chapter 25 of Jane Eyre this is a LibriVox recording all the provokes recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit librivox.org recording by elizabeth klett jane eyre by charlotte brontë chapter 25 the month of courtship had wasted its very last hours were being numbered there was no putting off the day that advanced the bridal day and all preparations for its arrival were complete I at least had nothing more to do there were my trunks packed locked corded ranged in a row along the wall of my little chamber tomorrow at this time there would be far on their road to London and so should I or rather not I but one Jane Rochester a person whom as yet I knew not the cards of a dress alone remained to nail on they lay four little squares in the drawer mr. Rochester had himself written the direction mrs. Rochester blank Hotel London on each I could not persuade myself to fix them or to have them affixed mrs. Rochester she did not exist she would not be born till tomorrow sometime after 8 o'clock a.m. and I would wait to be assured she had come into the world alive before I assigned to her all that property it was enough that in yonder closet opposite my dressing table garments said to be hers had already displaced my black stuff Lowood frock and straw bonnet for not to me I pertained that suit of wedding raiment the pearl coloured robe the vapoury veil pendent from the usurped portmanteau I shut the closet to conceal the strange wraithlike apparel it contained which at this evening hour nine o'clock gave out certainly a most ghostly shimmer through the shadow of my apartment I will leave you by yourself white dream I said I am feverish I hear the wind blowing I will go out of doors and feel it it was not only the hurry of preparation that made me fever ish not only in the anticipation of the great change the new life which was to commence tomorrow both these circumstances had their share doubtless in producing that Restless excited mood which hurried me forth at this late hour into the darkening grounds but a third cause influenced my mind more than they I had at heart a strange and anxious thought something had happened which I could not comprehend no one knew of or had seen the event but myself it had taken place the preceding night mr. Rochester that night was absent from home nor was he yet returned business had called him to a small estate of two or three farms he possessed 30 miles off business it was requisite he should settle in person previous to his meditated departure from England I now waited his return eager to disburdened my mind and to seek of him the solution of the Enigma that perplexed me stay till he comes reader and when I disclose my secret to him you shall share the confidence I sought the orchard driven to its shelter by the wind which all day had blown strong and falled from the south without however bringing a speck of rain instead of subsiding as night drew on it seemed to augment its rush and deepen its roar the trees blew steadfastly one way never writhing round and scarcely tossing back their boughs once in an hour so continuous was the strain bending their branchy heads northward the clouds drifting from pole to pole fast following mass on mass no glimpse of blue sky had been visible that July day it was not without a certain wild pleasure I ran before the wind delivering my trouble of minds to the measureless air torrent thundering through space descending the Laurel walk I faced the wreck of the chestnut tree it stood up black and riven the trunk split down the center gasped ghastly the cloven halves were not broken from each other for the firm base and strong roots kept them unsanded below though community of vitality was destroyed the SAP could flow no more the great boughs on each side were dead and next winter's tempest would be sure to fell one or both to earth as yet however they might be said to form one tree a ruin but an entire ruin you did right to hold fast to each other I said as if the monster splinters were living things and could hear me I think scathed as you look and charred and scorched there must be a little sense of life in you yet rising out of that adhesion at the faithful honest roots you will never have green leaves more never more seabirds making nests and singing idols in your boughs the time of pleasure and love is over with you but you are not desolate each of you has a comrade to sympathise with him in his decay as I looked up at them the Moon appeared momentarily in that part of the sky which filled their fissure her disk was blood red and half overcast she seemed to throw on me one bewildered dreary glance and buried herself again instantly in the deep drift of cloud the wind fell for a second round thornfield but far away over wood and water poured a wild melancholy wail it was sad to listen to and I ran off again here and there I strayed through the orchard gathered up the apples with which the grass round the tree roots was thickly strewn then I employed myself in dividing the ripe from the unripe I carried them into the house and put them away in the storeroom then I repaired to the library to ascertain whether the fire was lit for though summer I knew on such a gloomy evening mr. Rochester would like to see a cheerful heart when he came in yes the fire had been kindled some time and burnt well I placed his armchair by the chimney corner i wheeled the table near it I let down the curtain and had the candles brought in ready for lighting more Restless than ever when I had completed these arrangements I could not sit still nor even remain in the house a little timepiece in the room and the old clock in the hall simultaneously struck ten how late it grows I said I will run down to the gates it is moonlight at intervals I can see a good way on the road he may be coming now and to meet him will save some minutes of suspense the wind roared high in the great trees which embowered the gates but the road as far as I could see to the right hand and the left was all still in solitaire save for the shadows of clouds crossing it at intervals as the moon looked it was for too long pale line unburied by one moving speck a pure Altair dimmed my eye while I looked a tear of disappointment and impatience ashamed of it I wiped it away I lingered the moon shut herself wholly within her chamber and drew close her curtain of dense cloud the night grew dark rain came driving fast on the gale I wish he would come I wish he would come I exclaimed seized with hypochondriac foreboding I had expected his arrival before tea now it was dark what could keep him had an accident happened the event of last night again recurred to me I interpreted it as a warning of disaster I feared my hopes were too bright to be realized and I had enjoyed so much bliss lately that I imagined my fortune had passed its Meridian and must now decline well I cannot return to the house I thought I cannot sit by the fireside while he is abroad in inclement weather better tie my limbs than strain my heart I will go forward and meet him I set out I walked fast but not far era had measured a quarter of a mile I heard the of hoofs a horseman came on full gallop a dog ran by his side her way with evil presentiment it was he here he was mounted on misra followed by pilot he saw me for the moon had opened a blue field in the sky and rode in at watery bright he took his hat off and waved it round his head I now ran to meet him there he exclaimed as he stretched out his hand and bent from the saddle you can't do without me that is evident step on my boot toe give me both hands mount I obeyed joy made me agile I sprang up before him a hearty kissing I got for a welcome and some boastful triumph which I swallowed as well as I could he checked himself in his exultation to demand but is there anything the matter Janet that you come to meet me at such an hour is there anything wrong no but I thought you would never come I could not bear to wait in the house for you especially with this wind and rain rain and wind indeed yes you are dripping like a merman pull my cloak round you but I think you are feverish Jane both your cheek and hand are burning hot I ask again is there anything the matter nothing now I am neither afraid nor unhappy then you have been both rather but I'll tell you all about it bye and bye sir and I daresay you will only laugh at me for my pains I'll laugh at you heartily when tomorrow is past till then I dare not my prize is not certain this is you who have been as slippery as an eel this last month and as thorny as a briar rose I could not lay a finger anywhere but I was pricked and now I seem to have gathered up a stray lamb in my arms you wandered out of the fold to seek your Shepherd did you Jane I wanted you but don't boast here we are at Thornfield now let me get down he landed me on the pavement as John took his horse and he followed me into the hall he told me to make haste and put on something dry and then returned to him the library and he stopped me as I made for the staircase to extort a promise that I would not be long nor was I long in five minutes I rejoined him I found him at supper take a seat and bear me company Jane please God it is the last meal but one you will eat at Thornfield Hall for a long time i sat down near him but told him I could not eat is it because you have the prospect of a journey before you Jane is it thoughts of going to London that takes away your appetite I cannot see my prospects clearly tonight sir and I hardly know what thoughts I have in my head everything in life seems unreal except me I am substantial enough touch me you sir are the most phantom-like of all you are a mere dream he held out his hand laughing is that a dream said he placing it close to my eyes he had a rounded muscular and vigorous hand as well as a long strong arm yes though I touch it it is a dream said I as I put it down from before my face sir have you finished supper yes Jane I rang the bell and ordered away the tray when we were again alone I stirred the fire and then took a low seat at my Master's it is near midnight I said yes but remember Jane you promised to wake with me the night before my wedding I did and I will keep my promise for an hour or two at least I have no wish to go to bed or all your arrangements complete all sir and on my part likewise he returned I have settled everything and we shall leave Thornfield tomorrow within half an hour after our return from church very well sir with what an extraordinary smile you uttered that word very well Jane what a bright spot of color you have on each cheek and how strangely your eyes glitter are you well I believe I am believe what is the matter tell me what you feel I could not sir no words could tell you what I feel I wish this present hour would never end who knows with what fate the next may come charged this is hypochondria Jane you have been overexcited or over fatigue do you sir feel calm and happy calm no but happy to the heart score I looked up at him to read the signs of bliss in his face it was ardent and flushed give me your confidence Jane he said I relieve your mind of any weight that oppresses it by imparting it to me what do you fear that I shall not prove a good husband it is the idea farthest from my thoughts are you apprehensive of the noosphere you are about to enter of the new life into which you are passing no you puzzle me Jane your look and tone of sorrowful audacity perplex and pain me I want an explanation then sir listen you were from home last night I was I know that and you hinted a while ago at something which had happened in my absence nothing probably of consequence but ensured it has disturbed you let me hear it mrs. Fairfax has said something perhaps or you have overheard the servants talk you're sensitive self-respect has been wounded no sir it struck twelve I waited till the timepiece had concluded its silver chime and the clock it's hoarse vibrating stroke then I proceeded all day yesterday I was very busy and very happy in my ceaseless bustle for I am notice you seemed to think troubled by any haunting fears about the noosphere etc I think it's a glorious thing to have the hope of living with you because I love you no sad don't caress me now let me talk undisturbed yesterday I trusted well in Providence and believed that events were working together for your good in mine it was a fine day if you recollect the calmness of the air and sky for bad apprehensions respecting your safety or comfort on your journey I walked a little on the pavement after tea thinking of you and I beheld you an imagination so near me I scarcely missed your actual presence I thought of the life that lay before me your life sir in existence more expansive and stirring than my own as much more so as the depths of the sea to which the brook runs are than the shallows of its own straight channel I wondered why moralists call this world a dreary wilderness for me it blossomed like a rose just at sunset the air turned cold and the sky cloudy I went in Sofie called me upstairs to look at my wedding dress which they had just brought and under it in the Box I found your present the veil which in your princely extravagance you sent for from London resolved I suppose since I would not have jewels to cheat me into accepting something as costly I smiled as I unfolded it and devised how I would tease you about her era socratic tastes and your efforts to mask your plebeian bride and the attributes of Epirus I thought I would carry down to you the square of unemployed had blonde I had myself prepared as a covering for my lowborn head and asked if that was not good enough for a woman who could bring her husband neither fortune beauty nor connections I saw plainly how you would look and heard your impetuous Republican answers and your haughty disavowal of any necessity on your part to augment your wealth or elevate or standing by marrying either a purse or a coronet how well you read me you which interposed mr. Rochester but what did you find in the veil besides its embroidery did you find poison or a dagger that you look so mournful now no no sir besides the delicacy and richness of the fabric I found nothing save Fairfax Rochester's pride and that did not scare me because I am used to the sight of the demon but Sir as it grew dark the wind rose it blew yesterday evening not as it blows now wild and high but with a sullen moaning sound far more eerie I wished you were at home I came into this room and the sight of the empty chair and fireless hath chilled me for some time after I went to bed I could not sleep a sense of anxious excitement distressed me the gale still rising seemed to my ear to muffle a mournful under sound whether in the House or abroad I could not at first tell but it recurred doubtful yet doleful at every lull at last I made out it must be some dog howling at a distance I was glad when it ceased on sleeping I continued in dreams the idea of a dark and gusty night I continued also the wish to be with you and experienced a strange regretful consciousness of some barrier dividing us during all my first sleep I was following the windings of an unknown road total obscurity environed me rain pelted me I was burdened with the charge of a little child a very small creature too young and feeble to walk and which shivered in my cold arms and wailed piteously in my ear I thought that you were on the road a long way before me and i strained every nerve to overtake you and made effort on effort to utter your name and entreat you to stop but my movements were fetid and my voice still died away inarticulate while you I felt withdrew father and father every moment and those dreams way on your spirits now Jane when I am close to you little nervous subject forget visionary woe and think only of real happiness you say you love me Janet yes I will not forget that and you cannot deny it those words did not die inarticulate on your lips I heard them clear and soft I thought too solemn perhaps but sweet as music I think it is a glorious thing to have the hope of living with you Edward because I love you do you love me Jane repeated I do sir I do with my whole heart well he said after some minute's silence it is strange but that sentence has penetrated my breasts painfully why I think because you said it with such an earnest religious energy and because your upward gaze at me now is the very sublime of faith truth and devotion it is too much as if some spirit were near me look wicked Jane as you know well how to look poin one of your wild shy provoking smiles tell me you hate me tease me vex me do anything but move me I would rather be in sense than saddened I will tease you and vex you to your heart's content when I finished my tale but hear me to the end I thought Jane you had told me all I thought I had found the source of your melancholy in a dream I shook my head what is there more but I will not believe it to be anything important I warn you of incredulity beforehand go on the disquietude of his air the somewhat apprehensive impatience of his manner surprised me but I proceeded I dreamt another dream sir that Thornfield Hall was a dreary ruin the retreat of bats and owls I thought that of all the stately front nothing remained but a shell like wall very high and very fragile-looking I wondered on a moonlit night through the grass-grown enclosure within here I stumbled over a marble hearth and there over a fallen fragment of cornice wrapped up in a shawl I still carried the unknown little child I might not lay it down anywhere however tired my arms however much its weight and pidove my progress I must retain it I heard the gallop of a horse at a distance on the road I was sure it was you and you were departing for many years and for a distant country I climbed a thin wall with frantic perilous haste eager to catch one glimpse of you from the top the stones rolled from under my feet the ivy branch as I grasped gave way the child clung round my neck in terror and almost strangled me at last I gained the summit I saw you like a speck on a white track lessening every moment the blast blew so strong I could not stand i sat down on the narrow ledge I hushed the scared infant in my lap you turned an angle of the road I bent forward to take a last look the wall crumbled I was shaken the child rolled from my knee I lost my balance fell and woke now Jane that is all or the preface sir the tale is yet to come one waking a gleam dazzled my eyes I thought oh it is daylight but I was mistaken it was only candlelight Sophie I supposed had come in there was a light in the dressing table in the door of the closet where before going to bed I had hung my wedding dress and veil stood open I heard a rustling there I asked Sophie what are you doing no one answered but a form emerged from the closet it took the light held it aloft and surveyed the garments pendent from the portmanteau Sophie Sophie I again cried and still it was silent I had risen up in bed I bent forward first surprised than bewilderment came over me and then my blood crept cold through my veins mr. Rochester this was not Sophie it was not Leah it was not mrs. Fairfax it was not no I was sure of it and am still it was not even that strange woman grace Poole it must have been one of them interrupted my master no sir I solemnly assure you to the contrary the shape standing before me had never crossed my eyes within the precincts of Thornfield Hall before the height the contour were new to me describe it Jane it seemed sir a woman tall and large with thick and dark hair hanging down her back I knew not what dress she had on it was white and straight but whether gown sheet or shroud I cannot tell did you see her face not at first but presently she took my veil from its place she held it up gazed at it long and then she threw it over her own head and turned to the mirror at that moment I saw the reflection of the visited features quite distinctly in the dark oblong glass and how were they fearful and ghastly to me sir I never saw a face like it it was a discolored face it was a savage face I wish I could forget the role of the red eyes and the fearful blackened inflation of the lineaments ghosts I usually pale Jane this sir was purple the lips were swelled and dark the brow furrowed the black eyebrows widely raised over the bloodshot eyes shall I tell you of what it reminded me you may of the foul German Spectre the vampire ah what did it do sir it removed my veil from its gaunt head rent it in two parts and flinging both on the floor trampled on them afterwards it drew aside the window-curtain and looked out perhaps it saw dawn approaching for taking the candle that retreated to the door just at my bedside the figure stopped the fiery eyes glared upon me she thrust up her candle close to my face and extinguished it under my eyes I was aware her lurid visit flamed over mine and I lost consciousness for the second time in my life only the second time I became insensible from terror who was with you when you revived no once a bat the broad day I rose bathed my head and face in water drank a long draught felt that though enfeebled I was not ill and determined that to none but you would I impart this vision now sir tell me who and what that woman was the creature of an over stimulated brain that is certain I must be careful of you my treasure nerves like yours were not made for rough handling sir depend upon it my nerves were not in fort the thing was real the transaction actually took place and your previous dreams with a real to his Thornfield Hall ruin am i severed from you by insuperable obstacles am i leaving you without a tear without a kiss without a word not yet am I about to do it while the day is already commenced which is to bind us indissolubly and when we are once united there shall be no recurrence of these mental terrors I guarantee that mental terror sir I wish I could believe them to be only such I wish it more now than ever since even you cannot explain to me the mystery of that awful visitant and since I cannot do it Jane it must have been unreal but sir when I said so to myself on rising this morning and when I looked around the room to gather courage and comfort from the cheerful aspect of each familiar object in full daylight there on the carpet I saw what gave the distinct lie to my hypothesis the veil torn from top to bottom in two halves I felt mr. Rochester start and shudder he hastily flung his arms round me thank God he exclaimed that if anything malignant did come near you last night it was only the veil that was harmed or to think what might have happened he drew his breath short and strained me so close to him I could scarcely pant after some minute's silence he continued cheerily now Janet I'll explain to you all about it it was half dream half reality a woman did I doubt not enter your room and that woman was must have been at grace poole you call her strange being yourself from all you know you have reason said to call her what did she do to me what a Mason in a state between sleeping and waking you noticed her entrance and her actions but feverish almost delirious as you were you ascribed to her a goblin appearance different from her own the long disheveled hair the swelled black face the exaggerated stature were figments of imagination results of nightmare the spiteful tearing of the veil was real and it is like her I see you would ask why I keep such a woman in my house when we have been married a year and a day I will tell you but not now are you satisfied Jane do you accept my solution of the mystery I reflected and in truth that appeared to me the only possible one satisfied I was not but to please him i endeavoured to appear so relieved I certainly did feel so I answered him with a contented smile and now as it was long past one I prepared to leave him does not Sophie sleep with Adele in the nursery he asked as I lit my candle yes sir and there is enough room in add a little bed for you you must share it with her tonight Jane it is no wonder that the inn didn't you have related to to make you nervous and I would rather you did not sleep alone promise me to go to the nursery I should be very glad to do so sir and fasten the door securely on the inside wake Sophie when you go upstairs under pretence of requesting her to rouse you in good time tomorrow for you must be dressed and have finished breakfast before 8:00 and now no more sombre thoughts chase dull care away Janet don't you here to watch soft whispers the wind has fallen and there is no more beating of rain against the windowpanes look here he lifted up the curtain it is a lovely night it was half heaven was pure and stainless the clouds now trooping before the wind which had shifted to the west were filing off eastward in long silvered columns the moon shone peacefully well said mr. Rochester gazing inquiringly into my eyes how is my Janet now the night is serene sir and so am I and you will not dream of separation and sorrow tonight but of happy love and blissful union this prediction was but half fulfilled I did not indeed dream of sorrow but as little did I dream of joy for I never slept at all with little Adele in my arms I watched this number of childhood so tranquil so passionless so innocent and waited for the coming day all my life was awakened a stir in my frame and as soon as the Sun rose I rose to I remember Adele clung to me as I left her I remember I kissed her as I loosened her little hands from my neck and I cried over her with strange emotion and quitted her because I feared my sobs would break her still sound repose she seemed the emblem of my past life and here I was now to array myself to meet the dread but adored type of my unknown future day end of chapter 25 you you