Transcript for:
Daily Practices for Adding Value to Others

I'm going to give you five things that I do every day to add value to people okay and this is going to work this is going to work for you and and by the way this is you every one of you can do this every one of you can do this so look at your neighbor and say even you can do this all right even you because there are five things I do every day every day you just say to John what do you mean by every day I don't want to go too deep on you don't want to go over your head I mean every day number one every day I value people and you say okay when you say you value people I mean who do you value everyone and you say what do you mean by everyone Jesus created everyone what part of everyone do we not understand look at you look at look at first you received beside and say Jesus loves you go ahead and tell them that Jesus loves you look back and say Jesus loves me yeah he does look back at him and say Jesus loves people I don't even know yeah that's good oh one more thing look at him and say Jesus loves people I don't like and let me tell you something he loves people you don't like he really does if you look at the life of Jesus in the Gospels the one thing you come after reading Matthew Mark Luke and John is that man valued everybody and the only people who didn't like it were religious people we've got to make a decision are we going to start connecting with people or are we going to keep correcting people we're okay my name's Sean I'm your friend so every day I value people one number two every day I think of ways to add value to people every day I think of ways to add value to people about a month ago I was talking to Stephen on the phone about me coming out here and he said you were going to be in this Vision series and and he's telling the the the message that wouldn't be preached by the time I got here would be I want to make a difference I said well could I preach that message for you and he said well sure if you want side side I want to I want to what what am I doing before I ever got here a month before I'm thinking of a way to add value to you add value to him I mean I I could have said no I just I got I got my little sugar sticks I'd rather preach no I've never preached this before I developed this message just for you today it's all yours it's it's the Covenant message nobody else gets it they don't get it now it's very simple why because I think of ways of adding value to people number three every day I look for ways I look I look for ways to add value to people and let me say you see what you anticipate mm-hmm so when you anticipate of adding value to people you start seeing ways to add value to people just as if you you know most people they most people they don't get up in the morning and say how could I add value to people most people get up in the morning and say who's going to add value to me we're all selfish are you with me and if you don't think you're selfish outside of the fact you don't think if you don't think you're selfish let me ask you a very simple question the next time you're in a group picture when you see that group picture could I ask you a question who is the first person you look for in that picture [Applause] now come on now hey and if hey hey and if you look bad you say oh terrible picture bad picture back here come on do it again do it again come on group come on do it one more time yeah come on come on and if you look good in the picture you say oh great picture great picture send that to you [Applause] that's why in adding value to people you have to be intentional because it's not natural the selfish nature of us is who's going to do something for me today but that Jesus that created us and empowers us and saves us he wants us to add value every day every day I I I value people think always that value people look for where you stand back people therefore I do things I every day I do things that add value to people every day I do things that have valued people every day every day Margaret I have five grandchildren they call Margaret Mimi they call me papa Margaret pick the names for the first grandchild she said what what are the grandkids going to call us I said I have no clue it's not really been on the top of my agenda well she said I've been thinking about it she said I want him to call me Mimi well I said I like that but she said I don't want him to call you pee pee so I agree with that too I don't want to call me peepee so they call me papa they call me papa I love that name every year I ask God to give me a word for the ear in my ear word this year as father and I just want to be a father I want I I want to be a uh they've got great fathers but I want to I want to be a spiritual I want to be a Stephen for you and Eric I want to be a spiritual father to you I want to I want to oversee and love and care for and bless you know what I want to give I I want to I want to be a father right I I want to be a I want to be a papa and so James who was nine at the time because I'm asking them all the time okay how are we going to add value to people because they know this they know this lesson trust me they they know this lesson and James who was nine said I know what I'm going to do Papa he said tomorrow when we go to school I'm going to open doors for everybody and I'm going to not only open doors I'm going to smile and say have a good day next evening he called me he said Papa I had a great day tell me about it James he said I opened 47 doors today for people and I smiled 47 times and said have a good day he's nine years old and he said well I got it figured out I know people come on now he's already got it figured out I I know people I know people they're 79 and they haven't figured it out every day value people think of what is that value people look for ways that value people do things add value to people number five every day I encourage others to add value to people oh yeah that's what I'm doing with you right now I'm encouraging you I'm encouraging you to add value to other people wow I have privileged in one of my businesses to have a coaching company called the John Maxwell team some of my coaches are here today we started six years ago we now have 20 000 coaches in 142 countries of the world fastest growing top coaching company it's it's and you know what we and we teach them every time they come they come every six months to Orlando and we teach all of our news when they come in the John Maxwell team DNA and right at the top of that list is we value people in fact I tell my coaches you are people of value that add value to others that's who you are you're people of value that add value to others if you don't value yourself you will value anyone else that's what Jesus said you got to love yourself so you can love your neighbor love your neighbor as yourself and we teach that and it's so exciting I've got 20 000 that they're my legacy they're they're the they're the legs to my legacy I got 20 000 legs running around yeah I do going to fifty thousand it's a movement um if you want to know I've never I've not done this but you want to know how to be a John Maxwell team coach just go to johnmaxletteam.com you know we'll put you on a that you don't want to do this unless you want to climb we're we're all climbers we're not sliders so if you're a slider don't go there please please please you'll mess us up your name is Charlie we'll have to drag you around all the time every day I do those five things value people think of what he satisfied to people look for ways do things and encourage others to Value people and you can do that every one of you can start today because today matters amen bow your heads with me would you please on all of the campuses I want to thank you for allowing me to communicate to you today and I'm going to ask the pastors on all the campuses to come forward because now I'm going to ask one last important question before we wrap this up because we're talking about making a difference and I've shared with you my make a difference journey and I know it's resonated with literally thousands of you today but but let me just talk to you for just a moment about the person that can make the biggest difference in your life his name is Jesus he loves you so much he came to this earth lived here died on a cross resurrected on the third day to provide a relationship of forgiveness and salvation to every person that hears my voice he can make a difference the greatest difference in your life with every head about it every eye closed I wonder how many of you not only in this Auditorium but the other auditoriums also how many of you just raise your hand and say hey John I know you're right and I want to have a relationship with him and you just raise your hand up real high all over the auditorium and by raising up your high you just say John I'm going to raise my hand because I want you to pray for me and in a moment I'm going to pray for you while you're in your seat that that you'll begin this relationship with you but in all the auditoriums and in this one too would you raise your hand right now if you just like to know God in a personal way oh my goodness raise them up high raise them up high I just I just like to develop I see your hands up in the balcony being raised over on the sides I'd just like to know just raise them a high for me real high just for a moment keep them up there for me I'm looking at them because I wanna I wanna see you so that I can pray for you in a moment now that you that have the right ear raise your hands right now I'm praying for you Lord Jesus you see the hands that have been raised and more important than the hands that are raised visibly you know the heart that longs to have a relationship with you and you said I stand at the door of your heart and I knock and if any person hears my voice and opens the door you said you would come in and these that have raised their hands they're right now saying Jesus Come into my life as my savior come into my life as my friend I want today to begin a relationship with you I want you to make a difference in my life so I could make a difference in the lives of others I pray God right now you'll hear that prayer and you'll answer that prayer in the name of Jesus and everyone said amen thank you for letting me pray with you thank you for letting me be here today I test them I'm just full of Hope every year I I have nine questions that I go through at the end of the year um the last week of the every year I I don't go out and speak of course this year that's not a hard deal but I always set that side as time aside and I go through my calendar but my 2020 calendar I go through a day every day and every hour for the whole year and I do it every day for a week and I have nine questions and I and I go through those nine questions and I I just every day I write with a different color so I'll write with that I still do a pin so I'm so sorry you don't relate to that but that's all right and I'll do it in green and I'll do it in blue and then I'll do it and I put every day so I layer my thinking so I can see the progress of my thinking but I have nine questions and one of the questions that I ask every year is I ask God to give me a word a word for that year and this year I got my word earlier than ever before in fact I got my word by the middle of December I wasn't even asking for the word and God gave it to me usually I mean one year it was literally 11 o'clock on New Year's Eve before I got my word I thought that was a little close but God thought I was a little slow but this year I think he wanted me to make sure I got so he gave it to me he gave me the word in the middle of December so I've had two weeks to look and the word is Hope the word is Hope in a world that just no matter where I am in the last three months I've I've had personal audiences with the president of Costa Rica I've had personal honestly with the president of of Guatemala I've I've talked to Supreme Courts of countries I I've had I've had a some pretty major entrances in the last three or four months and now all of them are looking at us and in fact when we were in Costa Rica the Secretary of Education said we're the Costa Rica the president just signed on that every Public School in Costa Rica will take our values curriculum and and and then as we finish the Secretary of Education said you do know that seven other secretaries of Education in Latin America have contacted me and said if we do it they want to do it also and by the way you're very generous with equip and every year for many many years out of your missions budget act out of your birthday gift for Jesus that's such a report 2.6 million that's that is it I don't know I might be wrong isn't that the best that we've done we've done better but we'll get there and it's in a covered year it's in a covered Year let me your your birthday gift to Jesus your birthday gift Jesus it goes for all kinds of wonderful helps and one of them you you help us you help us with with the values Cricket when things are doing it and I I want to I want to say thank thank you for that but but just let me I gotta close they gave me the word hope and then he gave me three words with it prosperity affluence insecurity Prosperity if you look at the word prosperity in the dictionary it means to go forward with hope isn't that beautiful when people talk about Prosperity it means to go forward with hope so he said John I want you to teach people a prosperous life of of going forward in Hope and affluence means to have a flow of abundance in your life not have a scarcity mindset but to have a flow of abundance in your life hope is is about abundance it's it's all about moving forward and then security means having faith that's greater than fear so that's my word [Music] [Music] I gotta wrap it up I know I do but I just want you to know precious friends that we'll commit ourselves this year to setting an environment of trust and that we will be unconditional in our love and in our actions and in our lifestyle that we are going to have the greatest Harvest year ever in this church the greatest Aaron ever and and I just I just I just want to close the service with prayer this I love the prayer emphasis on this night this this if you're going to have prayer emphasis on on the five o'clock service this will be my favorite service because I I I I love it when the body comes together in prayer father I just humble myself before you and and these precious friends people these people that love you and they've been transformed their life has been changed [Music] if we're going to be transformation if we're going to change our world it starts with us so I pray that you would give a a spiritual renewing transformational movement that begins in our heart start with me oh God start with me but thou I pray father [Music] that you would see the heart of Christ's Fellowship it's the same heart as you father when you gave your only son for this world it's a it's a heart for people to come to God and I'm going to pray a prayer of anointing and favor and covering and blessing over this congregation and over every one of these individuals father in their business in their family in their community may we start transformation tables and and father may we see good people [Music] learn and embrace good values and may they be lifted up so that we can be Salt and Light in the community that we live I I just I covered Todd and Julie and I cover the staff and I just pray God that you give them an anointing a Great Commission anointing that they will lead us and father I pray that you'll give all of us a heart for people may we love people like you love people and may we reach people as you so desperately want us to reach people so we give you ourselves and we thank you for hearing our prayer and we believe that this year this is going to be the year that lives are transformed if you can believe I'm sitting here today uh with Tracy and Tracy I I thought about a quote from Patrick Emmington he said it's the greatest Folly to talk of motivating anybody the real key is to help others unlock and direct their deepest motivators and as I'm listening to John today I thought how true is it that if you'll just listen to this as that student we talk about man there's really some good stuff here on how to motivate yourself and then motivate those around us and I agree and what I think is so cute let's book end it I'll start at the end and come back to the beginning when John says go from hype to Habit yes I thought it was so cute the story that he started out talking about himself as a fourth grader and how amazing that when he saw the big boys as he called them out on the on the court I would think that most kids now I've I've had six kids and I would say that most kids including myself would see the people out on the court and would practice being in like by being um called out onto the court by by the microphone and the to the crowd cheering and what he saw even as a fourth grader was that he needed to that was the hype being interviewed or called out onto the court it's not interviewed what is it being introduced introduced out into the court and what he saw was that he didn't need to practice being introduced onto the court even as a young boy he saw that it wasn't about the hype he needed to practice he needed to practice basketball ball so that he could be one of those five introduced out onto the court I thought that was amazing that even as a child he wasn't drawn to the hype even though his heart was he was drawn to the Habit that would get him to that position where he would be introduced I thought that's amazing yeah that whole comment and then how your play on that um reminds me of a great story of Serena Williams the great tennis star and she would right before Championship Games she would start thinking about the post-game interview and what she was going to say she would start envisioning what she would do right after the last shot when she won the championship isn't it interesting and John's thinking about walking out on that stage and he dribbled out there and then came back did it three times the coach said are you gonna practice and and so but these great it's almost like don't focus on the Pomp and the hype as you're talking about focus on the talent but then focus on how you're going to make the best once you are really talented and uh I love that I and I think that both of those stories just really motivate me how John did that and then how Serena would spend time thinking about what is going to be her post Championship interview and how's it going to sound even before she's played in the championship so I love that and that's that's kind of I think that's applicable to how we as Leaders need to be we need to focus on the disciplines the habits and not so much on the hype that's right and preparing to succeed yeah and so I would love to know I'm sure our listeners would too do you remember the first time you were motivated yeah I uh I was real motivated it goes to John's first point the leader who motivates a self-motivated I can remember Tracy um four and five years old leading uh I told all of 2022 I've been telling a story in all of our big events about how I wanted to drive a ship as a five-year-old and I would pretend my entire carport was this ship and all these people we were taking a cargo that was precious to far away places to people who did not experience the magnitude of the precious cargo that I have don't ask me what the cargo was I can't remember I just know it was very precious it was very needed and it was going to impact people when I got a little hot wheels or something back yeah it might have been it could have even been one of those little red hot things uh Fireballs it could have been Fireballs yeah candy but all I know is I would sit on that imaginary ship and I would motivate my people saying hey I know we've been on the on the waters for three weeks now but imagine the face of the people I can remember it five six years old motivating my imaginary crew with what it was going to be like to deliver our cargo so I I can remember feeling motivated at a very very young age I can remember motivating people even imaginary people probably probably motivated imaginary people a little bit better than real people um it's easier it is easier less resistance for sure um but I can remember early early in life being motivated and and a lot of that came from within I just had this passion within me that burned and exhibited itself as motivation and I can remember at after about two years of driving this big cargo ship which was our car carport this is imaginary this is all imaginary oh driving driving our carport which was my cargo ship and one day I'm standing on the railing looking out over a 20-foot drop and all of a sudden a plane landing in Atlanta airport flew over and I went why would I drive a cargo ship when I could drive an airplane an Airship and get there much faster and take a lot more people so it quit being such a precious cargo to now getting people farther than they'd ever been faster until about nine and then the United States had the space shuttle program and my cargo ship turned to an Airship an airplane to a spaceship and I soared into the world and took people to destinations they had never been I love that and uh and so anyway it's funny because I can tell more of the story but today I'm not driving a cargo ship an Airship or a spaceship but I'm driving a leadership yeah how about that oh my gosh why we love you times a million I love that um okay so getting back to you so you're self-motivated where that's the goal John talks about the leader who motivates is self-motivated but then he talked about something that we should motivate someone with the right motives and so can you do a little bit of motivating right here to our audience if someone is listening he gave two examples that manipulation is moving people forward for personal advantage and I would say that that's a Temptation for every leader because every leader is trying to get ahead trying to has personal goals and has their eye on certain goals but then he says motivation is moving poor people forward for Mutual Advantage so let's say someone is in our audience and I'm certain that this has to be if we're getting real with ourselves as leaders should be and and you might they might have heard John say that and there was that little bit of oh in their Spirit of like it is kind of one-sided I maybe I am guilty of manipulating my people not with bad intentions even maybe but can you talk a little bit to our audience if they are have found themselves that it's one-sided maybe and how do they move from move that needle from it being just about personal advantage of how do you become a leader who makes it a win-win situation yeah I think all of us that are leading things bigger than us things that are more significant us um we have manipulated people so I want to start there because it sounds so bad and but I want to tell you this if you're asking the question how can I not manipulate people how how can I make sure that I'm motivating people you don't have a manipulation problem you have a passion problem and you don't have people around you that can speak into your blind spots because all of us that are leading will at times get so focused on our agenda on our mission on the thing that is so important to us that without even knowing it without being intentional about it we will begin to manipulate people to get to the accomplishment of our vision and Mission so start there there's a chance those of you that are leading big things leading teams there's a chance that you might be manipulating right now I'm not challenged with the fact that people manipulate I'm challenged with the people that manipulate ongoing consistent and don't have checks and balances in their life so I don't want to manipulate people I hope I never do but I do because the agendas sometimes become so important that I gotta get there that I don't slow down and motivate now let me explain motivation when John says motivation is moving people for Mutual Advantage the only way I can know what Mutual Advantage is is with questions now John goes right after that motivational questions in in his lesson but but stop right here manipulation we all have a strong temptation to manipulate people at certain times when we got to get to the to the goal we've got to get to the summit but the way that you motivate people is you have to ask questions you have to sit down and ask what is motivating to you right and let me tell you how you know you are being tempted to motivate or to manipulate rather than motivate when you're doing a lot more talking rather than asking questions how does that make you feel Tracy that we're going to go chase this agenda that we're going to go get a hundred thousand people in in the um in the growth app how does that make you feel you know oh it feels good it feels good sometimes I got to slow down and say why does it make you feel good Tracy well I know that answer for you I think let me try it for a moment you are so passionate about women that are great moms and great leaders and have a passion for the world to embrace both Expressions you're passionate about it and you won't you want people that are passionate about family and people that have enough significance to be passionate about the family that they are significant in other areas too so when I feel like I am over motivating you for my agenda I slow down and say Tracy you do remember that on the personal growth app you're going to be able to talk to more people about making relationships imported in their life and all of a sudden I watch those lights turn back on in your eyes I watch you lean forward again and say this is what I want my life to be about too many leaders that are casting too much vision they cross the line between motivating people to Mutual passions Mutual accomplishments to motivate to manipulating people to their passion and their accomplishments and so for me as a leader that is very passionate we just talked about that with my five-year-old self I've got to slow down and ask questions to make sure that people are getting motivated at their passion and desire level not my passion and desire level it really is coming back to the relationship it is which I love to always connect back to it's it's knowing your people it's you know that about me you're able to say those things because you know that about me and you also can know that I can lose motivation as somebody who you are leading into a new place because I can get distracted by other things in life and it's connecting back of where we're going to the heart of what really matters to me and what matters to the people and I know somebody needs to hear that because you can start to feel and maybe you feel this way sometimes that the people that you're leading and trying to motivate get distracted easily and so it's a matter of connecting back his life is busy life has hardships life can distract our people and when we're trying to motivate them we need to make sure that we are connecting to the things through those questions that really matter to them well so recently sitting in uh the studio today is Jared Cagle he's recently been named our Executive Vice President of content development and so he texted me earlier this week at the podcast recording and he said uh Mark I'm living my best life he said I just experienced a day that I could have only dreamed would have happened in my life it was a perfect day it had all these components in fact he was telling us a little bit about some of the components before we started recording here's my point when you are motivating people and you're getting their best an agenda of the leader can be accomplished but it is much more gratifying as a leader to know that it's being accomplished on in this case Jared's terms rather than my terms and I I've left too many meetings Tracy and John Maxwell would say hey how was the meeting I go man it was great how do you know it was great because I really delivered my message anyway that's what made the meeting great you got the message off your chest a great meeting is when I deliver a message that awakens something in the person listening to the message and inspires them to go chase fulfillment of significance and success in their life because it's something they want to do a great meeting is not always everybody rallying around my vision and my Direction but a great meeting is always when I can rally people around what's in them and what they want to accomplish with their life and that leads right into creating a motivational environment a motivational meeting environment but how do you gauge that like for that meeting when when John would say to you how great was your meeting Mark or how was your meeting Mark how do you gauge if they if they were sparked if the people sitting in your meeting were sparked if they were motivated by what you were saying and connecting with that how do you gauge that well it's a good question I love this question in fact I'm thinking of a meeting that's coming up pretty soon to where I really have got to motivate our team for the vision that I have for the rest of 2022 and getting us ready for 2023 I'm starting to feel the intensity now it's middle of October starting to feel the intensity of 2023 plans and um I've really got to motivate our team what I've asked them to do I just shot a video this morning before I came into this to record with you I asked them to consider I gave them an example of what success looked like from an event that we did with the vision we had for the event and for the organization I said here is the model of perfect scenario give them a picture of what success looks like then I asked them and I said I want you to come ready to this next meeting with Clarity on how you can learn from this picture-perfect example that I've just given you and apply that to some areas that you are already connected with the vision or areas in your organization that you're part of the organization that you need to connect to the vision find what's going well or find something that we really need to work on I think oftentimes we ask people why aren't you motivated but we don't give them a picture of what motivation or inspiration looks like I think you've got to give a good model a good example and then ask them the question what will motivate and inspire you to get to that good example in your world and um I'm trying that now Tracy um maybe we'll come back in a podcast next month or in a couple of weeks and I'll tell you how it's going but that's what I'm trying to do currently is create this motivational environment by saying hey this is what's working perfect to the vision with great culture and great momentum this is what I would like for your part of the organization how can you get there and uh that I just want to go into John talks about an influencer nurtures people now when we hear the word nurturing we don't necessarily think of a leader right away do we right this is uh we use the word soft and that may come across you I don't want to be a nurturing leader it's not easy by the way maybe soft but but it is not easy and John goes on to say man it does mean a commitment to your people it does mean loving your people and I will tell you this as long as you and I work together and worked with John there is no doubt that he nurtures as a leader to those that are on his team and and in his influence talk a little about from your perspective as a leader the importance of that again I'm I'm air hashtagging right here nurturing of people you got it first of all let me say this to all you podcast listeners you need to jump on YouTube and and kind of check out the Maxwell leadership podcast Google US Google or not Google it YouTube search it and you'll find us you've got to see how nurturing it feels to see Chris go to use air air uh in a pink shirt but it's February Happy Valentine's Day to you Chris so so yeah so this is nor I this has been more pronounced to me in John Maxwell's leadership over the last two or three years than at any other time I I wouldn't have started 21 years ago and said man that John Maxwell he's a nurturing leader right now he's always been a valuing people loves everybody everybody feels welcome you're not you don't work for me you work with me he he says nurturing things in his sleep I mean he's just great at it but it has really become obvious to me Chris over the last three years when he first found his word for the year to be father and there is this Pride John wrote me a card over the holidays he in his year in review he kind of writes cards based on impact moments that he had he then pulls out a note card right in the impact moment and writes a thank you note it's a brilliant idea I'm going to teach on a podcast because I'm gonna steal it because it's a great idea I got one of those and I just opened it this weekend been traveling just opened my mail and had this thing from John and he said my most proud thing I've done this year is to watch you do your thing he said of all the things that we've accomplished and this was 2021 was a great year for all of us Chris including you and your team he said of all the things I'm proud of of all the things that just made me swell with pride and Thanksgiving it was watching you lead to the next level now I don't believe those were just nice words I think that was the nurturing father side of John Maxwell This was real pronounced to me just an hour before walking in the studio John and I are doing a Consulting arrangement with a group from Mexico zebra powerful powerful leaders these these young people are fired up and they're asking these questions of John and I and and John's gonna throw one or two of them my way and so I'm ready and and I go gangbusters with my answers I mean I'm just like this my YouTube family I'm just like this I mean I'm fired up ready to go and John just kind of pauses and there's this love and this thing and you're going number one is answers are always good but you don't even have to answer correctly I just feel a warm embrace right now yeah the woman was asking how do I stop failing and disappointing people around me and I've got three reasons and why passion is going to and John just slows down and it's less about his words than it is about his demeanor and leaders if I could help you and I could help me if I could help me right here if you will nurture with your persona with your attitude with your presentation it'll go further and last longer than your Wise Wise passionate words and I'm still learning that I'm not a nurturing leader I I have this hard charge if I can fire you up we're gonna get it done yeah and John just goes man if I can make you believe in yourself yeah you're going to get it done yeah and you know when you're just talking about that I was like man where I I know that I'm tied I tied that to a comment he made and even in your show notes here he says nurturing people does mean lifting people to a higher level right there's a lot of complexity that comes to lifting your people to a higher level but even in just that illustration of him answering that question by slowing down and understanding hey you're probably not you're not always going to get approval from people you're not going to make them happy and then just talk through that from a demeanor you lift people up yeah and let me say this in leadership in leadership and Leadership and I'm talking to you as a mom over your family or a dad working through a troubled teen I'm talking about in leadership and that has elements of leadership there's a big difference in nurturing and enabling yes and many leaders feel like if I nurture then I am enabling you or empowering you to less than and that's not true back to your quote of John nurturing is continuing to lift them to a higher level but it's not kicking them in the butt to do it it's lifting them from the heart totally agree hey let me one thing I thought about here as well when when John talks about that nurturing does mean loving people one of the things that you and I are extremely excited about is our League of Extraordinary leaders and Joel mamby a powerful executive in in the corporate world as actually partnered with us and just done a off of his book a digital content called love works and we went back and forth and we said do we include that word in the title and we said man absolutely we have to because that's just part of leading people and so it's uh he puts together seven principles a better way to lead and to love your people now I want to move on to point number two um which by the way we're not going to cover all four Jake doesn't let us cover all the content once we're in here together but but I love this because I think you have to then communicate the priority of this to the organization you know the last question that you just reviewed for us that John talked about is how many people then are they equipping so in this conversation you're my leader so your question to me is how many Chris how many people are you equipping in order to help us accomplish this this Mission this Vision we're after you said this statement I want to share this with with our audience in one of our leadership team meetings you came in and you didn't even say hello you didn't even say hey how's everybody's weekend whatever you came in and you said all right here we go you couldn't be here today who's sitting in your seat well yep and all of us were like don't pick on me and you were just like go who is it Chris who is it right and so Becky who is it whatever and I was like man like that yeah that's so good if if we were doing this in a way that we should be doing it as As Leaders of organization we would we would have it right there but what you were doing was you were implementing and living out this hey I'm going to communicate this is a top priority for all of our people so talk about that talk about the desire that you have as a CEO of the Enterprise to make sure that your people and that you are continually uh emphasizing and communicating the power um and not only the power but the need because it's so critical to be developing and equipping your people well it's so funny because uh our podcast family is going to think that I'm just this Cutthroat gonna kill everybody cut everybody out fire everybody kind of leader I don't think I'm like that man maybe I need to go check because let me tell you why I say that though Chris a week ago today I'm in a meeting with two of our leaders you were not even in the meeting and I said guys who's your replacement and they looked at me like what and I said by the way if something happens to me who's my replacement what are you going to do if something happens to me yeah now that's kind of fatalistic right and it's so funny that you you just don't reminded me I'd forgotten about that you reminded me of a meeting several months ago where I challenged every leader first thing I brought came into the meeting was hey who's your replacement what are you going to do and then I just had that same conversation a week ago I think and I justify it with this the law of the bench every leader is prepared surprises don't prepare leaders it reveals leaders I use all these illustrations and that was certainly my point seven days ago with these leaders guys who are you training for the the unexpected who is your law of the bench and I began to articulate to them what I may not have articulated in this leadership meeting that you're referencing I believe it's the responsibility of every leader to know his players and to strengthen the bench of players on the team that's not anything Earth shattering or great revealing I'm sure to our podcast audience what's revealing to me when you ask this question today is I told both of those leaders last week who I would replace them with if something happened to them now I was in this meeting I was really challenging them because we're not moving the ball forward as quickly as I feel like that we should and I was going guys who is your replacement and be inviting them into it because they probably can make you better so it wasn't just let's find a replacement it was who else is brainstorming with you because your replacement may have better ideas than you because you're too close to the challenge love that but as I'm listening to you asked me that question today as I'm reminded that I asked that question again one week ago which means I may be asking that question way too much I realized that while I have a plan on who would be their replacement I have no intentionality on how I am equipping them today so what am I going to do Chris am I going to wait to equip my bench when they're actually in the game or am I going to equip them while they're on the bench so that if an injury happens they're able to get right in your son plays football you played football no coach wait until the injury to equip the second string the second string is making the first string better by learning the game plan by scrimmaging with them in the leadership game and mine in your company podcast listeners are we scrimmaging enough with the uh the backups to make sure that they are equipped when they become a starter yeah and I'm telling you this right here I need to quit recording a podcast and go equip some people because I've got a plan yeah I just am not backing that plan up of equipping to make sure they're ready for game yeah to further that illustration and then I'm gonna move on to the last point you look at now we're biased we're in the South so we're big SEC fans when you look at the level of uh schools at the highest level in the SEC the reason they're successful is they have a bench that is ready to step in at any point in time injury draft next man up and they talk about that and they talk about it so do we run our teams like that we run our companies like that you and I are sitting here shaking our head no together and I was doing that just for our viewers not for our podcast listeners I didn't want the podcast listeners and so I love this right you've got to be communicating this because it has to be a priority not to only to you as a leader you gotta back you know I'm not going to cover point four but John lays out an incredible model yeah and the first one he talks about is model it so leaders before you go communicating this you need to be modeling it so that then your people understand what that looks like that's the first step of the five M's that John gives us okay at the very beginning he talked about the best motivation is self-motivation and for me uh you know if you take the strengths finder test um as I've grown as a leader my top five have changed over the years but number one has always been positivity and so all from the time I was a young person people would say oh you know Tracy you're so motivating you're so positive and so as a young person a budding leader I don't know who needs to hear this today but I know somebody does I felt like that was my calling that meant that what people were saying to me was that my my role was to motivate people and to bring that positivity to people which was true to some degree but what I found myself doing a lot of the time was exactly what that quote said and that was I was motivating promoted people I was motivating the wrong people and the quote from Tom golisan golisano was that you can demotivate people but you know what also you can D you can demotivate yourself that's right when you are trying to motivate the wrong people it is exhausting so if you think of this as your little check mark if you have been if you're wondering if you've been motivating the wrong people if you find yourself exhausted uh demotivated a little down and discouraged if you feel like you're ready to throw in the towel because maybe you aren't a motivated or positive person and you're starting to feel negative even then odds are you have probably been trying to motivate the wrong people and so I'm just curious Mark um did you ever need a thinking shift or are you always a leader who motivated yourself motivated the right people or were you somebody who also like me uh brought your positivity because you're a very positive and motivated person I just to be around you I know people just walk away from you smiling in a little spring in their step were you always that way or were you somebody who like me found yourself a little exhausted and demotivated from motivating the wrong people yeah so I I wish I could say yeah I once had that problem but the real truth is is I still have that problem and and I'll tell you what I mean with that you know as John was teaching that and even Tracy as you were just talking about kind of your Epiphany back in uh earlier in life I I thought about the question that John gets asked all the time hey how do I motivate my people right any leader out there want to lift their hand and say yeah that's me I want to know how do I motivate my people yeah Tracy's got both hands up I've got both hands I want to motivate somebody please and John says here's the best way to motivate people and everybody kind of grabs their pen and their paper and if you're watching on YouTube today I mean I've got my paper ready I'm ready to hear what John has to say and he says the best way to motivate people is hire motivated people yeah and now it's it's so fun to kind of laugh and go yeah that's right well what happens when we are the people when the people that needs motivating is us is you I the leader in the equation and I think Tracy that's what you're asking me is how do we lead ourselves John says leaders motivate themselves followers wait for others to motivate them and I do want to be an inspirational person in fact my life purpose that I discovered at 33 was I exist Mark Cole exists to motivate and inspire people to reach their full potential and I know that to live out that purpose of inspiring or motivating others it has to start with me and yet there are times that the last thing that I feel is motivated or inspired and so I I do think the idea of inspiring oneself is a muscle it's it's something that we have to work at we we have to put into practice what motivates you what's your happy place what what's things that refuel you and replenish you what is what is your ideal Sabbath or time of rest so that we're working from rest rather than resting from work and and I I mean I believe that's really important but I also think Tracy that for us as leaders we do have to realize that if we rely on external circumstances or external relationships or external factors to motivate ourselves we are in for a very difficult Road in the area of leadership there has to be within us much like what Tracy had an epiphany that says I am going to be my chief motivator I can't rely on others I can't rely on circumstances I've got to find ways to inspire myself so that I will inspire others and I think that's what John's saying here Tracy I think that's what your Epiphany was there has to be in each of us a realization an accepting of responsibility that if we are going to be motivated if we're going to inspire others it is going to be up to us to motivate ourselves and I I think that's a big distinction between leaders and followers as John noted in the lesson today I agree and I I don't want if you are if you didn't get this and write it down I wrote it down as Mark said it because I haven't heard you say this before and it's powerful to me we should be working from rest rather than resting from work and I think so many of us limp into the weekend whatever day that is maybe it's a Saturday Sunday or maybe it's a Monday Tuesday or whatever your work schedule is but so many of us limp into the weekend rather than and then try to gear back up again for the you know Monday of our of our work week rather than every day waking up refreshed because we are rested we are staying in a place of rest so that we are working from that rest and that is if you don't know what that is if you don't know what that feeling is then you're probably resting from work yeah and and it's a huge it's a huge difference so thank you for saying that Mark and I think that that really does bring a motivation and you know you and I were talking a little bit before this one of the things that John says that is a distinguishing uh mark from him from other leaders and that is that he talks about being a motivational teacher not a motivational speaker right can you kind of differentiate that for people who maybe haven't heard him say that before yeah you know so just come to a John Maxwell event and uh you will leave inspired in fact we we did a study uh in 2021 on why we have why people make a decision to become a customer a client a partner of the John Maxwell organization we were in the middle of our rebranding and we wanted to know the why why did people come and uh and so whether you talk to prospects whether you talk to one-time customers or whether you talk to multiple customers over 80 percent of them said we came for inspiration and and skill development we wanted a few tools that would make us better and we wanted some inspiration John is a motivational inspirational incredible teacher but John says hey I don't want to be a motivational speaker because a motivational speaker you feel good but 30 minutes later you can't remember why but a motivational teacher you absolutely can feel good but you know why the skill set the the application piece but you know a a something that most people would not know about John in the area of creativity or in the area of leadership even when we have things that we need to make decisions on and I've brought him into those decisions he doesn't come in like he does from stage he goes ah we got this come on guys everybody good I'm more lean toward that to try to passionately inspire people through challenges John settles down almost becomes Melancholy in his demeanor as he works through it and allows that grind or that challenge to be felt in the room and doesn't try to get people hyped over it again I have to be careful with that but not John and so it's it's an interesting observation of John that when he's on stage when he's got the teacher's lesson in hand that he really challenges and inspires people through motivation but yet when he gets into a leadership context he very much settles his emotions down and begins to methodically work through that particular challenge I every day try to learn from him every trip just uh just a weekend ago from the time we recorded this podcast I was asking John John help me to distill below the emotion to the reality of the situation so that we can practically work through it and I think we as Leaders need to understand when we need to motivate and inspire people and when we need to be accessible and steeped in reality of a difficult situation I think John's given us a lesson on that with these four P's yeah he sure does I love how you said that he gets his he brings his energy low and and getting below the emotion that he does not rely on the hype of energy and as two energetic people you and I can relate to that of and and really that is a lesson to be learned for people who are high energy people to settle in and so that you don't walk away that the people in your hearing as a leader that they don't walk away not knowing what to do that's right feeling so good and I know I can tell you I have left and where I know that my audience felt really good and I know that they felt good and I know that they felt probably that they liked me but they didn't know what to do right and I know that I've done that before and so I it's just another Learning lesson and so getting into those four P's I feel like these really um the four P's that Inspire effort and I feel like he really in perspective and perspective I feel like he really um was there anything that you wanted to touch on those and pers persistence I feel like he really did a good job teaching on those um was there anything that you wanted to touch on those before we get to persuasion the only thing I would say on perspective is often we put our perspective on other people and we think wow if this motivates us it has to motivate everybody else in the room right and that's not true when John's teaching this perspective he asked the question it's in your notes how do others see things and many times we as Leaders we fall prey to the Trap of trying to motivate people the way we're motivated rather than motivating the people the way they are motivated and so leaders communicators get into the shoes of the people that you're trying to influence and understand their motivators their perspective and that's that's true on perspective too and you know the things that used to motivate me don't motivate me anymore I've changed I've matured I I I want I I want maybe less partying and a little bit more significance in my life and a leader needs to understand the phases or the seasons of the people he or she is leading to be able to motivate and that's what John's talking about with perceptives but again it goes back to the perceptive of the individual you're trying to lead or influence not your perspective perceptive I I I've often thought man a new car has motivated me at different times and sales contests and different things and somebody else goes I could care less about that as a leader we need to understand their the things that really grab their attention and use those in our inspiration professionally influence right now that when you're trying to motivate your kids and different kids what motivates one kid is going to be totally different so these can apply these four P's inspiring effort it's not just about teams in the marketplace we're talking about in families too because we are raising up leaders in our homes and so if we're going to inspire effort in our kids it's about asking the questions and inspiring The Thirst in the horse of our children that we really want to make sure that we do that as well okay so let's jump to number four because I would like like to park it a little bit there and I know that you and I talked a little ahead of time that that's really one we hated for it to like it was like a cliff he walked us up to the cliff and we were like oh we wanted a little bit more and so he walked us up Tracy he walked us up to the cliff and said take it away Mark and Tracy you guys go fast right and so that's what we're going to do you know right Tracy it's funny you just mentioned that make the kids thirsty in the lesson you heard John say that you can lead a horse to a horse to water but you can't make him drink and so then he says you you know a lot of people think you've got to inspire them to drink and John says no you got to inspire them to be thirsty because when you're thirsty you'll drink and so I think that really links to the foundation I want to lay with persuasion and one of the things that you and I podcast viewers podcast listeners one of the things you and I can always go back to in our life is working for an in a disingenuous leader that really was motivating us for their interest and for if you were if you were watching you caught the air quotes for those of you that were listening I did air quotes around motivating right there they're motivating us but really they're manipulating us right I mean it's this idea great leaders have to really walk the thin line between motivation and manipulation and that's why when John began to teach this persuasion through sweetness I think the sweetest thing to anyone's ear is what you've heard it said before their name when somebody remembers their name well I think in the art of motivation the sweetest thing that a leader can do to motivate people is to persuade me to do what I want to do that's sweet that's as sweet as a name that's sweet when a leader begins to know me enough and pull out of me the things that I am passionate about that I need to be pursuing and I I really want us as Leaders to know the art between manipulation and motivation or persuasion and trying to prescribe to somebody your opinion of what they want or what they should have if we if we can learn how to inspire them to thirst so what I want you to write in your notes Jared sitting in the studio today gave me that concept he said Mark I really think what John's talking about when you lead people to work to a horse to water you're really trying to figure out how to inspire others to thirst after their best self after their best version and when people get hungry enough it goes back to a quote I give all the time when the student is ready the teacher appears and and I'm sitting here today going how do I in the art of motivation how do I inspire people to a thirst persuade them to a thirst that will allow them to lean in and let me help them and it comes back to this one statement do the work of knowing your people do the work how can I better understand what causes my people to be thirsty I love giving personal illustrations and my my personal illustration here is Miley my Australian Shepherd she is the perfect dog Miley we when we travel and my wife Stephanie and Macy traveled with me that this past weekend and we we went out and Miley just doesn't like to eat while we're gone and she really doesn't like to eat when we get back she doesn't drink a whole lot she loses weight it's visible we can see it and she won't eat her food she just misses her mother she does not miss me because that would be a constant state of affairs but she misses mate she misses Stephanie she misses my Macy and so we got back yesterday she still wasn't eating so now she's about three days not drinking not eating so we took her on a run through the park I mean we ran we Chase She chased squirrels we cleaned the park out with all those terrible squirrels when we came back guess what Miley did she went to get something to drink and after about 15 minutes of cooling down she cleaned her entire Bowl you know why we made Miley thirsty we knew what it would take chasing squirrels is the ticket for Miley well find out what squirrels your team needs to Chase and when you can find that then you can begin to persuade them to be thirsty for their best self Tracy I think that's the art here I I agree and he said just as he it's about relationship and we we can't miss that it's what you're showing there is the relationship that he has with Stephanie and with Macy and I would even say a little bit you but um I I feel like what your dog was feeling like what people I mean we're all we we're drawn to relationship and John will say if you don't love people you'll manipulate them that's right and as a leader that's a great gut check but for those of us who also have had leaders what is the questions that John says that we're all asking when we're working with a leader can I trust you do you care for me and can you help me yeah so when you are in a position where you're feeling like am I being manipulated here some of those other three questions because was it what did he say great leaders ask good leaders ask great questions so ask yourself those questions is this person trying to help me can I trust this person because those are those kind of gut checks that you need to ask if you are feeling like you might be manipulated or if you're the leader if you're feeling like am I being tempted to manipulate them and he said Partnerships which is relationships the best Partnerships there is going to be a win-win it shouldn't just be one-sided where just the leader is winning or just the person we're serving and leading is winning the best Partnerships the best relationships where people are win winning and going through those four Ps where we are inspiring and motivating people is when we're going to see the win win well and and I and I go back in fact it's there's a relevant episode we're going to put in the show notes because it's it's really practical in helping you with motivation we did 10 maxims for motivation we did a series on that and I and we're going to put that in the show notes because I want you to to go back and really get some practical things the biggest thing I can give you is know your people know who it is that you're attempting to persuade to give perspective perceptive persistence too and begin motivating them representative where he says you never take a picture out and I love this because we're tying it to what you just talked about in the past and where we're going in the future he says you're always bringing a picture in and I've seen you live this out for years in regards to team members um and what that does for culture what it does for morale what that does for where we're going in the future and and I've also heard John talk a lot about just being transparent that that oftentimes that inner circle the the people that that got you there may not be the ones that get you there in essence and so talk a little bit about the philosophy of that and the lessons you've learned and how you apply that because I love that illustration from me being a sports guy the picture I never thought about it like that but I will from now on talk about that from your perspective yeah go Braves by the way that's right that's right too and uh forgive Chris and I for uh probably being overbearing to some Los Angeles Dodgers fans and some Houston Astro fans we're sorry but hey it is a long time coming for Atlanta and that is in any sport we're just thankful and so but I do I too love this analogy Chris because as the senior leader in our organization and I've been here for now 12 years but as the senior leader there are times when a transition is imminent it's imp it's impossible to deviate or or detour from there's got to be a staffing transition and Chris just like you just like many if not all of our podcast listeners as a participant as a follower and now for 11 12 years as a leader I've had to orchestrate and tolerate and live through um staff transition so going back to this um I never want a staff transition to be punitive I I've had to I've had to let some people go because of certain things that just could not be tolerated I would much rather take a picture put a picture picture in then take a picture out picture out I keep saying picture take a picture out and the reason for that is because um always want to be going to something it's going back to the the topic of the podcast this week I always want to be going to something not fixing something I want to be proactive not reactive I want to be Forward Thinking not rear thinking and and Staffing changes has got to be that too I've made a lot Chris we've talked a little bit about that number one I don't make staff transitions for the good of the company except in rare cases when again there's been some things that uh just are not matching the values or the expectations of Staff members I always want to make a a transition for the best of the person now listen to me leaders we're coming to the end of the year we've got to start 2022 with a bang some of you have been tolerating teammates you're the leader you're tolerating teammates that are in neutral and in some cases are in Reverse they're not getting better trust me on this as hard as the transition will be for you for them and for the organization you are not leading if you're allowing somebody to stay in neutral or in Decline that's good because we especially at the John Maxwell company we're about people development not people backing up we're about progress not about a retreat and so if that's true then if you have a teammate that is just surviving that is just kind of neutral that is kind of pulling back you need to transition them for their sake because every individual needs to be in an opportunity that is inspiring them to become a better version of himself to be a better leader so always make transitions about the person your time of growing contribution in this role in this organization is over so I'm going to set you free so you can go pursue something that brings out the best now as an organization that's as an individual I want that as an organization I never want our team to feel like that we're transitioning somebody from a punitive standpoint but we're transitioning so that we can up level the opportunity of our bigger better more brilliant future and that mindset even on Staffing transitions is really important in focusing on the future it's it's imperative that we do that in every single decision we as leaders have to make well today's topic is how leaders can grow all capitalists grow their people and I see here that you have the word grow as an acronym what's going on here Perry get fill us in well I know I was I felt a little bit at risk of bringing something which some people might think is very Elementary to a sophisticated podcast like this one um but I actually my experience tells me maybe I don't think so I have brought this up on many a coaching call recently when the leader was struggling with how to get actively engaged in coaching they want to be more of a coaching leader how do I coach more with my team and I and they don't know where to start I said have you considered the this model that is called The Grow model and I was stunned I look at the I'm watching them we're on Zoom a lot of times and they're they're taking notes and asking for clarification and questions and I go hmm maybe this is wouldn't be bad review for it'll be a review for many but it might be new for some yeah and I find it to be um simple enough yeah that is that it's usable that that that's what I was just thinking about I was thinking about it not being too complicated and as I was just sharing before we went um live in the studio the fact that when I saw the content come across I was like oh man I remember that from years ago but I haven't talked about it in a while so I'm looking forward to us diving in and kind of going through this well you do it well I've been working with you for quite a while and I see you with your team and how how you operate with this but I really would like your real world experience on how to apply some of this but um we do kind of complicate the coaching process sometimes I've had people tell me that they they don't coach people like they should because well I don't have a you know quiet office a white board a spreadsheet and all the all the stuff that you don't need all that and I think we should describe the grow model and how it works and then uh maybe you could tell me how we can apply that the uh you probably should be thinking about is how do you apply when you're coaching people is there is there a problem is there a behavior or a performance problem something you could be coaching to or you could be thinking about a career progression or helping someone understand the next steps in their in their progression through their career it could be a number of uh maybe even process oriented things you want to coach to in the organization but um the G stands for goal and we need to determine right off the bat what are we aiming for what is this person whether it's a performance Improvement what is the performance we're looking for is the career what is the what is the next step but what is the overall goal is how we start that off yeah although this is simple why I love this is Perry's bringing to us something that's very applicable when it comes to increasing your influence with people at level two where you're connecting with them but also at level four and at level four we talk about this in the five levels of leadership of developing people and when you do that you increase your influence with them and and for us I think the biggest thing that kind of pains us is that we see in organizations the cultures around the world there's a lid at level three so level one is kind of you lead people because of the title that you've been given level two is because you've connected with them level three is because you're producing but then when there's just a lid there and there's this there's this bacon area of what we call the leadership bench of developing people inside their organization this is a great very simple but great tool for you to use as you connect with them and then as you think about how do I go about developing them so now coming back to the goal right you mentioned this just a minute ago where if this is kind of a behavior or a performance problem we're going after behavioral change is what we're looking for there and what is the desired behavior in this goal the other one was you mentioned about it is this a career discussion and and the goal may be what is next what do you want to do with your career what you know what's next for you in in the organization or even outside the organization by the way it's okay to be doing this and developing them and setting up goals even if it is not to stay with inside your organization I think one of the things for me when I think about goal and I think about having conversations with people is that if it's within the organization and it's a behavior or performance that we're looking at and it's a behavioral change that I want to get really clear around what the goal is as simple and as clear as possible will it be uncertain will it be uncertainty absolutely there will be uncertainty about how we're going to go about getting it what does that look like what are the problems all there's gonna be a lot of uncertainty but man if we're really clear and and try to get the goal as simple as possible I think that does a great deal for not only the leader but also the individual what you're talking to there and then my last thing is is that I always try to talk about the goal in in terms of how that plays a huge part in the Enterprise in the department and in the Enterprise hey so when we go after this goal this is how it's going to affect the department and the team by the way this is how it's going to affect the Enterprise and you got to help kind of tie that to go together so those are two areas When you mention that that just come to mind and thinking about both of those is that one you've set up most people I don't think have a goal they're just trying to get through the day or the week or they'll get to the Target uh get to the quota whatever they don't really have a bigger G goal but I like how the last piece you add is really strong about tying that goal to the overall why am I relevant why am I even here yes you just increased my value to the organization because now I see why I'm why I'm here that's right to do that people it's simple but have that conversation hey podcast listeners how would you like to be equipped with the tools to continue your personal growth and refine your strengths and weaknesses all while being surrounded by other growth-minded leaders like yourself you may have heard of our International Maxwell conference or IMC it's our bi-annual event in which Maxwell leadership certified team members come from all around the world to grow and learn together IMC this August is the first time we're opening the events of the public by kicking the event off with our first ever personal growth day this is a one and a half day event on August 29th through 30th in Orlando Florida and it's designed to dig deeper into who you are and how you tick so that you can become the best version of yourself if you are unable to attend personal growth day in person we also offer virtual access to the event if you'd like to participate in a one-of-a-kind experience and stand shoulder to shoulder with growing leaders who will sharpen your skills and equip you to create powerful positive impact in your life go to Maxwell leadership.com forward slash personal growth day to learn more or get your ticket we'll see you there so the r stands for reality this is a taking a snapshot of where are you now in respect to this goal what what's our starting point I have a friend that he said it's unfortunate the uh the g-r-o-w is makes such a great acronym and you you can say called The Grow model because it really should be rgow because you should start with reality first and then go for goal but uh for the sake of keeping the model together reality I think this can be a tough one for leaders to get to yeah and two the comment you just made uh that a friend of yours said I think the the number one thing a leader is responsible for is defining reality like that's where we've got that's where we have to start and many people I think struggle with this especially if it's in the performance area where you think man I am I'm killing it like I you know I'm performing better than you know and we start comparing ourselves and and that is not a um that is not a model that we need to have As Leaders or as people or individual contributors when it comes to Performance when it comes to the career I think that many of us think we're further along in our career than we really are and that we have arrived and I think that there's a struggle there and so we've got to Define reality not only if we're looking at this for ourselves but also for those that we are coaching and we've got to help them understand that I spend more time here around the reality than I do on the G the goal because there's usually a gap and we've talked about this on a previous episode I think it's our responsibility as a leader to help our team understand the size of that Gap it'll be different for each one of your team members but we've got to help them understand that there is a difference between what's really going on and what the expectations are if that's our goal and we Define reality for for doing that the other thing is when I go through this and I Define reality as a leader in this model I don't I don't make statements about it I ask questions now listen you coach um very high level Executives and and then you coach also individual contributors on teams and I know that as a coach this is something that you work really hard at doing which is if I can ask them enough questions to get them to Define their own reality and to see the Gap then it's much more powerful than it is me just making a statement to say this is reality this is a massive Gap now you better go figure out how you're going to accomplish your goals it's just received completely different well completely and then also all of a sudden you become the problem in the yeah they look at you as causing that I know the the idea of leaders will ask me they say well what do you what should I coach as a coach to the Gap so yeah what do you mean by that I said well this is why the first two steps of this grow model are so important if I don't know where I'm heading and I don't know where I'm starting then the Gap is not going to be that obvious so like you said you spend more time on reality people struggle for some reason thinking they're better than they are doing more than they should they I don't think there's a great understanding sometimes of reality it's a great gift you can give someone to paint a picture of a goal performance or career or process whatever we're working on and then help them understand well this is where I see you give an honest appraisal of where they are so that it does all of a sudden the Gap appears you're here and you want to get there that's the Gap now let's talk about how do we do that that brings us to the O in the gro model and the O stands for options what could we do in order to close this gap or to bridge this Gap to get across this Gap that we've identified now in the first part of our conversation what are some options yeah when you get when you get to this with in the O of it with options I love this part because I love options matter of fact I tell my team all the time that I do much better again Perry and I talked in our last episode about even just creativity and how we're different in that for me I want to be able to react off of a couple of options and build off of that then if you just kind of bring me one one option of what this looks like so as we think about this as we go from the G the r then the you know to the o is that I think we can create and present and through questions we can come up with some ideas one of the things I do here when I talk about this is that you know I believe our coaching model is built off of something very simple I call it the Three A's which is um ask the tough questions uh help them develop an action plan moving forward and then hold them accountable to doing that and I think that um when you do that you'll be able to stir up and have conversations around these ideas and options but one of the things I do is that I challenge them to look at other individuals that are doing what they want to do so if whatever that goal is and they say hey I know that Perry has achieved that goal and I know that that's something that he has accomplished I'll say hey well what is it that you see about what Perry's doing and I ask the question and then I say well do you think if he was doing this that may help you like is that an option right oh it might be and you ask it an informal question but you also then get them to look out again they don't know what they don't know and so you get them to do a comparative analysis on maybe some other people that are achieving similar goals that they would want to do it's just one way for you to do that and then what I love you know is that if you begin to have those conversations and you leave them with these options and you're asking these questions then that just opens the door right into your next coaching conversation with them of being able to hold them accountable to your last conversation and I love that and the the big thing I learned about the old part about options was in used to be as much as possible their idea they they come up with the options again if you come up with an option and it doesn't work then you're to blame so getting them to commit for that leads us to the W the final step of the grow model and that is uh some say the way forward or what will you do um really trying to get them to pick one you don't want to leave somebody with four options uh you want to what are we going to work on and I think that really sets you up for those follow-ons and accountability how do you see that yeah that's a good point so for me you got to have clarity um around the goal right and and then you got to have Clarity around reality and then you got to have Clarity around what the options are and then guess what you got to have Clarity around the way forward it's the only way to your point where I mentioned the kind of Three A's about that accountability partner you should never have a conversation with somebody through this process and then leave it open-ended right you should always say hey all right so listen so what are your next steps what are you what it's one of the things I love about um you and I are part of our team and we run you know a what we call our L10 meetings on Monday it's through an EOS system it's a format that we that we use and we absolutely love it but one of the things is we get real specific in there and we say okay so if that's our goal this is where we're at right now and these are our options like what's the next step in order to continue our way forward and then we get real specific and we're really clear and we lay that out and then we come back and report that the next one so I would just say as I kind of wrap up and and think about our conversation today again another very simple model um Perry and I talk often about the fact that we love you know John Maxwell's leadership content we love being able to help people but the only way we're sitting here is because it's it's simple now it's not easy and it's not easy to implement but it's simple and so today's models we think about the gaps that we see with leaders connecting with their People level two and the gaps we see in organizations of not having a leadership bench because leaders don't know how to develop their people this right here this simple g-r-o-w method allows you to do that I noticed in the title you said when a leader believes sees and develops the potential in others why did you start with the word believe yeah great question I because of these conversations I'm having I realize you are not going to be a people developer you're not going to push people to a higher capacity to a larger potential you're just not going to do it if you don't personally believe in people if you don't believe that that I I didn't put this in our in our notes at all but about I kind of thinking about it as we were talking before the camera came on about even Carol dweck's uh mindset piece that you can almost have a fixed mindset about people sometimes I think well they are what they are no they're not it's a growth mindset that I need to have as a leader to really be believing that people can develop people can grow and it's going to be up to me the leader to I have to believe that if I don't believe it I'm not gonna probably commit I've got plenty of other things I've got to go do and that's going to take a back burner yeah one of the things I know you you've gotten pushback for when you're in front of the room or doing training or maybe even coaching um where you go 100 yeah you know where I'm going right which is like hey we need to put 10 on everybody's head on our team okay but they're not a 10. put a 10 under the team yeah like you get pushback from that don't you yeah yeah they're not a 10 they're a four I'm not saying they're a 10. I'm saying you see them that's right and that's why this is so important that we're talking about today uh as leaders that you have to believe and see the potential of those team members if you ever hope to develop it now let me just before you go any further sometimes that it may never come to fruition you may have the hope and you may see this but over time and giving them resources and trying to develop them and giving them opportunities and chances it may not get there and that's okay but you have to start at the place of you have to believe and see the potential in others well people will rise or fall to your level of expectation and I always ask people in coaching even in front of the classroom do you can you tell and you tell when someone believes in you that they think positively about you when they're interacting with you and they're talking with you when they're around you can you just tell if somebody thinks highly of you or doesn't think highly of you I think most of us can figure out that yeah I I think they think well I raise my game around those people I don't want to disappoint those people I I actually try to live up to that expectation and I think so many of us as Leaders we we set that I I I was just listening to Ed mylett and I got thinking about how people see themselves their identity yeah and this acts as a thermostat on them and you know a thermostat can heat up the room or cool down the room based on outside circumstances and what you've set it to well if you've set somebody up that there are four or a five then anytime they have a winning moment or they're they're succeeding or advancing that internal thermostat will just cool them back down to two to a five whatever they are and I'm thinking well you know am I if I'm a leader can I affect that can I help them to to see capacity because see that potential and believe in them that they can do it now we're on our way way before we start developing potential I believe you've got to believe it believe in them and see the idea to do that so I and I 100 agree with you so once we believe in the people and then we see that people have more potential more capacity than what we're currently seeing being lived out then how do we develop the potential you know for me um I kind of smile because I have this story uh that I'd heard and it really I tell it because it gets people on the idea of the term is next level is that do I believe that for me personally there's a Next Level can I um do people that I'm working with know that they have a Next Level I guess what I've figured out with most people is they don't even think this way they think they are where they are that they're that this is it and so the story was they uh guy told a story about going to a one of these local carnivals and they had a mechanical bull and he was with some neighbors and the neighbors said hey you can be like me saying Chris go ahead get on get on the ball I'm not getting on the ball now go ahead get on the ball this be fun and there's nobody here just get on the ball and uh he kept the guy kept rejecting but then the owner the operator of the bull said hey let me tell you uh it's it it's it's going to move it up but don't hold on too tight Hold On Loosely with a loose grip under the rope and then this go it'll help if you hold it too tight when it moves it'll throw you but if you hold on right the guy said all right I'll do it and he got on and then the ball rose up and it started flicking this way and flicking that way and the guy as he's telling it said he got a little confident and he started putting his other hand above his head and hold it with one hand and it went the eight seconds and the buzzer went off and he swings his leg off like he's John Wayne and comes walking back over and he he looks over at the uh the operator and says great tip that was great thank you very much and the operator looked at him and said uh that was level one uh you did great you want to go to the eight levels you want to go to the next level and then let you see the guy running running down the uh the the main fair at the uh at the at the carnival and thinking uh wow we always think we're doing pretty good yeah where we are but do you think about there being a Next Level so for me the first step was really like realizing there is a Next Level can I help people find it and can I help meet my find it but can we help people learn that hey podcast listeners how would you like to be equipped with the tools to continue your personal growth and refine your strengths and weaknesses all while being surrounded by other growth-minded leaders like yourself you may have heard of our International Maxwell conference or IMC it's our bi-annual event in which Maxwell leadership certified team members come from all around the world to grow and learn together IMC this August is the first time we're opening the events of the public by kicking the event off with our first ever personal growth day this is a one and a half day event on August 29th through 30th in Orlando Florida and it's designed to dig deeper into who you are and how you tick so that you can become the best version of yourself if you are unable to attend personal growth day in person we also offer virtual access to the event if you'd like to participate in a one-of-a-kind experience and stand shoulder to shoulder with growing leaders who will sharpen your skills and equip you to create powerful positive impact in your life go to Maxwell leadership.com forward slash personal growth day to learn more or get your ticket we'll see you there foreign for those of you that are not joining us yet on YouTube you just missed uh some of Perry's anime animations on that story um but but I love that right like the first thing that you just talked about is that we we need to help them believe in the next level uh they first got to kind of believe that but we need to also make sure that they have buy-in on where you're trying to develop them and where you're trying to take them as a leader that's right like ownership of them yeah like what what are their aspirations and listen there are going to be people on your team that you are leading that are not going to have the aspirations that that you want them to have or even you see in them they're just not going to have it and you've got to make sure that they have the buy-in but but if they do have the buy-in and they do aspire to what you see in them and and you believe in them and you talk about how to develop that if they do have that then I think what you got to do then as a leader is not only talk about that of what they they aspire to be in the capacity they have but then identify where they're at and where they can be like where their potential is and what you see in them once you have that conversation then what we call you know is is that is that disappointment Gap there in the middle which is hey expectations in reality are X and Y now what's the Gap and so you are as the leader have to Define what that Gap looks like and then you've got to help them with resources and tools by developing them as what we call kind of to bridge that Gap and to close the gap so that they can begin to see some wins right a great story level one on the bull right he saw a win yeah was it enough to get him at level two no not enough for that guy may have not have been enough for me either but I love that how he taught him a little bit developed them that bridge that first Gap getting on there and so as Leaders you you have to again let me just go back you need to make sure that they have buy-in they aspire to to to grow their capacity and grow their potential you have to help identify kind of where is reality versus where that aspiration or potential capacity can be and then you got to help resource them and develop them with kind of bridging that yeah I love that so hearing you describe that that way it really is a lot many leaders don't think about is that some part of your coaching conversation you can't just jump to the uh the development the the skill the the goal where some part of that it's got to be in understanding what are they capable of what is their capacity do they believe in themselves do they have the potential do they see the potential and and can you come to agreement with what is it we're really going for here what what is the next level for you and I'm here to help you get there and I think I don't think I ever spent much time I always kind of jump to the to the punch line of the coaching let's let's work on this and they're they must be shaking their head the whole time thinking like I can't do that yeah what are you crazy yeah but they'll put on a good act and they don't want to you know disappoint those type of things I I think it's a great big um Great Piece of what we do to help people believe that they can do more yeah and that I believe in you and I think for me if I know if I had somebody believing in me that was that was a lot of the problem right there that you believe in me yeah okay maybe I could believe maybe you can do it yeah foreign welcome to the Maxwell leadership executive podcast where our goal is to help you increase your reputation as a leader increase your ability to influence others and increase your ability to fully engage your team to deliver remarkable results