Transcript for:
Yasir Khan's Insights on Speaking Success

When I was in prison, visiting, it's genius. It's genius. It gets their attention and it makes them laugh. Yasir Khan is the speech coach. Behind some of the world's top CEOs and billionaires. He is one of the fastest growing creators with over 3 million followers. Good speakers are remembered, great speakers are repeated. Repeat repeat as many times as you can because marketing is repetition So what happens in your case is that whatever word comes out of your mouth are perfectly placed in the right segment So this is something that i've taught ceos executives media training and speeches Is called p I grew up very socially anxious. I did not want to be around people I was being trained at every step of the way not to say something and if i'm just quiet i'm safe if i'm quiet i'm safe It made me feel so insecure that I said, okay, I've got to do something about it. And 10 years later, I'm training CEOs of multi-million, billion-dollar companies on public speaking. So this entire story started with insecurity, and now it's become my ultimate competition. They had a company that was worth $400 million, and I got on a call with them. They said, yeah, I want you to help me with my public speaking. How much do you charge? I couldn't think of a bigger number than a... Okay, that is interesting. You are really good at content creation. How the... Did you grow to 3 million followers in 2 years? The entire step-by-step plan that I followed and you'll be shocked to see how... I want to know that! That's like crazy. Mr. Yasir Khan, welcome to the podcast. Thank you very much. How are you feeling today? Absolutely phenomenal. I've been waiting for this day for a few years now. A few years! You and I have known each other. You've had a podcast. You've had many other speakers. I said, hey, how about the public speaking? Let's bring him on. So here we are. But I think you are more than public speaking. First of all, you are a good friend. Let's start from there. And just to give a little bit of a background, I saw you first in your social media videos and I was like, who is this guy? Because the way that you speak and everything, because for a very long time, I thought maybe you were, because from your background, I thought that you were from, you know, South Asian background. But then I thought that maybe you were born here or you're brought up here because your accent and everything. And you're so eloquent speaker. So I was like mesmerized by your videos that I was watching. But yeah, just give me a little background about your, like, how did you, like, how do you have such a great accent? Yeah, it's. It's interesting, I hear that a lot, that people think I'm from Canada, but I feel like I have a unique ability of taking the environment I'm surrounded in and just absorbing it. So for example, when I was a child, I used to sound Pakistani, right? And then I went to Malaysia for four and a half years, and when I came back from there, my friends said, what the heck is your accent? Why do you sound like that? And I didn't know what they meant. But I had friends from Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, Ukraine, Malaysia, and it all mixed together and it turned into this really weird hybrid accent that I didn't even know I had. And I realized from that point on I have this tendency where if I'm around certain people saying certain things Doing certain things with their body. I subconsciously pick it up very very quickly So then when I came to Canada after that I was around Canadians I was around local people and in a couple of years I started talking like this and again my friends were like bro What is what is this chameleon accent you have? So I'm sure if I move to Dubai or if I move to Indonesia my accent will completely change again so I really immerse myself in my craft and the people I'm around so I think it sticks when that happens. So how long has it been since you moved to Canada? Since December 26 of 2016, so about seven, eight years. Seven, eight years. And did you ever think that you will be known as a public speaking coach? Not only did I not think I was going to be known for that, it was literally the last thing I would ever want to do in my life because I was going to be a public speaking coach. Here's the thing, Saaz. I grew up very socially anxious. I did not want to be around people. I was as introverted as I could get. Stuttered like 14 times there. And then I was so glued to my computer that I had no social skills developed. So I wanted a job where I could just be in front of my computer all day, every day and do nothing and no human interaction. Now, somehow that insecurity flipped all the way to the other side. About 10 years later and I became a public speaking coach. So you can imagine the irony of that. To this point, my dad tells my family, did you ever picture Yasser becoming a public speaker? Let alone telling other people. Because when he was a kid, he wouldn't even speak on the dining table, right? So this whole thing has been very, very ironic. But if anything, I'm hoping my story can show other people that if they're a certain way at one point in their life, they're not ingrained into that. They can always change. Yeah, I know a little bit about your background. When you came here, you were obviously like what you're talking about. about introvert kid looking to trying to fit in but how what things helped you to fit in in the first place crippling insecurity number one so when you have when you have a little bit of pain in your life you're you're all right okay i'll let this burn in the background for a bit but when the pain gets so severe where it starts affecting your daily confidence how you feel about yourself then you want to do something about it so for me going you To a very young age, I felt very afraid of just voicing myself. My dad, he had a bit of a temper, so I wanted to be very careful about what I said. And in school, I wasn't the brightest, so I'd often have the wrong answers. And when I would raise my hand and say the wrong answer, the teacher would make fun of me in front of the whole class. So I was being trained at every step of the way not to say something. And if I'm just quiet, I'm safe. If I'm quiet, I'm safe. So just stay quiet the entire time. So then as you grow and you go into school, you're not popular, you don't have friends, you're not with the cool kids, you don't have any girls chasing after you, and it starts to burn over time and you really want to do something about it. So eventually when I was in high school, I had this one big conference that I attended because there was a girl there that I really liked. I just wanted to impress her. So I said, oh, what session is she attending? I want to go there too. So I attended that conference. I suited up and everything. There were a couple of instances where people asked me for my opinion in that conference and I said maybe two words and nothing else and then I posted a photo of that conference on my Facebook back in the day and one of the top comments and that was the one conference where Yasser did and they had like 20 likes on it and it hurt so much because I knew it was a public speaking focus conference and I went and embarrassed myself and I felt ashamed so that That status being taken away from you, it made me feel so insecure that I said, okay, I've got to do something about it. And that's when the wheels started turning one at a time. And I started seeking YouTube videos and how do I get better at this? And eventually my parents said, okay, let's send him to a different country. Maybe he'll open up. So they sent me to Malaysia. So this conference you were talking about was back in Pakistan? This was in Pakistan. It was a model United Nations conference. So then I went to Malaysia and their goal was, okay, he's going to open up. But I... I became even more shelled up because now I didn't know anyone, I didn't speak the language, and it got even more introverted. And eventually I made some friends, but just when I realized, oh, I'm getting better at this, I came back to Pakistan. I finished my degree. So my parents said, okay, well, you don't really have any talent. You already paid for your education in Malaysia. Great way to motivate. Yeah. Is there anything you can do? So funny story, I had a job at a bank for about two months and it was the most miserable experience of my life. And I realized that I'm not cut out for this either. So I can't speak to people. I can't look at a computer. What can I do? So eventually my parents said, okay, let's send you to Canada just so you know. This is the last bit of money we have. We've sold the car. We've sold the land. You got to figure out something. They've invested everything in you. Everything. And to be honest, at the time, I was like, oh, I'm going to Canada, man. This is an amazing place. But none of my thoughts were around public speaking or making a career. But when I came to Canada, I realized just how unskilled I was at making friends and talking to people. So one of the first things I did... Which year was it? This was 2016. So I googled how to make friends in this small town called Kamloops in British Columbia. And the first thing that popped up was a public speaking club called Toastmasters. And I didn't know what Toastmasters was. I thought it was a place where people sit in a circle and make a toast or a place to get a... Good grilled cheese sandwich, like one of those two things, right? So I went there and I said, Toastmasters, public speaking. No, no, no, no, no, no. I didn't come here for that. So I take a quick U-turn. And before I can, this woman saw me and she said, Oh, we have a guest today. Come on up and introduce yourself. And now there's 30 people. I mean, you in the country, I don't know anyone. So I slowly, I'm looking around, I'm sweating, I'm walking right up to the stage and I can feel the eyes on me. And in that moment, Sahas... I have no idea what I said. To this day, I have no idea. Completely blanked out, some words came out of me, went back and sat in my seat and said, man, this is why you should just buy a PlayStation, sit at home, play the games, go to class, come back, and that's it. And I felt so defeated in that moment, until that woman came back on stage, and then she looked directly at me, and there's these 30 other people, and she said, Yasir, this is your first day in Canada, this is your first time speaking in front of an audience, period. Congratulations on taking that first step. Seriously, man. And then everyone started clapping. Now I'm thinking, is this a Canadian thing? Are they just this nice to everybody? Like, did you hear my speech, right? So afterwards, as I was leaving, never to come back, She came to me and she said, hey, Yasser, are you coming back? I said, yeah, you know, I'll think about it. I'll check my calendar. I'll ask my grandma, check my horoscope. And then once everything is at perfect alignment, I will come back and let you know. Whatever we say, but we don't want to come back. And then she said, Yasser, I know you have hesitations, but 23 years ago, I was exactly where you are. But what helped me is just taking the next step. And it might, that one next step you take might change your life forever. So if you come back next week and the week after that and the week after that, I think you might have a skill here. Why don't you just come back next week? So I came back the week after, the week after, got a little bit better, and eventually she said, hey, you're getting a little better. You want to try out this public speaking contest? I said, woman, I came here to make friends, not to win a freaking public speaking contest, right? But I enlisted for it anyway, and then I won the contest. And that... that was such a pivotal moment in my life, Sahas, because it was the first time I ever did something meaningful. And it was the first validation that I was ever good at something. Did you tell your parents about it? No, I did not. Not at that moment. So I won the contest. And then she said, you should continue doing this. And eventually, but why didn't you tell your parents? It was such a big achievement. They thought that you were my parents, they sent me to do a business degree. And for them, it was just figure this out. Don't waste time with anything. They were like, Oh, don't put yourself... You already wasted four years on your education. Don't mess this up in your master's degree too. So I went in with that in mind. And then when I won the contest, I started coaching other students and eventually the students started getting good grades and then the teacher would say, wait, this student got a D in the last presentation. How did they get an A? And then they would say, oh, Yasser trained me. And eventually the instructors would say, can you come and train the faculty too? Can you speak at this conference? And one of the faculty members would say, hey, I've got this person I know who has a business in town. Can you go and train them? And 10 years later, I'm training CEOs of multi-million, billion-dollar companies on public speaking. So this entire story started with insecurity, and now it's become my ultimate competence. So it's the ultimate irony of my life. Seriously, man. See, I think I want to talk a lot about public speaking also and body language and all those fancy things that you are already an expert in. Very few people talk about this thing about you, that you are really, really great at content creation. Right. Right? How the f*** did you grow to 3 million followers in 2 years? Yeah. I want to know that. That's like crazy. See, that's what I was telling you when I started. You know, I came to Canada in 2019. Right. So, when I started consuming a little bit of content, and I found out you're on TikTok. For the first one year, I wasn't on TikTok. Yeah, yeah. I... probably would have found you in 2020 2021 and uh this guy is really good i mean and plus i was also learning the way that you know things that you were talking about and i was implementing into my uh thing also i think that is how we got connected and i texted you dm'd you then i spoke to jeff and that's how but man like you are really good at online creation and i want to dissect all your strategies yeah like how do you do that i'll give you the The entire step-by-step plan that I followed and you'll be shocked to see how unplanned it was and hopefully gives inspiration to you and your viewers. I just also want to add over there like I remember a few months ago you and I we had a call about I was telling you why aren't you on Instagram? Right. And you were like I don't know TikTok is doing great for me and all that the YouTube is doing good I don't I mean just start posting okay what the hell let's do it. Two months after I see you at a million. Yeah, I forgot I have you to thank for that. I had no idea. I completely forgot why I was going on Instagram. And it's funny. The reason I got on TikTok was the same reason I got on Instagram. So I had I first started on YouTube in 2018 and I was just making videos reviewing my university where I went because people had questions about the university. How do you get a part time job? That kind of thing. But then I couldn't really figure out the YouTube game for some reason. I just kept talking about. vastly different topics. Oh, here's how to save money. Here's how to get a job. Here's how to write a resume. And they were just all over the place. So eventually when TikTok came around, my ex-girlfriend at the time was addicted to it. It just all the time. And I knew TikTok to be this dancing platform. Like I want nothing to do with it, whatever. And then one day she said, why don't you just throw some of the videos on there and see what happens? So I said, okay, great. I threw them on there. I forgot about it months past. And eventually I looked. back of the account and I had 4,500 followers on there. I said, Oh, this is not bad. That's pretty okay. So I started making some more videos around it. And then I got a 10,000. I think I got to my first a hundred thousand in about a month and a half. And that's the first platform I had a lot of followers on. I said, Oh my God, this is happening. But here's the thing. Before I got to a hundred thousand, I just put a mini form in my TikTok that said, Hey, if you want to hire me as a coach, just book a call here. When I had about 8,000 followers, someone booked a call with me. And I saw the form that they filled out. They had a company that was worth $400 million, and they were the CTO of the company. I said, there's no way this person came from TikTok. And I got on a call with them, and they said, yeah, I want you to help me with my public speaking. How much do you charge? And the biggest number that I could throw out, I couldn't think of a bigger number than $1,000. So I said, yeah, it's $1,000. And they said, OK, and how many sessions would I need? I said, I don't know, let's do like four a month. Okay, sure. So $4,000. Yeah, that sounds good. No, no, no. I was, I was going to say, yeah, 4,000 sounds good. That's, that's amazing. So that was the first client that I got and I couldn't believe it when the, when the invoice went through. Yeah. And then I realized, holy crap, TikTok has an audience of these types of people. Then I doubled down. So what I did from a content perspective is I would sit down in front of my phone or my camera. And I would record 25 videos a day. And I'm talking, these are like 20 second to 30 second videos. So I would write down in a Google Docs how to start a presentation, how to end a presentation, how to get a stronger voice. I would look at it. Here's how to get a stronger voice. Do X, Y, Z. If you want to start your speech, do this. And I would just do that 25 times. And Sahas, there were days when I was uploading 25 videos a day. Oh, shit. A day. This is c**t. Every single day. 25 videos a day. I would wake up and that's all I would do. But then the results spoke for themselves. My channel was growing at an insanely fast rate. Eventually I said, okay, I have 25 videos. Yasser, what if you don't upload all of them today? What if you upload some of them today and some of them tomorrow? Let's try to schedule this, right? What an amazing concept. So then I started filming them every other day and I would schedule them weeks in advance. Started to grow, started to grow. I've got millions of followers that way. Give a step-by-step process. Like, what is your framework of creating content? What do you think? What is the script? What is the hook? What is the body? And how do you end it? So you're not going to like this answer, but I did not do any of that. And this is not because it was a creative focus for me. It was because I'm very ADHD. If I get an idea, I can't write it down and do it later. I have to do it right now. So there will be times where I'm talking to my girlfriend. I said, hey, can you stop for a second? I'll be right back. I'll go film the video, come back and continue the conversation. That's how my mind works. So what will happen is, let's say I've got 14 things to do that day. I'll just pause them when I get an idea and I'll just go start filming videos and I'll just start talking for about half an hour. And that just turns into content. I'll have libraries of content already, but because it's fresh, I need to do it right away. So when it comes to the hook, the body. I didn't follow it at the time, but what I try to do is right away tell them what they're going to get in the next 30 seconds. So here's the best way to start a speech. Or don't do X, Y, Z. I found more people respond to the don't do angle, like never start a speech like this. The negative hook. Yeah. Even if you don't have a speech coming up, you just want to know, okay, what should I not do? Or never do this when you're sitting in a meeting. I had one seminar I was doing, and I said, here's why you should never take notes with a pencil. And then I said, raise your hand if you're using a pencil. And everyone raised their hand. And I said, I actually don't have a reason for this. I just want to test out the hook. Everyone just started laughing. So it's just when you tell people what not to do or never do this, they get curious about it. So a lot of my content was just around don't do this. It's don't do this. And then I talk about a framework or a story of how I did it. And at the end, I just give them a technique to work with. So it would be something like don't do XYZ, or here's how to do ABC, a technique or a story in the middle. And then I would remind them of the technique at the very end. Okay, so the reminder at the end again, like what the technique was. Yes, exactly. So you're explaining the technique in the whole body. And how long is this video you're talking about? At the time, they were 20 seconds to 45 seconds. Okay, and that's consumable. Yeah, but then TikTok's algorithm changed over time. And then they wanted longer and longer videos. Yeah, a minute long. And it's much easier for me to do longer videos than shorter. Because shorter, you have to condense it. You have to know how long each segment is. Okay, you have one of the highest... Viewed videos also, like I was just checking out your Instagram, TikTok. I think there is one video about Steve Jobs that you created. It got 45 million views on YouTube. I had friends from middle school who reached out to me on Facebook saying they saw that video. Let's play that video for a moment. Go ahead. The iPad, and it is genius. What should we price that? If you listen to the pundits, we're going to price it. It has got 2.4 million likes. Which is code for $999. He first gives you a high price as an anchor, and then he says... And I am thrilled to announce to you that the iPad pricing starts not at $999. but at just 499 so dramatic with the so dramatic this sudden drop in price makes the new price look all the more appealing 499 might seem really expensive but 499 down from a thousand now that's a good price you know what's interesting about that video if you check the comments 99 of them are about how obvious what i said is And a lot of them are, oh, Hagler's in India do this all the time, bro. This is not revolutionary. I'm hoping in those 45 million, there were a group of people who still got value from it. And the other half were like, bro, my tailor does this every time I go to him as well. Yeah, but it's a very good, the way that you started this is like... This is how Steve Jobs announced the price of the iPad. And it is genius. Like, break down this. Like, how did you get into it? So Steve Jobs, people are familiar with Steve Jobs. This is how he did XYZ. I want to see what that process is like, anticipation. And it is genius, so it sounds like there's some inherent tip or technique there that they will learn. So this is the hook of it, and then the meat is me dissecting how he did it. So you are using a credibility hook, sorry, celebrity hook. Yes. Somebody who is known to most of the people. Right. And then you're telling like, this is how he did it. And you are also anchoring the fact that it was genius. So that they, you know, you push a little extra in saying that, you know, this is how you could also become a genius. Exactly. And this was supposed to be a sales video. I was supposed to make a video about price anchoring, where if you have a number and you place it next to a much bigger number, the price looks smaller. But if I said, here's how to price anchor, you lose 44.9 million views right there. See, this is so interesting because I wouldn't want to listen to price anchoring video because most of the people wouldn't even understand the definition of price anchoring. And it only gets people who are familiar with that terminology. Yeah. And I want to make the message a lot more broad. And that's why you used a little known personality and the way that he did it. If I say, here's how to start a speech, and I give them the technique. Even if I'm saying the right thing, people might think, okay, but who's this guy? Why should I trust him? But if I say, here's how Steve Jobs starts his speech, now all of a sudden they can't argue. And you remember, like you and I, we were also having the same discussion that why would people care about, oh, this is how you become a public speaker. Yeah. Because most of the people might not be even interested in becoming a public speaker. But if you say that, this is how Pranika Chopra would speak, spoke on the recent interview. Yes. I will say from a business point. Sometimes people are not interested in the public speaking, they're just interested in seeing what their favorite celebrity does. So they're not always interested. They're like, oh yeah, I love Taylor Swift, isn't she an amazing public speaker? So it has nothing to do with their interest in public speaking. So sometimes it attracts the wrong views too. You gotta keep that in mind. Yeah, but you know what is interesting about it? Once they thought, I mean this is what my analysis is, that you know, maybe they've gotten into consuming your content from the entertainment perspective. Right. But towards the end, they're also learning out of it. Yeah. Which gets them to come back again to you and saying, Oh, it was entertaining, but I also learned something new about it. Yeah. The hope is that you, you spread the message to people who don't know they need it. So I didn't want to be a good public speaker until I met Karen Knight that day. So I'm hoping someone doesn't want to be a public speaker, a good communicator. And they watch my video and say, Hey, Taylor Swift is so amazing. Steve Jobs is so amazing. I can be like that too. I get DMs like that all the time from people saying, hey, my sister. Dude, let's not talk about the DM. You don't. Okay. My assistant tells me I get DMs, but every now and then when I check. For a very long time, you didn't check your Instagram DMs. Until last time when we met in India, we literally asked you to check out your DMs. So let me put out the reason why I don't check my social media very often. When you and I met, I was not following anyone on TikTok. I was not following anyone on Instagram, not because I'm trying to be a douchebag, but because I just don't use the app. And last time when we checked, there were such big celebrities who had texted you, DMed you, and you never cared to respond. Correct. Because I never checked the message, right? So now, every now and then, I still check the message, and sometimes I'll get people who are well-known and reaching out, and sometimes I'll get someone who's like, hey, my six-year-old watched your video, and he's gotten really interested in public speaking. I've had people who... defended their PhDs because of their the tips that they got from my video so I learned that hey I've gotten people interested in this subject, whereas previously they were not already interested in it. And I didn't know I had that capability of doing it till I got on social media. And I think understanding how much element of entertainment value you want to add into your content, how much educational value that you want to add in the same piece of content, that ratio needs to be also very much definitive. Right. Don't you think? I have mixed feelings on this. Whenever I create entertaining content, I feel like the types of people it brings in are not the type of people I resonate with. I'm a teacher. This is what I like to do. I like to train people to become better in their life. And when I make entertainment videos, they're coming in for the fun factor but not always to learn. And many times I'll get the comments like, oh, I didn't need your extra analysis on it. I just wanted to see how she was speaking. So those aren't the right types of people I'm attracting. So that's why you'll see that I'm changing some of my hooks. I could just start with Robert Downey Jr. speaking on stage, right? But instead I'll say, here's how Robert Downey Jr. started his speech, because I only want people who are interested in public speaking to watch that. So I try to balance it. Every now and then I'll have a little bit of a broader audience, but I want people who are interested in learning. And sometimes entertaining videos don't exactly bring that kind of audience. Yeah, I've also seen that. Like, in between, even I, somewhere, post my content. a little deeper towards the entertainment side. I got a lot of followers, but those are not the kind of followers that I was actually resonating with. And I knew over the period of time they might unfollow me just because they thought that it was an entertainment channel, but it is an educational channel. Well, let me tell you the worst example of this that I've done. When they had the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial, I was in Cancun on vacation. And I couldn't stop watching the trial. It was just because there's all sorts of body language, and this is what she said, this is what he said. And I was dissecting the whole public speaking angle of it. And I was getting millions of views on every single video. To this day, if you look at my most, right? But the thing is, then it became a gossip channel. Everyone started coming to my channel to find out my thoughts on this day of the trial. And I didn't realize that until much later on when my following was really high, but my views were very low. Because I was no longer making gossip videos on Amber Heard and Johnny Depp anymore. See what I'm saying? So sometimes, even if you make content that's getting millions of views, it might not be the best for you long term. Yeah, I think this is called moment marketing. Like whatever is trending and you're talking or giving your reactions based on that. Yeah, I will say, however, trending content for me is the best performing by a mile. I feel on Instagram and on TikTok, both my highest performing video is me analyzing the TikTok CEO speaking to Senate. Oh, yeah. It's 13 million on one, and I think it's got 11 million on the other one. Even on YouTube, it's got millions. So that one across the board did really well. How much? 13 million, you said? 13 million, I think, on TikTok, and actually three of my videos. There's another one which you made about Sundar Pichai. Right. Yeah, same kind of concept. Okay, so this was where you anchored... Talking about that, whether he or she is a good public speaker. Yeah. So the thing with Sinder Pichai is he is someone a lot of people look up to. And they're just curious. He does it this way. Then I should do it this way too. And then you're just more likely to watch it. But do you think that it is also somewhere we are also attracting a lot of South Asian audience? And this person was known to most of the South Asian audience? Yeah, definitely. And if you look at the comments, predominantly South Asians. And maybe I feel that even South Asian audience also wants to. become better at communication. Man, the amount of talent in that part of the world, unreal. Just like, I'm not even talking about... Just India, like India, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, like there's so many people so talented there. And it's the first time I'm seeing that they're growing talent natively now. Like they know how to communicate because of YouTube. They know how to code and build the apps. They don't need to go to the US or Canada or the UK anymore. This is so interesting, man. Like I think whenever most of the long conversation that you and I have had is actually about content creation itself. And this side of you, maybe not many people know about. I don't get to talk to anyone about content other than you. You're the only person I talk to about content and I get so excited about it because it's what I do all day every day. Yeah, I remember like anytime whenever we have had any conversations on emails or whatever, I mean, when we are talking, you're like, okay, now I'm going to go back home. You become so excited, I'm going to go back home. I'll send you the video the moment I make it. It's exciting, it's new, right? But dude, you know, what is the best part about you? That you are really quick in taking actions. This is what I love about you. Because you don't give it a second thought. You don't even give second thought that whether I will be able to do it or not. You just, you're like, screw it. I'll do it. Yeah. I have a very small buffer between idea and implementation. And that's both a strength and a con because I'm doing too many things too fast. Oh, let's try this. Let's try that. Let's try that. But then I also fail very quickly and I learned the lesson. Yeah. So instead of. Hey, will this work? Let me think if this is the best strategy. Let me just do it and find out. It'll take me less time. So whenever you give me an idea, okay, let's just test it out and I'll go test it out and the next day I'll have feedback already. So I've had many people who just take years. I like to make those decisions in a very small period of time. How do you think that you have got that strength built up of Taking quick decisions? i'm a very impulsive person Because of the adhd. It doesn't allow me to save Ideas. If I get an idea, it has to be right now. Otherwise, in 20 minutes, I'll have a new idea, and I'll want to do that. So if I don't do this now, it won't get done. And people have different tricks where if I get a content idea, I'll put out my phone, and I'll jot it down on my list. I'll have this idea board notion. None of that stuff works for me. It has to be done right now. And it's what's got me to where I am now. And the thing is I've noticed if I'm filming an idea that I'm excited about now, I show up differently in the video. So if I see something right now where... hey, this is a great speaker, let me film this. As opposed to, let me put this on the list for next week and I'll sit down and I'll watch the video and I'll review it. The kind of enthusiasm I have for the video, it's very different. So a lot of times you'll see on my Instagram, I'll get off a client call and the client will ask me this question, I'll give him an explanation and I'll see the result. And immediately I'll make a video about it. And then you can freshly see my thoughts and my thought process around it. And that, it comes across in the video that this guy knows what he's talking about. Every time. Because I literally just had that discussion. But you know what's great about it? That you're also able to verbalize your thoughts in a succinct manner, which is consuming. also at the same time, which is not possible for a lot of people. Right. Right. Like a lot of people like I'll give you my example. Even if I have a very good, good content to talk about, I will take time to script it out, write it down, configure it. incise it down, only then I will speak it. And again, you're absolutely right about it, you know, because you're feeling the energy and everything, enthusiasm. Maybe, see, right now, you and I, we are talking, we are all excited, we are all, you know, energized while having this kind of a conversation. Now, with me, what happens is that even if I want to talk about it in a short reel that I want to create, I will have to go back, write script, because I feel, for me, I have to choose my words very correctly. And somewhere, what comes... naturally to you because you have built that talent slowly and gradually of speaking into the public and building that, you know, how to talk in front of people. So that is helping you a lot. It's interesting. I get asked this a lot where do you use a teleprompter? Do you have a script? How are you able to talk? I have the opposite problem where if you put notes in front of me or slide deck in front of me, a teleprompter, I get nervous, which is really strange because for most people, they say, hey, if I don't have notes, I'm nervous. Yeah. For me, if I have I have notes I'm nervous. And the reason for that is because I can't be myself. Yeah. And I have to read what's on the slide word for word. And it's a performance now. Yeah. But you know what is also good about you is that, see, which is not with most of the people. Yeah. Because now, the reason why I'm saying it, because I'm doing the program that I understand that, you know, not many people are able to verbalize their thoughts or write the way that they want to. So what happens in your case is that whatever word comes out of your mouth are perfectly. placed in the right segment. Like for me, it will have a lot, I will have a lot of filler words. Even when I'm having this kind of a conversation, there are a lot of filler words that I'm using. Right. And which will happen because, you know, I am not very polished. How to speak in public in that way. Okay. I've had a change of thought around this. When I started learning public speaking and teaching public speaking, my goal was how do I sound perfect? So every word coming out of my mouth sounds like a professional public speaker. But you know what I realized? When I watch them from the outside, I think they're full of shit. I think they're fake. They don't sound real. Yeah. So I try to prioritize connection over perfection. And when you try to be so perfect, you lose that connection. You sound like a slimy salesman, right? I'll have all these public speaking coaches. I've worked with many. They're amazing people, but they're so hell bent, no filler words. And you have to talk like And it's like, no one talks like this. No one talks like that. I don't want to listen to this. Yeah. And it suppresses who I am as a person. And it took me a very long time to realize, and I'll be very vulnerable here. When I prepare for my TED Talk, I work with three different coaches. I rehearse that presentation over 200 times. And when I went up, everyone said, this is amazing. Wow, you did an amazing job. I can't watch that talk back now. I hate watching it. Because every single word of that is rehearsed. Every single pause is rehearsed. Every single walk on the stage is rehearsed. And to me, because I can tell, it doesn't sound authentic. So if I could go back and do it, I'd have my top points, but I would not script it word for word. And it's something I had to learn. So, okay, let's walk through that. Because I think this is going to be very helpful for somebody who is, like, you know, getting over the fear of speaking in the public or, you know, just having a communication, you know, networking events. So let's create a scenario. Let's imagine that... okay, I have a, so we are going to do all of this live. Okay. So I'm going to screw up, screw it up and see, I've already started doing it. Right. So I'm going to screw it up and you have to tell me what can I do better. Okay. Okay. So let's do like, for example, I have an event coming in the next, let's say 10 days. Got it. And I have to speak in front of 50 people. Okay. Now, where should I begin in order to prepare for it? And I'm your coach in the situation? Yes. Okay, fantastic. So, Sahas, you have an event coming up, about 50 people. Tell me about the audience. It's a mix of professionals and content creators. Okay. And, yeah, mostly those. Okay, so content creators. And what are they expecting to get out of your speech? They are getting, their expectation is to learn how to create content. Okay. And. grow their views, get more followers, and get more business monetization and all that. Got it. So if you stepped on stage and you spoke for X amount of time, and after you walked off stage, what do you want the audience to say about your talk? That it empowered them to take an action. Okay. Not thinking about perfection, but doing the things consistently, which will get them the results. Okay. Now, can you see how vague that might be? Yeah. right okay i want you to filter it out from this lens if i talk for an hour and they forget 99.9 of what i said and there's one sentence that they remember for the next year what would that one sentence be constant consistency beats everything else okay maybe we have some work to do here yeah The reason I say this is because if you ever attended a conference or a presentation, about five minutes later, I'm guaranteeing you forget most of it. But you will remember certain instances that are revolving around certain messages, stories, or phrases. So for example, For example, have you heard of JFK's moon landing speech where he says, one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind? Maybe you've heard that. Neil Armstrong. No, JFK said that in his speech. Oh, yeah, Neil Armstrong. So when he said that. Do you remember anything else from that entire segment? No. Okay. Martin Luther King, I Have a Dream. Do you remember anything else? No. Right? So people remember these phrases. They remember these stories. But when they're putting a presentation or speech together, they don't have those sound bites in there. So you want to come up with these sound bites first. Okay. And then you revolve the presentation around it. So someone's going to walk out of my presentation, and they're going to say to themselves, I need to make 10 videos. videos a week. That's the takeaway. And then your entire presentation is going to make the case for that message. So now there's no doubt, what will the audience take away from my message? I can go to anyone in your audience and I can ask them, hey, what did you take away from Sahas's speech? And they should be able to tell it to me like that. There should be no doubt. So what you're saying is that the transformation that I'm expecting my audience to have, it should be tangible? Yes. Not just tangible, repeatable. Repeatable. Good speakers are remembered, great speakers are repeated. Okay, that is interesting. So let's say you step on stage and, oh my God, what amazing, no filler words, amazing gestures, he's so great, I'll remember him forever. But no one's going to tell other people about you because they don't have the ammunition, they don't have the language, the message you've given to them. right? If you hear some inspirational quote from someone, you will then tell other people. So for example, one of my coaches, he has a saying, don't rush and resonate. I tend to talk very fast. And when I talk really fast, people can't resonate with that because I skip over the message really fast. Now here I am telling you don't rush and resonate because his message resonated with me. So these phrases, if you can litter them throughout your presentation with one, two, or three for each point you're giving them. At the end you can say here are three things I want you to remember. Make content every day, be consistent and focus on business not followers. And then when I go to someone and say hey what was your main takeaway? Well focus on business not followers, do this do that. Now you're memorable. So emphasize, like re-emphasize the thing that's repeat. Repeat as many times as you can because marketing is repetition. Yeah. The same message over and over again. We think they've understood but they haven't. Say it again and again and again and you can even do this in conversation. So if someone asks you a question, ask me any random question right now. What did you have for dinner? Okay, fantastic. I had roast chicken for dinner. And the reason I had roast chicken is because I'm trying to go to the gym. I'm trying to stay in shape. I'm trying to cut out carbs as much as I can. I want to eat something that's very high in protein, but also doesn't take a lot of time to make. And I find that when I get roast chicken, the ingredients are very predictable and I can make it every single day. So what I had for dinner yesterday was roast chicken. Now let's break down this. Okay. What first, before we do that, what was my answer? What did I have for dinner yesterday? Roast chicken. Is that clear to you? Yeah. How many times did I repeat it? Multiple times. Multiple times. And that answer was 30 seconds long. So when you speak and you're that clear and you repeat it several times, there's no doubt in the other person's mind what you're saying. But what I want to understand is this, what went into your mind to build this? Message the statement great format. So this is something that I've taught CEOs executives and media training and speeches is called PRP You could expand this to PR EP which is you make the point first You then provide reasons and then you end by making the point again and the reason you end by making the point again is because some people talk and then they'll just stop talking and So for example, I love roast chicken or chicken is amazing. Then what? And then you're, oh, he's done answering the questions. You don't know. Or the opposite will happen. Yeah, I love roast chicken. And, you know, yesterday I had... beef and steak and all this stuff. And then I'm going on and on and on, and I don't know how to end. So the way you end is you just say the same thing you said at the start. So that's why I had roast chicken yesterday. And you just put that cap at the end and people know you finished talking and it sounds like a statement. So point, reason, point. And if you want to expand that, it could be point, reason, example, point, or point, story, point. You can have whatever meat you want in the middle. I like point, story, point, just because I've had entire keynotes that I've done with just point, story, point. So we'll have two. 10 minutes of, I'm going to teach you this, here's a story, here's a format, next story, repeat. And you can do that for 30 minutes, an hour, however long you want. Okay. So let's go back to the same event that I was talking about. Let's say now I know that I want to talk about content strategies, let's say 10 videos, like what transformation that I'm expecting that they will know what 10 videos that they could make by the end of this session is over. So what should be my foundation of this speech? Yeah. So now we have our messages and how long will this? talk be? Let's say 15-20 minutes. Okay, 15-20 minutes, I would probably have no more than two messages in there. Okay. Is it a technical speech? Does it have a story in it? See, the thing is that I don't like to give a lot of technical speech. Okay. I like to keep it a little more, you know, casual. Yeah. So that people are able to also get a little inspired and motivated, but also at the same time get a few things out of it. Do these people know you and your credibility? Yes. Okay. What I would do, I would start off by talking. about what big problem you had and how you implemented the things that you're gonna teach them in that problem and what result you got from that and you would wrap that whole thing around a story so then you don't have to tell a story and then tell the point separately you can ingrain those points in there so for example you can say I was trying to launch a business I was making content here and there I just wouldn't get any business I was spending all day every day I hired a videographer did all this stuff nothing was working until I found these three things and this is what you're gonna have to write down so the first thing that I did was blah blah blah blah second thing the thing. And once I implemented them, then you talk to them about where they're at now and what's possible for them. So one of the most difficult things for anyone to crack in any speech that they want to give is how to start. Right. So if I were to start this, how would I start this? Ask yourself, what can I say to which they would want to know the answer? And you don't give them the answer. Curiosity hook. You create gap instantly. So the way I would do this, and we did this in our workshop. I say, I grew up with severe social anxiety, and I had no idea how to talk to people. And 10 years later, I'm coaching some of the biggest CEOs in the world on public speaking. So how did I go from social anxiety to coaching people on public speaking, and how can you do the same thing? We're going to talk about that today. Oh, this is good. So it's like, and your audience has to resonate with what you're going to talk about then. You create a gap, and then you fill it in. Fill in the gap. And then you go all the way to the start. So 10 years ago when I started doing XYZ, and then you build up to that moment. So in my. case i could say that i grew up as an introvert you can okay yeah and five years down the line yeah i'm the kind of i have over 800 000 followers right i never imagined an introvert could speak in front of millions of people and today i'm going to tell you how you can become yeah today you're going to pick up is better phrasing i found today today yeah as they're there, I found there's a big difference between, and sometimes I make this mistake too, today I'm going to talk about this versus today you're going to learn this. Very subtle. Today you're going to walk away with the three exact things that I did to get a million followers. So, okay. So this is even more specific and more specific and you're making it more you focused, then I'm going to talk about this thing. Okay. So I'm talking like, this is what you're going to learn today is a better way to say, instead of saying that today, what I'm going to talk about is, yeah. Okay. Then it becomes. comes about you exactly and it's a discussion and i don't know what the takeaway is yeah i'm going to talk about how i got to a million followers versus today you're going to pick up the three exact techniques i use to get to a million followers that you can do different phrasing but it just resonates yeah yeah because now i'm curious as an audience that okay now i'm going to learn something how can i also grow to that the incentive is right at the beginning my my coach craig valentine one of his best opening speeches was when i was in prison Visiting It's genius. It's genius. It gets their attention and it makes them laugh and when you make them laugh right away There's also trust builds. It doesn't have to be a long speech, but a couple of words can do the trick Okay, so I think this is a great segue towards your, you know, you getting into impromptu comedy also. Got it, yeah. I want to talk about that because I feel comedy is such an important skill. to develop, no matter if you're a public speaker, even if you are creating content. And you started recently, when we spoke about it, that you started learning about comedy. Right. I suck at it. You and I both, my friend. So here's the thing. I realized with stand-up comedy, I never wanted to be a comedian. I just wanted to make my content a little bit more entertaining. That's why I went into it. But I realized the people who were the funniest were the people who were the least polished. Yeah, they were just themselves. They were fumbling around on stage. They had no idea what to say. And I would go on stage and I would say these really well thought out jokes and my voice was loud and I was extremely polished. And every time the feedback I got was, yeah, it was well written, but it sounded like a speech. Yeah. And it was so disheartening because this is what I've trained for my whole life. How do I get out of this speech? Yeah, you have always focused in, you know, saying it perfectly. Comedy is like you have to. It's very different. It's very different. And to be completely honest with you, I never got to the point where I got really good at it. I got to the point where I discovered all the things that weren't working, but I didn't stick to it long enough to figure that out. But I've learned the biggest lesson stand-up comedy taught me was the importance of not being polished. And that's the exact opposite of everything I was teaching my clients. Like, hey, no filler words, perfect gesture, everything like that. People don't relate to you. People relate to stand-up comedians. You can learn from them, right? Because they sound like real human beings. So when I came back from that, I realized it's okay to have a couple of filler words. It's okay to not have the perfect gesture. It's okay to look down every now and then. So ultimately, even though I went to learn comedy, it made me a much more real public speaker, a much more authentic public speaker. Yeah. Who is your favorite comedian? Sebastian Menescalco. He is Italian. I'm Italian-American and he's just, his personality is just like mine because he just complains about the smallest things and He's just like me, where if I'm at an airport and someone's doing some weird thing, I can't focus on my life. I just get really annoyed by what they're doing. So someone's arguing over some small thing, like, just move on already. You know, why do you have to take out everyone's time? Is this a big enough deal? So his whole comedy is about that, and I just love it. So what did you learn when you were learning about comedy? This is one thing that you, because you being a public speaking specialist, this was completely opposite to your... what you have learned. You have to give more pauses and especially when we are told in public speaking that you know reduce ums and ahs, this plays a very important role in comedy. Yeah and the funny thing in comedy is you use the ums and ahs as these comedic triggers so they're useful. In public speaking there isn't always that need for that. Can you give an example of this ums and ahs in comedy? If I had a clean joke that I could share with you, I probably would, but... Even if it is not clean, it doesn't matter. Yeah, I'm wondering... If I had my script in front of me, I'd probably be able to tell you better, but if you look at any of Matt Rive's clips... Oh, yeah. Because he recently had a segment where he talked about hiring video editors, and he said now he doesn't. He has to edit them himself, because he knows what he planted in the bit, and the editor doesn't. So he leaves the silences in there, the uhs in there, because he knows it's important to the joke. Yeah. Right? With public speaking, however, that's not always the case. You don't always have filler words in there to add credibility. That's a more comedy-central approach. Yeah, and it also comes with that confidence somewhere that, you know, the reason why I have done this uhs and ums is I've planted it deliberately. Yeah. In comedy. Yeah. But when we are doing public speaking... Why would you do it? Why would you deliberately, especially if you're talking about communication and public speaking and you have your vocabulary is littered with ums and uhs and you knows. Once every now and then it's okay to sound human, but if you're just doing it constantly, then it takes away from your credibility. Yeah. So what's the way to overcome ums and uhs? Funny enough, I have a lot of clients come to me for exactly this and it's the thing that takes the least amount of time. It's a lot like, I describe it like, let's say you've got poor posture. You're always bent over like this and I just tell you hey just pay attention to your posture Even if I don't tell you to straighten your back if I just say pay attention to your posture You'll straighten your back. Yeah, because now you're aware of it, right? Similarly with your filler words all I will tell my clients to do is hey when you speak just catch your filler words That's it. Don't try to change it. Just catch it and what will happen is in conversation They'll start catching it and they'll start to get frustrated with themselves. I just said it. I just said it And in about two to three days, when they start noticing it enough, eventually the word comes to their tongue, and then they stop. And then they stop because they're aware of it. Over six days to a week, usually they go away completely. You can do that, and you can expedite that process by, if you're making content or if you record yourself talking, just watch it back because you can't always tell you're saying it. Most people say it at the end of a sentence or combining words together or when they don't know what to say next. So, for example, yesterday I was working with a client. throughout the whole presentation and I asked him do you know the subject you're talking about he said no I said okay how about for the next five minutes just talk about something you know inside out not a single filler word it's because he was thinking of the next thing to say and he was uncomfortable with silence so if you're aware of what you're doing and you know the topic you're talking about those two things if you've got them handled the filler words go away hmm so the first most important thing is that you don't know what you're saying what you're talking about which in general for life. For life. If you open your mouth and you have no idea what you're talking about, maybe just keep it shut. Yeah, I think this is also something really important and you and I, we have spoken earlier also, that preparation is really important for any public speaking event. Just don't go with the, you know, oh, I have an event coming up and okay, so I'll just say a few things here and there and not prepare for it. Yeah. The amount of people I know at the highest level who do this because they think they're really good, but they're not. And the issue is, because they're so high up there, no one has the guts to tell them they suck. Yeah, that's true. And they're the ones, because I coach these CEOs. I know what they sound like. And they hire me because they're like, yeah, I'm giving these talks to my clients and for some reason they're not really inspired and they don't really feel riled up when I talk. And I listened to them. I said, because it was boring as shit. It was dry. Are you always honest with them like this? Very honest. I have to. They're paying me for my perspective. So if I'm not... Or you certainly say that. No, I'm very, very direct. So I have a way, a specific format I do it. So let's say I get you to talk and you give me your speech. And I'll ask you before that, so what do you want me to feel when you talk? I want you to feel inspired. I want you to feel motivated. I said, okay, great. Talk. And they'll talk. And I'll say, okay, great. So you wanted me to feel inspired. How do you think you did? And then they'll tell me, yeah, I think it really is going to be a good job. How did you think I did? I didn't feel inspired at all. And then they realize, I don't have awareness on what I'm doing. I don't even know I'm boring. I don't even know I'm not inspiring. And for them, that's okay. I need an extra perspective to help me and then I can come in and train them how to do that. So many times they have these blinds, these holes in their speaking and their stories that no one else will tell them about and a professional like myself has to come in. Do they also approach you for body language or bodily communication? They don't approach me for it, but sometimes they tell me the overarching problem. Like, I'm really nervous and people can tell. Or I don't look confident. Why is that? And then I have a process I do called a baseline process where I'll put them on the spot, I'll give them questions right away and I'll see what the reptilian mind does. How do they respond in the moment? Because if I tell you prepare a 30-minute presentation and deliver it to me, you're more controlled, you know what to look out for. But if it's on the spot, you can't control your behaviors, right? And then I get to see all the scratching and the hands behind the wall. Yeah, yeah, so here's the thing that I want to do. And I can see those patterns. And sometimes, certain topics will bring up more discomfort than others. Then I know, OK, you don't really know a lot about this topic, do you? How did you know that? Because I saw a lot more movement in that topic. So I'll help them dissect that and fix that. So do you specifically pay attention to what they're doing, body language, these non-verbal cues is what we usually talk about? Not only that, but I will watch their speech with them on mute. And I will say, pretend. You can't hear a single word of what this person is saying. You have no idea who they are. Just based on how their body is moving, rate their confidence out of 10. Rate whether you would want to click the play button and listen to them. And if they say no, okay, why not? Well, because the only thing moving is their mouth. Or their eyes are all over the place. Oh, isn't that interesting? Other people might be looking at you that way. So we try to isolate that. Let's just listen to the voice. Let's just listen to the content. Let's just listen to the body language. And most people don't realize this. You speak more with your body than you do with your mouth. And you speak first with your body before you speak with your mouth. So you can, I'll give you a perfect example. I once attended this public speaking contest and I was in the audience. And I was sitting with this woman. And speakers are getting ready to step on stage. A speaker spoke and stepped off stage. The next person is getting mic'd up. And the speaker had a bright blue jacket and a red mohawk. You don't see that a lot. And as they're getting mic'd up to get on stage, the person next to me... Ah, I guess this is going to be a good one. And in the back of my mind, I realized she already made a conclusion about the speaker before they even said a word, based on how they look, based on how they presented themselves. Now, who knows? Maybe their topic was about creativity or saving children. Who knows, right? But we make conclusions about them based on what we see. And if we know that, why don't we incorporate some of those behaviors in our own life? as well. Interesting. So your bodily language matters a lot when you are, and this is what I've also seen with myself when you were talking about, you know, we speak with our bodies first. And like, even right now it comes so naturally to me also that, you know, I'll move my hands a lot when I'm talking. It also helps me to formulate the conversation. Yeah. Right. Like when I'm saying like now, when I'm talking to you, I'm also paying attention to my body language. See, Like when I'm moving my hand like this. It's synchronized. It's synchronized. It helps you to formulate the language also. But here's the thing. To me as a listener, you're both interesting to my ears and to my eyes. And because you're saying something and you're visually describing it, you're making it easier for my brain to process the information. So a perfect representation of this is if I said, an elephant was riding a bicycle in a green field with an orange sun in the back. It would take me a while to say this. It would also take you a while to follow the language and then picture in your mind. But if instead of saying this, I just showed you an image of an elephant riding a bicycle in the green field with an orange background, it would take you less than a second to process it. So information is delivered faster when it's done visually as well. One other example of celebrity who does that, he speaks a lot with his body, is Keanu Reeves. Have you seen any of his speeches? Yeah, quite a few. Him, Simon Sinekum, I'm the one, lots of hand movements. It depends on what message you want to get across. Now, just because you should be using your body doesn't mean you should always be using it. Because it could come across frantic. I've had some people who, yeah, so one of the things that I did was, with our business, we can do this for you and that for you and this for you. Don't you feel... Slow down. Exactly. So, I'm sure you've had... You want water? A salesperson trying to sell you their program or their whatever it is. They're so eager that the body is moving so much. This franticness shows that you haven't done this enough, and this is new for you. So let's say if I'm a doctor, right? Strange example. I've given you many strange examples today, but pretend like you come to me and you say, hey, I've got back pain, right? Just say, hey, I've got back pain. What should I do? I've got a back pain. What should I do? Great. So I've got this medication here. This one, it has L, O, and D cap. These three things are very good for your back pain. Take this today and then try it out, and it's going to be amazing. It'll really help you out. How did you feel? I don't want to come to this doctor again. But I had the volume, I had the body language, I was moving around a lot. This is not what I'm expecting from a doctor. Exactly. But here's the thing. There is a time and place to be a boring speaker. So if you came to me and you said... Say it again. I have a back pain from last night. Yeah, that happens a lot. We've had a couple of clients who took, we gave them this medication. It has L, O, and D, caffeine in it. Try taking one a week, and let's just see in a month what that does. Which one would you trust more? This guy. But isn't it boring? Isn't it lacking body language and voice? It is comforting. It's composed. Composed. So when you want to come across as someone who knows what they're talking about, you have to be calm and relaxed. So sometimes when people are, oh, I got to use more body language, they move a lot, but then it comes across a little too eager. So yes, use your body as long as you use it in a controlled and composed fashion. That's the difference. Yeah. And also, like, also helps me to... you know, get the idea that, okay, I am in safe hands. I mean, if I'm coming to a doctor and if he's all frantic, I mean, like, dude, I'm frantic. Why are you being frantic? I'm even more anxious than I was before. And also, when someone has done something so many times, it is no longer exciting. If you solve the same problem a thousand times, for example, someone will come to you, hey, Sahas, how do I make an Instagram story? It's so... So basic to you, you just open your camera and press this button and you tell the story. You're not going to say, yeah, pull out your phone and click the story because it's so second nature to you. So in a way, when you're a very boring speaker, a matter of fact speaker, it shows you have conviction and expertise. And that's something people don't think about when they say, I want to be a good public speaker. Well, maybe for you, a good public speaker means having more conviction and talking slower and in a more calm way. Dude, this is a masterclass in a lot of ways. A lot of things today. There's a lot here. A lot of air. But I still want to have a little bit more discussion on nonverbal cues. Okay. Like, for example, if I'm going for a networking event or, you know, if I'm trying to, you know, put myself out there and speak to other people, what kind of nonverbal cues that I should look for in the other individual so that I should know whether I'm making them comfortable or uncomfortable? You said it just now, comfortable or uncomfortable. Joe Navarro has a fantastic. book called What Everybody is Saying. And he's a former FBI agent. He talks about body language. And he dissects all behaviors into two categories, which is comfort and discomfort. So if I, let's say you're talking to me right now, and the entire conversation, I'm folding my hands like this. Some people say, well, if you've got your arms folded, that means you're defensive, or you're lying, or you're uncomfortable. What if I'm just cold? What if I just like talking like this, right? Matter of fact. What if you and I are talking like this the entire time for half an hour? And you say, so Yasir, how much do you make? Yeah, I make like $100,000. Now you can tell something in my body language changed. And now I'm trying to make myself more comfortable. So that doesn't tell you that I'm lying or I'm not telling the truth. It just tells you whatever you ask me, it's agitated me a little bit. So reading body language is about picking up enough of these cues and then putting it in. image together of what's most likely to happen. If I'm completely comfortable and you say, so what time did you come home last night? Oh, I came back 9, 9.30 PM. And all of a sudden I'm moving. It doesn't mean I'm lying, but maybe I'm ashamed of the fact that I came home late. Maybe I'm not sure. Maybe I blacked out drunk. Who knows? So you collect these signs and then you make a conclusion. So there is a little something fishy about it or something. Yeah. Why is this person suddenly uncomfortable with this question? Why? Why are they suddenly uncomfortable with this line of questioning? What are they doing? And I'll tell you, just basing whether they're telling the truth on the body language is not enough, because people can be telling you the truth, but it might be uncomfortable for them to say the truth. So let's say... Have you done this before? If you were trying to hire me. Yeah, yeah, we've done this many, many times before. We've had several clients. We helped them with their content and they got really good results. Now, I'm scratching myself constantly doing all these things. You might be thinking, well, this guy's getting nervous all of a sudden. Maybe he hasn't done it. But what could be happening is I'm just really nervous because I don't know how to answer that question, not because I'm lying about my experience. Yeah, this is really important. Because a lot of people say that, you know, when you have, when you start scratching your nose, it might be because you're lying. And this could also be because of the sign of nervousness. It could be many things. So I'll tell you, when I'm usually having a conversation with someone, you can't tell, but my leg is tapping like this almost the entire time. And if I was in an FBI interrogation and someone saw that, they will think that I'm guilty of whatever it is they're talking to me about. But the truth is, I have ADHD. I have to keep moving. I can't sit still, right? Constantly there has to be a movement. So the way we interpret other people's behavior has to be, it has to be very open-ended. It has to have a lot of room for mistakes because if we just say, when I asked him this question, he scratched his nose, he's guilty, we could be completely wrong and then form false assumptions about people. So it's just about how many signs have they given us and is there any incongruency between what they're telling us and what they're doing. Because sometimes the voice changes, sometimes you try to dodge the question. And then you can put the pieces together and just say, okay, how likely is it that they're not telling the truth? And you combine that with what they're saying, and over time you can figure it out. But remember, there's no... I think the thing people want to hear is, people do this, it means this. People do that, it means that. There's no such thing. Anyone who says that is lying. It's not black and white. No. It so much comes from person's own personality as well. Because for me, because I remember, you know, we did that public speaking event together. And before that, I posted a video where you reacted about my posture. Where in one of the videos, where I was being interviewed, and I'm sitting like this all the time, and I'm giving a story. So when I came to Canada, I went to Eaton Centre and I heard a gunshot. I remember. And I'm talking all like this. And you explained that, about that. You know, my body language was all like that. I wasn't, it wasn't that I wasn't comfortable talking about it. It was just that I feel comfortable just sitting like this. Yeah, and that's okay. That's fine. Some people say the same thing about crossed legs. Or this person had their legs crossed the entire time. They must be uncomfortable or they don't want to interact with you. What if I'm just comfortable doing that? But there are some signs I've seen. You talked about networking events where if you're talking to someone and they're constantly angled away from you like this and they're talking to you as if you're to the side. Their body wants to move. Okay. And they're almost held hostage because they don't know how to exit the conversation. They're really trying. Did you do that? That's me. Yeah, like, yeah, really, really good. Yeah, amazing meeting you. I have such a short span of attention that, you know, I constantly have to remind myself, this is interesting, this is interesting, this is interesting. Yeah. I've had a change of heart on that. Okay. We were talking about body language, but I'll pivot a little bit. Because I was learning social skills, I wanted to fit in and get people to like me, right? But so many times I would be in conversations, like in Canada, talking about hockey, talking about politics and baseball. I don't know anything about these subjects. And I would sit with these local people and they're talking about, oh, did you watch the game yesterday? And I'm thinking, oh my God, what game? What sport? What player? What was the score? And I'm Googling the thing. Okay, let me say something to add to the conversation. And I would do everything in my power to have something to contribute, but it took me forever to learn I don't have to be a part of that conversation. Maybe it's just not my people. Maybe I don't have to fit in. And I had these conversations all the time where someone will, I shouldn't say this, but there's certain terms that people say that really piss me off. Like, if someone says, I want to do this one day, eventually, I'm thinking about doing this. I don't know what it is. It just pisses me off because I know that they've got a vague goal way in the future. They have no intention of doing it right now. So when I meet people like that, I feel like I don't connect with them as well. And I make a decision quite preemptively. Okay, these are not my people. I don't need to try to probe them and try to convince them to go after their dreams. I've decided, okay, maybe I don't have to contribute to this. That's okay. So a big realization I've had is you don't have to be a part of every conversation. Yeah, I did this once. Like I was a part of one networking group. I was called in for to be part of the panel. Yeah. I had an interaction with a few people and I thought this is not the kind of people that I want to interact with. I literally. went out. I left the networking. You self-filtered. I'm like, these are not the kind of people that I want to be with. I'm sorry, but I mean, you guys are good together, but this is not my jam. And I can't relate or resonate with you the way that you are talking. The most extreme example I can give you of this is very extreme, but I once saw an ad for a meditation class. I said, oh, this sounds amazing. Let me show up. So I went to the meditation class and I was surprised by the demographic. Everyone there, except me, was a pregnant woman. And the instructor shows up, and they're doing meditation, and here's how to stress yourself down when you're feeling that ache in your stomach. This is what you do. I'm like, what ache in my stomach? I'm not going to have it. What's going on? And then when the meditation class ended, OK, so remember, folks, we have our thing next week. I went back outside, and I saw the poster. It said, beginners meditation for new moms. And I was like, oh my god. So this room wasn't meant for me. It was for new moms. I was in the wrong room. right? So obviously you won't make as big of a mistake as I would, but learn to recognize when you're not in the right room. So it's not a reflection of your communication skills or your social skills. Maybe these people are just not for you. Yeah. So we talked about body language. Now let's talk about confidence. Okay. How can we come across confident when we are approaching to some person? So this is a topic that I've thought about for most of my life because I didn't have that confidence, right? And I've only recently come across a definition of speaking with confidence. My definition of speaking with confidence is when you are speaking about something you believe. Do you believe in what you are saying? Because it's very, very difficult to talk about something you don't believe. Now, this doesn't have to be a value or a concept. It can also be the sequence in which your words are coming out of your mouth. So, for example, you've gone to networking events. And if someone asked you, tell me about yourself, there's a little bit of nervousness that comes your way, right? And the next week when you go to another networking event. and you get the same question asked, I guarantee you your answer will be different. So you're making up the answer every single time, even though no one knows more about you than you. Your confidence will be a lot lower because you don't quite believe in the sequence of words coming out of your mouth. Does that make sense? So for most people, it's a mix of how can I believe in what I'm talking about and how can I believe in the sequence of words coming out of my mouth? And because they don't prepare and practice, they don't sound confident, even though they might be industry experts. So that's... So then the question is, what are questions or topics I talk about very often, and how can I have some sort of answers already formulated for that? So for example, ask me a little bit about, so Yasir, tell me about what you do. I'm gonna give you a really bad answer. So Yasir, what do you do? Yeah, I do a lot of things. I make videos on Instagram. I'm a public speaking coach, by the way. I coach CEOs and executives. I coach many teams. I also have a TikTok. I've got many videos. Sometimes I make videos on analyzing different... speakers and I also make videos on public speaking tips. And yeah, you know, I'm from Pakistan originally. Oh, okay. Now be honest. Have you heard? Nothing. Have you heard an answer like that before? Yeah, a lot of times. And in fact, I would say most of your answers that you hear, are you going to be like that? Yeah. But what does this tell you about me? I don't know how to talk about myself. Yeah. Do I sound confident in what I do? Yeah. Right. So ask me one more time. So Yasir, what do you do? So I'm Yasir, I'm a public speaking coach, and I coach CEOs, and I make them feel like they're speaking like a CEO. So when they step on stage, other people see them as a speaker who is confident, who speaks with clarity and credibility. Interesting. Tell me more. Now I've said this a million times over, that's why I can do it. But can you tell how the quality of the answer is also going to determine how you perceive me now? And I'll sound more confident when I do that just because I've said it. Yeah. So most people don't have these basic stories down. And they're not that hard. It takes you two minutes to write down on a piece of paper. So if you're going to a networking event, you're going to a job interview, guess what questions you'll get asked. Tell me about yourself. What do you do? Why are you excited about this? But we don't know the answer. Yeah, I usually call it as a positioning statement. So for example, like recently this activity that we did with our cohort also that before even talking about the content that you want to create, create the positioning statement that you want people to know and recognize you the moment when they hear the statement. So it has to be that, you know, you are this, and this is what you will help the other person feel or do in order to get the transformation done. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Like, for example, I would say that my name is Ahaz and I create content that makes you smarter. Right. If I want to add a little more, I'm also a founder of a media agency which gets billions of views for our clients. There you go. So similarly, I think this is one statement that, you know in the movie making, for any poster... that used to get launched or any first movie trailer is launched, there is always a logline. There's a term by the name of logline, which means that define this movie in one or two statements. Oh, I see. And that example I always take in my, you know, my field of business also and for the clients that we are working with. What would that logline be about your content or your business? It's like your offer. What am I going to get out of this movie? So like, you know, you have seen Top Gun. Yeah. So you will say this kid out of this and, you know, gets into an aviation and what? What turns out to be is something that he never expected. You create a kind of a curiosity in that logline. And then people want to watch that trailer, want to watch that movie. So your statement is what you're talking about is also similar to that. Speak like a CEO is my tagline. It tells you everything you need to know. It's an interesting example you gave of the movies. If you think of The Dark Knight Rises. One of the phrases that I still remember from a movie is, Bruce, why do we fall? So we can learn to pick our. ourselves back up again. So earlier when we talked about having that message in a speech, you also do that in movies. And see, you remember that message from the movie, right? You might have forgotten some of the minor details, but that message sticks long term. Same with Game of Thrones. Exactly. So many. What is that? Lannisters don't pay their debts. And then chaos is a ladder. What is it? Not don't pay their debts. Lannisters always. Always pay their debts. I'm screwing up every quote in this podcast so far. But yeah, Lannisters always pay their debts. They have all of these quotes that you remember and you tell other people. Well. I'll give you an example of this. I think this will help. With confidence, there's also another element of, sure, I'm confident, but I want myself and my message to be memorable. I want people to remember what I said and how I made them feel. I had such a powerful thing happen to me many years ago. I once did a workshop for public speaking. And people would come in and they would participate. I would bring them up on stage, get them to speak, that kind of thing. And there's this one woman walked in and she sat right at the back. back by herself in the corner. And I could tell she was a little shy, she didn't want to participate. I said, okay, whatever. We did the workshop, never thought about it again. Then I did the next workshop again, and the same woman showed up and she sat exactly in the same exact place, right at the back. Now I'm thinking maybe she has some sort of anxiety and she's scared, should I go and talk to her? I don't know. Okay, let's just leave her alone. She looks like she's just here to watch. And then I bring other people up, everyone's having a great time. And then she leaves, never talks to anyone. The third time I do the workshop. she comes up there again. And this time when I'm looking for participants, usually I say, hey, raise your hand and come up here. I said, you know what? I feel like she needs that extra kick. If I just bring her on stage, I can make her a better public speaker. So I said, hey, I've seen you here a couple of times. Can I just give you a question and you can come up here and just speak? And everyone just said, yeah, that's a good idea. And there's a little bit of social pressure being built up. So I said, don't worry, I'll ask you an easy question. And this is the only question that came to mind. I said, tell me. Tell me about the last time you kissed someone. And she slowly got up. She's looking around. You can tell she's anxious. She's looking at the floor the entire time. It takes her a minute just to walk to the stage. I shake her hand and I sit back down. And the audience is looking at her to perform, which is very similar to how I was when I started, right? So she stands there for 10 seconds, 15 seconds. 30 seconds, a whole minute passes by. People are looking around like, is she okay? Like, is she panicking? What's happening? And someone's giving me a sign. Hey, man, like you should get her off the stage. Now I'm feeling guilty that I brought her up. So just when I'm getting off the chair, she finally looks up at the audience and says, my last kiss would have been to my grandma right before she passed. And then she sat back down. One single sentence. And I had tears in my eyes then, I have tears in my eyes now telling that story. But what it taught me was, it doesn't matter how many words you say, it doesn't matter what the filler words are, it doesn't matter what the gestures are, if you can make me feel something in that moment, all of the other public speaking techniques go out the window. None of that matters. And it's been about 10 years now since and I'm still telling you that story. And it was one single sentence. That's it. So this is what I tell people. If you want to be memorable, you want people to remember you. Don't focus on the tips and techniques, which admittedly today we've done. We've talked a lot about that. Focus on the story, the message, and the feeling. How can you make someone feel because they won't forget that? And I've had this happen so many times. And it's a constant reminder to me that don't just focus on the vocabulary. Focus on how you make people feel. Yeah, this was a showstopper kind of a moment. For me too. And I've had many experiences like that where I thought I was the expert, where, oh, I'm going to teach you something. But in return, they teach me something. And I'll finish with this. This happened last week, another incident. I usually coach people who are very well off. These people are making millions and millions of dollars and they pay me a lot of money. But there's this big... disconnect for me because when I got into this, I didn't have money, I was a student and I needed someone's help. So I can't help the very people who are most like me. So I started doing these free workshops in Toronto where people could come in and I would coach them on public speaking. And one of the women who joined, she was a midwife and a midwife, I didn't know what a midwife was, but she helps people deliver babies at the hospital and she takes care of them, right? And she came and she said, Yasir, I'm really talking to people because my English is not very good. She was an immigrant. And I'm not a good speaker. I have to train the staff and train the patients about what to expect when they're delivering. And I just don't know how to do that. So I said, okay, I'll train you. I brought her up to the front. Very similarly, I said, okay, I'm going to give you a topic, which is not the last time you kiss someone, but just tell us what a midwife is. And she spoke for maybe 20 seconds. And I was like, do you feel any hesitation? She's like, yeah, I'm a little, I don't know how to talk about this. my English is not strong. I said, okay. I thought about how to help her in that moment. I said, how about this? Instead of worrying about the volume and the English and whatever, can you think of anything that's happened in your job that's really memorable to you? And she said, yeah, one comes to mind. I said, okay, just tell us that story. And then she started telling us about a story where There was a woman who gave birth while she was working. And when the baby was born, the baby wasn't breathing. So for the next 25 minutes, the doctors and everyone was trying to give CPR and trying to get this baby back to life, and it just wouldn't work. So eventually there came a point where they looked at her and said, unfortunately, we have to call it and just do the due diligence, the procedure, and write it down. And whatever has to happen has to happen. The doctor took the gloves off and headed out. And the mother. mother was obviously just crying hysterically in that moment. So this woman, the one who came to my workshop, she was there as the nurse. She went back to the baby and continued doing CPR for another 15 minutes until the baby started breathing. And then the next day, not only was the baby breathing, but the baby was being breastfed. That happened on a Friday. And then the doctors came back on Monday. And they said, what is this? Which baby is this? Like, oh, this is the baby we deliver on Friday. And they're like, I don't understand. What happened? And then the mother just pointed to her. She's like, she. He spent 15 extra minutes to bring my baby back to life. And then she wrapped up the story by saying, I believe in what I'm doing, and that's why I try to go above and beyond. What I realize is sometimes going above and beyond... can be the difference between life and death. So if you're at work, you can be working in insurance, you can be working in content creation, go above and beyond because that might be the difference for someone else. And she said that and everyone in the workshop was completely. speechless. And I went up to her and said, you have no problem with public speaking. You just didn't believe in yourself. You just didn't give yourself permission to tell those stories. And she was so confused after that workshop. She's like, I'm not sure what I learned today. And then she sent me a long email saying, this is the first time in my life someone's told me I'm actually good at something. And I didn't know that I already had all the ammunition. I already had all the stories that I can motivate people. I just didn't know I could use it. And I was like, I don't know. So it's those stories where people come in that teach me where I feel good about the work that I'm doing and going the extra mile. Dude, this is like, see, I think this is also because of somewhere, you know, content creation. That, you know, you get to hear so many stories of people who come to you and say that, you know, this specific thing, which you said, helped me change my life or change my perspective. And I... So sometimes this also happens with me when, you know, when I, when somebody, you know, gets something crazy success, which they never expected. And they reach out to me and they said, I've been following you from this long. And, you know, this happened and I just wanted to say thank you and all that. And at that moment, and I think it's not me. Yeah. It was all the way. It was you. Maybe I was a catalyst who flared or instigated the flare, which was already burning, but it was all the way you. I. I just opened some hole into that, into your soul, which you were able to just, you know, explore the possibilities that you could get into. You said something really pivotal here. My coach taught me this. He said, put the process on the pedestal and not the person. Put the process on the pedestal. So instead of Sahas helped me do this, Sahas taught me X, Y, Z, that helped me do it. And the reason this is so pivotal is because you don't want your audience to think you're special. Yeah. Yeah. And it's crazy in the world of public speaking because that's all we want. Yeah. I want people to think, I'm good, I'm amazing, I'm confident. Yeah. But the moment they say, wow, they're so good, I wish I was like them. There's an immediate separation where, I wish I was more like them. Whereas what you want them to feel like, Sahas is just like me. Yeah. He followed this process to become this person. Maybe I can too. And that's what always leaves me not being able to do it. motivated in my own content or anything that I do that, you know, if that has, if somewhere he or she has been able to relate with me in some way and they were able to achieve that success for themselves, it's like anything is possible. Yeah. Yeah. And I've given you a lot of stories. I feel like I've, let's close out with this last one. I feel like this will be the most beneficial one. Okay. We've talked about confidence. We've talked about body language. All of it can come across if you truly believe in what you're talking about. There was a client of mine. Her name is Shannon Klingman. She's the founder of a brand called Lumi Deodorant. And the most passionate person I have ever met in my entire life. When I first got on a call with her, I did not want to work with her. Not because she's a bad person, because I was full. I was out of capacity. So I told my coach, Jeff. I said, Jeff, can you take her on? And she said, no. I saw Yoss's video. videos. I want to work with you. I said, Jeff said, listen, I spoke to her. Trust me. You want to get on the phone with her. Now, immediately there's some influence she had on him, right? So when I got on a call with her, I said, yes. Okay. What do you need help with? She said, I've got the speech coming up, big company presentation. I need your help with it. Let's make it happen. And she didn't mention pricing or anything like that, but I just did not want to do it. So I said, okay, just so you know, I charged $5,000. And in my mind, I thought, wow, this is a huge amount of money. and I'll never forget what she said. She said, that's it? And then she said, do you do this full time? So I was confused. I didn't know what was happening, right? But then she said, Yasser, I watch your videos. I know you're really good. Why are you only charging this much money? Now the discussion turned from how can I help her to her helping me with my pricing. So I said, hey, listen, let's just start out. I'm a little insecure. Let me help you, and then we'll see. So after the first session, after I helped her, she got on a call with me for two hours just to coach me in my mindset. And she said, yeah, sir. I see something in you that you don't see in yourself. You need to start doing that with other people. Because when you coach people, you need to start seeing more in them than they see them in themselves. So a lot like what I did with this lady who came to the workshop, who had the stories, all I did was believe in her. And all Shannon did for me was she believed in me. And she said, okay, here's what I want you to do. Next person you hop on a call with, the number you put out there is 10,000 and it only goes up from there. And everything in my body, like who's gonna pay 10,000? Are you out of your mind? Next call I got on with some 19 year old kid from Saudi Arabia. I said, this is not a qualified lead for me. There's no way in hell. I didn't wanna work with him. So I said, hey, it's $10,000. It's probably not in your budget. Yeah, no problem. Where are you getting $10,000? Oh, the government's paying for it. Don't worry about it. And then we started working together and then all of those beliefs started to go. So then I realized because Shannon, the way she talked to me, she had so much conviction, so much belief, and she saw something in me that I didn't see in myself. I believed her. And because I believed her, because I was influenced by her, my whole life changed. Now imagine if you have that ability to, to speak with conviction, to speak with influence. How many more lives can you change? Not with just how you speak, but with your content, with what you do for a living. Dude, this is... A mic drop. These are people who've changed my life and... And hopefully they can change other people's lives too. I'm pretty sure this conversation is going to inspire so many people. Thank you. I appreciate you. I'm glad. All right, brother. Love having you. I'm doing episode two. This one works out well. I'm pretty sure that we are going to have. I feel like we should have saved some of these stories. Comment. Comment on the comment section if you want Yasser again for the next one. If not, then don't comment. Don't comment. No, still comment.