i'm dr orion taraban and this is psych hacks better living through psychology and the subject of today's short talk is the sexual double standard so basically the sexual double standard is that it is acceptable or considered a positive for a man to have multiple sexual partners but that is unacceptable or considered a negative for a woman to have multiple sexual partners now i believe this is a real thing it is a double standard and it does exist in reality and i believe that a lot of this double standard is culturally determined but not in the way that most people think and i'm going to explain what i mean by that using the framework of behavioral economics it kind of goes like this the outcome that can be accomplished through no action will always be valued less than the outcome that can only be achieved through the application of skill and effort this is inherently true people don't become better richer stronger etc by doing nothing they generate value through the application of effort and skill reasonable enough right now let's apply this principle to the topic under consideration if a man does nothing he does not have sex the average guy can sit alone at a bar day after day week after week month after month and he will be approached by no one not complaining because there are pros and cons to this just stating the fact to my knowledge no culture in human history has ever celebrated male virginity and i think it's for this reason a man can do nothing and remain a virgin so it can't really be celebrated for a man to acquire a sexual partner which is to say for a man to be sexually selected by a woman this requires more effort and skill than we are generally than we generally would like to admit both in the short-term process of seduction and in the long-term process of mate selection now compare this with the experience of a woman how long would she be able to sit alone at a bar undisturbed now i'm not saying that she'll be approached by the person she would prefer to be approached by however i am saying that she will likely be approached by someone sooner as opposed to later in fact some women are prepositioned both in direct and indirect ways many times a day every day of their lives surrendering to every man who would have her doesn't require as much skill and effort as say appropriately filtering her options and discerning the high value men who might be the best investments of her inherently limited time and energy and discernment is a skill that requires some experience and let's say social savviness because it requires effort and skill not to believe every tom dick and harry who crosses her path with a proposition value is created in a woman's reticence so the situation is reversed for men action is generally required to make something happen and for women inaction is needed to prevent the squandering of her resources and this is especially true for people in their 20s when a lot of pairing occurs and here's the kicker this isn't actually inherent to men and women per se rather it's a reflection of the observed distribution of perceived value and optionality behavioral economics for instance you'll find the same thing in business those with no money have to hustle to get it those with money have to find a way to resist squandering it on everyone with a two-bit investment opportunity who comes their way so the sexual double standard is largely cultural but not in the way that people think it's not simply a superficial attitude like a belief that can be changed with education and awareness it's deeply embedded in the rules that govern who approaches whom who propositions whom and who is valued for what and these rules probably aren't changing anytime soon until the day arrives when it is it is as easy for an average man to find a willing sexual partner as it is for a woman to find the same the sexual double standard will exist and it will exist because of behavioral economics the value added through effort and skill a key that can open any lock is a good key but a lock that any key can open is a bad lock so those are my two cents what do you think i understand that this can be a sensitive subject for people so please be respectful and tolerant in the comment section remember to subscribe and hit that like button for the algorithm and if you'd like to schedule a consultation you can reach me at psychexpodcast gmail.com thanks for listening