i can't believe that nickelodeon offered jeanette mccurdy three hundred thousand dollars for her silence they wanted to make sure that she never spoke about what she went through at that network but jeanette must not have taken the money because she's speaking out now so let's get into it [Music] so jeanette mccurdy claims that she was photographed in a bikini and was given alcohol while she was a nickelodeon child star and the quote says that was the moment i broke jeanette has been open about her traumatic hollywood experience but now she's opening up much more she's coming out with a book titled i'm glad my mom died which you guys are probably like wait hold up why would you be glad that your mother died but she had a really bad relationship with her mother debbie let's talk a little bit about her mother because jeanette started acting when she was just six years old her mother was extremely controlling and wanted her daughter to be this child star that debbie always wanted to be for herself jeanette's been quoted saying my mom had always dreamed of being a famous actor and became obsessed with making me a star it does seem like her mother was obsessed with show business jeanette told people magazine that at the age of 11 her mother was teaching her how to calorie count so how to manage her calories to make sure she's not in taking too much to keep this child-like body type and at the same time she was bleaching her hair and bleaching her teeth and it was a lot for an 11 year old to go through once jeanette got the role of sam and icarly which debuted in 2007 she was suffering from eating issues which then turned into binge eating and then throwing it up and it was a vicious cycle jeanette's been quoted saying i know if my mom were alive i would still have an e.d it was only distance from her that allowed me to get healthy so she really attributes her eating issues to her mother and her mother had to die for her to get past this issue that must be really sad because i feel like you would have some deep resentment against your mother but it's clear that jeanette does have some really deep feelings against her and for good reason because her mom has done some really creepy things like at the age of 17 jeanette was getting genital exams by her mother and her mother would not allow her to shower alone i feel like i don't even know like when do you stop showering with your parents like i mean like do you ever even do that in the first i mean it just seems like 17 is way too old for her mother to force her to shower with her that breaks my heart for jeanette because she obviously had some horrible things going on at home with a mother who really doesn't know how to raise a daughter and then she's got this work life dynamic where she's pretty much uh providing for her family like if she's not acting they're not making money in one excerpt from her book jeanette recalled trying to tell her mother that she wanted to quit acting after a failed police procedural audition because it made her uncomfortable in turn she wrote of her mother's reaction you can't quit as her mother was crying this was our chance this was our chance she bangs on the steering wheel accidentally hitting the horn mascara trickles down her cheeks and she's hysterical which we'll actually read that segment together towards the end of this video but clearly jeannette was under a lot of pressure at a young age to be this hollywood star that her mother always wanted to be when jeanette was 14 years old she was hired as sam on icarly and she wrote about how happy her mother was in that moment and how it feels like she you know finally pleased her like they finally made the dream come true her dream her mother's dream came true but you guys already know that icarly was created by dan schneider and this man has a past jeanette claims that she was being photographed in a bikini during wardrobe fittings so hmm was a creepy producer there taking pictures of her in her bikini and at the same time the creator of this show aka dan schneider encouraged her to drink alcohol i'm assuming she was under yeah she was underage at this point and you're encouraging her to drink maybe to loosen her up for the character while she's in a bikini that sounds like really suspicious and what's sick is that jeanette's mother was right there she was in the room but you know what when jeanette would bring up issues with these type of moments her mother would remind her that you know everyone wants to be in your position like everyone wants to have what you have so just be grateful for this jeanette was then promised an icarly spinoff which ended up being sam and cat with ariana grande not exactly the solo show she expected higher ups on the show wouldn't let her go after outside career opportunities which didn't necessarily apply to her co-stars so hmm jeanette wasn't able to do any additional work yet ariana grande had a full music career while she was doing the show janelle was quoted saying what finally undid me was when ariana came whistle toning in with excitement because she had spent the previous evening playing charades at tom hanks house that was the moment i broke she recalled implying that such an opportunity wouldn't be allowed to jeanette by her supervisor so ariana grande can go do whatever hollywood things she wants to do but jeanette was kind of under some extra control while she was on salmon cat sam and cat had only one season which jeanette mccurdy was offered 300 000 from nickelodeon to never speak about her experience there again which i'm interested if she took that money i'm assuming not but also i'm like wait what what happened on the side of see my cat that they would pay 300 000 for her silence that's a tough position to be in because 300 000 can change someone's life and um i mean in that moment would you just accept the money i mean i feel like i i would if i you know if i had no idea what i was gonna do next am i gonna be blackballed from the industry like i'm a child star how am i gonna be you know an adult star she was probably in a really tough place so if she did take the money then you know what good for her she should just still speak out she was quoted saying my whole childhood and adolescence were very exploited it still gives my nervous system a reaction to say it there were cases where people had the best intentions and maybe didn't know what they were doing and also cases where they did they knew exactly what they were doing which that's very eerie to read so right now janette is doing everything in her power to promote her book and to sell her story and we do have a few excerpts from her book this is a moment where she talks about being a child actress and not being able to cry on cue and i found this section very um interesting we're not going to read this one but her mother would tell her that she can do it you are this character so when janette is supposed to be crying because she's playing a character named emily who went through a traumatic experience her mother would reassure and be like you are emily you are this person and um it kind of forced her to become this character even though she didn't feel confident to perform that way which seems like you're like manipulating this child to believing they are whatever this character is keep in mind this is a child so it's not like an adult who can defer like oh work from character from acting from person like no she has no idea and she's being forced to act like these characters against her abilities in this instance she wrote but today right now i don't feel like being emily i don't want to be emily this has never happened before but it's happening now and it's scaring me a part of me is resisting my mind forcing this emotional trauma on itself a part of me is saying no it's too painful i'm not doing this you guys may remember that we just mentioned there was an excerpt about her asking her mother to quit acting jeanette writes no i don't really want to i don't like it it makes me uncomfortable talking about acting mom's face looks like she just ate a lemon it contorts in a way that terrifies me i know what's coming next oh so she made like a i don't even know you can't quit her mother says this was our chance this was our chance oh that's a lot of like you know our chance or like your chan anyways she bangs on the steering wheel accidentally hitting the horn mascara trickles down her cheeks she's hysterical her hysteria frightens me and demands to be taken care of in this moment jeannette's just a young girl who doesn't want to upset her mother disappoint her mother she says never mind i say so loudly my mom can hear it through her sobs her crying stops immediately except for one leftover sniffle but as soon as that sniffle is over it's complete silence i'm not the only one who can cry on cue oh my god shade to the mother never mind i repeat let's just forget i said anything sorry so she was apologizing to her mother for feeling uncomfortable working this position her mother's behavior paired with like dan schneider over here like uh taking pictures of her in bikini um then trying to provide her alcohol and then um whatever he did on salmon cat that she may not be able to speak about because loki i feel like she hasn't given us any specific salmon cat stuff like it's all been icarly so i wonder if she did take the 300k and she's like trying to be like super safe about it but honestly like if they did illegal things then speak about it because an nda cannot protect illegal activity but i want to hear what you guys think in the comments below here is my email if you guys have any other video ideas for me and i'll see you in a new one soon bye guys [Music]