i was a voice inside the red pill space for almost a decade and now I can't stand anytime I hear stuff like high value you men sing beta male or any of that other red pill terminology that messes dudes up into thinking that life is only about their ability to not get played by women while somehow at the same time sleeping with a bunch of them i'm also making this video because I see too many men getting stuck in a mindset that's costing them peace growth and real connection and I've got a son now to raise and the more I think about a lot of the characters I've met in the space and some of the dudes who are heavily subscribed to the red pill terminology the more I'd consider myself a failure as a father if he ended up thinking like that now before we go any further I got to lay out my cred so you don't think this is just another blue pill beta scent video hating on the true nature woman i've had dinner with Andrew Tristan Tate as a guest at a war room i've been on Fresh and Fit sat next to Rolo Tamasi and met him several times i've sat down with Rich Cooper entrepreneur and cars i've spoken at Donovan Sharp's CME convention and I gave a talk at the 21 convention title being red pill in a blue pill world and that speech has got over 170,000 views i met a lot of highprofile names in the space i made a lot of friends there are some solid dudes in the Red Bull community make no mistake about it but there's also a lot of nonsense and unfortunately that nonsense is what gets the spotlight now at first I chocked it up to the loudest voices drowning out the most thoughtful ones but over time I realized something bigger those abrasive extreme voices aren't the fringe they're the ones with the most influence and that's a problem now before we go any further let's define what I mean when I say the red pill i think the red pill is a loosely connected online movement of made up of men's self-improvement and dating content really built on the belief that modern society lies to men especially about women relationships and masculinity and to be fair that part isn't wrong i embrace the red pill because I saw how much confusion and suffering men go through trying to navigate today's world but the way the red pill community delivers that truth and what it demands from men in return is where things get ugly unlike a lot of people who throw shots at this community from the outside I'm an insider i've shared mills and stages with the biggest names i know them as people so I'm not here to name drop for clout or beef i will be naming no specific names if I've had a decent conversation with someone I'm not going to blast my line that ain't my style i'll block you before I bicker some guys already know that i argue against ideas not people but when the space starts to look more like a street gang than growth we've got to talk and here's what I mean see street gangs work because they promise safety and protection in a hostile environment and it's not just the rival gangs they offer to protect you from it's your mom who doesn't understand you and the loneliness you feel because your pops ain't never been around a school that says you're a problem so on top of worrying about the ops you're also just an emotional mess who wants a little reassurance and gangs off of that then you start to see the big homies who are banging despite coming up in the same hood as you starting off with even less than you and somehow they got money girls cars and respect that you don't have and so desperately want maybe you don't even want to fly a whip you just want to be able to buy something new and be the man at something or at least get a cute girl to smile at you every now and then now you probably already see where this is going before we get there I got to drop a stat on you to blow my mind the average age a young man joins a street gang is 13 that coincides with puberty and boys starting to get interested in girls and also no longer being treated like a little kid i'd imagine this is why gang recruitment skyrockets at that age clicks form and many of those clicks might attack you society stops seeing you as a kid you feel misunderstood you want girls and they don't want you and life is hard guidance at this time is most important and if a boy ain't got it he'll find it elsewhere the difference between the red pill and street gangs in this regard is whether you're in the hood or not the other big difference is that the rib pill hits guys of all ages as long as they feel like society has screwed them over and there are big homies who promise that if you join the gang you'll get everything you want now I don't have a problem with the emphasis on self-improvement that comes with a lot of the red pill content i think that a man trying to make himself as attractive as possible to gain the attention of the opposite sex generally though not always works out great for everyone the man typically gets in shape learns some interesting skills gets out of a socially isolating bubble and overall becomes a more engaged member of the community and in theory at least the girls end up with more options to date more quality men these are good things and necessary for society and if the manosphere only stuck to self-improvement and teaching men how to vet women we wouldn't have a problem but it ain't all good because that ain't where the music stops it spirals into paranoia bitterness and fear because the red pill hustles backwards it tells you that unless you become some jacked hyper masculine player who never trusts women you're weak it tells you that vulnerability makes you a simp and that relationships are a trap and the connection is a liability and so ironically enough the red pill turns you into a slave to what you claim to hate you don't trust women but you can't stop chasing them you don't want to love but you're terrified of being alone and that's not freedom that's just another kind of prison so much of it is complaining bitterness and viterall without any real actionable steps to solving the problem and before any folks in that space who watch this video say something like "Teaching how to get laid paid and never trust women is a solution." No it isn't look I'm not going to be the dude to tell you that you just have to be yourself and all the game you learn isn't necessary if it wasn't clear before I'm a big believer in becoming better with girls but very few dudes found the red pill because they had issues with women by the time any guy with odds and a working brain reaches his teenage years he understands what girls like and don't like at least on a superficial level men have always known that being a leader being cool being in shape greatly inre increases your chances of getting laid we know that you have to eventually make moves and eventually we all learn the pain of heartbreak most of the dudes who find the red pill are like me they got burned when a girl cheated or smashed them uh them up in divorce court or something like that my red pill origin story is that at 23 I was dating a girl who got pregnant by a bum she worked with even after she knew the baby wasn't mine my mom still moved her in hung up pictures of the kid everywhere and somehow acted shocked when I wasn't coming around anymore i was angry and that's how most men find the red pill we felt rejected let down and misunderstood and some bros on the internet come along who claim to have the answer to all of our problems but most of it is just talking about the negatives of women now every red pill guy apparently goes through something like the five stages of grief when it comes to the red pill denial that the world works this way anger that it works this way bargaining that some of the world might be this way but still denying some truths that are too bitter to swallow depression after they see that some of this stuff is true and finally acceptance that all of it is true i keep coming back to this uh because it's a really clear idea the red pill sells you clarity but only if you stay angry it offers a sense of control but keeps you dependent on bitterness at this point I feel it's important to tell you that I for the most part think there's a lot of truth in the red pill ideology but without digging too far into the specifics I think that truth only applies if you're operating at a certain level in a certain environment in my video about being street smart I talked about how you only gain street smarts by being in an environment like the street and suffering along your way to learning how to survive and then once you're out those skills can help you flourish but they come with some serious downsides i've linked to that video in the description the red pill is a lot like this supposed to wake you up but now it just keeps you asleep angry bitter and stuck in the same cycle the red pill is just like being street smart it will help you navigate a certain aspect of the dating world and the women you meet in it but and take it from someone who not only knows this firsthand but has also talked to many men who have had depressingly similar experiences those skills come with some serious downsides that will make it difficult if not impossible to start a relationship if that's what you want and that's one of the biggest problems in the red pill space the big names and leaders in the space are stuck in the anger phase of course they don't think they are but if your main talking points are criticizing women and their flaws then you have not learned anything you're still just angry albeit for slightly different reasons some of that anger is incentivized because the angry takes get the most views from other guys anger sells and anger also keeps you stuck now take a look at the personal lives of most of these so-called highv value red pill guys one guy talks about high value men but lives in a rented condo hasn't spoken to his kid in years and hasn't had a serious relationship since the Obama was president and they constantly have petty beefs online and crash out ironically enough just like the behavior they criticize in women like I said at the start of this video I don't beef online i just ignore a block real masculinity isn't about gossiping or crashing out online it's about knowing when to walk away and just cut your losses and charging to the game most of these dudes are stuck chasing women they don't even like because that's all they know how to do if you're following a guy in his mid30s whose only flex is how many girls he smashes you're following somebody who peaked in high school not someone in manhood getting laid is easy man you can pay for that emotional connection though trust building something special with somebody you respect h that's the real challenge and most of them won't do it because that means facing your fear or their fear of rejection moving past their pain and learning from the mistakes and building something that can be taken away from you uh in an instant but it's arguably one of the most powerful and important drives in a man it's not just about the biological drive to procreate it's about building a legacy raising a family and creating something that outlives you when you look at it like this the red pill is no different than modern feminism that it criticizes so much for making girls more interested in their career than their family if red pill is the bloods feminism is the crips both sides are built on division both rely on the worst case scenarios and loud bitter voices feminists will say stuff like women make less money than men even though women now outperform men in graduation rates college enrollment and average average and even average earnings in certain age brackets so what ends up happening boys come of age confused angry and feeling like they were lied to they go online and the red pill gives them something that feels like clarity it's not always the truth but it is an identity and just like a gang it tells them "Stick with us we'll protect you we'll show you the way." But there's a cost and a lot of boys and men don't realize it until it's too late there is value in red pill troops but the delivery system is broken so here's my advice especially if you're young and looking for answers you got to vet the men you follow if a dude's biggest achievement at 35 is I get hoes that ain't a high value man that's a dude stuck in adolescence if he tells you the only metrics that matter are money muscles and women but he's angry isolated and addicted to his platform or something like porn you never know ask yourself if that's someone worth becoming you want to win in life right so you got to work out your trauma and build something that's real you got to cultivate peace you got to learn to connect not just conquer and if you want a plan to avoid becoming one of those broken older dudes living off bitterness watch the next video here about the three mistakes that will ruin your life trust me you're not broken you're just angry but you don't have to stay that way