This video is sponsored by Incogn. More about them later. Rolling on sound. Everybody ready to go? I'm all by myself in here. So alone. So, I've done several videos now about expensive luxury homes on Zillow and how dumb they are and how stupid they are and how they are so uh idiot. They are so idiot that they are dumb and therefore stupid. But then I realized something else about houses. They do not float unless you count houseboats, which I do not for the purposes of this sentence that I have just said. Houses are just stuck in the ground sitting there doing nothing of interest. They're like Jabba the Hut, except living in him would be interesting, but in like a gross, horrible way where you probably don't live too long. What I am saying, my fellow citizens, is that houses do not bo. They do not float. They do not majestically crest over a wave and crash back down into the murky deep like a bottle carrying a timeless message of forgotten. But eternal love. You know what does do all that? Yakatas. Yakatas. How to pron yacht. Yacht. Let me try the slow version. Yacht. Yacht. If you're mega rich, which if you're watching this video, you probably are. Yachts are basically the ultimate status symbol. It's what you buy when you drive a really loud muscle car. So, let's get this video started with a version of LMFAO's classic dance standard shots with the word yachts substituted in yachts. Yachts. Yachts. Yachts. So, after recording this, I realized, hey, I actually can't do that. That's licensed music. This video will be pulled if I do that. But look how much fun I was having. Poor me in the past. I really pity him and loathe him. He has a major addiction to sniffing glue. But not me. I can stop anytime I want. anytime I want. But how are we going to find all the craziest yachts in the world? I mean, it's not like there's a Zillow for yachts called Yotter where you can buy insane yachts for up to eight figures. Oh, no, that is a thing. Here it is. Avasi Hardies. Here, there be mega yachts. That's a pirate voice, right? A Moonrakaker 2019 Belgian 156 ft for 26.5 million. That little apostrophe feet. I don't I'm not a boat man. I don't know what symbols mean. This boat's not for sale to US residents while in US waters. Flag of registry Cayman Islands. Listen, I'm no yacht lawyer, but that sounds sketchy. Here's a breakfast nook that extends out of the hull. Nobody asked for that. There aren't any guard rails or anything. I typically enjoy having brunch with zero risk of drowning, but maybe that's a luxury thing I'm not familiar with. Can you reach for the orange juice? Absolutely not. On second thought, this might be like a trendy take on walking the plank. Does a sassy pirate pop out and make you jump overboard? Is that part of the experience? Totally fine outdoor patio that is relying a lot on being on a yacht. This is one of those cushions that constantly slips out from under your butt. But at least I'm on a yakata giant refrigerator to keep the dead body so they don't stink up the place. Just toss those in the ocean. You don't need a fridge like that. A nice little chess board and a nice little back gammon board cuz you haven't really played board games until you've played them seasick. Also, one of the players will have to sit on the floor. If you wanted game appropriate seats, you should have spent a bit more than $26 million, you cheap bastard. If these chairs don't spin like the teacup ride at an amusement park, I'm not coming to your dinner party. The full description of this yacht says, "The interiors were imagined through a kaleidoscope in every detail. I don't know if that's the best way to design something, but hey, it does lead to some weird stuff. Like this weird staircase with weird glass bubbles, perhaps evoking the bubbles of the ocean surrounding you. Why not just go out and see the real bubbles?" Because you're inside. What? Who are you? I designed the yacht. You're not going to rush outside just to see some bubbles. Okay. It's just a fun design feature. Not a big deal. Stop making fun of me. Sorry. Oh, it's okay. I'm just making it a point to stand up for myself more. Bye now. Bye. Hydration. And on that note, it's time to check in on the astronaut because he's up in ad space cuz this video is sponsored because that's how I'm able to make these videos. Uh, hi there. Hello. It's me. I'm the astronaut. I'm out here in Adspace to talk to you about incogn. So, listen. You probably wouldn't like a sketchy person you know in real life having your data like this freaking guy that just moved in with me. Can I see your baby pictures? No. So, why would you put up with sketchy people on the internet wanting it? With data breaches on the rise every year, data brokers are having an absolute field day collecting and selling your private information like it's nothing. But the good news is you actually have the right to tell these data brokers to delete your info. And that's where incogns. Can I step into your dental records? What? Let me see the history of your teeth. Never. See, Incogn contacts data brokers for you, requests that your data be removed, and deals with any push back that may arise. All you got to do is create an account, grant them permission to act for you, and let them handle the rest. And let's not forget about those creepy people search websites in the US that publish detailed profiles on millions of people. Incogn, too. Oh, I love those websites. I bet you do. How did you get here? So, hey, you can get 60% off Incogn right now by heading to incogn.com/ Rryanjorge Exextra and using code Ryan Extra or just click on the link in the description. Uh, I know your birthday. Ah, dang it. He figured out my birthday. Incogn help. I usually use my telescope for that, but I that worked. A 2012 Helios Delta Marine 177footer. Maybe we can get a discount cuz it's 13 years old. No. 29 million. You're telling me I got to pay full price for a yacht that was made when Obama was still in office? This boat conveniently has put some beautiful shining lights on the dining room ceiling to mimic the twinkling stars of the night sky. Because how else would you look out at the night sky when you're out in the middle of the ocean? How would that be possible? Um, excuse me. You can't just plop some glass on a tiny Eldrich sea monster and call it a coffee table. That's super dangerous. That thing's not dead. That thing can't die. I love how they show the engine rooms for these posts. The one similarity that I'm very confident I share with mega rich potential yacht buyers is that we both don't know we don't know anything about what's going on in this room. What are these pipes and doohickeys? Oh, that's a what a nice crank. That's the exact crank I would have picked. What do you think, honey? Should we put a dishwasher right here? I'm going to kick this pipe. Make sure it's all good. Okay, the boat is sinking now. This $25 million yacht is called the Missing Link, and it's never going to sell because that's a confusing name for a web page. Missing link. I guess I landed on an error page. Maybe I'll donate the 25 million instead. Can you imagine if that happened? That would be horrible. This yacht is a Christensen boat. You just rename it Hayden and call it a day. Anyway, the missing link boat is a boat with an interior that says, "Hey, imagine you weren't on the ocean. Imagine there was almost no indication that you weren't just in a regular rich person's house. These rich people could save a ton of money by just installing TVs on their actual house walls with like the waves playing on a loop. This is like the glamping version of being on a boat. Did you know you can just not be on a boat? You don't need to spend millions of dollars on a boat that looks like a house. Also, I mentioned this in another video, but what is up with these chain link art pieces? You can't just take the chain links off your boat's anchor. That's reckless endangerment. Anyway, turns out there are more yacht sites out there. Yotter does not have the monopoly on websites that seem like you found them on your little fake phone in GTA 5. I found a website called boat international.com that actually has profiles for famous yachts. It's social media for ships. It's Facebook. It's hot or not or yacht. It's boat. It's a boat. It's a website for boats. First, you got to choose which insane boat profile to click. Fortunately for us, boats have names. And before you even click on any one boat, you see this incredible array of boat names like New Dream, Gentry Eagle, and no, I'm actually not self-conscious at all about having a small one. Why do you ask? This one's called the Black Pearl, like in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. It's a very badass ship. Any ship that sees you approaching in this one will say, "Oh my goodness. Oh my gosh. Jeez Louise." But then you see it without the sails raise and it's kind of it's not as it's not as good. Any ship that sees you approaching in this one will say, "You little Get the out of here." The sail holder things, which I assume have cool nautical names of some kind. They look like that thing like when a cartoon cat puts a whole fish in his mouth and pulls out a fish skeleton. Just not an intimidating look for a Black Pearl. I just make the crew keep the sails up non-stop cuz it looks stupid without them. Even if the wind was pushing us into the Bermuda Triangle. Keep the sails up, boys. We shan look silly on this day. This one is called Hodor, which is a a terrible name for a boat and b still the perfect name for this boat because it is like Hodor from Game of Thrones. It's big, it's dumb looking, and its entire reason for being is lugging around things that are more important than he is. I love you, Hodor, but it's true. Okay, you can't. We're still friends, but you you're a carry. You carry people. Oh no. I mean, look at what this boat is hauling. Helicopter, multiple speedboats, a fleet of dune buggies. This is like if a child tossed some of those giant man growth rings on his toys and someone was like, "Oh, I guess let's all put let's put that all out on the ocean." Okay, but I hear what you're saying. Who cares about some dime a dozen boats owned by nonfamous zillionaires when we can climb aboard the boats owned by famous zillionaires? That's right. Some of the boats featured on this website with their own profiles also include which famous person owns them. Here is Koru. Koru was reportedly commissioned for Jeff Bezos. Reportedly. How many mysterious super yachts are being built out there? Whose boat is that? Nobody knows for sure. Jeff Bezos. An Amazon spokesperson denied that he had it commissioned, but that's just cuz Jeff is such a shy little guy. Oh, he's so shy. Here is a pic of Koru without any sail things. Masts. Masts. That makes me think that this is Bezos's boat because masts are the hair of the boat world and Bezos would want his boat to be as bald as he is. It also has this figure head of a woman with large boobs. Big old boobies. The cool thing about those is that whatever size they actually are, they can still be considered seups. Here's a yacht named Dragonfly. Dragonfly was owned by Google co-founder Sergey Brin, who named it Dragonfly after Google's attempt to make a censored version of Google for China. Because some mega rich CEOs just get into censorship for the money, and some mega rich CEOs do it for boat name inspiration. Dragonfly also has a dance floor and an open air movie theater, which yeah, okay, I want that now. I do. I would like that. Wait, what movie are they watching? Computer enhance the 2011 Jim Carrey movie Mr. Poppers Penguins. This is Venus, about built for Steve Jobs. They built it to look like an Apple store, which is cool until someone with a lanyard asks you for the 10th time in 5 minutes if you need help and you need to explain again that you're not buying anything. You just need to charge your phone. The Venus even has a gang plank that looks like the charging port of an iPhone when opened. Unfortunately, if you pull up to any dock not made by Apple, you can't get off cuz it's not compatible. There's a bummer end to this boat story, though, because as it says on boat international.com, sadly, Jobs died a year before the yacht was delivered. And I think boat international.com is right. The sad part of death is when you don't live to see your yacht. Okay, it's time for me to abandon ship on these yachts. Let's walk the plank and landl the keelh hall. What do you say? Okay, thanks for watching. And I wanted to say one other thing. Oh, well, the video is actually over. Could you stop interrupting me? You've actually interrupted me twice at this point. Yeah. So, just as part of my whole standing up for myself thing, I just want to say that when you make fun of yachts, it makes me feel bad because I design yachts. You know, so you feel disrespected even when I'm making fun of the yachts you didn't design. That's right. And how much do you get paid to design a yacht? $4.6 million a second. Wow. Okay. And none of that money makes you feel better when I lightly rib boats you didn't even make. No, not at all. So, please stop making fun of me, you weird beard guy with weird hair. And also, your ears are too far apart. And I honestly don't care for your eyes either. Okay. Yeah. Note taken. Goodbye, everybody. Hi there. Hello. Please hit that subscribe button. I am a disembodied head. So you can trust me.