Lecture by Daniel Shapiro

Introduction

• Speaker: Sunny Sani
• Introduced Daniel Shapiro
• Daniel Shapiro
  • Expert in negotiation and conflict resolution
  • Founder and director, Harvard International Negotiation Program
  • Contributor to media (e.g., New York Times, O, the Oprah Magazine)
  • Awardee of multiple honors (e.g., APA's Early Career Award, Cloke-Millen Peacemaker of the Year)
  • Named Young Global Leader by the World Economic Forum
  • Author of "Negotiating the Nonnegotiable"

Daniel Shapiro’s Introduction

• Story about sneaking into a Google party at Davos
• Awkward encounter with Larry Page

Key Topics

Emotionally-Charged Conflicts

• Audience participation: many experienced emotional conflict recently
• Poplar tree story and conflict between North and South Korea
• Why do conflicts escalate and how to resolve them

Main Questions

1. Why do we get stuck in emotionally-charged conflicts?
2. How do we get out?

Issues of Conflict in Organizations

• Professional conflicts can cost organizations dearly
• Conflicts include poor decision-making, loss of employees, and toxic environments
• Rational approach often fails due to underlying emotional forces

Emotional Forces Driving Conflict (Tribes Effect)

• Tribes Effect: Us vs. Them mentality
  • Divisive mindset
  • Right vs. wrong perspective
  • Defensiveness
• Example Exercise: Tribes exercise at Davos – usually ends in conflict.

Five Emotional Forces (Lures)

1. Vertigo
   • Consumed by the conflict
   • Example: Professor's argument about a bedspread
2. Taboos
   • Sensitive or off-limit topics
   • Examples: Salaries, attractiveness, age
   • Difficult to navigate but essential to address
3. Repetition Compulsion
   • Repeating dysfunctional behavior patterns
   • Example: Emotionally abusive relationship
4. Assault on the Sacred
   • Deeply offensive attacks on values or identity
   • Example: Calling Microsoft employees "Google"
   • Importance of appreciation
   • Hostage negotiation story: Appreciating sacred values
5. Identity Politics
   • Defining oneself against others
   • Example: Political debates

Solutions and Strategies

• Address underlying forces rather than just surface-level positions
• Appreciation techniques: Listening and asking open-ended questions
• ACT Framework for Taboos: Accept, Chisel away, Tear down

Practical Approaches

• Transform adversaries into partners
• Joint problem-solving approach

Questions and Interactions

Q&A Highlights

1. Tribes Effect in One-on-One Conflicts
   • Yes, it applies and can be transformative.
2. Experiments with Tribes Exercise
   • Mixed results; most times, the world explodes.
3. Addressing Taboos
   • ACT framework: Accept, Chisel away, or Tear down.

Final Thoughts

• Be aware of emotional dynamics in conflicts
• Use tools and strategies to navigate conflicts more effectively

Conclusion

• Thanks and open for feedback