one of the biggest reasons why people want to improve their communication skills is because they know that their career growth is directly correlated to their communication ability as I leveled up my ability to communicate I was able to form really strong connections and build a really big Network and I'm sure you've heard this before your net worth is directly correlated to your network my ability to connect with others my ability to build rapport all of this has been a vital part of My Success in this video I'm going to give you General thoughts first on how to 100x your career through building your network and then I've got specific strategies that I will share with you too by the way if you're new to my channel my name is Vin Jang and I've been teaching communication skills now for the past decade I've been able to train companies like Microsoft Zoom I've worked with Fortune 500 companies so if that's something that you value please consider subscribing so that you won't miss out on future videos the first universal law is go into these networking functions with curiosity often people don't go into these with a mindset of curiosity they tend to have the mindset of I want to go to find a client I want to go to find someone to add value to me buy my product buy my service look and I understand this is important but this is one of the main reasons why people hate networking functions is because most people are going to networking functions with that same mindset who's going to become my customer who's going to become my client who's going to buy my product who's going to buy my service and imagine a room fied with hundreds of people who are just there trying to trying to find their next client that's why when you go to networking functions it just often feels slimy and it doesn't feel good but when you can go to a networking function and have a mindset of curiosity and be curious about why people are there curious about other people's businesses it actually takes a lot of pressure off your shoulders and allows you to enjoy the event and because you're not going there with that intention of trying to find the client trying to make a sale you don't wreak of desperation and as a result of that you have this beautiful ease to you which makes you more attractive makes you more attractive people going oh this is nice being around this person I don't feel like they're trying to sell me something and there's a benefit to being curious because now you're more interested in others and it's refreshing it's refreshing so that's that's the first thing that I would say now the second thing that I would say is to take away that pressure again go with some prepared questions so have a list of questions that you've memorized conversation starters I think that one of the things that makes networking functions the most difficult is how do I start a conversation with a group of strangers you know when you're going to a networking function then you're holding your drink because you need something to hold to make you feel more comfortable I do feel that too and then you're there you're holding a drink and then you're standing in you're like oh man this feels so weird damn it everyone's in groups and I'm just standing here by myself one of the main reasons we now are afraid to walk up to a group and start talking is because we don't know what to say so plan a few conversation starters now I just build up the courage and just use it so for example I I'll hold my drink I'll walk up to a group of strangers and I'll be like hey do you mind if I uh I join the conversation I'm here on my own and do you mind it is that okay can I just just joined the conversation with you all is that all right nine times out of 10 people are beautiful they go of course oh my goodness come join us what's your on and boom and We're Off to the Races and look I'll be quite Frank with you there have been times where I've done that and people go oh sorry we're having a private conversation all good I'll immediately go hey no worries at all no I don't well I kind of do do that sometimes but then I walk away and then I try again and I guarantee you the time I do it boom I'm straight into a conversation and we're having a good time so again that's just one conversation starter right or you can have another conversation start just walk up and just be like hey my name's Vin what brings you all here to the networking function just by having two to three conversation openers and starters having them just in my head that was enough for me to just go and try and just remember remember the quote by Mark twne you worry less about what people think of you when you realize how seldom they do that group that when I walked up and I said hey can I join your conversation they said no this is private conversation do you think they even still remember me I can promise you that they don't even remember that interaction that they don't even think about me anymore in their life so please don't let your mind trick you into thinking that you are more important than you are to others now the third thing that I will say is what also takes the pressure off networking and also allows you to create more meaningful connections the way to get to that is be more interested interested in the other person than you are in yourself this is a quote from Dale Carnegie and D Carnegie says the following I want to read it precisely as he says it you can make more friends in 2 months by becoming interested in other people than you can in 2 years by trying to get other people interested in you people love talking about themselves so if you're sitting there and you're thinking I don't know what to say I don't know what I'm going to talk about ask them questions about them ask them questions about themselves and there's a wonderful framework if you don't know what type of questions to ask is a wonderful framework called Ford f o r d which is an acronym for you can talk to them about their family you can talk to them about their occupation even though I don't really like to talk about that but that is an option if you'd like then you can talk to them about the r is for recreation which is the things that they enjoy in their free time and the D is their dreams what are their dreams in this life people love those topics right they love those topics use that as a bit of a framework As you move into being interested about them those are the universal thoughts that I would share but then I want to give you some of my tactical boots on the ground type strategies by the way if you're enjoying the content thank you if you didn't know I'm actually running a 2hour free master class on communication skills where you can join me and learn live so you can try learning with me if you want to come along to this session click the pinned comment in the comment section to be able to save your seat hope to see you in class number one the first thing I'll mention to you is I always do my research before I go to a networking function if if I don't do the research and find out the attendees list and work out who's going to be at a networking function then I'm not going because I'm not interested and and and I don't I don't mean to say this to sound like an absolute prick but I'm very time poor I manage a big team now and I create lots of content and I've got two kids and a wife and I love my mom and my dad I love to spend time with them and I've got lots of friends and family well not lots I've got about five good friends that I spend time with I don't have that many F I'm not that cool but I I love spending time with the people I love right so I've got very little time there's no reason for me to go to a particular networking function because there's no one I want to connect with I'm not going so again Step One is do your due diligence who's going to be there and I would always look through the attendee list and I would do a bit of research who do I actually want to connect with so then when I go to the networking function I am very specific with the person that I'm going to approach and now if you know who you want to approach if you know exactly who you're going to want to connect with do research on that person connect with them on LinkedIn 2 weeks before you even go to the networking function send them a LinkedIn request hey James I know you're also going to this networking function I'm also heading there too mate would love to connect with you when you're there let me know if you want to catch up so I'm doing my due diligence there now that I found him or her on LinkedIn what I'm going to do is I'm going to do my research in that I'm going to look at the posts they've put on LinkedIn I'm going to see what they're interested in I'm going to look at the history of where they've worked all all of this is publicly available information on LinkedIn I'm doing my background research so that I can use one of the universal laws so that when I do meet James I can truly be interested in James and hey James I realiz you used to work at Adobe man that was so cool can you tell me what are some of the most powerful lessons you've learned when you were at Adobe you know and all of a sudden now I'm not just meeting someone random and when you meet someone random are you know nothing about them so that b you can't talk to them about anything because you know nothing about them whereas now I know so much about James now there are so many questions I can ask him about his journey I know as you're listening to this some of you are like oh V that's that's creepy that's weird that's gross it's only gross because you've never done it before and you've never actually tried it you're judging something before you've tried it I can tell you right now every time I've done my due diligence and I meet people like this they are just grateful because now we can have deeper conversations as opposed to the classic so what do you do how long you've been there I've been I've been there three years cool cool cool cool um uh what are you drinking oh okay yeah yeah this is what I'm drinking have have you tried the food have you tried the food oh cool cool cool cool yeah I tried to fit too man weather's hot today again all of a sudden you know this person now they'll be flattered that you've actually done the research on them they'll feel like a superstar it makes them feel special it makes them feel valuable and again there's a creepy way of doing it and then there's a beautiful natural way of doing it the creepy way of doing it is if you just met them and you listed all their credentials where they've worked for the past 16 years and you listed it because you memorize it all no that's weird use a bit of situational awareness here okay so if you spoke to him and said hey I realized you worked at Adobe that was amazing oh that's so cool I saw that on your LinkedIn and I thought I had to connect with you because you know what one of my secret dreams is I actually one day would love to work in Adobe do you see the power of the clarity here because imagine you met this person James he used to work at Adobe and all of a sudden you just mentioned a dream of yours as you build this relationship you may not even realize it but by by the end of that conversation if you build a strong enough connection James will say something like ah you know what Vin I'm still in touch with the HR team in Adobe I'm going to make a connection for you what's your email that's how these things happen that's how these things happen it's how they happen they don't happen by chance they happen because someone was intentional about it and sure sometimes it happens by chance but look don't leave the dreams that you want in this life two charts make them happen now once you've done your research then the second thing is during the networking function I'm going to approach them and this is the scary part this is the bit where you have to overcome your fears you have to practice the courage muscle you have to take action even though it feels scary even though it feels weird even though they might reject you do it approach them and now when I approach them my first goal is not to get them to help me my first goal in that interaction when we meet each other at the networking function my number one goal is to form a connection with them that's my number one goal and even if in that interaction he doesn't James doesn't connect me with the HR person from Adobe I don't care I don't care that is not my goal my goal right now is how can I just create a strong connection therefore A Lasting Impression with James with the person that I'm trying to connect with the ways in which you can develop a really strong connection is you need to develop the skill of active listening the better you are at active listening the faster you are able to pick up on Common Ground when you're speaking of James the moment you find some kind of Common Ground the connection levels will just Peak you've had this happen to you before have you ever spoken to a stranger and by chance they say to you what what what were you up to last night what were you doing oh I was just watching uh just rewatching scrubs I love that series and then the other person goes oh my god you watch scrubs I love scrubs oh my God you you watch scrubs too oh my God Boom the level of connection has just hit the next level now if any of you watch scrubs you would have felt that too but can you can you see what I mean here it's that those moments they happen seemingly randomly but as you build your ability to actively listen within a conversation you can very quickly discover Common Ground now if there was a secondary goal then the secondary goal for that conversation is the following as I'm actively listening not only am I trying to find Common Ground as I was doing research on them before I met them I'm also trying to understand the secondary goal of this interaction how can I help them how can I help them achieve one of the goals that they're currently aiming for in this chapter of life for them right now give first ask later I want to share with you how one of my followers became one of my best friends in my life this is Ali and he he's he's become one of my brothers in my life and when I first met Ali he was he's done the research on me he came to one of my first stage classes I ever ran in person in 2016 he was more interested me then he was trying to sell his services and he didn't try to sell me anything and he tried to help me in my life I remember after our two-day interaction he at the end said to me he goes hey V I understand what your goal is you want to start a speaking career I get it all right I've got some connections on how I can get you your first few speaking gigs in America because I know you're moving there so let me let me line up those connections let me see if I can help you on your journey and I just went what what the hell what why are you why are you so nice to me this is a thank you 2 weeks later he secured me my first keynote speaking gift in in Austin Texas in America and I was just so flabbergasted I remember just sitting there thinking to myself why would this this is the kindest person why would this this person is doing this with no expectation of anything in this is amazing and then all of a sudden the law of reciprocity started to to to have its impact and I just immediately just went what can I do for you oh my goodness Ali I can't believe you got me my first speaking gek in America you you're what can I do can I do something for you and he goes oh man thank you so much bro like what I really would love is I want to improve my communication skills and and I'm looking for some coaching and I was oh dude let me can can I be that coach can I be that person boom and then I started coaching him and we've become best friends but I wanted to give you that example because Ali gay first he did the research he understood what my goals were he did the due diligence he saw some posts I put out about me trying to build a dream career as a keynote speaker he saw all of that and I was so moved by that I tell you that story because you are one networking function away from potentially finding one of your best friends in your life if you go about it in this way that's the power of being clear That's The Power of putting connection first that's the power of giving first before you ask if you want to learn more about communication skills and go deeper down the rabbit hole click the video up here and if you want to join me and learn with me live click this link here to save your spot