so ever since I posted my last video about the gamsat I have been bombarded by questions from fans saying do another gamat video and write an essay for us I want to see your structure how are you so brilliant just so many comments so many comments and I'm kind of now just like fine I'll do it I will film another video for you guys showing you exactly how to write an essay for the gamat or at least how I write my essays all right I mean twist my arm fine I'll do it I'll do it I'll do it and I'm like okay fine fine I guess I [Music] mean I'll do [Music] it a hard time if your motion is still let me move some things around because the is so welcome back to the channel guys my name is Kate Robson and couple weeks ago now I posted my first proper video about how I scored 80 in section two of the gamat for those who don't know the gamat is the famous test that gets you into medical school in Australia and a couple of other countries that use it and it's split up into three sections section one is reading comprehension section two which is the one that I'm focusing on because that's the one I did the best in um you have to write two essays the first one is Task a the second is Task B task a is kind of like plays into sociopolitical issues contemporary Society stuff like class race power history science that sort of thing all of our kind of non-fiction stuff and then task B is kind of plays more into personal issues personal stuff growth identity that sort of thing so I plan on making two videos in this series both about and showing you how I write my essays for the gam set using actual essays that I've written and have got marked that have both scored over 80 this video is going to be showing you how to do a task a essay and the next one will be about showing you how to do a task B essay make sure you watch both of them cuz they'll both really help you task B is kind of my stronger one so I would recommend that one as well and if you haven't seen my first video about how I scored 80 in section two of the gamat make sure you watch that one right here because that'll tell you everything you need to know preparation exam day tips just all of my tips all in one video so yeah make sure you check that one out in this video I'm going to show you guys one of the essays that I actually wrote in preparation for my gamat which scored an 85 for task a I got it marked by an actual tutor that I had access to at the time and he gave me an 85 since that Mark I've edited it using his suggestion so it may even be better than an 85 or maybe have messed it up and made it worse but it's definitely sitting somewhere around the mid to low 80s which will put you in the top 1% for an essay like that for section two this essay is on the topic of violence and kind of the antidote to violence I couldn't find all of the prompts that I responded to but I wrote down one of the prompts that I specifically responded to when you're responding to prompts I really suggest that you look through all of the prompts and you kind of try to find the underlying theme of all of them not just one of them because it kind of is a reductive approach to do that to you know have five brilliant prompts brilliant quotes from brilliant people and then just use one of them seems like a bit of a waste I sort of did that in this essay because it was very early on in my preparation I think it was actually like my first essay that I wrote but yeah I would really suggest going through all the prompts and trying to figure out an idea that way if you guys want me as well to post another video where I look at all the prompts try and analyze them deduce what they're saying please let me know in the comments below I'd be happy to do that because I know that in my preparation that was the hardest thing that I found to do was like actually coming up with an idea so let me know if you guys want to see that anyway yeah so this one is to do with violence specifically antidotes to violence and how we can solve the problem of violence and with task a essays I usually write an argumentative style essay just because I think they kind of play into the themes of the prompts a little bit better you can write a reflective or creative or whatever you want to on task a it's really up to you but what I found worked for me was an argumentative for task a and a reflective SLP personal one for task B in saying that with argumentative essays I used the structure of intro body body conclusion so I had four paragraphs all up with two body paragraphs you don't have to do that you can use three body paragraphs if you want to I just found that I liked that style a little bit more because I liked interweaving my counterarguments within my body paragraphs and coming up with counter Arguments for each of them within there but I've heard lots of people do intro body body counterargument paragraph and then conclusion it's really up to you what you want to do also a little disclaimer remember this is just how I write my essays you don't have to do the same thing perhaps you have an even better style that you want to use feel free to go use that and maybe even share it with other people with me I'd be really interested to know you can pop that stuff down in the comment section and start a discussion about what kind of structures you like the best why you think that structure works why you think my struct works or maybe it doesn't feel free to let me know I would love to hear that kind of stuff cuz I will be taking the Gams out again next year so anything helps so just an overview as well with my tone for my essays I always actually go for slightly informal more on the formal side than informal if it was a spectrum of formal and informal it would probably like be up here somewhere but I do like chucking in a couple of rhetorical questions in all of my essays some short Punchy sentences to really capture the reader's attention so not always like long detailed sentences but but incorporating short Punchy sentences that are slightly more informal with longer detailed formal sentences to have a nice balance just to try and make it a nice read for the marker all right so let's get stuck into it so we'll start with the introduction for all of my introductions I use pretty much a similar structure so I go hook context thesis and then limitations you don't have to use this structure again but I kind of found this one worked for me so if we look over to my computer screen now first of all we've got the quote up here so the quote that I responded to in this essay remember I'd probably respond to all five of them this time rather than having one particular one there but it's what I did at the time so we've got in such a world of conflict a well the victims and executioners it is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of executioners that's by Alba kamu so so you could interpret this in many ways really um reading that now kind of makes me think that of other ways to interpret it but at the time I kind of interpreted interpreted it as you know the world is full of conflict violence and all the other quotes were to do with violence as well in a world of victims and executioners so Albert kamu is saying that there are two types of people it's a job of thinking people that's a key word not to be on the side of execution of the executionist so when you read this you're kind of like okay well he's saying that it's the job of thinking people not to be on the side of execution and so you want to be on the side of Vic victims yes I kind of took that as like I agreed with that somewhat but then I took it one step further because I said not only do you not want to be on the side of the executioners but you want to to be a thinking person you have to act out of love and empathy and I'll get to my point in a second when I write my thesis all right so let's begin so we'll start with the hook and I think in this one I wrote a few line few sentences that could be classified as the hook let's see so I wrote the idea that violence forgets violence needs to be confronted throughout history this idea has ruled our world of conflict and competition life can often times seem to be constituted by an everlasting trail of conflict War famine political unrest pandemics how do we make it stop okay so the first sentence you can see is quite short and Punchy you can tell that I'm already going to be confronting violence the idea that violence begets violence it kind of captured the reader's attention in the very beginning and then it went on to discuss the context of that sentence so I'm saying then throughout history we've got a world of conflict and competition that's responding to the prompt as well and giving context to the hook then I say life can often times seem to be constituted by an everlasting trail of conflict that's true and we can all relate to that you don't need to know any specific examples to know about that then I say War famine political unrest pandemics how do we make it stop that sentence is quite a strong one because everyone's obviously experienced political unrest and a pandemic in the last couple of of years so it's also capturing the reader's attention by saying that then we say how do we make it stop which is quite quite informal but it gets to the point and there's also my rhetorical question there which is prompting the reader to ask themselves how do we make it stop how do we solve the problem of conflict and violence which I'll answer in the next sentence so I've really set myself up for showing the reader that they're going to be able to understand what I'm talking about because I've used examples that they would be aware of brought in a few different ideas the Hook's there to bring them in the context is there to explain the hook then the rhetorical question is to set up a question for my essay and a question for the reader All right so we move on it's becoming frighteningly clear in the 21st century that the world is in desperate need of a peaceful reform there you go I've answered that question I probably could have gone into more detail with what exactly the peaceful reform is but I think I'm going through that in the next sentence which is going to be my thesis so I would say that sentence is still kind of part of the context all right then we go into the thesis and you don't have to do it this way I say in this essay I will explore the idea that instead you might want to just say the cycle of violence and start it from there I found that doing that kind of kind of set the reader up to know that I'm about to say my thesis because I'm about to say exactly what I'm going to talk about okay so I say in this essay I will explore the idea that the cycle of violence is perpetuated throughout society and argue that overcoming its internal and political change will require the rationality of thinking people as Albert kamu put it not to be on the side of executioners you can see that I'm kind of talking about two ideas with that thesis so I say I'm talking about that the cycle of violence is perpetuated throughout Society that's first bit you can tell that that's going to be my first point so I'm signposting what my ideas are going to be then I say I'm going to argue that overcoming its internal and political chains will require the rationality of thinking people not to be on the side of execution is awesome so I've directly quoted the prompt you don't necessarily need to do that I did it and the marker kind of liked it in this case so you can if you want to honestly instead I actually could have talked about what my actual point is going to be which we'll get onto it later but it's actually acting out of love and empathy instead of violence and I may have missed the mark with just quoting The Prompt instead of actually hashing out what my idea was I go on to St State my limitations I say although this essay is limited in exploring the bioc psychosocial cause and effect of violence because I don't touch on that and I want them to be aware of that it suggests an antidote to the latter will be brought upon by the action of thoughtful individuals who choose empathy over violence Okay cool so you can say this sentence in a different way if you want to but the way I've done it is saying that it's kind of extending on from my thesis to say that I'm suggesting an antidote to violence and this is what the antidote is thoughtful individuals choosing empathy empathy instead of violence now I would say that's a fairly strong introduction it definitely could have some tweaks here and there but the overall structure is fairly sound we've got a hook some context a thesis a clear thesis and then stating my limitations that's kind of all that really needs to happen in in your introduction you just need to draw the reader in and then you're about to say what you're saying there's that classic structure of an essay that's like say what you're going to say say it and then say it again so the key thing here is that you just want to signpost your arguments and state your thesis and I've kind of done that in one go I probably could have done that a little bit earlier on so I like thesis and then signpost but that's up to you to change it but like I said I wrote this essay pretty early on so I'll forgive myself in this situation all right so on to the body paragraphs now with my body paragraph structure I would always use the same one I would go Point example explanation counterargument and reconfirming my argument and then finally linking back and forward I'll explain what that means in a second but let's get stuck in all right so we know in this paragraph that I'm going to be talking about the cycle of violence because that's what I signposted in my introduction so I'm using basically the simple peel structure that you might might have learned in like year n English and that's all you really need to do plus chucking in a counter argument there so we've got my point the phrase violence begets violence dates to the writings of the New Testament and describes the cycle of violence that is now widely assessed in the field of psychology okay so we know that I'm going to be discussing the cycle of violence and the violence beget and VI the fact that violence begets violence honestly reading this now I would kind of I might change that a little bit because my point seems to be here that I'm just discussing the cycle of violence but my actual point is supposed to be that the Cy the cycle of violence exists and is highly perpetuated throughout society and throughout history so let's see what I say next I say violence is treated as a self-perpetuating cycle one in which the victim becomes the abuser to subse subsequently continue the infinite chain okay so I've just explained the cycle of violence there that's fine just a bit of context then I say sadly due to this unrelenting cycle Humanity's History of Violence has entwined itself in modern society Okay cool so that's my point there I probably could have tied that into just one sentence and made that my topic sentence just saying that violence begets violence is an idea that dates back to the New Testament it explains the cycle of violence that we see in Psychology today and it has entwined itself in modern society three points in one sentence bang bang bang that that might have been more succinct I've kind of taken the long route and explained it in three sentences which is fine but I probably could have cut it down a little bit all right so we go on and we get to my example I say the intergenerational cycle of violence which is what I'm using as my example is a common presence in the lives of many wherein children exposed to domestic violence are likely to develop behavioral issues often to become the abused or the abuser now I didn't even really need to know a perfect example from history or contemporary Society to be aware of this we're all pretty much aware of the intergenerational cycle of violence but all I've done there just from either our own experience or things that we've maybe seen on TV or heard in popular culture and I've used that to come up with a relevant example for this essay which is fine so then I elaborate and I say this happens in schools friendship circles and positions of leadership where the bullied becomes the bully again just use that from my own experience in primary school then I bring in a contemporary Society example in this case I've used Michael Jackson kind of uncomfortable that I use that but I probably watched that awful documentary about him the week before or something so it was present in my mind I say one only needs to look so far as Michael Jackson in Hollywood to find Le evidence for this there you go I've used an example from my own experience and one from contemporary society and that's fine it perfectly explains it I've kind of been quite subtle with how I'm using the Michael Jackson example in this because I haven't really explained it I've just kind of assumed that the reader knows what happened to Michael Jackson it's a good example but I probably could have explained that a little bit better but perhaps the subtleness of it is good then I say of course one could argue that violence is not necessarily always perpetuated so that's the example and the explanation now we'll look at the counterargument and confirming my argument I say of course one could argue that violence is not necessarily always perpetuated and individuals may choose to walk away from it that's the counterargument I've maybe picked the strongest counterargument but they're probably is another one there I'm just trying to acknowledge the other point of view saying that the cycle of violence perhaps isn't inevitable which yeah it's like it's a mild counterargument I probably could have found a stronger one but it'll do then I go on to reconfirm my argument unfortunately the cycle of violence is not so easy to break awesome so I've acknowledged I've acknowledged the counter argument and I've reconfirmed my argument overcoming the cycle of violence will require learning how to act out of a place of love and empathy rather than hate that last sentence is my linking sentence and you can see that I've linked back and I've linked forward I'll show you how so I've linked back by saying overcoming the cycle of violence the cycle of violence is the point that I was just talking about and I'm linking forward by acknowledging my next argument which is acting out of a place of love and empathy rather than hate and that really sets me up nicely for going on to my next paragraph which is why you should link back and then link forward that's the point of a linking sentence it encompasses the last point that you just talked about in that paragraph and then looks forward into your next one cuz it feels like it's got quite good flow in that way so I would say that's a pretty good body paragraph it's not too long it's not too short it kind of says everything that I need to say it uses a solid example EXP explains it and then a nice linking sentence it could be refined a little bit more sure but when you're writing a gamsat essay you don't always have heaps of time to edit it so I would say that's a pretty good attempt so we'll move on to body paragraph number two and for this one we're using exactly the same structure nothing's really changing Point example explanation counter and then link all right so my topic sentence for this paragraph says in such a world of conflict only the rational peacemaker can cease the chain of violence I would say that one's awesome that one's way better than the last sentence because it kind of gets straight to the point we don't really know what a rational Peacemaker is but I'm about to say that in the next sentence so that's fine and I've also kind of linked back in that sentence because I've said in such a world of conflict which leads back to my last paragraph so it has really good flow just following on from my last paragraph and setting me up to discuss my next Point all right so I go on to say with rationality one may set a new precedent for Authority one that is led by understanding thought and empathy so again explaining my topic sentence saying what I'm about to go into and explaining why I think that the rational peacemaker can cease the chain of violence and then I explain that with another nice sentence for the opposite of violence is not simply peace but love an active antidote to a hateful act nice so that's kind of like short and Punchy a bit informal but it really tells the reader what I believe to be true that solving violence and conflict is going to take love not just peace the action of love and being kind and empathetic and you can play into what you think that they might want to hear from a future doctor they're probably not going to give a good Mark to a doctor who thinks that we should solve violence with more violence no they'll give a better Mark to a doctor that they think is going to be kind and empathetic and treat people with love and kindness so feel free to play that up because you can be anyone that you want in these essays so try and be the best part of yourself that you think will bring out the qualities in you that will make you a great doctor because that's what you want to show them all right so now I move on to talking about my example and in this case you can see I use Martin Luther King Jr so I say Martin Luther King Jr exclaimed in one of his famous speeches we must meet the forces of hate with the power of love our aim must be never to De defeat or humiliate the white man but to win his friendship and understanding now I only remembered that quote because I had used it a number of times in many different essays you don't have to remember specific quotes rather you can just talk about ideas and about people but it might also be a nice idea to find a quote from history or Society or whatever it is philosophy psychology that you can apply to a number of contexts cuz I know that I used this quote for racism essays for friendship understanding essays conflict war protest a bunch of different things so if you can find a couple quotes that might fit a bunch of themes feel free to use them and integrate them in a way that makes sense all right then I go into to explain my example and I say King was revered for his efforts for refuting racism in the US in the 1960s not with physical retaliation but with the aim for reconciliation and Rehabilitation through understanding that's just explaining the quote in another way and I didn't need to know a lot about Martin Luther King Jr to to say that but it makes a lot of sense in the context and it's not it's not false so that's fine then I go on and I further explain the example and I say he led and inspired a movement with this attitude which arguably made one of the greatest steps forward comat combating racism in the 20th century that's great it's showing the amplitude of my argument saying that if we if we fight violence and conflict with love and understanding it can have huge Ripple effects on society then we can see that I'm going onto my counterargument because I say indeed nonviolence can be very difficult in practice but if violent power is instead retaliated with more violence this preserves the legacy of the old Authority and simply reconfirms the argument that violence begets violence cool so there's a lot in that sentence there I'm acknowledging the counterargument which is saying that nonviolence can be difficult in practice it's not so easy in all cases but I'm saying if we don't respond with love and empathy and instead we retaliate with more violence then it's preserving the old Legacy of of violence beginning violence and that links back to my first argument to be honest I probably could have talked about the other option which is like walking away from violence and not doing anything and ignoring it for sure but I've obviously chosen the route to bring in my old argument remember always just to bring in the strongest argument that you can with your counterargument because then you get the best chance to refute it and confirm your argument also with your counterargument it's a really good opportunity to show empathy and that you can understand multiple points of view which is again going to be a really important quality for a doctor to have so make sure you think about that when you're thinking about your your counter argument so now I'm confirming my argument again with another sentence seemingly the only true remedy for a culture of violence is one which does not act against it but rehabilitates it so I'm just repeating my argument using slightly different words then we go on to my linking sentence and we say only through empathy rational and the action of thoughtful individuals that's the linking back may the culture of violence be undone so that we may move towards a society built upon the values of peace and understanding that's clearly linking forward into my conclusion and setting me up for a bigger discussion about why it's important to end this culture of violence and act out of empathy and love instead that was a pretty good body paragraph as well I would say that's kind of even stronger than my first one just because the structure is a little bit better and I've targeted my point and my contention a little bit better the first one just could have been cleaned up a little bit but the order of them is very good because I'm saying we have this problem and we need to fix it I did a lot of my argumentative style essays in that fashion where I would use my first body paragraph to acknowledge the problem and then the second one to acknowledge the solution if you are going to attack it in that direction then you need to propose a solution that actually is quite practical you want to Target a practical solution so that you can actually offer up a solution to the problem that you're bringing up if you don't attack that solution really and and develop that idea properly the problem that you've discussed is still just a problem you want to show them that you're a problem solver and that you have great ideas about life society and show them how you want to lead your life because again we're thinking about what they want to hear what they think would make a good doctor okay so we'll move on to the conclusion now finally with my structure for the conclusion I always used Point explain acknowledgement of limitations importance for society and then finishing it off with a call to action so five steps so first of all with this one you've got the point at the beginning which is saying for a society trapped within a cycle of violence it must be up to the thinkers of our world to Envision a new Society to be a thinker will involve being able to recognize analyze and overcome the limits of our own experiences the trauma of our pasts and our Tendencies towards violent Behavior we've got the point and we've got the explanation then I say then we may stare our nature in the eyes confront it and choose to move past it towards a more peaceful route awesome so those three sentences are delivering my point and explaining that point it sounds quite nice as well I've employed some literary and narrative techniques as well in that by saying we may stare our nature in the eyes that's something you might not hear in a very formal argumentative essay so feel free to experiment with Styles in this as well then I continue to explain and I say this active approach will require acting out of understanding empathy and love and will refuel these very virtues in return you can see that I've said it again what I just said in my argument by linking back to to the cycle of violence and acting out of empathy and Love by being a rational thinker then I go on to acknowledge the limitations and I say we do not need to agree on everything but if we can agree that everyone deserves to be treated with respect and kindness we will create the space for more meaningful connections with one another now that's fine I haven't specifically acknowledged the limitations of my point here but I've said that we don't need to agree on everything you may disagree with this point you could definitely go into more detail here and say you know opinions will diverge you probably won't think the same thing that I've just put forward because it's my own perspective and that's limited of course because I'm just one single person with my own opinion but if we can agree that everyone deserves to be treated with respect and kindness blah blah blah blah blah now that's also linking forward quite well into my next point which is the importance for society bit and I say this concept will be incredibly important in the future of our modern connected world and may provide us a framework out of which we may create a welcoming world for all of us boom like that's that's that's really good that's really big for society that we are living in a modern connected world and we want to make it welcoming for everyone no we don't want to see the world continue going into war poverty conflict that are caused by and that we try to solve with violence it's going to be crucial for us to end the cycle of violence and act instead out of love and empathy because we don't want a world that is disconnected and fueled by violence okay rant over now I finish it off with a nice little call to action for the individual and I say even in our everyday lives if we choose to neglect our violent urges and instead act out of love we might start to see some well- needed change for the better simple sweet it urges the reader to take what they have just read and act in their own lives according to what I suggested you know and I think that that's actually the point of these essays because the scope of your essay this essay that you're writing for the gamsat isn't the whole world not everybody is going to see this essay that you've written you haven't written it in an online magazine you're not posting it on YouTube you're writing it so the marker can feel inspired by you they're trying to place their trust in you so that ultimately they can place their trust putting the lives of others in your hands as a doctor all right so that's all I've got for you guys today I really hope that this helped someone out there and that you found value in this maybe even just helping you refine your structure a bit or show you what kind of different tones you can play with whatever you got from it just remember that my one tip is to show your personality and write from the heart write about something that you believe in because it's going to make it so much easier to write about and way better for the marker to read remember that the markers want to get to know you and what you've got so really bring it in both of your essays make sure that as well keep an eye out next week for my next video about how I write my task B essays which I would argue that I write them better than my task a essays I'll be going through a practice essay which I scored 87 for which is an awesome Mark so keep an eye out for that one next week thanks so much for watching guys I really appreciate your time and I will see you again very soon so girls mooving around if you see your M get the brother just come on come on just for