I go you And I kind of surrendered to the process. I did not write on that sketch. And that's like one of the first things that was a real moment for me at the show that I didn't even write on. And then the night of, we didn't think the sketch was going to go because it was bumpy at rehearsal. And when Tom Broker, who's our wardrobe guy, came by and was like announcing in the hallway like, we're doing Lisa, get dressed for Lisa. And I kind of was like, really? OK. It's the last sketch of the night, whatever. And I was getting to improvise because the chair wasn't supposed to fall. I was like, I'm getting to be, I'm getting to do the thing that I do. I'm so passionate about improv. So I was like, this was so fun and liberating. And I could not have planned for it. I could not have worked for it. I just had to play. Yeah. To me. Yeah. Sometimes I get in my way all the time. So it's, in your case, it sounds like. you know, forcing yourself out of those patterns is obviously what was transformative. And sometimes the most transformative periods are the most painful or, you know, coming out of the hardest things. So I get that. Yeah. Michelle, I have heard you say that you're grateful to Netflix for, and I'm going to quote you here because it's too fun. No, no, no. Believing in a bitch because I've been tap dancing for multiple networks for a good while and my knees are tired. Accurate. I didn't know you could tap dance to the patriarchy. I've been tap dancing for the patriarchy for a good while and my knees are tired but fish oil helps. Noted. What do you think the sort of pivot was about where all of a sudden it was, yes, we accept you and your ideas and this vision. Auditioning for multiple networks. that have different types of comedy. Chasing that for a good decade felt like I was also chasing the wrong person to be with. And I was constantly trying to be whatever they needed and then I'd like do one for me at the end and that's how I always got a call back but the job would always go to somebody who was well known or had more followers because everything's an algorithm or whatever it was and so I was always the bridesmaid lol for so long and I couldn't understand why because I was doing everything I was supposed to do. I did everything I, you know, I practiced and, you know, I'm a fun person on set. You know, I like food trucks. I'm dynamic. I'm charming. I want to know your inner child. And something really shifted when I realized I wanted to have kids and how hard that was. And I started doing IVF and then I was traveling myself in a middle seat for a chemistry test and then I have to get a note from the doctors to bring these needles for the IVF to put them through security and then I'd have to go put like progesterone suppositories up my coochie wash my hands go shake the casting director's face hope it's not coming out my pants how's everyone doing oh this is great do one for you did it started crying at the end it doesn't say you're supposed to cry I know it's a choice Because I was so outside of my body trying to really make something else work in my life that was so hard and I was going through so much and I wasn't allowed to say anything. So still supposed to be happy clown. That's kind of when I started. booking when I stopped really giving a fuck because I didn't have the bandwidth to. Yeah. Like I literally had to leave and go cry and then like figure out like a good waterproof mascara because she was a mess. She was a mess. But the great thing working with Netflix is that there's so many different divisions and I love to host. You know, I used to I have a news background because my college professor told me I was too fat to be on camera when I told him I want to be a journalist. cute yeah or he might be dead and so I did production instead and so I loved hosting and I you know I love acting and I love stand-up and so I just have a license to do me but I really didn't even understand that I had license to me I thought I was doing me but my body and the universe was like no bitch you know have several seats and so you know after you know five years of IVF and and some losses you know we welcome twins via surrogacy Yeah, and that made me just so like... When I say thankful, I mean like, I am thankful to be in traffic with these kids. I am thankful like for every single moment. Like it feels like nobody can yuck my yum. You know what I mean? And when people are going through some shit, especially like on set, I'm like, please go take 10 minutes, take 20 minutes, gather yourself. I understand you want a drink. I got some Chauvel's Day. I've heard you tell a story where you go home, you go to church, and there is a reverend who lists off all of your credentials and then introduces you. Yes. And you are flabbergasted. Yes. Why? So it's 2005. I was starring in a soap opera and I was in a show, The Color Purple. Heard of it. And the first one. So I went home to visit my dad and we were at church and then the reverend started saying, we have a guest in the house. Oh, thanks. Today. And then he started, you know, going on this list of this great, wonderful. And she did this and she did that. And I'm looking around like, who is in the house? Like, I'm so excited. And at the very end, he says, Ron Goldsberry's daughter, Renee Goldsberry. And I'm shocked. because I mean, he literally said everything I was doing, but I didn't recognize myself because the year I had, I had had two very painful miscarriages. One was in the second trimester. It was terribly emotionally pain. I mean, like it was just so much that had gone on in that year. And so I stood up and I was like, thank you. You know, and I sat down, but what I realized is that people don't do anyone a service in this world. By reading these bios that are not representative of who we are. To tell, you know, Renee Lisco, she's a Tony winner. Like this is how they say these things to introduce you. But it really isn't who you are. And quite honestly, it's not the most valuable part of who you are. No, that's what they want you to be. What's most valuable about me are the things that I serve. I'm super excited to hear, oh, you guys might want to have kids. I got stories. She got stories. I'm pretty sure you can figure out how to win a Tony. Yeah. But what you might not know is how you keep going when you are trying to do two things at the same time. You have this many years, you think, to make it in your career, and you have this many minutes to have a baby. How am I going to do this? We've got answers. Yeah. Maybe not answers, but we've got experience. And so I just felt so strongly we have to do a better job of telling the world who we are. I'm so grateful for opportunities like that because I sit down at a table like this and I'm looking, I'm like, I finally get to sit with these powerful and they're like, they're like my heroes, right? and why am I here? Like, no one wants to hear about the imposter syndrome, but I tell myself when I walk out here, can I please find something to say that really is representative of what matters? Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, nothing else matters but finding ways to connect to each other that, like, just helps along the journey. I hear myself saying back to my kids sometimes, you have to tell people. who you are. You mentioned it earlier in terms of work about whether, you know, sometimes you're showing your dramatic side and people think, oh, that's who you are now. Or, oh, I didn't know you could be that. You didn't know I could be a human being that had more than one feeling. Because people want you to be who they want you to be. So they know you, like that one thing. And usually that thing they introduce you with is like kind of the first thing you did. And I knew in my experience of being an other forever from the beginning, I had to tell people who I was. I had to figure out who I was. I got to keep figuring it out. And I was going to say that and I still figure it out. But. for right now, for today, I have to let people know. Yeah. Because people love to make assumptions. And, you know, we want to preserve our humanity. And when people make those assumptions, it strips your humanity from you, which also takes away your ability to be an artist, which is ultimately why I think all of us are here. This is an art form, a craft, something that we wake up and, you know, you just do and you can't not do it. I've known who I am for a very long time. So it got interesting to be thrust into a spotlight and then people telling me who I am. And I'm like, you actually like. I don't know. Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for your love. But like, I might do some different shit tomorrow. Right. and you might not like it and that's okay too but i do need you uh to show up and watch avid elementary i still are doing that do you know and i like that that makes me feel like i'm doing a good job but i think it strips the humanity especially of women just because we are supposed to be so many someone i think donald glover recently described as like It's high school to people, and it's like, you're the this girl, you're the that girl, you're the that girl, and that's how they see you in their heads. If you get outside of that box, they almost get violent. What are you doing? What are you doing? That's not, well, this is part of who I am. Who I am? Don't forget, being on television, we live in people's bedrooms. Yes. They watch us from bed and toilet. On their phone, on the television. On their phone. really good conversation in that car because i was going through a tough personal time and quinta you were like how are you and then you were like You know, people don't realize you're going to go live tonight in a few hours, but you have to deal with that and then show up and be this. Yeah. And speaking to, you know, people putting you in a box or deciding what your bio is, is it can be so frustrating. You feel so fortunate to be able to do what you do and to be on TV and perform what you're passionate about. But I'm like, I want you to know my humanity, too. Yeah, I am. But a human walking on this planet who's this kooky thing. Right. Just straddle it. What you people have done is insanity. Like when I was little, I wanted to be on SNL and then I. hosted us and I was like I'm so saved man you guys you have to show up every week on Saturday doesn't matter if you're having a bad day yeah it doesn't matter if you know what I mean doesn't matter if you had a miscarriage yeah that's what no one cares you better sketch yeah say the thing get that that on laugh but to your point I have to do a college show like in February when we were on hiatus and it was stand up for an hour and my favorite part at the end I got to ask this I asked the students I'm like anyone have any questions for me and one girl put her hand up and was like how do you get over a breakup and I'm so deep that was this is gonna stick with me forever I got to do my hee hee ha ha's which I love and I was like oh yeah a human moment yeah yeah to hug you and I did ask for permission I hugged her and I told her I was like I now know I can't give you my advice yeah yeah my hell I can have some value yeah I'm like, I can help. And that was so meaningful to me. And I'm like, I want to be able to connect with people in that way. And I love making people laugh, but I love the conversations we've had. I love the conversation. You know, that's what makes me feel most alive. If you go back and forth, though, because sometimes I'm like, actually, nobody talked to me. I actually don't know anything about me. just like flip yeah between like check your peas yeah you know instagram on the toilet i'm sorry i wonder why i'm multitasking and um somebody asked gabrielle union about her skincare routine and she was like cut all the people out of your life that you don't need and drink water i'm double tapping that and i'm talking about it because that's also really good. I used to do that. I used to like want to fix it and help. I'm like, for who? So I'm a good person. Like this is, I know I'm a good person. Yeah. Move on. And um, no, your boundaries. Yes. Yeah. Boundaries aren't easy to set. It depends on who you are, but they're not always easy. People won't respond well to them. That's probably like when you, even if you feel like you can set a boundary, it's like, Oh, what's the reaction to the boundary going to be? I feel confident enough to see who they are. Right. Yeah. Kristen and Maya, you have both been in the position that that Ago is in right now. I'm curious of what the advice you would give about a how to navigate a place like Saturday Night Live, but also how to navigate what comes after SNL and knowing when it is time to move on from a place like that. That's a good question. You can navigate it. That's how you navigate it. Like, I don't everybody's not a plate like I. I got the sense of the place when I got there and I felt uncomfortable and I was like, oh, that's the show. And I was like, oh, the moment I feel like I belong here is when I got to go. A sense of like, you have to just embrace that like. you're not going to figure it out. And I don't know if that's helpful. It helped me because it felt like there was a math problem I wasn't getting. I love math. And there's, and there it's, you just have to, it's, it's so personalized. Everyone there. has a completely different experience. Because you also have such an expectation. It's something that's a part of your life that you've been watching. And then you get there and you think it's going to be something. An expectation usually leads to disappointment. So there's that. But then I remember hearing you say that, that you knew when it was time to go, when you were comfortable. I didn't know. I think I thought, oh, this is going to be the end for me. I'm going to be there forever. And then... I didn't know how to navigate getting out, but at the same time, what it's given me, I mean, I'm happy to talk about SNL and I don't work there anymore, but it's given me a foundation that has, that. has been transforming me. Yeah, I'm not saying that. But like, evolve, we're evolving. Yeah, before we say the word. But it has given me skills that I use all the time. I problem solve in a different way. I mean, collaboration, it's like. you learn how to work with people more than like when people say we can't do that i know we can't yeah yeah and they say we only have this amount of time you're like i can go from this costume to that in 45 seconds you tell me we have three minutes that's a long time it's a skill set you are learning comedy combat yeah and you have a skill set now that you cannot teach it has to be learned and you can take it with you anywhere I live for the grind and the discomfort of it all. But then, of course, you want to be pissed about it sometimes. Like, it's uncomfortable. But when you speak about expectations going in, going in as the seventh black woman on the cast, it was this whole, what's that experience going to be like? And I was like, I have relatively low expectations. I was just like, I don't know that it's going to be great. And then moments where it feels so sweet, the highs feel so high. And then I'm like, oh, I want it. I want to feel that drug. I want more of that drug. And that's the thing I've been talking to myself about. There is such peace in the surrender to the process, surrender to the fact that it is a puzzle you're not really going to solve. It's not really a math equation. And that pressure and discomfort you feel is the thing. I love this. Like, I love when especially women from SNL get together and have real-ass conversations. what those expectations are like and that schedule and yeah you know like all the things that happen to you like before during and after you know as a stand-up comedian with 23 years doing stand-up alone very alone like the fact that they have that it's like a sorority yeah it's amazing there is a special bond that you cannot even explain to people I love how you got how accepting and affirming you are to people that were not in that club because I feel like you guys are a strong gang. And you're doing a lot of wonderful things. And it seems like you go out of your way to be like, hey, I see you. Yeah. I got you. I think it's because we're trained to sort of be underdogs. Like, we're the underdogs there. And then the beautiful movie star. come then and sprinkles us and you say and then they leave and so you have this vibe of like it's just i'm nothing i'll make you i'll make you look good and also being able to jump in with new people each week each week i'm just fascinated by it because i don't know i just think it's like the craziest thing in the world and i grew up watching it loving it loving you guys and then seeing in person is like yeah unreal. You don't get enough credit and you get credit, but you, none of you get enough. I don't care if somebody was on it for one season or it's an unreal job. I always say, don't tell yourself no before someone else. I say that. I've said it out loud and I heard myself say it. Once you realize how the sausage is made, it's like, you might not want to, I don't want to yuck your yum. Go off and see if you want to do it. Quinta, I feel like you had recently talked about wanting to adapt the guest, and you wondered whether that was something you would be able, that you would be trusted with. And you said because you're a Black woman, this is not a Black story. Is that from personal experience, or is that based on the experiences of those that came before you and thus it was an assumption? It was an assumption because similar to the boxes, we're talking about what you start out with or what people know you for. Because, you know, Abbott is not what I started out with. It is what people know me for, which I'm grateful. The Guest was a book I read and I felt like I see the vision. I can adapt this. I really don't feel that way with books. I read a lot of books and I love them. But that was one where I said, oh, man, I have the bug. I have the bug to adapt. I have the bug to, like, direct. I don't really have that bug. and people always ask it on Abbott, but I don't want to direct Abbott. I'm already doing too much on Abbott. I want to sit there and do my jobs. But that book is about a flippant, brain-birded white girl who's running around the Hamptons, and she's so naive. And I think it's so far from who I am as a person that I do wonder if it'll become a struggle to try to make things that aren't about me. Another thing that was interesting with making Abbott is... It is inspired by my mom's story, but I don't believe that's what makes it good. I study comedy. I do this. It's a good comedy because I like comedy. I hope that I don't have to get caught in the trap of being the source material because I don't want to be the source material forever. I don't think there's freedom in that. Like if I'm supposed to keep making shows or movies about myself, that is so limiting and it goes into what we're talking about. I don't want to keep excavating my soul. to make things. And I think it has become an expectation for people of color. And it's not an expectation for white people, white men. But I think for a lot of black women, they're like, give us your insides. And I don't want to do that anymore. If I want to make a show about a dinosaur, I want to be able to make a show about a dinosaur. And not a black dinosaur, just like a green dinosaur, just a regular ass. That dinosaur could be blue. It could be blue. That's a thing that maybe isn't that relatable, but I feel hyper specific is like something that I feel I experience in many other creators of color. why do I gotta bring that trauma with my mom? I know. I had a manager say, oh, your mom's story is so incredible. Like, we're gonna make a TV show of that. And I was like, that's a drama. I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna do that drama. That's it. I don't, I wouldn't even want that. I wouldn't even wanna do that to my mother. Right, right. She wants her story. Like, you know, I was like, that's such a fascinating instinct when she heard a bit about me. Like, we're gonna make that a show. And I'm like, it's not for consumption. Right, exactly. Yeah. People want to see you. the way they want to see it. Yeah. They kind of have an urge to keep seeing you bleed. And I don't really want to do that with my career. I would really love to. eventually make things that have nothing to do with me. For me, it's such an honor and a privilege to be a plus-size woman writing stories about my New York with non-binary people and trans people. But I shouldn't have to have a meeting about code switching and explain to you why this black woman who is 53 is a millionaire and a boss, but she also says the N-word. She's also bisexual and she's a lot of other things that you probably can't understand. But don't worry about it, those people do exist. And so like just explaining that to people is so crazy. I know this sounds crazy but like I'll sit there and watch Dune and I'm like... yeah I want it what is the dune of of Maya Rudolph's dreams what is the like do I have to be so closely associated with my um does my personal story need to be so associated with my work all the time yeah like I really hope not because I think that is limiting for the creative space I think we're missing out on a lot of fun sci-fi stuff because if I walk in they're like tell us about being a black woman in the industry. I'm trying to make the next Willy Wonka. Leave me alone. Do you know who's saying that? Yes. And I also think that what's frustrating about it is that you are thinking those things and you may... create something and let's say it doesn't happen we don't know what that project is but I do think by doing that it is going to find its way somewhere we just may not reap the benefit but somebody is feeling that shift because there are so many times where I've seen something done and think oh why didn't I think of it that way? Yeah. Yeah, I didn't have to make it autobiographical. But you're absolutely right. That inherent expectation is usually there. And I think it's just a matter of how you deal with it. Do you ignore it? Yeah. Do you bypass it? Do you delve into it? One for them, one for me. Yeah. Any of it. And it's all correct. None of it's incorrect. But everybody's correct is different. Yep. So what's everyone's Willy Wonka or everyone's doing? What's the thing that you would love to do that no one's yet asked you to do? I want to be in a heist movie. I could see that. I'll see me robbing a bank. Yeah. Absolutely. Okay. This is going to sound dumb, but Bluey I know about because of my nieces and nephews. I love Bluey. I'm like, you know, like a little Bluey or. just something so silly and unrelated to me. And, and I get to hide in the shadows. So my dream is to make like a blue. What's your blue? I think you will. What's your bluey? What you doing? What's your blue on? So many unfinished projects. There are some things that I've been working on for the last five or six years that I kind of want to do before I do all the other stuff I want to do, which is... Yeah, I'd like to, I mean, I've been in Marvel. I'd like to circle back and have a superpower this year. What's your superpower going to be? I really just want to have the gift of prioritization. Oh. You're such an adult. We're like the lamest person you've ever had. Really, I just want to know. Do you know how much time we spend stressed out and worried about things that don't matter? I just want to have that. I love it which is why they're not calling so yeah for me there's some unfinished things I have a pop album of original music I have a documentary about what we were just talking about which is you know the juggle between trying to have children and trying to launch the show Hamilton that's coming out I have biopics that I'm working on about women who the world needs to remember and know I feel like it's a beautiful thing music to be in a place where you're like, I did this thing. I have created this show that is speaking to my tribe. And you have to get there to say the really genius thing you just said, which is, and now I want to do something else. Yeah. So where I'm at is I want to get there. Yeah. What I do love about this business is probably what people hate about it, is that it's unpredictable. And so I never know what's going to happen. And I love that for me. That keeps me interested. I feel like every day should be a surprise in a good way, in a productive way, however that means. And honestly, I feel like I'm doing it and I just want to do more of it. You know, fat, black, brown, queer content. Because now that I have these children, I just want to make sure that it happens with the arts. You know, that I'm... putting in all the allyship and comedyship and femaleship into what I do. Because this is how I express myself. And this is my legacy for these littles. What about you, Kristen? I am so grateful to be here listening to you guys today. I can't even tell you. Everything you guys are talking about is really hitting different points of my heart right now. And what you said about... going out of that sort of comfort zone or like the zone. I really needed to hear that because I've been trying to write something for a while and I kind of put it away. It's not really a comedy. And I think I've been practicing. How I talk to people about it in a defensive way, say it's not a comedy, but wait, just listen, it might be cool. I think because I'm writing it sort of on my own and all of the stuff I've written has been a comedy and people expect that from me, I'm already putting that thing in front of me of like, are you sure you want to do this? You don't really know how to do this. and I've been stuck with it for like months and months. It's been kind of driving me crazy. And like, I believe in these little moments in the universe where people connect with you. And I'm, I'm like, I don't know. It just feels very like I have to figure out what my voice is and just put it out there and not worry about that stuff. Because the categorizing, I think of things that we've all done, I didn't quite realize was such a. blanket. Yeah. And you know, I think it's so funny because people sometimes are like, you know, you can't do this. Even if they don't say it out loud, it's like assumed. Sometimes I feel like if you haven't done drama, they make it seem like comedy is harder. And if you haven't done comedy, they make it seem like, I mean, if you have done comedy, they make it seem like drama is hard, whatever it is. Yeah. Yeah. Constantly do that. And I just think it's. bullshit it is it's totally bullshit and it is so exciting yeah for me to hear you say that you're about to write something well it's scary i mean even you said dune i was like that's literally visually sort of yeah this thing in my head and it might be a little comedic but the self-talk around it of like how do i explain to people are they even going to say yes because i've done things that are dramatic on the page that I thought were gonna be dramatic and then you get there and they're like you can get improvise and I'm like dramatic yeah and I've done dramatic scenes and I've been in a screening where I do something and then people laugh you know what I mean so I don't know I tried not to think about what I was going to say and just talk um but I'm so yeah okay so just want to say and I said this to you upstairs um watching you do Aunt Linda at table, okay? But yeah, we have tons and tons and tons of hosts at SNL. Everyone's wonderful. Everybody's incredible. Watching you do that at table, and I sit four seats away, four or five seats, I was like, this is an artiste. What made it so massive to me was the nuance and the performance, which comes from I'm an artist first, right? And not that you need to hear it from me, but I should tell you because I'm like, I was gushing to one of the producers. I was gushing to Heidi. I was just like... I feel like I learned something. And that is a person who is not just, I'm silly, I'm going to do hijinks and make you laugh. I was like, what made that so incredible to watch was like, you were acting. Like, yes, what you were saying was funny, but I was like, I know this woman. And we read 40 sketches at our table. I've been there for six seasons and seen tons of hosts. Everybody's phenomenal. But I just remember that performance. I'm like, you can do anything. It's the same. We talk about how if you like make someone laugh all of a sudden all the rest of the stuff all the groundwork you put under is like me. That's right. Tomorrow is not promised and I love that every day feels different. Like this is, but this is what I'm talking, it's so amazing to be in this career. and still feel crazy and nervous and anxious about something. That's a great place. You don't wish it on yourself, but that's always a great motivation. I'm excited to see what everyone at this table is going to not. be afraid to do. All five of these people are going to be in your movie. What they're going to do, we're going to end on more of a lightning round. You've had a long day of work. What do you turn on your TV? Bravo. I'm not ashamed. You're a Real Housewives girl, right? Bob's Burgers. Only Murders in the Building. Queer Eye. I watch that with my girls. You know what? Honestly, it's something I've never done in my entire life. I'm doing now. It's just so pathetic that I'm saying this, but I turn on Girls by Baba. I do not watch, but I literally turned it off because I didn't realize until season three that it exists for me. Only because I have been sitting there doing that show all this time and still I come home and I question my ability to dream this ambitiously at my age. I mean, I'm doing the show about these women who are absurdly dreaming about getting back to be pop music stars after 20 years later. And then they are ridiculous. That is there so that I remember I'm allowed to still dream. Yeah. You can be 50 and dream. Don't let the world tell you that it is absurd to do something new. Ever. Who cares? Yeah. Yeah. That song at the end. What's her name's song? Which one? What's the name of the show? I do get my way. Sarah Bareilles? Yeah, she... That song, like, made me cry. For medium time? Yeah. Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. It's about medium time. Can we just say how great it is? It really was just this idea that, like, there is a level of fame that's right in the middle. maybe nobody knows who you are, but you got a job. Yeah. That actually has value and worth and don't let anybody tell you it doesn't matter. How beautiful is that? All right. All right. So what was the first thing when you get your first real paycheck? What's the first splurge? Crab Lake dinner. I took all my friends to a Crab Lake dinner the first time. All my friends from Philly who all of us were broke, dead broke. bananas and cup of noodles every day for lunch, dinner, breakfast, whatever. And I took them all out to a crab leg dinner. And I still like to do that. Yeah. The money was spent. So funny. HMO to PPR. Yeah. Yeah. And I bought some hair. I marched myself into Tiffany's I got a job at SNL and Emily Spivey told me to and I bought myself some gold bang yes I love that. See, I bought gold jewelry too, but it was from Majoree, because I was still scared. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have a friend telling me to do it. I was scared too. I'm in this gold gold race. Look close. I can wash my hands now. Put my shoes on. This was a long time ago. Gold has really raised significant value. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you remember what this was? I don't remember. I don't think I did anything. I don't. You still did. It's not too late. It's not too late. Go find your gold earrings. I'm at island. Think about it. I brought a little island because I was scared. Next time we move to wait in some leather pants. All right. What's the most used emoji on your phone? Oh, no. That's the most used thing. I do this one. This one. Yeah. Mine's the laughing so hard I'm crying so it's like side by side. Mine is the melting smiley face because that is me. This is so, yeah. It's really good. This is. Mine's the yellow heart or the. That's not. It's creative based off me. No, it's pretty good. When my dad first started texting, he didn't know. He thought that was a smile. So he would text me and be like, hi, I love you. So. my aunt used to write lol because she thought it meant lots of love maybe it does wait why did she where do you have the same uncle i thought it was lots of love oh my goodness now right it's not okay no mine's upside down smiley face or the okay and then praying hands is up there somewhere yeah yeah yeah chat in honor of girls five what would you each name your girl group oh maybe transformation you really five six but i'm sorry let's circle back i wanted to do next i know i i was gonna say i wanted to i wanted to go I'm looking right at you. I saw you on Broadway. I saw you on Broadway. Sometimes when you see people on stage, you're like, I want, I want, I want, I want to be that. I want to do that. I want to be her, know her. That's what it was. Wow. The greatest thing ever about having done it is like, especially Hamilton, because everybody, all your heroes came to see it. It's like the most amazing people in the world would say. Yeah. But it seems so sad. Can I tell you? how much scarier SNL is. Well, that's what they think. And I tell you how much scarier it is to do what you guys are doing, which is starring and writing and writing. Like, I guess that's what's so beautiful about what you said, is that you just need to know that whatever is scary, you've already been, you've already trained for it. And you just don't know it. And I'm super excited. I mean, if you just have the bravery to say out loud you want to do it, it's... Do you know how many people are calling you? I got a ton of people. Oh, my gosh. I'm like, that hasn't happened yet. Yeah, yeah. she knows she did she did a commercial i was like you better do it and then for you okay so the circle was my pandemic show oh my goodness my sister like the girl who hosts this like she's mad fun and i'm like that's michelle she didn't know so whatever i'm saying all this to say all of you i think are the most dynamic women and you can do whatever you want and i know we're all comedy girls and you make people laugh and they forget about how like dynamic you actually are but look at what every time I meet people that I'm just kind of enamored with they're always and on that thank you all for doing this so we do one last cheer thank you transformation oh I'll try go I gotta say, as an actress and stand-up comic, I felt right at home with these insightful, funny, supportive, and even, dare I say, dramatic women. you know what we call that in hollywood strange well until next time i'm ivana orji and this is off script with a hot